"End Game" for butches : )

[*Anya*]

I agree with all the nurses who have posted.

The time it becomes very difficult is when you are unconscious!

The first person that noticed was my advocate and if I did not have one-I shudder to think what may have happened to me.

Nurses are so busy now and have so many critical patients, my advocate noticed before medical personnel that my temp had spiked to 104.

If you need you go to the hospital for any reason, even if you think it is small and that you really do not want to bother your advocate "it's only something minor, I don't want to bother them"; please do it anyway!

Life can turn on a dime in the hospital and frequently does.

Dykeumentary, thank you for so courageously posting your video. I will show it to my own butch. She lives in a lot of denial about potential health-related issues and it scares me.

I hope your video will be the thing to spark a much-needed dialogue between us.

[dykeumentary]

Thanks everyone for your kind thoughts and words of support. I really appreciate them all. Thanks for watching the video, too. As an artist it feels important to share my work at this important time. And thank you to all the health care professionals who are writing. I could never do your job!

I'm glad we are having conversations about our wishes and plans.

Be well, everyone!

[Rockinonahigh]

A fue years ago I was taken to the E.R. cause a dam fool colt kicked me in the ribs vbreaking a two of them.After the xray plus cat skan I was put in a cube I was laying there doped up near naked for the world to see,I began to wake up then called for a nurse to cover me cause I couldnt reach the covers with out being in pain,she did as I ask but the doctor kep jerking the cover off when he came in then leaveing the room door open me freezing.I could reach the phone after some easy wiggling to get to it and called a friend who's wife worked in the hospitial then told him what was going on.In about two minits all hell broke loose whe the chief of staff came down chewing ass all the way down the line.I was put on priorty one then assinged an advocate who got me a scrub suit then some warm covers,then ask if needed anything.I told her I had been there for nearly six hours plus me being borderline diabetic with only a couple glasses of water and I could use some food or fruit she checked my chart then got me a can of diet coke along with an appla and banna.It wasnt long after that I got fixed up and a ride called to take me home.I am glad I called my friend cause I would have been there for no telling how long.They didnt even call my contact number wich was my son.I hear heads rolled over this.

[Sweet Bliss]

Think everyone has covered the bases on this topic.

Prepare, prepare, prepare.

Thank you for bringing up the topic.

[Okiebug61]

Red and I have everything pre-arranged. It was one of those things we did together to make sure there would be no surprises or worries. We even have a travel plan where no matter where we are if something was to happen all arrangements are handled. We both believe in cremation so the attire does not matter. No matter one's age death is final no matter when it comes. Red and I are happy we made the choice to get it handled upfront.

[Sweet Bliss]

Originally Posted by dykeumentary

Thanks everyone for your kind thoughts and words of support. I really appreciate them all. Thanks for watching the video, too. As an artist it feels important to share my work at this important time. And thank you to all the health care professionals who are writing. I could never do your job!

I'm glad we are having conversations about our wishes and plans.

Be well, everyone!

Hello, how goes the project? What new projects are you working on?

Signed, your fan club

[LexiLove]

This has nothing to do with this thread overall but even though I don't know any of you..i want you to all be healthy, happy, and live long glorious lives. The idea of losing any of you wonderful people makes me sad. Ok, just had to say that.

[fatallyblonde]

thanks for the very poignant video, dykeumentary... I feel like the levity you gave it to underscored the more how difficult a subject it is.
I hope that all your wishes are abided by... everyone here. now I have to go have a little cry!

[dykeumentary]

Thank you Sweet Bliss and FatallyBlonde.

On Friday I'll have my last post-surgery follow-up, and I hope I will now be finished with hospitals forever.

I'm trying to figure out how to make another/better video about working class butches and our relationships to gynocological stuff. Also maybe a longer project about butches and softball. I am eager to play sports again.

I'm glad I survived.

[Tuff Stuff]

It's all planned.My family knows what to do with me if suddenly I end up on life support..don't leave me like that.I want to be 100 years old some day and be healthy and sane,but I don't see myself living past 55 years.I don't want to be a burden on my lover or my family and my wishes are never keep me on life support where i'm some fucking vegetable with no life and they force feed you with tubes and shit and there is no chance of a normal life left..let me die.Afterwards cremate my body and bury me in the family cemetery.Everything is written up in my living Will and all expenses paid for.Come to think of it,living up to 100 can also be a burden on others...I sure as hell don't want to end up in some old folks home..cause you know,with me,that is likely to happen..I don't want to be a burden on anybody,period.And the idea of being old and senile..okay,maybe I don't want to live to be 100 years old,maybe 75 or 80 years old.So real it's not even funny.

[dykeumentary]

Glad to see this important topic revived.

In a strange twist of fate, I'm now my mother's caregiver as she dies. It's been fascinating to see my mom's medical team try to figure out how to deal with a loving butch-dyke daughter.

[iamkeri1]

My FTM husband died almost 13 years ago. He died suddenly and unexpectedly. We were legally married. (well it was legal where we got married, but not in Florida, where we had moved to before his death.) I won't go into the pain and hassle and PAIN I went through because of the stupid laws in existence at the time. Thank the universe for the changes that have now been accomplished for us all .

Really the main thing I want to say is this. We were together for 25 years, and friends for 7 years before that. We had talked about death, who would go first, what kind of life preservation we were comfortable with. how the funeral should be handled, all that stuff. After his death however, I could not for the life of me remember any of his wishes. Funeral or no? burial or cremation? None of it. To this day I have never been able to remember what he wanted. Trauma erased it from my brain, I guess. So take the advise of other writers above, and WRITE IT DOWN.

Smooches,
Keri

[dykeumentary]

That is so sad, iamkeri. I hope in the time since your husband passed, you've found some peace.

I am so glad that I have Mom's wishes WRITTEN DOWN because we live in an area where people feel they can question my judgement and authority to make medical decisions about my mom becuase of their negative opinions about my gender expression, which for them equates to my sexual preferences too. So I have to keep the notarized paperwork with me.

I've never seen them ask to see the legal documents with straight white men. They just assume he's doing everything right.

So yes- get it all written down!