Butch Femme Planet  

Go Back   Butch Femme Planet > RELATIONSHIPS, COMMUNITY, GROUPS > BFP Folks Under 30

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 01-27-2012, 01:22 AM   #41
1ladyface
Junior Member

How Do You Identify?:
femme
Preferred Pronoun?:
she
Relationship Status:
loved and loving
 
1ladyface's Avatar
 

Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: SF
Posts: 86
Thanks: 65
Thanked 279 Times in 66 Posts
Rep Power: 3368875
1ladyface Has the BEST Reputation1ladyface Has the BEST Reputation1ladyface Has the BEST Reputation1ladyface Has the BEST Reputation1ladyface Has the BEST Reputation1ladyface Has the BEST Reputation1ladyface Has the BEST Reputation1ladyface Has the BEST Reputation1ladyface Has the BEST Reputation1ladyface Has the BEST Reputation1ladyface Has the BEST Reputation
Default

Hi All,

My ex and good friend is blogging for

originalplumbing.com

from jail, via letters to me. His first post went up today. I think of the OP community as really supportive but there have been two nasty comments on his blog post, both of which are based on inaccurate and unfounded assumptions.

He is blogging to share his experiences, connect with other trans folks struggling with substance abuse and create a space to open up a dialogue around that. He's really put it all out there in his first post and I'm just flabbergasted and horrified that anyone would be outright mean in their comments.

Anyway, I think the post is worth reading and if you have a chance, give him some love. What he needs now is encouragement and community not holier than though self righteous judgemental bullshit.

love love love (and no bullshit),

ladyface
__________________
xoxo

-ladyface
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.



To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
1ladyface is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-30-2012, 01:37 AM   #42
Princess
Member

How Do You Identify?:
princess
Preferred Pronoun?:
She, her.
Relationship Status:
One singular sensation!
 
Princess's Avatar
 

Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Topeka, KS
Posts: 1,341
Thanks: 2,082
Thanked 4,583 Times in 1,009 Posts
Rep Power: 21474846
Princess Has the BEST ReputationPrincess Has the BEST ReputationPrincess Has the BEST ReputationPrincess Has the BEST ReputationPrincess Has the BEST ReputationPrincess Has the BEST ReputationPrincess Has the BEST ReputationPrincess Has the BEST ReputationPrincess Has the BEST ReputationPrincess Has the BEST ReputationPrincess Has the BEST Reputation
Default

I wanna give this thread a little bump because I think it's important for those of us under 30 to share our stories and learning experiences. Ya never know who is reading these, and how much it will help them! With that said...

I am 28 years old and I came out when I was 14. It was a huge accident to be honest with you. I mean, I had known for a long while that I was not interested in boys. I didn't quite put 2 and 2 together until the summer before I turned 14.

My best friend went away to Oregon for the summer, and when she got back I of course went to her house for a sleepover. She came out to me that night, and told me that she had met a girl in Oregon and she was dating her. I will tell you that my reaction was sort of...odd. I felt uncomfortable with her, and actually faked sick to go home! When I got home all I could think about was if that was me...Erika and I talked about it later on that week and I came to the conclusion that I was indeed a "lesbian" That conversation took place just to the left of our favorite baseball field, under this big ol tree and she ended up being my very FIRST girlfriend.

Fast forward to how I was outed though...I guess Erika and I hadnt been so quiet, or so subtle about our relationship because people at school were talking. We were the only two gays in the whole school so of course it was a big deal.

Somehow, my mother found out through the grapevine. We were watching t.v. King of the Hill actually, and I don't know why I remember that, maybe because it was an important moment. Anyway, she looked at me and said:

"Ang are you bisexual?"

I thought about that very carefully for a moment and I said:

"No mom, i'm gay and Erika is my girlfriend."

That was pretty much it! She was supportive of me instantly and then it seemed to spread like wildfire. Soon enough my whole family and seemingly the whole town knew. I haven't ever looked back. I can say, I am really glad that Erika had that summer away, because it forced me to think about things. Otherwise, it would have been a long struggle trying to come to those terms.

