Mental Illness

[Jedi]

I really think we should have a place where we can discuss and get support here. So many people think of this as an excuse when there are some of us who take medication daily and struggle to lead "normal" lives. Even if you just discuss what medication you are on and how it helps you or medication you were on what it did. Or...If you have found a way to cope without the need of medication. I have a feeling that we have more people out there than just me who need support. Even my own parents thought of this as an excuse until I fully explained what I go through in my head just to function.

I seriously hope others come here and back me in this and we can start a thread that really helps others. It is so needed.


Giving help and hope to those in need,

Jedi

[Jedi]

[QUOTE=June;95105]Jedi - I totally agree, this is a great idea for a thread. Just a couple of things:

1. Please only speak of your own personal experiences, not those who you think might be mentally ill. They get to tell their own stories, or not.

2. Remember, this is a public website, so it's not truly a "safe" space. Keep that in mind when posting about your experiences and disclose only what you feel comfortable sharing with -potentially- the rest of the world.

:junesmiley:[/QUOTE

June,

That was all I intended. I only want to here from those who take may or may not take meds but struggle daily as I do.

Jedi]

[Jedi]

[QUOTE=June;95105]Jedi - I totally agree, this is a great idea for a thread. Just a couple of things:

1. Please only speak of your own personal experiences, not those who you think might be mentally ill. They get to tell their own stories, or not.

2. Remember, this is a public website, so it's not truly a "safe" space. Keep that in mind when posting about your experiences and disclose only what you feel comfortable sharing with -potentially- the rest of the world.

:junesmiley:[/QUOTE

June,

That was all I intended. I only want to here from those who take may or may not take meds but struggle daily as I do.

Jedi]
Sorry about the typos

[Apocalipstic]

Hey there Jedi! There is another thread on mental Illness that Darth Benkay started, I will try to find it later.

But on the subject of meds I have a long history.

I had a bad experience on lithium and several related drugs in my 20's, which I finally stopped taking "cold turkey". I can't even put into works how hard it was and the harm it caused me mentally.

For many years I refused meds, but finally after much reading and reflection I started on SSRI's with really good results.

When I stop taking my meds I am too anxious and frozen to even leave the house.

Yes I do have some side effects, mainly weight gain, but I would rather be fat than too crazy to leave the house.

I take Lexapro, Cymbalta and have Ativan for anxiety. I have way cut back on the Ativan though over time, which I am proud of.

I go to a therapist and we are working on brain-spotting for my PTSD and removing as many things from my life which make me anxious as I can. Relearning behaviors, setting boundaries and so forth.

Great idea for a thread JediMaster. No worries with the spelling!

[Andrew, Jr.]

Hi Jedi! Good to see you bro!

I take multiple meds for various health problems I have (diabetes, heart disease following a heart attack, high blood pressure, etc.), depression, anxiety, and neurological deficits that I have.

I don't live a lie, and am very open about my health and how it sudden has gone from good to piss poor. I find it very frustrating when other people gossip about me being a drug user and abuser. Sheesh. No, I am not. It is all under the care of many doctors. Believe you me. I am footing the bill.

I find it heart breaking when I think about the psychiatrist who broke the Hippa laws thinking it was ok to discuss my issues openly with my parents (my father is a retired physician). I think of the ol' boys club. And that is what it was like for me. I tried many therapists, but none really helped me. The damage was done. The hurt is greater than the wound if that makes sense. I have limits and boundaries that I have set in place.

I have discussed all of this with my current doctors and have legal documents in hand barring my parents from any interference with my healthcare now. I find it interesting that living a life of integrity is more peace-filled than I ever can imagined before.

I also will tell you that if you lock onto my name, go do a search of the posts I have done already, and you will find us at the other thread we are on that Apocalipstic told you about. It is very good.

Namaste,
Andrew

[Jedi]

Hi Jedi! Good to see you bro!

I take multiple meds for various health problems I have (diabetes, heart disease following a heart attack, high blood pressure, etc.), depression, anxiety, and neurological deficits that I have.

I don't live a lie, and am very open about my health and how it sudden has gone from good to piss poor. I find it very frustrating when other people gossip about me being a drug user and abuser. Sheesh. No, I am not. It is all under the care of many doctors. Believe you me. I am footing the bill.

I find it heart breaking when I think about the psychiatrist who broke the Hippa laws thinking it was ok to discuss my issues openly with my parents (my father is a retired physician). I think of the ol' boys club. And that is what it was like for me. I tried many therapists, but none really helped me. The damage was done. The hurt is greater than the wound if that makes sense. I have limits and boundaries that I have set in place.

I have discussed all of this with my current doctors and have legal documents in hand barring my parents from any interference with my healthcare now. I find it interesting that living a life of integrity is more peace-filled than I ever can imagined before.

I also will tell you that if you lock onto my name, go do a search of the posts I have done already, and you will find us at the other thread we are on that Apocalipstic told you about. It is very good.

Namaste,
Andrew



Andrew,

I'M SORRY FOR WHAT YOU WENT THROUGH. That being said...I wanna hear from those who also take meds and try to live "normal lives."
It never seems to be ok to jusdt be mentally ill anymore. You have to have other illnesses on top of it. Mine don't debilitate me but could if I let them. i fight so hard not to be a statistic. I would love to be recognized for that. I know that isn't really gonna be the case......but I fight nonetheless.

Jedi

[Apocalipstic]

Andrew,

I'M SORRY FOR WHAT YOU WENT THROUGH. That being said...I wanna hear from those who also take meds and try to live "normal lives."
It never seems to be ok to jusdt be mentally ill anymore. You have to have other illnesses on top of it. Mine don't debilitate me but could if I let them. i fight so hard not to be a statistic. I would love to be recognized for that. I know that isn't really gonna be the case......but I fight nonetheless.

Jedi


I get up, take my meds and go to work every day!

We should be proud that we overcome incredible odds to exist every day!

[Andrew, Jr.]

Yes we do! We take our meds, and go on living as best we can. We live life fully. It is the other folks who have the issues with us. They think of us as freaks, or wacko. I have heard it all. The negative stigma is overwhelming at times. People always disappoint me. Always. :overreaction: Remember health is a gift. Having exceptional health is something to be treasured.

[Jedi]

Today was a rough day. I did many things I don't normally do. My roommate who is in wheelchair had a rough day where her chair died. i rescued her. Why am I the rescuer for so many....including an ex who really hurt me to my core?

[dixie]

Today was a rough day. I did many things I don't normally do. My roommate who is in wheelchair had a rough day where her chair died. i rescued her. Why am I the rescuer for so many....including an ex who really hurt me to my core?

Hmm... I guess some of us just have a tendency to fall into that rescuer mode. I know I have played rescuer on many occassions, even when 9 times out of 10 i couldn't even rescue myself.


As for mental illness itself, most people know me and know what I have been through the last couple years. I've always (as far back as I can remember) struggled with mental illness, eventhough I never really knew that's what my problem was. I just thought I was a bad person who gave in to some promiscuity, drained my bank accounts, lived dangerously and impulsively, and just in general made bad choices. In April of 2008, after being in a "bad" relationship, I had yet another run in with the "s" word. (Suicide.) I ended up in the psych ward for a few weeks. That's where I learned that I had a laundry list of previously undiagnosed mental health issues, the main being Bipolar. I was shocked to learn that this illness had been a major factor in all those "bad" decisions I had made in my life. I was started on medications and thanks to group and individual therapy I began learning how to cope.

I returned to work but had to see a therapist and psychologist at least 3 times a week, since I was newly diagnosed. My employer was very generous and understanding in the beginning, or so I thought. A couple months later, I received a call at home from the main optometrist in the office I worked at. I was told this: "We have tried to be understanding of your illness but it just isn't working out. Don't bother coming back to your job, you have already been replaced." Wow.. I had only had one day off that week, so it made me wonder how long they had been looking for my replacement.

Losing my job meant losing the excellent insurance benefits that came with it. I was really worried about how I was going to continue treatment. Luckily, I discovered a nonprofit mental health facility in my hometown. I began treatment there, which was really great. They handled my therapy, my medications, and also assigned me an "advocate" who helped me in day to day living, so to speak. Things were looking up. I had a few setbacks, but things were finally evening out. Then the inevitable seemed to happen...

I have had no treatment or medication since June of 2009. The nonprofit facility shut its doors due to an employee embezzling all of their funds. I went to my weekly appointment to find a note taped to their door, explaining the situation. No apology. No referrals to other agencies. Nothing. There have been no other services available in my area. (A very rural area.)

I have tried as recently as two weeks ago to see if any new services have come available. Two Fridays ago I went to our county's health and social services offices. They were really friendly until I asked about mental health services. I was promptly "shoo'd" out of their offices. I guess mentioning mental health to them equates to "omg, a raving psychotic maniac in our presence".

I'm not quite sure what to do now. I've been trying to train my mind with the exercises I learned in the hospital and from tips I've learned while researching online. I admit that I am doing better now than I was this time last year, but I still need help. I have days when I can't get out of bed. I have days when I have "awakened" from a "trance", and felt pain in my arm. I look down at my arm to realize that I had been digging my fingernails down my inner forearm until the skin is hanging, and blood dripping. I have days when I am so manic that I literally want to pull my hair out strand by strand, because I am so anxious and my mind will NOT stop! Luckily, the "s" word hasn't creeped up on me in months. Even that small step is momentous to me, because I have been attempting suicide on different occasions since age 10. (The first attempt that I remember.)

I have so many symptoms, so many phobias, so many "hang-ups". And as of this year I can add hallucinations (auditory and visual) to the list. I'm scared. I know what I am capable of if left to my own devices. I know I need help and treatment. But unfortunately, it's just not available for me right now. I am lucky, however, that I have a very good support team made up of friends and family. If it weren't for them, I know this road would be even more challenging.

[Soon]

<snip>

I have had no treatment or medication since June of 2009. The nonprofit facility shut its doors due to an employee embezzling all of their funds. I went to my weekly appointment to find a note taped to their door, explaining the situation. No apology. No referrals to other agencies. Nothing. There have been no other services available in my area. (A very rural area.)

I have tried as recently as two weeks ago to see if any new services have come available. Two Fridays ago I went to our county's health and social services offices. They were really friendly until I asked about mental health services. I was promptly "shoo'd" out of their offices. I guess mentioning mental health to them equates to "omg, a raving psychotic maniac in our presence".

I'm not quite sure what to do now. I've been trying to train my mind with the exercises I learned in the hospital and from tips I've learned while researching online. I admit that I am doing better now than I was this time last year, but I still need help. I have days when I can't get out of bed. I have days when I have "awakened" from a "trance", and felt pain in my arm. I look down at my arm to realize that I had been digging my fingernails down my inner forearm until the skin is hanging, and blood dripping. I have days when I am so manic that I literally want to pull my hair out strand by strand, because I am so anxious and my mind will NOT stop! Luckily, the "s" word hasn't creeped up on me in months. Even that small step is momentous to me, because I have been attempting suicide on different occasions since age 10. (The first attempt that I remember.)

I have so many symptoms, so many phobias, so many "hang-ups". And as of this year I can add hallucinations (auditory and visual) to the list. I'm scared. I know what I am capable of if left to my own devices. I know I need help and treatment. But unfortunately, it's just not available for me right now. I am lucky, however, that I have a very good support team made up of friends and family. If it weren't for them, I know this road would be even more challenging.




Dixie,

Maybe if you feel comfortable posting about where you are (general area?) located, some of the BFP'ers may have some resources in which you can access. Or, perhaps, there are people who know Dixie and or can PM her with some options?

I am sorry to hear of the unavailability of resources/treatment at the moment. I am hoping, with this post, some will offer advice/suggestions/options.

All the best to you and everyone.

[dixie]

Dixie,

Maybe if you feel comfortable posting about where you are (general area?) located, some of the BFP'ers may have some resources in which you can access. Or, perhaps, there are people who know Dixie and or can PM her with some options?

I am sorry to hear of the unavailability of resources/treatment at the moment. I am hoping, with this post, some will offer advice/suggestions/options.

All the best to you and everyone.



I'm fine with that. Heaven knows I need all the help I can get. I live in western North Carolina. The surrounding counties have facilities, but most have told me that since I'm not a citizen of their county they can't help me. (Due to their funding obligations criteria.)

[DapperButch]

Losing my job meant losing the excellent insurance benefits that came with it. ...

I have had no treatment or medication since June of 2009. The nonprofit facility shut its doors due to an employee embezzling all of their funds. I went to my weekly appointment to find a note taped to their door, explaining the situation. No apology. No referrals to other agencies. Nothing. There have been no other services available in my area. (A very rural area.)

I have tried as recently as two weeks ago to see if any new services have come available. Two Fridays ago I went to our county's health and social services offices. They were really friendly until I asked about mental health services. I was promptly "shoo'd" out of their offices. I guess mentioning mental health to them equates to "omg, a raving psychotic maniac in our presence".



I'm fine with that. Heaven knows I need all the help I can get. I live in western North Carolina. The surrounding counties have facilities, but most have told me that since I'm not a citizen of their county they can't help me. (Due to their funding obligations criteria.)


Hi, dixielady. I am sorry that the nonprofit agency in your area (I am assuming it was a community mental health center?), closed its doors.

The county is responsible for its residents and so the people who were going to that center, must have gone somewhere?

I assume that you either have Medicaid, or are uninsured?

If you have Medicaid, you can call them/look online, and they will give you a list of providers in your area. Medicaid actually pays better than most private insurances (for outpatient mental health treatment), so you should be able to find private practitioners in your area that do take Medicaid.

If you are uninsured, the county/NC has to supply you with something, or approve you going to another county. What did the people at Health and Social Services tell you? If you have a Mental Health and Hygiene Department, check them out. Otherwise, contact Health and social services again and push the issue. Again, the clients from the agency you went to have to be getting services somewhere (otherwise the hospitals would most likely have had a very significant increase in admissions since 6/2009 and you would have heard about it)...many of these people probably receive services from Health and Social Services as well, so that organization must know something. :-(

Good luck to you. I'm sorry this has happened.

[dixie]

Hi, dixielady. I am sorry that the nonprofit agency in your area (I am assuming it was a community mental health center?), closed its doors.

The county is responsible for its residents and so the people who were going to that center, must have gone somewhere?

I assume that you either have Medicaid, or are uninsured?

