Important things I learned from past relationships - Page 11

DJ Bear · 04-26-2013, 06:24 PM

I learned that if there is no communication the relationship is lost.
Also, when the sex stops, run, don't look back just run like hell.

VuDu · 04-26-2013, 07:09 PM

That I should be just as important on that last day as I was on the first day.

SugarFemme · 05-02-2013, 11:20 PM

I have learned that love is not enough glue to hold a relationship together. I have learned that unless I love myself, no one else will love me the way I want to be loved. I have learned that I am worthy of love, and that I have a lot more value as a human being than I gave myself credit for. I have learned to listen to that infallible "voice" in my gut. It has never lied to me, and wants only the best for me. The biggest thing I have learned is that doing the same thing and expecting different results is the crazy-making stuff that made me put my life on hold for too long.

always2late · 05-02-2013, 11:28 PM

I'm not sure if I posted this already, but it bears repeating. If someone tells you that you are too good for them....BELIEVE THEM!

Sweet Bliss · 05-03-2013, 12:00 AM

Listen more than you talk

Observe their living quarters closely it speaks volumes about how they are n what they value

Pay attention to how they treat others (friend and stranger alike) soon you will receive the same treatment.

s0litude · 05-03-2013, 01:41 AM

No amount of gorgeous is worth a lifetime of bat-shit crazy. :-D
Never go into a relationship trying to change or fix someone OR allow yourself to become someone you're not. It never works. Seriously, if you feel the need to teach me how to iron, load the dishwasher, how you like your towels folded, fine... whatever. But me as a person, leave it alone. I'm not expecting you to change for me; I will not change for you. At the core, there has to be mutual respect.
Finances: HER money, YOUR money, OUR joint expenditures (budgeting). Seriously. It's just easier and less frustrating over time.
You can have a friendship after a break-up. If you were both honourable in your relations, then it is possible AFTER the pain and hurt subside and if you BOTH want it.

~ocean · 05-03-2013, 04:41 AM

Always be yourself ~

Girl_On_Fire · 05-03-2013, 11:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ~ocean

Always be yourself ~

And if you feel forced to be anything else in the relationship, run. If you cannot be your authentic self around your partner, you should not be together.

VintageFemme · 05-03-2013, 11:09 PM

Just be kind. In the end, it's all that really matters.

Nat · 05-04-2013, 01:17 AM

I don't know who wrote this and I'm google-lazy, but I think this sums it up:

You will carry this suture
Into the future
The past never passes
It simply amasses.

---------------

Also - there is probably no escape - you will likely see them again forever if you live in the same town. I dated a woman briefly back in 2005, and I still run into her. Thankfully, we get along great now, but there was a good year where it was pretty awkward.

StrongButch · 05-04-2013, 05:36 AM

I learned many positive things: How wonderful it feels to open your eyes and see her smiling face. How to say im sorry. To laugh together as well as cry. To listen and show compassion. To never have any regrets. How to give my heart to another. And after all is said and done remember the good times. Walk away with a smile as well as tears in your eyes. A broken heart does come back to life!

~ocean · 05-04-2013, 10:48 PM

I learned a long time ago there are more sad songs (esp ctry & west.) than their are tears ~~~

))))) ~~~

Cailin · 05-04-2013, 10:54 PM

I learned, that I need to date a mind reader.

Glenn · 05-05-2013, 12:19 AM

I learned that all that bullshit is true.
Find a good one and hold on.

s0litude · 05-05-2013, 03:07 AM

Some people are in love with the IDEA of being in love. They'd rather be with ANYONE (you aren't special) than be alone. Learn to spot them, to observe, so you can "dodge the bullet" and save yourself a world of hurt later. If you make an error on this "type", misjudge things, they will go on to the next person who pays them some attention while you're left reeling, wondering WTF happened.

Learn to spot CRAZY.
Run like hell.

wahya · 05-21-2013, 09:23 PM

Like Bonnie Raitt's song..I Can't Make You Love Me. it's true..You can't. Long hard lesson learned.

chris1life · 05-23-2013, 07:49 AM

I learned that when someone starts a conversation with "you know I really love you but..."don't let the finish the sentence pack their shit up and put it on the porch and change the locks. Another lesson is you never really know what's going on in someone else's head

~baby~doll~ · 05-23-2013, 07:55 AM

i have learned if it is not working well let it go with no regret or heartbreak because it will become more painful. i have learned not to allow my emotional attachment to dictate truth. hen it is over it is over.

kittygrrl · 05-23-2013, 05:16 PM

A leopard doesn't change his spots just his excuses.

Semantics · 05-23-2013, 06:02 PM

Don't let people try and tell you who you are.

I've been out of the dating scene for quite some time, but this one stuck.

