Personal Space -- In Your Face

[Jude]

Wondering if I'm just socially atypical............. What is the level of your need for personal space? Does the suggestion of "in your face" send an involuntary shiver up your spine? Do crowds ever overwhelm you? How do you feel about the person behind you in a que (how close is too close)? The hug from a mere acquaintance?

This is wholly apart from sexual intimacy - talking physical, personal space here; not even about emotional need for space. (That may be my next query!)

[princessbelle]

I know what you mean. I think i'm sorta ordinary when it comes to space. But omg i have a coworker...geeze louise she gets like two inches from my face when she talks.....i back up, she walks forward and sometimes i'm going in circles trying to get away basically. It's weird how personal space is diff for diff folks.

And the elevator? OMG it's funny to me. If there are two in there it seems you stand on opposite sides..then more come in and they take the back and so on. Like there is little tabs on the floor and everyone knows where their spot is when getting on to give equal space on all sides. Unless of course it is full then everyone just sucks it in and prays the ride is a quick one, looks at the ceiling or someones shoes, because then someone is definately in your space.

That is something to think on and it will be interesting reading others responses.

[suebee]

"They" say that personal space is about 18". If you take your hand, put it about two feet away from somebody and move it in slowly you'll usually find their aura - a feeling of slight heat and resistance - at about 18". That's about where mine is. We all have to compromise in crowds, on the bus etc. Sounds like yours is greater than that. Have a friend try the aura exercise. It would be interesting to see what the results are.

[katsarecool]

I feel uncomfortable when people get too close to me; strangers. It does not seem to bother me when in a crowd; a crowd that is entering or leaving an event. But when someone stands to close to me it feels like an invasion. Sometimes I will back up into that person on purpose and then look them in the eye as I say excuse me slowly but with a aggressive "protetcing my personal space" look. It does the trick always.

[bigbutchmistie]

I cant take crowds at all...

I dont like people behind me

At work there is a wall behind me and everyone is around me :)

If I know you hugs dont bother me.

[Blade]

OMG I think I'm on both ends of the spectrum. I am a touch person. I hug everyone, I feel very at ease in a crowd of "my peeps". However I don't like to be crowded by folks. Like at a movie or concert or something like that. I don't like anyone sitting behind me, like in a office or out to eat I sit facing the door, I wanna see who's coming and going.

Like Belle I have a cousin who almost touches noses with you when she talks to you and I'm all over the place trying to get away from her. Touch me ok but don't breathe my breath please.

[DapperButch]

When I first started being a part of the lesbian community, I had to get used to all the hugging....you meet a person through a mutual friend at a gathering and two hours later when you are saying goodbye to them they hug you. Huh? Do I know you?

I learned that indeed talking to them for five minutes did qualify as "knowing them" and this qualified us for "hug status"....I just went with the flow and got used to it...now I can hug anyone.

In general though, I think that my comfort level of space between myself and another person would fall under average to wanting a bit more space than the average person.

[rlin]

i do okay in crowded spaces... its like my psyche knows it just has to deal with it...
but... in a normal environment... nope... i have a pretty good idea of my space... i think it is deeper than 18"...
and... even hugs from folks i like are iffy... i think i need a real physical relationship with the person...
i think that personal space is the lesson i beat into my kid the most...
even when he was 2 or 3 and had no idea of personal space... i was teaching him... now... he has hangups with it... so... i think i created a monster... its few and far between that i get a hug from him unless he wants it... of course... he is 21... so i consider myself lucky that he ever wants a hug...
damn...
i think i got off topic...
hmmm
yeah...
space is really flipn important...

[suebee]

One of my fav people on the planet is my cousin. She's just a great all-round person. But she does not like to be hugged. Her mother says she was that way even as a baby. It's always kind of seemed like a mystery to me. She's such a warm person, yet obviously is wired to not accept much in the way of casual physical contact. Anybody know someone like that?

[Gemme]

Wondering if I'm just socially atypical............. What is the level of your need for personal space? Does the suggestion of "in your face" send an involuntary shiver up your spine? Do crowds ever overwhelm you? How do you feel about the person behind you in a que (how close is too close)? The hug from a mere acquaintance?

