What Cracked You Up Today? - Page 81

Kobi · 01-07-2018, 06:55 AM

This is funny in an odd sort of way.

Having lost half my body weight, I no longer tolerate the cold well. I really do not tolerate wind blown frigid temperatures well at all.

Being pragmatic, I am more concerned with confort rather than fashion. So with the prolonged cold weather, I bought one of these:

I'm warm. I'm happy. I look like a dork but I am a warm dork!

However, I have to remember to at least remove the face flap before I step into the bank lobby. Had a room full of anxious looking tellers and other customers staring at me when I walked in the door.

Never occurred to me my method of keeping warm could be seen as a threat in certain circumstances. Oopsie.

Kenna · 01-07-2018, 08:19 AM

At 9:05am the power came back on after being out since 2:30am. The house temp is 42°, everyone is cuddled under several layers of blankets including the dogs.

After going out to the shed, freezing my ass off, at 8am to get the camp toilet, I went back to bed, curled up tight trying to get my feet and ass cheeks to thaw, thinking "it's going to take forever to warm back up" when suddenly the power kicks on and the TV starts itself then up pops a message on the blue screen "This may take a while."

I may start believing in messages from the Other Side.

Kenna · 01-11-2018, 09:21 PM

My knucklehead, goofball best friend and his response to tasting soft tofu for the first time. It didn't help me that we were in a very small, semi-fancy restaurant and I had to contain my laughter while his facial expressions were like a three year old who was trying not to barf.

Kenna · 01-12-2018, 08:37 PM

Watching the Worst Cooks In America where they are trying to fillet a fish.

ardentfemme · 01-12-2018, 08:51 PM

I saw this elderly man in the gym today and I was like "awwww." Turns out he can bench more than I can.

I need to step up my game...

BullDog · 01-17-2018, 04:03 PM

Chad · 01-20-2018, 10:10 PM

Today I was pumping fuel at a local independent gas station. They are known for selling fuel cheaper than what is posted on their sign. We call it the yellow store because it is painted yellow.

While pumping fuel I noticed a sign that said "No Kung Fu fighting at the pumps by Manager". Haha!

I have had that song in my head ever since.

MsTinkerbelly · 01-20-2018, 11:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chad

Today I was pumping fuel at a local independent gas station. They are known for selling fuel cheaper than what is posted on their sign. We call it the yellow store because it is painted yellow.

While pumping fuel I noticed a sign that said "No Kung Fu fighting at the pumps by Manager". Haha!

I have had that song in my head ever since.

Oh that is so mean!

Everybody was Kung foo fighting.......

The JD · 01-31-2018, 12:01 AM

That moment when you realize that your sexy but sadistic depilatory scene just went live on Instagram... yeah, that just happened

girl_dee · 01-31-2018, 06:52 PM

someone at work who is smart as a whip, says she saw the moon but it didn’t look “blue”.

When i explained that its called a blue moon because there are two mooos in January, she then said

“i only saw one, where was the other one?”

Kenna · 02-01-2018, 08:09 PM

How the massive, spring loaded lid on my neighbor's pig smoker got the best of me when I was trying to stash some goodies in there until they got home.

Medusa · 02-01-2018, 11:06 PM

I am beyond amused.

The JD · 02-03-2018, 10:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kenna

How the massive, spring loaded lid on my neighbor's pig smoker got the best of me when I was trying to stash some goodies in there until they got home.

I just read that as “trying to stash some bodies in there.” That cracked me up, though maybe it shouldn’t have...

Gemme · 02-03-2018, 09:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The JD

I just read that as “trying to stash some bodies in there.” That cracked me up, though maybe it shouldn’t have...

*files JD under 'friend to help hide the bodies'

Kenna · 02-19-2018, 09:02 PM

If I hadn't cracked up, I woulda cried at my Air Fryer Fail.
Thankful for an old fashioned skillet to the rescue.
I wish I could post pics.

Medusa · 02-23-2018, 09:29 AM

My very petite and dainty best girlfriend is in the tub and just cut a monstrous fart and then yelled:

"ANGIE!!!! YOUR DOG KEEPS FARTING IN THE BATHTUB AND BLAMING IT ONE ME!"

girl_dee · 02-27-2018, 05:18 PM

me telling my love that i am watching a musical and enjoying the hell out of it!

tantalizingfemme · 03-04-2018, 04:42 PM

Last night, my 24 year old son showing me that he learned all about rice's dirty little secret. He said that it didn't look like that much when it was in the measuring cup before he cooked it. Now he is bemoaning the fact that he will be eating yellow rice for a long time. I told him many of us learn the same way.

Femmewench · 03-05-2018, 01:34 AM

From a book I'm reading (Stripping the Sub):

"I don't fart! I'm a lady! I whisper in my panties."

My cheeks hurt, my sides hurt, tears ran down my face, and gawd knows I needed the laugh tonight.

