Femmes: How do you like to be treated on a date?

[Martina]

I am a California girl (now) and def have my woo woo side.

But I do not need to know THAT much about your soul on the first date.

Just saying.

[iridium]

Late entry here on this old thread.

-Don't make me have to make the decisions of what to do or where to go.
-When on a double date I like when the butches walk protectively behind us femmes, in full veiw of us in our high femme club wear.
-When sitting together, boldly touching my knee while telling me how lovely I look in that cute outfit you asked me to wear.

[Library_girl]

(Thanks for bumping this one!)

Hmmmm, I guess I'm like a lot of femmes.....I want to be treated with respect and kindness. I'm very old school, so I respond to all the little things like opening doors, holding my coat, pulling back my chair, etc. Flirt with me, if it's genuine. Be honest and be yourself, I want to get to know the real you.

Please DON'T: dance with someone else, flirt with someone else, look at other women, swat the waitresses' butts, or tease/make fun of me. Yes, these have all happened on actual dates. REALLY? So tacky.

[Zimmeh]

Heheh..I had that shirt for a few months I enjoyed all of our dates, including us going to Disney's Magic Kingdom for the first time!

You are a sweet person and I'm glad we fell in love!

Zimmeh

Originally Posted by ruffryder

This is how my honey and I started our dates


One date was also watching football at a sports bar/restaurant with her wearing one of my shirts and sharing food. She had a blast!

A lot of our dates were coffee , lunch, dinner dates and we just laughed and laughed and laughed and then we fell in love.

[CherryBlonde]

I don't think it's about how much money you spend. Be creative, something fun and different will definitely get my attention. Sweet, chivalrous and funny is always a way to win my heart.

[Happyfemme]

I think it's important to be kind and respectful on a date. I like manners and nice conversation. I like it when the person opens doors and offers me their arm to hold onto or asks if they can hold my hand. How I feel when I am with the person is most important. I like to feel safe, comfortable and cared for.

[sofimichi]

I like to be more submissive when on a date.

[kittygrrl]

I hear its dead but I enjoy chivalry

[Queenie]

Like a little queen! Cause really how else would you like to be treated on a date?

[kittygrrl]

thoughtfully..

[Sweet Bliss]

The same as every other day.

courtesy kindness respect humor.

