Couples- how did you meet your partner?

[femmebotdyke]

Okay so as much as I'm curious about how people form relationships and the nature of sexual attraction there's an ulterior motive behind this post. As a single femme I'm hoping your answers have some kind of educational value! Did most people meet their partners through butch/femme/FTM social networks (either formal or informal, online or offline) or through some other channel? The commercial lesbian/queer scene in my area doesn't seem to attract many butches or FTMs or butch/femme couples. Have any of the FTMs on the board found heterosexual partners outside of lesbian/queer communities? What initially attracted you to (or conversely, turned you off) your current partner?

For singles and couples- do you think it's possible (or even desirable) to de-centre ''the couple'' as the foundational unit of butch/femme culture or would doing so be kind of...I don't know...destabilizing?

[PearlsNLace]

I met Paphigleo here. And on Dash. We had been aquaintances for year. One weekend I was very sick, and Nick was stuck at home because his Van was stolen. We began living in chat at dash and chasing each other in the threads here. We took a risk. And what we have now is awesome.

[Apocalipstic]

I worked with Cynthia's sister and knew she existed, then finally met her one Halloween at a local bar when she handed me her leash. Heh.

A couple of years later I asked for her email address and after a while we ended up together for a year or so...we then broke up for five years, and got back together five years ago and have been happily together ever since.

It has beena long jorney, but the think that I find most relevant is...we have always treated each other with respect. Even when I broke up with her, it was very respectful. No cheating, no dragging name through mud...etc.

Respect is key.

[cane]

I met my wife through mutual friends, she was straight had a boyfriend so I just watched from afar for a while. At some point though I realized that she might like me so I took a chance and spoke my peace, and now we've been married for 3 years.

I still worship the ground she walks on
and will forever be her soldier

[bright_arrow]

I met Bard on BF shortly after hy joined, but we were both in relationships and really only said hi in passing if we were in chat at the same time. Shortly after I got out of my relationship, hy PMed me just to say hi and see how I was doing. We spoke on yahoo a few times and decided we'd get together for lunch since we're from roughly the same area (ninety minutes apart).

Since that day we've spoken daily, together almost every week, and a year and a half later I have quit my job and moving in this week :)

[JustLovelyJenn]

Tuff and I frequented the same lesbian chat room. While I am told hy noticed me right away, I was mostly oblivious of hym for several months. When hy finally did get my attention I was at a place where I didn't want a relationship. We talked and flirted and hy expressed an interest in something more, and I resisted even though we talked almost every day... in the end hy won me over. There hasn't been a day since then that we haven't talked. Six months later, Tuff just left after a 10 day visit with me and my children and is planning to move hymself and hys daughter out near us to continue our courtship and eventually combine our families.

[SimpleAlaskanBoy]

daisy and I met at the dash site. Instant attraction right away, but at first neither one of us wanted anything serious. Then I found I was falling in love with her. I asked her out in chat and we've been together ever since. Last October I moved from Alaska to here (Ohio) to be with her.
~SAB

[julieisafemme]

At my very first butch/femme dance! I was so nervous and scared! Greyson was so nice to me. He asked me to dance and talked to me all night. I thought he was such a gentleman and very sweet. The next morning I woke up and had a pm from him asking me out! He listened to me that night and planned an evening that he knew I would like. I was so overwhelmed by his thoughtfulness and confidence.

[MsTinkerbelly]

I met my Kasey through Yahoo personals....long story short we have been together almost 8 years, legally married in California for 2 years.

[tuffboi29]

I resisted even though we talked almost every day... in the end hy won me over.



lol


Wore her down was more like it!!! :|

[Chancie]

I saw Pete at a local women-owned café.

She was reading the paper, and drinking a latte, and wearing Dickies.

I thought she was fabulously cute, and I swore that I would talk to her.

I walked up to her and I stammered out a cockamamie reason to give her my email address.

It was years later, or maybe two weeks, and she hadn't emailed me.

One afternoon I was grading papers in the same café and

She came up to me with a teeny tiny cupcake to apologize.

She had washed her pants with my email address in the pocket.

She asked me for my number, and

She called me when she was driving home to Western Mass from her father's wedding in Florida.

My handsome beautiful Pete and I have been dating since December.

[CrankyOldGuy]

on another bf site.

we'll be together 2 years next month! :rrose:

[WickedFemme]

The first time I saw hym was when I was organizing a leather conference - I introduced myself and made small talk to be cordial and welcoming. About a month later I got dumped by then 3 year relationship. About a month after that I was at a gathering and this butch was there, we talked and hung out and my interest was definitely 'sparked'. I sent an e-mail to a mutual friend inquiring and received an e-mail back just a couple days later by the butch of interest. It's all history now and we are very much in love and it's to date the best and most fulfilling relationship I have ever experienced... it's been close to eight months and I've never been happier.

We are a butch-femme couple with relational dynamics within the bdsm realm. Our dynamics are not within the mainstream butch-femme culture as we play a lot within a Mommy/boi, daddy/boi context/relationship. I say not mainstream within the butch-femme culture because the majority tend towards the butch being the top/daddy/sir and the femme being girl/bottom/submissive. You will see that most of the 'threads' within the leather forums are geared more towards daddy/girl than mommy/boi or daddy/boi. So, that is my reason for saying that we aren't within the mainstream. We are in the mainstream of butch-femme culture in that hy is butch and I am femme and it's quite obvious from outward appearances and internal being/attitudes with a slight 'twist'.

[Gemme]

Organic and I were in relationships with other people when we were introduced to one another, so neither of us paid much attention to the other, other than the cordial hello and how are you.

Time passed, and we were no longer in our relationships, but still only friendly. Then Bessie (my computer), began giving me serious trouble. A mutual friend of ours told me to call him since he's a tech guru. I did, and over time we talked quite a bit. Bessie's a bit ornery, one might say, so I needed a lot of tech support.

