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Old 02-06-2013, 11:29 AM   #1
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Default Rings

I was looking at a rather pretty diamond ring which a straight friend of mine had "liked" on Facebook and it got me to thinking about the wearing of rings within our community. Most times when I run into a likely lesbian wearing a ring - it's a plain silver or gold band on the left ring finger. When I was a teen I remember hearing that gay people wore the ring on the right ring finger instead, but I've never noticed this.

Anyway, out of curiosity - do you or have you worn a ring as a symbol of commitment to a significant other? If so, what factored into the choice of rings? My partner and I have matching silver bands with runes that say "hearts as one." She picked them out, and I love her choice.

I do think diamonds are pretty, but the diamond trade is not. At some point we will probably upgrade our rings. As a femme, although I might enjoy a more sparkly ring, I do kind of like differentiating from straight women and I like that our rings match.

What have you / do you / would you choose and why?
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Old 02-06-2013, 11:53 AM   #2
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This is an interesting topic Nat, great thread idea

I tend to steer away from diamonds, for moral reasons.

Gaige recently gave me a sterling silver pinky ring, with a Celtic knot design, as a promise ring. The design is very much my every day style, and I love it very much.

When thinking about the exchange of rings that will happen in the future, I can't really decide right now. It will definitely be a two way conversation, because we are both very particular, and I'm certain we'll want them to match in some way, and that means we will have to agree on style/price/material/source.

As a Capricorn, I tend to have some traditional leanings, but my artist side has a different eye, and generally wins. I tend to want things that are original, one of a kind, and made by local artists.

I've never put much thought into whether my interests in jewelry are similar to straight women. I just like what I like. What you said about wearing it on the right is interesting. I've never heard of that. I think that for me, I would prefer to wear a wedding ring on the left, so that there is no doubt that I am married. I don't think I would want to explain to people why I would wear it on the right, or have people assume that I am not married.
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Old 02-06-2013, 12:01 PM   #3
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I have a lovely vintage diamond engagement ring. When we get married this year we will both get bands. I will wear my engagement ring and band together. My ring is white gold. That is my favorite. Rings are important to me but my most important piece of jewelry is my necklace Greyson gave me three years ago. I never take it off.
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Old 02-06-2013, 12:44 PM   #4
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If you are interested in conflict free diamonds you may want to try this site...

http://www.brilliantearth.com

Conflict free, many metals recycled and a small portion goes to charity. The also have antique/estate rings for purchase.

Katniss~~(diamonds are still a girl's best friend...just the conflict free kind.)
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Old 02-06-2013, 12:50 PM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Katniss View Post
If you are interested in conflict free diamonds you may want to try this site...

http://www.brilliantearth.com

Conflict free, many metals recycled and a small portion goes to charity. The also have antique/estate rings for purchase.

Katniss~~(diamonds are still a girl's best friend...just the conflict free kind.)
I do love this site, I have been frequenting it for quite some time. They have beautiful choices.
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Old 02-06-2013, 01:01 PM   #6
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Desd and I have her parents first wedding set the sentiment behind it is deep even if my dad was kind off pouting then he said we could have asked him he had 5 sets..
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Old 02-06-2013, 01:22 PM   #7
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Mitmo and I have rings that are the same and at the same time completly different.

Mine is a gold freeform shape with four rubies set in the natural openings...

Mitmo's is silver without any bling... I had it made from my ring..

We wear them on the traditional finger...
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Old 02-07-2013, 12:22 AM   #8
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For many years the only ring I wore on a regular basis was my college ring. It was very special to me because my twin sister gave it to me and I was the first college grad in the family. I stopped wearing it a few years back.

When I get married I will wear a simple band on the traditional finger, left hand. I am unsure if I want white gold or yellow gold. If I were to pick a ring that is not a traditional wedding band, it would be yellow gold with onyx inlaid and one small diamond. (That is the more flashy guy inside of me.)
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Old 02-07-2013, 07:34 AM   #9
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RyRy and I have plain silver bands, worn on the left hand. They look pretty plain on the outside but on the inside they both say "I am my beloved's and my beloved is mine."(Song of Solomon 6:3) We always face the inscription toward our hearts. Cheesy? yes but I love it.
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Old 02-07-2013, 07:47 AM   #10
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Spritz and I went to the jewelers together. Hers' was picked first. White gold with a little stone, and a Celtic knot design that is done with the actual ring. So there is spaces between and through the ring intself. I love the way it sits on her finger. Mine was decided based on her choice. Pewter band with a Celtic knot design on top of the metal in a blacker offset color from the pewter.