If you have Medicaid, you can call them/look online, and they will give you a list of providers in your area. Medicaid actually pays better than most private insurances (for outpatient mental health treatment), so you should be able to find private practitioners in your area that do take Medicaid.

If you are uninsured, the county/NC has to supply you with something, or approve you going to another county. What did the people at Health and Social Services tell you? If you have a Mental Health and Hygiene Department, check them out. Otherwise, contact Health and social services again and push the issue. Again, the clients from the agency you went to have to be getting services somewhere (otherwise the hospitals would most likely have had a very significant increase in admissions since 6/2009 and you would have heard about it)...many of these people probably receive services from Health and Social Services as well, so that organization must know something. :-(

Good luck to you. I'm sorry this has happened.

Thank you.

The agency I went to was a private nonprofit. My county doesn't seem to offer any type of mental health program, or none that I can find anyway. At the social services (DSS) offices, they claim they have never heard of such programs. At the actual health department, they claim they don't treat such things.

I am uninsured still. When I lost my job my son was able to get NC Healthchoice (which is similar to Medicaid) but for some reason I don't qualify. Or at least, I do qualify but I would have to pay $2000 out-of-pocket before it would pay anything. Kinda seems pointless to me. If I'm going to pay a couple grand on my own, I might as well pay it all, ya know?

I will keep searching and keep harassing my county until I figure something out...

Thanks to everyone for the help and advice though. I really appreciate it. :)

[chefhottie25]

I really think we should have a place where we can discuss and get support here. So many people think of this as an excuse when there are some of us who take medication daily and struggle to lead "normal" lives. Even if you just discuss what medication you are on and how it helps you or medication you were on what it did. Or...If you have found a way to cope without the need of medication. I have a feeling that we have more people out there than just me who need support. Even my own parents thought of this as an excuse until I fully explained what I go through in my head just to function.

I seriously hope others come here and back me in this and we can start a thread that really helps others. It is so needed.


Giving help and hope to those in need,






Jedi



Jedi, I am happy you started this thread. I suffer from schizophrenia...but I am well medicated and attend therapy and a support group once a week. I don't have insurance...but my local mental health clinic provides me with all of it. I was diagnosed 2 years ago after getting clean from a heroin and cocaine addiction. Since my recent group of meds have taken affect I feel stable, and I have not suffered any symptoms like visual and auditory hallucinations. I have been through a fair amount of med changes...and finally I think I have the right combination. I rely on structure to take my meds. I take them the exact same time every day. I also don't feel like a zombie anymore. Meds I took earlier made me feel that way...so I would quit taking them, which made things worse. I was hospitalized 5 times in the past 18 months. I have adjusted to the way I now have to live my life. I am aware of my stressors and triggers...that alone is a big acomplishment for me. I do feel less emotional than I used to be...but I am adjusting to that. I am proof that meds, therapy, and support work. I don't know if I will ever be normal, but I can function very well like this.

[DapperButch]

Thank you.

The agency I went to was a private nonprofit. My county doesn't seem to offer any type of mental health program, or none that I can find anyway. At the social services (DSS) offices, they claim they have never heard of such programs. At the actual health department, they claim they don't treat such things.

I am uninsured still. When I lost my job my son was able to get NC Healthchoice (which is similar to Medicaid) but for some reason I don't qualify. Or at least, I do qualify but I would have to pay $2000 out-of-pocket before it would pay anything. Kinda seems pointless to me. If I'm going to pay a couple grand on my own, I might as well pay it all, ya know?

I will keep searching and keep harassing my county until I figure something out...

Thanks to everyone for the help and advice though. I really appreciate it. :)

I'm sorry, dixielady, you did say nonprofit. The State (MD) that I worked in changed all of our community mental health centers into private, nonprofit agencies in the mid-'90's, so I went to right to that in my head.

I looked up Medicaid in your State: http://www.dhhs.state.nc.us/dma/medicaid/basicmedelig.pdf. If you look at page two it talks about eligibility requirments and the deductible that you speak of, which is based on your income. This should give you an idea as to how they made that determination (and you can check their work!)

Check out this link: http://www.dhhs.state.nc.us/mhddsas/lmedirectory.htm

It is for North Carolina's Division of Mental Health, Developmental Disabilities, and Substance Abuse Services. Choose your county and make the call. If you cannot find your county on the list, for some reason, call the closest one and ask them who to call.

I wish you luck. I know that the "system" can be frustrating and overwhelming. Also, people don't always take the time to explain it all to residents. If you would like, you can PM me and I can make phone calls to find out information for you. Since I am working from a place of general knowledge about how our government entitlement programs work, it would not be too hard for me, and I have no problem "pushing people" to get what others are entitled to/need.

I just hate to see you not get what you need due to people not being helpful to you. It makes me angry when I hear of government agencies "shooing people away", when it is their job to do just the opposite.

Take care.

[Andrew, Jr.]

I hate to see this. Another example of how people fall thru the cracks who need help here in America. This is why I am all for universal healthcare coverage. Everyone should have it. I would not mind paying higher taxes to see that everyone was covered. I also would like to see the people who are at the highest income brackets pay a lot more towards this.

[Jedi]

Well.....to be totally honest, I function but I am not happy.....not usually anyway. I still get calls from my crazy ex. I'm still trying to recover from what she did. It really damaged me.

[Andrew, Jr.]

Jedi,

I am sorry to hear this. I wish you peace from here on out.

Andrew

[SuperFemme]

It's Psych Week on Discovery Health Channel. Starts tonight at 9 pm est.
Here is a preview, I will be tuning in and hoping to learn something all week.

GV0rT_UAGQw

[Darth Denkay]

Hey Jedi,

I like the focus for this thread - the medications we need to live. I live with depression/anxiety. I was diagnosed when I was 15 - I'm 37 now. I've been on a series of meds - every few years have to change because the brain gets used to the current ones. Currently I'm on fluoxetine, lamictal, and xanax. They're doing the trick. Also see a therapist once, sometimes twice a month. Right now maintaining pretty well - course I've had 22 years of practice!!!

This seems like a good place to share a frustration of mine. Have you ever been in a conversation talking about someone who appears to be having a bad day, and someone says, "guess they didn't take their prozac today"? I find that horribly offensive, making light of those of us who do take meds and need these meds, not just to try to be in a good mood but to survive. Even worse, if you're having a bad day and someone asks you if you remembered to take your meds (especially folks who know you take meds). I've expressed my frustration when folks make these comments, but on only one instance have I had someone take me seriously. I try to just let it go, but in my mind it's one more way that mental illness is reduced to the "it's all in your head - get over it" mentality. Anyone else experience this???

[Andrew, Jr.]

I always get remarks like what you posted Darth. It goes thru me like bullets. Obviously the person making the remark has no clue as to what it is to suffer from anxiety or depression. I wouldn't wish this on anyone. It is pure hell. So, when some jackass makes a remark like that - it shows their lack of respect towards me or whomever, and shows the kind of person they are.

It isn't in my head. It was the knife being held at my throat. Or when my sisters (I have 4 older sisters) who came to me for protection from our father. So no, it isn't in my head.

Andrew

[Jedi]

Hey Jedi,

I like the focus for this thread - the medications we need to live. I live with depression/anxiety. I was diagnosed when I was 15 - I'm 37 now. I've been on a series of meds - every few years have to change because the brain gets used to the current ones. Currently I'm on fluoxetine, lamictal, and xanax. They're doing the trick. Also see a therapist once, sometimes twice a month. Right now maintaining pretty well - course I've had 22 years of practice!!!

This seems like a good place to share a frustration of mine. Have you ever been in a conversation talking about someone who appears to be having a bad day, and someone says, "guess they didn't take their prozac today"? I find that horribly offensive, making light of those of us who do take meds and need these meds, not just to try to be in a good mood but to survive. Even worse, if you're having a bad day and someone asks you if you remembered to take your meds (especially folks who know you take meds). I've expressed my frustration when folks make these comments, but on only one instance have I had someone take me seriously. I try to just let it go, but in my mind it's one more way that mental illness is reduced to the "it's all in your head - get over it" mentality. Anyone else experience this???

Denkay...

I can soooo relate......BUT.....I'm not defending those who think they are funny. I forget to take my meds sometimes. Even though they are sitting out in plain sight. So...some do have to ask if I took my meds and yes even if I forgot I still get rather offended. Just missing 1 day can mess me up. Not majorly....but enough to be noticed in how I feel. I'm pretty in tune with myself. But I'm human and have my off days. And just because I'm having an off day, doesn't mean I need a med change or extra therapy either. Some people are at such a loss that they suggest the absurd, thinking they are being helpful because they don't know what else to say. My big peeve....is people who think your mental illness is just an excuse. That really upsets me. I mean....you think I really want to hallucinate and show how my thinking and judgement get clouded? Like I don't view it as a weakness sometimes...you know? Like...I don't like it used against me when I strive so hard to overcome it and live as normal as I can.....in spite of the fact it's there. :soapbox: OK...I'll get off my soapbox now.

Everyone....thank you for showing me support....I'm going through a rough time right now and have no idea when it will get easier.

Jedi

[Jedi]

I had been feeling increasingly depressed lately. For a number of reasons....

I'm working this temporary job and was sent out of town on business last week. I was given work this week in Delray Beach this week and it's about 17 miles....not far. At my last 45 minutes...I was given this 6 ft section...I asked the project manager to help me set the shelves by moving them with me with the merchandise still on them...it was the quickest way to get the section moved as it was all saline and contact lens cleaner and eye drops (I'm doing a walgreens reset)...well anyway...before I ramble on...long story short...he helped me out and then tonight as I was leaving he told me I was doing really well...and everytime he comes out to me on the floor while I'm working on an area he always says..."Let's set the pace" and things like that.
So...I didn't think I was doing so well. I was busting my butt to only touch things once and get stuff moved. And I was stuck with peg hooks again...and was given about 9 ft to do by myself. It took me 6 1/5 hrs. So...the 45 minutes for 6 ft was really unrealistic. And I had an idea that totally gave us a jump for morning shift. And, he said I was really doing good work...that felt good. I was afraid (the way they kept checking on me), that I was moving too slow. And I thought I heard my name mentioned and a "yeah...I'll talk to her" but that could just be my illness. And I hate that kind of stuff. It doesn't happen too often, but when it does...... I kept my mouth shut and my mind on doing the job. And it appears to be nothing.

I feel really good that I'm doing much better than what I had been thinking all day. Another thing I hate about the illness...it makes me doubt myself. And it isn't rational...so it doesn't sit well with me. I functioned in spite of it and I think a lot of it is thanks to medication. Which I remembered to take today... So today was a good day.

Here's hoping you all had a good day, too... (I try to remember to count my blessings everyday)

[chefhottie25]

I had been feeling increasingly depressed lately. For a number of reasons....

I'm working this temporary job and was sent out of town on business last week. I was given work this week in Delray Beach this week and it's about 17 miles....not far. At my last 45 minutes...I was given this 6 ft section...I asked the project manager to help me set the shelves by moving them with me with the merchandise still on them...it was the quickest way to get the section moved as it was all saline and contact lens cleaner and eye drops (I'm doing a walgreens reset)...well anyway...before I ramble on...long story short...he helped me out and then tonight as I was leaving he told me I was doing really well...and everytime he comes out to me on the floor while I'm working on an area he always says..."Let's set the pace" and things like that.
So...I didn't think I was doing so well. I was busting my butt to only touch things once and get stuff moved. And I was stuck with peg hooks again...and was given about 9 ft to do by myself. It took me 6 1/5 hrs. So...the 45 minutes for 6 ft was really unrealistic. And I had an idea that totally gave us a jump for morning shift. And, he said I was really doing good work...that felt good. I was afraid (the way they kept checking on me), that I was moving too slow. And I thought I heard my name mentioned and a "yeah...I'll talk to her" but that could just be my illness. And I hate that kind of stuff. It doesn't happen too often, but when it does...... I kept my mouth shut and my mind on doing the job. And it appears to be nothing.

I feel really good that I'm doing much better than what I had been thinking all day. Another thing I hate about the illness...it makes me doubt myself. And it isn't rational...so it doesn't sit well with me. I functioned in spite of it and I think a lot of it is thanks to medication. Which I remembered to take today... So today was a good day.

Here's hoping you all had a good day, too... (I try to remember to count my blessings everyday)

I can relate to the self doubt. I do it all the time...even when I am doing things I know that I did well before my diagnosis. I just started a new job and I have been experiencing that a lot lately. I just keep telling myself to keep at it, that I am being too hard on myself.

[Jedi]

I can relate to the self doubt. I do it all the time...even when I am doing things I know that I did well before my diagnosis. I just started a new job and I have been experiencing that a lot lately. I just keep telling myself to keep at it, that I am being too hard on myself.

I'm glad someone else out there can relate...I feel less alone. Forgot my meds today. Remembered before it was too late though. I hate when that happens. And I engaged in some typical sick behavior today which disturbed me. I just don't like when I have days like these. Although.....the depression isn't as bad.

[Andrew, Jr.]

I hope everyone is doing well. Enjoy your weekend! :peacelove:

[Heart]

"Depression is not a sign of weakness - it is a sign that you have been trying to be strong for too long."

The National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) http://www.nami.org.

[Jedi]

"Depression is not a sign of weakness - it is a sign that you have been trying to be strong for too long."

The National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) http://www.nami.org.

Very nice...I keep getting told I'm stronger than I think.

[Andrew, Jr.]

Has anyone been watching the Discovery Health series on mental illness? I only got to watch 1 show of it. I have been way too busy to catch it when it has been on.

[chefhottie25]

"Depression is not a sign of weakness - it is a sign that you have been trying to be strong for too long."

The National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) http://www.nami.org.

This is a great quote. I would also encourage people to check out the NAMI website that you linked. They offer some amazing support groups. I attend one here at the local NAMI branch. There is also a group for family members, partners,and friends of someone who suffers from mental illness. My dad has found the group to be supportive and insightful.

[Andrew, Jr.]

This place holds me together on some days. Today is one of those days.

[Jedi]

This place holds me together on some days. Today is one of those days.


Hang in there Andrew. We're here for you.

[lilapache]

i had this same thing sent to me on facebook... never really thought of it that way... *smiles* of course i haven't been thinking right for awhile... but i'm starting to get back on track...

"Depression is not a sign of weakness - it is a sign that you have been trying to be strong for too long."

The National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) http://www.nami.org.

