Butch Femme Planet  

Go Back   Butch Femme Planet > HEALTH: BODY, MIND, SPIRIT > Support: Abuse, Addiction, Coping

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 09-26-2018, 10:26 PM   #2841
LeftWriteFemme
Practically Lives Here

How Do You Identify?:
Daddy's good girl
 

Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Jersey
Posts: 16,642
Thanks: 2,529
Thanked 12,325 Times in 5,198 Posts
Rep Power: 21474867
LeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST Reputation
Default

September 27

PIROUETTES



I turn and spin; the world flashes as I go. I am erect, proud of my self-possession. I can stand the forces of vector rotation, public opinion and gravity. Sobriety has made a dancer out of me. I sprint the stage and take my place. I know the moves and trust, as best I can, the choreographer and the choreography. I feel the wind move on my body as I revolve, the blur of existence spreads out before me. I can let it all pass. To spot myself and keep my upright posture, the only place that requires my clear and unobstructed view is the line of sight from my sponsor’s eyes to mine.


Let your work speak.

*


A Verse to the Wise

Encoding truth into poetry
makes reality survivable by giving readers
the opportunity to dig truth up like diamonds.

Throwing certainty in people’s faces like cold water
gives them a wakeup call but nothing to embrace.
The beauty of semaphore is the dance
that need not be understood by everyone who sees it.

Communication through device
leaves headroom and breathing space
while acceptance might be reached.

The current of a conversation
often leads me to face the facts,
but a tsunami of candor could drown me.



.
__________________
Clicking on these dragon eggs will take you to my new erotic novella:
Dragon Bait .........Hope you enjoy it!
________________________________________________
Please take a look at my work
Click on flashing smilie to see my website

To look at my Daddy/girl erotica book Click on pompom girl to see Elbows on the Table, Palms Flat
LeftWriteFemme is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to LeftWriteFemme For This Useful Post:
Old 09-28-2018, 09:58 PM   #2842
LeftWriteFemme
Practically Lives Here

How Do You Identify?:
Daddy's good girl
 

Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Jersey
Posts: 16,642
Thanks: 2,529
Thanked 12,325 Times in 5,198 Posts
Rep Power: 21474867
LeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST Reputation
Default

September 28

LINEAGE



People stand in the queue and I stare, lost in contemplation and compliance. I weigh the conflicts and complications. Is this the method to clear identification? I think I am better known for the lines I’ve crossed, the times I press between warm souls and force myself to the area beyond. How can I wait my turn for generational stew when the fruit trees bear life for those who break free from ruts and rumbles to bite deeply the flesh of the future? I can’t stand here though I love so many in this line, I cannot love the line itself. I must step through, breathe, stretch my legs and mind, take leave of grids and locks, to live a lonelier but healthier life, all caused by a change in direction.


Enjoy change like flowers before the fruit.

*

Kicks


New balance is more than a brand of sneakers.
New balance is a joyful revelation
made possible through constant vigilance.

I am tap dancing into a vision,
no more soft shoed wishfulness.
I can lift my feet knowing I can keep my up right posture;
my musculature robust from climbing
the steps and accepting direction.

This bright tempo delights me;
I feel stretched, subtle, able-bodied.
Life off the balance beam offers me the world
in which to embrace my equilibrium.



.
__________________
Clicking on these dragon eggs will take you to my new erotic novella:
Dragon Bait .........Hope you enjoy it!
________________________________________________
Please take a look at my work
Click on flashing smilie to see my website

To look at my Daddy/girl erotica book Click on pompom girl to see Elbows on the Table, Palms Flat
LeftWriteFemme is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to LeftWriteFemme For This Useful Post:
Old 10-03-2018, 10:16 PM   #2843
LeftWriteFemme
Practically Lives Here

How Do You Identify?:
Daddy's good girl
 

Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Jersey
Posts: 16,642
Thanks: 2,529
Thanked 12,325 Times in 5,198 Posts
Rep Power: 21474867
LeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST Reputation
Default

October 3

SEAM ALLOWANCE


The space given and taken, the space used to bind us and sew us fast.
The permission for humanness and the need for seams to make us whole. The narrow margin, a shoulder on which I lean, the slender strip a place of refuge.

Darts are snipped to hug the curves; I bend to fit to life.
Our nearness; being my own part and part of more.
Planning, and a pattern cut to order with allowances made for fraying and fragility, allow me to feel woven into a web of what is and still hope for more. The unfinished garment is taking shape, easing and stretching.

And before my eyes, pins held between the teeth of God.


Keep strong words on a high shelf you have access to.

*
Have Faith
Strange and wonderful tragedy
takes you away from me
and I don’t know how it is that you return,
but you do and I thank God,

But I’m not sure it was God’s idea
that you went away or that you came back,
though, I am sure, He missed you every bit as much as I did.