So, he'd hook into my system and look around and we'd occasionally fight over who had control of the mouse. :blink:

I moved to Austin immediately before the reunion and he helped me find my way to my destination. After seeing me in two day old clothes, no make up, hair all frizzy, sweaty and cursing up a storm, he was still interested. That told me right there that Organic was a keeper. :cheesy:

We grew closer through the Reunion and, now that we both are in Texas, we have the chance to further explore and enjoy one another.

Organic, however, says it was an arranged marriage. :blink:

[skeeter_01]

I met her on gay.com back when it was the happenin' site! :)

She lived 3 hours south of me and we met after a few weeks. I fell head over heals in love with her...we got married in our church and raised her 2 boys together..after 12 years we split up and stayed on very friendly terms..the way i see it...she was my best friend for 12 years and i wasn't willing to give that up!

so alas i'm a single skeeter now...enjoying being single but would REALLY love to date and have fun! that's the plan anyway! ;)

[femmebotdyke]

Thanks to everyone for sharing their stories.

[Queerasfck]

Story A.
I purchased Mister Bent in an overseas flea market/sex auction. I got him and a great turkish area rug for cheap!

Story B.

Mail order bride, I believe the site was called www.prettypeoplefromukraine.com. Yes, he's from the Ukraine. His real name is Benthuslav.

Story C.

Came with the house I bought. Original owners left him in the garage.

Story D.

FreeCycle. No explanation needed.

[Spirit Dancer]

1-800-big-daddi:sunglass:

[miss entycing]

1-800-big-daddi:sunglass:

hey, me too!
I opted for the *dial 0 for further assistance*
so I did.... and Hy did.... and we did, again and again.
:fallenangel:

[blush]

Goof came pre-assembled and potty-trained. The manual was easy to read, and he even had his own tools for repairs.

What more could I ask for?

Actually, the story is pretty boring. We ran around in the same circle for two years. Our friendship grew. Sometimes it feels like we've been together forever, sometimes it feels like we just met. I love our unpredictability.

The OP said: "
For singles and couples- do you think it's possible (or even desirable) to de-centre ''the couple'' as the foundational unit of butch/femme culture or would doing so be kind of...I don't know...destabilizing


I certainly don't feel like I have to be part of a couple to "be" a femme. For me, there is nothing foundational about being in a couple. My "femme-ness" doesn't reside within "us," but within me.

[Bit]

Did most people meet their partners through butch/femme/FTM social networks (either formal or informal, online or offline) or through some other channel? .......... What initially attracted you to (or conversely, turned you off) your current partner?

Gryph and I met on the Dash site. I had been doing daily ritual for nine months to find the right partner for me; it started out, "I deserve to be loved the way I want to be loved; I deserve to give love the way I want to give it. I deserve to be safe. I deserve to be happy. I deserve to be a wife..." and it went on for as long as I could think of affirmations. I even included "I deserve clean air to breathe and clean water to drink" lol! But it WASN'T working and I was utterly miserable, heartsick and at the end of my rope when I happened to get online one Sunday... only to read the answer to my prayers!

I wasn't sure how things would go at first... I read the first posts and all I could think was "don't let this one get away!!" It wasn't the posts... it was in the name. The posts didn't hurt, though! So we started talking in the thread and pretty quickly in PM, then in IM. We talked all Sunday evening, all Monday evening, and then all day on Tuesday by phone. It was pretty clear to me at that point that my prayers had been answered; Gryph said he's been reading my posts and was already in love with me. We made a commitment to each other that night, and over the next couple weeks I fell in love, too.

I was in Wichita 7 weeks later. The shock of walking into Shrek's Cousin's Cave nearly undid me; I was SO CERTAIN that I had made a huge mistake!!! THAT couldn't have been the answer to my prayers!! It was amazingly hard to look past the filth and see the actual person I loved. I basically forced him to help me clean the mess up, which took us HOURS; and I privately resolved that I would just get back on the bus and go home as soon as the place was clean.

It was less than 24 hours before I changed my mind, though. He went to work the next day, I kept on cleaning, and the extreme joy and relief on his face when he came in the door that night and saw the clean apartment convinced me that it would be okay to stay.

The original plan had been that I would pack up his apartment and then we would come back to Arizona together; he'd drop me off at my mom's place and go on to Camp Verde, then once he got settled we'd move in together. Evidently, the Goddess and the Ancestors said "Why? You've already moved in together," and delayed his tax refund by several months. At that point, it was too late to move; our expenses had gotten too high. So he made arrangements to bring my Ladybug to Wichita and we planned a move for the next tax refund.

Again, even though this one came in on time, there wasn't enough and our expenses were too high.

The third year, we just gave up and bought a house. I guess Wichita has claimed us. :cheesy:

Along the way, I have realized repeatedly that there could never be anyone more ideally suited to me than Gryph is. We did have it rough in the beginning; after we got the cave sorted out, we still had to deal with old baggage over and over again. We both cried a lot that first year, although we've very seldom argued... but the baggage would pop itself loose and there we'd be, hurting beyond belief and desperately trying to figure out why. We healed each other from our past relationships that whole year, and we've continued to grow together since.

For singles and couples- do you think it's possible (or even desirable) to de-centre ''the couple'' as the foundational unit of butch/femme culture or would doing so be kind of...I don't know...destabilizing?

I don't believe the couple IS the foundational unit of butch/femme culture. Maybe I don't quite understand what you mean?

It's been my experience that the foundation of butch/femme culture is the energy exchange (not power exchange, energy) that happens between and among butches and femmes whether they're coupled or not. I have had butch friends who sustained me with that energy exchange when I was single, and vice-versa, so it can happen between friends the same way it happens between lovers (minus the sex, at least on my part, lol). Also, I think femme/femme bonding and butch/butch bonding are intrinsic to and foundational to our culture.

