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Old 11-28-2019, 08:08 AM   #961
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When you have to increase the font on the computer, while you are wearing your glasses.

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I'm misunderestimated.
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Old 11-28-2019, 08:27 AM   #962
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My hair is going grey and I think that I am shrinking. Haha!
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Old 11-28-2019, 12:53 PM   #963
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i like parades.......................i've never liked them before
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Old 11-29-2019, 07:08 AM   #964
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~~
Dietary restrictions.....
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Old 11-29-2019, 09:30 AM   #965
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(you look for)Large Print
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Old 12-01-2019, 05:44 PM   #966
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When riding a motorcycle in the winter, or the very late fall, or very early spring, becomes an odious chore no matter how much adrenaline it produces, and no matter how many young men look at you admiringly as you meet the challenge.

Nope. Getting back in my car now.
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Old 12-01-2019, 07:48 PM   #967
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Cool Seniors (i.e. MEEEEE)

You are offered a senior's discount, even before you have asked for it lol
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Old 12-02-2019, 02:56 PM   #968
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my ugly xmas sweater is cool now
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Old 12-06-2019, 11:32 AM   #969
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When you look forward to receiving socks, gloves, and hats as holiday gifts.
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Old 12-06-2019, 07:04 PM   #970
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When you look forward to receiving socks, gloves, and hats as holiday gifts.


.........
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Old 12-07-2019, 07:23 AM   #971
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I seem to be tripping and falling more. I scared myself and my colleagues in New Orleans when I tripped on an uneven sidewalk. I was very careful after that but I hurt my hamstring that day. Ugh.
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Old 01-25-2020, 06:38 PM   #972
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The other day there was a sizable utility project and inspection on my property. I was interested in knowing some of the more detailed aspects of the project out of curiosity. The inspector was a nice fellow who seem to be enjoying imparting his wisdom.

After a few minutes and probably too many questions he looked at me and said “you’re retired aren’t you? “

Yep, that’s me… back in the house to let him do his job.
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Old 01-25-2020, 08:05 PM   #973
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Everything you used to do is no longer as much fun as it used to be.
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Old 01-25-2020, 10:52 PM   #974
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I't like the line in that Leonard Cohen song - I ache in the places where I used to play.
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Old 01-26-2020, 06:01 AM   #975
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When your Partner gives a Life Alert to wear around the neck with the explanation that I fell in the shower, and a neighbor had to rescue me by crawling through a window. Supposedly, I was beating on the shower walls.

A bit of it sounds like a fish tale, but if She, not known for lies, felt She was so concerned about my poor balance, that She needed to lie about this. I finally said, "yes Sir."

She hit the ball home after having no recollection of any of this.
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Old 01-26-2020, 06:03 AM   #976
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Quote:
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Everything you used to do is no longer as much fun as it used to be.
Assuming you can still do them.....
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Old 01-26-2020, 06:59 PM   #977
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Assuming you can still do them.....
That too! ........
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Old 01-27-2020, 09:17 AM   #978
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When the '70s name for a common street drug completely escapes them, leaving only blank
stares in the wake. Really, dudes?
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Old 06-26-2020, 07:48 PM   #979
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When your retirement age Dr says you're getting on up there
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Old 06-26-2020, 08:38 PM   #980
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People like to say " Oh age is only a number, it's all in your head"

What tiresome bullshit!

Your body does age, weaken, whatever...so does your brain, btw...

But here's my secret to success...and I've surprisingly managed it quite well:

1. Never do any sports. Screws up your knees, you'll be sorry later.

2. Smoke, the tar will hold you together quite nicely

3. Drink alcohol, preferably beer...it'll fatten you up and that will help you fight off osteoporosis.

4. Love your grandkids but ignore your children and stop asking yourself how you produced such dullards.
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