Ask a trans person!

[Jet]

Today was my first injection

[Jet]

Thanks dudes,
For your responses and reps today

J

[Thinker]

Originally Posted by Jet

Today was my first injection

*two thumbs up*

Good luck with all of it, Parker.

[Jet]

Originally Posted by Thinker

*two thumbs up*

Good luck with all of it, Parker.

Thank you.

[Linus]

FYI for American trans individuals: http://www.pamshouseblend.com/diary/...t-applications

This bodes well.

[CamBAMF]

Originally Posted by Braedon

I personally also want to thank you for starting this thread Linus. I have been going through alot lately when it comes to questioning My gender, and after going to an FTM group meeting at the local GLBT community center this past Tuesday I feel that I am more sure about alot of things than I was before. I sat among eight FTM's and listened to their struggles, their coming out stories, how they feel now and felt before about their change and even though most of them were on T and have been for awhile I felt Myself nodding and identifying with each of them.

I guess I have a few questions that I will start out with, since I know that we have all started somewhere. I'll begin with just a few basic ones:

1) When did you begin feeling like you were different?

2) Did you always know that you should have been born the opposite sex, or did that come abit later though you always knew you were different?

3) When did you decide to come out, and how did you come out?


I am out as trans (FTM) to certain people that I know online as well as those at the FTM group I attended but not to anyone else. A big part of Me wants to come out to family and friends so I can finally outright be who I am on the inside, but there is still that part of Me that is scared to do so. I am really looking to just connect with other FTM's (as well as MTF's) and relate to those who have gone through the journey, or perhaps those like Me really just beginning it, so that I can know that I'm not alone.

I totally feel you. I came out as trans 3 or 4 years ago, and I was scared too... The whole thing was so perminant. I literally only started transitioning in October, 2009.

1) my earliest trans memory was at three, I was taking a bath, and I guess I looked really sad. My mom asked what was wrong and I told her god had made a mistake, that I was suppose to be a boy. However, I always knew I was different, I was just never able to actually put my finger on what it was about me that was different. I guess I already had the answer at 3 years old and just never knew it.

2) I always knew I was different, and I had a lot of issues with gender roles. But I had no words. To my knowledge there was nothing to discribe me. I was just a wierd butch dyke. It didnt fit exactly who I was but it was the closest I could get. That was until college. I met a MTF in my community college GLBT group named Acosha. and she changed my life. her story was crude and hard to believe. she was thrown out of her home, and did back ally botox. but when she talked about how she felt I connected to her right away. It was how I felt, only opposite genders. I didnt like that. Im not gonna lie, I thought trans people were wierd and I didnt want to be like that. I tried not to. but then my social worker basically said there was no way around it, and i saw a senior gender specialist, and i guess i worked my way into a whole new community.

3) It was about a year after I met Acosha so around 18 years old. I told my mom first, and my mom blurted it out to my dad. my mom is good to get the word around the family. My dads family doesnt really talk about these things, and so we just never discussed it, but my moms family asked a whole lot of questions. I told my closest friends, and everyone was cool with it. not a single person abandoned me or disowned me- to my surprise.

[CamBAMF]

Originally Posted by Dylan

I have a question for the transguys. I'm NOT asking anyone but transguys.

I'd like to know what y'all think about a transguy who is read as male, who wants to be read as male, who has had top surgery, and who is on hormones...but yet uses the women's restroom (on occasion), and who gets ticked off when women in the restroom get upset that he's in there.


Thanks,
Dylan

I think hes scared. I mean I was scared too, girlfriend at the time had to push me to use the guys bathroom. I started doing so, but only if it was empty and I had a switch blade on me. I've ease up a bit since the T and I also have a MANGO product called a Pack-N-Pee...

The reality is trans hatred is one of the biggest (if not the biggest) portion of hate crimes committed against the LGBT. Statistics show that when a hate crime is committed agaisnt the Trans is typically physical, and very often fatal. and we're not talking simple either... like decapatated, burned, beaten, stabbed forty time, dragged by a vehicle kinda deaths. now most often this happens to MTF transgenders (maybe because there is more of them, or because it is less socially accepted) You can read the names, country, and how they died on Trans Rememberance website. These hate-crime more often then not take place in gendered areas (bathrooms, lockerooms, etc.)

