Chapter 6 (part 1)

[skeeter_01]

We got back on I-75 south. I was behind the wheel. I was feeling better after eating. Kayla drifted off to sleep and I fiddled with the radio until I found a station that specialized in 70’s, 80’s and 90’s rock. The Steve Miller Band was really wantin’ to shake someone’s tree. Whenever I could, I would sneak a peak at Kayla. My heart was so full with love for her. It felt as though my chest was about to explode.

My mind started wandering. I wanted nothing more than to make this woman happy for the rest of our lives. I have never wanted anyone more than I want her. She is like, an answer to a prayer that I didn’t even know I was praying. As I watched her, the baby rippled across her belly. She reached up in her sleep and rubbed her tummy. I started thinking about how life could be with this woman and her son by my side.

I lived in my parent’s home. It was a comfortable old two-story house on the west side of Ann Arbor. I had inherited everything and when I turned 18, I was able to take possession of all of it. My grandmother had rented the house out to help with the expense of raising me. The renters were two female professors from the University of Michigan. They were very quiet and extremely considerate. They hired me to help with the yard work and I was happy to do it. Not only did they pay me well, but they also took me under their wing and I began to look upon them as “mentors”.

Their names were Sally and Jean. Sally was a professor of Library Sciences and Jean taught at U of M hospital, he was an Orthopedic Surgeon. They were the first butch/femme couple I ever met. Jean was about 45 and Sally was about 33. Sally was the femme. I thought she was so beautiful! She was about 5’5 and weighed about 145 lbs. She had shiny blonde hair that was full of curls and twinkling blue-green eyes. I never saw her with out a smile on her face. Especially when she was around Jean. Her voice was so sweet and so soft. She usually wore dresses. But, sometimes when it was hot out, she could be found out in the yard in a pair of shorts and a sleeveless blouse. Either way, she made my stomach flip! Sally called Jean by male pronouns. It seemed so natural to call Jean ‘him’.

Jean was Sally’s exact opposite. He was about 5’9 and weighed about 200 lbs. His hair was brown with a streaked with gray. He had dark green eyes that seemed to look right into you. He had a quick, dry wit and a big booming laugh. He liked to laugh! He always had a joke to tell. He never wore dresses. He dressed in suits when he went to work and in jeans or shorts around the house. He was absolutely crazy in love with Sally and could care less who knew it! He treated her like a princess.

They liked me too. I told them almost all of my secrets. They knew all about Tina and my parents. They treated me kinda like I was their kid. I felt like they were my surrogate parents. Jean had a leather biker’s jacket that I was crazy about and would put it on when ever he laid it down. He used to laugh at me and tell me I was too damned skinny to wear that jacket.

Jean taught me how to be a butch. I didn’t know he was teaching me on purpose until one day as I held the door open for Sally she said, “Dana, someday you are going to make a sweet little femme a great hus-butch!”

I heard Jean’s booming laughter and looked up at him. He was looking at me with pride in his eyes. “Yep! I wish the students in my classroom were as quick as you are at picking up my lessons!”

I felt a blush start up my neck. Sally put her arms around me and gave me a big hug. She put her mouth close to my ear and whispered “If I was about 15 years younger, I’d be giving you a run for your money sweet boy.” The feeling of her breath on my ear and her promise to ‘run me’ made my whole body shiver.

I had never been called ‘boy’ before and it felt good! It was like; suddenly I knew who I was. Who I was supposed to be. I was a butch and I liked that! I wanted to be just like Jean. He had a “swagger” that I practiced for months until I got it just right. He was so proud when Sally was on his arm and she was too.

One day, while out in the yard filling the bird feeders, Jean fell dead from a brain aneurysm. Just like that. BOOM! It was over. No more Jean. Sally came home and found him lying peacefully under the big oak tree. She thought that Jean had lain down to watch the clouds and went out to lay with him.

I was coming up the driveway on my bike when I heard Sally scream his name. I ran through the garage to the backyard and found Sally’s face buried in Jean’s chest. She was sobbing as though her heart was broken. It was broken. Jean was dead. I ran in the house and called an ambulance and ran back out to Sally’s side. My heart was broken too. I was soon to be 18 and my losses were quickly mounting. I was crushed.

