10-29-2010, 01:03 PM | #1 |
Infamous Member
How Do You Identify?:
Transguy Preferred Pronoun?:
He Relationship Status:
single Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Central West Coast of Florida
Posts: 5,204
Thanks: 34,866
Thanked 17,793 Times in 3,939 Posts
Rep Power: 21474855 |
Risen Child
Risen Child How good it must feel to you to lay on those cool clean sheets you sleep on every night. The warmth against your skin, your conscious cleared…now that you have forgiven yourself for the terrible abuse you handed down to five children. I wonder why my pain feels so real, and why my life seems so out of control. Why do I hide from the darkness even while the sun is shining brightly? None of this should be happening, right? After all, you have forgiven yourself. You tell people about your five kids and how we all hate you, and how bad your life is because of us. I wonder why you never tell them the reasons why we all five feel the way we do about you. Would they ponder how you were able to forgive yourself? I know I do. For years, I thought that time would pass and so would you. Then, perhaps we could all be close…something you have always tried to keep from happening. That dream was shattered earlier this year while the air was still cool with spring when my brother, Joe, left this earth with a broken spirit; a spirit that you broke. Have you managed to forgive yourself for this too? Single-handedly, you stole the childhood of five precious children, instilling us all with fear, pain, and self-doubt. You beat us all down, and then laughed at us for being broken. You then have the audacity to demand that we forgive you, while you shout that we have ruined your life. As usual, you ask for far too much…forgiveness comes with a price…a price you have not paid. So go ahead, forgive yourself while you lay there on your precious bed of denial. As for forgiveness, I shall direct it at self where it is appreciated. I forgive myself for trusting you and looking up to you as a child. I forgive myself for treating me in the ways you taught me to treat myself. I forgive myself for spending nearly 40 years of my life trying to forgive a person who has abused me for the entirety of those four decades. I sleep very well now on my bed of acceptance and peace. Oh and just so you know, I am not broken and worthless. I am a person who has carved my way out of the hell you built for your children. I am strong and intelligent. I have learned to be my own potter, with my own damn wheel and you cannot touch my clay. I sleep very well now on my bed of acceptance and peace. No, I am not selfish and uncaring and I do believe in forgiveness. I believe forgiveness should go to those who open their hearts and minds, those who actively and responsibly correct their wrong doings. Forgiveness is a waste on those who insist on harming the spirits and lives of others. I have no worries now, but if you ever find yourself concerned about me, just know… I sleep very well now on my bed of acceptance and peace. Jesse Reichart © 2010
__________________
“You’re so hard on yourself. Take a moment. Sit back. Marvel at your life: at the grief that softened you, at the heartache that widened you, at the suffering that strengthened you. Despite everything, you still grow. Be proud of this.”
|
The Following 11 Users Say Thank You to Jesse For This Useful Post: |
10-29-2010, 01:57 PM | #2 |
Infamous Member
How Do You Identify?:
Human Preferred Pronoun?:
He Relationship Status:
Very Married Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Where I want to be
Posts: 8,155
Thanks: 47,491
Thanked 29,299 Times in 6,640 Posts
Rep Power: 21474859 |
Power to you my Friend!
__________________
"Many proposals have been made to us to adopt your laws, your religion, your manners and your customs. We would be better pleased with beholding the good effects of these doctrines in your own practices, than with hearing you talk about them".
~Old Tassel, Chief of the Tsalagi (Cherokee) |
The Following User Says Thank You to Corkey For This Useful Post: |
10-29-2010, 02:25 PM | #3 |
Senior Member
How Do You Identify?:
Femme Relationship Status:
I need ya boo, gotta see ya boo Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Big Money Texas
Posts: 4,708
Thanks: 24,309
Thanked 13,088 Times in 3,051 Posts
Rep Power: 21474855 |
|
The Following User Says Thank You to PinkieLee For This Useful Post: |
10-29-2010, 06:00 PM | #4 |
Practically Lives Here
How Do You Identify?:
Queer Stone Femme Girl of the Unicorn Variety Preferred Pronoun?:
She, as in 'She's a GEM' Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: The roads are narrow here
Posts: 36,587
Thanks: 182,179
Thanked 108,769 Times in 25,658 Posts
Rep Power: 21474887 |
From the ashes, yes? Excellent writing, Jesse.
|
The Following User Says Thank You to Gemme For This Useful Post: |
11-16-2010, 12:00 AM | #5 |
Member
How Do You Identify?:
An Unwitting Thread Derailer! Preferred Pronoun?:
She, femme through and through Relationship Status:
She is my soul. Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: In a lil sparkle of fairydust
Posts: 1,026
Thanks: 6,890
Thanked 2,362 Times in 697 Posts
Rep Power: 21474851 |
It is amazing to find such beauty in such an honest and deep writing. I appreciate the courage, the strength, the very will that you possess. Thank you for writing this. Thank you even more for sharing this.
|
11-16-2010, 01:13 AM | #6 |
Infamous Member
How Do You Identify?:
Transguy Preferred Pronoun?:
He Relationship Status:
single Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Central West Coast of Florida
Posts: 5,204
Thanks: 34,866
Thanked 17,793 Times in 3,939 Posts
Rep Power: 21474855 |
Plastic people
Here and there No one’s home The soul is bare Wooden friends Splinter with stress Tis fakery In which they dress Sugary sorts With flowery lips Promised hearts Of lying hips Beware the void It’s in the eyes Seek the soul Barren of lies Jesse Reichart ©2008
__________________
“You’re so hard on yourself. Take a moment. Sit back. Marvel at your life: at the grief that softened you, at the heartache that widened you, at the suffering that strengthened you. Despite everything, you still grow. Be proud of this.”
|
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Jesse For This Useful Post: |
|
|