Have You Found Your Soul Mate?

[bigbutchmistie]

Well I saw this on yahoo and thought I'd share. I thought it would be a great topic. Do you believe in soulmates? If so or not why? Any comments are welcome... :)








Do you believe there is a soul mate out there for you? Well, you're not alone. Studies from the University of Virginia have shown that over 90% of young adults believe in the concept. And 88% believe that destiny has determined that there is one and only one person who is your soul mate.
The concept of the soul mate is thousands of years old and probably was originated by the Greek philosopher Plato. Plato described a soul mate as the person's "other half" that has been split from him. The quest of life is to find your missing half. That theme has been explored in movies like "The Butcher's Wife," "The Time Traveler's Wife," and "City of Angels." Other views of soul mates include reincarnation: our soul mate is someone with whom we have shared other lives.
The soul mate concept also carries with it the belief that a perfect person exists for us, if only we could find him or her -- then love and life would be easy. This belief has created a lot of trouble for people, especially in the area of commitment. By insisting on finding a perfect partner, many people have walked away from really great potential partners. Why? Because something was missing. Maybe it was chemistry, or that he/she didn't match their ideal of The One. So they've ended up alone, still looking for that perfect soul mate. The renowned family psychiatrist Frank Pittman once said, "Nothing has produced more unhappiness than the concept of the soul mate."
Having been a psychologist for more than 25 years, and married to one guy for the same long stretch, I can tell you that there are no perfect partners out there. Not me. Not my husband. Not any of my many clients, friends, or family members. Lasting love is a hard-won battle of personal discipline, compromise, dedication, and commitment.
Scientists have found that scent plays a role in physical attraction and desire. Other research shows that those who are of similar educational levels are more compatible. While I don't believe in The One perfect person idea, I do believe that there are better matches for us. And if we are with one of these people, we are more likely to have the experience of being with the one who is a soul mate (which I have had personally and can tell you, is a marvelous thing!).
The Indications
So chances are, there is more than one person out there who fits the bill for you. All of them are less than perfect. But if there are no perfect partners, how can you know whether to stay or go? Here are 10 relationship markers to help you know if he or she is The One:
1. When you're together you feel like you've come home.
2. You feel like your partnership was meant to be, as if kissed by destiny.
3. In your communication with each other there is a rapid "knowing" of what each of you means.
4. You have a shared mission in life, perhaps a cause, a career, or the creation of a family life.
5. When you're together the world seems like a better place.
6. Your mood is elevated when you're together. It's not necessarily passion or excitement, although that's there too at times.
7. When you look at him/her you see a part of yourself that's been missing. Perhaps it's her assertiveness or his joy of adventure. But it's something that when added to your life, makes you feel more complete.
8. Being together makes you more hopeful about the future you are creating.
9. You can be more authentic and fully yourself around your partner.
10. Being together makes each of you work harder on overcoming bad habits and becoming more loving people.
Don't worry if you don't feel all 10 of these things when you're with your partner. That's where the imperfection comes in -- either in you or your partner. If you are experiencing six or more of these markers, chances are you are matched well. Over time you can work towards having all of these qualities. Couples who have lasting love find that their relationships get closer and better over time. And that process has been my privilege and good fortune to experience personally -- after a lot of hard work that continues to this day!
Bottom line: your chances of finding The One are better than you think. So go out there and start looking. Love almost always comes in a surprise package that opens up in marvelous and magical ways

[Soft*Silver]

well, I dont believe there is only one soul mate. I have actually found that I have a set of two brothers who are my soul mates. They have both manifested in this life, but at different times. I also know there is at least one other soul mate.

I dont buy into the one and only one true love.

[BornBronson]

Yes I believe in soul mates.Call me weird but every since I was a wee one,i dreamt of a person in Ireland who was suppose to come to america and marry me and we would live happily ever after.It's the truth.If never happen of course but I always think of him somewhere out there yet,probably married,old and grey,and with many grandbabies.It happen like that cause I never did set foot in Ireland Or maybe he never came to America,end of story.

In kindergarten there was this boy who called me his soul mate.He said I would be his wife one day,he lived several blocks away from our home.He came calling on me everyday up to the time my parents lost our home and we were forced to move out.Afterwards i never gave him much thought,even many years later.But when I do think of him i wonder if he's still searching for me out there somewhere,that or just completely gave up ever finding me.

