Am I the only one who hates Christmas time? (The Holidays in general) [Archive]

DapperButch

11-24-2010, 07:51 PM

This is the first year that I am not looking forward to it. I know it will be tough due to losing my father and maternal grandmother this year.

I am in the process of trying to figure out how to change things up this year for mom, starting a new tradition, or something. We are such a ritual type family...same meal on Christmas Eve, same Christmas breakfast every year, same rituals of opening gifts, singing Christmas Caroles in front of the video camera like a bunch of dorks, etc, for as long as I can remember. So, this year it will be sad and kind of sucky. Especially b/c my sister and her family won't be here.

There are a lot of people who struggle with the Holidays for one reason or another....or just simply get annoyed by the whole thing.... So no, you are not alone!

katsarecool

11-24-2010, 07:53 PM

You are not alone!!! It is frustrating especially if a person is financially strapped for money or not a Christian. I never remember happy holidays as a child. And when I was a young mother I would start worrying about buying for my kids in Sept. They on the other hand remember Christmas as a very happy time.

I now do what I can for my grandkids and hope for the best.

MysticOceansFL

11-24-2010, 08:01 PM

I don't like or dislike christmas it's just another day to me but if I were in a relationship I would give gift's to my partner.

Soon

11-24-2010, 08:53 PM

You're not the only one.

I have managed to avoid immediate *family* gatherings for years thanks to people with whom I would rather spend my time.

AtLast

11-24-2010, 09:15 PM

I don't hate the holiday "season" per se, but, it isn't all that happy of a time for me. Since the deaths of key family, it just has a sad edge to it for me. Although, I do enjoy getting together with the family I have left and especially the kid and his kids!

I don't have a Christian-based take on Christmas, really anymore (have a hodgepodge of personal spiritual beliefs). That left me long ago. I do have some spiritual feelings and rituals around it (I do decorate but, view this from a more Pagan interpretation), however, but not Christian. Although, I will attend midnight Mass with family members that this has meaning for, especially elders. It isn't about me, it is about them.

I know people that have horrible and painful family of origin issues that the holidays make even harder for them. This makes me sad (and angry) and also more aware of how much I have to be grateful for in the family I do have.

Our community probably has many members that don't have a great time with the cluster of mainly Christian holidays this time of year.

Rockinonahigh

11-24-2010, 09:33 PM

I really dont dislike the hollidays,I do celebrate them with my son,my chosen family ect.But,for some reason I feel a bit like the kid looking from outside wishing he was inside.Many key family have passed over he years so the family isnt all that big anymore,we use to have some fun times before.I do decorate but am more pegan than christian,I have ceramic christmas trees mom and my aunt made that light up..they are put on the top of the intertainment center with other christmas decos,cards and stockings.This year im planting a blue spruce in the yard in memorie of my lost family.at the moment its in a huge pot till my son can dig a hole for it.Then I will plant it,pray over it for blessing for a new year with better health and happyness for everyone.

Glenn

11-24-2010, 09:38 PM

No temporary holiday really taught me to love , worship, and adore, my God, The Holy Mother, and Jesus like I do. They only taught me about temporary appearances, materialism, and traditions of men. I've always tried to hide from them, but I do not hate them. I like to see folks enjoying themselves... I did too when I was a stupid kid...

Blade

11-24-2010, 10:45 PM

DomnNC

11-24-2010, 11:15 PM

I don't hate the holidays. I do hate the hustle and bustle of it all and I hate that it is so commercialized. I mean as soon as the labor day stuff comes down you start seeing Christmas stuff in the stores. As Halloween passes, then the full blown Christmas department is erected. We have a radio station in Charlotte that starts playing ONLY Christmas music on Nov 1 and that is all it plays until after Christmas.

Omg, I hate that station!!! lol ... I'd like to find their tower and kinda cripple it ya know.

I'm with you, I can't stand seeing Christmas stuff out right after Halloween, even the day after Thanksgiving, geez, let's celebrate one holiday fully and savor it a bit before rushing to the next. When I was a kid, we'd all pile onto the trailer hooked to the tractor or in the back of my Daddy's pickup and we'd go thru the woods searching for a tree, cut it down, bring it home and put it up 2 that's TWO weeks before Christmas. Hmm, maybe cuz Mama couldn't stand us being that all that hyper excited more than 2 weeks before Christmas. Do you think us asking every morning (afternoon and night) if this was the night Santa was coming had anything to do with it?