If that isn't what you meant, I'd be glad to hear more. Maybe you're looking at it from a different perspective than mine?

[firie]

We were friends for about three years.

He took me with him to court for our first "date" so he could take care of a traffic ticket. He opened the car door and let me go through security first--such a charmer. I was impressed with his ability to get out of the ticket.

And so I bought him a cookie, because he likes cookies.

I also think he smells nice, most days.

Oh, and he makes me laugh more than anyone else in this world.

[Helena_Handbasket]

There is this existing butch/femme personals site....not the other site that we all know about that also has a dating link...but, a lesser know site that is only a dating site. Sorry I cannot remember the name of it. Anyway, A couple years ago, I'd looked through the TN ads and most of the people didn't appear to be either femme or butch. Yesssss, I know you can't base someone's butchness or femmeness on looks alone, but i just wasn't getting that vibe from most of them or their ads. Then I saw Shirley and sent her a wink. She sent me one back, but neither of us tried to contact each other. I met someone else and started dating her. Flash forward 2 years later and I was single again...BUT I was determined to take a break from dating. About 2 weeks later, I popped on the site again....and saw Shirley again. I sent her a wink and she sent me one back. I wrote her and asked her if she'd had any luck over the past 2 years from that site. She admitted that she hadn't and hadn't been to that site in a long time. I told her I had just broken up and was just looking for friends. After much talking, pming, emailling, etc. over the next week, she asked me to dinner. We've been pretty much inseparable every since. :)

[Gayla]

She started my birthday thread on the dash site for a bunch of years in a row. Then one year, she didn't and I PM'd to ask why.

I think that was 5 birthdays ago. She hasn't started a bday thread for me since.

[Starbuck]

I remember it like it was yesterday. I walked into her work and I see this gorgeous blond, she had a long braid to the middle of her back and piercing green eyes. My knees almost buckled. I was there with a friend who knew her so I was introduced.

Not long after that I was invited to a party at her house where it was confirmed for me that she was lesbian...that got me to thinking...how to make a move, because I was longing for her. But at this moment I didn't really think she noticed me.

Some time later she and I were with a mutual friend's doctor appointment when my phone rang and she recognized the ring tone as Battlestar Galactica. THAT caught her attention. After the appointment, we caught a ride to our vehicles and she called me a "good looking brunette", I was like, whoa, where did that come from? Some time passed and then she asked me over for dinner. I was so anxious to get close to her, to touch her hand it made my stomach jump. After dinner we were sitting in side by side recliners watching Shrek. I didn't wan't to watch tv and I had to work up the nerve but I finally began to softly stroke her arm while looking at the tv. She asked me, "Do you know what you are doing?" I turned to her and said, "Yes, I do." Her 6 year old daughter was in the room with us so we just lightly held hands that night. To me, fireworks were being set off!

It wasn't until some time later that I got my first kiss from her and that is my first kiss from a woman period. She's my first gf. I'm a late bloomer, coming out at the age of 37, I'm making up for lost time. On my 38th birthday, she gave me the best birthday present anyone has ever given me: she made love to me, being ever so gentle and teaching me that there is a different kind of love that exists other than just wham bam thank ya ma'am (like so many times I've gotten). Now over a year into our relationship and another birthday passing, I'm taking her to Vegas next month for a week to celebrate!

[Bard]

Desd has had her hands full with me from the start yes we did "meet" and chat for a bit when our paths would cross as we were both in relationships at the time... but we did not come full circle till later.. short story I did ask her out for lunch and man I was nervous she just took my breath away from the start.. I was badly used by my last relationship and very cynical not looking for a relationship Desd hung in with me through my motorcycle accident and so much more she eased the hurt in my heart and loved me for me never asking more then I could give slowly I realized I did not want to spend a moment with out her to see she was the one for me.. she is the last face I want to see before I go to sleep and the first thing I want to see in the morning.. I love our life and our family that we have built I would not have it any other way ... and yes she still takes my breath away :police:

[DapperButch]

My lesbian neighbor plays on a pool league.

She told me that there was an attractive girl on one of the teams that is single that looks like my type. I said, ok and gave said neighbor a picture of me for tantalizingfemme to see. Evidently, I looked good enough to her because she was agreeable to a "meeting". Said meeting was my neighbor and TF's ENTIRE pool team going bowling. I was not so thrilled that this was the way it was set up (I included my phone number with the picture thinking we would connect that way), but decided to just go along with it, as my neighbor and TF's friend from her team appeared to be having such fun with it. I hadn't seen a picture of TF, but that didn't matter to me.

Anyway, about 4 days prior to the scheduled "meet" I was dropping my car off at the body shop. I was at the counter and said to the body shop guy, "Now look, I need the car by Friday because I have a hot date with a new chick". He chuckled and said ok.

A few hours later I get a text. " This is ______. I am supposed to meet you on Friday night. Were you at _______ Body Shop today by chance?" I just about shit myself. Here TF was at the body shop the same time I was, had seen me walk in the door (remember she had a picture of me), and was actually standing by as I was having that conversation with the body shop guy!

We texted for a couple of hours and then decided to meet within a couple of days BY OURSELVES, much to our friends' chagrin!

[Julie]

Dreamer and I had quite the romance. We met on Daywalkers Farm.

There is obviously more to the story - but two years later, we no longer meet on the farm to talk.

Those were the days... Remember?!?

[nycfem]

At a karaoke dive bar in Chinatown!