[Leigh]

I've been on disability for depression and panic/anxiety attacks for almost three years now, and despite that I try not to let things get Me down. I'm on wellbutrin now and it seems to be doing the trick; I was on celexa at one point and when that didn't work anymore they tried Me on effexor ...... well, I took that for only a week and it was a disaster. On effexor I was constantly dizzy, weak, shaky and had to sleep ~ I couldn't take it so wellbutrin it's been and for Me its working perfectly fine.

I have to admit that coming out as being FTM has soared My confidence and self-esteem along with the meds, I've noticed a considerable change in Myself in so many ways. I'm thankful for the meds, though some may think it sound weird, without them I don't think I'd be able to function properly. Some days I just wanna throw the pill bottle out the window, but then again as long as they help Me then I will continue to take them. I'm glad that we have threads like this on the Planet because not only does it give those of us with mental health issues a place to vent and talk about stuff with others who know what we are going through, but it also just gives us the knowledge that we're not alone!

I'm thankful for all of you :)

[lilapache]

i have a question... how long did it take before the celexa quit working for you?... see... i'm trying to get back on meds... i went back to my old ones because honestly i can't afford the dr. visit or the meds... and the mental health clinic around here says i make to much and they want 100 bucks... anyway... the celexa was NOT slowing my head down... o... btw.. i'm TypeII Bi-Polar with panic disorder and chronic depression... i've been unmedicated idk... about 3 years this time... and i've come to realize i CAN NOT survive without medication anymore... my head just gets WAYYY to far gone... then i become a very bad danger to myself... yeah this was just recent... i want my old med back which was lexapro... i'm workin on doin that once i get moved... after the celexa i've been on ritalin... and its helped some as far as slowing the thought processes... but its not enough... i can tell... to the point i've gone into manics and have been taking as much overtime as i can to exhaust myself enough to not think when i try and go to sleep...

anyway... i digressed... sorry... that's what happens...

but please how long did it take before the meds quit working on you...

I've been on disability for depression and panic/anxiety attacks for almost three years now, and despite that I try not to let things get Me down. I'm on wellbutrin now and it seems to be doing the trick; I was on celexa at one point and when that didn't work anymore they tried Me on effexor ...... well, I took that for only a week and it was a disaster. On effexor I was constantly dizzy, weak, shaky and had to sleep ~ I couldn't take it so wellbutrin it's been and for Me its working perfectly fine.

I have to admit that coming out as being FTM has soared My confidence and self-esteem along with the meds, I've noticed a considerable change in Myself in so many ways. I'm thankful for the meds, though some may think it sound weird, without them I don't think I'd be able to function properly. Some days I just wanna throw the pill bottle out the window, but then again as long as they help Me then I will continue to take them. I'm glad that we have threads like this on the Planet because not only does it give those of us with mental health issues a place to vent and talk about stuff with others who know what we are going through, but it also just gives us the knowledge that we're not alone!

I'm thankful for all of you :)

[Andrew, Jr.]

I feel like I am standing at the edge of a cliff ready to fall. That is what my depression is like today. I fight it day in and day out. I am tired of battling it constantly.

Braedon, your symptoms and mine are pretty much 100% the same. I too get the anxiety and panic attacks. They are aweful. But I am an Aspi, and don't have bipolar disorder (according to the therapist).

I too am grateful for everyone here.

[Jedi]

I've been on disability for depression and panic/anxiety attacks for almost three years now, and despite that I try not to let things get Me down. I'm on wellbutrin now and it seems to be doing the trick; I was on celexa at one point and when that didn't work anymore they tried Me on effexor ...... well, I took that for only a week and it was a disaster. On effexor I was constantly dizzy, weak, shaky and had to sleep ~ I couldn't take it so wellbutrin it's been and for Me its working perfectly fine.

I have to admit that coming out as being FTM has soared My confidence and self-esteem along with the meds, I've noticed a considerable change in Myself in so many ways. I'm thankful for the meds, though some may think it sound weird, without them I don't think I'd be able to function properly. Some days I just wanna throw the pill bottle out the window, but then again as long as they help Me then I will continue to take them. I'm glad that we have threads like this on the Planet because not only does it give those of us with mental health issues a place to vent and talk about stuff with others who know what we are going through, but it also just gives us the knowledge that we're not alone!

I'm thankful for all of you :)

I sooooo know about the functioning part...I can relate totally. I thank God for my meds and that they work. I have had meds stop working before......and lilapache.....for me it was after several years on the medication. I have been on Effexor but didn't like the side effects. The medicine that plateaued (when they stop working) for me was Paxil. And I had a rough time coming off the Paxil even after it stopped working....I had some serious "brain zap" (another med term.....for a symptom that I can only describe as my nerves throbbing). Any paxil derivitive gives me brain zap. I was on the newest form and it was bad coming off. I believe that one is called Pexeva. Keep in mind not everyone has the same chemistry.....that's why there are so many drugs out there. And almost infinite combinations there of. I'm on Invega, Prozac, and Wellbutrin (low dose) and xanax for when I have anxiety attacks and the like. My combo has been working for the last 9 months.....keep your fingers crossed it continues.

Just remember.....no matter how you feel......you are not alone.

[Andrew, Jr.]

Today I just feel very isolated and depressed.

[Jedi]

Today I just feel very isolated and depressed.


Andrew......giving you a brotherly hug......you're ok......

[Andrew, Jr.]

Thanks Jedi, but no I am not. Not by a long shot.

[lilapache]

*sighs* today... not a good day at all...

[Andrew, Jr.]

I know...I have been crying alot today.

[DamonK]

I have bipolar with rapid cycling and traits of borderline personality disorder. Luckily, the only thing that's "confirmed" is bipolar.

There was a time that I would say "I'm bipolar" but eventually, I realized I have bipolar. It doesn't have me. Oh, there are days it wins out, of course. Here lately, those days are diminishing.

I recently went back on meds. About 1 week ago, I did my final step up dose to what I should be to level out.

I've never seen so many "normal" days on my mood chart and it's only the 17th.

Currently I take 200 mg of Lamictal, 25 mg (I think) of Inderal, and Ativan prn. So far, this combination is helping me.

I may consider returning to therapy, but I'm not certain on that part yet.

I have my good days. I have my bad days.

As long as the good outweigh the bad, I have no complaints.

Good luck everyone.

[lilapache]

I know...I have been crying alot today.


well i just stayed at work a few extra hours so as not to think... well i still think... but at least it don't run away from me.. trying to get this under control again after spiraling so bad... and trying to rebuild myself... its very taxing..

but i have to keep in mind... it's progress... and i know i'm gonna make it...

and thats what you need to keep in mind also... and you know where i am...

[Andrew, Jr.]

Yes. I understand.

[Darth Denkay]

but please how long did it take before the meds quit working on you...

I take daily meds for depression - I have for over 20 years now. I tend to get anywhere from 2-6 years on a specific drug or combo at a time. This means every 2-6 years I need to change meds. The nice thing is that I can sometimes cycle back to a particular drug that I'd been on before. For instance, I started on prozac many moons ago (was the first anti-depressant I took). I've been on a number of other drugs for varying lengths of time in between, and I am taking it now. In fact, this might be the third round of it I've been on, I don't really remember. As for how long a particular med will work for you (general you) I assume it depends on the drug and your neurochemistry. Prozac has worked well for me. Lexapro worked pretty well. Effexor did not work well for me. It's all individual - different meds work for different people and for different periods of time.



There was a time that I would say "I'm bipolar" but eventually, I realized I have bipolar. It doesn't have me. Oh, there are days it wins out, of course. Here lately, those days are diminishing.



This is absolutely wonderful sentiment Damon. I live with depression, but depression is not who I am. Like you, I have good days and bad days, good weeks and even months. SO even though there are times when it is more of a focus in my daily life, it is still never me. I am not depression.

[lilapache]

ok so i finally have a weekend off... but ya know... its so not good to have so much time alone inside my head... even though some of it has been very cathartic... especially since i've gotten rid of alot of stuff in there... but other times... it sucks...

and not having meds that are working right now really sucks also... man i hope when i get this move done i can find an affordable dr... and get the meds i know work... *sighs*

[Jedi]

I have bipolar with rapid cycling and traits of borderline personality disorder. Luckily, the only thing that's "confirmed" is bipolar.

There was a time that I would say "I'm bipolar" but eventually, I realized I have bipolar. It doesn't have me. Oh, there are days it wins out, of course. Here lately, those days are diminishing.

I recently went back on meds. About 1 week ago, I did my final step up dose to what I should be to level out.

I've never seen so many "normal" days on my mood chart and it's only the 17th.

Currently I take 200 mg of Lamictal, 25 mg (I think) of Inderal, and Ativan prn. So far, this combination is helping me.

I may consider returning to therapy, but I'm not certain on that part yet.

I have my good days. I have my bad days.

As long as the good outweigh the bad, I have no complaints.

Good luck everyone.

Glad to see you here.......thanks for the post.

[Jedi]

I know...I have been crying alot today.


Andrew,

I would hug you and give you all the support I could. I hope you know this. No matter what you are going through, you have my support.

Jedi

[WheelieStrong]

..i'm awake after two hours sleep and i have reading issues, i', having to write this as an email first so i can see the text in a larger format.

i have what seems like bipolar disorder and i rapid cycle, apparently my moods change "too quickly" for me to be bipolar lol my mood can change extremely at any point between a matter of minutes and a matter of months i guess, thankfully it's normally at least weeks..
Anyway i currently don't have an actual diagnosis but meds fit etc.. and i REALLY should be on anti psychotic meds *curses diabetes for messing that up*

Depressive periods are my biggest issue, crying all the time, sleeping constantly and still being tired i'm sure you all know it.. But this is the time my people (hallucinations) and voices in my head are most likely to bother me, at all other times i find a way to ignore them or cope even if its by avoidance.

in another post somewhere i mentioned a man in my bedroom, i meant to say bathroom, anyway he is the only one that actually bothers me for an actual reason (other than just being there) he's nasty and i think he intends to hurt me, when i'm down i tend not to shower just so i don't have to be around him on my own for that long, care/the wench/the ex won't sit with me, i've asked, she doesn't understand my mental health issues unless she is somehow using them as a weapon against me but that's a different matter. All my other people only really upset me because i know i shouldn't be seeing them, that and they just stand there and stare at me.
i normally realise i have big problem when i'm down and actually shouting at them to either go the ffff away and leave me alone, let me sleep, or ffffing talk to me so at least i won't be so lonely.

When on a high i normally just ignore them or with the man in my bathroom i can tell him where to go if he doesn't like me in there.

Before meds, my highs were fabulous i was highly functional on 2-3hours sleep, i'd blitz my flat at 3 in the morning, the wench would wake up to my over enthusiastic use of bleach lol i'd be bouncing around to music and singing *blush* i was even a lot more physically active, often to the point of causing an injury cause i wouldn't even rest when my arms hurt.. i had ideas and contributed to conversations around me, was interested in anything and everything, i was weirdly focused yet distracted by everything at the same time and everything around me seriously seemed slower. And i was generally good company if a little loud and having people trying to keep up with train of thought etc, i even had a lot more confidence with men.

Since meds, even if i am not on them, and i'm often not.. i get the inability to sleep, i get the compulsive behaviours which i had before, shopping, gambling, over eating, the uncreased sex drive, drinking blah blah blah, but the lack of sleep now actually leaves me to tired to do much more than lay awake, my aggression and paranoia seem to be around not just when i'm down any more, i could go on.

So while i'm on meds i'm a lot more stable, i lose the MAJOR downs YaY, don't really get high, cope a lot better with my people, but i really do think the price can be too high, i don't laugh, i don't fight for anything, i just let people walk all over me and often actually say thank you and i'm actually more likely to self harm while on meds.
And i am still left with really scarey and obsessional thoughts

i am really thankful for the stability meds give me, i often keep them as a security blanket even if i don't take them i know i have the option..
But i really do wish i could take them without having lost all the good things

and i can't find the text colour i nomally use! :(

[Andrew, Jr.]

I can't stand it when people belittle me for taking meds for my depression and anxiety. I just think about those folks, and what makes them tick. And if they really understand my situation or are just ignoring my past or if they are only children who always got whatever it was they wanted, needed, or desired.

Andrew

[WheelieStrong]

Andrew you really seem sweet..
You definately do whatever works for you!!! FFFF everyone else!

[lilapache]

ok... i've been rapid cycling for almost a week now... what gives... any suggestions on relief... still waiting on med changes...

[WheelieStrong]

ok... i've been rapid cycling for almost a week now... what gives... any suggestions on relief... still waiting on med changes...

unfortunately i have no idea or i would do it myself hon, but definately cut out caffine and other stimulants

[lilapache]

unfortunately i have no idea or i would do it myself hon, but definately cut out caffine and other stimulants

its really weird.. and well honestly at least i've been putting the manics to good use.. working alot of overtime.. but even though i think the mind is exhausted because the body is... as soon as i'm alone or... let my mind wander just a tad... i'll just... *sighs*... its honestly driving me nuts... no pun...

[Jedi]

ok... i've been rapid cycling for almost a week now... what gives... any suggestions on relief... still waiting on med changes...

lilapache....have you ever tried to snap yourself out? Like......shock yourself out?.....something of that nature....I don't know how to describe it other than shock yourself. That works for me. It's unsettling but it works as a distraction.

[Jedi]

its really weird.. and well honestly at least i've been putting the manics to good use.. working alot of overtime.. but even though i think the mind is exhausted because the body is... as soon as i'm alone or... let my mind wander just a tad... i'll just... *sighs*... its honestly driving me nuts... no pun...

lil apache....I'm sorry. I have anxiety meds for times like that for me. where my mind won't chill out. I'm sorry you are struggling so. HUGZ

[lilapache]

lilapache....have you ever tried to snap yourself out? Like......shock yourself out?.....something of that nature....I don't know how to describe it other than shock yourself. That works for me. It's unsettling but it works as a distraction.

yes Jedi that's the only way i've been doing it lately... and yes.. the anxiety meds... sometimes those are hard at work... and *laughs* ok a brighter side but kinda bad to... i work with electricity and i kinda literally shocked myself the other day...

i'm hoping once i get moved and can get everything straightened back out that i can get back to some semblance of normality again... my blood family is wanting me to come back to florida... but... i know the support wouldn't be there... so that's why i'm going where i will have it...

[WheelieStrong]

lilapache....have you ever tried to snap yourself out? Like......shock yourself out?.....something of that nature....I don't know how to describe it other than shock yourself. That works for me. It's unsettling but it works as a distraction.