So for a FTM its far easier, in my opinion, to reason with females. Worst case senrio T makes it easier to fight off a female also. But there is less fear of rape and/or death in a female bathroom

[Linus]

Originally Posted by CamBAMF

So for a FTM its far easier, in my opinion, to reason with females. Worst case senrio T makes it easier to fight off a female also. But there is less fear of rape and/or death in a female bathroom

Cam, I think I will have to disagree with you on this paragraph. I don't know if it is easier to "reason with females". I think like most people, if someone is open they will be easier to reason with (female, male or purple-people eater). Additionally, from what I have seen/heard most females, if a male is found in the bathroom will call on big <insert male figure> to come in and either attempt to enforce "gender bathroom mores" or drag the offending male out. Don't forget, as well, that some women can kick your ass. Just because you're a guy doesn't mean they are weak.

Lastly, the idea that there is less fear of rape and/or death in the female bathroom -- do you mean this for the FTM or the woman? I think I can understand it from an FTMs point of view but from a woman's point of view, based on the stuff that is happening here in America, there is this long standing idea that the bathroom is safe as long as it's all women. If a man's there, he's there only to rape/kill. And since, what seems to be a large segment of America, believes that MTFs are not women but men.. well, then them being there is to rape/kill or perv on kids.

[Liam]

Originally Posted by CamBAMF

I think hes scared. I mean I was scared too, girlfriend at the time had to push me to use the guys bathroom. I started doing so, but only if it was empty and I had a switch blade on me. I've ease up a bit since the T and I also have a MANGO product called a Pack-N-Pee...

The reality is trans hatred is one of the biggest (if not the biggest) portion of hate crimes committed against the LGBT. Statistics show that when a hate crime is committed agaisnt the Trans is typically physical, and very often fatal. and we're not talking simple either... like decapatated, burned, beaten, stabbed forty time, dragged by a vehicle kinda deaths. now most often this happens to MTF transgenders (maybe because there is more of them, or because it is less socially accepted) You can read the names, country, and how they died on Trans Rememberance website. These hate-crime more often then not take place in gendered areas (bathrooms, lockerooms, etc.)

So for a FTM its far easier, in my opinion, to reason with females. Worst case senrio T makes it easier to fight off a female also. But there is less fear of rape and/or death in a female bathroom

I won't dispute your fear—it is after all, yours, but I must confess that I am far more comfortable in the men's room, than I am in the women's.

[CamBAMF]

Originally Posted by Dylan

1. Have you found that people expect you to be more in control of your reactions/emotions to things? I get excited about some things, and I'm noticing there's a reprimand accompanied with getting too excited.

2. Have you found that (if you're read as straight) more people assume it's acceptable to make homophobic jokes and comments in your presence?

1) Yea I totally get that all the time. Actually, it's funny only because that seems to give people the idea that I'm a gay man.

2) I don't get this, but that could be that I only really hang with people who are lesbian/gay, people who knew me before my transition, and other social work majors. I'm very weary about who I'm hanging out with. (I can have some serisou anxiety)

[Jet]

Originally Posted by Dylan

Grant,

I don't know the reason for his using it. I just heard the story about how he gave the lady (who complained) a bunch of shit and laughed at her.

Personally, I find it completely disrespectful, and honestly, I kind of wanted to kick his ass. I mean, A) I don't understand why you would pound your fist about being male only to then use the ladies' room and B) I don't understand why you would intentionally make women uncomfortable.

And frankly, it pisses me off. I don't know exactly WHY it pisses me off, but it does. I mean, I can't imagine any other man I would *allow* to use the women's room, and then give women shit when they get upset that there's a man in the restroom. And I also don't understand WHY you would want to use the women's restroom EXCEPT to start shit.


Dylan

P.S. It pisses me off in the same way butches who claim they don't 'clean', because that's 'women's work', but then refuse to 'take out the trash', because they're women too...you know what I mean?

I wonder if its just not accepting whats happening in being male and transiting..the comfort level may not be there yet.

[Soon]

It may not seem possible to those of us who gaze longingly at Canada's progressive laws for LGBT citizens, but transgender folks are not explicitly protected by anti-discrimination legislation there. That may be about to change.