[starryeyes]

I met my hunnie on the dash site 6 months ago!! :-D

[bright_arrow]

I met Bard on BF shortly after hy joined, but we were both in relationships and really only said hi in passing if we were in chat at the same time. Shortly after I got out of my relationship, hy PMed me just to say hi and see how I was doing. We spoke on yahoo a few times and decided we'd get together for lunch since we're from roughly the same area (ninety minutes apart).

Since that day we've spoken daily, together almost every week, and a year and a half later I have quit my job and moving in this week :)

Just wanted to update, it's been ONE year since I've moved in - over 2 and a half years since we've been together.. We will hit our 3 year mark (May 05) 3 weeks prior to us getting married (May 26, 2012)! :married:

And what turned me on even moreso to my partner was hys absolutely adorable grin and cowboy hats. Never dated a country boi, and hy showed me what I was missing in my life! :kiss:

[lettertodaddy]

Thanks to everyone who shared their stories. It gives me hope that maybe my perfect butch is out there, just waiting to be found.

(but between you and me, she needs to hurry the hell up.)

[Quintease]

Along the way, I have realized repeatedly that there could never be anyone more ideally suited to me than Gryph is. We did have it rough in the beginning; after we got the cave sorted out, we still had to deal with old baggage over and over again. We both cried a lot that first year, although we've very seldom argued... but the baggage would pop itself loose and there we'd be, hurting beyond belief and desperately trying to figure out why. We healed each other from our past relationships that whole year, and we've continued to grow together since.

I can really relate to that.

I met the bf years ago, even before he started on the path to transition. At the time I barely knew anything about Ftm's, but still he became like a brother to me.

We'd met at a lesbian event where we had mutual friends, but generally we moved in different circles so occasionally we'd meet for a chat, just as friends. I used to flirt with him and we had two cheeky snogs, but that was it. Just friends.

My long term relationship ended and the next person I got involved with was manipulative and abusive. For two whole years the bf barely saw me and the few times he saw me I was generally unhappy or unwell. For himself, he spent those two years physically changing into a whole new person!

One day I rang him out of the blue saying 'Guess wot! I'm single!!' He immediately invited me out to a picnic. I went and nothing had changed, we were still JUST friends. It was a week or two later that we began flirting on the phone and within a couple of hours he'd invited me to dinner. I went, expecting dinner or maybe a one night stand, only never really left again :pipe:

[girl_dee]

Syr Bebo and myself met on the BF forums long ago, and after a while of goofing off in Second Life, we entered into a D/s relationship, which was strictly platonic for a couple of years. She came to see me...(even in platonic relationships real meetings are imperative for some of us) ..and it was wonderful.. Months later I was needing a place to go to for the winter, so she drove to get me and brought me back here to the farm, only after I got here I /we 3 realized this is where I belonged all along. We also realized that this has been a real love for a long time, which was safely tucked away in our hearts. We are no longer platonic and this is home to me, I will never need a place to go away to again.

I guess anyone that would drive about 5,000 miles for a visit is pretty darn serious about seeing you. :cheer:

[Daywalker]

Dreamer and I had quite the romance. We met on Daywalkers Farm.

There is obviously more to the story - but two years later, we no longer meet on the farm to talk.

Those were the days... Remember?!?


Daywalker is still meandering through Hys Farm/s.
:farmer:

Only Dreamer is not there to pee in the lakes or
steal rabbit from your Farm. You are Mafia people now.
:formalbow:

RawR.
:vampirebat:

We had some of the hardest laughs back then.
Dreamer was a Farm Pusher, ya know.
Mrs Day worked hard too.
Behind the scenes.
Making sure.
U two met.

:grindevil:

:daywalker:

[Julie]

Daywalker is still meandering through Hys Farm/s.
:farmer:

Only Dreamer is not there to pee in the lakes or
steal rabbit from your Farm. You are Mafia people now.
:formalbow:

RawR.
:vampirebat:

We had some of the hardest laughs back then.
Dreamer was a Farm Pusher, ya know.
Mrs Day worked hard too.
Behind the scenes.
Making sure.
U two met.

:grindevil:

:daywalker:

It's true... and when she suggested Dreamer to me.
I said - No thank you, Mrs. Daywalker.
I am not interested, Mrs. Daywalker.
Find someone else for Dreamer, Mrs. Daywalker.

The end.

[TickledPink]

We were friends first....

Then:

The hot wings, mountain biking, lanai nights and helping hym study hys homework.

Oh, and The Tree, OUR Tree ;)

[tantalizingfemme]

Anyway, about 4 days prior to the scheduled "meet" I was dropping my car off at the body shop. I was at the counter and said to the body shop guy, "Now look, I need the car by Friday because I have a hot date with a new chick". He chuckled and said ok.

A few hours later I get a text. " This is ______. I am supposed to meet you on Friday night. Were you at _______ Body Shop today by chance?" I just about shit myself. Here TF was at the body shop the same time I was, had seen me walk in the door (remember she had a picture of me), and was actually standing by as I was having that conversation with the body shop guy!

We texted for a couple of hours and then decided to meet within a couple of days BY OURSELVES, much to our friends' chagrin!

Oh my gosh, that day was sooooo crazy! I remember seeing you walk in and thought, "Wow...hot" and then I thought you looked familiar, but hadn't put two and two together until you told the guy about the hot date. You were pointing at the calender to tell him when it was, and I was straining my neck to see where you pointed. When I saw it was Friday, all I kept thinking was No WAY!!! I kept peeking around him to look at you, while furiously texting V, saying "you are not going to believe this". Out of all of the car shops, and all of the days, at that exact moment, we were in the same place.

Talk about kismet.