This is wholly apart from sexual intimacy - talking physical, personal space here; not even about emotional need for space. (That may be my next query!)

I don't have a set level or physical amount of space that is THE amount for me. It depends on the situation, the people involved, whether I'm ovulating, etc.

Crowds don't bother me unless the other people consistently get in my way. Then, I begin to take it personally and the teeth begin to clench. I get more irritated than overwhelmed.

As for lines, I prefer enough room for there to be a distinct difference between them and myself and their stuff and my stuff. I'll keep the cart behind me in order to get that space, if I see or feel a space hog coming.

Like Blade, I'm a touchy feely sort. I touch people. I do understand that others are not as touchy as I am and try to remember who is less inclined to be okay with a touch on the shoulder or a pat than others. I hug lots. If I feel someone is not too huggy and/or not comfortable with hugging but we're already going through the motions, I'll spare them and make it a super quick half hug, like teachers have to do in schools now.

Someone mentioned elevators. That's an excellent analogy for how I handle personal space. I give others as much personal space as I can, fitting the situation. As more people come into the space, there's going to be some adjusting and shuffling around, but if all are respectful of one another's space, it's more tolerable than if you have someone literally in your face.

I have no qualms with telling someone to back up or give me space if there is space to be given. Sometimes it's a simple "Excuse me" and a simultaneous shifting of the eyes in the direction I want them to move and either a shoulder shrug or actual movement of my arms in that direction.

I've also addressed personal space with children in front of their parents, not that it did any good for the parents. The children seemed to be more aware of the space issue than the parents were, actually.

[asphaltcowboi]

personal space... i do not like to be touched by new people or drunks or hardley anyone but my partner in public. i get nervous in crowds and do anything to get away into my own space. when i met a new person a hand shake is fine.. i dont like the hugs..i put up with it from friends but only because they are friends and i try to limit the touching. ive been known to throw a mean right hook when someone sneaks up behind me or startels me. then when im home i love being cuddeling and sharing my space with my partner but even there im funny about it sometimes.

[Jude]

One of my fav people on the planet is my cousin. She's just a great all-round person. But she does not like to be hugged. Her mother says she was that way even as a baby. It's always kind of seemed like a mystery to me. She's such a warm person, yet obviously is wired to not accept much in the way of casual physical contact. Anybody know someone like that?
____________________________

My brother could be the poster boy for Aspergers Syndrome. I cant' think of a characteristic that he does NOT exhibit. I'm mentioning him in the context that my mother used to confide in me that my brother would never make eye contact with her when he was an infant, even when he was feeding. Even as an infant, he cried if he was picked up and relaxed again only when he was put down. Most babies lock into their mother's eyes. Needless to say, my brother doesn't like to hug. We had a standing joke that after a long separation, I could give him a hug so long as it didn't last more than 3 seconds and was accompanied by the phrase: "Hug, Hug, Pat, Pat. Okay, I did it." Not suggesting your relation is an Aspie, but feeling extremely uncomfortable in that situation is certainly characteristic of someone with social anxiety.

[ravfem]

In public, if it gets too crowded near me, i'll usually try to move off to the side just enough to get some breathing room but not to remove myself completely.

Recently i was at a very crowded street festival and had to actually fight going into my little space, a new experience for me. Luckily i had a very calming influence on my phone and they helped me get past that moment quickly.

i love being on a crowded dance floor though.

The thing is, i love going to stuff like that. i also love just walking around, whether downtown, at flea markets....anything. But if i sense or hear/feel people behind me, i'll move to the side so they can go by me.

As far as being around friends, i am a touchy-feely person, and love to give hey & bye hugs. But don't stay in my space during a conversation, unless i want you there.

If i'm interested in someone but don't want them to know, i'll go out of my way to not get in their personal space, but i think that's because most times i'm afraid they'll pick up on my vibes if i do.