I'm thinking we may have to get another set when we have our wedding. It just makes sense to me to do that... These rings can be transfered to our right ring fingers at that time. I have heard in the past about non-heteros having their ring on the right hand. I'm not a fan of that... commitment is commitment, it's not a gay/straight thing.
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Old 02-07-2013, 09:02 AM   #11
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Default Rings

I have my parents. So when I get married I will have them sized to fit us both.
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Old 02-08-2013, 11:07 AM   #12
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Ahh... to ring or not to ring?

If you've read any of my posts - you know that i'm at least (fairly) old school and traditional (minus the club and cave) - and absolutely a die hard romantic.

And I speak from the (male) point of view. I know men who don't wear (rings of commitment or wedding bands) or women (and) men both who will say - it's not necessary...

And a recent conversation with a friend at work who says he went to one of the "mall" stores to look at rings...

I don't think it is the "price" of the ring that matters or the "size of the diamond" so to speak (some women may disagree)...I think it is the size of the heart of the giver of the ring that matters...the thought - the care - the fact that he should want it to be unique and special and one of a kind - and amazing in every way possible - (just) like the woman he loves.

Any woman who wouldn't accept a ring given in that spirit of commitment and love ...well...if it is "just" about the size of the diamond...then he is forever going to be trying to do "one better" to make her happy.

I don't even think if unlimited financial resources were available it is about the size of the ring...it is still and always about the heart.

And any man who says he doesn't want to wear a ring...then something is wrong - and ladies ... I'd be asking ... "why not?" ... and believe me - no man that loves you as he should - would never even think about not having a wedding band on his finger (yes,left) to signify that he belongs wholly and completely to (his wife)...and trust me...men like to know they belong to the woman they love (if they say different - its all BS)...we kinda like knowing she has "staked her claim" so to speak...

And, yes - I absolutely believe in commitment - and that rings are important to signify that relationship (biblical even).

And reflecting on a conversation of yesterday ... ladies ... if you are "waiting" for that ring - for a man who has been saying and saying...that he just "needs" a little more time - or one excuse or another ... time to re-evaluate. (my opinion only).

Because again, (from my point of view only) - when a man knows he has found his one and only true love (he does not wait - and he does not have excuses) - he does what he needs to do and as the phrase might go "puts a ring on it" ... because when he finds that one and true love - believe me... "commitment" of any kind is not an issue - whatsoever.

Oh - and for what its worth - I do believe in the concept of "engagement ring" and then also "wedding band" - two different things... if there is no "engagement ring" - how are we suppose to you know actually say: "will you marry me?"

And guys - trust me...if a woman says the "asking" doesn't matter...she doesn't mean it. The "asking" matters - and again - it is the heart with which you ask...not the flash or expense behind it...

Now that i've given all my sage advice ... you may think that I have previous experience with all of this - I do not...but if I am truthful - and some guys will not admit this readily - (or maybe they will) - but we have dreams about that woman we will ask to be our wife...I know I do- or maybe its not so much the "who" as the "how" ... and that is where the heart comes in...

As always... Just my two cents worth...
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Old 02-08-2013, 11:24 AM   #13
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Pete gave me this ring with a black pearl, and

I wear it on my right hand because

It's not an engagement ring, but it's very special to me, and

I wear it all the time, except when I shower or do dishes.

I got Pete a simple ring that a local jeweler made for her.

I got her a nice Seiko for her birthday at the same jewelry store.

The young lady who waited on me chose the perfect watch, since

Pete prefers sturdy things but she has little paws.

I don't know whether Pete has thought about my engagement ring.
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Old 02-08-2013, 11:39 AM   #14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by justanolecowboy View Post

<snip>

If you've read any of my posts - you know that i'm at least (fairly) old school and traditionalecause again, (from my point of view only) - when a man knows he has found his one and only true love (he does not wait - and he does not have excuses) - he does what he needs to do and as the phrase might go "puts a ring on it" ... because when he finds that one and true love - believe me... "commitment" of any kind is not an issue - whatsoever.

