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Old 07-04-2011, 01:53 PM   #41
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I don't particularly like vanilla Andrea or creamed corn yet I'm not gonna go ewwwww ickie and not consider folks that do.
Once again I have not been clear. It is not the person I find icky. It is the wearing of fur. Just the thought makes me itch.

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Old 07-04-2011, 01:54 PM   #42
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I think I'd be wondering more, if the mom is the custodial parent, then why isn't the boy with her

I believe there's much more to this story than we know

Who knows what this child has been exposed to throughout his young years
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Old 07-04-2011, 01:55 PM   #43
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Look - I am not going to defend the parents here or the child... Because all we have is a brief synopsis from the OP Okie.

Once upon a time my eldest was unhappy that I was a lesbian and had a very butch partner. I forced my child to live with this. I am/was the custodial parent. Was I being an abusive parent? Should they have been taken away from me, because I lived as an open out there militant dyke.

There are people in this world that feel my children were being abused by being subjected to my homosexuality.

How does this really differ? Who are we to say what is right and what is wrong?

Kids will have issues. We sometimes as parents add to their issues, but it is our responsibility as parents to be sensitive and have communication.

That would be the question for me. Are the parents being open with this child and are they hearing him and explaining things in a form which might make the child understand more?

In some communities in society - being gay or lesbian is considered deviant and kinky.
... ahh hmm i dont know...... do you let your kids into your bedroom while having sex?? do you leave your adult toys laying around so your kids can see it ?? or play with them in front of your kids?? do you talk to your partner with sexual comments or gestures .. in front of your kids?? do you walk around with a tail stuck in your but around yours kids??
or
are ya'll just raising them as any normal parenting couple gay or str8 should??
you forced your kids to live with you and your butch partner?? were you embrassed by this??? or am i missing something here??

i lived in a few big cities and im sorry but i never ever ever.. witness people walking up and down the streets having a tail poking out of there butt's.
on a every day basis...

im gay .... i keep my kinks in the bedroom. its . what I figure guess a time and place.


just my 2cents .

im heading out the nature reserv here in iowa.....in a lil bit here.. and hit the trails... maybe i should ask Mr Leonard if hy would stick a tail in my butt so i can walk around for all to see .. yes?? or wait........ maybe the spreader bar.. that should be interesting.. heh
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Old 07-04-2011, 01:55 PM   #44
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Red face

I'm going to assume that most of you feel I'm fucking up my kids because I have slaves who when collared have a lock and chain proudlyaround their necks. I assure you my children have never been abused by my hand and are highly evolved caring human beings. They've also been around leather clad men and women and have Leather men as God parents.
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Old 07-04-2011, 01:55 PM   #45
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Once again I have not been clear. It is not the person I find icky. It is the wearing of fur. Just the thought makes me itch.

Andrea
I agree - wearing dead animals repulses me - however... I do not throw red paint at fur wearers (anymore). Once upon a time, I stood in front of bloomingdales with a can of red paint.

Those were the days.

I don't think a furrie is about wearing dead animals, really. I bet there are some vegan furries.
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Old 07-04-2011, 01:56 PM   #46
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I don't know, if any educating is being done, but the OP needs to talk to the mom because it is her responsibility to know what is going on in her sons life. I don't understand why Red wouldn't be in her nephews life if she told the mom, that makes no since to me.
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Old 07-04-2011, 02:00 PM   #47
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... ahh hmm i dont know...... do you let your kids into your bedroom while having sex?? do you leave your adult toys laying around so your kids can see it ?? or play with them in front of your kids?? do you talk to your partner with sexual comments or gestures .. in front of your kids?? do you walk around with a tail stuck in your but around yours kids??
or
are ya'll just raising them as any normal parenting couple gay or str8 should??
you forced your kids to live with you and your butch partner?? were you embrassed by this??? or am i missing something here??

i lived in a few big cities and im sorry but i never ever ever.. witness people walking up and down the streets having a tail poking out of there butt's.
on a every day basis...

im gay .... i keep my kinks in the bedroom. its . what I figure guess a time and place.


just my 2cents .

im heading out the nature reserv here in iowa.....in a lil bit here.. and hit the trails... maybe i should ask Mr Leonard if hy would stick a tail in my butt so i can walk around for all to see .. yes?? or wait........ maybe the spreader bar.. that should be interesting.. heh

Please do go back and read my post. NO, I was not embarrassed by the fact I have lived and loved female bodied masculine women for 33 years. My point about FORCING them, was keeping them in the home, even when it was an issue for my son. Got it?

I absolutely cuddled and kissed my partner in front of my partner. We slowed danced and she would smack my ass! My kids would shriek with joy.

My point - OUR community is considered as KINK and Deviant by other communities. Do you not see that we are taking another faction of our community and judging. That is my point.

And personally, I could care less if someone wears a tail - I would be respectful and as a parent, if I brought my children into a situation where there was were furries, I would explain to them in a most loving, respectful and nurturing manner. It is how I have always raised my children - to know, we are all different.