Yes,I believe in souls mates.

[always2late]

I have always believed in "the one". Throughout my life I have not had it personally...but I have seen stunning examples of it in others' relationships (my brother and his wife for one). I do believe that, for each of us, there is that one person in this world who is our missing piece. We just have to be lucky enough to find them. ;)

[afixer]

good artical, thanks.
I was thinking about this just yesterday...weird.

[Jedi]

I was reluctant to post at the risk of sounding sappy and throwing my butch exterior. I believe in a soulmate of some kind. Someone who makes you feel complete. Someone that makes home feel like home. You only call it home because they are there. But I'm a hopeless romantic and eternally sappy by nature.....so go figure.

[Jet]

I nice notion, but no, I don't subscribe to the idea of a soul mate.

[Rockinonahigh]

Im not shure I beleave in soul mates.Well because over a lifetime I have met ppl who for what ever time we shared we were both halves of each other..when the time was up we parted.I really beleave that we meet ppl and for what ever time is writen in the stars we have together is ment to be ..we are capable of loveing in diffrent ways.

[Kenna]

I kinda wonder every now and again... if the little boy who became a "good ole country boy" that had a very serious crush on me in 2nd grade all the way up until we were adults and I moved out of State was a soul mate?? He never faltered and him and his family were always so kind to me and my son. He was so gentle and kind, with TONS of respect. We were never involved, although I adored his friendship. He took me to one homecoming dance once, even bought me my dress and paid for my hairdresser... we danced a little, but he was too much of a teenage boy with that goofy horney grin. I think he turned out to be a fine respectful and respectable gentleman. But it just wasn't in our cards for various reasons. Many times over the last couple years, I think of him and wonder where he is? Did he find his soul mate and settle down? He will always be a dear, adored friend to me. My good ole southern boy with is 2nd grade crush.

[Strappie]

My soulmate Picker has been on strike for quite some time now.... so when it's ready I'm sure it will start pickin away.

[Passionaria]

It would appear not. I met one, who I thought may have been, or maybe we just remembered each other form another life. But alas, I have my soul mate order clipped on the silver turning wheel, in the kitchen of the soul mate cafe.......


:cat: order up! Pashi

[WolfyOne]

Once upon a time I thought I did. We were so in tune with each other. Alas, the fear of committing to someone forever, scared me off. I've always had a firm belief that nothing is forever unless you take it into your next life. The old saying, a reason, a season or a lifetime is the way I see things now.

[adorable]

I have met people who believed I was their soul mate. I didn't think they were mine. I do believe in soul mates. I thought once that I met one, she apparently didn't think so. lol. (It's always a bad sign.) I don't know that I have one. I like to think I do. I'm also not so sure I would see it if it happened to be there. I think perfect and perfect for me are two very different ideas. Perhaps they are not my missing half - that would be kinda creepy. Just different enough to be interesting and just same enough to be comfortable...That would be nice.

[Leigh]

Not yet, but maybe one day!

[Puplove]

I thought I had met my soulmate long ago, but turns out it was just me wishing so much that we would be. I now know the difference, because when I met my true soulmate, the feeling was so deep and so natural and real that I knew without a doubt -- and so did he!
So...yes I have...finally.

[hippieflowergirl]

~ ~ ~ yes ~ ~ ~

[Miss Scarlett]

I think so and Shelia feels the same way.

We are very much in tune with each other - always have been, even while in the "getting to know you before we even think about starting to date" phase.

[bigbutchmistie]

Thank you everyone for your response :) I do believe in one true soulmate. I know that their are just a couple of times I thought I met her. But it wasnt! LOL So, apparently she is still out there... And one day when its supposed too our paths will cross... :) Im enjoying reading everyone's responses

[Butterbean]

I have two soulmates. One has been for 20 years and, another, for nearly 16 years.

I can't imagine life without ever having met either one.

[Legendryder]

Yes I have. His name is Bob.

[Ms. Tabitha]

To me a "soul mate" means that you feel you are connected so deep inside you wouldn't be complete without him or her.
It means that everyday you love them more than you did the day before.
It means that you both know without a doubt that you would be there for each other, through anything.
It means they can read your heart from a mile away.
It means they know what your thinking before you say it.
It means there is a unique and special connection that makes you want to be a better person.
It means you give unselfishly of yourselfs to each other.
There is an unspoken bond, a trust that is beyond measure and a friendship that is stronger than time and a love that reaches the depths of your soul.
There is a connection between your mind, soul and heart that words cannot express.

