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Old 07-27-2014, 10:37 AM   #1
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Default Opposites attract?

While reading the "living alone, does it make you weird" thread i got to thinking about my own relationship, and how we are polar opposites when it comes to some very basic things.

I am an introvert; enjoying time on my own, the thoughts in my head, and the friendship of a few carefully chosen people. A party is easier with someone to go with, and i never go a new place alone.

My Kasey is an extrovert; she loves everyone she meets, wants to talk all the time, wants to go/do/see everything, and always wants to be with me.

Yet...it works for us!

She gets me out and doing things, i give her the family eating popcorn by the fire, and she helps me be more involved with the world.

Because i am not working and she works from home there are few but precious alone times, but i make the most of them i can...reading, bird watching, napping etc...

So tell me, are you opposites? How do YOU make it work?
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Old 07-27-2014, 11:50 AM   #2
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You are pretty much describing me and my partner when it comes to the introvert/extrovert thing. Mostly I think it works for us although I am still not sure he 100% gets what it means to be an introvert.

We don't live together, but I spend at least half my time at his house. He doesn't mind interacting with me ALL the time and sometimes I have to say to him that I really want to be alone, or have suggested he go talk to some other friends LOL. Luckily he doesn't take offense. He worries sometimes about leaving me alone if he wants to go out and I am usually like--no REALLY, please go out. I will be fine! (In my mind: I can't WAIT to be alone finally!) We find humor in it.

My introversion helps ground him I think and his energy and extroversion does help me get outside of myself, and outside of the house so I am not a shut in.

He is also a very thinking/logical person and I am much more feeling/intuitive person. This CAN create many problems in communication, but it can also be good because we are each good at different things and help each other out.

We both do creative work (I'm an artist, he's a furniture conservator), but we do different kinds of work. He has to be very precise and also knows how to build things and I am really great at color and take a lot of risks. We have found that we both have assets the other doesn't have we have both helped each other out in projects.

He's a meat eater, I'm a vegetarian. That we just have to accept about each other, though when he picks up pig heads from the local butcher it's rather disturbing to me. But he cooks a lot of vegetarian stuff for me, which is nice.

What else? We are both fairly neat but not neat freaks so we don't have any Odd Couple issues there. He's 17 years older than me so there can be generational issues at times. With pop culture we are in two totally different places. Half the time he doesn't get my references and half the time I don't get his. He will ask me about a TV show for instance, that I have never even heard of. And I will ask when it was on. He will say "Oh in the early 70's." And I will have to say, my love I wasn't even born then LOL.

He also LOVES telling stories. Over and over and over. I prefer to communicate concisely and when necessary. I have a rule now where he can tell me the same story three times and then I reserve the right not to listen. Sometimes I will sit there for a while before I can't hold in the snickering and he will say "Oh, have you heard this one before?" Oy vey.

But on of the things I love most about him is that he lets me laugh at him.

He's an optimist, I'm a realist.

Really, our relationship is very complicated and the differences can be difficult. But I think on the whole we benefit from them when we remember to accept each other and also have a sense of humor! To me, it's beneficial to be able to draw on each other's strengths--we have gotten each other through difficult times that way and have also helped each professionally with interesting results.

I doubt I would want to be with someone too much like me! We'd just exist in opposite ends of the house reading books and never speaking or going out LOL.
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Last edited by candy_coated_bitch; 07-27-2014 at 11:56 AM.
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Old 07-27-2014, 12:20 PM   #3
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Thanks ccb!

Since we live together full time i have to find other ways to get me time...one of the best is when my daughter is gone for the weekend and i can garage sale by myself. I have a small ebay business and i find some of the coolest things at garage/yard/tag/estate sales.

Another way is walking the dog as it gives me time to think without a lot of distractions. Although, it's a bit hot now so we spend more time in the backyard.
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Old 07-27-2014, 02:13 PM   #4
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i have always said.."its a cruel world...opposites attract"...because it is a blessing and a curse to be with your "opposite self"

because in many ways opposites compliment each other and help each other not only survive but bring out the best in each other

but even when opposites are working together and creating amazing partnerships things can get very difficult....

being with an opposite can bring out the best and the worst in you...but you will never be bored!
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Old 07-27-2014, 03:12 PM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cricket26 View Post
i have always said.."its a cruel world...opposites attract"...because it is a blessing and a curse to be with your "opposite self"

because in many ways opposites compliment each other and help each other not only survive but bring out the best in each other

but even when opposites are working together and creating amazing partnerships things can get very difficult....

being with an opposite can bring out the best and the worst in you...but you will never be bored!
So very true!

I have been with people much like myself, and often times felt bored out of my mind! There is somethng to be said for beng with someone who brngs out your other side and keeps you on your toes. Lol
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Old 08-25-2015, 10:08 PM   #6
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I am a mix of introvert and extrovert, she is a major extrovert.
I listen to country music and she listens to rap.
I dress my way and she dresses her way.
There are a few more thing probably but I can't think of it right off the top of my head, I need to think a bit more.