I revolve the freshness of you in my mouth like candy;
I swirl, but don’t want to crack open.
Honeymoons are for people who live comprehendible lives;
we fly to each other and cling like raptors plummeting to the ground.

You leave your mark upon me I do the same for you;
we are none the worse for the wear.
I stand in the gush from the hydrant,
soaked in the pleasure, forgoing the safety.

The world may burn down again tomorrow,
I remember that it has before, but I am wiser for the singeing
and weathered with soot in my eyes and charcoal piled roundabout my legs,
yet I’m still standing and you are back from the dead
and I think of you as Lazarus.

And now we will live the comedy
for life is what lay ahead,
we took the hit of death before its time
and so must be off the hook for the rest.



.
__________________
Clicking on these dragon eggs will take you to my new erotic novella:
Dragon Bait .........Hope you enjoy it!
________________________________________________
Please take a look at my work
Click on flashing smilie to see my website

To look at my Daddy/girl erotica book Click on pompom girl to see Elbows on the Table, Palms Flat
LeftWriteFemme is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to LeftWriteFemme For This Useful Post:
Old 10-09-2018, 07:23 PM   #2844
LeftWriteFemme
Practically Lives Here

How Do You Identify?:
Daddy's good girl
 

Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Jersey
Posts: 16,642
Thanks: 2,529
Thanked 12,325 Times in 5,198 Posts
Rep Power: 21474867
LeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST Reputation
Default

October 9

VIRGINIA CREEPER


In a clearing grows a vine; as seasons change the leaves turn pale. This type of vine grows throughout the wood, but does it grow pale everywhere or only in the sunlit space? I see the trembling of the lovely foliage and wonder the destiny of the flora. Does growth have a will of its own? Does it grow to the light or is it a must? Can I turn my face even if Virginia Creeper cannot? And if I can, should I, just to prove a point?


Keep a spare heart for your overflowing love.

*

The First We

Before powerlessness can be dealt with,
before unmanageability can be faced,
it is imperative that the “WE” is embraced.

It is the first and last job of sobriety.
Initially the human “we” is faced
and finally the I and Thee.

But the full spectrum of “we” is there to allow
the creation of possibilities in my life.
As the human body is 97% water
the recovering alcoholic is 97% “We”.

What I could never do on my own;
We do with ease.
On my own I might not be much
but together We are everything!


.
__________________
Clicking on these dragon eggs will take you to my new erotic novella:
Dragon Bait .........Hope you enjoy it!
________________________________________________
Please take a look at my work
Click on flashing smilie to see my website

To look at my Daddy/girl erotica book Click on pompom girl to see Elbows on the Table, Palms Flat
LeftWriteFemme is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to LeftWriteFemme For This Useful Post:
Old 10-11-2018, 09:32 AM   #2845
LeftWriteFemme
Practically Lives Here

How Do You Identify?:
Daddy's good girl
 

Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Jersey
Posts: 16,642
Thanks: 2,529
Thanked 12,325 Times in 5,198 Posts
Rep Power: 21474867
LeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST Reputation
Default

October 11

DENY ONE, DENY THE OTHER


If you want to deny the problem, by necessity you must deny the solution. Resolving a problem whose existence is rejected creates a split in the crust of collusion. Oftentimes, the convolution and reconvolution of addiction causes a bloated roiling mass that rolls through the streets of sanity. How can a wedge be cut in a creature so dense? How can I work on piecing together remedies when I am readily assured by fellow sufferers there is NO DIS-EASE? Can I trust my personal depletions? Can I employ faith to a resolution when faith is utilized to fortify the contagion I’m told doesn’t exist? But if not faith, what?


Count out all the buttons in your box.
*


Alarm


I have lived life like one long fire drill.
Is there smoke? Not always, but I fear flames.
The alarm in my head is with me always
and I walk from my life single file and silent.

I don’t move on, this is only a drill,
‘I don’t want to take drastic action, this will pass,’
is my constant thought,
though, I can not remember a time without the buzz.

I have stood outside my life so long
practicing in case of an emergency
that there is no life to protect.

I have been conscientious to the point
of being consumed by caution.
Balance requires risk.
I must be brave enough to have it all.


