Where do you try to meet people? - Page 2

laruss · 07-21-2012, 04:36 PM

I am most definitely a Femme (whether I like labels or not) and out in the public you would not know my sexual orientation. But, I have never had a problem finding interesting people to date. Although I think it is much easier for Butches to be identified out there.

I would suggest being friendly and outgoing with everyone.

I have met people online, including here on BFP. There are also other dating sites you could join. Contact people, open discussions with them. What is the worst that can happen? Maybe they won't be interested, but if you don't approach you won't know. And don't take it personally if they aren't interested because they don't know you.

Lesbian dances and bars are great, just ask someone to dance.

Coffee shops, grocery stores, book stores, libraries and so much more.

Friends of friends are always good, go to every event you are invited to.

The most important thing though is your attitude. If you think you can't find anyone you are absolutely right, if you think you can find someone you are also absolutely right.

It is all about the energy that you put out. Just be careful because there is a fine line between available and desperate.

Really, just be yourself and open to the possibility of something great, and then make the first move.

Babyangeleyez · 07-21-2012, 06:41 PM

I joined a dating site back in December. I have hidden/unhidden my profile like 3 times already. Its so hard to find someone that you click with and have the same things in common. Whenever you think you have met someone you soon realize why they are single (issues, drama, etc). I've given up on the entire dating thing. I'm just over it! Good luck to all the ones out there who find it fun.

Soft*Silver · 07-21-2012, 11:13 PM

I was serious when I started with, figure out where you usually go and stop going there because you havent found anyone yet there. People get in patterns of comfort. If you keep doing what you always do, you will always get what you always got.

you have to do something different.

and i am serious about being adventurous. You have to pursue. Dont think using an online dating site is the same thing as pursuing. It might SEEM like it is, but all it is, is the modern day version of waiting for someone to come knocking at your door. In this case, in your email. GET OUT....do something different!

and i am serious about smiling and flirting. I am a plain looking woman. I am not beautiful by American standards. I am not ugly, just plain. But I have NEVER been at a loss for courtships and my friends and family all grouse how I have dated more than anyone they all know. Why? Because I am not afraid to look at people. And smile. I dont wait for that handsome butch to show up before I try my smile out on him. oh no. Thats disingenuous, for starters. Nope, I smile at everyone as often as I can, because I want people to feel me in their world and I want to feel them in mine, and I want us to make each other feel a little less alone and isolated in this complex culture of ours. Example: Elevators. Get on a college elevator. People talk in groups. Students may talk to profs. Some may cross communicate if they overhear something. .But let a janitorial person get in and no one even acknowledges them. Acknowledge them. Smile and welcome them in. They really arent invisible. And once we stop seeing people as invisible (oxy moron, aye?) we tend to find people...

but first we have to get over our need to be invisible.

you are real. You can be seen. Let your light shine. Let people in. This is where committment issues begin..the very root of it.

Smile. And enjoy it. You will get a date..

Ciaran · 07-22-2012, 03:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by laruss

I have met people online, including here on BFP. There are also other dating sites you could join. Contact people, open discussions with them. What is the worst that can happen? Maybe they won't be interested, but if you don't approach you won't know.

I try this, exchanging emails and messages with various folk back and forth. All seems to be going well, really well in fact. Then, however, after I ask them to marry me (admittedly, we haven't actually met by this stage), they cut off contact ......

Quote:

Originally Posted by laruss

It is all about the energy that you put out. Just be careful because there is a fine line between available and desperate.

Ahhh .... maybe I need to take this advice on board

07-21-2012, 04:36 PM	#21
laruss Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: She or Goddess Relationship Status: Settled in Join Date: Mar 2012 Location: Edmonton Alberta Posts: 1,322 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,849 Thanked 5,328 Times in 1,045 Posts Rep Power: 21474850	I am most definitely a Femme (whether I like labels or not) and out in the public you would not know my sexual orientation. But, I have never had a problem finding interesting people to date. Although I think it is much easier for Butches to be identified out there. I would suggest being friendly and outgoing with everyone. I have met people online, including here on BFP. There are also other dating sites you could join. Contact people, open discussions with them. What is the worst that can happen? Maybe they won't be interested, but if you don't approach you won't know. And don't take it personally if they aren't interested because they don't know you. Lesbian dances and bars are great, just ask someone to dance. Coffee shops, grocery stores, book stores, libraries and so much more. Friends of friends are always good, go to every event you are invited to. The most important thing though is your attitude. If you think you can't find anyone you are absolutely right, if you think you can find someone you are also absolutely right. It is all about the energy that you put out. Just be careful because there is a fine line between available and desperate. Really, just be yourself and open to the possibility of something great, and then make the first move. __________________ Creativity is a drug I can't do without. -Cecil B. DeMille

07-21-2012, 11:13 PM	#23
SoftSilver Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: femme Preferred Pronoun?: she Relationship Status: Married Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: rose cottage Posts: 5,502 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 8,425 Thanked 15,615 Times in 3,974 Posts Rep Power*: 21474856	I was serious when I started with, figure out where you usually go and stop going there because you havent found anyone yet there. People get in patterns of comfort. If you keep doing what you always do, you will always get what you always got. you have to do something different. and i am serious about being adventurous. You have to pursue. Dont think using an online dating site is the same thing as pursuing. It might SEEM like it is, but all it is, is the modern day version of waiting for someone to come knocking at your door. In this case, in your email. GET OUT....do something different! and i am serious about smiling and flirting. I am a plain looking woman. I am not beautiful by American standards. I am not ugly, just plain. But I have NEVER been at a loss for courtships and my friends and family all grouse how I have dated more than anyone they all know. Why? Because I am not afraid to look at people. And smile. I dont wait for that handsome butch to show up before I try my smile out on him. oh no. Thats disingenuous, for starters. Nope, I smile at everyone as often as I can, because I want people to feel me in their world and I want to feel them in mine, and I want us to make each other feel a little less alone and isolated in this complex culture of ours. Example: Elevators. Get on a college elevator. People talk in groups. Students may talk to profs. Some may cross communicate if they overhear something. .But let a janitorial person get in and no one even acknowledges them. Acknowledge them. Smile and welcome them in. They really arent invisible. And once we stop seeing people as invisible (oxy moron, aye?) we tend to find people... but first we have to get over our need to be invisible. you are real. You can be seen. Let your light shine. Let people in. This is where committment issues begin..the very root of it. Smile. And enjoy it. You will get a date.. __________________ Pole bachit, a lis chuye. The field sees, the forest hears

07-21-2012, 06:41 PM	#22
Babyangeleyez Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Join Date: Sep 2011 Location: Virginia Posts: 242 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 152 Thanked 813 Times in 169 Posts Rep Power: 6511028	I joined a dating site back in December. I have hidden/unhidden my profile like 3 times already. Its so hard to find someone that you click with and have the same things in common. Whenever you think you have met someone you soon realize why they are single (issues, drama, etc). I've given up on the entire dating thing. I'm just over it! Good luck to all the ones out there who find it fun.