Ask a trans person!

[Soft*Silver]

I have got to get my boyfriend over here. His screen name is Camo Eagle and he just had top surgery done. It went well and other than some minor discomfort at first and later, some pinches here and there, he is healing marvelously well. He had breast cancer a few years ago. His Dr is also concerned about him taking T because of this. He also had open heart surgery too. And he is 47. So many obstacles and yet he follows his dreams. I love his pluck!

I as a femme could care less who battles with me about my orientation becaue of who I date. Good lord. When i was with a bio man, lesbians hollered I was one of them> When I came out, they said I couldnt be a lesbian because I shaved my legs, wore make up and smelled pretty. When I discovered butches, I fell in love all over again with who I was because I had met my compliment. And then i discovered FtMs. Good lord. It was like not just chocolate, but Godiva chocolate! So they can tell me where I dont belong all they want. I'm the one with the good chocolate all over her fingers and in her mouth..yum....

Give Camo until Monday at least..its his military weekend...and with the stuff at Fort Hood, i am sure he is going to be amply busy even when he isnt on base. Look for him tho!

[StephanieAlexis]

Originally Posted by Linus

Rather than make it specific to FTMs or MTFs, figured one thread should suffice. So, all those embarrassing questions you wanted to ask but figured or knew were kinda impolite, ask here. No guarantees you'll get an answer but you can ask.

Thank you Linus for setting up this forum. In this day of media/political misinformation and media exaggeration this kind of setting becomes all the more important.

[Julie]

Originally Posted by atomiczombie

Ok so I talked to my doctor (general practitioner) today, and she said I need to be careful about hormones because I have a history of carcinoid tumors. Geez, I had one in my appendix when it was removed 3 years ago. Now she tells me if I go on T they could come back and spread. They aren't cancerous tumors exactly, but they can cause problems. Ugh what do I do if the Endocrinologist doc says I can't go on T??

I read your Carcinoid Tumor diagnosis -- The fact is... Most carcinoid tumors are malignant -- Actually the highest rate of carcinoid is found among men. I would read this site and if you can get your doctor to consult with Dr. Richard Warner in NYC, the leading (USA) carcinoid specialist, I would ask him.

http://www.carcinoid.org/

Truly, this is something which you need to check into, and are you following up with chemistries with your history (oooo i sound like a mother). While it is true, most carcinoids that are in the appendix are benign.

Julie

[StephanieAlexis]

Originally Posted by Braedon

1) When did you begin feeling like you were different?

2) Did you always know that you should have been born the opposite sex, or did that come abit later though you always knew you were different?

3) When did you decide to come out, and how did you come out?

Good questions, thank you for asking.

Since many have already answered I'll try not to repeat and keep succinct. (No, seriously, lol!)

1 - I remembering starting to feel different by 1st/2nd grade, asking God why i hadn't been born like my sisters. Of course, not having any vocabulary to explain what I was feeling, the very thought that I should be asking such a question (circa late '60's/early '70's) scared me badly.

2 - Yes...and no. Again, I felt (with underlying knowledge) that I should have been more like my sisters, although i didn't know to what extent until later. (Actually, this seems to be asking 2 distinct questions, when did I know I was trans, and when did I know I was different. Should these always been assumed to be inclusive? Hmmm...)

3 - I came out just before my 40th birthday. it was a milestone filled with much emotion, agnst and hope. I came out in small, incremental steps at first, telling close friends, seeking out a therapist, a family member or two. I did tell my ex, which turned out to be the right - yet painful - decision.

[StephanieAlexis]

Originally Posted by Mister Bent

Today, after almost a decade of soul searching, consideration of my history, my future and a plethora of other avenues (you know the drill) I have turned my focus toward embracing this trans creature that I am, as I am. I want to be seen as just what I am - neither man, nor woman in the *conventional* sense. I choose this liminal existence, between worlds. I used to see that to mean I was perpetually on the threshold to some undefined something else, but if transitioning can be seen as a process of aligning our insides and our outsides, then my personal transition has meant recognizing that, for me, there is no "something else," there is only this. And despite the nonsense I sometimes have to put up with - you know the story - most often it feels just exactly right for me.

Thank you for sharing this, Mr. Bent. For me your story sums up how transition - however it is defined - becomes such a personal tool empowerment for the one going through it. (How I wish the critics would think about that.)

[Andrew, Jr.]

Mr. Bent,

I really appreciate your last post. Thank you. It hits home for me as well.

Namaste,
Andrew

[atomiczombie]

Originally Posted by InfiniteFemme

I read your Carcinoid Tumor diagnosis -- The fact is... Most carcinoid tumors are malignant -- Actually the highest rate of carcinoid is found among men. I would read this site and if you can get your doctor to consult with Dr. Richard Warner in NYC, the leading (USA) carcinoid specialist, I would ask him.

http://www.carcinoid.org/

Truly, this is something which you need to check into, and are you following up with chemistries with your history (oooo i sound like a mother). While it is true, most carcinoids that are in the appendix are benign.

Julie

If that is the case, then maybe I could go on T for a limited period of time, just until I get the masculinizing effects, then go off. I was thinking of that anyway, to be honest. Since I have no ovaries or uterus, I won't go back to producing estrogen afterwards, so that won't effect the changes that T will make. I gotta talk to my doctor about this.

Oh, and the word Carcinoid can be broken down to mean not cancer, but acts like a cancer: Carc= cancer, noid= acts like, or like but not the same.

Oh, and one more thing: when I had my appendix out, they did a CT scan and found nothing more in my gut. That was 3 years ago.

[Leigh]

I am just poking My head in to say hi to everyone

[Andrew, Jr.]

Hiya Braedon!