.
__________________
Clicking on these dragon eggs will take you to my new erotic novella:
Dragon Bait .........Hope you enjoy it!
________________________________________________
Please take a look at my work
Click on flashing smilie to see my website

To look at my Daddy/girl erotica book Click on pompom girl to see Elbows on the Table, Palms Flat
LeftWriteFemme is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to LeftWriteFemme For This Useful Post:
Old 10-12-2018, 02:00 AM   #2846
LeftWriteFemme
Practically Lives Here

How Do You Identify?:
Daddy's good girl
 

Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Jersey
Posts: 16,642
Thanks: 2,529
Thanked 12,325 Times in 5,198 Posts
Rep Power: 21474867
LeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST Reputation
Default

October 12

JOY IS NOT ENOUGH


I was driving around in my car, eating a meltingly ripe persimmon. On the radio came a fiddle-playing band performing their rendition of In The White Room. I was traveling with the three drafts of my first step, version one consisting of 690-some words and the final consisting of only four. Joy is not enough. That’s it. The whole thing. Today my life is unmanageable due to the fact, having a balanced life, feeling my wide range of feelings including joy, is not sufficient to eliminate the pain and damage of the past. My horrific childhood has not healed, has not mended seamlessly. I have joy today, every day at some point, in proportion to my sober choices.
I fail to realize the promise doesn’t say heal the past; it says I will not regret the past. I don’t, at least not any of the choices I made. Other peoples’ choices are not mine to regret, so I can’t do that for them. I will not wish to shut the door on the past, and I don’t wish to. I want it healed. I may not get my wish. Just because I am doing my part to heal the past doesn’t make anyone else do it. I can’t strong-arm the perpetrators into recovery the way they strong-armed me into abuse.

Joy is not enough, but it’s a hell of a start.



Lend your assets; keep your defects home.
*



Matching



“Matching calamity for serenity,”
is a task requiring attentive diligence.
Each tragedy has its unique blast pattern
and necessitates a precisely cut cure.

Coverage is one concern and depth is another,
the weight of the healing atmosphere
must equal the corrosive depletion caused by ruin.

I have to make available the wound
in order to receive the remedy;
anytime I camouflage or barricade my injury
I have eliminated the opportunity for a corresponding solution.

Knowing this fact
and answering it with right action is the job of a lifetime,
but I cannot think of a more productive use of my time.



.
__________________
Clicking on these dragon eggs will take you to my new erotic novella:
Dragon Bait .........Hope you enjoy it!
________________________________________________
Please take a look at my work
Click on flashing smilie to see my website

To look at my Daddy/girl erotica book Click on pompom girl to see Elbows on the Table, Palms Flat
LeftWriteFemme is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to LeftWriteFemme For This Useful Post:
Old 10-20-2018, 01:52 PM   #2847
LeftWriteFemme
Practically Lives Here

How Do You Identify?:
Daddy's good girl
 

Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Jersey
Posts: 16,642
Thanks: 2,529
Thanked 12,325 Times in 5,198 Posts
Rep Power: 21474867
LeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST Reputation
Default

October 20

WALKING JOY HOME


I make sure to walk joy home not because I doubt her ability to find it alone, rather because it gives me extra time with her. I used to fear joy, that I would be intoxicated by her presence and lose my well-hardened grasp on realism. Now I see that without joy in my life there is no realism, that it was only cynicism masquerading in its place. Joy is simple and unassuming. I often confuse her with ecstasy and scoot away in shy terror. Joy is nice to have around. She is not just a party animal; sometimes I invite her over for a cup of tea. When we are done I take the winding path to savor every step up to her door.


If you can’t lay down your burden move it from hand to hand.
*

Resilience

When I experience trauma or drama
my heart and soul return to the toddler state;
I feel the urge to stay up and push forward.
I resist help and rest.

I try to override animal need in favor of intellectual prowess.
Bleary eyed and red-faced, I soldier on,
only managing to make my life into a ceaseless fight.

My charm and wit wear thin; then wear out.
I need to recharge my batteries,
need to hit reset and restore my default settings.

It is hard for me to accept that I must lie down
in order to get up again.
Restoration is impossible to achieve from my battle stance.

Resilience is a bouncing ball.
What I want to rise I must first throw down.


.
__________________
Clicking on these dragon eggs will take you to my new erotic novella:
Dragon Bait .........Hope you enjoy it!
________________________________________________
Please take a look at my work
Click on flashing smilie to see my website

To look at my Daddy/girl erotica book Click on pompom girl to see Elbows on the Table, Palms Flat
LeftWriteFemme is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to LeftWriteFemme For This Useful Post:
Old 10-21-2018, 06:59 PM   #2848
LeftWriteFemme
Practically Lives Here

How Do You Identify?:
Daddy's good girl
 

Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Jersey
Posts: 16,642
Thanks: 2,529
Thanked 12,325 Times in 5,198 Posts
Rep Power: 21474867
LeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST Reputation
Default

October 21

REFLECTIONS OF YOU


When people meet me they listen and stare, then the familiar words tumble from their mouths, “there is something about you.” I know it’s the reflection of every person I saw at the meeting last night, the sober voices that created them, also the mirror of years spent in rooms just the same. I know this is what is seen in me. The bright light shines on me and the prism of time fans the colors to my new acquaintance. I thank my Higher Power for letting me be a spectral instrument and I am grateful to the fellowship for shining the light on and through me.


