Jokes and things that made you laugh.

[Janstevie]

I went down to my local supermarket and I said: "I want to make a complaint. This vinegar's got lumps in it". He said: "Those are pickled onions."

[Janstevie]

can’t think of anything worse after a night of drinking than waking up next to someone and not being able to remember their name, or how you met, or why they’re dead.

[Cin]

http://cl.jroo.me/z3/C/B/F/d/a.aaa-Say-hello-to-my-little-frien.jpg

In an attempt to find new ways to keep guns in the hands of US citizens, various gun groups banned together to develop guns for pets. The tiny rodent rocket launcher series is very popular with the "Arms For Animals" crowd who believe, among other things, that the right to bear arms should include actual bears... as long as they are pets of course. We can't have the deer and the ducks shooting back now can we.

[kittygrrl]

http://siterepository.s3.amazonaws.com/2054_maxinequotes.jpg

[Janstevie]

Did you hear about the guy who got run over by a steam train? He was chuffed to bits.

[Orema]

How many software engineers does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They wouldn't do it. It's a hardware problem.

[Soft*Silver]

http://s2.quickmeme.com/img/78/782a39098bc6501556a37be9ca9684fc7df9b26f68b8af799a df2141145e333a.jpg

[Kätzchen]

can’t think of anything worse after a night of drinking than waking up next to someone and not being able to remember their name, or how you met, or why they’re dead.

Your jokes are so soooooo funny, JanStevie!
Next time you're here, would you post a few more???
Please and Thank you!!

---K---

[Kätzchen]

A DEA officer stopped at a ranch in Texas , and talked with an old rancher. He told the rancher, "I need to inspect your ranch for illegally grown drugs."
The rancher said, "Okay, but don't go in that field over
there.....", as he pointed out a distant location.

The DEA officer verbally exploded, saying, " Mister, I have the
authority of the Federal Government with me!"

Reaching into his rear pants pocket, he removed his badge
and proudly displayed it to the rancher.

"See this badge?! This badge means I am allowed to go
wherever I wish.... on ANY land!! No questions asked or
answers given!! Have I made myself clear...... do you understand???"


The rancher nodded politely, apoligised and went about his chores.

A short time later, the old rancher heard loud screams, looked up and saw the DEA officer running for his life, being chased by the rancher's enormous Santa Gertrudis bull......

With every step the bull was gaining ground on the officer, and it seemed likely that the officer would be gruesomely gored before he reached safety. The man was clearly terrified.
The rancher threw down his tools, ran to the fence and yelled at the top of his lungs.....

"Your badge........ show him your BADGE!!!





.

And, this joke too. Omg, so SOOO funny, LOL !!
This joke made me laugh so much that I shared it with friends, years ago and just like me, they laughed until their sides hurt, lol.

---K---

[Kätzchen]

“If you were a vegetable you’d be a Cutecumber,” said a parent to their child.

(I heard this last week while in line at the grocery store).