The day after the funeral, Sally came over to Grandmas house and told her that she was going to be moving. She had been offered a job at Brown University in Providence RI two weeks ago and she and Jean had been trying to decide if this was going to be a good move for them. They had just decided to turn it down when Jean died.

Grandma had liked Sally and Jean. She never gave me any grief about hanging out over there. She told Sally that she understood. Sally turned to me and asked me if I could help her pack up Jean’s belongings. I stood there with tears running down my cheeks and nodded that I would. Sally crossed Grandmas kitchen quickly and put her arms around me. We held each other and cried. When we finally let go of each other, I saw that Grandma was gone.

I went back over to the house and followed Sally into the closet that held Jean’s clothes. It smelled like him. It was too much for Sally. She dissolved on the floor in a sobbing puddle. I wasn’t sure what I should do. Should I go to her or should I get busy in the closet? I dropped to my knees and began to rub her back. Eventually Sally’s sobs slowed and she was able to look up.

“Well Dana,” she said wistfully, “This isn’t getting it done. Come on sweetheart, help me up and let’s get busy.”
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I had to break this into two posts because it's too big for just one...
skeet

[skeeter_01]

I jumped up and held my hand out to her. I pulled gently to get her up and when she got on her feet, she looked into my eyes and found the place that hadn’t been touched since Tina was killed. I felt my heart beat kick itself up into high gear. My chest tightened up.

I watched as her eyes dilated and a slight flush spread across her cheeks. She stepped in to me. Her body was pressed against mine. Her arms went around my waist. “God Dana” she whispered. I bent down and my lips found hers easily. Her hands left my waist and she ran her fingers up my back. She wrapped her arms around my neck and she pulled me closer. Her tongue pushed through my lips and began a slow, sensual search of my mouth.

Suddenly she her whole body froze. She went stiff as a board and she let go of my neck so quickly that I wondered if it had somehow burned her.

“Dana, we can’t do this. It feels like I’m cheating on Jean.” Her eyes were welling up with tears again. “I’m sorry baby,” she said in a whisper.

“It’s ok Sally,” I said trying to sound like I understood her confusion. “I’m gonna get busy in the closet, ok?” I asked.

I stepped in the closet and methodically began to fold Jean’s clothes. I had to stop myself from bringing them to my face and smelling Jean’s scent. Sally went over the dresser that held Jean’s underclothes and other personal items. We worked with out speaking for most of the afternoon. Sally put the stereo on in the bedroom. Every now and again I would hear her begin to sniffle again.

“Listen Dana, if there is anything in there that you want, let me know. I am sure Jean would be thrilled to know that you took some of his clothes,” she said bravely. “For that matter, I know that he would be honored if you took this.” And she handed me Jean’s leather jacket.

I took the jacket in my hands. I brought it up to my face and breathed in Jean’s essence. I could feel Jean standing right there, smiling at me. “I don’t know Dana”, I heard him say with a laugh in his voice. “You just might be too skinny to wear that jacket.”

That was it. I began to cry. I pulled the jacket close and hugged it like I wished I were hugging Jean. I sobbed so hard it hurt. I felt totally empty at that minute. I felt like I was falling in a huge black bottomless hole.

Sally wrapped her arms around the jacket and me. She was crying too. We sank to the floor. She began to rock me and tell me it was ok. The next thing I knew, we were kissing again. This time though, there was no stopping us. I pulled her closer too me. She came willingly. I needed her but I believe she needed me even more. She lay down on the floor and pulled me on top of her. My hands began to travel down her body. She felt so real. So alive.

“Sally?” I had to tell her the truth. I was afraid to because she may stop me again but I had to be honest. “I need to tell you something, I’ve never done this before, Tina and I never got this far. We were too young.” I couldn’t look at her because I felt ashamed that I was a virgin.

Sally took my face in her hands and looked deeply in my eyes. “Dana,” she whispered, “I would be honored to teach you how to make love to a woman, if you want me too.” Tears were streaming down her cheeks.

I felt as though my heart had opened up. I looked down at this beautiful “older woman” and said, “You would? You will?” I was about to start babbling. Luckily she didn’t give me the chance.

