OFOS Butches & Femmes

[Soft*Silver]

my daughter, who is now 26 and almost engaged, took her cues from her momma about dating...when she started dating, she developed a criteria check list that they had to pass before she would accept a date, and a list for after the first date was over. She had seen me date OFOS butches throughout her childhood and expected her hetero bio men to treat her as well as my butches treated me...

[Mrs. Strutt]

Originally Posted by Greyson

Good morning bact at you Mrs. Strutt. Nice to see yet another familiar face here. The Strutt family is back in da house.

Thank you, Greyson Mrs. Strutt, for one, is glad to be back in da house...I have missed being among my own kind for so long.

[Gemme]

Originally Posted by Ol' Jet

SO EVERYONE


I'm afraid to ask this question,

but ...

what makes you old school?

Please God, lets not debate this or turn this into a long, cold dissertation
Let the answers just be from our hearts.

I don't know if I'm fully in the realm of Old School yet, but I know that I have OS tendencies and that I prefer those who exhibit OS behaviors.

I agree with Wicket's post below as to what that means to me.

Originally Posted by WicketWWarrick

I call myself old school because I honor and respect the butches and femmes who paved the way for us to be like we are. I value our history. I value chivalry, being a gentleman (or gentlewoman/gentleperson). Manners, respect, loyalty - these are some of the things I strive to exude as a partner. I need to run so will probably add more later, but this is at least a start.

-Wicket

Lovely!

Originally Posted by LittleShug

I have a question--

In your opinion, do Old Fashioned/Old School and Stone go hand in hand?

Just wondering what interpretations there might be...

For me, they definitely accentuate one another, but don't neceessarily mean that they are permanently linked.

[sylvie]

*waves*

erm, well in *this* thread anyway!
so just wanted to say hello, and hope you all have a wonderful day tomorrow!

[Soft*Silver]

why am I old school old fashioned? In MY OPINION and ONLY FOR ME maybe because I am not what I consider new school, new day of age, new ways...

I dont swear alot

I am not disrespectful to myself nor to others....

I dont hang my "tits" out my blouse...in fact they are the girls, not tits...

I like knowing AND understanding the words of songs that are sung not screamed

I cross my legs not uncross them in order to get the attention of that butch over there

smiling at a butch means hello, not wanna fuck?

dancing together means dancing not sex

dating means dating not sex

sex means making love not fucking

fucking comes when love is established and secured

well..there is more but this will start...

[Mrs. Strutt]

Being "old school" is having a reverence for respect, integrity and honor--the foundation of what forms any old school soul.

It's not something you are just because it's the fashion of the day. It's not a snazzy garment you pull out for special occasions.

Being old school is like that soft, many times-washed old cotton t-shirt that fits you like a glove--so comfortable, you don't even know you have it on.

I am proud to be an old school femme.

[Gemme]

Originally Posted by Mrs. Strutt

Being "old school" is having a reverence for respect, integrity and honor--the foundation of what forms any old school soul.

It's not something you are just because it's the fashion of the day. It's not a snazzy garment you pull out for special occasions.

Being old school is like that soft, many times-washed old cotton t-shirt that fits you like a glove--so comfortable, you don't even know you have it on.

I am proud to be an old school femme.

I really relate to this post.

[Jet]

The night was warm with just a hint of north breeze now and then.
The dance had ended at midnight and most sailors and soldiers had found their way to hotels and bunks on this three-day liberty.

I met her at the USO canteen, with its crowd of soldiers and working girls who had volunteered their evenings and their company of doughnuts and hot coffee for as long as they would last. Each girl, with her lined hosiery and upsweep, and 2-inch hemline, which had been cut short for the wool needed ocean's away, made herself available to soldiers to boost their morale and their hopes of returning home.

The canteen had grown hot on this night with loud swing music and fast jitterbugs and thoughts of war long forgotton under lilting trumpets and hot saxes and fast drums. It was swing and a time when all of America danced to a different tune.

Midnight struck some time ago and she invited me to her apartment to shave and to bunk on her sofa. It was all on the up and up—a sailor and a single girl both fighting for the same thing, in the name of the war effort, which we thought was the right thing. She was beautiful. I didn't want to touch her for fear of losing her, and yet I wanted to touch her all through the night.

She offered me Johnny Walker Red and a light for filterless smokes and a place to rest on her sofa. I saw that there were things out of line; a door hinge needed fixing, paint had chipped on the kitchen wall, things needed patching and straightening. And I wanted to stay and take care of everything for her, but it wasn't to be.