SO, the answer to the question is...... YES!!!

:flowers:

Disclaimer: THIS will occur when you know (not finish) who you are.

[Ldyluck88]

To me a "soul mate" means that you feel you are connected so deep inside you wouldn't be complete without him or her.
It means that everyday you love them more than you did the day before.
It means that you both know without a doubt that you would be there for each other, through anything.
It means they can read your heart from a mile away.
It means they know what your thinking before you say it.
It means there is a unique and special connection that makes you want to be a better person.
It means you give unselfishly of yourselfs to each other.
There is an unspoken bond, a trust that is beyond measure and a friendship that is stronger than time and a love that reaches the depths of your soul.
There is a connection between your mind, soul and heart that words cannot express.

SO, the answer to the question is...... YES!!!

:flowers:

Disclaimer: THIS will occur when you know (not finish) who you are.

What Tabitha said :cheerleader:

[Laidbackgrly]

I do beleive in soul mates i also beleive in love at first site too 2 people just lock eyes and the chemistry is there and you can feel it i have had it happen its too bad people just give up .:countpetal:

[bigbutchmistie]

I do beleive in soul mates i also beleive in love at first site too 2 people just lock eyes and the chemistry is there and you can feel it i have had it happen its too bad people just give up .:countpetal:

AMEN !!!! :)

[Ldyluck88]

I do beleive in soul mates i also beleive in love at first site too 2 people just lock eyes and the chemistry is there and you can feel it i have had it happen its too bad people just give up .:countpetal:

I believe in chemistry and all that, but I don't think people give up, I think there are more under lying factors involved and each situation is different, but that is whole new thread in itself..lol If we all had love at first sight and people grew together instead of apart, none of us would be single. There is always hope, and I never give up. :)

[Liam]

There have been several women, whom I believed to be my soul mate, however time proved that to be wrong.

[Sachita]

I do beleive in soul mates i also beleive in love at first site too 2 people just lock eyes and the chemistry is there and you can feel it i have had it happen its too bad people just give up .:countpetal:

If someone gave up then it wasn't a soul connection imo. I believe in chemistry. I believe in love but I think we have many soul mates, not just one. Soulful connections where you know your paths were meant to cross, you feel strong love. I believe I will love many people in my life time. I do now and yet I still wait for that right "connection" , passion, adoration, etc. They might not even be my soulmate but the perfect partner. I need more then chemistry. I need something that fits right. If you're able to obtain it all then lucky you!

[Sachita]

There have been several women, whom I believed to be my soul mate, however time proved that to be wrong.

funny how that happens huh?

I think that we have strong desires and needs. We project them and hope someone will complete us but the truth is they can't. We want them to be our everything and they can't. You do this for yourself first and if it isn't perfect in love and passion you hope for a really great friend.

[julieisafemme]

My sister is my soul mate. We are mirrors and opposites of one another. But she annoys me sometimes and sometimes we don't understand one another.

Romantically I think you can have a connection with someone but a soul mate connection is not necessary for a successful relationship.

[Sachita]

My sister is my soul mate. We are mirrors and opposites of one another. But she annoys me sometimes and sometimes we don't understand one another.

Romantically I think you can have a connection with someone but a soul mate connection is not necessary for a successful relationship.

I agree with this. I have the same with my sister. It's very symbiotic and I notice the more I learn to love myself, honor myself, etc the easier it is to share this with others.

I think that for some people the traditional ideal means all or nothing in one. I've never understood this or agreed but then again I've been single more then in relationships, however in retrospect I think about my life and see how full it really was/is and that I've always loved and felt love no matter what. This had nothing to do with one person but a collection and the quality of my life. You only get what you give. Thats a fact.

I believe our spirits/souls connect with like enegry patterns and as we move through life we connect profoundly for many reasons. For me most of this has been an evolving journey, many lessons and all to simply become conscious.

[Gemme]

While I've had people in my life that I did/do feel connected to, it's not been romantic. Sisterly love.