She reached back up and pulled me back down on her so that my body completely covered her. She told me to undress her. I began to fumble with the buttons on her blouse. I finally got them all unbuttoned and underneath was the softest, silkiest slip that I had ever seen! I ran my fingers up and down the material. I could see her nipples through the slip; they were hard and begging to be touched.

My fingers changed directions and headed for her right nipple. I let my fingers trace the outline of it and then flick back and forth over it. I looked up to her face to see if I was doing ok and saw that her eyes were closed. She was biting her bottom lip and the flush was back across her cheeks. She looked at me and caught me staring at her. She smiled like she was embarrassed. I had never seen a woman who was so beautiful. I wanted to make her happy; to do whatever it was that would take her away from this if not just for awhile.

She managed to get her slip pulled down. She pulled my head down and my eager lips and tongue found her nipple. I began to suck very gently and then let my tongue circle it. My tongue grazed across her chest to her other nipple. She was beginning to breathe hard.

“Finish undressing me baby.” She whispered in my ear. “I want you to take all of me.” Then she added, “But first, take your shirt off.”

Another shiver ran through my body. I sat up and pulled my shirt off over my head. I laid back down on her and felt her bare skin on mine. Now, it was her turn to shiver.

I finished undressing her slowly. She was totally naked. I almost passed out. I wanted her so badly. But, I didn’t know what to do to satisfy her. I felt that there was more to making love to her than using my fingers or even my mouth for that matter. At that moment, I wished that I were a male. I wanted to be inside of her. I wanted to be connected to her.

She seemed to read my mind. She asked me if I was ‘packing’. I was confused. I looked at her and said, “Sally, I just got done packing.”

She looked like she was going to burst out laughing. But much to her credit she didn’t. I think she knows that if she would have, she would have broken some of my spirit. She pulled me close and whispered in my ear, “Not that kind of packing baby. Um, what I mean is; are you wearing your butch cock?”

“My butch what?” I asked stupidly.

Sally stood up and wrapped herself in Jean’s leather. She walked over to the bedside table, opened the top drawer and removed something. When she turned around I was both embarrassed and relieved. “This was Jean’s too and I think he would be proud to pass it on to you. He told me once that he felt like you were a son to him.” Tears spilled down her cheeks.

She held out to me a black leather harness and attached to it was a hard rubber dildo. It was about 8 inches long. It looked just like a real dick (well, the dicks I have seen in porno movies) except it was a deep blue color.

I looked at the dick and harness but, didn’t want to touch it. “Don’t worry baby,” Sally whispered to me, “Jean always took good care of this dick, he washed it every time we had sex or every time we went out and he packed.” She reached out to me and this time I took the package from her hand.

“Do you know how to put it on?” she asked gently.

“Nope” I said honestly, “But, I think I can figure it out.”

“Well, go on in the bathroom and if you have trouble, call me and I’ll come help you.” She said with half of a smile.

I went in the bathroom and pulled down my shorts and underwear. I gave the package a good looking over and stepped into the harness. It was way to big so I took it back off and found the adjuster buckles and tightened it up. Soon I was wearing my mentor’s big blue dick and was about use it to fuck his wife. This was getting way too weird.

I pulled my shorts back up and suddenly it felt like I had just put on a shield that would forever protect me. I felt like everything inside of me fit for the very first time. When I got back to the bedroom, Sally had turned off the lights, lit some candles and put on a soft jazz CD. She was lying in bed on her side with her head propped up on her hand. She had a huge smile on her face as she watched me ‘swagger’ across the room to her.

“You figured it out didn’t you baby?” she asked me.

“I’ll tell ya Sally, when I strapped this dick on suddenly it was like I figured everything out. It was like my whole life made sense to me.” I told her.

“Well, come here then and let me show you how to use it.” She said smiling. I crossed the room and stood beside the bed. She held the covers up for me to get under with her. Right before I got in, I dropped my shorts and looked down at the huge hard on I was sporting. When I got in beside her, Sally reached over and grabbed my dick. She looked in my eyes and began to stroke it. I could almost feel it. My hands began to explore her body.

She had a great body! My hands and fingers had a mind of their own. They were moving fast, up one side and down the other. She reached out to take my hand and slowly moved it up to her breasts. Her nipples were hard as rocks. She slowly began to show me how to please her. She reached up and put her free hand on the back of my head and pulled it down to her breast. Again I began to suck and tease her nipple with my tongue.

