Sexual Orientation......Who does or does not have one?

[kix4funchick]

I was just curious about the whole sexual orientation thing. I have been going back and forth between pansexual and polysexual. Then I found out about Pomosexual. I like Pomosexual a whole lot better because it basically means that I do not have a sexual orientation at all. I don't feel like I should have to label myself as anything because I know what I like and that's that. I mean I'm like 10000000% attracted to female bodied people and like 0.000001/4% attracted to male bodied people. So therefore I do not feel comfortable with any of the sexual orientation labels that are out there.

What about you? Do you have a sexual orientation? If so, what is it?

[Kobi]

Just when I catch up with the vernacular, I find there is even more!

I like this concept and it seems fitting for a new generation that has far more options, opportunities, and freedoms.
With fluid sexuality, fluid gender etc. becoming so popular, it makes sense for there to be a
new label for something continuing to develop and expand.

And it makes sense to be able to explore sexuality without having to label oneself as this or that.

I'm not too thrilled with the name tho. Postmodern sounds too clinical.
And Pomosexual makes me think of someone who like sex with pomeranians.

There must be a better thing to call it.

[Soft*Silver]

I am a heterosexual. I happen to have sex with male ID'd people, whether they are male or female. I do not date femmes. I do not like to date femininzed people. Male or female. When I am in a relationship I am definitely heterosexual. The genitals have nothing to do with it. The lifestyle does.

phooey. I am just so sick of labels and what I am. You wanna know what I am? All I can definitely say is I am a femme. Everything else is subject to contemporary cultural clash. Frankly, I fuck everyone. I fall in love with special ones. I relate heterosexually from the 1950s.

Pomeranian sex made me snort my coca cola out my nose...lol...

[swagger]

I made some tshirts saying "pomosexual - because labels suck and not in a good way"

Mostly I'm something of a pomophobe though. To me, labels are language and language is labels..

I define my sexual orientation as any and all of the following: gay, queer, lesbian, dyke

[kix4funchick]

Just when I catch up with the vernacular, I find there is even more!

I like this concept and it seems fitting for a new generation that has far more options, opportunities, and freedoms.
With fluid sexuality, fluid gender etc. becoming so popular, it makes sense for there to be a
new label for something continuing to develop and expand.

And it makes sense to be able to explore sexuality without having to label oneself as this or that.

I'm not too thrilled with the name tho. Postmodern sounds too clinical.
And Pomosexual makes me think of someone who like sex with pomeranians.

There must be a better thing to call it.



Yeah, that's true. Haha, sex with pomeranians. I said the word out loud to myself and I too hate the way it sounds. We should make up a different word for it. I just like what it means. I don't like labels, but I'm mostly a lesbian although there is a very slight chance that I would even consider being with a guy again (like under 1/4 chance of it happening). But yeah, there has to be a better word for somebody who doesn't feel like they should have to label themselves.

[LipstickLola]

How about "Human". Radical, I know.




Thank you :D

[atomiczombie]

I have an orientation. It's femmesensual and queer. Femmesensual means my primary attraction is to femmes. Not straight women. I claim queer because I have little in common with straight people. I just can't relate to them, and I can relate very much to queer-idenitfied folks.

[Soft*Silver]

I am glad you explained femmesensual because I thought you had been femme and were transitioning to masculine. No, I am not kidding. And I am not being derogatory. I kept silent because I didnt want to offend and I have this disdain about labels so I didnt want to ask because I was not going to ever use it in my every day life even if I knew what it was. I thought it had to do with your transitioning FtM ...that you also had to transition from femme to masculine. One of the FtMs I dated had presented as a femme lesbian for years before transitioning. I thought thats what this meant...am I explaining myself?

[PumaJ]

I've always been sexually oriented toward Butches. Just as I have always been Femme.

There is just something about the way a Butch runs such strong male energy in a female form that rocks my world. I've pondered about the ID of Lesbian. I mean, technically I'm attracted to other women. But in reality, Butch as a gender is not really a woman, nor a man. Adding Femme to Lesbian is sort of helpful, but Queer is just making more and more sense.

I feel zero sexual attraction to women who are not Butch. That doesn't mean I couldn't be sexual with them, because I have been in friends with benefits types of situations, on a couple of occasions. But I am not sexually attracted by such women, so I would not seek out sexual interactions with them.

[AtLast]

Simply put, lesbian.

[Nat]

I tend to veer away from labels with the word "sexual" in them. Sexuality is obviously a big part of orientation, but I've just gotten too tired of people who deny our rights reducing us to sex. Those who would deny our rights tend to be pretty obsessed with what happens between our sheets. My orientation involves what happens between the sheets, but it also involves what happens in my heart. Also, in my own process of figuring out my orientation, I kept trying to figure it out through sex. If I'd let my heart lead and trusted the sex would be awesome, it would have taken me down a much shorter road to the "aha".