[Lynn]

We met on the dash-related dating site six and a half years ago. She messaged me and I thought that I had never seen someone so perfectly good-looking to me, in her wonderful butchness. We chatted and found out that we were both originally from the same area of PA. We decided to talk on the phone and immediately clicked. Met within a week. We dated long-distance for a year, and then she moved to this area and we continued to get to know each other. After another year, we moved in together. Got engaged about a year and a half ago. On October 22nd, we're getting legally married. :) That is just amazing! We are just enjoying each other and making each other laugh. We couldn't be more excited!

[suebee]

Ima Dandy and I met on the dash site almost three years ago. She lived just across the border from Canada in Maine, and I live about two hours from there. She posted on the Canadian thread, and soon we were messaging each other back and forth. After a couple of months she invited me up for a GLBT dance a couple of days after Christmas. Then we travelled back and forth to see each other, and emailed in between (she didn't like chat). After about 4000 emails, she moved here. On December 27th, three years to the day we DIDN'T make it to the dance. *ahem* - we are going to be married. Then the big wedding is next August in Maine. Wanna come? :)

[Medusa]

Jack and I met on the Dash site in 2000. We were both partnered to other people and remained friends for 5 years before figuring out that we were in love with each other :)

[imperfect_cupcake]

my wife and I met at a party in early 2008. My ex took me to a good bye party of a friend of hers that I got along with very well, she was moving to NZ for two years for the experience of it.

I was leaning against a wall when Inks walked in with her best mate. I saw to *stunning* tall, blonde dutch people walk in: a drop dead gorgeous femme and a gobsmakingly hot butch. I figured they were together. But I admired how eye poppingly hot they both were.

Finally, just before the party was to move from the house to a MASSIVE boarded up club for a huge rave squat party, inki walked up to me and said "aren't your feet hurting in those?" and pointed to my black stilettos. I had been watching her all night, listening to her steal the lime light, be a gob shite, laugh loud, tell rude stories and loved watching her. She apparently had been watching me be "cool as a cucumber in a corset and tight skirt, watching your ass wiggle when it moved" all evening.

"sometimes. but it's fine."
She ran off to T's bedroom closet (the mutual friend) and brought back a pair of gold lame ballet slippers "here."
"I can't wear flats. They give me a rash."
"I'll wear them." then she proceeded to twirl around the kitchen in gold ballet flats making a twat out of herself and making me smile.
When she twirled back to me I said "great. Now try that in these." and kick my stilettos off at her.
She picked up the first shoe, shoved her face in it and inhaled deeply. I was totally sold, right at that moment. She then put them on and trotted around the house demanding attention from everyone.

lol

we then spent the next 7 hours at the massive squat rave doing nothing but talking intensely at a filthy table that people were occationaly doing drugs on lol. well, I beat her with a top hat she kept putting on me when I talked to other people, but that was part of the charm.

Jesus, the bathroom in that place was worse than trainspotting. There was so much shit in the toilet it actually came up to the rim and there was a large plastic garbage bucket FULL of men's piss in the corner. We went in together to help each other pee without getting our clothes dirty or catching disentary.

I like saying, when people ask "where did you two meet?"
"at a dirty squat party in Hackney." (an east end borough of London)

She had a partner at the time. But it had been going quite badly the past year. We met as friends two more times at Bar Wotever. Each time the electricity got noticably stronger. It was fucking intense. I told myself I would get over those feelings if I gave it enough time and to watch myself.

She went home after our third meet to her partner and told her she had met someone she had been attracted to in a way that told her their relationship needed emergency work - and told her what she needed from the relationship. Her partner said she couldn't do that. They broke.

two months later we got together and had sex for three days straight! :D

We got married last December, on the winter solstice during a lunar eclipse and in heavy snow, in Amsterdam.

[ladytiger]

We meet when I was in the 7th grade, hy was a sophmore, we had band together. After hy graduated we seen each other a few times, but I was stupid. (it's a long story) 20 years later we ran back into each other and have been together over a year now.

[StrongButch]

The Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence handed us a safe sex package (lol)

[TWolf]

Wolfsgirl and I met in a chat thread on an electronic cigarette forum almost two years ago... at the time I lived in a 3rd floor apt with a very noisy downstairs neighbor... made some random comment about a vibrating couch that she says caught her eye... *soft chuckle*

[wolfsgirl]

Wolfsgirl and I met in a chat thread on an electronic cigarette forum almost two years ago... at the time I lived in a 3rd floor apt with a very noisy downstairs neighbor... made some random comment about a vibrating couch that she says caught her eye... *soft chuckle*

Who in their right mind would turn down a vibrating couch?
Of course the long game of internet tag was fun too...

[TWolf]

Who in their right mind would turn down a vibrating couch?
Of course the long game of internet tag was fun too...

LMAO!! had me chasing you from forum to forum for awhile there.... of course, catching you was well worth it.... ;)

[thedivahrrrself]

Met mine on the Dash site :)

[Chancie]

I saw Pete at a local women-owned café.

She was reading the paper, and drinking a latte, and wearing Dickies.

<snip>

My handsome beautiful Pete and I have been dating since December.

That was two years ago, and

She has a little more grey hair, and

I have a cataract in my right eye. :|

[*Anya*]

Before we met in person, I "met" my honey right here on the Planet, in October 2011.

My butch sent me a PM after reading a couple of my posts. We quickly realized that we matched closely in terms of our personal values and belief systems.

We finally met in person on New Years Eve, 12/31 and after a few chaste kisses (yes, for real), sparks and electricity flew.

The rest, as they say, is history and though our history is not yet long, the story is still being written...

[Bear2you]

I met my wife from the old BF website. (I was boi_bear on that site) It was a lil flirting on a thread about height. I am 6'5" tall and she is 6'1". She caught me off guard and instant messaged me on AIM. We talked a few days then on the phone for a few weeks. She came to visit me for a weekend (she was in CT, I was in NY) the rest is history. We have been together for almost 7 years, married for 5and a half years, and we have twin daughters who are now 3 and a half(via IVF, she carried them) Life is good! ~bear~:hangloose::hangloose:

[Leigh]

Right here on the Planet ~ I certainly got lucky :)

[LaneyDoll]

Riley and I met though a mutual friend. We became close friends after they parted ways and (as time passed) ended up being really close. Friendship was our foundation.