Recycle absolutes into planters.
*



Canine Comprehension


I wonder what it is that the dog knows.
True love, quantum physics,
the ratio of lift to thrust required to make the ball fly,
how food shared from my plate
is better than food from her bowl.

This begs the next question.
What do I really know; song lyrics, nursery rhymes,
old scores from old grudges?

What I hope I have learned;
is the space it takes to keep an open mind,
the willingness required to make a real change,
and the width, depth and breath of honest affection.

If I haven’t learned these things
I will put them at the top of my list of things to do.
Because I believe I can teach this old dog a few new tricks.




.
__________________
Clicking on these dragon eggs will take you to my new erotic novella:
Dragon Bait .........Hope you enjoy it!
________________________________________________
Please take a look at my work
Click on flashing smilie to see my website

To look at my Daddy/girl erotica book Click on pompom girl to see Elbows on the Table, Palms Flat
LeftWriteFemme is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to LeftWriteFemme For This Useful Post:
Old 10-25-2018, 11:12 AM   #2849
LeftWriteFemme
Practically Lives Here

How Do You Identify?:
Daddy's good girl
 

Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Jersey
Posts: 16,642
Thanks: 2,529
Thanked 12,325 Times in 5,198 Posts
Rep Power: 21474867
LeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST Reputation
Default

October 25

ABUNDANCE OF WATER


Waterfalls fail the catch basin and run off to make mud slide from the hills. Power showers down, but the channels it uses are not always beneficial. High tide with the push of tsunami wipes out the coast. Water is the stuff of life, but God forbid it gets out of control, there is no living with it. I cannot regulate the weather but today I have a plan. I don’t have to stand out waiting to see how much will come down. I may not have every contingency covered; I do have a backup for the worse than average season. Yes, I did dig myself a French-drain, but I started by not living on the flood plain.


Travel in your own good company.

*


Basket Ball



Idiots out number poets, this is a fact,
though I do wonder why.
It cannot be an easy lot spending your days
in slow witted discharge;

I would think they might at least try putting pen to paper.
I think I would rather live in a world filled with bad poets
than drifting on this ship of fools,

The troubadours rise with imbeciles as their cover
and poems fall from favor.
I wonder how I could make verse a contagion,
how could I make it spread?

You may laugh at me, but think what some guy did
with a broken peach basket and a rubber ball.


.
__________________
Clicking on these dragon eggs will take you to my new erotic novella:
Dragon Bait .........Hope you enjoy it!
________________________________________________
Please take a look at my work
Click on flashing smilie to see my website

To look at my Daddy/girl erotica book Click on pompom girl to see Elbows on the Table, Palms Flat
LeftWriteFemme is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to LeftWriteFemme For This Useful Post:
Old 10-27-2018, 06:53 PM   #2850
LeftWriteFemme
Practically Lives Here

How Do You Identify?:
Daddy's good girl
 

Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Jersey
Posts: 16,642
Thanks: 2,529
Thanked 12,325 Times in 5,198 Posts
Rep Power: 21474867
LeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST Reputation
Default

October 27

SLIPSTREAM



I look in the rearview mirror; I see the headliner and a river of road flowing out behind me. Dual viewing is the kind gift of hindsight. I can see my internal workings and the past laid bare. The beauty and sadness can transfix me. I will lose my way if I keep looking back. I catch glimpses and move my eyes forward. I can’t advance without a full vision so I remain grateful for the mirror. Awareness and cognition, the brakes and gas, I have the full package; I just have to make sure to steer.


Tell a joke to a cat.

*
Picard

The little tin whistle I yearn to play
squeaks in my head
warning that I have no time to learn
and a tin whistle though slender is not easy.

I think if I had a magic wrinkler for time I might learn,
I remember characters that have, but I rethink this
and remember I don’t want to win the lottery again.

I am too good at too many things
and have no time to enjoy their full round pleasure.
I have no need for additional longing or extended guilt.



.
__________________
Clicking on these dragon eggs will take you to my new erotic novella:
Dragon Bait .........Hope you enjoy it!
________________________________________________
Please take a look at my work
Click on flashing smilie to see my website

To look at my Daddy/girl erotica book Click on pompom girl to see Elbows on the Table, Palms Flat
LeftWriteFemme is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to LeftWriteFemme For This Useful Post:
Old 01-08-2019, 11:00 AM   #2851
LeftWriteFemme
Practically Lives Here

How Do You Identify?:
Daddy's good girl
 

Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Jersey
Posts: 16,642
Thanks: 2,529
Thanked 12,325 Times in 5,198 Posts
Rep Power: 21474867
LeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST Reputation
Default

January 7


Dion


Everything in the world happened before I was born and the cinders sift through my fingers. Accomplishing cohesion of the ashes is a goal I have not yet achieved. Cremains precious but meager are a difficult building material, shifting due to emotions and wind, I find they stick too well to my lungs and not well enough to anything else. Tears help, but I will not cry forever. I must draw from a fresh water source and wet the powdery scratch I have inherited and form the world anew.