Romantically, I've not had that experience and I don't know if I want it. It's such a huge amount of pressure to put on someone I think. You are my ONE and ONLY and all my hopes and dreams are going to be thrust onto you and you be assigned responsibility for them and me and my happiness FOREVER. The cosmos have declared it! Maybe I am jaded....okay, I know I am...but that spells doom from the beginning.

I tend to think along the lines of, gee, this is great. Let's try to keep this good vibe. Sometimes it works for a while and sometimes the end is short and sweet. But I don't utter those words...soul mate...even if I feel it might be appropriate. Why? It's too much damn pressure for another human being. I don't want it put on me and I won't put it on another person.

[imperfect_cupcake]

yeah. but I think one soul mate per user is a complete fallacy. Also that your soul mates are only lovers.

one of my soul mates was my half brother. another was my cat boots. Another is my best mate kerri. and another was my ex james.And I've got another one now, that I'm marrying.

I like your definition though, it fits many people and not just one.

[MsTinkerbelly]

:love1:Yes, without a doubt.

[AtLast]

I have been fortunate enough to have met two soul-mates and hope to meet another. This refers to romantic relationships. Soul-mate just isn't singular to me. Nor is it only cast in romantic relationships. My closest and oldest friend is my soul-mate, too.

:alieninjar:

[Soft*Silver]

yes...soul mates can indeed be friends instead of lovers. For the first brother we started out as friends and went to become lovers. And we could not sustain it. I was younger and not as evolved in my understandings of pathways. Later, when I met brother number two, we started out lovers and became friends. I was older and wiser of pathways. Each took their turn to teach me and help me evolve, as I did with them. One I scorched. The other I provide warmth.

I have also met an incredible Light Being in a dog. He had such an affect on people that everyone who met him (and I mean everybody!) said that he changed their life somehow. He was one of my adopted newfs and had such a Presence that you Knew he was far more than a dog, and yet simply a dog. His name was Joey and yet we all called him my Buddha dog.


I have been fortunate enough to have met two soul-mates and hope to meet another. This refers to romantic relationships. Soul-mate just isn't singular to me. Nor is it only cast in romantic relationships. My closest and oldest friend is my soul-mate, too.

:alieninjar:

[Puplove]

I get that the idea of soulmate would put pressure on someone or you...but what I found (and what also was one of the many things that made me so sure this is a true soulmate) is that we connect so naturally and easily - there never was any pressure. We both just knew, and we have a connection that goes down to our cores without the pressure or question of thrusting hopes and dreams etc -- we just ARE. And that is perfect. And that we are together makes it very peaceful and giddily joyful at the same time as it is so EASY and grounded.

I think feeling responsibility and pressure is an indication that one or both of you are hoping/wishing you'd be soulmates and want so much to make it so...but it ain't happenin. That is how my first "wish you were my soulmate" relationship went, and is a wonderful contrast to my "know you are my soulmate" treasure!

While I've had people in my life that I did/do feel connected to, it's not been romantic. Sisterly love.

Romantically, I've not had that experience and I don't know if I want it. It's such a huge amount of pressure to put on someone I think. You are my ONE and ONLY and all my hopes and dreams are going to be thrust onto you and you be assigned responsibility for them and me and my happiness FOREVER. The cosmos have declared it! Maybe I am jaded....okay, I know I am...but that spells doom from the beginning.

I tend to think along the lines of, gee, this is great. Let's try to keep this good vibe. Sometimes it works for a while and sometimes the end is short and sweet. But I don't utter those words...soul mate...even if I feel it might be appropriate. Why? It's too much damn pressure for another human being. I don't want it put on me and I won't put it on another person.

[AtLast]

yes...soul mates can indeed be friends instead of lovers. For the first brother we started out as friends and went to become lovers. And we could not sustain it. I was younger and not as evolved in my understandings of pathways. Later, when I met brother number two, we started out lovers and became friends. I was older and wiser of pathways. Each took their turn to teach me and help me evolve, as I did with them. One I scorched. The other I provide warmth.

I have also met an incredible Light Being in a dog. He had such an affect on people that everyone who met him (and I mean everybody!) said that he changed their life somehow. He was one of my adopted newfs and had such a Presence that you Knew he was far more than a dog, and yet simply a dog. His name was Joey and yet we all called him my Buddha dog.

YES! I had a boxer that I know was once a Buddhist monk... no doubt in my mind. And he was a true dog ambassador. People that really didn't care for dogs fell in love with him.