:sparklyheart:

[G Snap!]

We met through a friend - I have known chefhmboyrd for a couple of years before we started dating. He came with a few warning labels, a few of them real, a few of them fictitious bs made up to deter me (but I saw through the bs.)

[Hollylane]

We met in the 5 Letters thread, right here on BFP...My mysterious, handsome, witty, and quiet butch left a trail of friendship bread crumbs that led to love :)

[Novelafemme]

We met at the Apple store here in Tucson. :) I had my youngest with me and I remember she looked up at Katy and said, "you're really tall!" For some reason it just cracked us both up. :)

[funkyfemme]

We met here last August. I had just gotten out of a relationship and was in no place for anything other than friendship. We started out with PMs. Some days we'd PM like crazy and then we'd go a few days without a word. We only started texting at the end of March and first spoke on the phone in early April. By this point, I had already developed feelings for him but was too scared to say anything. Apparently, he had feelings too but I was too clueless to pick up on it, lol. (When one has their status as "Oh hell no", you also tend to back off a bit!) Anyhoo, the cluebus came by and we are enjoying every single minute together! We got that kind of ridiculous happy that makes people wanna slap ya! :cheer:

[Wolfsong]

I met my wife from the old BF website. (I was boi_bear on that site) It was a lil flirting on a thread about height. I am 6'5" tall and she is 6'1". She caught me off guard and instant messaged me on AIM. We talked a few days then on the phone for a few weeks. She came to visit me for a weekend (she was in CT, I was in NY) the rest is history. We have been together for almost 7 years, married for 5and a half years, and we have twin daughters who are now 3 and a half(via IVF, she carried them) Life is good! ~bear~:hangloose::hangloose:

I remember that!!! You probably recall that Chaos brought Andi and I together but not how. We used to hang out in the same chatroom on Yahoo. The first time I said hello to her she left the chatroom and I typed, "Well, that went well" and everyone kinda laughed. I found out later that one of those raggedy butches that used to follow Sultry (FemNleatherNlace) around like a puppy had told her that I was a dangerous hacker and she was worried that I would do something to her computer.

A few months after that, Andi and I did start to talk a little in the chatroom. I didn't think a lot about it. I was definitely not looking for a girlfriend at the time so I was just generally chatting. Anyhow one night Chaos IM'd me and said that Andi had asked why I didn't like her. I was really surprised because I never did or said anything to make her think that. What I didn't know is that jackass Chaos was also IMing Andi and telling her the very same thing about me. Chaos later said that hy had a feeling that we were supposed to be together. Yes, we fell for the trick that a 12 yr old would use. We had nothing but love for our well meaning, meddling, friend.

We started talking in private and had our first phone date about a week or two after that. It was during the baseball playoffs. Andi had told me that she had never had a Chicago hot dog so I had Portillo's ship a hot dog package (complete with all the appropriate fixings) to her in South Carolina. We cooked dinner together over the phone and then watched the game. A femme that liked baseball? I was in heaven!!

This October is our 10th year together. How do we want to celebrate it? With the White Sox.....at the World Series!!

[Zimmeh]

I met Ruff last year when hy pm'd me about where to find a good place to live in Florida. Of course, I told hym about Orlando and how the jobs were good here. I sent hym my phone number in that original pm and told hym to call once hy get's to Florida. We started talking to each other through text's and I got up the courage and called hym. Hy didn't know what to say to me since I was very tired after working all day and was talking very fast and about different subjects. I found out that hy had moved to St. Augustine, Florida and started talking about the beach. We met up for a friendly coffee date when hy came to Orlando. I was excited to find out that hy had moved to Kissimmee, and we kept going on dates. We moved in together in late January as roommates when hy needed a place to stay and finally got our own apartment in late May. I can say, that I am glad we decided to take things slow and we are very good friends. There were several negative people trying to keep us apart, but that didn't work..:praying:

Zimmeh

[Truly Scrumptious]

Tick and I met 10 years ago on a (now defunct) butch/femme mailing list. I was mostly a lurker, but I would read her posts, and think to myself "I just want to know her". Eventually I sent her an email off-list, and we became friends. We got to know each other very slowly, played Scrabble online for entire days, and traded the stories of our lives. After almost a year, we met in person and never looked back. She moved here 6 months later, and we began the immigration dance.

Fast forward 9 years and we are a boring old cranky married couple who still make each other laugh so hard that we almost wet our pants at least once a day. Can’t ask for much more than that!

[Cin]

Fast forward 9 years and we are a boring old cranky married couple who still make each other laugh so hard that we almost wet our pants at least once a day. Can’t ask for much more than that!
In addition to almost (and sometimes actually) making me piss my pants at least once a day, you still take my breath away. I couldn't want any more than that.

[Hollylane]

We met in the 5 Letters thread, right here on BFP...My mysterious, handsome, witty, and quiet butch left a trail of friendship bread crumbs that led to love :)

And then...

We met on May 18th at the Norfolk airport...Where, as Gaige often says, we first breathed each other in...Then we played, laughed until we cried, and played some more in Virginia Beach for 5 days...There were kisses and much more, blue crabs, playing catch (with football fingers), long walks on the beach during the middle of the day and late at night, dinners, breakfasts, lunches, funnel cake, custard, swimming, and tons of put put golf fun...We found ourselves falling deeper in love with each other...and then we were forced to return home to pine over leaving each other and Virginia Beach.