I think if you can make it work, being opposites, than more power to the couple. I however have to work extra hard on mine, she is a handful and a half.
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Old 08-26-2015, 07:46 PM   #7
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I am not partnered at this time, however opposites doesn't work for me. I need to have some activities in common and also not have to listen to a bunch of fussing and sarcastic comments and commentary when I want to do something I enjoy. I've already rode that ride for many years in the past.

I am a social butterfly and rarely meet a stranger. I probably wouldn't do well with a partner who wasn't social.
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Old 09-16-2015, 10:14 AM   #8
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Originally Posted by Blade View Post
I am not partnered at this time, however opposites doesn't work for me. I need to have some activities in common and also not have to listen to a bunch of fussing and sarcastic comments and commentary when I want to do something I enjoy. I've already rode that ride for many years in the past.

I am a social butterfly and rarely meet a stranger. I probably wouldn't do well with a partner who wasn't social.
I can completely relate to this response entirely. I have had relationships in the past (though I am single at present) where we are opposites. I find that just doesn't work for me. I need/want someone who has the same energy and enjoys the same (or mostly the same) activities as I do. I find that if we are opposites, I am bored when I stay home too much.. and can't get the partner to come out as much as I like. It just doesn't work.

I am a social butterfly as well. I won't mix well with someone who doesn't enjoy being social and mingle with people.
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Old 03-07-2016, 01:42 PM   #9
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Old 03-07-2016, 09:41 PM   #10
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I usually work best with gregarious introverts. I'm a shy extrovert, and emotionally reserved.
I am also very slow to make judgements. Very slow. I feel I need a lot of information. But I seem to always partner with people who make fast judgement calls.

So opposites in many tempraments but not all. I need people who are emotionally level. Not highly excitable, very sensitive or easily offended. Or moody or have a temper. I need even keeled, emotionally.

Crying at puppies on the TV is one thing, but getting pissed off at dark/morbid humour or being highly anxious is quite another.

So some ways I like and enjoy and need opposites. But I need people who have a similar sense of humour, similar politics and values, and similar life goals. And we need a few interests in common or I'll be bored to death outside the bedroom.

It's a mix of opposites and commonalities that would make someone appealing.

Luckily, I don't have to worry about how that would mesh livng together because that has never worked for me. So I won't do it anymore. I don't have to worry about their living habits because I won't have to deal with them

I'm single and likely single for the foreseeable future. Unless someone local drops out of the sky and likes me for who I am, not who I could be for them.
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Old 03-07-2016, 10:48 PM   #11
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I am a typical Aries, found out years ago that for the most part two fire ball Aries don't mix well for long. Also cancers are a constant power struggle in one way or the other, I am pretty much a laid back border line quiet book worm kind of person till the time comes to be a full on Aries in all of its various ways. I have learned not to jump into anything till I know what's going on...That came with much maturity.
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Old 03-08-2016, 09:26 AM   #12
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The desire to learn more is the attracting quality I seek. If you can hold my attention, keep up/or match my wit, that will be what I'm attracted too. I get bored easy.

Your opposite traits will only intrigue me more. I will jump in and let you share the things that don't interest me. But, they will, because that is what I find interesting in you. Your excitement of talking about it, explaining to me , defining things, sharing that part of you will only make my heart happy. I may not jump in wholeheartingly, but I will respect your "opposite" interests. I will allow you time to pursue your interests always! As you will let me do the same with mine. That's sharing the personality of our relationship.

Its how we view life and where we have been, that will keep us attracted to each other. And, finding out we both love, the ocean, the same music, cilantro, steaks cooked rare, clean sheets, ping pong and taking bubble baths, is an added plus! Go ahead, you can like snakes, scary movies, spam and fishing! It's what we bring together, that attracts us!
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Old 03-08-2016, 10:03 AM   #13
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Yes, extroverts make life fun. With other introverts I tend to stay in my shell. My best friend in high school was an extrovert who always had a clever retort and that twinkle of mischief in her eyes. It was the best. The only thing I can't tolerate are crowds and large groups.
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Old 10-11-2017, 08:41 PM   #14
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my first love was my opposite but we didn't work well together.
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Old 10-13-2017, 04:38 AM   #15
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DC and I compliment one another very well. Our strengths and weaknesses balance each other out and make it easier to move through life's obstacles. I tend to get upset quickly but it burns out shortly whilst He tends to have a slow burning wick but when He gets upset, there's Hell to pay. He's more quiet and I'm more social. We're very yin and yang but We have a lot of similarities too. I think that 100% opposites will have a harder time of it than a couple that is 75-85% opposite. There's needs to be some sort of overlapping, be it favorite foods, TV shows, hobbies, etc.
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Old 10-13-2017, 05:04 AM   #16
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i totally think opposites attract and as long as you let each other be who you are, it can (and is for me) amazing
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