[katsarecool]

____________________________

My brother could be the poster boy for Aspergers Syndrome. I cant' think of a characteristic that he does NOT exhibit. I'm mentioning him in the context that my mother used to confide in me that my brother would never make eye contact with her when he was an infant, even when he was feeding. Even as an infant, he cried if he was picked up and relaxed again only when he was put down. Most babies lock into their mother's eyes. Needless to say, my brother doesn't like to hug. We had a standing joke that after a long separation, I could give him a hug so long as it didn't last more than 3 seconds and was accompanied by the phrase: "Hug, Hug, Pat, Pat. Okay, I did it." Not suggesting your relation is an Aspie, but feeling extremely uncomfortable in that situation is certainly characteristic of someone with social anxiety.I had the same experience with my son that you described here. It turned out he as Aspergers as well. He still will hug but his muscle bound body gets all stiff. But we know he loves us and we accept him for the special person he is. He is 34.

[Miss Scarlett]

I confess to being a bit of a hugger myself.

As far as crowds are concerned, it depends on the situation. Most of the time it doesn't bother me. I don't like our large farmers' market when the men from some ethnic groups crowd you, walk in front of you, get in your way, act like you're invisible, etc. Grrrrrrr!

My previous employer was a "crowder." If she was standing behind me to look at a document or something on my computer she would press herself into my shoulder either her hip or by leaning on me. It felt nasty and once she actually belched in my ear and I mean a "frat party belch" too.

[dale2555]

Wondering if I'm just socially atypical............. What is the level of your need for personal space? Does the suggestion of "in your face" send an involuntary shiver up your spine? Do crowds ever overwhelm you? How do you feel about the person behind you in a que (how close is too close)? The hug from a mere acquaintance?

This is wholly apart from sexual intimacy - talking physical, personal space here; not even about emotional need for space. (That may be my next query!)

With family, and this includes my friends who have meshed into family through the years, I rarely feel the need to pull back. With anyone else, there is a definitive line drawn and any push over that line is received with my physically stepping back to regain my necessary distance. How much distance is determined by who that person is and the context of the situation.

I have recently been told that I am an "in your face person" and this surprised me. Never saw myself that way. I asked a friend who has known me a long time and she said yes. However when I asked for clarification, she said I get in people's faces when I find their behavior or conversation offensive, which is totally different from the discussion here.

I am a touchy, feely person with those I care for and enjoy being touched by them. However, to be thought of as someone who doesn't sense anothers "personal space" has given me pause. Not saying I feel horrible about it, but I will be more attentive to it now.

[DomnNC]

Strangers I keep at arms length. I find it totally inappropriate for someone I don't know to be hugging on me, touching on me or getting in my face, as someone else said in that situation a handshake is the appropriate thing to do, in my opinion anyway. My family and close friends, I have no problem with hugging me, touching me etcetcetc.

As far as outdoor events, those things don't bother me, I just make sure I'm aware who is close to me and keep whomever is with me close to me as well. It's just a matter of personal safety nowadays.

[The_Lady_Snow]

Wondering if I'm just socially atypical............. What is the level of your need for personal space?

I needed it heavily, I like being alone, it's never been a deep issue for me. I do know it's not healthy. Without getting into details- I did not come from a household where there was a lot of touching or hugging matter of fact it was rare, so I was literally not imprinted to be this way, so with that came the need and like of just being alone. Which by the way is hard when you start having kids, cause my kids are all about their senses and needed to be touched. I was lucky enough to have found Mentors and well there was my Sir and he broke me real quick because he knew how unhealthy it is and I am grateful for that.



Does the suggestion of "in your face" send an involuntary shiver up your spine?

It makes me cringe, my walls go up, and I get tense..

Do crowds ever overwhelm you?

Yes, but I am pretty good at deflecting people's energies off and sticking to my own space if need to.

How do you feel about the person behind you in a que (how close is too close)?

Yeah unless I know them or trust them I tend to move in a circular fashion so I can see all angles.


The hug from a mere acquaintance?

Way back in the day, I would back away from a hug, this I found out is rude and not ok (therapy) so I extend my hand out first, I have met a lot of people that are like oh no we hug, and this is what I have learned.