Much happiness, and much joy followed, and now we are totally over the moon about our love, our future, and joining all the fine people of BFP in 34 days in LR!

There are so many things we are looking forward to sharing together, and we have plenty of time ahead of us to enjoy so much more of each others' company, and some day see our furry families combined (picture the Brady Bunch with furry faces ;))...We are a totally blessed couple to have found each other here, on BFP...:stillheart:

[cinnamongrrl]

Teddy and I met right here on BFP :)

[Teddybear]

Teddy and I met right here on BFP :)

And she had to hit me on the head with a 4x4. The first time we talked in chat was brief. The second time she purposed as a joke but it started us talking and really getting to know each other


We planned a meeting but she wasnt feeling well and i asked her if I need to bring the asprin to help her feel better she said yes since she forgot to get it at the store the nite before.

I called work told them something came up and I needed to go. Got off work went home did the 3 S's and then hit the road and before 8 pm that nite I was there. Im thankful every day since that I took that chance. She is the best thing since sliced bread to me and I feel love from her all the time

I only pray she feels my love for her as often as I feel it from her

[Mrs Arcstriker]

I hooked up with Arcstriker on a really old website called LesbianAtion...

[stephfromMIT]

Amanda and I met at Fall Sport Picture day as High School freshmen. I played football, Mandy ran X-Country.

[Megara]

Alot of queer people in Sweden meet on a website called qruiser.com and that is also where I've met my partner. We talked for three months online and on the phone before we decided to meet. He spent a weekend in my hometown and it was magical! That was at the same time I joined here. Troph is my first FtM lover.

[Logicaly]

Oh the story of how we met...

It has been I think something like 7 possibly even 8 years now since we first met. We met on the dash site, in the chatroom. I think one of us was talking about video games and it peaked the interest of the other. We started talking, a lot, and playing Runescape together. I tried to resist her, I had my own demons and issues that I was trying to work through but man was she persistent and truth be told I loved her from the day I met her, even if I wasn't willing to admit it. Her persistence finally paid off and I couldn't resist her anymore, nor did I want to go on resisting her. We spent a year together and it was a wonderful and amazing year even if we were separated by an entire country. We split up after that, for some time. We however remained in touch and stayed close. She has always been my best friend and someone I can count on. Well recently life brought us back together again and we are getting our second chance. She has recently moved in with me and we are enjoying going down this new path together.

[bright_arrow]

Oh the story of how we met...

It has been I think something like 7 possibly even 8 years now since we first met. We met on the dash site, in the chatroom. I think one of us was talking about video games and it peaked the interest of the other. We started talking, a lot, and playing Runescape together. I tried to resist her, I had my own demons and issues that I was trying to work through but man was she persistent and truth be told I loved her from the day I met her, even if I wasn't willing to admit it. Her persistence finally paid off and I couldn't resist her anymore, nor did I want to go on resisting her. We spent a year together and it was a wonderful and amazing year even if we were separated by an entire country. We split up after that, for some time. We however remained in touch and stayed close. She has always been my best friend and someone I can count on. Well recently life brought us back together again and we are getting our second chance. She has recently moved in with me and we are enjoying going down this new path together.

I think I even gave you an ultimatum - date me or stop talking to me, because I really liked you! :)

[lola]

We met on afterellen. I was just coming out (very late in life) and posted about it and she messaged me. We started messaging back and forth and then emailing and then I flew out to CA to meet her. I moved out here a little over a year ago and we were married last May. :-)

[JDeere]

On a dating site, which I was not expecting to meet someone serious about life, love and other things. Fate just intervened.

[TruTexan]

BUMP................

[Chancie]

I saw Pete at a local women-owned café.

She was reading the paper, and drinking a latte, and wearing Dickies.

I thought she was fabulously cute, and I swore that I would talk to her.

I walked up to her and I stammered out a cockamamie reason to give her my email address.

It was years later, or maybe two weeks, and she hadn't emailed me.

One afternoon I was grading papers in the same café and

She came up to me with a teeny tiny cupcake to apologize.

She had washed her pants with my email address in the pocket.

She asked me for my number, and

She called me when she was driving home to Western Mass from her father's wedding in Florida.

My handsome beautiful Pete and I have been dating since December.

❤️

We got married last summer.

[MsTinkerbelly]

I met my Kasey through Yahoo personals....long story short we have been together almost 8 years, legally married in California for 2 years.

Wow!

Hard to believe this was 6 years ago, but we are going to be celebrating 8 years of wedded bliss on 7/3, and 14 years together shortly after that.

Time flies..........:hangloose:

[MsTinkerbelly]

❤️

We got married last summer.

Best wishes for a long and happy life together!:bunchflowers:

[Orema]

In Palmer Park over 40 years ago.

I'd just moved to the area. Had a great studio apartment a few blocks from the park. I went there one day and saw her. She was there with her partner and had just finished jogging. She was masculine of center, graceful, assertive, and quiet. Her partner was the extrovert and was chatty with me, wanting to know who the new girl was. Instinctively, her partner may have known trouble was brewing.

Eventually we spoke. She sorta forced it because I avoided her. I was incredibly shy around her because she seemed so cosmopolitan and experenced with the world--she watched foreign movies, grew exotic plants, and jogged. LOL. Those were things I'd never done and didn't know anyone who did. I avoided her.
That only intrigued her...

We partnered for four years and broke up. We never had problems with infidelity, finances, or the usual break-up issues. I was insecure and she was stubborn. Neither of us would bend on some issues so we parted amicably, but we cut off all contact.

Forty years later I searched her name online, she popped up on Facebook, and we're back together again.

Right now it's a long-distance relationship and it's taking a toll on us, but we're in it for the long haul.

I came across this thread while looking for threads on LDRs. So, back to my search.

Anyway, that's how we met.