Please Please Please don't think i am trying to attack anyone or anything, but i really have a problem with this question, because ok lilpache quite litterally used shock treatment.

The question implies control over mental health and i genuinely beleive if there was any, those of us who needs meds, wouldn't need meds.
Also the question makes me think of all those people who have no understanding of mental health issues, say snap out of it, and even tell us we chose/choose to be unwell when we are.
i hope i made sense without souning nasty

[Andrew, Jr.]

I was thinking of the HBO series "Six Feet Under" when Nate's girlfriend's brother (I cannot remember his name) was put in a psych. hospital and adm. electric shock treatments. Mind you this is HBO or Hollywood.

In reality electric shock is still used today to help those who cannot be helped with western medicines. I never have received electric shock before. I know that there is a lot of research being done on magnitics and the Vegas Nerve Stimulator.

[WheelieStrong]

Andrew, my dad's gf had ECT years ago due to major depression, when my sister was facing the possibility, she was reassuring my sister that it actually works.

[lilapache]

ok i soooo didn't mean for it to take on that meaning... i personally haven't done shock therapy... aside of what i accidently do at my job... i do play with electricity at work...

but i do have a few friends that have... and for them its worked quite well...

jedi... yes i have tried to *shock* myself out of it... and most times i do succeed cause i start realizing what my brain is doing verses what is actually happening... believe me its taken a long time to learn that... and many many battles...

[Scorpyobutch]

I have often thought about shock therapy back in the days when I couldn't get out of bed. I also heard of this color therapy whereby the doctor inundates your eyes with color panels. Colors supposedly induce mood changes so if one received the color orange, for instance, it could induce peace or at least a cessation of anxiety. I did this in my head through visualization and it does work.

So far, the only drug that did not work for me was Paxil. I experienced the brain zap, which I call a lightning storm in my head. I literally "saw" the crevices in my brain light up like lightning. I woke up hysterical crying and had a hard time going back to sleep. Funny enough, for the next three days I felt an incredible ease up in the symptoms.

I, too, despise when someone in my family tells me to "get over it" or "take a walk, you'll feel better." Shit! I couldn't even get out of bed at one time; how was I ever going to take a walk? Walking to the bathroom and back was a one hour process that involved every bit of strength I had.

I live with depression now and have good days and bad moments. My partner has been incredibly patient -- sometimes she will slip and say something disparaging, but it's only her frustration and she's entitled to it. it can't be easy for her. Things have improved dramatically with medication and therapy. I have terrible short term memory, frequent vertigo and some sleepless nights. But I can get up, take a shower, go out for a drive, enjoy a movie, do a crossword puzzle and return to my writing. I thank the Universe for medications.

I am also on SSD. I encourage all to apply. I also got a whopping settlement as I proved I have been disabled since 2001. I had to go to a lawyer to get it, but it was well worth it. If you have any questions, let me know!

[Jedi]

Please Please Please don't think i am trying to attack anyone or anything, but i really have a problem with this question, because ok lilpache quite litterally used shock treatment.

The question implies control over mental health and i genuinely beleive if there was any, those of us who needs meds, wouldn't need meds.
Also the question makes me think of all those people who have no understanding of mental health issues, say snap out of it, and even tell us we chose/choose to be unwell when we are.
i hope i made sense without souning nasty

Your opinion can never be nasty here. This place is for us to have a voice. I find that there are times that I can control my symptoms and de-escalate myself and there are times I can not. That was all I meant by "shocking" yourself. I certainly don't mean to offend anyone.

[Andrew, Jr.]

Words tangle me up all the time. I even struggled with getting back online here. I had to have Jack, Medusa, and Linus help me. With that said, I say no worries. If we have to worry about what cards we are dealt with in life, and the medicines, doctors, treatment plans, and so on, the least we can do is help each other, and bend over to pick each other up when someone falls down. There isn't anything anyone has done or said that is not forgiveable. I forgive everyone every thing. At least I try too. Some things that are said or done to me, I just don't understand at all in all honesty. Including my bio-parents. I just pity them. They have missed out on what life is truely about. The simplicity of watching a child grow into a bride or groom. Or a garden being grown and eating the wonderful veggies in a salad. That to me is life.

Andrew

[lilapache]

*big heavy sigh of relief* i am soooo glad no one takes offense to things said here... because sometimes... *shrugs* i'm not the best at communicating what i really want to say... or... it makes sense in my head the way i say it... but not others... i'm getting a little more comfortable here... because yes... i have been known to walk away from sites... and people... that either took offense or.. hell i don't know... and i really want to come back to the online life to a degree... just don't want to be judged ... or labeled having a mental illness so stay away... she's nuts... *sighs* just because i don't think like other people... doesn't mean i don't have feelings and understand.... my mind just plays tricks with it for awhile... eventually i straighten out... ok... i'm done spewing now... my apologies

[Sachita]

I can't stand it when people belittle me for taking meds for my depression and anxiety. I just think about those folks, and what makes them tick. And if they really understand my situation or are just ignoring my past or if they are only children who always got whatever it was they wanted, needed, or desired.

Andrew


no one is immune of mental illness regardless of their childhood. Do what you need to do for yourself because ultimately its your journey and the people that advocate a holistic approach because they are FED UP over the pharmaceutical and FUCK UP medical field, well have their journey too. I'm the ladder.

I was talking to a friend today for a long time who suffers from a serious mental illness. I was explaining about a period I went through where i was deeply depressed and even suicidal. It scared me how I could slip into that space and although no one that knew me would believe it, I damn sure did. Anyhow, I came out of it after a few years naturally and with a lot of work. But the point is that when I described my current emotions, needing more time for myself, free my spirit, etc. Hy said to me, "So what are you going to do about it?"

These are power words. I climbed on my lawn tractor, mowing and deep thinking about those words and the effect they had on me. My personal conclusion is that want something different then I've got to do something different. Even with all the information I have on health, nutrition and holistic healing I still struggle. Why? well I am my own worse enemy and my healing is a daily process of action, meditation and learning not to beat myself up. What I do know is this... when I work really hard at what I eat, drink, sleep, etc. every fiber of my being starts to feel better. This is a fact.

You have probably read all this shit before but I did some research:

http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2009/12/091216130718.htm

and what I believe

http://www.foodforthebrain.org/content.asp?id_Content=1638

I knew a guy that was serious bipolar and depression. He was on meds and yet he consumed vast amounts of sugar and had the worse diet. No omegas and also did things that promoted more mental illness. It was just crazy. It's like one of those little wind up toys against a brick wall. It moves because that's the program but its going no where.

It's like seeing someone that has type 2 diabetes taking insulin but still drinks a six pack of soda a day, eats chips and way too many carbs. Someone can give them the information and even show them examples of what happens to people- dying early, aging, amputation, blindness, etc. but for some reason it just doesn't click or stay constant. We all suffer from this but "What are we going to do about it?"

My mom lives next to this woman that is younger then I am and in a wheelchair suffering from bipolar, diabetes and auto-immune disease. She takes so many fucking pills and every week she's at the doctor getting checked and more pills. She eats a quart of ice cream a day. I have never had a conversation with her where she didn't use her illnesses as a the highlight of the conversation. So what is she going to do about? Probably nothing.

I am convinced that had it not been for my stubborn spirit I would have sunk into hell. In 52 years I never cried more then I did those 2 years. It's was one step at a time and sometimes I slipped backwards but I just had to keep taking them a little at a time. Drugs is not an option for me. Doctors are not an option for me. My way works for me and its working well.

The advice I gave my sweet little friend was not to stop taking meds, even though they make hy feel bad and the side effects are awful, will shorten his life, BUT to start making small changes. Take some fish oil caps, cut back on sugar, get outside, play a bit, laugh and look for reasons to want you life to be better.

You're an amazing humane being. Get to the core of that and do what I plan on doing every single day from this day forward- ask yourself when you dont feel good, when you ache, hurt, sad, mad, challenged "What are you going to do about it?" Then really think about it.

Love

[WheelieStrong]

Your opinion can never be nasty here. This place is for us to have a voice. I find that there are times that I can control my symptoms and de-escalate myself and there are times I can not. That was all I meant by "shocking" yourself. I certainly don't mean to offend anyone.

Thank you, i hope i didn't upset you.

i guess i understand what you mean, there are times i know i'm heading for problems and then there are times i just am having problems, sadly i haven't figured out any ways to change my moods.

[Darth Denkay]

Hi Andrew.

Interesting topic, electric shock therapy. Sounds so horrific but when done right in the right cases it can be really effective.

You mention Vagus Nerve Stimulator - I too am following that closely. Meds seem to be working at the moment, and it seems to be used primarily when nothing else has worked at this point, but I wonder if it would work as well or better than meds and would mean I wouldn't have to go through the periodic med changes. Also wonder if it would avoid the side effects of depression meds - particularly reduced libido. Really amazing things happening for sure!


I was thinking of the HBO series "Six Feet Under" when Nate's girlfriend's brother (I cannot remember his name) was put in a psych. hospital and adm. electric shock treatments. Mind you this is HBO or Hollywood.

In reality electric shock is still used today to help those who cannot be helped with western medicines. I never have received electric shock before. I know that there is a lot of research being done on magnitics and the Vegas Nerve Stimulator.

[Andrew, Jr.]

Did anyone watch the episode on TV about this? I think it was a Dateline special. A man was an utter wreck after his only son died (he was a soldier in Iraq I think). Well, he never could get over the grief. He ended up separated from his wife and lost his job, and everything in his life went out of control. He volunteered to be a test subject for the vagus nerve implant. Within hours of this device being turned on, he claims to have snapped out of his depression/grieving. He gave up all his meds & everything.


Sachita,

I am not bi-polar. I suffer from neurological based disorders that cause my depression and anxiety. My left temporal lobe is damaged. There is nothing that can be done to fix it. Once you have tbi (traumatic brain injury) you have it for life. What do I do about this? I seek out medical treatment of all kinds for relief. I have seizures, learning disabilities, and so on. I use my time to fill up with relationships that I value. It can be from volunteering, or playing badmitton with the kids in the neighborhood, or teaching the little guy next door how to throw a spiral football pass.

What makes me sad? Reading and re-reading about everyone here. Sometimes I wonder what it would have been like to never have been dropped on my head at a day old. What would it be like to be labeled normal instead of as a wacko or nut case or constantly having people ask me if I am bi-polar. After a while I get tired of it. It isn't the sarcasm or the critisism others toss my way. I am used to it. They just don't get it. And that is ok.

I am sad because I have to rely on others for help. I am not able to live alone. I am just me. I have my limitations and it isn't fun or a happy place to be. That is the selfish side of me.

Those words you said...what are you going to do about it? are powerful words. Everyone should think that way.

Namaste,
Andrew

[Jedi]

I had a medication change...they gave me something to help me sleep so I don't find the need to drink so much. They think I need to give my liver a break. They ordered labs....to check my liver and thyroid and blood sugar. To be perfectly honest, I'm on a downward spiral. I'm trying to snap out of it and it doesn't seem to be happening. I find talking about it, which I have been doing, kinda helps. And I'm hopeful this won't last forever. It has to get better.

[lilapache]

I had a medication change...they gave me something to help me sleep so I don't find the need to drink so much. They think I need to give my liver a break. They ordered labs....to check my liver and thyroid and blood sugar. To be perfectly honest, I'm on a downward spiral. I'm trying to snap out of it and it doesn't seem to be happening. I find talking about it, which I have been doing, kinda helps. And I'm hopeful this won't last forever. It has to get better.

Jedi i know totally where Your at... to bad my phones gone right now til the move or i would say give me a call if you still have the number... i hate med changes... fixin to have to go through it again myself soon... what did they give you for sleep... they put me on elavil... slows my head down enough to sleep and works as an antidepressant during the day... sometimes they work... sometimes they don't... didn't realize you were drinking so hard... but look at me... can't say nothing... my herbal self medication isn't so good either... you know if you need me... i'm only a click away... and when i get settled up there i'll shoot you the number... i don't use aohell much anymore... but here if you need me...

[chefhottie25]

Jedi you have to find your back from your downward spiral. I know how you feel. I use to medicate my symptoms with drugs...only when I gave them up did I find the strength and courage to heal. I went through a lot of med changes...and I did them without drugs or alcohol. It wasn't easy...but I knew it would get better. My dear friend please believe that it will get better. I will be thinking about you and sending you much love.

I had a medication change...they gave me something to help me sleep so I don't find the need to drink so much. They think I need to give my liver a break. They ordered labs....to check my liver and thyroid and blood sugar. To be perfectly honest, I'm on a downward spiral. I'm trying to snap out of it and it doesn't seem to be happening. I find talking about it, which I have been doing, kinda helps. And I'm hopeful this won't last forever. It has to get better.

[chefhottie25]

I just wanted to drop in and see how everyone is doing. I have had a few really good days this week. I hope everyone has a great weekend...especially you Jedi. Hang in there buddy.

[lilapache]

well today was my official last day at work... i know i'm making the right choice and they are all supporting me in it... wishing i wasn't resigning and just taking a medical leave... its strange when you find out... how people you work with really feel about you...

my head is just spinning... so much to do between now and thursday night when my big Bro and sis get here to help me move... and sometimes its just so hard to stay on task... i get side tracked so easily... how the hell am i suppose to get anything done that way... or i get interupted and then... yeah there i go again... and forget... my memory sucks here lately... sad thing... i couldn't even remember if i had eaten lunch yesterday... i had to check my car... i remembered goin to taco bell... but i don't remember eating... *sighs*...

sometimes i'm so afraid i'm goin to break before i can get up there... and be in an environment that... if that happens i know i'm safe and will be taken care of... but like i was tellin a friend... i'm allowing myself 2 weeks of nothing but break... i need to get my bearings and figure out what i'm doin... and if i take longer than that... i know i will lose it... and i can't... i just can't...

i have to get on meds that actually WORK... this is insane... sometimes i would rather have nothing... but that's what got me here in the first place was being off of them for so long... *sighs*... geez why can't i be... ok i won't say normal.... but with a better degree of normality at least...

ok i'm through venting some of the thoughts in my head now... *laughs*

[chefhottie25]

just stopping by to see how everyone is doing. i am having a good week. had a great session with my therapist today. she asked me if i would be interested in being the client liason to the board of directors. i am honored that she asked me to do it.

[Andrew, Jr.]

Just a drive by hello. I hope everyone is doing well.