Gabriella

11-25-2010, 01:16 AM

When I was 12 yrs. old I had a Christmas program at school, I was singing a solo in Latin (Catholic girl here). My father was usually not in the same country as we were during the holidays, however that particular holiday we were all in Germany. I remember looking out into the 1st row and seeing my daddy smiling at me, and I could feel his love, the next evening he was dead car accident it was December 10th. That Christmas obviously was very hard for my family. That Christmas I learned alot about loss, pain, etc, but I also learned about the magic of Christmas and the kindness of strangers. I hope I didn't throw the thread off, wasn't my intention..

iamkeri1

11-25-2010, 01:29 AM

Oh Man I hate that constant Christmas carol crap. Sets my teeth on edge The station I always listened to does that. This year I have found a different station that I like. I hope they don't have the same policy.

Starting on my late hubby's b'day in late November through the anniversary of his death near the end of December is a really hard time for me even though it has been seven years now since his death. This last year, after all this time, I have finally started to feel "like myself" again, though kind of a "new myself." Christmas card sending bit the dust along the way, so I try to send out some kind of letter in the spring to let family members know how I am doing. I do some decorating, but not like I used to, and if it weren't for my kids, I would probably have stopped doing that. For the last little while, I have been dating someone who loves the holidays, so I will try to not be sad for hys sake, but we are long distance and will not be spending this time together. Hopefully by next year at this time we will be together, and I will be able to share hys excitement.

I used to really love the Holidays, and miss that feeling of excitement and anticipation that went with it.

You do the best you can is all I can say.
Smooches,
KeriI don't hate the holidays. I do hate the hustle and bustle of it all and I hate that it is so commercialized. I mean as soon as the labor day stuff comes down you start seeing Christmas stuff in the stores. As Halloween passes, then the full blown Christmas department is erected. We have a radio station in Charlotte that starts playing ONLY Christmas music on Nov 1 and that is all it plays until after Christmas.

Tcountry

11-25-2010, 01:48 AM

*sly grinning*
I LOVE the "holidays" ...it is not about Buying things or Decorating...
It is supposed to be about the Spirit of Giving...
Giving time, giving a hand, helping out, ...whatever giving of yourself more than you normally do on any other day...
So if you are bah-humbugging the holidays...go volunteer your time at a shelter/soup kitchen/hospital for one day/evening/meal.
Throw away the negative energy and memories and Create positive experiences...

ravfem

11-25-2010, 03:25 AM

*glaring at Tcountry* :badmood: Bah hum to the bug!

i really could hibernate from about now til January 1 or so with no issues what-so-ever.

It has nothing to do with commercialization, etc. i just don't care for the holidays. At all.

i was with someone for 5 years that LOVES the holidays. She baked for weeks, decorated, gift wrapped, listened to the music, etc. i barely tolerated them during that time and tried hard to hide my grumpiness so that she could enjoy the season. Yuck.

:pirate-steer::badmood::annoyed:

Besides, why not volunteer exactly the same the rest of the year as during Dec? Why not take some new toys to a shelter through-out the year, for birthdays? And goodness knows they would appreciate the extra canned food in summer as much as winter, right?

Tcountry

11-25-2010, 03:49 AM

Good Spirit rav...giving all year round...Now you're on the page!! *GRIN*

:byebye:

Daddy Raven

11-25-2010, 04:06 AM

I actually love Christmas but there are many things about it that I hate, like the crazy crowds and the hollow commercialism. Seeing my family around the Holidays can be very difficult because they are homophobic and abusive. I just try to make the best of it by allowing myself to enjoy the things I do like about Christmas, like the food, being with my friends, and seeing all of the pretty lights and decorations.

cuddlyfemme

11-25-2010, 05:14 AM

I like parts of Christmas like the decorations and the lights. What I don't like about Christmas is having a day where you have to give a gift...I'd much rather give a gift during the year to someone just because I see something they'd like and for the reason of "just because". I'm also financially strapped this year so this will make it a bit difficult. Spending the holidays with my family is never something I look forward to as they treat me like a 2nd class citizen.

girl_dee

11-25-2010, 05:53 AM

NO you are not alone.!! i don't get it, I don't understand it.. I don't wanna be near it.