Medusa · 03-06-2018, 10:15 PM

Overheard:

"You know I'm wrapped around your finger because I lick your butthole anytime you want..."

01-07-2018, 06:55 AM	#1601
Kobi Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Biological female. Lesbian. Relationship Status: Happy Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: Hanging out in the Atlantic. Posts: 9,234 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 9,840 Thanked 34,659 Times in 7,651 Posts Rep Power: 21474860	This is funny in an odd sort of way. Having lost half my body weight, I no longer tolerate the cold well. I really do not tolerate wind blown frigid temperatures well at all. Being pragmatic, I am more concerned with confort rather than fashion. So with the prolonged cold weather, I bought one of these: I'm warm. I'm happy. I look like a dork but I am a warm dork! However, I have to remember to at least remove the face flap before I step into the bank lobby. Had a room full of anxious looking tellers and other customers staring at me when I walked in the door. Never occurred to me my method of keeping warm could be seen as a threat in certain circumstances. Oopsie. __________________

01-07-2018, 08:19 AM	#1602
Kenna Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Fiery, Sassy, Tough As Nails, Femme Tomboy Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: I am your favorite hello and hardest goodbye. Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: NC & CO Posts: 4,784 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 4,613 Thanked 12,095 Times in 3,755 Posts Rep Power: 21474855	At 9:05am the power came back on after being out since 2:30am. The house temp is 42°, everyone is cuddled under several layers of blankets including the dogs. After going out to the shed, freezing my ass off, at 8am to get the camp toilet, I went back to bed, curled up tight trying to get my feet and ass cheeks to thaw, thinking "it's going to take forever to warm back up" when suddenly the power kicks on and the TV starts itself then up pops a message on the blue screen "This may take a while." I may start believing in messages from the Other Side. __________________ **************************** She has been through hell, so believe me when I say, fear her when she looks into a fire and smiles. ~E.Corona~

01-11-2018, 09:21 PM	#1603
Kenna Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Fiery, Sassy, Tough As Nails, Femme Tomboy Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: I am your favorite hello and hardest goodbye. Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: NC & CO Posts: 4,784 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 4,613 Thanked 12,095 Times in 3,755 Posts Rep Power: 21474855	My knucklehead, goofball best friend and his response to tasting soft tofu for the first time. It didn't help me that we were in a very small, semi-fancy restaurant and I had to contain my laughter while his facial expressions were like a three year old who was trying not to barf. __________________ **************************** She has been through hell, so believe me when I say, fear her when she looks into a fire and smiles. ~E.Corona~

01-12-2018, 08:37 PM	#1604
Kenna Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Fiery, Sassy, Tough As Nails, Femme Tomboy Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: I am your favorite hello and hardest goodbye. Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: NC & CO Posts: 4,784 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 4,613 Thanked 12,095 Times in 3,755 Posts Rep Power: 21474855	Watching the Worst Cooks In America where they are trying to fillet a fish. __________________ **************************** She has been through hell, so believe me when I say, fear her when she looks into a fire and smiles. ~E.Corona~

01-17-2018, 04:03 PM	#1606
BullDog Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Dominant Stone Butch Daddy Preferred Pronoun?: She Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: In A Healing Place Posts: 5,371 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 18,160 Thanked 22,781 Times in 4,469 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	Bulldog In The House Ha Ha __________________ Love consists in this, that two solitudes protect and touch and greet each other. - Rainer Maria Rilke

01-12-2018, 08:51 PM	#1605
ardentfemme Junior Member How Do You Identify?: Fierce Femme Preferred Pronoun?: She/Her Relationship Status: ~daydreaming~ Join Date: Dec 2017 Location: West Coast is the Best Coast Posts: 81 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 65 Thanked 304 Times in 74 Posts Rep Power: 6329324	I saw this elderly man in the gym today and I was like "awwww." Turns out he can bench more than I can. I need to step up my game...

01-20-2018, 10:10 PM	#1607
Chad Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: OFOS Stone butch Preferred Pronoun?: He Relationship Status: Loved Caregiver Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: Texas Posts: 6,164 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 11,746 Thanked 20,325 Times in 5,678 Posts Rep Power: 21474857	Cracked me up Today I was pumping fuel at a local independent gas station. They are known for selling fuel cheaper than what is posted on their sign. We call it the yellow store because it is painted yellow. While pumping fuel I noticed a sign that said "No Kung Fu fighting at the pumps by Manager". Haha! I have had that song in my head ever since.