:cigar2:

[lilapache]

just stopping by to say my move is complete i'm now relocated to Indiana!!!! now to start the rest of my journey.... hope all is well... as can be...

[Jedi]

My meds are messed up. I'm not feeling right. I'm having troubles in almost every aspect of my life. As I struggle, I keep thinking it has to get better. I finally got my meds straightened out today. It will take the rest of the week for levels to get up to where they belong. It was a rough couple of weeks. And clinics aren't the best places to go. With my regular dose back and in effect, I will stop hearing voices which will be wonderful. I have been plagued by them ever since I went down to a lower dose. My friends have been detrimental to me through this. They have been there and have listened to me and let me cry and let me do whatever I needed to do.

[Jedi]

Things are getting back to normal. The depression is there somewhat but everything else is doing well......even the anxiety, which is a surpirse.....a pleasant one, but a surprise non the less. I think what I'm really struggling with is feeling worth the effort. I have to remember that my friends wouldn't be there, if I weren't worth the effort. It's just hard to feel and know that deep within....it is for me anyway...

[chefhottie25]

Things are getting back to normal. The depression is there somewhat but everything else is doing well......even the anxiety, which is a surpirse.....a pleasant one, but a surprise non the less. I think what I'm really struggling with is feeling worth the effort. I have to remember that my friends wouldn't be there, if I weren't worth the effort. It's just hard to feel and know that deep within....it is for me anyway...

Jedi I am happy to hear that things are getting back to normal for you. I think about you and your struggle often. I am having somewhat normal days myself. I have felt a little melancholy the last couple of days...but not depressed. My meds are still working after my last change about 6 months ago. I hope you have a good 4th of july weekend my friend.

[Jedi]

Jedi I am happy to hear that things are getting back to normal for you. I think about you and your struggle often. I am having somewhat normal days myself. I have felt a little melancholy the last couple of days...but not depressed. My meds are still working after my last change about 6 months ago. I hope you have a good 4th of july weekend my friend.

Thank you my friend.......I could use all the good thoughts anyone wants to send my way.

[lilapache]

Thank you my friend.......I could use all the good thoughts anyone wants to send my way.

can't we all!!! glad things are going better for you...

[Jaques]

I have been doing a lot of research recently regarding mental illness, causes, treatments etc. because my youngest son has just returned from the far east as hes been suffering more and more over the last 2 or 3 yrs with hearing voices, really bad ocd's and delusions - you can have a perfectly normal conversation with him but then he gets a panic because the voices and resulting ocd's occur, its day and night - resulting in our bathroom bring permenantly flooded as he throws water over himself - and a lot of worry and anxiety on our part. in England they are loathe to give a diagnosis and put labels on anyone with these kinds of symptoms but we all know what they mean and people are usually heavily drugged, so much so they cant enjoy life. My son has been teaching english and music and is a jazz musician, has a lot of interests and things he wants to do, so too many drugs are not the answer for him.

SO............i googled a Dr Hoffer - when alive (died of old age) he promoted orthomolecular health, good diet, vitamins and minerals in high doses, and particularly Niacin, Vitamin B3 which i am buying for my son.
I have hi blood pressure and colestorol which isnt due to smoking nor diet so as i dont like taking pills, ive discovered that Niacin also lowers both of these, so we are both going to give them a go...........

just thought that may be of interest to anyone with a mental health problem. Niacin is supposed to improve dramatically any condition such as bipolar, depression etc.

[Lady_Wu]

My depression and PTSD collided in a very bad dream last night/early this morning. I woke up crying. Hard weeping, not just a few tears. As usual with such dreams, my family of origin was in it. Every time I dream about them, I have a rough time when I awaken. I have to work diligently not to let depression overtake me. I see my therapist today. I think that my topic should be my childhood, as I've been having many dreams lately w/my "beloved" mother in them, she from whom most of my PTSD stems. Anyone else have trouble with THEIR mother growing up or even now? I would be having trouble now, except that she tragically-and I do mean that-died in Katrina. In the daytime I believe that that I have forgiven her and wish her well bu my dreams belie this.
Lady_Wu (w)

[Jedi]

I have been doing a lot of research recently regarding mental illness, causes, treatments etc. because my youngest son has just returned from the far east as hes been suffering more and more over the last 2 or 3 yrs with hearing voices, really bad ocd's and delusions - you can have a perfectly normal conversation with him but then he gets a panic because the voices and resulting ocd's occur, its day and night - resulting in our bathroom bring permenantly flooded as he throws water over himself - and a lot of worry and anxiety on our part. in England they are loathe to give a diagnosis and put labels on anyone with these kinds of symptoms but we all know what they mean and people are usually heavily drugged, so much so they cant enjoy life. My son has been teaching english and music and is a jazz musician, has a lot of interests and things he wants to do, so too many drugs are not the answer for him.

SO............i googled a Dr Hoffer - when alive (died of old age) he promoted orthomolecular health, good diet, vitamins and minerals in high doses, and particularly Niacin, Vitamin B3 which i am buying for my son.
I have hi blood pressure and colestorol which isnt due to smoking nor diet so as i dont like taking pills, ive discovered that Niacin also lowers both of these, so we are both going to give them a go...........

just thought that may be of interest to anyone with a mental health problem. Niacin is supposed to improve dramatically any condition such as bipolar, depression etc.

I can tell you that hearing voices is a very disturbing thing...it is for me anyway. I'm on a cocktail of meds and they don't make me feel drugged or make me tired. I take a drug called Invega for the hallucinations. It works really well for me and doesn't drug me out.

As far as suppliments go, I have an ex who tried to go all natural. It was a total disaster....and was very hard on me. That doesn't mean it won't work for you....but she tried this program called True Hope and it was just horrid. I have heard that fish oil is good too. And Amino acids.....you might want to give those a try.

[Jedi]

My depression and PTSD collided in a very bad dream last night/early this morning. I woke up crying. Hard weeping, not just a few tears. As usual with such dreams, my family of origin was in it. Every time I dream about them, I have a rough time when I awaken. I have to work diligently not to let depression overtake me. I see my therapist today. I think that my topic should be my childhood, as I've been having many dreams lately w/my "beloved" mother in them, she from whom most of my PTSD stems. Anyone else have trouble with THEIR mother growing up or even now? I would be having trouble now, except that she tragically-and I do mean that-died in Katrina. In the daytime I believe that that I have forgiven her and wish her well bu my dreams belie this.
Lady_Wu (w)


Lady Wu~
I used to have terrible dreams like that. It's been years since I have had any like that. Do you find it helps to talk about them? That's what made my dreams stop being unpleasant. My mother died while I was growing up and that was a hard thing for me. I know a part of my illness is due to that. I certainly hope you can work through this stuff and have good dreams again. I know what it's like to be afriad to go to sleep cuz the dreams are that unpleasant.

Take care,

Jedi

[lipstixgal]

I have trouble with bipolar disorder and getting out of the house. It seems like I like staying inside in the comfort of my home but I get bored sometimes too. I guess that I just need to get out more even if it means getting out of my comfort zone!!

[Jedi]

I have trouble with bipolar disorder and getting out of the house. It seems like I like staying inside in the comfort of my home but I get bored sometimes too. I guess that I just need to get out more even if it means getting out of my comfort zone!!

Sometimes you have to step out of your comfort zone a little. I know it's hard...believe me.

[Jaques]

I can tell you that hearing voices is a very disturbing thing...it is for me anyway. I'm on a cocktail of meds and they don't make me feel drugged or make me tired. I take a drug called Invega for the hallucinations. It works really well for me and doesn't drug me out.

I feel for anyone who has this condition, as ive seen how it affects my son - he says his isnt hearing voices as such but intrusive thoughts - i dont know if its the same thing..............

As far as suppliments go, I have an ex who tried to go all natural. It was a total disaster....and was very hard on me. That doesn't mean it won't work for you....but she tried this program called True Hope and it was just horrid. I have heard that fish oil is good too. And Amino acids.....you might want to give those a try.

The Dr Hoffer method so it says has a 90 percent success rate - i do know from the research ive done that anxiety problems which often lead to other more serious mental conditions are usually caused through one or more traumatic experience and/or bad nutrition which can affect the part of the brain called the Amigdala, which affects mood and the level of stress a person experiences - which can get fixed higher and higher when under constant pressure of some kind. So as its been proved the brain is malleable - then i would think that level can also be lowered..............that is my hope for my son and for anyone with these awful mental conditions which i know also affect physical health. My son is over 6 feet tall and ll2 llbs! yet he eats 3 big meals a day and snacks also. I am giving him vitamins and minerals - hes never been heavy but i think its the nervous energy hes using which is keeping him so thin.

[lilapache]

well i did get an appointment with the counceling and med center around here... unfortunately it takes a month so the appointment isn't til July 23rd... but man oh man am i having some issues...

for one... why do so many people think the meds and therapy are the end all cure all.... sometimes you are who you are to the core... and don't they realize that some of us think..... well lets face it.. we sure as hell don't think like most people... and yes meds may help alter that some... and even therapy may have some options... but if its truly a part of who you are... and if you have accepted that... they can't deal with you... because hell... i know i struggle with in myself... i know i'm a bitch to deal with even ON meds.... but in my heart... to my core... i am a devoted.. caring... loving... and understanding woman... but there's alot of shit to go through to get to that point... and most can't deal with that.... because even medicated... you have your good days... and your bad... and sometimes those can turn into weeks....

*sighs*... i'm so frustrated and wondering.... why the hell am i doing this... why am i going through all this struggle muck and shit... to still be alone???? to still not have someone tolerate me... and help me through some of these... episodes... god i'm like so messed up... and i know i'm doin this for me also... because i know i needed some changes myself.... but when is enough enough...

thanks for letting me.... let go of some of this crap in my head... peace...

[lipstixgal]

well i did get an appointment with the counceling and med center around here... unfortunately it takes a month so the appointment isn't til July 23rd... but man oh man am i having some issues...

for one... why do so many people think the meds and therapy are the end all cure all.... sometimes you are who you are to the core... and don't they realize that some of us think..... well lets face it.. we sure as hell don't think like most people... and yes meds may help alter that some... and even therapy may have some options... but if its truly a part of who you are... and if you have accepted that... they can't deal with you... because hell... i know i struggle with in myself... i know i'm a bitch to deal with even ON meds.... but in my heart... to my core... i am a devoted.. caring... loving... and understanding woman... but there's alot of shit to go through to get to that point... and most can't deal with that.... because even medicated... you have your good days... and your bad... and sometimes those can turn into weeks....

*sighs*... i'm so frustrated and wondering.... why the hell am i doing this... why am i going through all this struggle muck and shit... to still be alone???? to still not have someone tolerate me... and help me through some of these... episodes... god i'm like so messed up... and i know i'm doin this for me also... because i know i needed some changes myself.... but when is enough enough...

thanks for letting me.... let go of some of this crap in my head... peace...

Lilapache I have bipolar disorder and have to function in everyday life and its hard. I get tired easily and frustrated too that the meds aren't doing their job but I know that I have to take em in order to survive. I haven't stepped out of my house all day today, just not a good day I suppose, very tired and trying to do an internship in medical assitant that I don't like. The office that is!! All they have me doing is paperwork which is stressful to say the least and getting my symptoms up. You have to do what is necessary for you and not worry about anybody else!! Go to the appointment and see what they have to say about your condition. best of luck to you.

[chefhottie25]

Just here to check in. Hope everyone is good. Things are going well for me. I am feeling stable and happy. I am doing really well at work...in fact, I just got promoted. The only thing that sucks is that I was just denied medicaid...after waiting for almost a year on a response. I am reapplying and I am hoping for a better outcome this time.

[naturlover_52]

sorry to hear that Chef

but good thing that you are reapplying.

take care and DON"T give up

[Leigh]

I got approved again for My disability, and its good until 2012 so now I can go to school this fall and be okay :)

[chefhottie25]

I got approved again for My disability, and its good until 2012 so now I can go to school this fall and be okay :)

good for you brother. congrats on going back to school.

[sweetfemme247]

Im new to this thread but I have a depression problem though its not bad, I still struggle with not wanting to get out of bed and such but I am doing pretty good.

[Leigh]

good for you brother. congrats on going back to school.


Thanks bud, everything seems to be falling into place so I'm glad for that :D

[DapperButch]

Just here to check in. Hope everyone is good. Things are going well for me. I am feeling stable and happy. I am doing really well at work...in fact, I just got promoted. The only thing that sucks is that I was just denied medicaid...after waiting for almost a year on a response. I am reapplying and I am hoping for a better outcome this time.

Hi, chef.

I work with some people who have Medicaid (in mental health, actually), so I thought I would take a peek as to what your State eligibility is (every State is different)

You may want to check out this site:

http://jfs.ohio.gov/ohp/consumers/whoqualifies.stm


This will tell you if you qualify for Medicaid or not. If you google, you will find some sites with info., as well. It looks pretty standard, mainly looking at your income, but one thing I noticed about Ohio is that you also have to qualify as "disabled", as well. It appears as though you automatically qualify as disabled if you get SSI, but I can't find any information on how one can prove their "disability status" if they do not get SSI (or SSDI, for that matter). As a side note, this is the first time that I have seen a state require one be "disabled" (however that it is that they define disabled), for eligibility for Medicaid...usually it is income/children as a starting point.

Anyway, I don't know your situation, but appears to me that the main things are:

1) income
2) disability status
3) resources - how much cash you have in the bank.

One and three you can quickly figure out from the charts online. If you get SSI (I am not asking you if you do...that is personal), then it shouldn't be a problem. Otherwise, you need to find out if you meet the requirements for disability status (but, I didn't find the requirments anywhere, and I don't know if you define as disabled, anyway).

A couple of other tidbits:

- In the two states I know about if your employer offers insurance, you cannot qualify for medicaid (didn't see that in the Ohio stuff, but may have missed it).

- Also, around here you typically find out within 30 days if you qualify. So, this not finding out for a year thing? I would check into it...just doesn't seem right.

- A lot of States now have programs for people whose income is a bit too high for Medicaid, but they qualify for something similar, and just have to pay a small cost.

(You may already know all of the information above, but in case you didn't, there it is! I was thinking that checking into it yourself would keep you from the waiting game!)

Good luck and congrats on your promotion!

[chefhottie25]

Hi, chef.

