What Cracked You Up Today? - Page 35

*Anya* · 12-02-2012, 07:49 PM

My youngest daughter turns me onto the funniest things and I just laughed out loud at this (the whole website is a crack-up, AkwardFamilyPhotos):

Teddybear · 12-05-2012, 08:34 AM

this happened last nite. when were laying in bed talking when we started talking about when we first started dating and some of the conversations we had and this is what was said

me: I remember u telling me not to be upset if xyz doesnt happen cuz it never has

cinn: I hope I didnt sound all butchy and all

me: trying to sound all girly i tried to repeat what i said a minute before we both just started to roll and are still laughing about it this morning

jac · 12-05-2012, 06:35 PM

Sitting in staff meeting.... (next to the director no less)

director: So we have a lot to talk about with this new program change. First we should take this time to congratulate... (pause) *looks at me* What's your name again...?
me: Oh come on, you know... the blind one with "people!"
director: Touche! you got me damnit!

Ahahahaaaaaaaa

This man is going to put me in an early grave from death by laughter!!

____________________
Then talking about a problem kid taking a college entrance exam and doing rather well on it...

director: I didn't know he was considering school
psychologist: Interesting. What does he think he wants to study?
director: He's psychotic, do you really think he's even got an idea?
me: *stood up to walk out of the meeting with a dead-pan look on my face* I heard he planned to study psychology!
director: Oh, you're on a roll today aren't you!?

Hee hee hee...

Guy · 12-05-2012, 06:40 PM

Don't Honk at old people - dave6's posterous

Kenna · 12-06-2012, 07:26 AM

an encounter with a friend's roommate that asked us to help someone go hang curtain rods and blinds...
me: where's the drill bits?
them :I don't know.
me: you brought the drill but no drill bits?
them: I don't know what drill bits look like. you mean those things that make holes?
me: *blank stare *
them: I don't know nothing about drill bits."
me: *sifting thru the tool box, looking like Beaker and Fozzy Bear* quietly reminding self that not everyone is mechanically inclined.

Okiebug61 · 12-06-2012, 08:30 AM

http://dadomatic.com/andy-andrews-sa...in-60-seconds/

Rook · 12-09-2012, 08:20 AM

A lady about 8 months pregnant got on a bus.
She noticed the man opposite her was smiling at her. She immediately moved to another seat. This time the smile turned into a grin, so she moved again. The man seemed more amused. When on the fourth move, the man burst out laughing, she complained to the driver and he had the man arrested. ...
The case came up in court. The judge asked the man (who is about 20 years old) what he had to say for himself.
The man replied, 'Well your Honor, it was like this: when the lady got on the bus, I couldn't help but notice her condition. She sat down under a sign that said, 'The Double Mint Twins are coming' and I grinned. Then she moved and sat under a sign that said, 'Logan's Liniment will reduce the swelling,' and I had to smile. Then she placed herself under a deodorant sign that said, 'William's Big Stick Did the Trick,' and I could hardly contain myself. But Your Honor, when she moved the fourth time and sat under a sign that said, 'Goodyear Rubber could have prevented this Accident!' .... I just lost it!

Blade · 12-09-2012, 12:14 PM

PEEPS...they come in CHRISTMAS PEEPS...I've never seen them at Christmas time....they come in all of the Christmas/winter designs..snowmen, Christmas trees, stars and I don't know what all else.

Trev · 12-09-2012, 03:38 PM

A picture text of Tractor Supply "meet me here" She knows it's my favorite store.

dark_crystal · 12-10-2012, 02:59 PM

Duchess · 12-10-2012, 04:31 PM

LeftWriteFemme · 12-10-2012, 06:26 PM

Tcountry · 12-11-2012, 01:01 AM

LOL...watching Stella the Bloodhound go skidding across an ice puddle on our after work walk...I can't wait till we have a Big snow

LeftWriteFemme · 12-13-2012, 11:04 PM

Wrang1er · 12-14-2012, 08:27 AM

When I arrived at work and realized I am wearing two different shoes. Both are black but the left one has a higher sole. I look like I need a V-8. :-)

Tcountry · 12-19-2012, 07:19 PM

During safety training today...about 6 of us with smart phones got the blizzard warning alert at the exact same time...lol

Weather bug...works...even in the middle of nowhere Nebraska

Blade · 12-25-2012, 02:06 AM

Last night as we were riding threw McAdenville looking at Christmas lights, I said when we get to the other end I'll make the round about and we'll go back threw and get out at the lake.....I passed the round about because I knew there was a Burger King at the light and we could rest there and go back threw.