Hugs are great, (sometimes) and you can feel a lot about a person through a hat, they are full of love, concern, affection and some hugs are like sugar cookies and Christmas. I know sounds fucked up and all Sandra Lee but I am sharing my experiences.

This is wholly apart from sexual intimacy - talking physical, personal space here; not even about emotional need for space. (That may be my next query!)

I still tend to like my alone time, I like to be quiet for days, it's hard to manuever if you are partnered or friends with people who don't get it or take it or make it about them. I am honest right away about how I am or can be, I am slow to brew it's not going to change.

I'm at a cross roads right now in my life because of current events, I see myself teeter totering between going into recluse to not. It's been hard to find an even balance and I can feel I am not as open to being to close with people. I know enough about myself to work it out and find a healthy balance, but it's hard cause when you are someone who is guarded there are events or experiences that will make one want to go back to old habits and those old habits well they make for a touchless existence. I know I gotta keep working on this though.

[weatherboi]

hi folks!!! :)

What is the level of your need for personal space? Does the suggestion of "in your face" send an involuntary shiver up your spine? Do crowds ever overwhelm you? How do you feel about the person behind you in a que (how close is too close)? The hug from a mere acquaintance?


my level of personal space is dictated by the type of energy that surrounds me or approaches me. i was born with something that attracts predators(good and bad) and i have been painfully and blissfully aware of this since i was very very young.

i crave touch and when i lack in being touched my physical tick emerges...my parents weren't touchy, weren't emotional and lacked kindness.waiting in line and hugs don't bother me. i mean, hug or handshake away, it doesn't matter because i am gonna read/feel that persons energy whether i want to or not. sometimes they can energize me and sometimes they can drain me to where i need a nap after the exchange. everybody hugs differently and i am ok with that.

:mohawk:

navigating crowds is really just a matter of waiting and deflecting. i used to get overwhelmed when i was younger until i learned to block people and their energy. now i just remain alert and anticipate, especially when i am out with my Ms and loved ones.

[Julie]

Personal space is dictated by my mood, and this can change from touch me to get the hell away from me in an instant. I am a recluse... I do not like people very much, especially in my space. Though, I love humanity and work for it. If I never have to leave my home, it is huge which is why I work at home - I don't have to see people.

I grew up with parents who were part of the "love" generation (60's hippies) and grew up with intense beautiful touch. A family bed, where we could sleep whenever we chose. I touch my children whenever I can. My partners, well - they can suffer from my coldness, if I go there. I am not sure where it comes from. It is not how I grew up and I think I should to therapy. Serious!

If you are invited into my home - it will become your home and you will be loved. You probably will be touched if you are in my home, because I love you and have invited you there. I will probably even tuck you in when its time to say goodnight (well maybe not, but I will want too). If I have invited you into my home, it is because I trust you.

I am having a hard time with this thread, writing - because people see me as all warm and bubbly - friendly... Especially because of my work. And I am all of those things, but it is really hard and scary for me to put myself out there.

I do not like to travel for work, it scares me - because then I have to be in spaces I have no control over. I need my space - I do not like having to put a smile on my face. Same with personal travel - out of my element and really hard for me. It shocks me still, as I sit here in Australia that I have left and am here - out of my space and element.

It's four in the morning for GOD SAKE and what am I DOING UP? I should probably re-read what I wrote, but I am not going too. I should be snuggled in bed with this other human being who craves touch (at least mine).

Oh... I am really good at warning prospective partners, that I come with major issues attached to my being. I am not sure why I warn them, except to say - maybe they will leave me alone. Those that don't - usually get me. And then I tend to feel really bad for them. I generally spend the next amount of years apologizing for my behavior.

It's 4am and my brain is not working so well.

[TickledPink]

I love me time! It's important to me to soak up the silence and gain energy from its source. I can still have music flowing and be in silence. I can still have my pack around me and be in silence.

Total me time would consist of being in a candle-lit room, aromatherapy and some good ole meditating. :praying: Or a hot bath with some good-smelling bubbles! It's amazing what it can do for your psyche!

As for crowds, they bother me more in my old age. I loathe Wal-Mart and anywhere I have to stand in line. Folks like to strike up a convo with me for no reason. Total strangers open up to me and I'm always left going, WTF?