She took my hand again and began to slowly move it downwards. Over the hills and valleys of her body. I heard a moan and realized that I couldn’t tell if it was Sally or I that had made the sound. She led my hand to her pubic mound and then let it go. My fingers began to comb through her pubic hair. I was surprised how soft it was. I moved up to kiss her. Our lips fit together like a hand and glove. Again her tongue requested entry into my eager mouth. The harder we kissed, the louder she moaned. She lifted her hips off of the bed and forced my finger into her wet pussy.

Her clit was hard and wet. She began to rock back and forth so that her clit was rubbing on my finger. Slowly, so slowly she moved my hand so that my fingers were inside of her vagina. “Dana, this feels so good baby,” she said in my ear. My dick was so hard it felt as though I could cut diamonds with it.

Sally reached down and grabbed my dick. “Baby, I need you to use this now. I need you to put that big dick of yours inside of me I need to feel you there. Baby, I need to you. Oh my God Dana, I need you so bad.”

I positioned myself over top of her. I began to kiss her slowly. And then suddenly, I knew what I was supposed to do. I knew how to make her happy. I was no longer nervous. I got in between her open legs and let my dick tease her pussy. Sally may be in a hurry but I wasn’t. My tongue began a journey down her body, when I got to her pussy I pushed it in and began to work her clit back and forth, up and down.

Sally was moaning louder and louder. She grabbed my hair and tried to pull my head into her pussy, like the opposite of giving birth. Juices were pouring out of her like Niagara Falls. I pushed my tongue into her and began fucking her with it. Judging by the sound, she was getting close to cumming. I pulled my tongue out and came up from between her legs. Her legs were spread wide, inviting me in.

I grabbed on to my dick by the base and directed the head of it to her wet opening. I pushed it just a bit and slid into her. Her back arched off of the bed and her nails bit into my back. “Ohhhh my God” she moaned.

I started slowly, getting the feel of using my dick. As I gained confidence, I began to pick up speed and force. Soon, I was slamming into her. I was taking her. I was making her mine.

Her breath was coming in spurts now. She pulled me closer and began to talk to God. “Oh God! Please! Oh my God!”

And then somewhere in between the pounding in my ears, and me pounding her pussy I heard her rasp, “Oh my sweet God! Dana! I’m cumming! I’m cumming baby!” and her whole body tightened up. She began to shake. She made noises that I had never heard before.

I began to slow down when I felt her body begin to relax. I looked down at her and she was crying noiselessly. I pulled out and rolled off of her. I wrapped my arms around her and she began to sob hard into my shoulder. I was rocking her and whispering in her ear that I was sorry, that everything was going to be all right. I continued to hold her until she stopped crying.

“Baby, I wanted you so much. I needed you. I needed you to help me feel alive again. But I can’t help but feel like I just cheated on Jean”.

I kissed her again, trying to make it up to her. She kissed me back lightly at first, and then with more passion. Before I knew it, we were making love again but this time, it was gentle love. Slow and gentle. She came again, she cried again, I rocked her again and then we slept.

She woke me up about 2:00am. She said that I better go home because Grandma may get angry if I didn’t come home. I kissed her good bye and told her I’d see her later in the morning. She said that she wouldn’t be home all morning; she had a ton of errands to run. She told me she would call me when she got home that afternoon.

She never called. After dinner I rode my bike over there. I opened the door and the house was quiet. Something was different. Then on the kitchen table I saw the note addressed to me. I picked it up and began to read. It was short and it broke my heart:

My Dearest Dana,

I have decided that it would be best if I left early the East Coast. I need to find a place to live and try to get myself settled before I start my job in four weeks.

Dana, I want you to know that last night was so special for me. I feel so honored that you allowed me to be your first lover. You were wonderful and will someday make a very lucky femme a strong and loving butch.

I will call you once I get settled.

I love you baby!

S.

I sat at the kitchen table and read and re-read the note. I put it up to my nose and could smell her. I knew it was best but that didn’t make it easier. I had fallen in love with her. I realized that it was getting dark outside. I got up, locked the door and went home. I never heard from Sally again.