I work with some people who have Medicaid (in mental health, actually), so I thought I would take a peek as to what your State eligibility is (every State is different)

You may want to check out this site:

http://jfs.ohio.gov/ohp/consumers/whoqualifies.stm


This will tell you if you qualify for Medicaid or not. If you google, you will find some sites with info., as well. It looks pretty standard, mainly looking at your income, but one thing I noticed about Ohio is that you also have to qualify as "disabled", as well. It appears as though you automatically qualify as disabled if you get SSI, but I can't find any information on how one can prove their "disability status" if they do not get SSI (or SSDI, for that matter). As a side note, this is the first time that I have seen a state require one be "disabled" (however that it is that they define disabled), for eligibility for Medicaid...usually it is income/children as a starting point.

Anyway, I don't know your situation, but appears to me that the main things are:

1) income
2) disability status
3) resources - how much cash you have in the bank.

One and three you can quickly figure out from the charts online. If you get SSI (I am not asking you if you do...that is personal), then it shouldn't be a problem. Otherwise, you need to find out if you meet the requirements for disability status (but, I didn't find the requirments anywhere, and I don't know if you define as disabled, anyway).

A couple of other tidbits:

- In the two states I know about if your employer offers insurance, you cannot qualify for medicaid (didn't see that in the Ohio stuff, but may have missed it).

- Also, around here you typically find out within 30 days if you qualify. So, this not finding out for a year thing? I would check into it...just doesn't seem right.

- A lot of States now have programs for people whose income is a bit too high for Medicaid, but they qualify for something similar, and just have to pay a small cost.

(You may already know all of the information above, but in case you didn't, there it is! I was thinking that checking into it yourself would keep you from the waiting game!)

Good luck and congrats on your promotion!


Thanks for the information Dapper. I was actually denied SSDI because I am able to work. I have reapplied for state disability and medicaid. However, with my promotion I might not meet the income requirements. It is tough to get medicaid in Ohio. I will just have to wait and see what happens.

[Jedi]

Im new to this thread but I have a depression problem though its not bad, I still struggle with not wanting to get out of bed and such but I am doing pretty good.

Welcome....and feel free to post anything you need support on or anything hat comes to mind. We're a very supportive bunch here. Please come back and stick around.

[Jedi]

Hi, chef.

I work with some people who have Medicaid (in mental health, actually), so I thought I would take a peek as to what your State eligibility is (every State is different)

You may want to check out this site:

http://jfs.ohio.gov/ohp/consumers/whoqualifies.stm


This will tell you if you qualify for Medicaid or not. If you google, you will find some sites with info., as well. It looks pretty standard, mainly looking at your income, but one thing I noticed about Ohio is that you also have to qualify as "disabled", as well. It appears as though you automatically qualify as disabled if you get SSI, but I can't find any information on how one can prove their "disability status" if they do not get SSI (or SSDI, for that matter). As a side note, this is the first time that I have seen a state require one be "disabled" (however that it is that they define disabled), for eligibility for Medicaid...usually it is income/children as a starting point.

Anyway, I don't know your situation, but appears to me that the main things are:

1) income
2) disability status
3) resources - how much cash you have in the bank.

One and three you can quickly figure out from the charts online. If you get SSI (I am not asking you if you do...that is personal), then it shouldn't be a problem. Otherwise, you need to find out if you meet the requirements for disability status (but, I didn't find the requirments anywhere, and I don't know if you define as disabled, anyway).

A couple of other tidbits:

- In the two states I know about if your employer offers insurance, you cannot qualify for medicaid (didn't see that in the Ohio stuff, but may have missed it).

- Also, around here you typically find out within 30 days if you qualify. So, this not finding out for a year thing? I would check into it...just doesn't seem right.

- A lot of States now have programs for people whose income is a bit too high for Medicaid, but they qualify for something similar, and just have to pay a small cost.

(You may already know all of the information above, but in case you didn't, there it is! I was thinking that checking into it yourself would keep you from the waiting game!)

Good luck and congrats on your promotion!

Dapper.....thanks for the help. It is much appreciated.

[DapperButch]

Thanks for the information Dapper. I was actually denied SSDI because I am able to work. I have reapplied for state disability and medicaid. However, with my promotion I might not meet the income requirements. It is tough to get medicaid in Ohio. I will just have to wait and see what happens.

Figure out what you will make a year with your promotion and check out their chart/call. You will quickly know if you qualify or not. If you are over the income limit, make sure that their isn't a program where you can still get insurance through the State that works the same as Medicaid, but you have to pay a small premium for it. I have noticed that workers are not always forthcoming about this type of program (no idea why?), so it is good to ask if your State has one. I have had more than one client who didn't know about it and then qualified after I suggested they check into it.

Also, it is possible that even if you meet the income requirements that you will still be denied if insurance through your employer is available.

Good luck. If I can be helpful in any way to you as you wander through this hairy process, let me know. I find that a lot of people are not always given all of the information they need from social services in order to get the entitlements that they qualify for.

[lipstixgal]

I have a question does anybody struggle with weight issues?? I take geodon and a sleeping pill and can't lose any weight and I'm on 1200 calories a day, joined a gym so trying to work out and exercise, Any suggestions??

[WheelieStrong]

i've not been around much because i have been quite a depressive period so kept my distance from quite a lot of folk.

i hope you are all well my friends

[chefhottie25]

I have a question does anybody struggle with weight issues?? I take geodon and a sleeping pill and can't lose any weight and I'm on 1200 calories a day, joined a gym so trying to work out and exercise, Any suggestions??

i also take geodon..and it works wonderfully. however i have had a significant weight gain. like 60 to 70 pounds. i am trying to not let it get me down, i really enjoy being stable so the weight is a small price to pay.

[lilapache]

checking in... started new meds... abilify.... hoping it helps... more meds to be added i guess... moving again... really bad situation developed when i moved here to indiana but i'm glad that i found out after 11 years... so now i'm moving in with other friends and they have found me a place about 3 doors down from them so... *sighs*... i guess its good in a way... bad in others... but i'm staying positive and working my ass off... got a job and been working as much overtime as possible... hey at least i know how to use my manics... hope all is well with ya'll...

will check back in soon...

[Jedi]

checking in... started new meds... abilify.... hoping it helps... more meds to be added i guess... moving again... really bad situation developed when i moved here to indiana but i'm glad that i found out after 11 years... so now i'm moving in with other friends and they have found me a place about 3 doors down from them so... *sighs*... i guess its good in a way... bad in others... but i'm staying positive and working my ass off... got a job and been working as much overtime as possible... hey at least i know how to use my manics... hope all is well with ya'll...

will check back in soon...

Good to see you Apache

[sylvie]

not sure if i fit into this thread but i feel like maybe i do..

this morning, i've decided i finally need to live by the saying in my signature..although i always want to, don't feel i ever do.

i suffer from very low self esteem, firstly.. it's always been a big battle of mine. over the years, i got myself into a rut, and found it hard to climb out.. although, i know i've taken a few steps out, i know i've still a long way to go.

i have an eating disorder, as well.. which is a constant battle of mine, though i feel ive taken some positive steps over the years ...(binge & purge), so i need to work on a healthier me, continue to lose some weight and feel good about myself, and not go back to that inner me that wants to abuse my system and hurt me so no one can see.

i think my main concern, is my having pushed people away through the years when i was in my rut (thats what i call it).. ive come out of my shell some, but i need to more.. i really miss a lot of my friends, i was just in such a bad place at the time.. i have reached out to some family i had pushed away. which felt amazing.. small steps, i guess..

these are all things i feel i need to work on.. i dont feel sad, im generally a happy person but, i do have a lot of sadness deep on the inside that i think kind of takes over at times.. ive never really dealt with issues in my past, i've been very much a suffer it on the insides kind of girl. and some things from my childhood and teen years are extremely painful, therefore i just don't talk about them.

anyway, in saying all this.. i very much seek peace within myself.. forgiveness for myself, and some forgiveness with others.. i want to build my esteem back up, i want to get myself to this positive, happy place and i know there's steps i need to move forward and get myself there..

so, starting now, i work on this.. ♥

[lipstixgal]

i also take geodon..and it works wonderfully. however i have had a significant weight gain. like 60 to 70 pounds. i am trying to not let it get me down, i really enjoy being stable so the weight is a small price to pay.

My bipolar disorder is not that bad and I need to lose weight I'll stop taking it!! I crave everything especially at night lol just did a Jenny Craig dance tape and I was out of breath and even joined a gym!! I'll try tonight to just take my lunesta and clonzapam no geodon for a while. Although the doctor says that it shouldn't be the geodon that causes weight gain, that particular drug is not suppose to cause weight gain!! I don't know. I'm getting depressed about the weight gain..goint to google that drug and see what comes up!!

[JinxdGirl]

Just a quick note and I'll come back another time.

Diagnosis [plural]:
PTSD
Borderline Personality
Bi-Polar Rapid Cycling NOS
Atypical Depression
Anxiety NOS
PMDD

Meds:
Lamictal 200 mg - daily
Effexor XR: 250 mg - daily
Xanax: 1 mg - prn

Therapy:
Weekly w/ Ol' Glass Ass

I am a hot mess it seems. Oh well. More to come, I'm certain.

[JinxdGirl]

This seems like a good place to share a frustration of mine. Have you ever been in a conversation talking about someone who appears to be having a bad day, and someone says, "guess they didn't take their prozac today"? I find that horribly offensive, making light of those of us who do take meds and need these meds, not just to try to be in a good mood but to survive. Even worse, if you're having a bad day and someone asks you if you remembered to take your meds (especially folks who know you take meds). I've expressed my frustration when folks make these comments, but on only one instance have I had someone take me seriously. I try to just let it go, but in my mind it's one more way that mental illness is reduced to the "it's all in your head - get over it" mentality. Anyone else experience this???

I've actually just had this conversation with my roommate. I cope with mental illness, but that doesn't negate my right to a bad day. She helps keep me accountable with my meds, if left to my own devices I'll conveniently forget them for days on end; so the asking if I've taken them is appreciated but don't assume just because I've got a case of the grumps that I haven't medicated myself.

So, she made a board for each person in the house:

Today Is:
A Good Day
A Bad Day
A Meh Day
A Sad Day
An Okay Day
A Forgot to take Meds Day

with a box to check beside each one and a corresponding face to illustrate.

Seems silly, but it works for us and it's a way to check in without asking the dreaded "Did you take your meds today?"

[chefhottie25]

just checking in. hope evreryone is doing well. i have had a busy week at work but with minimal stress. still taking my meds regularly and seeing my therapist.

[naturlover_52]

feI am feeling very stressed right now...and I don't know what to do...I am trying to get my dad, who has Alzheimers off on a trip and he is a bit stressed and his forgeting is up a bit...and I am worried about him and sooo my Anxiety disorder is a bit UP
and sooo I am just having a really rough time right now...and if I take my trazadone...even like a 1/2 all I wanna do is sleep...which sux...because then I can't help finishing getting him packed.
I just wanna scream.....because I hate feeling like this

[Jedi]

feI am feeling very stressed right now...and I don't know what to do...I am trying to get my dad, who has Alzheimers off on a trip and he is a bit stressed and his forgeting is up a bit...and I am worried about him and sooo my Anxiety disorder is a bit UP
and sooo I am just having a really rough time right now...and if I take my trazadone...even like a 1/2 all I wanna do is sleep...which sux...because then I can't help finishing getting him packed.
I just wanna scream.....because I hate feeling like this



Hang in there! It will get better.

[Jedi]

not sure if i fit into this thread but i feel like maybe i do..

this morning, i've decided i finally need to live by the saying in my signature..although i always want to, don't feel i ever do.

i suffer from very low self esteem, firstly.. it's always been a big battle of mine. over the years, i got myself into a rut, and found it hard to climb out.. although, i know i've taken a few steps out, i know i've still a long way to go.

i have an eating disorder, as well.. which is a constant battle of mine, though i feel ive taken some positive steps over the years ...(binge & purge), so i need to work on a healthier me, continue to lose some weight and feel good about myself, and not go back to that inner me that wants to abuse my system and hurt me so no one can see.

i think my main concern, is my having pushed people away through the years when i was in my rut (thats what i call it).. ive come out of my shell some, but i need to more.. i really miss a lot of my friends, i was just in such a bad place at the time.. i have reached out to some family i had pushed away. which felt amazing.. small steps, i guess..

these are all things i feel i need to work on.. i dont feel sad, im generally a happy person but, i do have a lot of sadness deep on the inside that i think kind of takes over at times.. ive never really dealt with issues in my past, i've been very much a suffer it on the insides kind of girl. and some things from my childhood and teen years are extremely painful, therefore i just don't talk about them.

anyway, in saying all this.. i very much seek peace within myself.. forgiveness for myself, and some forgiveness with others.. i want to build my esteem back up, i want to get myself to this positive, happy place and i know there's steps i need to move forward and get myself there..

so, starting now, i work on this.. ♥

I think you fit right in with us. Please come back and share more with us.

[Jedi]

Prozac is one of the drugs I am on. It has been steadily increased lately and I have been noticing that with these increases my strange dreams are becoming more vivid and more apparent. Does anyone else on Prozac experience these crazy dreams? It's not like the dreams are scary or anything like that........just strange and vivid.

[Jedi]

Just a quick note and I'll come back another time.

Diagnosis [plural]:
PTSD
Borderline Personality
Bi-Polar Rapid Cycling NOS
Atypical Depression
Anxiety NOS
PMDD

Meds:
Lamictal 200 mg - daily
Effexor XR: 250 mg - daily
Xanax: 1 mg - prn

Therapy:
Weekly w/ Ol' Glass Ass

I am a hot mess it seems. Oh well. More to come, I'm certain.

Thanks for joining us and please post more soon.

[chefhottie25]

just checking in...hope everyone is well. I have been working a lot, which used to be a stressor and trigger symptoms. I happy to report that i am handling the stress well...no episodes. saw my doctor last week. she changed my sleeping pill to elavil. The ambien would have me waking up and eating in the middle of the night and not remembering it the next morning. the new med seems to be working. i have been sleeping well and not feeling lethargic the next morning. that's all i have to report. all is well here.

[lipstixgal]

I am taking lunesta and was eating in the middle of the night but I knew it, that's weird why do those pills do that?? I take Geodon, and klonopin but the lunesta will be gone by Sunday so it will have to be Ambien!!

[JinxdGirl]

I am ..
a self injurer with 18 months of abstinence.
an abuse survivor.
not weak because of mental illness.

