Are you OUT at work?

[ruthie14]

Not out at work. I am a nursery school teacher and people sometimes get wierded out when your job involves children. The only people at work that know is one teacher who was my friend before I worked there and my only set of lesbian parents. Wish I could..but you can still lose your job in NJ for being gay. Wouldn't be a safe move.

[MysticOceansFL]

Does it really matter if your out at work , How you perform your job and get along with others isnt based on your lifestyle now is it ?

[lipstixgal]

Originally Posted by MysticOceansFL

Does it really matter if your out at work , How you perform your job and get along with others isnt based on your lifestyle now is it ?

So true so true well said I don't think I will come out at work when I get a job that is if there are any jobs!!

[Chancie]

Originally Posted by lipstixgal

Oh G-d no I wasn't out at school either only in the gay and lesbian group did I come out. It was very homophobic and since I live very close to NYC you would think otherwise but I think that the population that was there(mostly hispanic and black) it was a cultural thing, everyone was either with a boyfriend or pregnant!! As for teh internship I don't think so I would like to be though but I don't think so..

I want to make sure I understand what you are saying.

Did you mean that because your classmates are hispanic and black, everyone had a boyfriend or was pregnant?

[bright_arrow]

The only female co-worker I have ever known to have a problem with it was because she saw me as 'competition', apparently. Yes, for another female's attention.

Seriously? Seriously.

Everyone at my prior job knows of my girlfriend, many have seen her with me and/or met her as well.

I won't put it in your face, but I will mention my girlfriend as such.

[bright_arrow]

Originally Posted by Chancie

I want to make sure I understand what you are saying.

Did you mean that because your classmates are hispanic and black, everyone had a boyfriend or was pregnant?

I read it as the people she was around were homophobic because they were other cultures and therefore different cultures from her? I took the next part of the sentence as an observation - the other females either had a boyfriend, or were pregnant - therefore not a lesbian.

[Apocalipstic]

Originally Posted by MysticOceansFL

Does it really matter if your out at work , How you perform your job and get along with others isnt based on your lifestyle now is it ?

I think it does matter.

It matters to us that we don't have to lie about our lives or live closed off. It is not healthy.

It matters to the Community, that there are role models of Queer professionals they can look up to.

It matters politically that we have an OUT voice and are counted as constituency when laws are suggested.

We would not have the rights we have today if the Gay/Lesbian/Queer people who came ahead of us had not come out.

I could cite many more reasons.....

I think it is of utmost importance.

[pajama]

Well considering most of my co-workers are on my FB. I would say that's a big ole yes. Especially after the Reunion pictures. bwahahahahahahaha

[JustJo]

I work remotely from home and my colleagues know me via phone and email...plus one company-wide meeting a year. I know virtually nothing about most of my co-workers and they know virtually nothing about me.

As far as my closest work buddies (like my work partner, who describes himself as a fruit)....yes, I'm out. My work partner's statement when he saw a pic of Scoote... "ooooohhhh she's all cute and butch and stuff."

My company includes full same-sex partner benefits and includes "sexual and gender orientation" in their non-discrimination policy. I only ever heard of one person giving gay colleagues a difficult time. He was fired.

[JustJo]

Originally Posted by scootebaby

yes i am,and have been for a very long time...regardless where i work...all my employees know and have met Jo and know she is my girlfriend/partner....my coworkers at the other stores know and have also met JO

They wouldn't dare say anything honey...they want those chocolate chip cookies!

[princessbelle]

I am out more than I thought I would ever be at work. It's not common knowledge but I have told a few people that are close and then there are also some gay people there that are out and they know as well.

I don't discuss it for just any old reason. But, if someone is trying to fix me up (rme) as in wanting me to meet their brother for the 5th time (rme again) I finally just tell them so I can get on with things and try and hang out with the few that know my sexual preference without all that stuff.

My boss also knows because i felt that was important in case i am someday in a relationship and my partner or their family get sick/die etc.

I have been totally accepted by it all at least to my face. It makes me more comfortable and i'm glad i've at least told the few that I have.

[ravfem]

my first "adult" job was working admin for a very conservative doctor (he was a Bob Jones man, for those of you who know BJU). i came out within my first month of being there, and brought my (then) gf to the holiday get-togethers. During my time there, BJU was asking the city for public tax money to remodel their art museum, and i was one of a handful who were openly protesting it.

