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Old 01-28-2010, 12:56 PM   #41
dreadgeek
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The person who wrote the advertisements is without doubt the most ignorant person now alive on the planet; also without doubt he is an idiot, an idiot of the 33rd degree, and scion of an ancestral procession of idiots stretching back to the Missing Link. (Mark Twain)

Trying to have a conversation with you would be like trying to argue with a dining room table. I have no interest in doing it. (Congressman Barney Frank D-MA)

The breathtaking inanity of the...decision is evident when considered against the factual backdrop...(Judge John E. Jones in the case of Kitzmiller v. Dover School Board)

I wish I had a daughter so I could forbid her to marry him. (Douglas Adams--Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy)

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And my all-time favorite snarky statement:

"Not only is it not right, it's not even wrong!" (Wolfgang Pauli)

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Our daughter, Lil Aj coming Dec 27, 2017
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Old 02-05-2010, 09:31 PM   #42
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dreadgeek View Post
Trying to have a conversation with you would be like trying to argue with a dining room table. I have no interest in doing it. (Congressman Barney Frank D-MA)

Cheers
Aj
I love this!

Thanks for sharing it.
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Old 01-07-2011, 08:58 PM   #43
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Default "Talk to the hand~ Sarcasm"

"Hey I asked for guardian angles, not flying Monkeys fueled by methane!!!! mmmmK?"

I'd like one of the new Mother Focker Alert bracelets. Where are they selling those again????
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Old 01-07-2011, 09:14 PM   #44
miss entycing
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Default mildy sarcastic- but effective.

don't go away mad... just go away.
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Old 01-07-2011, 10:12 PM   #45
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Default Sarcasm For Dummies - A Guide



Sorry, couldn't resist
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Old 01-09-2011, 09:13 AM   #46
Daktari
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You make the underflaps of my breasts burn, like when I used to rub them with poison sumac.

I'm secretly hoping it's a mid-life crisis, meaning your halfway to an early death.

I'm not going to do this. Even your breath stinks of mediocrity

What if I were to innocently murder you? I'd still have to go to trial. I'd still probably get off for justifiable homicide


Sue Sylvester - Glee
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Old 01-11-2011, 02:30 PM   #47
Kobi
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Donít be the kind of person that could be used as a blueprint to build an idiot.

Some people are a good argument for retroactive abortion.

You! Off my planet!

Did the aliens forget to remove your anal probe?

I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.

Do I look like a people person?

No, a hard-on doesn't count as personal growth.




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Old 01-13-2011, 05:51 PM   #48
Sparkle
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Default one i use allllll the time

Hello Pot! This is Kettle calling ...
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Old 01-15-2011, 07:33 AM   #49
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Told to an obnoxious drunk one night in a bar.....You don't have to go home but you can't stay here.....now leave.
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Old 01-15-2011, 09:41 AM   #50
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"Who lit the fuse on your tampon?" ~my mother, to me... (guess I can be a little crabby sometimes...LOL)

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Old 01-15-2011, 09:47 AM   #51
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When someone starts to complain:

"Here's a quarter. Go call 1-800-BOO-HOO, and dial extension Wah Wah."
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Old 01-15-2011, 01:16 PM   #52
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Someone call the wahmbulance!
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Old 01-15-2011, 01:33 PM   #53
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my Daddy to me as a teen
me to my son all his life
and I'm sure there are others that I've said it to or wished I had.

You can't hear with your mouth open, now sit down close your mouth and open your ears and listen to me
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Old 01-15-2011, 10:28 PM   #54
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nightshade View Post
Someone call the wahmbulance!


I say that a lot!
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I'm misunderestimated.
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Old 01-16-2011, 09:23 AM   #55
Toughy
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said by my 5ft, 98 lb baby sister to her 3 sons (age 10-16) on the third trip of running in the back door and taring thru the house screaming, yelling and laughing and out the front door................

she steps in front of them, looks up (they are all taller than her) and says:

'I brought you into this world and I can damn sure take you out..........get outside and stay there!!!'


(she says the same thing to her grandchildren when they start acting like a bunch of fools)
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Old 01-16-2011, 09:55 AM   #56
Isadora
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After a rather nasty short man in a bar makes a snide comment.

"Honey, I can always get thinner, you, however, will never get any taller."
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Read me!
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Old 08-29-2011, 04:44 PM   #57
Jeep
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Default

Too tired to go throught them all so this may be a repeat.. One of the few things I remember from highschool was a sign in the office that said:
Everyone brings joy into this office;
Some when they enter
Some when they leave

My often-repeated prayer at work:
Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to hide the bodies of those I had to kill because they ticked me off

‎5 RULES TO REMEMBER IN LIFE:
1. Money cannot buy happiness, but itís more comfortable to cry in a Mercedes than on a bicycle.
2. Forgive your enemy, but remember the jerks name.
3. Help someone when they are in trouble and they will remember you when they're in trouble again.
4. Many people are alive only because itís illegal to beat them.
5. Alcohol does not solve any problems, but then neither does milk.

Stupidity is not a crime. You're free to go.
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Old 08-29-2011, 05:06 PM   #58
NJFemmie
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If stupidity were a crime, you'd be serving a life sentence.
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Old 10-31-2011, 12:01 PM   #59
Miss July
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Default For starters

If I give you $20 will you leave me alone?

This is an A B conversation, why don't you C your way out of it.

Your like a zit on the ass of society.

Sorry I don't date from the peasant pool
Do I LOOK desperate?

I see your riding the cotton pony today.

Thank you for your anticipated cooperation in this matter.
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Old 10-31-2011, 12:21 PM   #60
LaneyDoll
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Default

My faves...

Me to a pissy, rude cashier in the grocery store...
"I hope you have a better day tomorrow since today is obviously not cutting it for you."
(I like that one because it comes across as really nice but the tone can change it all).

Me to a friend about a local drama queen...
"The nicest thing I can say about her is that she is easily forgettable."


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