How Do You Self-Identify...and why.

[SelfMadeMan]

I am...

A transexual man

A husband

A lover

A Bonus Dad

A Student

A Queer

An Activist

A Feminist

A Brother

A Harley enthusiast

A Tattoo Freak

A Planeteer

[oblivia]

I identify as a few things...

Queer Femme - this is my primary identifier within GLBTQ & Friends community. I like Queer.... for many of the same reasons others have stated. I love that it holds so much space for other identities, and feels more unified than other terms (to me). Femme is so important to me - and i never claim myself as Queer (or Lesbian) without adding "Femme" to it. That title is like a badge of honour for me.... it took me years to discover it, and once I did - I was NEVER letting it go. My tattoo has "Queer Femme" integrated into it.

Lesbian - I never used to use this label for myself but I am much more comfortable with it now and use it sometimes, particularly if I feel like it gets the idea across simpler with a particular person or group of people.

Little Girl - For those who get it - it's self explanatory. And for those who may not right away, I call this my "inner five year old". But really, this IS a huge part of my identity. I have a little side that I let out a LOT among people I trust - when I feel safe - and it's not so much about playing young, as it is literally letting myself squeal with joy and clap my hands when I want to. Letting my eyes go super wide and my mouth gape when I'm surprised in a good way.... bouncing up and down... tugging on Sparx's sleeve when I want her attention because I just HAVE TO SHOW HER SOMETHING RIGHT NOW. LOL It's just a huge part of me. She gets it. The man-children get it. My closest friends get it. It's just me.

[xxzalciaiomenxx]

I identify as a dyke...most of the time...why...because I like the word, it fits who I am, in personality and appearance.

There are times I view myself as genderqueer because I don't feel like either a man nor a woman at times.

There are also instances that I view myself as genderfluid, depending on my mood I can feel incredibly masculine or feminine, and I can move between these two very easily, sometimes I feel as if I am both at once....

I'm very complicated, all depending on my mood, the environment surrounding me, and the company I am in.

[Jett]

[Hack]

I am a work in progress. I am very, very queer. I am a butch. I am stone. I am male-identified and live my life as such. I will try to tell you I am just a simple guy, but I appreciate women who get that I am complex and like that I am.

[Massive]

I'm a masculine identified Butch, an out and proud Dyke, who is also a Brother to many, a Daddy to the right one, a Mentor and a Friend.
I also consider myself to be GenderQueer, because I mostly pass as a man in public, I'm more shocked when I get called "Miss", when I get called Sir I don't even blink any more, I've been called Sir now since my late teens.
Part of my ID also stems from my nationality, I'm British, but I'm from the North of England, and it's an integral part of who I am. Being from here is my history, it's my blood, my roots stem from here...
I'm proud of being Queer, just as I'm proud of being a Northerner!
I ID all these ways, because just one label isn't enough, if they're even labels really, I don't think "okay, today I'm going to be Butch, etc" I'm this way even in my sleep, I can't be anything else but who I am. I happen to love myself for being the way I am. In the future my ID may change again, as it has been my entire life, because as far as I'm concerned gender identification is fluid, we grow and learn and see things differently the more we experience, it's self-defeating to get stuck and not move with the path we're led on in life.

[Quintease]

I had to look through this to see if I'd answered before, only it doesn't appear that I have.

I am female
I am difficult
I am lesbian
I am femme(ish)
I am sometimes pseudo-heterosexual
I am always wife
I am a warm climate girl
I am hopefully a mother one day
I am someone who hangs out on online forums rather than real life
I am all the different types of me

[foxyshaman]

The more I look inside, the more deeply I fall into and out of who I am.

I can no more separate my spiritual calling from my physical appearance then...well I don't really know what to compare it to because I don't remember not having a calling. Ever.

I am very female on the outside, but it took me years to find my feminine. I had always been in relationships where I took the more masculine role, I am actively aware and use the animus parts of my personality easily. The anima is an integral part of my exterior healer. My interior shaman is male, so very very male; not just animus.