Do people even know what Christmas is supposed to actually BE? Being raised Catholic I always thought Easter was MUCH more important.. I mean anyone can be born (well not to a Virgin I suppose) but rising from the dead is wow, now that is impressive.

I can't stand the whole thing! If you want a day to present each other with gifts that most can't afford, or to exchange gift cards, to give credit to a fat guy in a red suit who broke into your home and leaves stuff under a dead tree, and have family who don't even like each other gather around to do what they feel is obligation then do it, just don't do it in the name of religion!

/rant

diamondrose

11-25-2010, 06:41 AM

This time of year is myfavorite time of year. From Halloween thru New years. I just love the cooler weather, the leaves changing, and the smell of burning wood in fireplaces.

Ebon

11-25-2010, 07:02 AM

I don't like most Christian holidays because they were stolen from Pagans and Christianized (if that's a word lol). I don't like the pressure to buy people stuff, it all seems like people are tricked into this "spirit of giving" and companies profit from it. This spirit of giving should be all of the time. I do like the time that people get to spend together and hang out with their families. Even though the Native people on this continent got screwed after Thanksgiving I prefer it over Christmas any day.

Cowboi

11-25-2010, 07:28 AM

The holidays just haven't been the same since my Momma died 17 years ago. I love the fall, the changing leaves, cool crisp days and nights, bonfires.
I have been on call Thanksgiving day just about every year since 1993 so that others with families can spend time together.
My BFF is on in house call today, I am going to meet her for lunch @ the hospital.

Hospitals make you hate the holidays also. I worked till 8:30 last night. We will be slammed through the 1st of the year.

Happy Holidays everyone...

princessbelle

11-25-2010, 07:41 AM

I would certainly agree that the holidays can bring pain as well as happiness.

My family keeps getting smaller...my dad dying 12 years ago and now my brother just a few weeks ago. It is a reminder that things are not the same. It is a reminder that place settings at the table are missing and the voices and laughter of years past are now just memories. This is hard to face and this is hard to swollow.

But, it is memories that get me through it. I believe there is also a lot of good things to see this time of year.

Even though charities are "open for buisness" all year, they are way more apparent around this time. "Coats for the cold" for example have hit a record high this season so far for the amount of coats being donated. The "Salvation Army" who i totally support get most of their donations from now until Christmas that keeps them going all year.

People have different reasons for dreading, disliking holidays. Just thought I'd share what makes them painful for *me* and to also share what I believe to be a wonderful reason to also be "thankful" they are around.

Hugz to all those who have a difficult time with all the holidays for whatever reason there is.....:rrose:

Miss Scarlett

11-25-2010, 08:03 AM

I dread the holidays more than hate them.

For the last 20+ years I have worked in family law. Nearly every holiday, summer vacation and weekend bring escalated conflict over children.

It's always about power and control. The party behaving badly is either blind to the effect on the children or they just don't care - sometimes both. They decide that their interpretation of the Court's order is gospel. Never mind that the order reads "The minor children will spend the name your holiday with Parent A in even numbered years and with Parent B in odd numbered years." It's 2010 (obviously and EVEN numbered year) and Parent B declares the children will be with them and Parent A will just have to get over it.

ravfem

11-25-2010, 10:41 AM

Good Spirit rav...giving all year round...Now you're on the page!! *GRIN*

:byebye:

You know, your positive attitude is just wrong, T!!

So, i was thinking about it more and decided i needed some balance, so here...

Since becoming an adult and deciding for myself where & with whom i'd spend the holidays around, there have been some nice ones (i hate to admit it). i remember one thanksgiving with a friend's family....they all went around and said what each person was thankful for. That was cool.

And the aforementioned ex....one year for xmas dinner, she made a....can't remember the name of it.....it was like a low country boil, but in a red sauce.

Our Leather Family was there, and we all wore garbage bags as bibs. That was fun....a lot of fun. i have a picture of that somewhere....

And each year the Family gets together in Dec for a celebration. This year we'll be bringing a new member (and an old friend to most of us) into the clan. i look forward to that.

i really don't like hearing people say they "have" to go to a family get together even if they don't want to, just because it's family and what they do.

Everyone should have the personal freedom to do what they *want* to do, not what's expected of them.

And do it free of guilt!! And with no excuses or even explanations....