However, I'm a hugger! I can't help it! I mean, I wouldn't just hug a stranger or let said stranger touch me. I don't care for anyone being in my face or touching my face period. But I love some hugs :)

[Apocalipstic]

It freaks me out for people to stand behind me, and I really like large personal space unless I am really comfortable with the person and in a calm mood.

[Jude]

After reading the myriad of responses to my initial query, I think I've come to realize that it's about the face in the space far more than the body. I don't care where a stranger's body is hanging out as long as I don't have to touch or smell it if I don't choose to do so. I care deeply where their face is --- even a beloved friendly face. If I'm not actively using the face in one way or another, I don't want it a few inches from my own. Suspect this is an atypical response and others are far more gracious.

Ever seen the ad where the little boy is teasing his sister and has his finger an inch from her cheek and is saying: "I'm not touching you. I'm not touching you."? The ad itself makes me want to crawl the walls. My own granddaughter tried that one out on me and I found it instantly intolerable and I tend to kind of like the kid

With me, seems to be a face thing! :mohawk:

Dear Newspaper Advice Columnist: Is this normal?

[Gemme]

It still depends on the sitch for me. If I'm sharing a secret or information that I don't want revealed to just anyone, yes, you better have your face REALLY close to mine while I'm telling it to you. However, once that is over, you shall remove your face from my space. I don't like breathing other people's carbon dioxide, even my partner's.

I don't think it's abnormal that you are so bothered by anyone entering your space, Jude. I don't think the average person feels that strongly about it, though. As long as it doesn't hurt anyone majorly (it's not like you're playing favorites, it seems) and it's not the result of some trauma in your life, it's fine I would say.

[Jesse]

Hi I'm Jesse and I am a space hog. I want all 3 feet of my owned space please, unless we are being physically intimate and even then at some point I am going to need to breathe.

Like Apocalipstic, I don't like for people to be behind me. Go ahead and give it a try if you like, but don't say I didn't warn you. <laughing>

I generally will not sit with my back to a door or where someone can walk up behind me.

I also do not see the need for us to stand 3" apart while we talk.

I also have an issue if I am sitting down and someone walks up to me to talk and ends up kind of hovering over me like they have lost their gravity or something. Do sit down please.

Funny what peeves some and not others. :)

[Isadora]

I am touchy feelie. I do not mind touchy feelie from people I love. I crave touch and usually pick people who also do.

I do not like crowds however and things like Pride or Folsom, etc., make me nervous and I feel like I can't breathe.

I always sit with back to a wall so I can see things coming, this comes from growing up with an attack mother. However, if I trust someone to "have my back" I can sit anywhere. Like if I am out with someone who also has to have there front facing people and I trust them it does not bother me.

I lived with 9 brothers and sisters. I went from home to convent and lived with about 300 women. Alone time? I dun like being alone. At all. I need very little alone time. I do not like being in my house alone. I like being with people.

When I was a CEO and had a big office, I made a co-worker share an office with me. I don't like working in isolation. I would not do well at home. I love traveling and meeting people. However, I do understand that people need space and am very aware and respectful of others.

[Jude]

It still depends on the sitch for me. If I'm sharing a secret or information that I don't want revealed to just anyone, yes, you better have your face REALLY close to mine while I'm telling it to you. However, once that is over, you shall remove your face from my space. I don't like breathing other people's carbon dioxide, even my partner's.

I don't think it's abnormal that you are so bothered by anyone entering your space, Jude. I don't think the average person feels that strongly about it, though. As long as it doesn't hurt anyone majorly (it's not like you're playing favorites, it seems) and it's not the result of some trauma in your life, it's fine I would say.

______________________

Thanks Gemme. Trauma??? A face trauma??? You mean like a heavy face falling on me? Perhaps being run over by a face or bearing witness to a giant exploding face as a small child? :phonegab: Just playing....

[Gemme]

______________________

Thanks Gemme. Trauma??? A face trauma??? You mean like a heavy face falling on me? Perhaps being run over by a face or bearing witness to a giant exploding face as a small child? :phonegab: Just playing....