01-31-2018, 12:01 AM	#1609
The JD Be the Fearless Bunny How Do You Identify?: Hers. Preferred Pronoun?: he Relationship Status: Medusa’s Snake Charmer Join Date: Feb 2011 Location: This must be the place. Posts: 649 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,740 Thanked 2,686 Times in 540 Posts Rep Power: 21474850	Ooh Kelly Clarkston! That moment when you realize that your sexy but sadistic depilatory scene just went live on Instagram... yeah, that just happened __________________ I don't deserve any credit for turning the other cheek as my tongue is always in it. ~Flannery O'Connor

01-31-2018, 06:52 PM	#1610
girl_dee Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: dee Relationship Status: Hitched up Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Livin’ the Dream Posts: 24,079 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 30,560 Thanked 54,956 Times in 13,922 Posts Rep Power: 21474873	someone at work who is smart as a whip, says she saw the moon but it didn’t look “blue”. When i explained that its called a blue moon because there are two mooos in January, she then said “i only saw one, where was the other one?”

02-01-2018, 08:09 PM	#1611
Kenna Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Fiery, Sassy, Tough As Nails, Femme Tomboy Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: I am your favorite hello and hardest goodbye. Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: NC & CO Posts: 4,784 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 4,613 Thanked 12,095 Times in 3,755 Posts Rep Power: 21474855	How the massive, spring loaded lid on my neighbor's pig smoker got the best of me when I was trying to stash some goodies in there until they got home. __________________ **************************** She has been through hell, so believe me when I say, fear her when she looks into a fire and smiles. ~E.Corona~

02-01-2018, 11:06 PM	#1612
Medusa Mentally Delicious How Do You Identify?: Queer High Femme, thank you very much Preferred Pronoun?: Mme. Relationship Status: Married to JD. Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: Atlanta Posts: 10,446 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 5,995 Thanked 42,870 Times in 7,835 Posts Rep Power: 21474861	I am beyond amused. __________________ . . . Buy ButchFemmePlanet Merch Here: https://teespring.com/stores/butchfemmeplanetcom-merch

02-19-2018, 09:02 PM	#1615
Kenna Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Fiery, Sassy, Tough As Nails, Femme Tomboy Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: I am your favorite hello and hardest goodbye. Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: NC & CO Posts: 4,784 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 4,613 Thanked 12,095 Times in 3,755 Posts Rep Power: 21474855	Bacon Wrapped Pork Tenderloin smothered in apple gravy... If I hadn't cracked up, I woulda cried at my Air Fryer Fail. Thankful for an old fashioned skillet to the rescue. I wish I could post pics. __________________ **************************** She has been through hell, so believe me when I say, fear her when she looks into a fire and smiles. ~E.Corona~

02-23-2018, 09:29 AM	#1616
Medusa Mentally Delicious How Do You Identify?: Queer High Femme, thank you very much Preferred Pronoun?: Mme. Relationship Status: Married to JD. Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: Atlanta Posts: 10,446 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 5,995 Thanked 42,870 Times in 7,835 Posts Rep Power: 21474861	My very petite and dainty best girlfriend is in the tub and just cut a monstrous fart and then yelled: "ANGIE!!!! YOUR DOG KEEPS FARTING IN THE BATHTUB AND BLAMING IT ONE ME!" __________________ . . . Buy ButchFemmePlanet Merch Here: https://teespring.com/stores/butchfemmeplanetcom-merch

02-27-2018, 05:18 PM	#1617
girl_dee Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: dee Relationship Status: Hitched up Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Livin’ the Dream Posts: 24,079 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 30,560 Thanked 54,956 Times in 13,922 Posts Rep Power: 21474873	me telling my love that i am watching a musical and enjoying the hell out of it!

03-04-2018, 04:42 PM	#1618
tantalizingfemme Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Me Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: * Posts: 4,184 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,957 Thanked 4,010 Times in 823 Posts Rep Power: 21474855	Last night, my 24 year old son showing me that he learned all about rice's dirty little secret. He said that it didn't look like that much when it was in the measuring cup before he cooked it. Now he is bemoaning the fact that he will be eating yellow rice for a long time. I told him many of us learn the same way.

03-05-2018, 01:34 AM	#1619
Femmewench Member How Do You Identify?: Casual Femme Saphiosexual Preferred Pronoun?: she, her Relationship Status: Divorced Join Date: Aug 2017 Location: Albuquerque, NM Posts: 376 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,644 Thanked 1,277 Times in 331 Posts Rep Power: 10346601	From a book I'm reading (Stripping the Sub): "I don't fart! I'm a lady! I whisper in my panties." My cheeks hurt, my sides hurt, tears ran down my face, and gawd knows I needed the laugh tonight. __________________ "And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom" Anais Nin

03-06-2018, 10:15 PM	#1620
Medusa Mentally Delicious How Do You Identify?: Queer High Femme, thank you very much Preferred Pronoun?: Mme. Relationship Status: Married to JD. Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: Atlanta Posts: 10,446 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 5,995 Thanked 42,870 Times in 7,835 Posts Rep Power: 21474861	Overheard: "You know I'm wrapped around your finger because I lick your butthole anytime you want..." __________________ . . . Buy ButchFemmePlanet Merch Here: https://teespring.com/stores/butchfemmeplanetcom-merch