Femmes: what makes you feel sexy?

[fatallyblonde]

Starting my first new thread :nervous:

anyway, I am interested, my fellow femmes, in what makes you feel sexy. Not in a general sort of way... but what you find helps you come back to yourself when you feel run down, or frumpy, or rejected or out of touch (or all of the above!)... how do you get back to a feeling of sensuality and sexiness that gives you a morale boost and makes you feel strong once more?

For me, I find if I take the time to set my hair in curlers and then do a nice brush out, this really gives me a massive boost. My hair looks good, which means I feel a lot better about how I look and that gives me confidence. Without styling my hair really doesn't do anything and a lot of my self-esteem is attached to being well-presented so even just doing my hair can make me feel a lot more in control and therefore a lot more confident.

Another thing is, if I am really run down and stressed out and exhausted and don't feel like my body is properly mine anymore, if I can afford it I go and get an hour or two hour full body massage. Having my aches and pains soothed away and being coaxed into reconnecting with my physical self through touch really is restorative for me and again, it gives me confidence that makes me feel present in my body and that makes me feel sexy.

Of course, it isn't necessary or important to feel sexy all the time... sometimes I just want to slob around in my pajamas with a cup of tea and be a quiet little recluse and that, in its own way, can be just as restorative and soothing to me as feeling like a bombshell does.

What works for you?

[Femminator]

I usually go for a nice long run and then take a hot shower. I get all smelling girly, and dolled up and, that usually does it for me. Knowing my body can DO that, run for 3 miles and feel not out of breath or whatever, makes me feel really strong and sexy.

[Erryl]

Lingerie and makeup.

[~ocean]

my booty jeans ~

[LaneyDoll]

Two words...

My guy.

[candy_coated_bitch]

Taking the time for the extra details. Even if I'm doing it just for myself, and sometimes it matters even more then. Instead of running out of the house dressed like crap--wearing a nice outfit, taking time to do make up, doing my hair. Make up is one that makes a big difference for me. Sometimes I will play with make up when I am home alone and not going anywhere and it makes me happy.

Nice underwear and a nice bra.

A bubble bath.

Putting on nice lotion that smells and feels good.

Just a few.

[LaneyDoll]

Originally Posted by candy_coated_bitch

Taking the time for the extra details. Even if I'm doing it just for myself, and sometimes it matters even more then. Instead of running out of the house dressed like crap--wearing a nice outfit, taking time to do make up, doing my hair. Make up is one that makes a big difference for me. Sometimes I will play with make up when I am home alone and not going anywhere and it makes me happy.

Damn I wish you lived closer! We could play make up together!!!

[Shystonefem]

Getting noticed..... not for my house cleaning, not for my brain but just for me. Don't get mad at me if I spend a couple of hours per week on my appearance, it is who I am. I am also a professional so if I don't come home until 7, don't be mad --- let's go to dinner. After work, I am yours but.... if I am late coming home, know that I need that for me... and, while you are one of the most important people in my life, I am not less important. I am not jealous, I am not vindictive.... just let me be me and I'll let you be you but please, notice me.

[gotoseagrl]

~ Painting my natural nails that don't need acrylic
~ Cooking & baking for my Partner
~ Vintage styles
~ Classical music, depending on the circumstances
~ Wearing some makeup that is just enough, no extremes
~ Looking "pretty" specifically for That Person
~ The look between eyes say all that words don't need to
~ Handwriting letters
~ Being soft-spoken
~ Being the one carrying the purse
~ Long skirts at the beach, walking in the breeze barefoot
~ Wearing light, sweet scents that are not too strong (baby lotion, a little body spray)
~ my crazy socks at bedtimes (from Betty Boop to all colors of the rainbow)

[Gemme]

Lately, it's been taking better care of myself that has flipped my trigger. Exercise, maintenance, sleeping more, cooking for myself instead of nuking something and things of that nature. Oh, and pairing a tiny top that's kind of like a sports bra and a camisole had a baby with a darling pair of low-riding pajama pants. For some reason, the way these two items lay on my body makes me feel sexy.