I could have pursued her and promised her a million things that a million guys would have offered, but I liked her. I was beholden to her generosity and her care that I may or may not ever come back. That alone, meant everything.

The Johnny Walker Red loosened my memories of all that I had loved and all that I could lose in a single detonated charge somewhere in the Pacific. I asked her to dance closer to me, and to a beautiful trumpet that made me forget.

There wasn't time for explanations, or excuses or promises. What mattered in this moment was the feel of her and possibly the last time I would ever see her.

The lights dimmed, the trumpet played and we danced to the unknown on a summer night in 1942...

[Jet]

Flying in and out to say hello. have a good night.

[Lillie]

Is there any other kind?

I guess I have been lucky in finding any butch I dated being ofos. I love being treated like a lady. I live in an area where the next town over is 65+ and occasionally we shop there..I always get a giggle when I hear the older woman say to her husband "Oh look at that nice young man opening her car door" and than she turns around and they turn red realizing she is in fact a she!...I respect any woman ofos or not who treats another with respect and manners AND trust me it does not go un noticed when its genuine ..and completely NOTICED when its not!:

lol
Lillie

[Kätzchen]

I really like a lot of the sentiment that has been expressed here by Jet and by Tiffany (Mrs. Strutt) and by Softness.

Several descriptions of what OFOS are known to be like, such as: Jet conveying that being OFOS comes from a place of sharing an affinity for romance and passion - something that's innate between the butch and a femme who share and enjoy the dynamic of their relationship dance. I like how Tiffany likened it to "feeling like a soft, many times washed, old cotton t-shirt that fits like a glove" - I like how she decribed that feeling between those who feel they are of the OFOS variety. Also, I enjoyed reading ideas that Softness presented: for example, she was saying that "dating means dating, not sex" and "smiling at a butch means hello" or even "dancing means dancing" together and not something else!

I feel that I am rather old fashioned and of an older, mature, school of thought in that I - for those of you who have met me and spoken with me in person - am pretty quiet by nature and not as 'out loud and proud' as some might think. Even in my past professional career as a practicing, licensed hairdresser (Tiffany might agree with me on this), we serve our clinetele with a gracious spirit and I guess this is what I am trying to say about me - is that there's a spirit of grace that permeates my personality and the way I carry myself. At least I have been told this by people who know me and interact with me on a daily basis.

I have another story (an example) of what I'm like in a different context/situation: My advisor (and Program Director) was gone to Israel on a special trip with colleagues in the department and I needed special assistance. So, I went to our department chairperson - I've had them for several courses - and during our hour long visit to help me resolve a conflict, he said to me that 'I was such a sweetheart of a person' because of how I was trying to make sense of my situation and be considerate of the other person, as well as myself. It felt good to hear him say that to me because sometimes that is not how people read me... if that makes any sense at all.

For me (a Femme perspective), OFOS orientation is connected to -

timing issues: I wait to be invited to dance

romantic notions: a melding of fidelity and trust

relationship ideals: a passionate regard for the traditional

to me, it's an intricate dance of communication skills between two people who share similar values and beliefs and it's not too easy, this dance that we do. That said, it would seem that what I have been able to itemize above might seem to be what most people strive to attain in ordinary ways, but there's something special that occurs between those of us who identify with what OFOS means to those of us who feel we exude these qualities. It seems so hard to decribe in written text - it seems elusive, yet I know and recognise the signs by which we give to one another and how it feels as we live it in our daily lives. Like Jet was saying in an earlier post - being OFOS "is uncomplicated, unpretentious and worn like distressed leather."

To me, that feels so right and describes how I feel about what OFOS is about.
It's late, so if my post seems to not make too much sense, just know that I'm headed to dreamland soon... My pillows are finally calling me!

Good night and sweet dreams to all of you!

[Jet]

Honey Touch Me With My Clothes On

[Kätzchen]

Jet???

You were here!!!! AND, you posted about Gilda Radner!

Is she amazing or what???

I remember staying up late watching Saturday Night Live and she was my favorite actress-performer!!!! Oh my stars, she was sOoOoOOOoo funny!

She was also an inspiration to me and her husband, Gene Wilder, was such a wonderful husband to her -- even during the greatest battle she ever faced -- and he was so good to her! He is a Saint, in my books!!!! Do you feel that way about Gene Wilder too???