Use caution when interacting with the crème de la crème this may trigger intolerance



*


OLD GOLDFISH

I got them when my sobriety was new.
They were tiny little guys, ten cent feeders.
I wanted my stepson to sleep soundly
In our strange jumble of a home, fresh from purchase.

The tank sat on a dresser under his elevated bed
Space to fit my hand to feed them
No space for baby boy to climb in
I loved my goldfish.

There is never a NO with goldfish
Feed them as often as you want
Let the water get cold
Put them in a big space, small place, plants, no plants.

NO was so hard, I hate and fear No.
I am hard, fish are easy.
Tears and mesmerizing aquarium
Meetings and steps.

I could not keep myself alive
I don't know how I kept the fish fed.
The program kept me going,
Kept hope flowing and the fish swam.

In this century when we are finally outliving wild goldfish
We are sober together,
By the grace of a Higher Power, in this century.
It's been a wonderful time.

I am grateful to be here with the goldfish.
I am grateful the goldfish are here for me.
Expecting so little
Maybe I could return the favor

Vlog: http://youtu.be/BVWOAXsGMBI
__________________
Clicking on these dragon eggs will take you to my new erotic novella:
Dragon Bait .........Hope you enjoy it!
________________________________________________
Please take a look at my work
Click on flashing smilie to see my website

To look at my Daddy/girl erotica book Click on pompom girl to see Elbows on the Table, Palms Flat
LeftWriteFemme is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to LeftWriteFemme For This Useful Post:
Old 01-09-2019, 12:27 PM   #2852
Tommi
Infamous Member

How Do You Identify?:
Usually "Hello"
Relationship Status:
Married and Bound to Tommi's kaijira (Ts_kaijira )
 
1 Highscore

Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Suthun.... California that is. Across the ridge from Laguna Beach.
Posts: 8,151
Thanks: 13,621
Thanked 21,338 Times in 5,968 Posts
Rep Power: 21474859
Tommi Has the BEST ReputationTommi Has the BEST ReputationTommi Has the BEST ReputationTommi Has the BEST ReputationTommi Has the BEST ReputationTommi Has the BEST ReputationTommi Has the BEST ReputationTommi Has the BEST ReputationTommi Has the BEST ReputationTommi Has the BEST ReputationTommi Has the BEST Reputation
Member Photo Albums
Thumbs up 15,340 sober days

I have always been with Friends of Bill for my Anniversaries of the past 42 years. It matters. Jan.7., 1977, makes today my 15,343rd day. One Day at a Time, I am alive, and here. I want to thank BFP "Friends of Bill" for your continued posts & service for many years. Keep coming back, it works when you work it and it won't if ya don't.
Tommi is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to Tommi For This Useful Post:
Old 01-12-2019, 08:50 PM   #2853
LeftWriteFemme
Practically Lives Here

How Do You Identify?:
Daddy's good girl
 

Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Jersey
Posts: 16,642
Thanks: 2,529
Thanked 12,325 Times in 5,198 Posts
Rep Power: 21474867
LeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST Reputation
Default

January 12

Live Bait


Is being a taunt to others really a life? Dangling as the cover for a hook, luring intended and unintended to their deaths, is that living? Or if I draw you with my attack rather than my appeal is that a worthwhile existence? If I carry myself filled with poison praying for a strike is that anything other than a march to an unhappy grave for two, or more? Hidden under an avalanche of harassment strips me of my vital quality and my soul loses its true nature. I am allowed to transcend the setup of competition and social strife. It’s alright to be tempting with no agenda. I could be an appetizer if only I removed the barbs or better yet I could be dessert.

Tuck tiny wishes between your toes.



*

JOY IS NOT ENOUGH

I was driving around in my car
Eating a meltingly ripe persimmon
On the radio came a fiddle playing band
Performing their rendition of In The White Room

I was traveling with the three drafts of my first step
Version one consisted of 690-some words
And the final had only four, JOY IS NOT ENOUGH
That's it, the whole thing.

Today my life is unmanageable
Due to the fact that having a balanced life
Feeling my wide range of feelings, including joy,
Is not sufficient to eliminate the pain and damage of the past.
My horrific childhood has not healed
Has not mended seamlessly
I have joy today, everyday, at some point
In proportion to my sober choices.

I fail to realize the promise doesn't say, Heal the past
It says, I will not regret the past.
I don't, at least not any of the choices I made,
Other peoples choices are not mine to regret.

I will not wish to shut the door on the past
And I don't wish to.
I want it Healed
I may not get my wish

Just because I am doing my part to heal the past
Doesn't make anyone else do it
I can't strong-arm the perpetrators into recovery
The way they strong-armed me into the abuse

JOY IS NOT ENOUGH but it's a hell of a start.