I come from a family riddled with mental illness, it's as much nature as lack of nurture in my case. I am well medicated and managing well, but this hasn't always been the case. I do not work. I am on SSD and SSI and have been for 8 years. I will have to remain on these benefits for the foreseeable future, in some capacity, for the insurance. Affording my medication and therapy would be impossible without the assistance of the government. I rarely tell anyone about my disability status unless they are an integral part of my everyday existence, because people can be horribly judgmental and/or use that information as ammunition when things don't go their way.

I have been in therapy/counseling off and on for 21 years. If you did the math, you will know that I started at the age of ten. I do not count my kindergarten year of spending an hour with the school psychologist every day, nor do I count the family therapy that was court ordered and my family attended only one session.

I have attempted suicide more times than I can count, starting around the age of eleven. I have been hospitalized 3 times, the first at the age of 13 and the last at age 24.

I was diagnosed with PMDD at 31. Diagnosed as Bi-Polar at the age of 21. Diagnosed with PTSD at 20. Diagnosed with atypical depression at 19. Diagnosed as Borderline at 15. Diagnosed with anxiety at 11.

I've been on so many different combinations of medicine I can't even remember them all. I do recall, however, my parents telling me that they would not pay for medicine for me because I just needed to stop seeking attention. After all, anything that could have ever been wrong with me was my own doing and had nothing at all to do with the lifetime of abuse and neglect that I was going through/coping with/barely surviving/survived. Please note the sarcasm in that last sentence.

In summation, I am mentally ill. Being judged and stigmatized because of that fact irritates me. I am mentally ill, however I am not the last 12 psychotic girlfriends you had. I shouldn't have to pay for whatever they may have done to you. Discounting anything about me because of my diagnosis is unfair, I am still capable of loving, feeling, parenting, caring, anger, disappointment and anything else so many seem to negate because I am "crazy". I did not wake up one day, when I was 10, and say "Hey! I think I'll be batshitcrazy for the rest of my life!". I control what I can control. I take my medication. I journal daily. I participate in therapy. I cannot wish this away. I've tried. I will not let it define me.

I am mentally ill. But, I am so much more than a laundry list of diagnosis. I am strong, loving, intelligent, witty, fun, friendly, flirty, femme. I am Jinx!

[lipstixgal]

I have bipolar disorder I don't work not because I don't want to its hard to do and I have chronic fatigue syndrome also. I take Geodon, lunesta and klonopin for anxiety. I don't think that I am crazy I just have a disability that's all. I too can love, parent and do all the other things that "regular" people do whatever that is...

[chefhottie25]

I am ..
a self injurer with 18 months of abstinence.
an abuse survivor.
not weak because of mental illness.

I come from a family riddled with mental illness, it's as much nature as lack of nurture in my case. I am well medicated and managing well, but this hasn't always been the case. I do not work. I am on SSD and SSI and have been for 8 years. I will have to remain on these benefits for the foreseeable future, in some capacity, for the insurance. Affording my medication and therapy would be impossible without the assistance of the government. I rarely tell anyone about my disability status unless they are an integral part of my everyday existence, because people can be horribly judgmental and/or use that information as ammunition when things don't go their way.

I have been in therapy/counseling off and on for 21 years. If you did the math, you will know that I started at the age of ten. I do not count my kindergarten year of spending an hour with the school psychologist every day, nor do I count the family therapy that was court ordered and my family attended only one session.

I have attempted suicide more times than I can count, starting around the age of eleven. I have been hospitalized 3 times, the first at the age of 13 and the last at age 24.

I was diagnosed with PMDD at 31. Diagnosed as Bi-Polar at the age of 21. Diagnosed with PTSD at 20. Diagnosed with atypical depression at 19. Diagnosed as Borderline at 15. Diagnosed with anxiety at 11.

I've been on so many different combinations of medicine I can't even remember them all. I do recall, however, my parents telling me that they would not pay for medicine for me because I just needed to stop seeking attention. After all, anything that could have ever been wrong with me was my own doing and had nothing at all to do with the lifetime of abuse and neglect that I was going through/coping with/barely surviving/survived. Please note the sarcasm in that last sentence.

In summation, I am mentally ill. Being judged and stigmatized because of that fact irritates me. I am mentally ill, however I am not the last 12 psychotic girlfriends you had. I shouldn't have to pay for whatever they may have done to you. Discounting anything about me because of my diagnosis is unfair, I am still capable of loving, feeling, parenting, caring, anger, disappointment and anything else so many seem to negate because I am "crazy". I did not wake up one day, when I was 10, and say "Hey! I think I'll be batshitcrazy for the rest of my life!". I control what I can control. I take my medication. I journal daily. I participate in therapy. I cannot wish this away. I've tried. I will not let it define me.

I am mentally ill. But, I am so much more than a laundry list of diagnosis. I am strong, loving, intelligent, witty, fun, friendly, flirty, femme. I am Jinx!

thank you for addressing the stigma that goes along with mental illness. i have been diagnosed with schizophrenia for a little over 3 years. once i began to understand it and became more comfortable with it, i started to talk about my feelings and what life with it is like. some people in my life started to disappear from my life...potential romantic interests would no longer be interested in dating me. it has been painful and irriatating. the people who stayed in my life have been supportive and compassionate. i have become more appreiative of the relationships in my life. i am in therapy, take meds, and attend support groups. i believe all of those things have made me stronger and knowledgable. i am no longer afraid or embarrassed to talk about mental illness. i hope that doing that changes the way some people think about mental illness. i will continue to embrace my diagnosis and live with it without shame.

[chefhottie25]

i just wanted to share some good news with all of you. today i celebrated 2 years of being clean from heroin and cocaine. thank you all for your support...i couldn't have acheived it without you guys.

[femmebotdyke]

Thank your for this thread. Having just joined the site I don't feel comfortable disclosing too many details about my experiences with mental illness but I think threads like this play an important part in breaking down the stigma experienced by people living with mental illness. I grew up with a parent with severe bipolar disorder, anxiety and adult ADHD. For many years his illnesses, the stigma against mental illness and the mentally ill and the repercussions of some of the bad decisions he made while under psychiatric care created a barrier which prevented me from seeking treatment for my own mental health issues. I went through a lot of pain as a child all by myself so it's something I feel quite strongly about.

I also think it's worth mentioning in this context that the suicide rates for LGBTIQ people in my home country of Australia are up to 8 times higher than for their heterosexual peers. There is also evidence that LGBTI Australians have higher rates of depression, anxiety, self-harm and suicide ideation so I think issues around mental health for our communities are also tied (to some extent) to broader struggles for social justice and attitudinal change.

As for me, I have been diagnosed with depression and social anxiety and mental illness has interrupted my schooling, employment and ability to form relationships in the past. The first medication I was prescribed for depression was Effexor, which also made me agoraphobic. Most of the time I appear to be very high-functioning, calm, competent and under control so people have tended to assume I can manage on my own...but a lot of it's because I already graduated from 101 crisis management and co-parenting as a kid! It's been difficult, but incredibly worthwhile finally getting the help I need.

Anyway, I should also add that I found JinxdGirl's post really affecting. Thanks everyone for having the courage to share your struggles. Oh and naturlover_52, I don't mean to be rude but what does your therapists' race/ethnicity/religion have to do with anything? Again, thanks for sharing.

[naturlover_52]

Oh and naturlover_52, I don't mean to be rude but what does your therapists' race/ethnicity/religion have to do with anything? [/QUOTE]

well hmmm Just commenting on a previous thread...From Jinx.... where shr called Her therapist the old Glass Ass. IT doesn't make ANY difference TO me....religion/race/ethnicity/sexual orientation of a therapist.....JUST the report that U have w/ them and the therapist that said that MY OCD was a reason for my sexuality broke that REPORT,,,,,,MADE me think that I didn't KNOW myself....which kind of goes w/ WHAT U said about LGBTs mental illness being because of OUTSIDE Issues.....well that was a huge thing for me. I wasn't making racial/religious slurs when I made the statement....JUST describing the people.
NOTHING MORE

:2butch::batman:

[naturlover_52]

I was just describing the people NOT insulting nor was a racial/religious slur was meant....that wasn't my intention at ALL sorry to those offended

[femmebotdyke]

Thanks for the clarification, naturlover_52. It's something that I've personally done before- mentioned someone's ethnicity or sex in a context where it's not really relevant. We tend not to specify if someone's white. I didn't think you meant anything by it but I think it's sometimes worthwhile pulling each other up on these things if we notice them- in the same way I think it's useful for someone to correct me if I use the wrong pronoun, for instance. Anyway, thanks again for making that clear.

[Isadora]

i just wanted to share some good news with all of you. today i celebrated 2 years of being clean from heroin and cocaine. thank you all for your support...i couldn't have achieved it without you guys.

We are all brave in some form. We all live with personal fears and failures. All of us have experienced mental illness or addiction in some form or another. All. Of. Us. The "learning to be brave" push to face (out loud) their own fears, the "brave in progress" face them every day and learn to simply accept and live, and the "truly brave" recognized the fear, face it (often more than once or continuously) and reach out to others. You are truly brave, yanno.

Congratulations.

[Jedi]

i just wanted to share some good news with all of you. today i celebrated 2 years of being clean from heroin and cocaine. thank you all for your support...i couldn't have acheived it without you guys.

Congrats chef........what an accomplishment. You should be very proud of yourself.

[lipstixgal]

How is everyone doing today?? Me still sleepy I don't what from. Maybe the ambien but I took that at like 8 PM last night. Just not feeling well at all. I hope its not depression kicking in because I have been home from the shingles and doing nothing. going to try to do another internship will let the school know that I want to work and get out of the house!! Have Jewish holidays that are coming up and want to attend temple for sure...

[naturlover_52]

I totally understand what U mean....I have been busy taking care of myself....because of the fact that I have a duel diagnosis...JUST not one w/ alcohol/drug addiction. But a second disability to my GADs and my Borderline Personality.

good luck w/ getting a NEW Internship...I think that that would be good. KEEP me informed if ya would.

I am trying to get stuff done to get Medicaid and also trying to find work thru Dept of Vocational Rehab.

Take care all

[nicetgurl_30]

I've been in mental health for about 10+ years and as a therapist I would like to say that yes mental illness does carry a stigma with it. But we could talk about stereo types all day. It's getting help that needs to be a focus. Making sure that close friends and family undertstandin what ur going through, that it isn't a choice and sometimes u do need help with certain MAOI OR sertoin receptors sites to reduce risk.
Some ppl need medication like others have to have glass to see better ot take medication to balance hBp.

[naturlover_52]

BUT at the same time we need to INFORM family about what the heck is going on....at the same time some DON"T wanna hear about it. Also some don't have a clue what it is like to need to be medicated. I just know I need meds for both the high BP and also the borderline Personality Disorder. BUT right now I am also dealing w/ Major Anxiety....and the anxiety meds aren't working.
BUT like many have told me....I breath....and take things 1 day at a time...until I can get to see the Psychitrist next week.

[chefhottie25]

BUT at the same time we need to INFORM family about what the heck is going on....at the same time some DON"T wanna hear about it. Also some don't have a clue what it is like to need to be medicated. I just know I need meds for both the high BP and also the borderline Personality Disorder. BUT right now I am also dealing w/ Major Anxiety....and the anxiety meds aren't working.
BUT like many have told me....I breath....and take things 1 day at a time...until I can get to see the Psychitrist next week.

i hope things get easier for you. hang in there...it takes awhile for therapy to work and for the right combination of meds to be determined. it all came together for me about a year ago. i am grateful...but i will never forget what it was like in the beginning. you have good support here...keep using it.

[chefhottie25]

just wanted to check in. hope everyone is doing well. i have been a little down since i broke my foot. i hate having my mobility restricted. i get to go back to work full time on thursday...i am sure that will cheer me up.

[naturlover_52]

back in the land of the living and the real world after a weeks stay in another mental place....but glad I went....and got the help to recover....and working on NOT relapsing AGAIN....and also taking things 1 day at a time...meds were changed again...and gonna see what this new one can do to help....abilify on top of the Effexor XR and the Trazadone.
living in the here and now and working ON moi....and getting healthy and happy.
trying for SSI again...hope 3rd time is the charm.

thanks all
:mohawk::hangloose::fastdraq::bunchflowers:

[deeperstill]

naturlover:
keep trying with SSI. I did some work in this area a long time ago (too long ago to offer any specific help, sorry!), but i can tell you most people are denied at the 1st and 2nd levels...My firm often didn't even accept cases until they were that far along. Good luck and keep trying!

back in the land of the living and the real world after a weeks stay in another mental place....but glad I went....and got the help to recover....and working on NOT relapsing AGAIN....and also taking things 1 day at a time...meds were changed again...and gonna see what this new one can do to help....abilify on top of the Effexor XR and the Trazadone.
living in the here and now and working ON moi....and getting healthy and happy.
trying for SSI again...hope 3rd time is the charm.

thanks all
:mohawk::hangloose::fastdraq::bunchflowers:

[naturlover_52]

IT doesn't seem to be working
and NOw trying to see how I do
Just took 2 Tazadone an see how that does anything.....Doc is gonna call me today......take care and I am trying to Hang in there.....JUST not feeling LIKE me. I am feeling very uncontrolably hyper.

[chefhottie25]

IT doesn't seem to be working
and NOw trying to see how I do
Just took 2 Tazadone an see how that does anything.....Doc is gonna call me today......take care and I am trying to Hang in there.....JUST not feeling LIKE me. I am feeling very uncontrolably hyper.

i am not sure what you are being treated for...but i use to take abilify 20mg twice a day for schizophrenia. it was difficult to be still or just relax when i was on it. i felt like i needed to be constantly moving. i hated it and have since been put on geodon 80mg twice a day. i am much better now. my hands still get shakey sometimes, but that is manageable. i also took trazadone. i didn't have such good results with that. it helped me sleep through the night, but i felt really lethargic for most of the next day. i now take ambien if i need it for sleep. i hope my sharing was helpful. i know you hear it all the time but...hang in there. it takes time to find the right combination of meds...it was about 18 months for me. good luck.

[lipstixgal]

IT doesn't seem to be working
and NOw trying to see how I do
Just took 2 Tazadone an see how that does anything.....Doc is gonna call me today......take care and I am trying to Hang in there.....JUST not feeling LIKE me. I am feeling very uncontrolably hyper.