But then again - my kids knew about sex - inside and out at a very young age. They used to sit in on safe sex meetings I would give, which included anal and oral sex discussion.
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Old 07-04-2011, 02:00 PM   #48
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FFS people they ARE NOT wearing dead animals on their bodies, they buy expensive animal costumes of choice and wear them at events and Furrie Fetish is common in both heteronormative and queer culture and NOT necessarily tied to Leather/BDSM.
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Old 07-04-2011, 02:00 PM   #49
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I'm going to assume that most of you feel I'm fucking up my kids because I have slaves who when collared have a lock and chain proudlyaround their necks. I assure you my children have never been abused by my hand and are highly evolved caring human beings. They've also been around leather clad men and women and have Leather men as God parents.
Not at all, I trust that you have talked extensively to your children and have taken their opinions into account. I do not see the correlation between the OP's scenario and your pack at all.
I know you to be honest and sensitive to your children and their needs.
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Old 07-04-2011, 02:02 PM   #50
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In many communities homosexuality is considered deviant sex and kink.
Gay men are still placed along side with pedophilia.

I am not disagreeing - I think the parents need to speak with the child, if they have not already done so. We really do not have all the details and all we are doing is judging.

Do you not see the judgment here? And all this based on a few lines of text.
Yes I am making a judgment, you are right. However, given what the OP said, I don't think my judgment is unreasonable. I don't consider myself a judgmental person, in that I don't condemn people for having a different point of view or living a different lifestyle than I do. (And I am a very kinky guy in the bedroom, dungeon, etc myself!) Consenting adults have the right to do what they please as long as it doesn't harm anyone. According to the OP, this kid is really uncomfortable. He isn't a consenting adult. Therefore, it is harming someone.

Perhaps we don't know the whole story, and there are other factors to consider that we don't know about. I can only go on what the OP said and I find the described situation to be very disturbing and unfair to the child.
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Old 07-04-2011, 02:04 PM   #51
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i know this is hard to do with a family member
BUT.........
think of your nephew .... you would be his voice call SS / child protective dept... you dont have to tell them who you really are.
I did .... with a member of my family....... my sister cuz she had a drinking problem and would drive to get her son from school and among other things.
just my 2 cents ... but no your nephew being a minor should NOT be subject to his dad's sexual/fetish life style.
where is your nephews mom???
maybe offer your home to your nephew to come too... ?? just a thought
Calling CPS is extreme, especially when all of the facts are not present.

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Originally Posted by Okiebug61 View Post
The father has already told Nick and us that it's a packaged deal. Nick's mother has custody and she is not aware of the situation.
Like most others have said, this is a problem. The custodial parent needs to know what's going on with her child when he is not in her home/presence. That is not to say that she needs to agree with the dad's slave and all that it entails for him, but awareness is a necessity.

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Originally Posted by gayla View Post
To me, this has very little to do with anyone's personal ID and everything to do with what is appropriate, or rather inappropriate in this case, behavior to display in front of a 12 year old.

It's one thing for a person to say that they are staying true to their personal ID and proudly displaying that for the world to see but something completely different when that ID impacts a child. It takes it to yet another completely different level when the people involved are actually raising the child and not just walking past them on the street.

Claiming that a 12 year old is just going to have to deal with it, is so beyond wrong that I really don't even have words for it.

Although, I'd be happy to go for hours about the long term affects of the "dealing" options.
I agree that an adult's personal identity should not be thrust on a child. They are still trying to assimilate in this world and one's father and his furry slave may create confusion and other emotional and identity issues if not addressed openly and honestly with the boy and, ideally, the custodial parent.

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Originally Posted by DomnNC View Post
A child should not have their sexual identities shaped by their parents, this is something a child should explore and define for themselves just like we all did.
Exactly. Educate the child, but don't dictate to him.

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Originally Posted by The_Lady_Snow View Post
I have to ask as everyone goes ewww and ickie, has anyone considered that we may have furries in this very community..

How do we know this 12 year old is straight?

Why isn't the mother being told?

Why is it wrong for an adult to wear a tail?

Has the father taken time to talk to his kid?

What does public mean? Is the furrie going to a school function in furrie wear?

Is the issue cause the person is transgendred? A slave? Or a furrie?

I'm curious as a slave Owner with kids.
You beat me to the questions I was thinking. We all know what happens when we assume something. Whether the boy is gay, straight, bi or a transgendered furry himself is neither an issue nor a concern for any of us here.

The mother needs to know. She doesn't need to approve, but there needs to be open lines of communication and the boy needs to see both families working together.

I think the tail should be left at home when it comes to the PTA, but the grocery store is different.

Good last question! I wonder if it's the visual of the tail that's so offensive or if it's the rest of it and the complex identity and orientation issues that are sure to come up.