That video you left here is very special - You know at the end of the video where there's a quote left by Gilda???

Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next. Delicious ambiguity.

It's the "ambiguity" piece that has become so important to me, during this past year of studies: One of my favorite professors (in our department), taught me so much this past year on that very thing - ambiguity - and being willing to accept ambiguity because it is an opportunity to explore and discover moments that are shrouded in ambiguity and to not be afraid of the unknown. And to me, this is the priceless part about being in the moment and not knowing what comes next or what change we might need to accept or even use our imagination to creatively find new ways to experience what life offers as we taste ambiguity in our lives! Truly, Gilda's humor and how she faced her fears and battles in life is a shining example and inspiration to us all! This is such a gift to remember Gilda tonight - this helps me sooo much!!!!

Thanks so much Jet for thinking to post about Gilda Radner tonight!

[Kätzchen]

I thought I'd leave a video here this morning before I head out for the day!

I don't know about any of you, but I loved the (TV series) The Dick Van Dyke Show years ago! I always thought of it as a sit-com of an OFOS young couple and their friends and family life!

*enjoy*

[Kätzchen]

In my sleeping this afternoon, I was dreamily contemplating all the qualities and characteristics about me that identify me as an Old Fashioned Old Skool Femme....

I favor songs that are soulful, sweet and charming - this seems to reflect my type of temperment. Also, I tend to prefer pet nicknames (for me) like: Darling, Sweetheart, Your Majesty (playfully, of course), and Sugar... among other creative references and my circle of friends tends to be rather small (I only have so much energy)! But, that's about as far as I got this afternoon, while I was thinking about things that are typical of me...

I kind of slept the day away tending to my own needs, so I guess I'll be up all night *silly me* !!!

[Jet]

Dance #16: Heart and Soul

If I sat next to you would you think I cared?
If I asked you to slow dance, would you?

Would you sway and twirl
heart to heart, soul to soul?

Would you run through hayfields
and laugh away the years with me?

Would you kiss me in the moonlight?
Would you teach me how?

Would you join me in a life long duet?

I wonder.

Would you love me heart and soul?

—The Dancer of Atlanta

[Toughy]

I don't identify with being 'old fashioned' at all.

I am old school. Integrity, manners, charm, do the right thing, protect only when asked, loyalty, compassion, etc.

I love it when a femme comes to me and asks for a dance. Femmes should be strong, powerful, in control, knows what she wants and will work/ask for it.

I love getting flowers. I love giving flowers.

I want to see her out in her glory.....tits showing, slit up the side of her leg skirt, shoes that make me wet (I'm a shoe whore, what can I say), looking/acting like sex walking....ok.....mmmm.......I lost my train of thought....oh yeah.....that is an OS femme in my book...one who owns her body and her sexuality and is not afraid to show the world....and fuck em if they don't like it.

I am always puzzled by the linking of 'old fashioned' with 'old school'. They are two different things in my mind. They are not linked together for me. IF they were, then I would be kicking a butch's ass who looked at my date, making butches ask me (not her) if they can dance with her...and a whole lot of other old fashioned ways of treating women.

I came out in what most folks think of as OFOS times...early 70's.....there is a whole bunch of that old school stuff that I hate and most of it is centered in the old fashioned way in which women were treated.

So for me........I am truly old school. But I truly dislike and am not old fashioned.

[Ebon]

I respect my elders
I prefer a woman's soul over looks
I like to be a gentleman to a lady that allows me to
I love old school music 50's 60's 70's
I have to connect with someone on a deep level before I make love to them
I got my ass whipped as a kid. lol
I try to be considerate, if I'm not I don't realize it
I prefer women with old souls
I don't like BS from anyone
I try to learn my lessons from the Universe so I don't have to keep going through the same shit
I see life as life, some things can be changed some cannot either way it goes I enjoy myself and try not to wallow too long
I don't let silly shit affect me
I get over things pretty quickly

I'm sure there is a more but this is a start

OB

[Jet]

Resurrecting this thread.

[sylvie]

hello OS'ers! ♥

i love reading through this thread ..
i'm most definitely an old soul - i have many old school values..
i love to be treated like a lady, having the door opened for me , chair pulled out for me, etc... it helps make me feel so cared for, adored.. safe, taken care of.. someone who will hold my hand to keep me close, and i am very traditional in ways of dating/romance..

glad to see this thread resurrected.. ♥
have a wonderful day all!