Yeah, like Max Headroom or something. *grin*

cYdpOjletnc&feature=related

[dale2555]

After reading the myriad of responses to my initial query, I think I've come to realize that it's about the face in the space far more than the body. I don't care where a stranger's body is hanging out as long as I don't have to touch or smell it if I don't choose to do so. I care deeply where their face is --- even a beloved friendly face. If I'm not actively using the face in one way or another, I don't want it a few inches from my own. Suspect this is an atypical response and others are far more gracious.

Ever seen the ad where the little boy is teasing his sister and has his finger an inch from her cheek and is saying: "I'm not touching you. I'm not touching you."? The ad itself makes me want to crawl the walls. My own granddaughter tried that one out on me and I found it instantly intolerable and I tend to kind of like the kid

With me, seems to be a face thing! :mohawk:

Dear Newspaper Advice Columnist: Is this normal?


Dear Jude,

"If I'm not actively using the face in one way or another..."

Well now, the using of a face brings to mind a variety of pictures all of which are normal. Then again, I'm the one seeing said pictures and I've never, EVER, been called normal. "Weird" is the word most commonly used about me - as in, "You're so weird!" I used to be uncomfortable hearing it and then I became wise enough to understand its true meaning. Since that enlightened day, I say, "Thank You". So if you'll allow me to rephrase... No, not normal at all and the perfect response to an unwanted situation!!!

Sincerely,
Newspaper Advice Columnist :hangloose:

[adorable]

I like being alone rather then around people. Most people get on my nerves.
I dislike people hugging me, although I go thru with it to be polite. I have never understood seeing someone you know at the grocery store and them running to you like they're a golden retriever to hug you a "hi."

If people get too close I back up. An arms length is good for me.

Then there is baby touching. Even more then I hate people touching me, I hate them most of all touching my kids. When my oldest was a baby I had her in a carrier on top of the grocery cart (covered of course - lest my grandmother saw me out with her and her face was exposed. lol. <---see superstition thread.) And some lady came up, lifted the blanket and reached out to touch her. I smacked her hand away and told her to keep it moving.

In relationships I have "learned" how to cuddle. It's not so bad when you like the person.

Crowds? It depends. I remember being at an Alanis Morissette concert once
at an outdoor theater. Everyone was standing in front of the stage in a huge group. The entrances/exits were all on the right of us. I thought, man if someone on stage said anything that might cause this crowd to go nuts - a lot of us would die. Or if a light fell down, a fire started... Anything that would cause a stampede.

When I am in NYC, as long as the crowd is moving at a fast pace - I'm ok. I dislike waiting at traffic lights with them or standing in a group waiting for the train. There was a serial killer a few years back that would push people onto the subway rails. I don't like people behind me when I'm waiting.

[Pixie]

I know for me it totally depends on my mindset and situation. Most of the time I am fine, love being around people, I can talk to someone up close and personal......
........and others....I get claustrophobic, I get overwhelmed, I need to escape to my space and breath and purge all of the energy other than mine back onto the atmosphere away from me.

[girl_dee]

i love my space

i love the people i live with and being around them, but i love my very own space to just *be in* and i try to give them this too.

what i do not like is people who lack respect of privacy. I don't like having my physical or emotional boundaries crossed. (Unless your name is SYR)

Yah i like my own space to be in.

[RockOn]

I have no problem being in a crowd with one exception - Christmas shoppers are far too intense for me. There have been times I have been in a Mall before Christmas and had to literally run out of the Mall like a wide receiver - dodging and ducking. I have an affectionate nature and enjoy being touched/hugged by people I know and trust ... Like my 72 year old neighbor lady who moved next door a month ago. Sometimes she takes both my hands in hers when she talks to me. That feels really good to me.