At the county council meeting regarding it, the local news station got me speaking about it. The next day at work, he told me he had seen me on tv, and thought i was very articulate. i took that as a huge compliment! i worked for him for 4 years before moving away from the city for a year. When i ran into him at the grocery store not long after moving back, he asked me on the spot to come back to work for him.

i was out at every job after that. The hardest was when i was with my TG ex. It was before he'd started medically transitioning, but was already referred to as "he". That took my co-workers & boss a while to grasp - that i was a lesbian with a "woman" who wanted to be a man. But they were good sports and he was always included in office get-togethers.

Personally, for me, it *does* matter to be as out as possible, though i completely understand that not everyone feels comfortable or safe coming out.

[Kobi]

I have never hidden who I was in the workplace. I have always referred to my partners by name and used the term partner without even a second thought. I have brought partners to company events and they were readily accepted and welcomed.

For me, being a lesbian is just a part of the person I am. It doesnt define who I am or what I am about as a person in and of itself. And, I have never encountered a negative response, so it never occurs to me to hide it. It also never occurs to me to make a big deal out of it i.e. I dont ever remember having a coming out to someone talk. I just live my life.

I'm blessed to live in an such an accepting area with such super coworkers.

[TIMBERWOLF]

Yes Im out to my staff and company. Thats one of the reason i got hired. My Office Manager is gay and he wanted a gay person to work for him. Most of our company is gay. As far as patients , no and if they ask we explain to them that they aren't there to wonder about sexual orientation but to receive treatment. Im sure that the gentlemen would have a problem with him when he is handling their testicles or the females with me as im in their inguinal lymphnodes or moving their breast out of the way to get to their axillary lymphnodes.
WT is out at her work and she gets same partner benefits as I was on her insurance until i got my own.
TIMBER

[dixie]

I am very much out at work. Luckily, I have the most awesome bosses and co-workers. Everyone is very open and understanding. In my line of work tolerance and open-mindedness is the only way to do this job, so it just seems natural that the folks I come in contact with have no issues. My boss is also very proud of her bi sexuality, but has not been in the community as much. Therefore, since I am the "token queer girl" (a joke between me and the boss) and have a few more connections in the community, I have become the transitioning liason. I work with folks who are interested in beginning the transitioning process by connecting them with outside resources such as support groups (other than the one we have here), counselors and therapists, and other doctors/surgeons and such. I am very out and proud in all other areas of my life, so I am very happy that I am able to include my workplace in this as well.

[Laerkin]

For me, it's a matter of visibility.

My company does not offer gay benefits of any kind, so in our continuing fight for equality it's very important that some of us prove being "out" at work does not impact anything at all. In fact, we are proving that those of us within the LGBT community at the office are quite valuable.

I am out, but I don't loudly advertise. I talk about Pride in June, I talk about my ex Michelle from time to time and I talk about the adventures SB and I are constantly going on. I have pictures of all of my friends in frames on my desk (and a large proportion are same-sex couples). But there is no agenda, there are no rainbows, there are no obnoxious conversations. I am incredibly respectful.

The VP of Human Resources has met with me on several occasions for various gay-related issues and she is constantly encouraging me to be myself, to share my life in the same way everyone else shares their lives, to have gentle and honest dialog because that's the only way progress will happen. The people around me need to know I'm gay before they'll start supporting gay initiatives and gay equality because they won't realize the impact their silence will have on someone they care about if they don't know the person next to them is gay.

I am on the LGBT Equality Committee at work. Upper management is constantly trying to shut us down, discourage our work, silence us through small, irritating little gestures.

So yes, being out at work is very important. The only way the company is going to offer gay benefits and give the LGBT employees equal pay is if we make ourselves known, if we walk the halls without shame, if we make it clear to people that we are vital, valuable, reliable, responsible, smart employees regardless of our lifestyle and that we deserve to be treated fairly.

I will not go silently or let them treat me unfairly without a fight. It's a good company that's done amazing things for me, but that doesn't mean they don't have room for improvement and this is something I will fight for. If I don't fight, who will?

The LGBT Committee regularly submits proposals and budget plans for extending gay benefits, meets with HR on issues and visibility, we encourage people to join the list (both gay and straight) to maintain communication about the latest events and developments in each of our offices...it's frustrating, irritating, disheartening and very very necessary.