"no mama/granny/whoever, i wont be making it this year, but i'll see you soon, ok!" Took me several years of practice, but i was able to finally start doing that. It was GREAT!

:hippie:

Tcountry

11-25-2010, 11:40 AM

It's not wrong to be so positive *playful jaw drop*
True tho EVERYTHING is a choice...you chose what you do and with who...
So all in all You make the holiday what you want it to be...
soooo of course be positive and create some more GOOD memories
...even if you are being silly with friends...(or in my case this year, coworkers)...*grin*

Life is what you make it...holidays too are what you choose to make them.
Have a Great Thanksgiving...& plan some Fun for the rest of them this year!
:vigil:

HoneyedChrysanthemum

12-04-2010, 06:28 PM

i don't celebrate xmas or any other christian holiday,since i am not christian. i was raised pagan and am now buddhist/taoist, like my my femme sis, Lady Wu. all of my friends know this and do not ask me to any xmas or other christian functions. i will join others in their celebrations of pagan, heathen, jewish, buddhist, taoist holidays, essentially i will join in the holiday of any faith that is not exclusive. unfortunately, most christian denominations are exclusive: they believe that unless you are christian, you are going to hell, a concept that i do not subscribe to.
i really dislike being subjected to xmasxmasxmas from just about the end of all hallow's eve til the beginning of the new year. xmas carols on every station, xmas decorations in every shop window, xmas charity requests in every batch of mail....enough to make a normally even-tempered grrl want to scream! of course, i accept that this is price i must pay for living in a nominally christian country. and i do mean PRICE and PAY! i often wonder how truly religiously observant christians feel about the buybuybuy, spendspendspend commertialization of the date (really in the spring, this date was atake-over of the God Saturn) of the birth of their founder? do the number of the faithful to Jesus equal the number of the faithful in church on xmas eve/xmas equal the number of the faithful to money in the malls beforehand?
i was married to someone who really went all out for xmas and every other christian holidayfor many years, even though hy knew i was not christian. (hy had kept this hidden from me til AFTER we married and moved in together.) and guess who had to do all the decorating, xmas shopping, cooking, etc? right-me, the wife! hy even insisted that i decorate the LOBBY of the apt building where we lived! aaaargh! i don't mind CHRISTANS celebrating xmas, but why must hy inflict it upon me? if i never wrap another door in red, green, white and hang a wreath (a pagan/heathen custom, btw), it will not be too soon for me!
so, ravfem, i agree with your posts!
pres :moonstars:

bigbutchmistie

12-04-2010, 06:42 PM

Growing up Christmas wasnt celebrated with me, so when I met my biological mom we used to go all out with presents, spending time together, baking etc. When she died, well its back to being alone. I help charities but its still not the same, I HATE Christmas :)

http://i147.photobucket.com/albums/r306/srtipsy26/The-Grinch.jpg

Apocalipstic

12-04-2010, 06:48 PM

I am traumatized at the very thought

girl_dee

12-04-2010, 07:22 PM

Blade

12-04-2010, 07:28 PM

this time should symbolize peace and love..

instead it stresses me out.. the airports, the family drama and then the pressure to buy people who already have way too much of everything a present! Seeing family then feeling guilty for leaving them again.. ugh..

Since you mentioned this Sassy, several years back when I was wanting for and needing for nothing, Nannie asked me about Christmas and I told her I didn't need a thing. I asked her to make a donation to the women's shelter for me for Christmas. She did that for several years and then demanded that she wanted to do something for me. So I told her to give me a Guidepost subscription so that is what she did each year since then. I guess I'll have to buy my own subscription this year.

girl_dee

12-04-2010, 07:32 PM

Since you mentioned this Sassy, several years back when I was wanting for and needing for nothing, Nannie asked me about Christmas and I told her I didn't need a thing. I asked her to make a donation to the women's shelter for me for Christmas. She did that for several years and then demanded that she wanted to do something for me. So I told her to give me a Guidepost subscription so that is what she did each year since then. I guess I'll have to buy my own subscription this year.

Great idea.. I am normally way more in the spirit of giving to those who need it than this.. spent many Christmas' at AIDS shelters or Childrens Hospital and one year hauling quadriplegics to their loved ones in the snow..

Sure beats exchanging gift cards in total chaos.