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Old 10-31-2018, 10:52 AM   #801
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Old 11-22-2018, 10:42 AM   #802
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Why did the turkey cross the road?
It was Thanksgiving Day and he wanted people to think he was a chicken!

What do you get if you divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its diameter?
Pumpkin pi.

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Old 11-23-2018, 09:56 PM   #803
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Default Turkey Fowl fouls -

Why was the Thanksgiving soup so expensive?
It had 24 carrots.

What happened when the turkey got into a fight?
He got the stuffing knocked out of him!

What do you get when you cross a turkey with a banjo?
A turkey that can pluck itself!

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Old 12-01-2018, 09:15 AM   #804
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How do you get straight A's?

--->>> With a ruler.


Why is a Math book so unhappy?

--->>> Because it's full of problems.


What did one pencil say to the other?

--->>> You look sharp!


What do you get when you cross a pair of pants with a dictionary?

--->>> Smarty Pants.
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Old 12-04-2018, 09:03 AM   #805
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Old 12-04-2018, 12:01 PM   #806
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What do you call Santa when he stops moving?



Santa Pause🎅
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Old 12-04-2018, 06:51 PM   #807
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Default

What do reindeers say before they tell you a joke?


This one’s gonna sleigh you!


How much did Santa pay for his sleigh?


Nothing. It was on the house!
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Old 12-06-2018, 02:11 PM   #808
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why do Dasher and Dancer love coffee?


Because they are Santa's star bucks!!
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Old 12-12-2018, 10:32 PM   #809
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Old 12-15-2018, 10:25 AM   #810
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Default Saturday Santa Sillies-

What do you call someone who is afraid of Santa?
A Claus-terphobic

Where does Santa go to practice how to slide down chimneys?
A chimnasium.

What’s the difference between Santa’s reindeer and a knight?
One slays the dragon, and the other is draggin’ the sleigh.

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Old 12-23-2018, 12:28 AM   #811
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Default

How much did Santa pay for his sleigh?
-Nothing, it was on the house!


What do you get if you cross Father Christmas with a duck?
-A Christmas Quacker!


What kind of motorbike does Santa ride?
-A Holly Davidson!


What do reindeer hang on their Christmas trees?
-Horn-aments!


Happy Holidays to the many Corny Joke family!

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Old 12-24-2018, 08:47 AM   #812
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Did you know that Rudolph the Reindeer never went to school?

He was elf taught.
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Old 12-31-2018, 03:29 PM   #813
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Default My final 2018 Corny Joke post-

What happened to the person who stole a calendar on New Year’s Eve?
They got 12 months.

To all who have enjoyed reading this thread and for those of us who have entertained you: A laugh is a smile that bursts!

All the best 2019! Ksrainbow-
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Old 01-18-2019, 06:57 PM   #814
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Default 2019!

A weasel walks into a bar. The bartender says, “Wow, I’ve never served a weasel before.
What can I get you?” “Pop,” goes the weasel.

Visitor at a ranch says to a cowboy, “Wow, you have a lot of flies buzzing round your horses and cows. Do you ever shoo them?”
The cowboy replies, “No, we just let them go barefoot.”

I started a web page on a social media site to help those in need in the poultry industry...
Its called: "Help us make hens meet"

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Old 01-26-2019, 04:42 PM   #815
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Smile

*My mood ring is missing and I don't know how to feel about that*

*Cow stumbles into a pot field, the steaks have never been higher*

*Irony. The opposite of wrinkly*

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Old 02-11-2019, 05:37 PM   #816
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Cool vegan vs. vegetarianism

There is a lot of talk of the virtues of being vegan vs. vegetarianism,
I think this is all a missed steak.

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Old 02-16-2019, 07:58 PM   #817
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Default Gone to the dogs...

At the dog park, a lady had two rather large rottweiler dogs.

Being asked the dogs’ names by another park visitor she replied, “one is
called Timex and the other Rolex.”

"Wow, those are some strange names for dogs!" the visitor replied.

“Not really,” the dog owner replied, “they’re watch dogs.

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Old 02-17-2019, 12:50 PM   #818
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I have to let you all know... This thread is one of my happy places.
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Old 02-17-2019, 06:13 PM   #819
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Default

What did the duck detective say to his partner?
Let's quack this case!
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Old 02-18-2019, 01:47 AM   #820
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Cool Pun 1

I went to that new Mary Poppins restaurant last night.
Super cauliflower cheese, the lobster was atrocious.
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