I do not expect special treatment, but I do expect fair treatment and equal pay and compensation for the work I do especially because I'm in management and work my ass off for them.

So yes - performance is important, but every single one of us are excellent performers at work (most of us are in management in some form or another) and being out is imperative if we are going to ensure that future generations at the company have a shot at fair and equal treatment.

Originally Posted by MysticOceansFL

Does it really matter if your out at work , How you perform your job and get along with others isnt based on your lifestyle now is it ?

[Rockinonahigh]

Over the years I mostly was self employed or worked for othe ppl in the equine work force,for the most part my sexuality never has been an issue to any one.I dont flaunt it but dont deny it either..but with me being as big as I am and walking like a tank its hard to not know im queer.The only time I ever had a problem was when I worked for one of the casinos hear with my boss harrasing me about it so bad I had to quit to get away from it and him..yes I reported it but as there were no whitnesses who would tell it like it was for fear of there jobs, hr called it hear say.When I was in college in my last semester I had a big prob with a instructor giveing me hell about it but as I only had the rest of the quarter to do I sucked it up...no I didnt like doing that but I did it to get out with my diploma and be gone.

[dreadgeek]

Originally Posted by MysticOceansFL

Does it really matter if your out at work , How you perform your job and get along with others isnt based on your lifestyle now is it ?

Yes, it matters. It matters because being 'out' at work can be accomplished with one simple sentence "This weekend my wife and I just puttered about the house..." At that moment, I am out. Even if I just changed the word 'wife' to 'girlfriend' or 'partner' I would STILL be out. Now, I suppose I could just not talk about my personal life at all with my co-workers and pretend to not exist when I'm not here. But why on Earth would I do that? Why SHOULD I have to do that? If I put a picture of my wife on my desk then I've outted myself. If I say "I love you" when I get off the phone with her, I've outted myself the moment I say who I was speaking with. I refuse to pretend that the woman I love with a depth I did not know I was still capable of is my roommate or some casual acquaintance. She is too important to me for me to do that since I do not HAVE to in order to be economically viable.

My heterosexual coworkers are constantly on about what they did with their husband or wives, or what the kids were doing, or the new person they are dating. Haven't they just stated that they are heterosexual by talking about the road trip to the coast they took with their husband? Why should it be that if I were heterosexual and talked about my husband I would NOT be putting something about my 'lifestyle' out there but if I'm talking about my wife I *am* talking about my 'lifestyle'. I reject that construction out of hand because I do not think that the word 'lifestyle' is appropriate when talking about being queer.

My lifestyle is that of an urban, upper middle-class, professional in middle-age. My being a lesbian is not a 'lifestyle' in much the same way that my being a woman or black isn't a 'lifestyle'.

Cheers
Aj

[Rockinonahigh]

Im not shure how things will go with my new pt job..but im just going to go and do my job,pick up my check on payday.They can think what they like or not,im not advertiseing or denying a thing.I wear a gay pride ring and u can bet this old butch wont be wearing makeup or girlie things to work.This job is in a catholic hospital thats local..im not shure what to make of that so I will cross that bridge when I get to it.Its a desk job in the records office.

[christie]

Like Jen, I think its important to be out at work. It matters to me that I live an authentic life. It matters to me that I believe that to change some of the negative stereotypes, I have to be out.

So yes, I am out at work. Not an easy feat considering the ownership are conservative, white males. However, I am fortunate in that we have established not just a mutually-respectful professional relationship, but also a friendship.

We have had many conversations about equal rights and I have been able to give a more personal perspective to the issue - so much so that Jack has changed his position on marriage equality and is supportive. Its really enheartening when we facilitate that process and it couldn't have been possible if I hadn't been out.

Being a small business with less than 100 employees, we are unable to offer domestic partner benefits, but Jack has stated that the moment its possible, I'm to sign us up!

Given my position of Director of Operations, which encompasses HR, I haven't had a single issue with my managing team nor with the rest of the staff. I am also involved in a new partnership venture with another local company and am also out to these folks. Once the ownership of the other company knew, they shared that they have two gay children and just that commonality eased some of the "get to know you" jitters.

Jess has attended work-related functions with me and I can't tell you how many times a week I am stopped and its not, "Hey Christie - how you doin'?" but rather, "Hey - How's "MY" Jess doin'??" LOL I think they like Jess better than me!!