Vlog: http://youtu.be/qnr7COwlqqU





.
__________________
Clicking on these dragon eggs will take you to my new erotic novella:
Dragon Bait .........Hope you enjoy it!
________________________________________________
Please take a look at my work
Click on flashing smilie to see my website

To look at my Daddy/girl erotica book Click on pompom girl to see Elbows on the Table, Palms Flat
LeftWriteFemme is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to LeftWriteFemme For This Useful Post:
Old 02-02-2019, 08:54 PM   #2854
LeftWriteFemme
Practically Lives Here

How Do You Identify?:
Daddy's good girl
 

Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Jersey
Posts: 16,642
Thanks: 2,529
Thanked 12,325 Times in 5,198 Posts
Rep Power: 21474867
LeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST Reputation
Default

February 2


The Inside Half

I have drunk deeply from the glass set before me. I’m not entirely sure that I am half way through, but I am into it a goodly bit. I would be happy to have another 31 years; thirty-one more hours would be a gift, too. That glass might be half empty but I am at least half full and I am amazed! I am regularly stunned by the prodigies this half trek has born to term; equally dazzled by how quickly the generations compound in this painstaking construction. Development both internal and assembled surpasses my wildest imaginings. Amazement is my most constant companion, more than gratitude and as of late even outstripping willingness my most trusted ally. Shock has been replaced by wonder, bewilderment with surprise, I am fortified with these feeling realities and look happily to finishing the rest of what is in that glass.


Turn left into your right mind

*

DUCK TONGUE

Trying to get out of myself, I travel to an Asian fish market and grocery
I had heard has very fresh fish.
Greeted at the door by thirty large and lively tilapia
Swimming in their tank,
I felt my mood lift.

The captured beauty gave me pause.
Shiny and silvery, the faces banged at the glass
As they tried to get a better look at my entrance.
Like passengers packed on a subway car,
The fish jockeyed for position near the glass.

Further inside, I see the wonders we have extracted from the sea,
Cuttlefish, conch, squid, mussels, clams,
Whole fish of every stripe.
My belief in a power of diversity strengthens
And I smile.

Leaving the seafood section, I head forward,
To the refrigerated cases of other types of meat.
Frozen pigs tail, fowl with feet on, the novel variety pleasing.
When I approach the trays neatly filled with rows of chicken feet
I break out in a grin.

Thoughts of soup and days gone by flutter through my mind.
Finding formed foam piled with layer after layer
Of duck’s tongues was my limit
Spinning in my mind,
Who? Why? Oh no!

But in the end I came to care
About how these minuscule flaps of leather
Were placed.
The person whose job is done well
And to the fact people are just people.

We do what we do.
For reasons unimagined to the rest
And we do it,
With full faith
And hopeful breath.



.
__________________
Clicking on these dragon eggs will take you to my new erotic novella:
Dragon Bait .........Hope you enjoy it!
________________________________________________
Please take a look at my work
Click on flashing smilie to see my website

To look at my Daddy/girl erotica book Click on pompom girl to see Elbows on the Table, Palms Flat
LeftWriteFemme is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to LeftWriteFemme For This Useful Post:
Old 02-13-2019, 08:04 PM   #2855
LeftWriteFemme
Practically Lives Here

How Do You Identify?:
Daddy's good girl
 

Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Jersey
Posts: 16,642
Thanks: 2,529
Thanked 12,325 Times in 5,198 Posts
Rep Power: 21474867
LeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST Reputation
Default

February 13

Progressive Fourth


All I can do is stand on the grass and count the shutters, the windows, the doors. At first I cannot approach to inspect any closer than that. Time passes and the other steps work me. I peer through the windows the next time and count the stuffs I can glimpse through the glass. I possess no periscopic vision, but what is in plain sight I reckon. Subsequently I wished to exteriorize and draw the inventory of the house out onto the lawn and tally there wishing to avoid that interior life, the poisoned vixen who haunted there. Time passed and she recovered as did I, into the house I went. I am now able not only to number my possessions; I can assess the flow and function, work patterns, interplay, reliability. I have now appraised not just the what, but the how of my life and progress into tomorrow.


Give cooperation a hand

*

TRAVELING PICTURES

I parked next to a beaten little import.
The well of the passengers side filled
With empty sports drink bottles and soda cans
The dash board was a shrine.

Three taped photographs.
One of a young man and young woman.
One of the young woman and an older woman.
One of the young woman and an enormous marble statue.

There were small carved objects
Affixed to the dash.
Jade and soapstone figures,
Beads and a feather.

The sanctuary in my head is decked out
In a similar manner.
Postcard pictures line my mind.
People I love, trips I took, pets long gone.

The road signs of my journey
Stand as exhibits of a tour of duty
Not always to my liking
But nothing I would trade.