A private member’s bill seeking human-rights protection for transgender and transsexual Canadians passed second reading in the House of Commons on June 8. The third time might be the charm for Bill Siksay, the NDP MP for Burnaby-Douglas, who has tabled similar bills twice before, none of which have made it this far in the legislative process. “This is a big, historic step,” Siksay told the Straight in a phone interview from Ottawa. “It’s an indication that there is interest and support for this.” Bill C-389 seeks to amend the Canadian Human Rights Act and Criminal Code to add gender identity and gender expression as prohibited grounds for discrimination. Siksay, the NDP’s critic for gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender issues, said there wasn’t any “outright” opposition to the bill, which was supported by Liberal, NDP, and Bloc Québécois MPs.

Prime Minister Stephen Harper's Conservative government says the trans rights act is "redundant and that trans people are already protected under the grounds of sex and disability in the Canadian Human Rights Act." They also complain that the bill doesn't define gender identity and gender expression. The bill now moves to the House of Commons Standing Committee on Justice and Human Rights for "detailed consideration."

[Dylan]

Originally Posted by CamBAMF

These hate-crime more often then not take place in gendered areas (bathrooms, lockerooms, etc.)

So for a FTM its far easier, in my opinion, to reason with females. Worst case senrio T makes it easier to fight off a female also. But there is less fear of rape and/or death in a female bathroom

I agree with many things you've said here, but I disagree that most often hate crimes take place in gendered areas. This would mean most hate crimes against MTFs take place in women's restrooms and locker rooms, and I just don't buy that, because most hate crimes against trans-individuals (as I hate hate hate the terms 'The Trans' and 'transgenders') are not perpetrated by women.

Most hate crimes committed against the trans community are perpetrated by men against MTFs (and there's not more MTFs, the actual guesstimate is closer to 50/50) in public areas like on the street, or they were followed home, etc.

Also, I personally, don't find it any easier to "reason with females". I don't even really know what you mean there, honestly. I've always had the absolute worst time in women's restrooms, and I can't imagine ever going back in there. There's no 'reasoning' with anyone when you've scared them...especially when it comes to women being in fear of a man in the restroom. But I don't even know how I *would* 'reason' with a woman in the restroom that I *belong* there at this point. And if I *were* to end up in the women's restroom, I really wouldn't be 'fighting them off'...because I just don't belong there, and they have a very valid reason to protect themselves. But this also means that MTFs would have an easier time 'fighting off' women (if it were women committing most of the violent crimes against MTFs) in the restroom, being that MTFs have 'had all those years sharing their bodies with testosterone'. But as we all know, women aren't going to stand in the restroom and 'fight off' an intruder. Instead, they're going to go find a security guard, police officer, etc (as many of us here can attest to having had done to us when women think 'there's a man in the bathroom).

And again, I don't want to dispute your fear, because it's yours, but I wish I'd have started using the men's farrrrrrrrrr earlier than I did. If I'd had known how much less crap I was in for in the men's room, I'd have done it 20 years ago. I'm wayyyyyyyyyyy less apprehensive about using the men's room, because no one even looks at you. I've only had one experience where any man ever even bothered to look at me, and he was just a chatty old guy who sidled up to the urinal next to me and started carrying on about his day. Even when I didn't pass, men didn't say a word. For me, personally, I am MUCH less 'afraid' in the men's room. For ME, I DO think being able to use the urinal helps a lot with any apprehension.


My Thoughts,
Dylan

ETA: I find it incredibly privileged and just...gross...that an FTM would use the women's restroom if they pass and live as male.

P.P.S. I also find it attention seeking

[Rufusboi]

I've been using the men's bathroom for about 9 years now. And it was mostly because of the bad reactions I received in the women's bathroom. I was getting hassled too much, confronted, grabbed, had security called on me (I was in line for the bathroom and the security guard reached and grabbed for me to pull me out of line). I don't have problems in the men's bathroom. Men don't make eye contact. It took me a lot of years to get the nerve up to use the men's bathroom because I thought I would have problems in there and get hurt. Once I finally got the nerve up and learned that men don't even look up, then I started using the men's room exclusively.

I think women are very protective of the bathroom space. As Melissa says, its more of an event in there. Women are talking, changing their kid's diapers, taking their kid's to the bathroom, putting on make up, brushing hair, checking clothes.

Men just pee and leave. I don't use the urinals. Every men's room has a stall with a door and a lock.

Rufus

[TCB]

Originally Posted by Dylan
I have a question for the transguys. I'm NOT asking anyone but transguys.

I'd like to know what y'all think about a transguy who is read as male, who wants to be read as male, who has had top surgery, and who is on hormones...but yet uses the women's restroom (on occasion), and who gets ticked off when women in the restroom get upset that he's in there.