Also note, I am leaving out a whole lot of in between negativity things that I encountered on my journey, but when I am feeling up to it I will share that too.
Princess is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Princess For This Useful Post:
Old 10-18-2013, 04:25 PM   #43
LexiLove
Junior Member

How Do You Identify?:
Fierce.Lesbian.Femme.Dyke.
Preferred Pronoun?:
She.Her.Sweetums.
Relationship Status:
I have her...hoping to keep her
 
LexiLove's Avatar
 

Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: NY for now
Posts: 53
Thanks: 31
Thanked 135 Times in 36 Posts
Rep Power: 950348
LexiLove Has the BEST ReputationLexiLove Has the BEST ReputationLexiLove Has the BEST ReputationLexiLove Has the BEST ReputationLexiLove Has the BEST ReputationLexiLove Has the BEST ReputationLexiLove Has the BEST ReputationLexiLove Has the BEST ReputationLexiLove Has the BEST ReputationLexiLove Has the BEST ReputationLexiLove Has the BEST Reputation
Default

This is a realllllly old thread but I wanted to share my story.

Just to be completely honest, I am teetering on 30. I will be 30 in December.

I knew I was ferociously attracted to girls at a very young age. I remember making my barbies kiss when I was 5 or so years old. I was definitely into masculine people though which was very confusing. I crushed on boys in middle/high school but knew something was wrong the first time I had sex with a boy. Actually, I lost my virginity to my best friend. She and I were inseparable and even though she was VERY feminine, I was very tomboyish at the time.

My father was a very homophobic guy (to be honest he still kind of is) and I am a through and through daddy's girl. He told me very early in life that as long as I was "not a rapist, murderer, pedophile, or gay that he would love me." I was completely crushed and spent many years hiding behind boyfriends and trying to change my father's mind. I finally ended up getting married to a man and having two children. We loved one another but I felt more like he was my friend. My now ex husband knew that I loved women and allowed me to "be" with women from time to time. He joined the Army and while away allowed me to have women in my life. They were my "friends" in front of my children, other family, or strangers, but once alone they were my lovers.

I remember the first time I saw a "butch" on tv. I am not sure how she identifies but she is very masculine looking. It was an episode of Millionaire matchmaker and her name is Tyler. I almost fell over. She was so sexy and exactly what I wanted in my life. I had reached a point where I couldn't hide anymore. I was depressed, scared, and really wanted to leave my married life with my husband. My husband left for Afghanistan and while gone, I met my butch. I fell HARD. Sadly, I broke my husband's heart. I still feel guilty for that but I had to leave. I wanted her more than anything else in my life. I divorced him, got custody of my children, she and I raise my babies as our own and life is good. My ex realized too that he is happier without me. It took a long time for him to get over me but he tells me that it is nice to be with a women who responds to him, uhm, sexually.

Anyway, all of this happened over the last few years. It has been a long process but I couldn't stay in the closet a minute longer after meeting her. Also, my dad came around and now loves both of us.

Life is good.
LexiLove is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to LexiLove For This Useful Post:
Old 12-28-2013, 03:12 PM   #44
silkepus
Member

How Do You Identify?:
covered in ink and glitter
Preferred Pronoun?:
feminine ones
Relationship Status:
watching pictures of cats on tumblr
 
silkepus's Avatar
 

Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Scandinavia
Posts: 382
Thanks: 359
Thanked 701 Times in 196 Posts
Rep Power: 10186792
silkepus Has the BEST Reputationsilkepus Has the BEST Reputationsilkepus Has the BEST Reputationsilkepus Has the BEST Reputationsilkepus Has the BEST Reputationsilkepus Has the BEST Reputationsilkepus Has the BEST Reputationsilkepus Has the BEST Reputationsilkepus Has the BEST Reputationsilkepus Has the BEST Reputationsilkepus Has the BEST Reputation
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Captain Franki View Post
In the real world find it really hard being new to everything at 20 sometimes.

I feel like everyone else around me has known they were queer all their lives and already figured this shit out. I feel so ignorant and green, or a fraud even.

I don't know how to act and tell myself that everyone expects me to know everything, something.

I'm used to men. I'm used to the world of straight dating. I'm used to cismale bodies.

I have no idea what I'm doing.

It's like going through adolescence all over again.

This is exactley how I feel at the moment, all of it.

Everyone seem to have been out since they where teens and even dated then. I have just turned 24 and I only recently was able to call myself a lesbian and not feel like the whole world was going to collapse if I did.