[Quintease]

I would have said 100% lesbian, only then I met my bf.

Now I'd say 75% lesbian and 25% transsensual.

[LediskoLove99]

Lesbian. Although I do find myself attracted to guys, just not in the same way I am with women. I'm mean I'm gay not blind haha.

[Lynn]

I don't mind labels, as long as I get to pick my own, based on what they mean to me.

I'm perfectly comfortable with lesbian. I'd say that lesbian really fits me. Dyke is OK, too. I'm attracted to women, especially women who are more masculine and who are comfortable with that in themselves. I love butches, but I wouldn't say that I have embraced the identity of "femme."

[Venus007]

I like queer, it has a nice ring to it and it is only just a little bit of a letter away from queen. ;)

I am attracted to all sorts of genders and sexualities, mostly female bodied but not necessarily so. I tend to be attracted to people's energies and carriage and that je ne sais qua, most of the time they are female bodied but there is an occasional male tossed in about every 20 years.

[Lynn]

Just want to add that it concerns me not at all that I have been attracted to men and was married to a man for 20 years. Having the occasional attraction to someone, regardless of gender, does not confuse me or make me any less confident in my identity as a lesbian.

[Chazz]

I have an orientation. It's femmesensual and queer. Femmesensual means my primary attraction is to femmes. Not straight women. I claim queer because I have little in common with straight people. I just can't relate to them, and I can relate very much to queer-idenitfied folks.

Love the term "femme-sensual". Guess that makes me a "femme-sensual", butch.

I don't date straight women, either; I have little in common with them, too. It's been interesting trying to convey that to straight women (at dating sites) who contact me for a walk on the down-low.

Being a lesbian is NOT just about who I desire sexually, it's also a world view born of a lived experience as not straight, bi, trans~, etc.. A shared world view/commonality of experience is what adds to the intimacy for me.

[Chazz]

I don't mind labels, as long as I get to pick my own, based on what they mean to me.

I'm perfectly comfortable with lesbian. I'd say that lesbian really fits me. Dyke is OK, too. I'm attracted to women, especially women who are more masculine and who are comfortable with that in themselves. I love butches, but I wouldn't say that I have embraced the identity of "femme."

I tend to label as butch identified, and sexual. Although I am pegged as "masculine" by everyone, I prefer to identify as "butch" when the situation allows because I am not male identified.

Saying I'm butch-identified provides an opportunity to dispel, the still pervasive myth, that all butches are "male-wannabes". That exact term has been repeated to me so often (most recently at dating sites) by straight and bi women, AND LESBIANS, I clarify at first contact. It's surprising how many people see still confuse gender-presentation with gender identification

[Elijah]

Queer...allows room for growth and change.

[Martina]

Even though my first sexual dream was about a woman, i started out straight, which was not satisfactory. Like many dykes, i couldn't see what all the fuss was about. i mean men were fine. The sex was good, but i'd rather be with my friends. Finally figured that one out.

For a few years i was a happy dyke. Then my libido went sorta flat. Meeting a hot butch who knew the dance changed all that. From there, i ID'd as femme as well as lesbian.

My mid-life crisis changed a lot about my life. i moved, changed careers, etc. i also dated a couple transmen in a row and rediscovered femmes. i am a dyke and a femme. But my sexual orientation isn't all about butches anymore. Currently, i am in service to a butch-femme couple.

Rediscovering femmes has been a joy. i dated one maybe five years ago who made me feel butch. That didn't last. But the two i have been in service to made me feel more feminine and more like a girl, not less. i can't do without that. i have the privilege of serving the feminine body and spirit. It's hot. Damned hot. i still like butches too. Life is good.

[turasultana]

Queer Femme

that's what fits me best.

[Heart]

I don't date straight women, either; I have little in common with them, too. It's been interesting trying to convey that to straight women (at dating sites) who contact me for a walk on the down-low.

Being a lesbian is NOT just about who I desire sexually, it's also a world view born of a lived experience as not straight, bi, trans~, etc.. A shared world view/commonality of experience is what adds to the intimacy for me.

Chazz - Contact you for a "walk" on the DL? Wow. How objectifying. *shakes head*

I was gonna say what Chazz said here, not about str8 women - lol, but that being a lesbian is more than my romantic/erotic/sexual orientation. It's about the community and history I resonate with, the issues & politics I embrace, its part of my identity.

Heart

[Martina]

i am culturally a lesbian too, but it's such a generational thing. Young dykes do not know the history, musicians, and books i do -- for the most part. i do not know their references.

i was on chat a while ago, and several of us older dykes were made to feel like fossils when the younguns had never heard of Rubyfruit Jungle.

i do have shared life and cultural experiences that make me a lesbian, but mostly with other lesbians of my generation.

[wolfbittenpoet]

Queerer then queer duck

[Soon]

Queer Femme

that's what fits me best.

What Tura said.