OMG.......at the light, I turned left and as far as you could see was bumper to bumper traffic. About 3 miles of 2 lane traffic waiting to get into McAdenville, I said you still want to go back? She said no lets not....LOL it would have been fun to go back threw and get out at the lake, but on the news we saw that people had waited in line for hours to go threw and they cut them off at 11 and a lot of cars were turned away. Not good for them, but it cracked me up because my analness to always be early paid off this time, although we were in traffic even getting there early, at least we did get to go threw.

cinnamongrrl · 12-30-2012, 11:04 PM

They really DO think of everything these days

http://www.somethingawful.com/d/awfu...-link-4422.php

Blade · 01-02-2013, 07:52 PM

My little princess...Oh Lordy she is a mess. She doesn't say much on her own but she can say anything you ask her to say. She has learned a cute little phrase that obviously her Mom tells her Daddy when she is upset with him. When the little princess wants you to leave her alone, she in her tiny little two year old voice says....."GO TO WORK"! ROFL She was really showing out tonight and finally her Moma, popped her leg. She didn't cry or squeal or pout. She jerked her head and glared at me, like are you really going to let her get by with that. She knows exactly how to push my buttons.

*Anya* · 01-02-2013, 10:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cinnamongrrl563

They really DO think of everything these days

http://www.somethingawful.com/d/awfu...-link-4422.php

I thought it was a gag but Amazon sold it. Currently out of stock

The Pussy Snorkel...

12-02-2012, 07:49 PM	#681
Anya Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Lesbian non-stone femme Preferred Pronoun?: She, her Relationship Status: Committed to being good to myself Join Date: Jun 2011 Location: West Coast Posts: 8,258 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 39,306 Thanked 40,801 Times in 7,290 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	Yep, that is a sausage, someone's grandma and a vibrating bed... My youngest daughter turns me onto the funniest things and I just laughed out loud at this (the whole website is a crack-up, AkwardFamilyPhotos): __________________ ~Anya~ Democracy Dies in Darkness ~Washington Post "...I'm deeply concerned by recently adopted policies which punish children for their parents’ actions ... The thought that any State would seek to deter parents by inflicting such abuse on children is unconscionable." UN Human Rights commissioner

12-05-2012, 06:35 PM	#683
jac Timed Out - Permanent How Do You Identify?: butch stone Preferred Pronoun?: masculine ones work best... Relationship Status: ♥ engaged to spritz ♥ Join Date: Oct 2011 Location: bangor, maine Posts: 3,344 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 20,720 Thanked 16,492 Times in 2,972 Posts Rep Power: 0	What cracked me up... Sitting in staff meeting.... (next to the director no less) director: So we have a lot to talk about with this new program change. First we should take this time to congratulate... (pause) looks at me What's your name again...? me: Oh come on, you know... the blind one with "people!" director: Touche! you got me damnit! Ahahahaaaaaaaa This man is going to put me in an early grave from death by laughter!! ____________________ Then talking about a problem kid taking a college entrance exam and doing rather well on it... director: I didn't know he was considering school psychologist: Interesting. What does he think he wants to study? director: He's psychotic, do you really think he's even got an idea? me: stood up to walk out of the meeting with a dead-pan look on my face I heard he planned to study psychology! director: Oh, you're on a roll today aren't you!? Hee hee hee... Last edited by jac; 12-05-2012 at 06:38 PM.

12-05-2012, 06:40 PM	#684
Guy Senior Member How Do You Identify?: . Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: . Posts: 1,858 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,258 Thanked 2,574 Times in 889 Posts Rep Power: 21474852	this did Don't Honk at old people - dave6's posterous

12-06-2012, 07:26 AM	#685
Kenna Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Fiery, Sassy, Tough As Nails, Femme Tomboy Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: I am your favorite hello and hardest goodbye. Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: NC & CO Posts: 4,784 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 4,613 Thanked 12,107 Times in 3,757 Posts Rep Power: 21474855	an encounter with a friend's roommate that asked us to help someone go hang curtain rods and blinds... me: where's the drill bits? them :I don't know. me: you brought the drill but no drill bits? them: I don't know what drill bits look like. you mean those things that make holes? me: blank stare them: I don't know nothing about drill bits." me: sifting thru the tool box, looking like Beaker and Fozzy Bear quietly reminding self that not everyone is mechanically inclined. __________________ **************************** She has been through hell, so believe me when I say, fear her when she looks into a fire and smiles. ~E.Corona~