04-26-2013, 06:24 PM	#201
DJ Bear Member How Do You Identify?: Daddy, Papa, just Me Preferred Pronoun?: he, him, sir, bro, hey you Relationship Status: Married to library_girl Join Date: Feb 2013 Location: Nevada with my baby girl Posts: 144 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 404 Thanked 553 Times in 138 Posts Rep Power: 8324585	I learned that if there is no communication the relationship is lost. Also, when the sex stops, run, don't look back just run like hell. __________________ “Named must your fear be before banish it you can.” Yoda

04-26-2013, 07:09 PM	#202
VuDu Member How Do You Identify?: Femme with a Wicked Twist Preferred Pronoun?: Trouble Maker Relationship Status: My heart is my own Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: Between the cemetary and the reservoir Posts: 248 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 174 Thanked 208 Times in 92 Posts Rep Power: 1021101	That I should be just as important on that last day as I was on the first day. __________________ You don't always get answers for what happens - because sometimes the answers were not for you, they were lessons for someone else.

05-02-2013, 11:28 PM	#204
always2late Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: m'lady Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: NJ Posts: 2,000 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,834 Thanked 6,231 Times in 1,462 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	I'm not sure if I posted this already, but it bears repeating. If someone tells you that you are too good for them....BELIEVE THEM! __________________ Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing there is a field. I'll meet you there ~ Rumi

05-03-2013, 01:41 AM	#206
s0litude Member How Do You Identify?: Transman - HRT / No Surgery Preferred Pronoun?: Male Relationship Status: Single, but enjoying the journey.... Join Date: Mar 2013 Location: North Carolina (NE) Posts: 366 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 525 Thanked 1,210 Times in 310 Posts Rep Power: 21474848	Nursing my wounds.... No amount of gorgeous is worth a lifetime of bat-shit crazy. :-D Never go into a relationship trying to change or fix someone OR allow yourself to become someone you're not. It never works. Seriously, if you feel the need to teach me how to iron, load the dishwasher, how you like your towels folded, fine... whatever. But me as a person, leave it alone. I'm not expecting you to change for me; I will not change for you. At the core, there has to be mutual respect. Finances: HER money, YOUR money, OUR joint expenditures (budgeting). Seriously. It's just easier and less frustrating over time. You can have a friendship after a break-up. If you were both honourable in your relations, then it is possible AFTER the pain and hurt subside and if you BOTH want it. __________________ "There never was any heart truly great and generous, that was not also tender and compassionate." Robert Frost

05-03-2013, 04:41 AM	#207
~ocean Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: femme blows a kiss off my finger tips * Preferred Pronoun?: ~ hey girl ~ Relationship Status: ~ single & content ~ Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Massachusetts ~coastal Posts: 7,905 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 22,958 Thanked 16,124 Times in 4,736 Posts Rep Power: 21474858	Always be yourself ~ __________________ ~ Always, ocean

05-02-2013, 11:20 PM	#203
SugarFemme Member How Do You Identify?: Fierce Femme Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: Singular Join Date: Oct 2011 Location: Southwest Posts: 1,029 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 650 Thanked 4,463 Times in 854 Posts Rep Power*: 21474850	I have learned that love is not enough glue to hold a relationship together. I have learned that unless I love myself, no one else will love me the way I want to be loved. I have learned that I am worthy of love, and that I have a lot more value as a human being than I gave myself credit for. I have learned to listen to that infallible "voice" in my gut. It has never lied to me, and wants only the best for me. The biggest thing I have learned is that doing the same thing and expecting different results is the crazy-making stuff that made me put my life on hold for too long.

05-03-2013, 12:00 AM	#205
Sweet Bliss Senior Member How Do You Identify?: I Am Preferred Pronoun?: she Relationship Status: solo Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: the Beach, Pacific side Posts: 4,160 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 5,354 Thanked 7,264 Times in 2,158 Posts Rep Power: 21474855	Listen more than you talk Observe their living quarters closely it speaks volumes about how they are n what they value Pay attention to how they treat others (friend and stranger alike) soon you will receive the same treatment.

05-03-2013, 11:09 PM	#209
VintageFemme Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Relationship Status: Single Join Date: Jul 2011 Location: Outside Posts: 2,299 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,828 Thanked 7,640 Times in 1,657 Posts Rep Power: 21474851	Just be kind. In the end, it's all that really matters. __________________ Unfinished Business & Open to Serendipity

05-04-2013, 01:17 AM	#210
Nat Senior Member How Do You Identify?: bigender Preferred Pronoun?: whatevs Relationship Status: in a relationship Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: Tx Posts: 3,535 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 11,042 Thanked 13,992 Times in 2,595 Posts Rep Power: 21474854	I don't know who wrote this and I'm google-lazy, but I think this sums it up: You will carry this suture Into the future The past never passes It simply amasses. --------------- Also - there is probably no escape - you will likely see them again forever if you live in the same town. I dated a woman briefly back in 2005, and I still run into her. Thankfully, we get along great now, but there was a good year where it was pretty awkward. __________________ I'm a fountain of blood. In the shape of a girl. - Bjork What is to give light must endure burning. -Viktor Frankl

05-04-2013, 05:36 AM	#211
StrongButch Member How Do You Identify?: I see the world thru a lens Preferred Pronoun?: Yes Boss Relationship Status: Chillin out with awesome women Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: San Francisco Posts: 1,376 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 4,018 Thanked 4,185 Times in 1,179 Posts Rep Power: 21474852	Lesson I learned many positive things: How wonderful it feels to open your eyes and see her smiling face. How to say im sorry. To laugh together as well as cry. To listen and show compassion. To never have any regrets. How to give my heart to another. And after all is said and done remember the good times. Walk away with a smile as well as tears in your eyes. A broken heart does come back to life! __________________ Life is like music,so it can be played in many different styles.