:bow:

[Zimmeh]

We met through a butch-femme group on Facebook. Hy is twenty years older than me, loves to make me smile(even though we only talk on the phone twice a week), lives in New York City and is from Puerto Rico. We are taking things slow and when I get a text from Hym, my heart beats a little faster. I'm happy with myself; for putting my guard down. We have plans to meet in the future.

Zimmeh

[Cin]

met 10 years ago on a (now defunct) butch/femme mailing list. I was mostly a lurker, but I would read her posts, and think to myself "I just want to know her". Eventually I sent her an email off-list, and we became friends. We got to know each other very slowly, played Scrabble online for entire days, and traded the stories of our lives. After almost a year, we met in person and never looked back. She moved here 6 months later, and we began the immigration dance.

Fast forward 9 years and we are a boring old cranky married couple who still make each other laugh so hard that we almost wet our pants at least once a day. Can’t ask for much more than that!

Well 5 years have passed since you posted this. We've been together 14 years now and I'm still laughing with you every single day.

Not a day goes by that you don't show me what it means to be loved. And to me love is a show me kind of thing, a verb not a noun. I know i'm not easy to love, I'm no day at the beach when it comes to love. It's not that I am not lovable or hard to love for some reason, it's just I'm hard to convince. My baggage has made it hard for me to believe I could be loved. But you love me quite thoroughly. There is no room for doubt. You have succeeded where all others have failed. I am loved and I know it. What an awesome thing. If I love you half as well as you love me that would be quite an accomplishment.

The past 14 years have been the best years of my life. Thank you baby!

[Truly Scrumptious]

Well 5 years have passed since you posted this. We've been together 14 years now and I'm still laughing with you every single day.

Not a day goes by that you don't show me what it means to be loved. And to me love is a show me kind of thing, a verb not a noun. I know i'm not easy to love, I'm no day at the beach when it comes to love. It's not that I am not lovable or hard to love for some reason, it's just I'm hard to convince. My baggage has made it hard for me to believe I could be loved. But you love me quite thoroughly. There is no room for doubt. You have succeeded where all others have failed. I am loved and I know it. What an awesome thing. If I love you half as well as you love me that would be quite an accomplishment.

The past 14 years have been the best years of my life. Thank you baby!

Actually, you are the easiest person in the world to love.
You're also the most awesomely awesome person I've ever known, and there is no one on the planet (and by "planet", I mean the one that orbits the sun and not BFP. Well, technically, BFP orbits the sun too, I suppose. But I mean the planet in the global sense of the word, and yanno, the world.) I'd rather walk through this life with. The smartest decision I ever made was to send you that first email exactly 15 years ago.

[cathexis]

Gallup, NM July 1994

She on a OB nursing travel contract
Me on an ER nursing travel contract

We stood outside of the ER doors for a smoke break. She had a perm., rose colored glasses, dangle earrings. She couldn't pull it off, and was an obvious
butch under the costume. I was muscular with dark brown hair and an obvious
stone butch dominant carriage.
We had strong crushes on each other that were not stated.
Went out a couple of times platonically (yeah, right).
Invited Her back to my apartment to show off my computer, but ended up
showing off my "toy bag."

Watched TV for about 12 hours while She was getting up the courage to make
a pass. She had claimed to be straight so I wasn't going first.

After Her drinking 9 beers over the 12 hours, She made a move and "it was
all over."

Needless to say, She got rid of the perm, earrings and changed Her hair to reveal the "butch under femme's clothing."

There was a bit of relationship struggle, but She ended up as my Dominant and both madly in love.

Here we are 23 years after meeting, still together as fresh as Day 1. Laughing and chatting nearly all day every day.

[JDeere]

Facebook group!

We found we have quite a lot in common! So we starting talking, then progressed to the date stuff, then she is visiting and then see what happens.

[Kätzchen]

Rico & I met each other at a friends-only afternoon dinner party and we had such a lovely time with our mutual friends that we plotted to see each other as often as we could, in the beginning.

We've been inseparable since that late August afternoon. We've laughed together and cried and we've grown so incredibly close over the past 2 and a half years that we made our engagement official, recently.

We have plans for our wedding, next year, but we may wait a little while longer until the pandemic subsides and life (and travel) is safer for us and our chosen family of friends. :stillheart:

[Stone-Butch]

I was working at the Vet hospital and my friends ex gf came in with her new puppy. She was worried the little one had problems. Before the vet came out to see her I said to her that the puppy had rickets (bow legs and all). I told her she should take it back and try for one without the problem. Sure enough, the vet says, rickets, you should try to get another puppy. Well that was the beginning, I asked her out to pizza and beer and she said yes and we were happy for 22 more years.

[homoe]

I was working at the Vet hospital and my friends ex gf came in with her new puppy. She was worried the little one had problems. Before the vet came out to see her I said to her that the puppy had rickets (bow legs and all). I told her she should take it back and try for one without the problem. Sure enough, the vet says, rickets, you should try to get another puppy. Well that was the beginning, I asked her out to pizza and beer and she said yes and we were happy for 22 more years.


What a wonderful story Stone!

I met Mary at the office job I got when I first moved to Milwaukee & I met my "traveling companion" at the hotel's front office where I always stayed at in Chicago.

[Mel C.]

My wife and I posted in butch-femme forums so our screen names were familiar to each other. We met in person at a BFP Reunion (would love to see another one of those...reunion, not wife). I thought to myself "I wish I could be with a woman like her." I thought she was beautiful, intelligent and funny, but she was "unavailable" at the time. Fast forward a year or two at another Reunion and another case of bad timing. Over the next several years, we both found ourselves in and out of relationships. We also wandered in and out of the butch-femme community. It must have been about 10 years between our first encounter (in-person) and our first kiss. It was well worth the wait.