I am a romantic in many ways, but, soul-mate just isn't about relationships for me. Its about the varied people in my life that have made a difference in it on many levels. Sure, it can be a partner, but, not necessarily.

Yes, there is light in some beings that just does not shine the same for all.

:sadangel:

[Sachita]

YES! I had a boxer that I know was once a Buddhist monk... no doubt in my mind. And he was a true dog ambassador. People that really didn't care for dogs fell in love with him.

I am a romantic in many ways, but, soul-mate just isn't about relationships for me. Its about the varied people in my life that have made a difference in it on many levels. Sure, it can be a partner, but, not necessarily.

Yes, there is light in some beings that just does not shine the same for all.

:sadangel:

I've had so many animal connections. I've felt urges that have prompted me to do something that took me some place to rescue an animal. Some of the most profound emotions I have ever had were with animals.

Love from animals is so pure and unconditional. They just seem to know a part of you no one else can touch.

I would give everything I own to have a deep soulful connection with a lover and partner. It truly is in the hands of God.

[bigbutchmistie]

I get that the idea of soulmate would put pressure on someone or you...but what I found (and what also was one of the many things that made me so sure this is a true soulmate) is that we connect so naturally and easily - there never was any pressure. We both just knew, and we have a connection that goes down to our cores without the pressure or question of thrusting hopes and dreams etc -- we just ARE. And that is perfect. And that we are together makes it very peaceful and giddily joyful at the same time as it is so EASY and grounded.

I think feeling responsibility and pressure is an indication that one or both of you are hoping/wishing you'd be soulmates and want so much to make it so...but it ain't happenin. That is how my first "wish you were my soulmate" relationship went, and is a wonderful contrast to my "know you are my soulmate" treasure!

Ive heard from even friends that when you meet the one, there isnt any jumping through hoops "making" it work. It just fits like you said. It just is. Its easy and natural. Im glad you found that :) Thanks for the post.

[Ldyluck88]

Soulmate is just that, A Mate of the Soul, which to me is not in the physical sense, tho I wish I would have that kind of a connection with a partner.

[bigbutchmistie]

Soulmate is just that, A Mate of the Soul, which to me is not in the physical sense, tho I wish I would have that kind of a connection with a partner.

Yep me too I wished I could connect like that with a partner :)

[bigbutchmistie]

I read this article today and thought Id share.. Really makes ya think :)








Calling Forth a Soulmate



How do I draw a soulmate into my life? You don’t. I’ve read plenty of books that tell you how to do it, but I don’t believe for a minute that you can place your cosmic order and your perfect ideal twin soul is going to materialize just like that at your front door. It doesn’t happen that way. You can open your heart and mind to finding a beautiful loving relationship, but chances are that using the word soulmate will almost jinx you from finding it. Why?



For many of us, when we think of a soulmate, we think of someone perfect. Someone who is gorgeous, brilliant, funny, naturally happy and kind. We think of someone who wants exactly the same things out of life that we want. We picture a meeting right out of the movies where both parties meet on the street and instantly fall madly head over heels in love. We think that there will never be any conflict beyond a quaint debate over what colors to paint the baby’s nursery. We imagine lovemaking that is so phenomenally perfect the first time that one cries from the sheer artistic beauty and telepathic oneness. All problems and challenges in our lives will suddenly melt away into faint memories because our soulmate has arrived and their presence alone is so cosmic and amazing that all else pales in comparison.



Yeah, and if I say my affirmations with enough conviction, gold coins are going to start growing instead of dandelions in my yard too! Wake up! If you’re dreaming of that kind of a soulmate, then you need to rent some good movies and call it good. Love doesn’t go like that and you know better. Look at it this way…. You are the other half of that equation. Let’s be serious. If you are someone’s soulmate, and they find you -- are you capable of being that incredibly flawless and perfect for them? No of course not. Nor are they. Soulmates are as mixed up and weird as you are. They may have the same flaws as you do or completely different ones. If you are holding out for that fantasy, then you are playing a psychological game with yourself. You have created an impossible dream to hide behind so that you don’t have to really risk falling in love with a real live human being, warts and all.