As a Northerner, first generation Canadian, I draw heavily on my ancestral practice of seidhr. Seidhr has been historically considered to be "evil magic" because it could be used to alter men's minds and thoughts - I have often read the term "turn the world upside down". This might be a reference to an earthquake (which would be pretty serious magic) or to changing someone's perceptions so drastically via this mind-altering magic that their world might as well be turned upside down. The phrase strikes me so strongly because that's exactly what third gender people do. By our very nature, we turn the world upside down. We are living, walking catalysts, and this is the first mystery of our existence. We turn everything that people think they know about gender - that supposedly safe ground beneath their feet - upside down. We change worlds.

There are "out in the world" third gender persons. There are also, in the other worlds, third gender persons. I will continue to draw attention to the latter for as long as I draw breath. Sexual identity is fluid, gender identity is not simply an outward appearance. Shamanism is a deep and complicated practice. Complicated further by being a feminie dyke with a male shaman interior.

Related yet unrelated, many people I know are very afraid, or leery of doing head stands. Makes sense to me, how many of us like to turn our world upside down... and then stay in that position without falling right side up.

[starryeyes]

1. Femme Lesbian
2. Interpreter
3. Twin
4. Handful

:-D

[Honey]

Gender queer femme with a wicked mind and a voracious appetite

[1ladyface]

Kinky
Queer
Femme
Feminist
Friend
Lover
Sister
Daughter
Sex worker
Dog mom

[Morgan]

I'm a
Different type of Butch, nothing is typical about who I am or how I identify, I am my own person......I will never conform to anyone's definition of how I should be or act.

[*Anya*]

Woman/Female by birth and this has always felt completely gender-congruent for me

Lesbian femme, because I am sexually, emotionally and intellectually attracted to female-bodied butches

Feminist, because I believe that all of us, by virtue of being human, deserve equality as a moral and legal right

[Toughy]

How do I self identify?

sometimes I am so tired of this 'I identify as ________'

Corkey says all the time..............I am a human being

I am is the most important thing. Be careful what you say after the 'I am' part......cuz your brain really believes it without any filter.

I am power-less blah blah blah blah................well I am powerless because I claim powerless.......why you claim that is not important

I am powerful blah blah blah blah........well I claim power because I am powerful.......

I am are the 2 most powerful words for the conscious and subconscious brain

I am because I am

[AtLast]

Originally Posted by Toughy

How do I self identify?

sometimes I am so tired of this 'I identify as ________'

Corkey says all the time..............I am a human being

I am is the most important thing. Be careful what you say after the 'I am' part......cuz your brain really believes it without any filter.

I am power-less blah blah blah blah................well I am powerless because I claim powerless.......why you claim that is not important

I am powerful blah blah blah blah........well I claim power because I am powerful.......

I am are the 2 most powerful words for the conscious and subconscious brain

I am because I am

Agreed!

I am so many things in terms of self-identification- no way can I put myself into one "identity"! Why would I even want to do this? I don't live my life as one, single characteristic of self-identification. That would mean I woud stagnate and have but one dimension.

Also, I always feel this question is gender directed and I don't view being a woman as uni-dimensional either.

[Kobi]

More than ever, I choose to use the label lesbian. To me, that defines the essence of everything that I am.

To me, this gives me the freedom to see myself as an individual entity rather than as existing in relation to something else. And this, in and of itself, gives me the freedom to expand all that I am capable of being and doing.

[JAGG]

For me, I've learned the best way to reply to this question is, I'm just me. Because when you say Satan it seems to really scare people.

[adorable]

I too am tired of this “I identify as________.” Yet, without it, I am unable to find the missing piece to the puzzle. I am a human being. Almost all of us in here are. However, I don’t want to spend my days and nights with just any human being. Otherwise, I could have stayed with the human beings I was previously with and just been happy they were human.