05-04-2013, 10:48 PM	#212
~ocean Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: femme blows a kiss off my finger tips * Preferred Pronoun?: ~ hey girl ~ Relationship Status: ~ single & content ~ Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Massachusetts ~coastal Posts: 7,905 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 22,958 Thanked 16,124 Times in 4,736 Posts Rep Power: 21474858	I learned a long time ago there are more sad songs (esp ctry & west.) than their are tears ~~~ ))))) ~~~ __________________ ~ Always, ocean

05-04-2013, 10:54 PM	#213
Cailin Member How Do You Identify?: Female.. and it's pronounced "cah-leen", not cay-lin Preferred Pronoun?: You Relationship Status: In one Join Date: Feb 2012 Location: Texas Posts: 872 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 979 Thanked 2,630 Times in 739 Posts Rep Power: 15791748	I learned, that I need to date a mind reader. __________________ De reir a cheile a thogtar na caisleain

05-05-2013, 12:19 AM	#214
Glenn Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Northwest Wind and Lake Michigan Preferred Pronoun?: Paesano Relationship Status: Solo Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Indiana Dunes National Lakeshore Posts: 1,546 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,597 Thanked 3,732 Times in 1,096 Posts Rep Power: 21474852	I learned that all that bullshit is true. Find a good one and hold on.

05-05-2013, 03:07 AM	#215
s0litude Member How Do You Identify?: Transman - HRT / No Surgery Preferred Pronoun?: Male Relationship Status: Single, but enjoying the journey.... Join Date: Mar 2013 Location: North Carolina (NE) Posts: 366 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 525 Thanked 1,210 Times in 310 Posts Rep Power: 21474848	Crazy-Spotting Some people are in love with the IDEA of being in love. They'd rather be with ANYONE (you aren't special) than be alone. Learn to spot them, to observe, so you can "dodge the bullet" and save yourself a world of hurt later. If you make an error on this "type", misjudge things, they will go on to the next person who pays them some attention while you're left reeling, wondering WTF happened. Learn to spot CRAZY. Run like hell. __________________ "There never was any heart truly great and generous, that was not also tender and compassionate." Robert Frost

05-21-2013, 09:23 PM	#216
wahya Timed Out How Do You Identify?: Me Preferred Pronoun?: Me Relationship Status: im good Join Date: Mar 2013 Location: Massachusetts Posts: 296 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 506 Thanked 857 Times in 240 Posts Rep Power: 0	Like Bonnie Raitt's song..I Can't Make You Love Me. it's true..You can't. Long hard lesson learned.

05-23-2013, 07:49 AM	#217
chris1life Junior Member How Do You Identify?: butch Preferred Pronoun?: she, her, syr, he Join Date: May 2013 Location: US Posts: 84 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 90 Thanked 276 Times in 66 Posts Rep Power: 2169071	I learned that when someone starts a conversation with "you know I really love you but..."don't let the finish the sentence pack their shit up and put it on the porch and change the locks. Another lesson is you never really know what's going on in someone else's head

05-23-2013, 07:55 AM	#218
~baby~doll~ Member How Do You Identify?: femme-bottom, lesbian, queer Preferred Pronoun?: feminine ones Relationship Status: Leather polyamorous family Join Date: Apr 2013 Location: with HER Posts: 1,110 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 5,494 Thanked 2,855 Times in 905 Posts Rep Power: 21474849	i have learned if it is not working well let it go with no regret or heartbreak because it will become more painful. i have learned not to allow my emotional attachment to dictate truth. hen it is over it is over. __________________ i will wait to love You. i will wait another day For You i'd leave all this behind. i will wait for you tonight. iwill waste another dream on You Always run to You. Uh Huh Her

05-23-2013, 05:16 PM	#219
kittygrrl Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: je ne sais quoi Preferred Pronoun?: baby grrl Relationship Status: vibing Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: real close Posts: 8,805 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 21,382 Thanked 21,373 Times in 6,723 Posts Rep Power: 21474859	A leopard doesn't change his spots just his excuses. __________________ "All cruelty springs from weakness" Seneca

05-23-2013, 06:02 PM	#220
Semantics Senior Member How Do You Identify?: malapropist Preferred Pronoun?: she Relationship Status: single Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: New England Posts: 2,169 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 6,367 Thanked 4,024 Times in 1,209 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	Don't let people try and tell you who you are. I've been out of the dating scene for quite some time, but this one stuck.