Yes, I do believe that there are extremely rare cases where one ‘feels’ or ‘knows’ there is a certain person they are meant to find and they are haunted by the need to find that one person. They are doomed to hunt for that needle in a haystack. But let’s get serious, that isn’t the norm. We have all heard so much about soulmates that we just think it would be really cool. Well it’s not. It sucks to spend a lifetime passing up real love with real people because somewhere out there is this voice calling your name. You doubt your sanity and spend most of your life lonely and searching. Don’t do it. Find real love with real people.



Change your definition of soulmate. Call to yourself someone who is open and real. Call to yourself someone who is genuine and capable of love on a real everyday level in a real everyday world where people get up and go to work and pay bills. Call to yourself someone who knows how to show and express their love without manipulation and head games. Call forth a forever kind of love. Call forth a best friend that you can sit with in your rocking chair on the front porch when you are too old to make love anymore. Call someone who loves you enough to kick you in the butt when you are screwing up. Call forth someone who will shout from the rooftop when you are deserving of praise too. Call forth someone who is a loyal and faithful lover willing to learn and grow with you behind closed doors. Leave the rest to fate. Don’t define them. Don’t imagine the look of their face or the color of their eyes. Don’t predetermine anything else about them. Let them be exactly who they are and you be who you are. Then work on making yourself into the same type of person that I just described so that you will be worthy of them when they show up.



When you go through your ceremonies, affirmations, and prayers for your soulmate, ask the heavens to help you to be open-minded and to not judge what that person is supposed to be. Ask for a feeling of their essence so that you will recognize it when you see them for real. How does it feel to be with them? If you had a perfect ideal partner, you would not be able to relax and be yourself because they were not of the same energy as you. Raise your own self to be your best and ask for a partner that matches your level of development so that you can grow together. You don’t want to have a partner who is in every way superior to you because they are perfect and you are only human do you?



Unless you can lighten up your definition of what a soulmate is, then you really shouldn’t use the term. It will only bring you loneliness and heartache if you insist on waiting for perfection. The best advise I can give you if you want an amazing forever kind of love is to be healthy, happy, and independent. Quit worrying about when love will find you and get busy with living your life. Keep your heart open and your eyes open for the possible love of a lifetime, but don’t obsess over it. Whatever is meant to be will be -- whether you call it to you or not. Call for help being a beautiful soul. Trust that the rest will fall into place in it’s own perfect time.

[Oiler41]

I thought I had met my soulmate long ago, but turns out it was just me wishing so much that we would be. I now know the difference, because when I met my true soulmate, the feeling was so deep and so natural and real that I knew without a doubt -- and so did he!
So...yes I have...finally.

Yes, I did! My soul jumped when I met you and I do know, without a doubt. So...yes I have...finally.

[bigbutchmistie]

Yes, I did! My soul jumped when I met you and I do know, without a doubt. So...yes I have...finally.

awwww yall are so cute :)

[Oiler41]

I get that the idea of soulmate would put pressure on someone or you...but what I found (and what also was one of the many things that made me so sure this is a true soulmate) is that we connect so naturally and easily - there never was any pressure. We both just knew, and we have a connection that goes down to our cores without the pressure or question of thrusting hopes and dreams etc -- we just ARE. And that is perfect. And that we are together makes it very peaceful and giddily joyful at the same time as it is so EASY and grounded.

I think feeling responsibility and pressure is an indication that one or both of you are hoping/wishing you'd be soulmates and want so much to make it so...but it ain't happenin. That is how my first "wish you were my soulmate" relationship went, and is a wonderful contrast to my "know you are my soulmate" treasure!

Ditto,,,and furthermore,,ditto. It is, and has been from the beginning, as natural as breathing. The attempt to force a square peg into a round hole is something that I suppose nearly everyone has tried at least once in their life. We need not go through that motion further. We have found that perfect fit, and for that, I am grateful every day!

Glynn

[redrose]

i did :rrose:

[PinkieLee]

Yes, I do believe in soulmates... but I don't believe that you only have one in your entire lifetime. I believe that you have soulmates for different times in your life.

People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. Each relationship serves a purpose or teaches us lessons on the journey of who we are. Soulmates consist of not only lovers, but can be friends and family as well. It's a connection, that you feel in your soul, that they are meant to be in your life, where you feel completely at peace that you've arrived home. Along the way, I've had that with 2 partners and with my BBFF.