I know clearly where I have been
And study the map to prepare
For the future escapades and loved ones.

Trinkets strung on my life line
Give texture, flavor and flash
To my pilgrimage.


.
__________________
Clicking on these dragon eggs will take you to my new erotic novella:
Dragon Bait .........Hope you enjoy it!
________________________________________________
Please take a look at my work
Click on flashing smilie to see my website

To look at my Daddy/girl erotica book Click on pompom girl to see Elbows on the Table, Palms Flat
LeftWriteFemme is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-02-2019, 07:40 PM   #2856
LeftWriteFemme
Practically Lives Here

How Do You Identify?:
Daddy's good girl
 

Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Jersey
Posts: 16,642
Thanks: 2,529
Thanked 12,325 Times in 5,198 Posts
Rep Power: 21474867
LeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST Reputation
Default

September 2


Here Kitty Kitty

Litter training the lynx seems like a good idea until it is accomplished and all concerned are less for the accomplishment. Domesticity is a transparent cage, which has a presence felt by all whether loved or hated. The air is changed and the cat stifles, everyone is safer, so it is said, but what are we safer from? And what is a broken lynx, certainly not a house cat?


Peer under obstacles then climb over


*
ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE

Just because the crows fly away when I arrive
doesn’t mean they are afraid
but they might be.

The obvious answers are usually the correct ones
but I must leave room for the unlikely answers too.
Sometimes a spade is a shovel
and a gofer is occasionally a retriever.

The world is a wonderful and fearful place
where possibilities are endless
if I am willing to allow the light
to strike these sheltered doubts.

Any day---any where --an alcoholic can stay drunk
or get sober



.
__________________
Clicking on these dragon eggs will take you to my new erotic novella:
Dragon Bait .........Hope you enjoy it!
________________________________________________
Please take a look at my work
Click on flashing smilie to see my website

To look at my Daddy/girl erotica book Click on pompom girl to see Elbows on the Table, Palms Flat
LeftWriteFemme is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to LeftWriteFemme For This Useful Post:
Old 09-03-2019, 11:31 PM   #2857
LeftWriteFemme
Practically Lives Here

How Do You Identify?:
Daddy's good girl
 

Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Jersey
Posts: 16,642
Thanks: 2,529
Thanked 12,325 Times in 5,198 Posts
Rep Power: 21474867
LeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST Reputation
Default

September 3


Where’s Your Chair?

Is the ring more unnatural for the tamer or the lion? One the trapped, the other the trapper. Who is the more in danger; the one with loss of freedom or the one with possible loss of life? And while this question is still in play the next question is begged. Why is there a ring? What is worth the price paid by the whip holder or the whipped? Spectacle is a thing whose cost reaches from the forest to the trees; can take you from the highest rung down to your knees. All this lost for some Owwe’s and Ah’s from people needing diversion from the ring they turn tricks in.


Refuse delivery of bad acts
*

HOW EVER YOU CAN

I heard --Let go with love.
You know how to do that? Asked my sponsor.
No that’s why I’m here to see you,
But it sure sounds like something I should do.

Well in a perfect world maybe we can all do it that way.
But for now let go with a mean look in your eye.
Let go with rage in your heart.
Let go with words boiling on you tongue.

Let go with the butter knife up to its hilt in the jelly jar.
Let go standing at the sink wishing for some other life.
Let go as a reflex
Let go as an anthem, as a prayer, as a declaration.

Let go even when you don’t feel you are holding on anymore.
At the same time-hold on to what’s important---
Your recovery---Your Higher Power, and your sense of humor.




.
__________________
Clicking on these dragon eggs will take you to my new erotic novella:
Dragon Bait .........Hope you enjoy it!
________________________________________________
Please take a look at my work
Click on flashing smilie to see my website

To look at my Daddy/girl erotica book Click on pompom girl to see Elbows on the Table, Palms Flat
LeftWriteFemme is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to LeftWriteFemme For This Useful Post:
Old 09-05-2019, 11:20 PM   #2858
LeftWriteFemme
Practically Lives Here

How Do You Identify?:
Daddy's good girl
 

Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Jersey
Posts: 16,642
Thanks: 2,529
Thanked 12,325 Times in 5,198 Posts
Rep Power: 21474867
LeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST Reputation
Default

September 5


No Reason

Reason falls through, where it lands is a place of unknown seascape and unrelenting tides. The roar in my ears furthers the disorienting effect of relocation. At first it seems easier to let go of reason but when I descend into madness I scramble for purchase; looking for sanity like a cleft in a cliff. Loss of skin and blood is nothing to compare to the loss of my mind. I believe I could be more easily separated from a limb or two than to lose rein on my brain. Reason falls through; I must follow even though the terrain is arduous and my heart is sometimes faint, for without reason there is no reason and without reason there is no life.