Some of us are tired of being a disappointment to people. To be loved and accepted is a very human need. It hurts when someone that you love looks at you and wishes you were someone or something else. The question of who I am is an important one to me. I prefer to partner with like minded others. Love is a verb. If I can’t love someone the way they need me to or they can’t love me the way that I need – how can it work? There must be a starting point. The older I get the less tolerance I have for experiments.


The core of who I am is just that, my core. My ID is very much a part of that core. When I look back I can say that my ID hasn’t really changed, it was my vocabulary and ability to explain it that did. As human beings we tend to see others in our reflection. On the whole, we tend to give people the benefit of the doubt, allowing ourselves to remain in the blissful ignorance of thinking that everyone is basically like us. It keeps the murder rate down. The downside to that is that we can easily erase who other people are by seeing them as we are. The worst case scenario is that you end up in a relationship with someone, who one day turns to you, and says, “You would be perfect if…”

That communication of basics, that ability to say “I identify as ______” makes it more likely to fill the empty box marked “potential love match.” How anyone in the “friend” box IDs doesn’t matter to me. I want to look at someone who gives me butterflies and to say “I am ______and actually be able to fill in that the blank for them and then say to them “And who are you?” If they answer me like Popeye and say “I am what I am, take it or leave it” – well, today I’m smart enough to leave it. Sometimes that answer is the result of not knowing, other times it’s an unwillingness to be honest – either way, for me, it’s a set up that leads to disaster.

This thread (and others like it) are an important (I think) for so many reasons. There is hope here for the people who are looking for their missing piece and can answer the question of who they are and how they ID. Hope is important. I think meaningful love is important too. Without these answers, we are all just pictures in other people’s imaginations with put upon expectations of who they think we are or who they want us to be in relation to themselves. Until the questions are answered, who we actually are remains a mystery. While there is beauty and excitement to be found in mystery, there can be equal heartache and despair. It’s a unique pain that comes from falling in love with everything about a person before you know their ID or what it means to them. Talking fast about everything you have in common and thinking they are so wonderfulandjustsoperfectandhowdidIeverlivewithout youandomgmetoo!!

Only to find out, that, while it is entirely possible, because you are both human, to physically have a sexual relationship, they need things that you simply don’t want to do and worse, if you do them it changes how you feel. The relational dynamic falls flat. It’s not about acceptance or lack of acceptance. It’s more like a religion that you practice, one that’s important to you. Some relationships can work around it, but for most people they wouldn’t even bother to start with upfront knowledge. To continue with that relationship generally leads to a sense of longing, and to a worse loneliness than actually being alone. Ultimately, it leads to either being a disappointment or to being disappointed.

There are questions to be answered when getting to know someone. (Lots of them.) The ID, IMO, is a starting point and from that place we can begin to see where and if we fit together. Going backwards from everything else about a person to their ID is dangerous. (For me anyway.)

I wish more people would say “I identify as______” and this is what that means to me ______. Followed by, what I am looking for is someone who is_________________. (And actually be honest about it – don’t just say what you think someone wants to hear out of some twisted insecurity.) Most of us spend more time putting our grocery lists together for the week then we do on finding a real connection. It can be tough to navigate especially in forums because to say you don’t like something that someone else does (or if you use the wrong word when trying to explain it all) can require a PhD in verbal kickboxing that few of us have. The exhaustion of having to explain why we are who we are or why we feel like we do or why we like what we like is difficult enough one on one, much less in a virtual room full of people who only know their own paths to here.

[Heart]

woman trapped in a woman's body....

Happy New Year Planet!

[genghisfawn]

Femme: a careful smile, a firm handshake, a raucous giggle, a penchant for lipstick, a tendency to twirl, an adoration of beauty, a deploration of invisibility.

Old-fashioned: gemeinschaft versus geselleschaft.

Kinky: as hell.