<snip>
Well, I don't date men, but one of my best friends has been dating the same man for about five years with some breaks.

After they had been living together for two ish years, she let him know that she was ready to make a more serious commitment. He was not ready, and they split up.

Almost a year passed, and he said he was ready to get engaged, but she didn't get the feeling he was truly there.

They got engaged recently and you can see how utterly happy they are in every picture.
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Old 02-08-2013, 11:44 AM   #15
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I have a "going steady" ring. Which came about as a little bit of a joke, when he asked me to go steady and I said... "but where is my malted? And Juke box, so I can pick our song? And I need a pin, or your class ring"? So a couple of weeks later, he gave me a ring. It was already discussed that I don't really wear rings- so he gave it to me more as a token, it was his mother's. It's sweet, a Celtic knot. I wear it more than I thought I would. He doesn't mind that I don't wear it much, he just wanted me to have it. I think if we progressed to another level of things that would normally be marked with rings, we'd probably do necklaces or something like that since neither of us are big on rings. I don't have any moral opposition to them, I just tend to lose them. Often losing them because they are bothering me and I take them off and stick them "somewhere" or because when my hands are cold, which they often are, my fingers get smaller and the rings fall off and I don't notice.
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Old 02-08-2013, 12:29 PM   #16
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Rings are important to me. I grew up in a religious cult that did not allow women jewelry or makeup. After I left the cult I realized what a sense of safety wearing ornament gives. Coming from the background that I do the most important part of my ring is that it sends the message 'someone is expecting this girl home and if she doesn't come home someone will come looking for her' I maybe the only person who receives this message from this ring, but it's still an important message.
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Old 02-09-2013, 08:45 AM   #17
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Default Thoughts on thread/rings

What I have seen is that it is gay men who tend to do the matching right hand ring thing. I usually only see it on older men (60 +)and this leads me to believe that this was more common a couple of decades ago. Typically, I have seen it on men who have been together for a couple of decades, as well.

I have seen the simple, traditional band on lesbians, but on the left hand, in the 55+ group. I see the matching rings more often on gay men than women, though.

My lesbian neighbors (who unfortunately broke up after 19 years), wore traditional bands. Or, at least the one who left did. They are in their late 40's.

For me, choosing a "conflict free" diamond is important, and I would not consider anything else.

I think it is ridiculous that people care more about the size of the diamond, than the quality. Quality is important to me. A smaller diamond, with better quality makes more sense to me.

I would suggest people look into lose stones, rather than a already packaged stone and ring. Often you can get a better quality diamond for the same price if you buy a lose stone (there are companies out there who only sell lose stones), and then add it to the ring of your choice, later.
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Old 02-09-2013, 09:53 AM   #18
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Originally Posted by LeftWriteFemme View Post
Coming from the background that I do the most important part of my ring is that it sends the message 'someone is expecting this girl home and if she doesn't come home someone will come looking for her' I maybe the only person who receives this message from this ring, but it's still an important message.
snip....LWF...I LOVE this part of your thoughts.
I am of an almost similar train of thought.
To me, it shows that I am loved, wanted, and that I belong to someone.That somewhere, someone cares..and that My someone is also loved, wanted, and cared for..and that they belong...
When I was an ER Charge Nurse, and accident victims would come in...whether critically wounded or DOA...I always immediately looked at their hand to see if they had a ring on...for the reasons we both stated....
I know there are always exceptions to the rule, but we are talking about committment rings, etc here...

Great thread BTW!
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Old 02-09-2013, 11:06 AM   #19
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[quote Coming from the background that I do the most important part of my ring is that it sends the message 'someone is expecting this girl home and if she doesn't come home someone will come looking for her' I maybe the only person who receives this message from this ring, but it's still an important message.[/quote]


_____IT absolutely says that...the wearing of the ring - signifies so much...(to some it does not - i realize) - but to the majority it does - and it means different things to different people - with the overlying theme (to me) - yes, commitment...and there can be and I will say is no greater feeling that being "committed" to the one you love...as for me commitment (is) part of love...
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Old 02-09-2013, 11:10 AM   #20
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Pete gave me this ring with a black pearl, and

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