I have no idea what Im doing either. I have been with men before, and it was so easy I hardly had to do anything I dont even know where to meet gay women. How does that even work?
silkepus is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to silkepus For This Useful Post:
Old 12-28-2013, 06:38 PM   #45
odd_boi_out
Junior Member

How Do You Identify?:
transmasculine, butch
Preferred Pronoun?:
they
Relationship Status:
Single
 
odd_boi_out's Avatar
 

Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Bay Area CA
Posts: 25
Thanks: 4
Thanked 74 Times in 17 Posts
Rep Power: 1055189
odd_boi_out Has the BEST Reputationodd_boi_out Has the BEST Reputationodd_boi_out Has the BEST Reputationodd_boi_out Has the BEST Reputationodd_boi_out Has the BEST Reputationodd_boi_out Has the BEST Reputationodd_boi_out Has the BEST Reputationodd_boi_out Has the BEST Reputationodd_boi_out Has the BEST Reputationodd_boi_out Has the BEST Reputationodd_boi_out Has the BEST Reputation
Default

I started identifying as a lesbian when I was 14. I knew I was "different" way before then, but didn't have the words to articulate how I was feeling. I attributed my lack of interest in boys to the fact that I had a twin brother - boys were not "mysterious" to me in the same way they were to my friends. In middle school I started thinking of myself as asexual. I didn't know at the time that was an actual identity term people used for themselves, but I did know the word from biology class (asexual reproduction), and figured that since I wasn't interested in boys, I must not be a sexual person at all. I assumed that all girls felt the way I did about other girls. Being gay was not even a possibility that entered my head.

Summer before high school started, I went to Girl Scout camp and listened to a lot of music by the Indigo Girls. I got home from camp, horribly campsick, and went out to the record store to find an Indigo Girls CD to remind me of camp. Their CDs often included a list of organizations they supported, and I started searching online for those organizations; one thing led to the next and I found myself stumbling into queer community online and realizing there were other people like me.

Simultaneously, I started high school and developed an enormous crush on a girl who sang with me in choir. I hated myself for it and wished it would go away. It took me a year of agony and denial to finally admit to myself that this wasn't a phase, that I actually was gay. And due to the conservative and religious environment I grew up and went to school in, I didn't start coming out to anyone until I was 17.

Around that time, though, I also started to question my gender identity. I didn't have the words for what it meant to be transgender until I was almost 18, but had long felt extreme discomfort with my body and could never really picture myself growing up to be a woman. I came out as trans at 19, yet struggled with that for a while, because I never fully identified as male, either. Now at almost 25 I happily inhabit a rather uncomfortable but familiar space between butch lesbian and FTM.
odd_boi_out is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-29-2014, 03:31 AM   #46
Stud_puppy1991
Member

How Do You Identify?:
butch, gentleman
Preferred Pronoun?:
Hy, Hym, "Hey Handsome", and also throwing in a "Sup man" or a "You're sexy" will work
Relationship Status:
Back to Bachelorhood
 
Stud_puppy1991's Avatar
 

Join Date: May 2011
Location: Louisville, Kentucky
Posts: 586
Thanks: 499
Thanked 994 Times in 361 Posts
Rep Power: 7051410
Stud_puppy1991 Has the BEST ReputationStud_puppy1991 Has the BEST ReputationStud_puppy1991 Has the BEST ReputationStud_puppy1991 Has the BEST ReputationStud_puppy1991 Has the BEST ReputationStud_puppy1991 Has the BEST ReputationStud_puppy1991 Has the BEST ReputationStud_puppy1991 Has the BEST ReputationStud_puppy1991 Has the BEST ReputationStud_puppy1991 Has the BEST ReputationStud_puppy1991 Has the BEST Reputation
Default

I'm 23 now, but I had known I was different since I was around 4 or 5, got my first girl crush when I was 12, but I had thought about girls a bit before then. I identified as bi for a short while, as i wasn't sure yet if I was bi or completely gay. Then, at 13, I had my first relationship with a girl and this was also my first sexual encounter with one. And I was in love with this girl, hardcore, yet, I still wasn't at full terms with being gay just yet. I went back to dating guys, only to realize that it did nothing for me but make me empty and numb. Whenever they kissed me or we made love, I couldn't stop thinking about my first time with my ex, her and I. And I couldn't stop thinking of women in general. So then, years later, when i was 18, I came out, this time as a lesbian. It wasn't easy, as my family life fell apart and bigotry filled my life, but I made it. And, I couldn't be prouder.
Stud_puppy1991 is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Stud_puppy1991 For This Useful Post:
Old 06-10-2014, 08:41 PM   #47
VanyllaVenom
Junior Member