Thanks,
Dylan

I couldn't find the original post, so I just had to copy and paste the question.
To be quite honest, it's beyond me why any trans male (particularly that far into transition) would want to use the women's restroom. It defeats the purpose of everything he is doing if you ask me.
It actually frustrates me and is very disrespectful. Unless he feels he has some sense of privilege, that on it's own is very concerning.

Not to mention, why in the hell would you look to create a problem like that?
You can be damn sure those women in the restroom will not like him being there. UNDERSTANDABLY
It's beyond me.

[The Oopster]

I have to say I think I used a woman's restroom once out of desperation. We were at a gay bar and the men's bathroom had a urinal and a stall without a door. I wasn't equipped to pee standing up so I used the woman's. Fortunately I was still on the cusp at the time of passing and I also just used it way before the night got started and just made sure I didn't have to pee til we wer out of there.

Another time I was somewhere and the men's was out of order and I really had to go ... but just went and looked for another one. At this pt I just wouldn't be comfortable using the woman's no matter what unless it is a single locked door and the men's is broken and I really really really have to go.

Now I've also learned how to pee sitting down in a matter that no one would be the wiser. Some of the stalls i frequent don't lock well so I have learned how to sit so no one can tell. I need to come up with a new stp .... I have one piece ... just need to get the medical tubing next ... then figure out the best way to contrive the thingy. Right now I'm just lazy ... I drive a lot so try to get a 2fer when I can.

[Jet]

I think id have to have more than peach fuzz to use the men;s room.

Originally Posted by Rufusboi

I've been using the men's bathroom for about 9 years now. And it was mostly because of the bad reactions I received in the women's bathroom. I was getting hassled too much, confronted, grabbed, had security called on me (I was in line for the bathroom and the security guard reached and grabbed for me to pull me out of line). I don't have problems in the men's bathroom. Men don't make eye contact. It took me a lot of years to get the nerve up to use the men's bathroom because I thought I would have problems in there and get hurt. Once I finally got the nerve up and learned that men don't even look up, then I started using the men's room exclusively.

I think women are very protective of the bathroom space. As Melissa says, its more of an event in there. Women are talking, changing their kid's diapers, taking their kid's to the bathroom, putting on make up, brushing hair, checking clothes.

Men just pee and leave. I don't use the urinals. Every men's room has a stall with a door and a lock.

Rufus

[CamBAMF]

Hey Everyone!

I have a question; and it may be a little silly.

So, I never (and I mean never) went to Gynaecolist. Once, before I even knew I was trans, I had a breast exam done by a family doctor, who also went to make sure all the parts down below were still in working condition. Fortunately I had my period and that exam never took place.

Very lately I've been thinking/ worring that maybe I should see one. I mean I am a sexually active trans-guy. I rarely use any kind of protection. If for nothing else, I should be seeing someone for a base exam.

1) If you're pre-op (top and bottom) do you still need to see a doctor for your genital regions.
2)If so how often are you suppose to go? Do you still have to get like anual mamograms
3)What kind of doctor are you suppose to see? (I mean I feel like they'll totally laugh at me if I walk into an OBGYN's office)

[CamBAMF]

Originally Posted by Linus

Cam, I think I will have to disagree with you on this paragraph. I don't know if it is easier to "reason with females". I think like most people, if someone is open they will be easier to reason with (female, male or purple-people eater). Additionally, from what I have seen/heard most females, if a male is found in the bathroom will call on big <insert male figure> to come in and either attempt to enforce "gender bathroom mores" or drag the offending male out. Don't forget, as well, that some women can kick your ass. Just because you're a guy doesn't mean they are weak.

Lastly, the idea that there is less fear of rape and/or death in the female bathroom -- do you mean this for the FTM or the woman? I think I can understand it from an FTMs point of view but from a woman's point of view, based on the stuff that is happening here in America, there is this long standing idea that the bathroom is safe as long as it's all women. If a man's there, he's there only to rape/kill. And since, what seems to be a large segment of America, believes that MTFs are not women but men.. well, then them being there is to rape/kill or perv on kids.

Good Point!

[Dylan]

Originally Posted by Jet

I think id have to have more than peach fuzz to use the men;s room.

So, does that mean you're going to wait until you have a full beard before you stop using the women's restroom?


Dylan