[Bèsame*]

~~~treat me like you really put some thought and effort into it~~~~

[silkepus]

I have always though a first date should be short with less pressure. Like just having a coffee something like that.

I would love to have the old school opening doors treatment, never have before. I would probably think better of the person I'm dating if they did, but I wouldn’t think worse of them if they didn’t. It’s more like an added bonus than a necessity.

And for the whole cost thing, I think the best dates are definitely free. I would rather someone took me on a hike in the mountains than on a fancy restaurant.

[willow]

I do not need to be the centre of your universe but I do need to feel at least as important as anything else in your life at this moment in time. Be respectful, be kind, be polite (to everyone). Regardless of what you do for a living do not take calls from work, we are either on a date or we are not. Do not check your emails, texts, facebook, or twitter. In fact, I do not want to see your phone at all. It's not about spending a lot of money, or any money. I'm perfectly fine with sharing the bill.

Talk to me.

Originally Posted by silkepus

<snip> I would probably think better of the person I'm dating if they did, but I wouldn’t think worse of them if they didn’t. It’s more like an added bonus than a necessity. <snip>

Definitely more an added bonus than a necessity. Just don't let the door shut in my face

[imperfect_cupcake]

the variety is staggering in what people like.

what some people need I would be baffled by or put off from.

what I want, other people would feel totally unnecessary or completely not enough.

but that is the whole point of hanging out with each other: to find out and to see if it's a match.

for example - I don't care if people answer their phone. people have jobs that do demand an answer, the have kids or parents in care. They have other friends that may have an emergency (I was out on a date once and my ex called me in hysterics because her new partner was stuck in a very dangerous flood and did not know how to get hold of her, she was missing and she needed just someone calm to talk to her for a few minutes and help her out. My date totally understood and was glad I was open hearted enough to take the call).

I like going to a pub. I don't want a meal. snacks and some drinks and a long conversation and a good laugh.

that's a first hang out with me. Don't fuss but be cool, be a bit smooth. make me laugh, be open, tell me stories about your life.

[willow]

Originally Posted by honeybarbara

the variety is staggering in what people like.

what some people need I would be baffled by or put off from.

what I want, other people would feel totally unnecessary or completely not enough.

but that is the whole point of hanging out with each other: to find out and to see if it's a match.

for example - I don't care if people answer their phone. people have jobs that do demand an answer, the have kids or parents in care. They have other friends that may have an emergency (I was out on a date once and my ex called me in hysterics because her new partner was stuck in a very dangerous flood and did not know how to get hold of her, she was missing and she needed just someone calm to talk to her for a few minutes and help her out. My date totally understood and was glad I was open hearted enough to take the call).

I like going to a pub. I don't want a meal. snacks and some drinks and a long conversation and a good laugh.

that's a first hang out with me. Don't fuss but be cool, be a bit smooth. make me laugh, be open, tell me stories about your life.

You are right, my no phone ban was too sweeping. If there are dependent children or elderly relatives to consider then that's a whole different thing.

[Smiling]

For me, what makes a date great is if I feel like the other person is not just in attendance, but present; and happy to be there with me. It doesn't take much to convince me of that; just a genuine smile, easy conversation, and some friendly -don't overdo it, just be easy about it- body language will do the trick.

I don't require any grand gestures beyond that. I do appreciate a door being held for me, but it isn't an issue for me if it is not. However, I do agree with whomever stated that a date had better not let a door close in their face, lol.

[Redsunflower]

I've liked this thread very much and am astounded any of us manage to get together given the variety of ways we like to be treated on a date.

This one...

Originally Posted by LadyRieinAL

...you reach out to give me a warm welcoming hug...you offer to help me with my jacket or coat...you reach to take my luggage from me...you get out of the car, come around and open the passenger's door for me, you take my hand and kiss it gently...
...you have a large cozy bathrobe in the bathroom for me...
...You've made plans for dinner, Italian...
...while helping me with my coat, you ask if you may kiss me...at the restaurant you pull out my chair and kiss my cheek.
...you ask if you can order for me...
...you have made me feel like a princess.

...is my idea of a living hell. (No offence intended in way way, LadyRieinAL. Best of luck with finding what you're looking for. :-))

If we're talking about spending time with someone we don't know very well, maybe just enough to be interested, then I want to be treated like exactly that, someone you don't know very well.

Be curious, ask stuff, if I don't want to tell you I'll say. Be ready for me to ask things about you, I will 'cos I'm interested, or I wouldn't be there. Show me who you are as best you can and I'll do the same.

Have a few ideas ready for things we might do. I'll have some too and we can figure it out together. We're both responsible for our own enjoyment.

Tell me what's important to you, what you love, what drives you mad, what your passionate about. Tell me about your mood, where you think you are in life, what you get up to. Tell me any damn thing you like.

Mostly, treat me like the competent, independent, thinking person that I am.

And that'll do nicely, thank you.

[imperfect_cupcake]

Yeah I don't really wanna be asked if someone may kiss me. I may panic and say no lol.
I dunno, I was raised on the slow move in, giving time for the other person to move away. Hint taken.
I like tension and unspoken things. Leading up to a molestation in the ally lol
Someone kissing my hand would have me saying something really smart ass.

Though one person did it once in a way that was smooth. I have never seen that repeated before in my life. I'd rather have a hand on my back. Those little physical touches back and forth, gradually accumulating in dry humping under the table hahahaha...

The leg touch with their leg, so I can move my leg or leave it there. And the spike in blood pressure that happens with that.

Or just drink beer on my couch with me and talk till it gets late and leap on me, that will do!

[Redsunflower]

Originally Posted by honeybarbara

Yeah I don't really wanna be asked if someone may kiss me. I may panic and say no lol.
I dunno, I was raised on the slow move in, giving time for the other person to move away. Hint taken.
I like tension and unspoken things. Leading up to a molestation in the ally lol
Someone kissing my hand would have me saying something really smart ass.

Though one person did it once in a way that was smooth. I have never seen that repeated before in my life. I'd rather have a hand on my back. Those little physical touches back and forth, gradually accumulating in dry humping under the table hahahaha...

The leg touch with their leg, so I can move my leg or leave it there. And the spike in blood pressure that happens with that.

Or just drink beer on my couch with me and talk till it gets late and leap on me, that will do!

Oh yes...tension and unspoken things...I love all that too. When the tension is allowed to build, then moments that might come later are even hotter. The small touches of my back or hand or wherever, I need a chance to wonder if they were accidental or deliberate, what it felt like to have you touching me, if I want you to touch me again, to wait for it and want it.

I don't want to be asked about a kiss 'cos that's just the wrong dynamic altogether, too formal and polite, I don't want anything sexual to be done in a polite way. But if my date waits for me to make the first move, we will wait forever; never gonna happen, ever.

Like all kinds of touching, you'll know I'm interested 'cos I'll be physically close enough to allow you to do it. If you just can't find the moment, that'll be because I'm avoiding it. If the 'blood pressure spike' doesn't happen then it just isn't happening. This energy cannot be created artificially, it exists between two people or not, but giving it a chance to grow is the best thing ever.

Now I want to go on a date, it's been a while. Dammit.