I will say I become very rude in lines at the grocery store or places like WalMart if someone behind me bumps me more than once. Everyone gets the benefit of a "bump once" free card. After that, they will notice I have turned into an instant asshole, stand my space, capable of a nudge back. I never say a word. They will find they have no opportunity to look over my shoulder while I pay cashier. Years ago, I was at an ATM withdrawing cash - broad daylight. The fellow behind me was very close on my back. Before I punched in my secret code, I turned around, his face was very close to mine, looked at him hard directly in his eyes and told him to back off. He took 2 steps back and began ranting how he did not need my money because he had much more then me. I thought I would surely end up rolling there on the sidewalk with him, my body had already prepared itself and took over by hardening and bowing up ... adrenaline was flowing through my veins like hot lava. Thankfully nothing happened.

[Smiling]

What I have noticed about myself is that the more physically attracted I am to someone, the closer I will allow them to be in my personal space. With close friends, I will be okay with it occasionally, but typically only as long as is necessary.

lol, now that I think of it, it's actually probably a really easy way for someone to discreetly ascertain exactly where they stand with me. For instance, I have a coworker who really likes to get right up in my space a lot when we talk - we both do it - and it totally turns me on, lol. (And I always make sure I have plenty of interesting things that need to be discussed, lol).

As far as everyone else is concerned, I want room. Lots of it. And I hate it when people come up quietly behind me - I have an exaggerated startle reflex, so it pisses me off.

[Vivacious1]

I am definitely a personal space kinda girl. With everyone actually. If someone is too close it makes me nutty. I am not a long hugger or much of a cuddler either... Crowded spaces make me cringe and when someone makes me feel cornered it's not a good thing. :)

[MsTinkerbelly]

I am very quick to hug, but i can "tell" when a hug wouldn't be welcome and I'm good with that!

I love being in the middle of a group of friends/loved ones, and we can all sitthisclose and i'm in heaven. But.....get me in a crowd of strangers and i am moving toward the nearest exit before you can blink.

I need lots of me time, but personal space isn't needed unless it is a stranger.

[candy_coated_bitch]

I HATE HATE HATE people in my personal space. I have a very wide sphere of personal space, wider than most. Strangers in my space? Oh, hell no! I can't stand people behind me (it's a PTSD thing) and hate when people come up behind me in stores, or even when people I know startling me. I also hate lines, and especially those people who don't understand the concept of not breathing down your neck while standing behind you. I always give those people a dirty look and move away from them. Close talkers? Ew. I back away and back away and back away but close talkers don't tend to be hint takers I've found LOL.

I let only select people into my personal space. I have lots of friends I give hugs to upon seeing or leaving them--but I'm not very touchy feely with most of my friends beyond that. I'm not a cuddler unless it's a significant other or maybe one or two specific friends and then I am VERY affectionate.

That is all.

[kittygrrl]

Personal space has meant different things to me depending on my circumstances and the different places I've been. I lived in a commune where I had to share space and lived with lots of people and children all around me and set my mind to love it and it taught me many things. I've also had times in my life when I was very alone and was very comfortable just doing my own thing. I think where I am at right now is somewhere in the middle, sharing my space is definitely a good thing.

[Tuff Stuff]

Wondering if I'm just socially atypical............. What is the level of your need for personal space? Does the suggestion of "in your face" send an involuntary shiver up your spine? Do crowds ever overwhelm you? How do you feel about the person behind you in a que (how close is too close)? The hug from a mere acquaintance?

This is wholly apart from sexual intimacy - talking physical, personal space here; not even about emotional need for space. (That may be my next query!)

I usually don't stand next to crowds,gets me agitated on so many levels.Volence comes to mind when a rude person/s touches me while standing/walking/running by me in public,with no "excuse me".I absolutely hate elevators,unless i'm in there all by myself,then I love them.I dislike lines of people where I have to stand there with...mostly because my time is important.

I will hug people I like,but they have to be the ones to reach out first.

Home-I also like my space.Sometimes I need to drive alone or be alone at home.There is a bed in my home where I sleep alone...that ones a habit..I counted three 'alones'..*snort*

If I really take a liking to someone,i don't mind them standing next to me,maybe even brush up against me.Depends on who it is.Most times I don't like it when bio-males do this,unless I find him appealing,even then i don't like it,sometimes.