When I had my total hysterectomy, I had two tumors that were growing from my bladder down my leg. One was 5 pounds, and the second was 2.5 pounds. The doctor never saw them until she opened me up, then stopped surgery to get an oncologist. My surgery went from an hour and a half to 8 hours long. All of my internal organs moved around from the tumors that were growing. Then came the Oxycotyn. It triggered a heart attack. I went from one thing to another.

I still believe that my tumors were long growing and causing me pain, but the doctors I saw ignored my complaints. In fact, when I saw the last doctor she never wrote down any of my concerns about the pain I was experiencing walking or getting up from a sitting position to a standing position. All she said was I was fat and to loose weight. Sheesh. Now, it all makes sense.

If something isn't right, get it checked out. Doctors are a dime a dozen. If something isn't right, find a doctor who is going to listen and find out what is wrong.

[Julie]

Originally Posted by atomiczombie

If that is the case, then maybe I could go on T for a limited period of time, just until I get the masculinizing effects, then go off. I was thinking of that anyway, to be honest. Since I have no ovaries or uterus, I won't go back to producing estrogen afterwards, so that won't effect the changes that T will make. I gotta talk to my doctor about this.

Oh, and the word Carcinoid can be broken down to mean not cancer, but acts like a cancer: Carc= cancer, noid= acts like, or like but not the same.

Oh, and one more thing: when I had my appendix out, they did a CT scan and found nothing more in my gut. That was 3 years ago.

CT Scans do not generally find carcinoids until they are about 5mm -- there is a special scan called an Octreotide Scan, which detects these hormone producing neuroendocrine tumors. Including chemistry testing such as 5HIAA and ChromograninA. These are the only conclusive testing available in the states for carcinoid. Just be sure you check it out with your doctor and at the very least a carcinoid specialist.

Julie

[Mister Bent]

Originally Posted by StephanieAlexis

Thank you for sharing this, Mr. Bent. For me your story sums up how transition - however it is defined - becomes such a personal tool empowerment for the one going through it. (How I wish the critics would think about that.)

Thank you, Stephanie. I appreciate your insight - your perspective on my words helps me to see that, too. As well, you have pin pointed for me something I've felt from many of the posts here, but have not been able to quite find the words for, and that is the sense of empowerment that comes from self-actualization.

Sidenote: I think you're giving the critics too much credit when you imply that they think.

[Bit]

Originally Posted by Mister Bent

Sidenote: I think you're giving the critics too much credit when you imply that they think.

Okay, that actually made me snort... but I think you and Stephanie are both onto something here, Bent. One of the things I've noticed is that those who are vociferously anti-transition are almost always coming from a very emotional place, and they really aren't thinking. One cannot reason with them.

Once the emotions are spent, then they start thinking.

BTW, hello Stephanie! Welcome to the Planet!

[Leigh]

Just coming in to say hello to everyone

[atomiczombie]

Originally Posted by InfiniteFemme

CT Scans do not generally find carcinoids until they are about 5mm -- there is a special scan called an Octreotide Scan, which detects these hormone producing neuroendocrine tumors. Including chemistry testing such as 5HIAA and ChromograninA. These are the only conclusive testing available in the states for carcinoid. Just be sure you check it out with your doctor and at the very least a carcinoid specialist.

Julie

Thanks Julie, this info helps me a lot.

[NotAnAverageGuy]

Waving hello to my fellow Trans brothers and sisters

[Ursy]

Originally Posted by Thinker

I know there are transmen who do not like to hear the term "bio-male" to refer to someone......oh, someone like my brother.......but it's always been a natural default for me, and it makes clinical sense......*to me*.

I like the term "standard issue"... and my guy's a custom job
Kris sometimes uses the term "natal male". That kinda makes sense to me too. I think "bio-male" is useful in the sense that its meaning is more intuitively interpretable, when you're speaking in the context of "transness".

[StephanieAlexis]

Originally Posted by urs

I like the term "standard issue"... and my guy's a custom job
Kris sometimes uses the term "natal male". That kinda makes sense to me too. I think "bio-male" is useful in the sense that its meaning is more intuitively interpretable, when you're speaking in the context of "transness".

Urs, thank you for this!. "Standard issue" is a new term for me!

This post, and a couple of others, have made me think of language and lexicon regarding the trans-community. My experience has been if you get ten individuals who are trans you will come up with twenty different self-identifying terms. Sometimes this leads to further information; sometimes this leads to quarrels. ("I am not a tranny!" "Well, I am!")

My experience has been that this is not something new. I have heard this discussion blossom up in the middle of many different groups, whether socially, politically or even ethnically identified. For instance, which is more proper, dyke or lesbian? Queer or gay? Homosexual or same-sex?

Here is my question: Should there be any one standard of words/phrases used to identify people of transgender experiences and their lives?

My initial reaction is, oh hell, no! We are individuals and to some extent so are our experiences, and our language should reflect that. But then the activist in me says, well, yes, that's very p.c. but does having such a varied vocabulary help or hinder the community and its message on a more macro (local/state/federal) level? let me be the first to say, to that question I have no clear response.

[Andrew, Jr.]

I am just dropping by to say hello. I hope everyone is ok.

[NotAnAverageGuy]

Steph, I am with you on your answer to your question, but however I am still unclear as how as members of the community, that we can get other members to actually call us what we prefer.

[SelfMadeMan]

Originally Posted by StephanieAlexis

Here is my question: Should there be any one standard of words/phrases used to identify people of transgender experiences and their lives?

Yeah, I don't see a way to come up with a standard for this either. I consider myself transsexual, and some people hate that term. I just don't feel the term transgender fits me anymore. I don't really like "tranny" but some people do - so I think everyone has a term they feel more akin to and that's cool. I just try to determine what works for each individual and respect that.