[thedreamerin]

To feel like I'm sexy? I'll give myself a full body scrub, scrub my face and everywhere else. Get myself nicely smooth shaven, and rub oil in my skin. Maybe if I am feeling particularly in the mood I put on my little negligee. I know I have no one to look at it, but I feel sexy with all that blue lace on me .

[imperfect_cupcake]

These days it's very hard to feel sexy outside of the house. Student life of no time or money to look pretty - I have to cut my own hair (and I can't cut hair), massage oil stained gender neutral worn school clothes to do practical labs and study group in, Wearing just hand me downs from my moms friends in the praries (over sized potato sack shapeless clothing in very unflattering shades of brown and grey), no time for make up, wieght gain as the study intensity picks up, working in the clinic till 10pm then getting up at 6:45 and running to school to be there at 8:15 to start all over again, study groups all weekend long...

I feel the most worn out, ugly, unsexy, unattractive I have in four years (when my exwife and I were too poor to eat properly or have any money to even take the bus to socialise). I even had a group of people make fun of the way I look on the train coming home late from clinic the other night.

So it's hard to keep any kind of bodily self esteem up. Instead I am focusing on how much good I am doing for my career, how often I help people stop being in physical pain, how incredibly competent I feel about myself that in NO WAY has ANYTHING to do with what I look like. For the first time in my life as a feminine woman, my value is finally not associated with how I look. But my skills, intelligence and capability.

And I suddenly realise just how suffocating that cage can be - being valued for sex appeal - since I'm no longer in it. Yes, I feel a loss because it's what our value is intrinsically based on: first be pretty and sexy. THEN you can be smart, capable and skilled. But when you arent pretty/sexy *first*?

You have very little social value as a feminine gal. And I FEEL that lack of social value, quite hard.

At least, this is my epiphany. And one I've been told over and over and didn't emotionally understand it till now.

So I'm trying to just be here. And absorb this lesson.

[Kätzchen]

When a person expresses how much pleasure they experience when involved in an intelligent conversation with me. This makes me feel entirely sexy, to be appreciated for my intelligence.

[catlady]

I like to play my violin or any other instruments when I feel icky. Something about playing music helps me feel connected and sexy again.

[Zimmeh]

Having someone respect me for being a quirky girl that likes to talk a lot about my pup and family.

Zimmeh

[Talon]

Taking a hot bath, slipping on a silky nightgown, and then sitting outside in the evening, in front of a bonfire.

[Teaandroses3]

Getting my hair and nails done, wearing a new dress, and going out.

[grenade]

I'm bringing sexy back. (Bump)

[Gemme]

Right now, in this moment? I'm sweaty.

Not sticky sweaty but half evaporated sweat from a good workout sweaty. Part of it is endorphins but there's something slightly erotic about seeing a fine sheen upon my body and feeling strong and powerful from the effort I made to get there. It plays to the raw, disheveled porno sexy part of me.

[Gemme]

Originally Posted by fatallyblonde

Starting my first new thread :nervous:

anyway, I am interested, my fellow femmes, in what makes you feel sexy. Not in a general sort of way... but what you find helps you come back to yourself when you feel run down, or frumpy, or rejected or out of touch (or all of the above!)... how do you get back to a feeling of sensuality and sexiness that gives you a morale boost and makes you feel strong once more?

For me, I find if I take the time to set my hair in curlers and then do a nice brush out, this really gives me a massive boost. My hair looks good, which means I feel a lot better about how I look and that gives me confidence. Without styling my hair really doesn't do anything and a lot of my self-esteem is attached to being well-presented so even just doing my hair can make me feel a lot more in control and therefore a lot more confident.

Another thing is, if I am really run down and stressed out and exhausted and don't feel like my body is properly mine anymore, if I can afford it I go and get an hour or two hour full body massage. Having my aches and pains soothed away and being coaxed into reconnecting with my physical self through touch really is restorative for me and again, it gives me confidence that makes me feel present in my body and that makes me feel sexy.

Of course, it isn't necessary or important to feel sexy all the time... sometimes I just want to slob around in my pajamas with a cup of tea and be a quiet little recluse and that, in its own way, can be just as restorative and soothing to me as feeling like a bombshell does.

What works for you?

For those who aren't sure, this is the OP's intention and desire for the thread.