12-06-2012, 08:30 AM	#686
Okiebug61 Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Light Butch Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: Hitched to Red Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: Oklahoma Posts: 1,528 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,261 Thanked 5,381 Times in 1,245 Posts Rep Power: 21474852	I remember every one of these sayings! http://dadomatic.com/andy-andrews-sa...in-60-seconds/ __________________ "Until one has loved an animal, a part of one's soul remains unawake." ~ Anatole France

12-05-2012, 08:34 AM	#682
Teddybear Senior Member How Do You Identify?: by my name Preferred Pronoun?: He, him Relationship Status: single Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: Here there everywhere. Posts: 2,097 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 4,620 Thanked 6,239 Times in 1,687 Posts Rep Power: 21474852	this happened last nite. when were laying in bed talking when we started talking about when we first started dating and some of the conversations we had and this is what was said me: I remember u telling me not to be upset if xyz doesnt happen cuz it never has cinn: I hope I didnt sound all butchy and all me: trying to sound all girly i tried to repeat what i said a minute before we both just started to roll and are still laughing about it this morning

12-09-2012, 08:20 AM	#687
Rook Senior Member How Do You Identify?: A.G - Stone Butch - GenderFuck Preferred Pronoun?: Hym, Hyz...or, just b respectable, it's not that hard.. Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Columbus Posts: 2,280 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,227 Thanked 3,183 Times in 1,287 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	A lady about 8 months pregnant got on a bus. She noticed the man opposite her was smiling at her. She immediately moved to another seat. This time the smile turned into a grin, so she moved again. The man seemed more amused. When on the fourth move, the man burst out laughing, she complained to the driver and he had the man arrested. ... The case came up in court. The judge asked the man (who is about 20 years old) what he had to say for himself. The man replied, 'Well your Honor, it was like this: when the lady got on the bus, I couldn't help but notice her condition. She sat down under a sign that said, 'The Double Mint Twins are coming' and I grinned. Then she moved and sat under a sign that said, 'Logan's Liniment will reduce the swelling,' and I had to smile. Then she placed herself under a deodorant sign that said, 'William's Big Stick Did the Trick,' and I could hardly contain myself. But Your Honor, when she moved the fourth time and sat under a sign that said, 'Goodyear Rubber could have prevented this Accident!' .... I just lost it! __________________

12-09-2012, 12:14 PM	#688
Blade Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: TG Preferred Pronoun?: He Relationship Status: once in a while someone amazing comes along...and here I am! Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Down on the farm Posts: 5,492 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 9,850 Thanked 14,400 Times in 4,049 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	PEEPS...they come in CHRISTMAS PEEPS...I've never seen them at Christmas time....they come in all of the Christmas/winter designs..snowmen, Christmas trees, stars and I don't know what all else. __________________ Yeah so what if I'm triple dipped in awesome sauce? The best way to predict the future, is to create it.

12-09-2012, 03:38 PM	#689
Trev Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Just a good ole boy Preferred Pronoun?: Male ones Relationship Status: She Thinks My Tractor's Sexy Join Date: Jan 2012 Location: Somewhere between right and wrong Posts: 3,372 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 13,988 Thanked 10,142 Times in 2,400 Posts Rep Power: 21474852	A picture text of Tractor Supply "meet me here" She knows it's my favorite store. __________________ Trev

12-10-2012, 02:59 PM	#690
dark_crystal Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: jenny Preferred Pronoun?: babygirl Relationship Status: First Lady of the United SMH Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Houston, Texas Posts: 5,445 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,532 Thanked 26,589 Times in 4,691 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	__________________

12-10-2012, 04:31 PM	#691
Duchess Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Absolute Femme Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: Toe curling :-) Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Atlanta Posts: 2,382 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,792 Thanked 5,591 Times in 1,521 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	A friend of mine sending me this video cracked me up!!! __________________ *無料のライブ*

12-10-2012, 06:26 PM	#692
LeftWriteFemme Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Daddy's good girl Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Jersey Posts: 16,642 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,529 Thanked 12,321 Times in 5,198 Posts Rep Power: 21474867	the story that cracked me up starts at 10:50 on this clip __________________ Clicking on these dragon eggs will take you to my new erotic novella: Dragon Bait .........Hope you enjoy it! ________________________________________________ Please take a look at my work Click on flashing smilie to see my website To look at my Daddy/girl erotica book Click on pompom girl to see Elbows on the Table, Palms Flat