Write songs to the dead, sing them to the living

*
HATCHLING

When the shell gets too tight
It’s time to hatch.
I can’t tell you it’s safe out there
Just that it’s time to go.

The leaving is not easy.
Exodus fulfilled by the use of one small tooth
This experience may or may not prepare you
For the rest of your life.

So much still depends on predestination
And your attitude.
I mean are you a chicken or a hawk?
A peacock or a dove?
Or is there something of which I am unaware.

Did someone sit on your nest
Or cover it with sand?
Are you a turtle, lizard or snake?
See so much is out of your hands
But still your actions are your choice.


.
__________________
Clicking on these dragon eggs will take you to my new erotic novella:
Dragon Bait .........Hope you enjoy it!
________________________________________________
Please take a look at my work
Click on flashing smilie to see my website

To look at my Daddy/girl erotica book Click on pompom girl to see Elbows on the Table, Palms Flat
LeftWriteFemme is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-08-2019, 01:48 AM   #2859
LeftWriteFemme
Practically Lives Here

How Do You Identify?:
Daddy's good girl
 

Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Jersey
Posts: 16,642
Thanks: 2,529
Thanked 12,325 Times in 5,198 Posts
Rep Power: 21474867
LeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST Reputation
Default

September 8


Helping Hands?

Why would you go to a rattler for a snakebite remedy? It feels so much like the hair of the dog that bit me. The truth is I must, must stay away from the quick answers. I am a slow healer, but I do heal if I allow myself to do so unencumbered by poison or untruth. When I am returning to the vomit of my past it is incumbent upon me to search for the old lies and/or the new ones, either or both will get me drunk; do I even need the help of a prescription pad?


Never cage harbingers

*

SELF-SEEKING IS A DEBIT

Trying to get credit for everything I do
Has run me into debt in my anonymity account
Which draws directly from my humility bank.

I cannot expend my resources seeking acknowledgement
And expect to retain much dignity or class.
How can I build within, while constantly grasping,
For nods and smiles from scenery and landscaping?

I want approval so much that I have lost my center.
In an attempt to top the charts I forgot my song.
My ego writes checks that my soul can’t cover.

I run my potential into the red
Looking to get my name in black and white.
If I keep my name out of lights
I have a chance of building up my dignity.


.
__________________
Clicking on these dragon eggs will take you to my new erotic novella:
Dragon Bait .........Hope you enjoy it!
________________________________________________
Please take a look at my work
Click on flashing smilie to see my website

To look at my Daddy/girl erotica book Click on pompom girl to see Elbows on the Table, Palms Flat
LeftWriteFemme is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to LeftWriteFemme For This Useful Post:
Old 09-17-2019, 03:14 PM   #2860
LeftWriteFemme
Practically Lives Here

How Do You Identify?:
Daddy's good girl
 

Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Jersey
Posts: 16,642
Thanks: 2,529
Thanked 12,325 Times in 5,198 Posts
Rep Power: 21474867
LeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST ReputationLeftWriteFemme Has the BEST Reputation
Default

September 17


Ovoid

I can pretend at this normal life for a period of time then the plaster starts to crack on this white picket fence and it’s all down hill from there. I am better than I was; I am happier and more well adjusted, yet I am still far from fitting with the standard fittings, I am an off size, my threads run counter to the average fixture, I spent too much time on the rack to resemble anything from off the rack. It’s not that I am so special; it is just that I am Special Ed. Performance anxiety and paranoia regularly take me out of round though even with these kept at bay I am not your normal nut. I assure you that you can dress me up and take me out, just don’t try to take me home.



Remind yourself of your friends

*

WEE HOURS



In the wee hours I hear the high pitched wail
the tiny pest whining in my ear
the onset of my thin stretched nerves reaching their end.

A few more hours are required of me tonight
I rally my spirit and lift the edges of my willing resolve.
Long slow nights carry me to far corners of my mind.

I am more average than I had imagined or hoped for.
The commonness of four AM brings base to disclosure
the charmed exposure of predawn wakefulness.

The fuzzy vibrations in my brain make me feel deep and real
Vulnerable to all the normal limitations of nature and caprice.
The sun will rise, ending this night.
My sentry over I will fall to earth, and rest, and bed.






.
__________________
Clicking on these dragon eggs will take you to my new erotic novella:
Dragon Bait .........Hope you enjoy it!
________________________________________________
Please take a look at my work
Click on flashing smilie to see my website

To look at my Daddy/girl erotica book Click on pompom girl to see Elbows on the Table, Palms Flat
LeftWriteFemme is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Tags
12 step recovery, acoa, al-anon, alcoholic, alcoholics anonmyous, coda, on-line meeting

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -6. The time now is 03:32 PM.


ButchFemmePlanet.com
All information copyright of BFP 2018