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Old 05-22-2019, 04:49 PM   #461
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Originally Posted by GeorgiaMa'am View Post
I saw my mom this weekend, and it was much better than the last time I saw her.

We were able to cook together this time; she was able to help more than she could last time.
One of the things I did when visiting my parents when they lived in their last house was not help at times. I needed to see what they were doing and how they were doing it. There were a couple of things I never knew.

My mom's routine was dependent on my dad's needs; once he went into the hospital one day ahead of her (both with pneumonia,) my brother found her in her nightgown at 8 PM having burned something in the microwave. She'd never gotten dressed that day. The tv was on a fuzz channel since she couldn't turn on the cable. We were so concentrated on my dad whose short term memory was gone, we didn't look at my mom.

Hospitals and skilled nursing facilities will work with you when both of your parents are incapable of making their own decisions. My parents both had powers of attorney, etc. These required that they be seen by their PCP and a psychiatrist. The psychiatrist wasn't a problem. PCPs won't visit their patients in a hospital or skilled nursing facility. The patient has to go to them.

I hope your mom has all the needed paperwork to make it easier for you to care for her. I hope you also have this paperwork for yourself.

I hope she continues to remain in her home as long as it is safe and comfortable for her to do so and that any transition is smooth.

Best of luck to you.
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Old 05-22-2019, 06:56 PM   #462
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Femmewench, thank you for your thoughtful words and insights. It's a worthwhile idea to observe my mother when I'm not helping her; it's just so hard to watch her struggle and be frustrated.

I admit I've been remiss in getting all that paperwork completed for myself. Thank goodness we do have everything in order for my mom.

It is my and my sister's goal to have her live in her own home as long as she wants to and is capable of doing so. She already spends about a third of her time at my sister's house, living in her own suite. At some point, I expect she will get tired of bouncing back and forth, but for now it suits her to live in two places.

Best wishes.
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