12-11-2012, 01:01 AM	#693
Tcountry Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Country Boi Preferred Pronoun?: call it as u see it Relationship Status: Completely...complete ;) Join Date: Aug 2010 Location: Either at the beach or in the pool Posts: 1,665 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,929 Thanked 4,287 Times in 1,181 Posts Rep Power: 21474851	LOL...watching Stella the Bloodhound go skidding across an ice puddle on our after work walk...I can't wait till we have a Big snow __________________ "You don't Find life worth living; You MAKE IT that way"

12-13-2012, 11:04 PM	#694
LeftWriteFemme Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Daddy's good girl Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Jersey Posts: 16,642 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,529 Thanked 12,321 Times in 5,198 Posts Rep Power: 21474867	I dare you not to crack a smile! __________________ Clicking on these dragon eggs will take you to my new erotic novella: Dragon Bait .........Hope you enjoy it! ________________________________________________ Please take a look at my work Click on flashing smilie to see my website To look at my Daddy/girl erotica book Click on pompom girl to see Elbows on the Table, Palms Flat

12-14-2012, 08:27 AM	#695
Wrang1er Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Me, myself and I Join Date: Sep 2011 Location: Here Posts: 1,526 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 6,112 Thanked 7,085 Times in 1,355 Posts Rep Power: 21474850	When I arrived at work and realized I am wearing two different shoes. Both are black but the left one has a higher sole. I look like I need a V-8. :-)

12-19-2012, 07:19 PM	#696
Tcountry Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Country Boi Preferred Pronoun?: call it as u see it Relationship Status: Completely...complete ;) Join Date: Aug 2010 Location: Either at the beach or in the pool Posts: 1,665 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,929 Thanked 4,287 Times in 1,181 Posts Rep Power: 21474851	During safety training today...about 6 of us with smart phones got the blizzard warning alert at the exact same time...lol Weather bug...works...even in the middle of nowhere Nebraska __________________ "You don't Find life worth living; You MAKE IT that way"

12-25-2012, 02:06 AM	#697
Blade Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: TG Preferred Pronoun?: He Relationship Status: once in a while someone amazing comes along...and here I am! Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Down on the farm Posts: 5,492 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 9,850 Thanked 14,400 Times in 4,049 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	Last night as we were riding threw McAdenville looking at Christmas lights, I said when we get to the other end I'll make the round about and we'll go back threw and get out at the lake.....I passed the round about because I knew there was a Burger King at the light and we could rest there and go back threw. OMG.......at the light, I turned left and as far as you could see was bumper to bumper traffic. About 3 miles of 2 lane traffic waiting to get into McAdenville, I said you still want to go back? She said no lets not....LOL it would have been fun to go back threw and get out at the lake, but on the news we saw that people had waited in line for hours to go threw and they cut them off at 11 and a lot of cars were turned away. Not good for them, but it cracked me up because my analness to always be early paid off this time, although we were in traffic even getting there early, at least we did get to go threw. __________________ Yeah so what if I'm triple dipped in awesome sauce? The best way to predict the future, is to create it.

12-30-2012, 11:04 PM	#698
cinnamongrrl Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: cleverly disguised as a responsible adult* Preferred Pronoun?: wild woman Relationship Status: No, thank you. Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: in my heart I'm going to Carolina...but I'm in MA for now Posts: 7,558 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 14,861 Thanked 27,369 Times in 6,858 Posts Rep Power: 21474858	Teddy told me about this... They really DO think of everything these days http://www.somethingawful.com/d/awfu...-link-4422.php

01-02-2013, 07:52 PM	#699
Blade Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: TG Preferred Pronoun?: He Relationship Status: once in a while someone amazing comes along...and here I am! Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Down on the farm Posts: 5,492 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 9,850 Thanked 14,400 Times in 4,049 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	My little princess...Oh Lordy she is a mess. She doesn't say much on her own but she can say anything you ask her to say. She has learned a cute little phrase that obviously her Mom tells her Daddy when she is upset with him. When the little princess wants you to leave her alone, she in her tiny little two year old voice says....."GO TO WORK"! ROFL She was really showing out tonight and finally her Moma, popped her leg. She didn't cry or squeal or pout. She jerked her head and glared at me, like are you really going to let her get by with that. She knows exactly how to push my buttons. __________________ Yeah so what if I'm triple dipped in awesome sauce? The best way to predict the future, is to create it.