Oh I tried that abilify and it made me twitch and jump and everything. hope you are feeling better soon though!! If you feel manic there is really nothing they can do except medicate, I only take geodon and that's it for my bipolar disorder which is under control I think:blink:

[lipstixgal]

i am not sure what you are being treated for...but i use to take abilify 20mg twice a day for schizophrenia. it was difficult to be still or just relax when i was on it. i felt like i needed to be constantly moving. i hated it and have since been put on geodon 80mg twice a day. i am much better now. my hands still get shakey sometimes, but that is manageable. i also took trazadone. i didn't have such good results with that. it helped me sleep through the night, but i felt really lethargic for most of the next day. i now take ambien if i need it for sleep. i hope my sharing was helpful. i know you hear it all the time but...hang in there. it takes time to find the right combination of meds...it was about 18 months for me. good luck.

I gained weight on geodon and I am on 80 mg too suppose to take it twice a day too much for me. so I only take it once a day and it works fine but I'm bipolar not manic either or depressed just on keel...

[naturlover_52]

I am gonna talk the doc about something like that
thanks you both.

thanks

[Jedi]

IT doesn't seem to be working
and NOw trying to see how I do
Just took 2 Tazadone an see how that does anything.....Doc is gonna call me today......take care and I am trying to Hang in there.....JUST not feeling LIKE me. I am feeling very uncontrolably hyper.

Apilify caused me to have a seizure.....and I really remember nothing else from being on it.

[naturlover_52]

I was supposed to have an appointment I thought yesterday w/ the doc....BUT I guess he felt that we had covered everything via the phone....well....I didn't
but hey He is the doc. I go next week. BUT things Are getting a bit better. went to a meeting last night for recovery for everything....mostly alanon though. went and ordered a book to help me deal w/ some other issues I deal w/. and ordered a CD. BUT today is hmmm....Just getting started and having a bit of trouble.

BUT will survive....as Gloria Ganer said in her survivor song.:hangloose::moonstars:(f)

[lipstixgal]

I was supposed to have an appointment I thought yesterday w/ the doc....BUT I guess he felt that we had covered everything via the phone....well....I didn't
but hey He is the doc. I go next week. BUT things Are getting a bit better. went to a meeting last night for recovery for everything....mostly alanon though. went and ordered a book to help me deal w/ some other issues I deal w/. and ordered a CD. BUT today is hmmm....Just getting started and having a bit of trouble.

BUT will survive....as Gloria Ganer said in her survivor song.:hangloose::moonstars:(f)

I can understand about getting started in the morning I have that trouble I guess its just the mental illness not allowing us to do what needs to be done. I'm tired today and have the internship thurs and fri then off sat and sun. Back at it on Monday and Tues I took one day off so that I can rest on Wed!! Get feeling better..

[chefhottie25]

I gained weight on geodon and I am on 80 mg too suppose to take it twice a day too much for me. so I only take it once a day and it works fine but I'm bipolar not manic either or depressed just on keel...

i had weight gain with geodon too. my friend brent always points out to me that it is a small price to pay to be stable. i have been on abilify, seroquel, invega, and risperdal until i was put on the geodon last summer. it has worked the best for me. i haven't heard voices or had a pyschotic episode in a awhile. i still sometimes have a little paranoia, but i have been able to control that with some positive self talk.

[naturlover_52]

II am in need of something that is NOT high in weight gain and works better than this crap....I would love to be able to USe Gabapentin but it isn't ON the formulary at the clinic I go to IT has helped me IN the past. I need also a better sleep med.

thanks ALL:hangloose::moonstars:(f)

[naturlover_52]

to go along w/ the NOT sleeping well NOW I am grieving ANother loss this will make the 4th of such since Last NOV. NOW it is my Mom's ONLY Brother...He was 76 and Much loved.
He will be missed.


thanks for letting me vent

[chefhottie25]

to go along w/ the NOT sleeping well NOW I am grieving ANother loss this will make the 4th of such since Last NOV. NOW it is my Mom's ONLY Brother...He was 76 and Much loved.
He will be missed.


thanks for letting me vent

i am sorry to hear about your loses. i have had great results with Elavil(amitriptyline) for sleep. it is actually a tricyclic antidepressant used for treating depression...but it can also be taken for sleep. i take 50mg at bedtime. after about a month of use it doesn't work as well, so then i take ambien for a month then back to the elavil. i hope my information helps you. stay strong.

[naturlover_52]

the trazadone works IT is the stuff for anxiety Need something else for it
Need a mood stabalizer better than the abilify or something for the jitters
etc....and or the ADD

[naturlover_52]

Well loved t he new psychiatrist but I don't get to keep him I am being sent back to the old one.....BUT he did say to get the Neurontin from MY reg doc...Md and see how it works....and it seems to be working....and also off the Abilify.
also on 100mgs a day of Buspar and seems to be helping we shall see.

take care all
hope everyone is doing well.

[Jedi]

I have a new med added to my cocktail.....Lamictal. You have to start out really slow on this one because you can have a rash from it. So far I'm on such a low dose that I don't feel anything. It's supposed to help regulate my sleep. We shall see.

[lipstixgal]

I have a new med added to my cocktail.....Lamictal. You have to start out really slow on this one because you can have a rash from it. So far I'm on such a low dose that I don't feel anything. It's supposed to help regulate my sleep. We shall see.

I wish they would give me that I sleep horribly at night especially with the sleep apnea!! Only on geodon and ambien and klonopin..

[Jedi]

I wish they would give me that I sleep horribly at night especially with the sleep apnea!! Only on geodon and ambien and klonopin..

Lamictal is a mood stabilizer that my nurse practitioner thinks will help regulate my sleeping. I put myself back on a normal sleeping schedule though. And I seem to be regulating myself....but the mood stabilizer can't hurt.

[naturlover_52]

yeah they wanted to put me on that but were not gonna because of the rash. I am on a new med to MY cocktail too. Cymbalta instead of the EffexorXR.
Best of luck to you Jedi. I am not sure how things are w/ me...JUST know I am quite depressed and missing my lovely. I hate the holidays. Especially now it is just me myself and I unless I get to see my kid and her mom.

[chefhottie25]

I haven't been here in awhile...so wanted to stop in. I have a rough couple of weeks. Feeling lonely and it makes me sad. My doctor increased my antidepressant for me... I am slowly starting to feel it. I have been off of work for a few weeks and the boredom gets to me. I am back to work on monday...looking forward to that. Hope everyone is doing well.

[proximitywithoutintimacy]

My first post on this thread... I don't want to bore you all with the details of all my mental illnesses (trust me, it's not as bad as it sounds, haha) but I'm currently on Zoloft for depression/anxiety. I missed a couple of days - not on purpose, but I guess I just didn't care enough to remember. But, alas, I'm back on it today.

My ex... who was also my best friend before we got together, called me last night. I was texting, and I accidentally answered the call, freaked out, and hung it up immediately. She didn't try to call back or text me. Today, she called my best friend... who didn't answer her call.

I don't get it. She was asked politely to leave me alone for awhile, because a couple of weeks ago, she held me and kissed me and told me she loved me... then all of a sudden, is telling me her new girlfriend means everything and she would die without her. So. I told her to back away, and she did at first... at times she'll send a text or two, but now she's calling us - not sure why. However, it causes deep anxiety inside of me and I feel nauseous all over... even with the Zoloft... I just wish things weren't so complicated. She has a girlfriend... what is she doing?

Might I add that she's Bipolar II and an alcoholic... hence, we can't make a relationship work until both of our emotions are stable and she starts seriously working on herself and her addictions.

Sigh. Sorry for rambling... =/

[WheelieStrong]

Sigh. Sorry for rambling... =/

Hi, you didn't ramble i don't think, god you've have fun if you read the letter i have written to people, the interesting thing is because i can't keep a copy of them, once they re sent even i often forget what i wrote when and how.

So no i am the one rambling, it's been a while since you posted so i was hoping i wasn't going to be the only, or first person to reply to you..

Are you feeling any better?
has your situation improved?

[proximitywithoutintimacy]

You are the first person to respond to me, but no worries.

I'm doing a little better now; the nightmares aren't helping, but I'm doing my best to just not think about them.

Thank you :)

[lipstixgal]

The insurance company took away my ambien and I need it to sleep!! so sad :( going to talk to doctor about what else he can prescribe for me or increase the klonopin at night!! does anybody have any suggestions for sleep aids??

[proximitywithoutintimacy]

Take a hot shower just before bed, and then drink some chamomile tea - I promise, it helps.

[Toughy]

The insurance company took away my ambien and I need it to sleep!! so sad :( going to talk to doctor about what else he can prescribe for me or increase the klonopin at night!! does anybody have any suggestions for sleep aids??

I am not giving you advice.....I don't know enough about you individually. I'll tell ya what works for me.

I take an antidepressant called mirtazapine (Remeron) at a 15mg dose. At that dose one of the side effects is being drowsy (at 30mg this side effect is greatly lessened...more is not better). It also helps control my nightmares. It does not alter normal sleep patterns. Ambien, Seroquel and Klonopin interrupt normal REM sleep which is a very bad thing.

Most insurance companies have mirtazapine in their formulary.

[lipstixgal]

I am not giving you advice.....I don't know enough about you individually. I'll tell ya what works for me.

I take an antidepressant called mirtazapine (Remeron) at a 15mg dose. At that dose one of the side effects is being drowsy (at 30mg this side effect is greatly lessened...more is not better). It also helps control my nightmares. It does not alter normal sleep patterns. Ambien, Seroquel and Klonopin interrupt normal REM sleep which is a very bad thing.

Most insurance companies have mirtazapine in their formulary.

Thank you I will ask for that if I cannot get ambien again!!

[Toughy]

Thank you I will ask for that if I cannot get ambien again!!

you should read up on mirtazapine before you go to your doc....

[moxie]

The insurance company took away my ambien and I need it to sleep!! so sad :( going to talk to doctor about what else he can prescribe for me or increase the klonopin at night!! does anybody have any suggestions for sleep aids??


In addition to Toughy's response, you can also try trazodone (generic name, most general practitioners will prescribe) or you can go to any store that sells vitamins and get some melatonin (always check with pharmacist first). It might be difficult if a regular family doctor is prescribing your sleep aid to get them to put you on Remeron; a psychiatrist would be more willing to do so as they are better educated as to how it might interact with other medications as it is a psychotropic medication.

Not giving any recommendations, just some other options.

[LeftWriteFemme]

B2Ta0yFoNG8

[SingularNYCFemme]

I'm very happy to have found this thread. For years I was treated for dysthymia. Only after a second antidepressant pooped out on me (can't believe that's a medical term) was I reevaluated as having bipolar II. At the moment I am taking lithium, Abilify, lamictal and Klonopin. My doctor and I have been working on the lamictal level, but somehow it's not working very well for me. If we go up, I get fuzzy and have a hard time concentrating; if we go back to the previous level, I get cranky and irritable. I'm not happy that the lithium has put weight on me, but I am happy to be stabilized. The doctor before the one I have now just kept throwing all kinds of medications at me, and I went through such a hard time; it was awful. My new doctor is much more careful about what he prescribes and the dosages given. I'm not completely sure about the Abilify, which was prescribed by the previous doctor, except that apparently the withdrawal is really awful.
Anyway! It's really wonderful to have a place to come and share about these things. Thanks for being here.

[SingularNYCFemme]

Strange to post right below my last post but oh well. I am going through more medication changing; I also found out I have a vitamin D deficiency, and will be taking something to restore that and then supplements. My psychiatrist is all for it, as he says it should improve my mood, which definitely needs improving.

I hope everyone is doing okay.

[Ginger]

Strange to post right below my last post but oh well. I am going through more medication changing; I also found out I have a vitamin D deficiency, and will be taking something to restore that and then supplements. My psychiatrist is all for it, as he says it should improve my mood, which definitely needs improving.

I hope everyone is doing okay.


I totally endorse taking vitamin D as a mood enhancer... I know we get vitamin D from sunshine, too, but I don't know how that works.

[Outlaw]

I totally endorse taking vitamin D as a mood enhancer... I know we get vitamin D from sunshine, too, but I don't know how that works.

Your body stores vitamin D and can make it when your skin is exposed to sunlight. Vitamin D is also found in some foods, mostly ones like milk that have been fortified with vitamin D. There are two forms of vitamin D: ergocalciferol (vitamin D2) and cholecalciferol (vitamin D3). Some research suggests that cholecalciferol is better at raising levels of vitamin D in the blood.

Read more: http://www.umm.edu/altmed/articles/vitamin-d-000340.htm#ixzz26DG2vszm

[SingularNYCFemme]

Your body stores vitamin D and can make it when your skin is exposed to sunlight. Vitamin D is also found in some foods, mostly ones like milk that have been fortified with vitamin D. There are two forms of vitamin D: ergocalciferol (vitamin D2) and cholecalciferol (vitamin D3). Some research suggests that cholecalciferol is better at raising levels of vitamin D in the blood.

Read more: http://www.umm.edu/altmed/articles/vitamin-d-000340.htm#ixzz26DG2vszm

I'm to take prescription strength ergocalciferol for eight weeks and then go to vitamin D3 supplements after that. This is my medical doctor's treatment; my psychiatrist agrees with it, though, as he feels it will improve my mood. There are a few factors that would seem to be causing problems with my absorption of vitamin D, so hopefully this course of treatment will do the trick. Thank you for the info and the link!

[txdoc]

In addition to Toughy's response, you can also try trazodone (generic name, most general practitioners will prescribe) or you can go to any store that sells vitamins and get some melatonin (always check with pharmacist firsI sleep bettert). It might be difficult if a regular family doctor is prescribing your sleep aid to get them to put you on Remeron; a psychiatrist would be more willing to do so as they are better educated as to how it might interact with other medications as it is a psychotropic medication.

Not giving any recommendations, just some other options.

I sleep better on trazodone than ever on ambien

[Prudence]

For sleep... OTC Melatonin:
Melatonin is a hormone secreted by the pineal gland in the brain. It helps regulate other hormones and maintains the body's circadian rhythm. The circadian rhythm is an internal 24-hour “clock” that plays a critical role in when we fall asleep and when we wake up. When it is dark, your body produces more melatonin; when it is light, the production of melatonin drops. Being exposed to bright lights in the evening or too little light during the day can disrupt the body' s normal melatonin cycles. For example, jet lag, shift work, and poor vision can disrupt melatonin cycles.

http://www.umm.edu/altmed/articles/melatonin-000315.htm#ixzz2BvPngQwn