How Do You Identify?:
Femme
Preferred Pronoun?:
She
Relationship Status:
Single
 
VanyllaVenom's Avatar
 

Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: Central Florida
Posts: 4
Thanks: 16
Thanked 13 Times in 4 Posts
Rep Power: 0
VanyllaVenom Has the BEST ReputationVanyllaVenom Has the BEST ReputationVanyllaVenom Has the BEST ReputationVanyllaVenom Has the BEST ReputationVanyllaVenom Has the BEST ReputationVanyllaVenom Has the BEST ReputationVanyllaVenom Has the BEST ReputationVanyllaVenom Has the BEST ReputationVanyllaVenom Has the BEST ReputationVanyllaVenom Has the BEST ReputationVanyllaVenom Has the BEST Reputation
Default About Me

I wasn't sure where to post, but I'll try here. Sorry for length

I'm almost 31, and recently am coming out for the second time. I was brought up Catholic, very traditional white upper class. I didn't even know what gay was until middle school. Of course everything I had was fru fru and pink, barbies, make-up, dress-up, etc. When I was 7, me and a girl from school played "doctor" naked, and then I started to really get confused.

Fast forward to 7th grade (worst time of my life), my best friend who was the opposite of me - extroverted, popular, etc.... told everyone I was gay. Not sure why but I guess that's life. I was crushed because I knew this was not "acceptable", being young and from a small town, so I rarely attended school from then on.

I met my next group of friends in 8th grade. One of my best friends wasn't feminine at all, and I had her sleep over once, and I just couldn't help myself and attacked her lol. I never talked to her again, I was afraid to. I thought she would tell everyone that I really WAS gay.

I moved away, and for years just labeled myself as bisexual. I came out as gay when I was 23, had a few relationships and after reading a lot of things on the internet, realized what might have happened in my last relationship and that it wasn't my fault, which helps a lot.

I'm only out to my mom, and I think my brother knows but he would support me. It's hard looking like a feminine female and meeting people I like around me.

Thanks for having this thread!
VanyllaVenom is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to VanyllaVenom For This Useful Post:
Old 01-01-2015, 01:36 PM   #48
clodie
Junior Member

How Do You Identify?:
Femme
Preferred Pronoun?:
Always she
 

Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: Europe
Posts: 6
Thanks: 7
Thanked 19 Times in 6 Posts
Rep Power: 0
clodie Has the BEST Reputationclodie Has the BEST Reputationclodie Has the BEST Reputationclodie Has the BEST Reputationclodie Has the BEST Reputationclodie Has the BEST Reputationclodie Has the BEST Reputationclodie Has the BEST Reputationclodie Has the BEST Reputationclodie Has the BEST Reputationclodie Has the BEST Reputation
Default

I realised I like girls when I was 13-14 and as shallow as it might seem... I was actually pretty excited about this discovery. Although I always preferred girls, I didn't technically dislike boys. Sure if there was a boy and a girl I'd go for the girl... but with no other choice, a guy was almost as good, for a while anyway. I thought I'd rather be a lesbian, I saw straight and gay people as two distinctive groups with nothing in between - and it made me feel like I didn't belong to any of them.

Due to my circumstances I was very isolated as a teenager. I changed school, made two friends and pretty much ignored everyone else. When I first mentioned an upcoming gay parade, I found that one of them wasn't accepting and so I changed the topic. It was a bit shocking, being hated for simply being who I am by a person I considered a friend. I never told her about it and instead I grew closer with the other friend with whom I eventually shared the secret. She was accepting and didn't seem surprised by it.

Unfortunately it didn't end well... she was fine with me liking girls, but turned out to be a bitch. Despite being my friend for many years, after we had a fight, she outed me to strangers (who didn't care, but that's beyond the point) and then she threatened to tell my parents. I'm not close with them, but I know them well enough to know it wouldn't be accepted. I really feared being kicked out of the house and at that time I didn't have any other friends who could help me... I literary wouldn't know what to do and the fear was real. Because I felt she could do it (she was crazy) I was forced to come out to my dad who I knew was a bit more accepting (my mum literary wishes death to people like me). I told him about it so that he wouldn't let her meet my mum... I came out as bi which I think made things a bit easier. When it was all over and my dad told me not to tell my mum and that I won't be kicked out I just cried in my room for a long time because of the stress I went through with the risk of being homeless. He also told me not to share it with people, as if what happened was my fault.

I'm in college now and open about it... but I recently found out that no one outside of my group actually knows because apparently I don't look gay. So even when I mention something or someone hears something else they just dismiss it and forget. My mum still doesn't know and my dad pretends it went away because we never brought it up again.
clodie is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to clodie For This Useful Post:
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -6. The time now is 09:52 AM.


ButchFemmePlanet.com
All information copyright of BFP 2018