[Orema]

I like crowds and I like people. I don't have a problem with others standing behind nor around me. I'm touchy-feely and enjoy hugs but am hesitant to hug strangers and am respectful of others' space.

At the same time, I need a lot of time on my own—especially when I'm not feeling well. I really don't want to be bothered by anyone when I'm sick.

[Chad]

I like a lot of personal space. I don't like people standing too close to me. I do not like strangers hugging me. When my kitty passed lots of stangers including coworkers hugged me, not pleasent.

I don't like crowds or large groups. I like to spend a lot of my time alone with my pets. I don't even like living with people.

My family, close friends, and lovers are all welcome to get all up in my space. Haha!

Besically, it is my choice whether or not someone is allowed in my space.

:cowboy:

[MsTinkerbelly]

I am very quick to hug, but i can "tell" when a hug wouldn't be welcome and I'm good with that!

I love being in the middle of a group of friends/loved ones, and we can all sitthisclose and i'm in heaven. But.....get me in a crowd of strangers and i am moving toward the nearest exit before you can blink.

I need lots of me time, but personal space isn't needed unless it is a stranger.

Not much has changed, except I have become more like my mother with each passing year!

I used to be more reserved; not speaking to strangers for fear of rejection and not going to
unfamiliar places alone for the first time, which kept me from meeting some really nice people.

Now, I am THAT woman! The one that starts a conversation in a line, the one that brings the cookies to jury duty and sits in the circle laughing during break...boy have I changed, and I'm glad! Gone is the fear of what people think of me, gone is the need to not be seen in a crowd.

I wish I was this me 30 years ago.:pirate-steer:

[cinnamongrrl]

I've learned that personal space is an alternate reality in Asheville. I've had to let go of my personal space constraints while shopping and whenever I go downtown. I've also become more of a hugger.

I've always believed in personal evolution and I don't mind it so much most days. That doesn't mean I will necessarily go willingly to Trader Joe's on a weekend. Or any time after 3 pm any day of the week...

[JDeere]

Wondering if I'm just socially atypical............. What is the level of your need for personal space? Does the suggestion of "in your face" send an involuntary shiver up your spine? Do crowds ever overwhelm you? How do you feel about the person behind you in a que (how close is too close)? The hug from a mere acquaintance?

This is wholly apart from sexual intimacy - talking physical, personal space here; not even about emotional need for space. (That may be my next query!)

I'm bipolar and have OCD so personal space is a HUGE issue for me. I don't tend to like huge crowds but can deal with it. I don't like people behind me in line much either. I'm a bit afraid of my money or credit card Information being stolen. Yeah paranoid I know. Hugs however I am up for they tend to make me feel better. Now as for the sexual intimacy that's a whole other story.

[girl_dee]

This is a *touchy* (get it, touchy) subject for me.

i love my own space and time, but damn that can get lonely. So i only need it at times....

If you are a friend or family member of someone i love, i will likely hug you upon meeting....

if i don’t know you, i will likely not get close.

if we are on an elevator, stay away from my space

One thing i cannot tolerate is someone hovering over me to see what is in my plate while i am eating..... i had a co-worker who did this and i had to tell her it bugged me......

[~ocean]

This is a *touchy* (get it, touchy) subject for me.

i love my own space and time, but damn that can get lonely. So i only need it at times....

If you are a friend or family member of someone i love, i will likely hug you upon meeting....

if i don’t know you, i will likely not get close.

if we are on an elevator, stay away from my space

One thing i cannot tolerate is someone hovering over me to see what is in my plate while i am eating..... i had a co-worker who did this and i had to tell her it bugged me......

LOL Dee I agree w/ u in CROWDING personal space ~ as much as I do need my time I get lonely too ~ thank god for good pets !!! lol they keep me busy.

[cathexis]

Am not really a touchy-feely type of person. Much rather shake hands with a new acquaintance than rather than hug. One of my favorite places is in the middle of a crowd. You can be very much alone in a crowd rather than standing in a cue or either side of someone. I do not enjoy making small talk. Don't get me wrong, if there's a particular topic, I can contribute to the conversation without difficulty.

I prefer to either be alone or with an intimate other (s).