07-03-2011, 04:50 PM | #21 |
Mentally Delicious
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My little sister got into a bad habit of flipping the bird when she was 3 years old. (It wasnt me! I had brothers!!)
Well, imagine all of our horror when she flipped the bird to our youth minister at church one Sunday! My step-mom was in the hospital at the time with a severe issue and had already been gone for about a month and was scheduled to be gone for another few weeks so my step-sister and I devised a plan to get baby sis to stop flipping the bird before the step-mom got home from the hospital. Step-sister and I would "play fight" with one another and instead of flipping each other the bird, we would put our index finger and thumb together in an "ok" sign and then hiss and "Ooooooooh" at one another as if it was the WORST thing that could ever happen in the history of humankind! Eventually, baby sis caught on that the "ok" sign was so much worse than flipping the bird that she started making the "ok" sign instead of the bird whenever she was mad. So basically she thought she was doing something really bad and commenced giving the "ok" sign to anyone who would look. This went on for a few years and people would often look at her like she was nuts but at least there were no explanations required about why a 3-year-old was flipping the bird. Don't know if that counts as a lie but it sure worked
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07-03-2011, 05:06 PM | #22 | |
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This was going along in the pretty standard teenage way until... you told them you were married and your husband was in Vietnam??? You may not lie much, but you make up for it in audacity!
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07-03-2011, 05:09 PM | #23 | |
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Oh, it counts. Have you told her about it? I assume she doesn't remember.... On the other hand, she's not out there still "flipping the OK" at other drivers, right?
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07-03-2011, 05:46 PM | #24 |
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07-03-2011, 06:16 PM | #25 |
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i have a little chunk nicked out of the back of my head - i've told my nieces and nephews that when i was their age i did not keep my room clean and as a result rats nibbled on my head while i slept - maybe i'll try raccoon with the new wee one
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07-03-2011, 06:53 PM | #26 |
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In high school, my friend got a new (to her) Camaro with a scoop on the hood. We ditched school one day and took the car out for a spin. We ended up at the lake and I decided to ride on the hood of her car.
She had just waxed it. We were tooling along down a gravel road to the lake when she and my other friend decided it would be funny to scare me and hit the gas a bit. Welllllllllllll...........Instead of hitting the gas she accidentally hit the brakes instead and I went sailing off the car onto the gravel road. I landed knee first and crushed my kneecap. Fast forward to the emergency room when my mother came in and we told her I did it playing volleyball in PE. She believed it until the day she died!
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07-03-2011, 07:22 PM | #27 |
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Let me see.... I told a few exes it was me when I was really breaking up because of them....
I told my mother someone hit her car in the grocery store parking lot so my little brother didn't get yelled at, forever, over a small scrap from a wall. I have told many people yes, that looks good or fine on you. I lied once to a waterbed salesman so I could get a new heater for free. Not a good excuse but I was a poor single mother at the time and the bed was really cold without a working heater. Andrea
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07-03-2011, 07:29 PM | #28 |
MILLION $$$ PUSSY
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I told the Mormons knocking on my door I worshiped Beelzebub and hissed so they would leave me alone....
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07-03-2011, 07:37 PM | #29 | |
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Okay, but did you tell them any lies? <<JUST kidding, heh. Heh.>>
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07-03-2011, 07:58 PM | #30 | |
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I told them a red light would come on over their heads if they were lying and that only grown ups could see the light. I also told them I had magic powers and was a fairy before I decided to be a human and have kids (but that I kept some powers). Now, for lies to strangers? When travelling, I would tell people that I was originally born in and grew up just outside of London and I did not have an accent b/c my parents moved back home to the States when I was 8 years old.
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07-03-2011, 09:01 PM | #31 |
MILLION $$$ PUSSY
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I've lied and said I was American just so I would not have to hear all kinds of ignorant questions about how I came to be here...
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07-03-2011, 10:06 PM | #32 |
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Oh, the lies, where to start?
In my younger days, when my mom first saw the tattoo on my upper arm of a battle ax and gasped, I yelled out, "It's a temporary tattoo! It comes off!" It gave her some adjustment time, so that after a few months went by, she looked at it and said with a smirk, "That temporary tattoo sure is staying around for quite awhile." In high school, my gay brother and I, along with a few misfit friends, set out to vandalize a giant pro-life billboard in Ohio. We all dressed in black (so smart of us) and set off with a big plastic gun filled with paint. The problem was that when we got to the actual billboard we realized it was reallllyyyy high up, something we hadn't quite picked up on while driving by it. We ended up having to settle for the one athletic member of our group throwing the gun up at the billboard and were more than lucky that a small speckle of black paint showed up on the white background. On our way home, we were stopped by a policeman, who asked us what we were up to. Since most of us had dabs of black paint on us from trying to deal with the gun, I said, "We were working on the set for our school play." At 4am. On the highway. The officer didn't even bother to respond to that and simply asked for our names so that if he heard about any misdeeds in the morning, he'd know who to approach. That was when some of us should have lied but we didn't. Luckily nothing terrible seemed to have occurred, so we were off the hook, and ever so proud when we drove by that billboard and saw the barely noticeable dot of black paint. I lied by omission when a butch friend talked to me over the phone about how his most recent ex was "dark sided" because she didn't believe in God and how he wanted to meet a nice girl like me. I should have spoken up but I didn't so quickly want to have to defend myself as to being nice and dark-sided. Heh, heh. |
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07-03-2011, 11:57 PM | #33 |
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I once told a drunk woman I was a Lesbian polygamist and had 2 sister wives...I convinced her that she should join.
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07-04-2011, 07:44 AM | #34 |
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and i thought i had good lines....
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07-04-2011, 08:55 AM | #35 |
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I refuse to disclose on the grounds that it will incriminate me both here and at large.
Plus they really were of the bland, lie to your parents to see your boyfriend type. Or the extensive sets of lies to get into clubs or buy booze. I love reading this thread thou. Keep them coming. A |
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07-04-2011, 02:13 PM | #36 |
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Back in the early 1990s, I had started to date a really nice girl and we'd decided to go to the cinema. It was her choice of film and she decided on going to see Naked Gun 33 1/3.
I knew nothing about it (or most other Hollywood films for that matter) but, trying to be uber-cool, I pretended otherwise. On the evening we met up, she asked me what I thought of Leslie Nielsen. Every Lesley I'd know in real life had been female so I instantly replied that she was a great actress and that I was a massive fan of hers ..... The date went downhill from there and taught me that, if I'm going to tell a bare-faced lie, make sure I know what I'm talking about !!! |
07-04-2011, 05:58 PM | #37 |
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My most persistent lie:
"I'm sorry, have no idea how fast I was going, Officer. I was just keeping up with traffic."
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07-05-2011, 10:10 PM | #38 |
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today i lied - just for this thread
i told my coworkers i was busy all holiday weekend with my other job and true passion in life - impersonating neil diamond.
i also told them i'm in especially high demand on the fourth due to my show stopping rendition of america. the worst part is - i almost got away with it |
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