If there is a safety issue for the boy, due to the ignorance we all know is out there, then his safety and well-being should come before anyone's exhibition of their kink. Kids come first.
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Old 07-04-2011, 02:08 PM   #52
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Yes I am making a judgment, you are right. However, given what the OP said, I don't think my judgment is unreasonable. I don't consider myself a judgmental person, in that I don't condemn people for having a different point of view or living a different lifestyle than I do. (And I am a very kinky guy in the bedroom, dungeon, etc myself!) Consenting adults have the right to do what they please as long as it doesn't harm anyone. According to the OP, this kid is really uncomfortable. He isn't a consenting adult. Therefore, it is harming someone.

Perhaps we don't know the whole story, and there are other factors to consider that we don't know about. I can only go on what the OP said and I find the described situation to be very disturbing and unfair to the child.
And that's what I am trying to get across. We don't really know the whole story. Is it not possible the kid is feeling all sorts of shame, because other people are? Is it possible Okie and Red are throwing their shame onto the kid? Perhaps the child was okay with it, until someone said - Whoahhh wait a minute - are you okay with this? LIGHT BULB?

Children are pretty remarkable and understanding. They are more open than most adults. It is when adults start putting their shit onto them, that issues tend to arise.

I still believe, we are hearing a little bit of something and not the whole story. Should the Mother know what is going on? Absolutely - as much as I wanted to know what was going on in the house of my kids father. Actually, I knew everything - but then again -- I made sure I knew. That is my responsibility as a parent. To parent and always know my kids are safe. Where is Mom? And why doesn't she know? Perhaps she is not so proactive! Perhaps the child doesn't trust her enough to discuss.

HELLO?
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Old 07-04-2011, 02:09 PM   #53
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Why the focus on whether this 12-year-old kid is gay or straight? What does that have to do with anything? This seems to be more a question of children, parents, and kinks.

Personally, I see a HUGE difference between being a kinky parent and being a queer parent. Queer parents can be as private as straight parents about their sexual/intimate lives. (It's really homophobes that over-focus on what queers do in bed, and sexualize queers all the time.)

Parents with kinks may be queer OR straight, (this particular couple sounds straight-identified), so the question really seems to be one of whether or not and how much to expose children to their parents sexual/erotic kinks.

I think of kink as erotic power-exchange, and that is not something I would choose to share with my child. Others may feel differently, but in my opinion this father is forcing his child to be a voyeur, and that violates boundaries of consent.

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Old 07-04-2011, 02:09 PM   #54
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Originally Posted by The_Lady_Snow View Post
I'm going to assume that most of you feel I'm fucking up my kids because I have slaves who when collared have a lock and chain proudlyaround their necks. I assure you my children have never been abused by my hand and are highly evolved caring human beings. They've also been around leather clad men and women and have Leather men as God parents.
Nearly every day I read about a child being kept in a cage, starved, beaten, forced to have sex, killed, on and on....

What you have stated is in no way abuse and I do not see abuse of the OP's nephew based on the information provided. Lack of consideration and open communication, yes, but not abuse.

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Old 07-04-2011, 02:13 PM   #55
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I don't need to know anything more than the child is uncomfortable. Full stop. What the adults do is not my concern. The OP said the kid is uncomfortable around the adult behavior. The kids mom needs to know, what she does with the information is up to her as his custodial parent. If the kid needs more support from his family, he should by all means get it. When the kid reaches adulthood, he can decide for himself. Simple respect all the way around.
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Old 07-04-2011, 02:19 PM   #56
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Originally Posted by Corkey View Post
I don't need to know anything more than the child is uncomfortable. Full stop. What the adults do is not my concern. The OP said the kid is uncomfortable around the adult behavior. The kids mom needs to know, what she does with the information is up to her as his custodial parent. If the kid needs more support from his family, he should by all means get it. When the kid reaches adulthood, he can decide for himself. Simple respect all the way around.


In that case INSTEAD of coming in and starting a thread the OP should of taken this to the unknowing parent (custodial Mom), that would of made more sense since the concern is about a distraught child. I'm STILL confused why that was not the OP's FIRST step taken.
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Old 07-04-2011, 02:20 PM   #57
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In that case INSTEAD of coming in and starting a thread the OP should of taken this to the unknowing parent (custodial Mom), that would of made more sense since the concern is about a distraught child. I'm STILL confused why that was not the OP's FIRST step taken.
Totally agree with you.
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Old 07-04-2011, 02:21 PM   #58
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Hey, Okie,
Did you get the nephew's father's consent before you posted details about this situation on a public forum?

If not, I'm wondering why we're discussing an underage child's family's business?
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Old 07-04-2011, 02:21 PM   #59
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Originally Posted by The_Lady_Snow View Post
In that case INSTEAD of coming in and starting a thread the OP should of taken this to the unknowing parent (custodial Mom), that would of made more sense since the concern is about a distraught child. I'm STILL confused why that was not the OP's FIRST step taken.
It sounds to me like Okie is looking for some advice about what to do, before taking action.

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My question is how would any of you handle this situation?
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Old 07-04-2011, 02:21 PM   #60
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Hey, Okie,
Did you get the nephew's father's consent before you posted details about this situation on a public forum?

If not, I'm wondering why we're discussing an underage child's family's business?
And there you have it!
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