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Old 09-26-2016, 07:47 PM   #101
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i'm not sure about that, it really depends, it shouldn't be a given.
I'm just pointing out that it can happen in any relationship that isn't poly/mono.
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Old 09-26-2016, 07:54 PM   #102
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It depends on the people involved and the nature of their wants, their needs and their agreements. Every relationship is different in so many ways on so many levels, layers can be endless. Ultimately, in life, everything comes down to mutual respect and honesty (with ourselves and the rest of the world).
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Old 09-26-2016, 08:04 PM   #103
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It depends on the people involved and the nature of their wants, their needs and their agreements. Every relationship is different in so many ways on so many levels, layers can be endless. Ultimately, in life, everything comes down to mutual respect and honesty (with ourselves and the rest of the world).
Yes on the respect and honesty.
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Old 09-26-2016, 08:46 PM   #104
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Taking a chance could be the best thing some folks ever do for themselves and their relationships.

Oh agreed but it could also be a ticking time bomb waiting for just that right moment. In my opinion you should prepare for both to minmize any damage. Just a thought.
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Old 09-26-2016, 09:12 PM   #105
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Oh agreed but it could also be a ticking time bomb waiting for just that right moment. In my opinion you should prepare for both to minmize any damage. Just a thought.
Alix or al
Right, there are always risks and preparations are a good thing just in case.
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Old 10-31-2016, 10:23 PM   #106
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Bump bump.....
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Old 11-07-2016, 06:19 PM   #107
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In MY experience, yes.

I am polyamorous, and for the last 16 years I have only been with monogamous people. It was/are always committed long term relationships, and people I have been with and am with knew from the start my situation - it just happens that they were/are mono.

Honesty, communication and transparency and mutual respect were and are the keys for me and my partners.
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Old 11-07-2016, 08:48 PM   #108
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In MY experience, yes.

I am polyamorous, and for the last 16 years I have only been with monogamous people. It was/are always committed long term relationships, and people I have been with and am with knew from the start my situation - it just happens that they were/are mono.

Honesty, communication and transparency and mutual respect were and are the keys for me and my partners.
What about if one partner becomes controlling with the main partner, while the main partner becomes dependent on the controlling partner?

I'm the one partner in this poly mono deal that isn't controlling or dependent but this is what I'm dealing with in my current situation.
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Old 04-20-2017, 03:21 AM   #109
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i feel it can work if all parties are open, honest and do not have underlying issues/agendas/feelings that are unknown to the other parties.

i think we all have a poly heart in some way, in that we are capable of loving more than one human being (polyamourous) but how we interact with others is where the real work comes in.
bumping this right here. i still feel this way.

this life is work, hard work. But i love it.

i do not believe that anyone one person could be my end all, be all. They could surely be the love of my life, my one true love, my *person*, my Master, my soulmate, my whatever....... but no one being could be my everything.

Nor could i be their everything. There is no reason why we can't enjoy things in another loving relationship that we cannot enjoy with our person.

Sex is a prime example, there is much that i am just not into, and don't want to be. If my person wants to experience those things with someone else, and still bring to our relationship everything that got us to that point, why should they not?


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Old 04-20-2017, 04:48 AM   #110
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I think it can work for others just not for Me... I am a 1 woman kinda Guy and I am very open about that with My partner... it comes down to communication and openness...
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Old 04-20-2017, 03:17 PM   #111
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I think it can work for others just not for Me... I am a 1 woman kinda Guy and I am very open about that with My partner... it comes down to communication and openness...
and of course that is just great, but you know not to get involved with poly folk, we are wired much differently.
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Old 04-20-2017, 08:28 PM   #112
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I'm single now but talking about experiences is a good thing.
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Old 04-21-2017, 02:15 AM   #113
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I'm single now but talking about experiences is a good thing.
Yes its the only thing we have to go by isn't it?

my life in poly let me know i love it, it also showed me how badly things can turn out if everyone is not on the same page, and if someone is going along with things to avoid causing a breakdown of the unit.
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Old 04-21-2017, 02:35 AM   #114
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Default thoughts!

Some people think having a poly heart is one that never experiences insecurities. That is not true.

People in mono relationships have told me i am cold and i don't care . i guess this is because i don't get all freaked out if i think they are noticing someone. i have an "ohhh yes i could see why you are attracted to her" attitude...or hey "invite her over"..... i usually don't feel threatened unless there is something else going on. If someone is going to leave, being jealous won't make them stay. For me, it will push me out the door. i want my person to be loved up on in every way from whoever they invite in, as long as our relationship is rock SOLID, the communication and connection is there, i know i am good and enjoy knowing they are happy.

Thats what a true poly heart is IMO. Having a rock solid relationship that allows you to feel joy for that person even when they are with someone else. While i can have many lovers, and am a terrible flirt, that one relationship is at the core always. Its where the strength comes from for me.

THEN there are the times where emotions come up and slap you in the face. Emotions you don't recognize or know what to do with. It feels ugly. You feel ashamed. For me when this happens i have to dig deep and find out why. This is the hard stuff that i like to overcome.

This lifestyle is certainly not for everyone, but having a chosen family is the greatest, most greatest gift.
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