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Old 04-04-2018, 03:55 PM   #141
girl_dee
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i have a huge fear of letting go completely, and becoming completely happy, living the dream, and truly seeing my happy ever after with the butch of my dreams, only to have the rug pulled out from under me for reasons beyond my control. *shudders*
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Old 04-04-2018, 04:55 PM   #142
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i have a huge fear of letting go completely, and becoming completely happy, living the dream, and truly seeing my happy ever after with the butch of my dreams, only to have the rug pulled out from under me for reasons beyond my control. *shudders*
Yes I know this feeling.

Except the butch of my dreams part
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Old 04-04-2018, 07:05 PM   #143
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i have a huge fear of letting go completely, and becoming completely happy, living the dream, and truly seeing my happy ever after with the butch of my dreams, only to have the rug pulled out from under me for reasons beyond my control. *shudders*

That's how it's going to be for me. The rug is over there somewhere~~~~~~》
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Old 04-04-2018, 07:53 PM   #144
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Finding the right person at the wrong time but i think thats already happened.
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Old 04-04-2018, 08:26 PM   #145
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Fear that I have already risked all for love and won't be able to do it again.

After spending so much time being bold and brave for love and giving it my all and getting seriously burned and scarred in the process, and then finding the person who truly loves me and treats me better than anyone else ever has but staying in the safety of my cave.

Not being brave at the right time for the right one. I'm usually very bold in all matters but the scars do indeed run very deep.
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Old 04-04-2018, 09:43 PM   #146
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Fear that I have already risked all for love and won't be able to do it again.

After spending so much time being bold and brave for love and giving it my all and getting seriously burned and scarred in the process, and then finding the person who truly loves me and treats me better than anyone else ever has but staying in the safety of my cave.

Not being brave at the right time for the right one. I'm usually very bold in all matters but the scars do indeed run very deep.
Ditto, Bully!

I am not "scarred" but broken in spirit! Those breaks do run very deep. It will be a while time before I open myself up again like the past ones....
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Old 04-05-2018, 05:55 AM   #147
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I think I've already been through the big relationship fear and came out alive. Not unscathed, of course, but I'm able to live another day. Maybe even love another day, but that's not my priority or goal. I'm good with me.

I absolutely understand waiting for the other shoe to drop feeling. It's the shadow on the edge that dims every moment of happiness, like you have to work extra hard to hold that memory tight before it's gone.

I have a tendency to give everything and that's not healthy for me. When I'm with someone, it's about us and the things I do work toward that but it's not always reciprocated or appreciated so I've swung back and forth on the pendulum either holding back too much for this person or giving too much and expecting too much from another.

Love is not about rainbows and fairy wings; it's science. It's pheromones and algorithmic formulas and I've never been great at science.

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Old 04-05-2018, 12:28 PM   #148
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i just wanted to say..reading your comments has taught me some things about myself..there is truth here and much bravery..i truly appreciate you. thank you
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Old 04-05-2018, 02:10 PM   #149
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hooking up with a self-centered liar and all the behaviors that go along with that ... I used to be such a truster and believer ... I keep my distance "safe" now. I choose this because I enjoy my life so much better this way ... I would describe it as a type of calm happiness.
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Old 04-18-2018, 06:48 PM   #150
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Hm, I guess since I’m relatively anonymous online I can state my fears... 🙈🙈
Like most people, I fear getting hurt, but I think because of some childhood issues which I posted about elsewhere, I’m incredibly wary of letting anyone close. My closest friends said it took *years* to get to know me because I keep people at a distance, or as my sister said, I’m “prickly.” I love being alone and I love my freedom, but I live with the terror I’ll go through that childhood stuff again.
In February, I made myself go out on a date and I actually liked the woman, but I just imagined all the awful things she could do so it turned into an awkward nightmare. I bet she’s a wonderful person and I wish I could apologize to her, but my brain sort of goes into panic mode.
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Old 04-18-2018, 07:16 PM   #151
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i have a huge fear of letting go completely, and becoming completely happy, living the dream, and truly seeing my happy ever after with the butch of my dreams, only to have the rug pulled out from under me for reasons beyond my control. *shudders*


This. This is my fear exactly.
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Old 04-19-2018, 07:37 AM   #152
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This. This is my fear exactly.
yes yes... i am glad someone understands... , i fear letting go and being totally confident that it will be the happy ever after that i didn’t think existed
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Old 04-19-2018, 03:46 PM   #153
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Fear of abandonment--Big Time.

Finally able to let go of control, but also can grab it back
when necessary.
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Old 04-19-2018, 03:47 PM   #154
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i’ve lived a tough life, i fear being judged on it.
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Old 04-19-2018, 07:10 PM   #155
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Fear of abandonment--Big Time.

Finally able to let go of control, but also can grab it back
when necessary.
Yes, yes, and yes.
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