I feel as though if you are only focusing on the goal of finding your "one true love in life" you aren't truly living and learning. Take that energy and focus on living life itself... you can write your own happy ending.

[waxnrope]

I need to think what that term means ... to me. And then I will return, I suspect, with an answer to post.

[Heart]

I think when we obsess about finding a soulmate, we may be waiting for someone to rescue us, make it all better. Ain't gonna happen.

I'm not cynical (I'm NOT!) Just skeptical.

[Beau]

and yep, it does happen ...really and truly

FnRSM3dLSTk

:stillheart:

[Apocalipstic]

I really am not sure that I believe in the soul....

However, I have found someone I love whom I have a ton in common with!

Remember a long term relationship is about commonalities and hard work, there is no magic "we were meant for each other" where everything is always easy.

[Apocalipstic]

Yes, I do believe in soulmates... but I don't believe that you only have one in your entire lifetime. I believe that you have soulmates for different times in your life.

People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. Each relationship serves a purpose or teaches us lessons on the journey of who we are. Soulmates consist of not only lovers, but can be friends and family as well. It's a connection, that you feel in your soul, that they are meant to be in your life, where you feel completely at peace that you've arrived home. Along the way, I've had that with 2 partners and with my BBFF.

I feel as though if you are only focusing on the goal of finding your "one true love in life" you aren't truly living and learning. Take that energy and focus on living life itself... you can write your own happy ending.

I think this is a really good point.

Years ago when the romantics wrote about soul mates, people lived for 40 years mostly. Now that we are free to love and live longer, wonderful people come in and out of our lives!

We change and sometimes who we were at 20 is not who we are at 30 or at 40 or 60.

We can have many loves over the years and it's all GOOD!

[Deborah]

I thought I did but alas it was not meant to be...a sadness dwells in my heart (w)

[katsarecool]

I am positive I believe in soul mates and that this can be true of our pets. I do however believe one can have many soul mates through the years and in spite of a separation or lost connection they can remain in our hearts forever!

[DomnNC]

I found my soulmate and I was blessed to have her in my life for close to 27 years, 10 years as a friend and almost 17 as my wife. Rest in peace darling, as we always said, together forever and one day we'll be together again.

[Soft*Silver]

I have been single for two years now. Contently single most of the time. Certainly content the past year. And in this time, I have learned awhole lot about friendships as opposed to relationships. I have spent my time gleening friendships instead of romances and have found some incredible life long friends. Some, I swear, are soul friends. As deep and rich and chocolatey as a soul mate but I might not have appreciated their qualities had I been dog sniffing a relationship instead of friendships. I can feel their arms embrace me spiritually in some cosmic fold, secure over the ages, throughout time, over space, no more obstacles in this life to seperate us. I feel so cherished by them...and I can weep over the love I have for them in my own heart...

I have grown so much as a soul these past two years. Sometimes I am just the earth girl whining. Sometimes I am the spirit soaring. Either way, its a delight in this life...both sides of the same coin...

[MsTinkerbelly]

Why yes,yes I have.:heartbeat:

[katsarecool]

I have been single for two years now. Contently single most of the time. Certainly content the past year. And in this time, I have learned awhole lot about friendships as opposed to relationships. I have spent my time gleening friendships instead of romances and have found some incredible life long friends. Some, I swear, are soul friends. As deep and rich and chocolatey as a soul mate but I might not have appreciated their qualities had I been dog sniffing a relationship instead of friendships. I can feel their arms embrace me spiritually in some cosmic fold, secure over the ages, throughout time, over space, no more obstacles in this life to seperate us. I feel so cherished by them...and I can weep over the love I have for them in my own heart...

I have grown so much as a soul these past two years. Sometimes I am just the earth girl whining. Sometimes I am the spirit soaring. Either way, its a delight in this life...both sides of the same coin...

Excellent post and I am of a similar state of mind!

[diamondrose]

I think your soulmate doesn't have to be your partner. I think your soulmate can be a best friend

[asphaltcowboi]

yes i think my soul mate is reba! im just sure of it

[Gemme]

I've done some thinking on this matter since I last posted and I think a soul mate is someone that just 'gets' me, be it friend or lover or little old man waiting for the bus on the corner.

I still feel the term holds a certain amount of weight but the weight doesn't have to be in the form of a shackle, I've learned. Organic gets me. My flaws are still there, but through his eyes, they are minimized and his through mine (except the damn snoring...because it's my ears that tell me about that not so little flaw).

But the weight and responsibility can be equally shared and, thus, becomes not a burden but something that builds strength.

[Puplove]

I've done some thinking on this matter since I last posted and I think a soul mate is someone that just 'gets' me, be it friend or lover or little old man waiting for the bus on the corner.

I still feel the term holds a certain amount of weight but the weight doesn't have to be in the form of a shackle, I've learned. Organic gets me. My flaws are still there, but through his eyes, they are minimized and his through mine (except the damn snoring...because it's my ears that tell me about that not so little flaw).

But the weight and responsibility can be equally shared and, thus, becomes not a burden but something that builds strength.

Yeah! What you said.

[girl_dee]

maybe I am a stick in the mud but I don't believe that my soul need or has a mate. My soul is my higher self, it's mine and not to be shared.

I do believe that many people use the term soulmate when actually it's a lustmate they are wooing over.

I also believe in lifemates, fuckmates, housemates, friendmates or whatever but soulmate?, not so much.

How will you know you have been with your *soulmate* until the end?

[Gráinne]

I want someone who compliments my life and makes me want to grow and better myself. I don't believe in the One, the SoulMate, because it is too tempting to pass up perfectly good people because they don't fit some fairy tale picture of what that soulmate should look like. I don't believe in "love happily ever after", because life and love takes work. I also don't believe in meeting the "other half" that completes me. I complete myself. I don't want "half a person", I want a fully complete person with or without me.

Someone else mentioned that now that we live longer, there are different partners for each period of our lives. "Till death do us part" might work when we only lived until 40, but we're living a lot longer than that now. Who can say that the person we flipped for at 20 would stir us up at 50? Maybe rarely, but not much.

I think there are many possible partners we could be compatible with, and so it pays to be even more dilligent about "screening" who we go with.

[Sam]

i literally dont believe, but i dare to be proved wrong ha

[Passionaria]

:praying: No, I have not, but I have had some delicious fun looking for them, a bit like wine tasting night at Whole Foods. I can admit to favoring a smooth, fragrant Spanish Tempranillo.

[Nightshade]

I don't believe in a soul. But I get the spirit (<-- see what I did there?) of the question.

I don't believe there is one person who is our perfect partner. I do believe there are people who see us for who we truly are and not who they want us to be, or even who WE want them to see. I believe there are people who are wonderful fits for our personalities, our lifestyles, our strengths and weaknesses. There are partners in crime and zigs to our zags.

I've met several of these folks who fit me well, and for one reason or another (choices, life experiences, issues, scars and whatnot) we've parted ways.

I hope someday to find someone with their eyes wide open who likes what they see and can stay for the duration.

[Gemme]

He gave me the last frownie after a really shitty day.

I think I found mine.

[girl_dee]

I guess I won't know until the end of the journey.

[Blade]

Not to my knowledge.....wouldn't that be terrible if I have and didn't know it?

[lionpaw]

I found mine....The strange part about it was I knew it the moment it happened....It was so different from my previous past relationships....

[FemmeMagnet]

I have yet to find my soul mate, but i have yet to find my lost remote either, But in time i just might...behind the sofa maybe?

[iamkeri1]

The first time my darlin' kissed me was the best kiss I had in my life till then, but still it got better. The first time we made love, it was the best ever till then, but still it got better. Our life together was easy. We would watch Oprah and hear how hard you had to work to make a relationship work and we would look at each other and say - "What is she talking about? Do you feel like our relationship is hard work?" We had problems and changes, for sure. (He transitioned ftm, and I can't think of a bigger change than that, LOL - except for adopting four kids, which we also did), but events always brought us closer rather than further apart. That was our committment to each other at our wedding - to grow closer together throughout our lives. We only got to have twenty-five years together before his death, so I can't swear that we would have stayed together, but I BELIEVE we would have.

Was he my soulmate? I don't know. But he was definetly the RIGHT person for me.

If he was my soulmate, I hope there is another out there finding his/her way to me. If not then I hope there is another RIGHT person, and that we find each other soon before I am too old to recognise it when it happens!

:rrose::rrose::rrose::rrose::rrose::rrose:Smooches , :rrose::rrose::rrose::rrose::rrose::rrose:
Keri