Shit Heard Around this House!!

[shadows papa]

Hello Everyone!
I'm not sure if there is a thread for this or not, but I'm starting a new one anyways! Please feel free to add comments, stories, quips, quotes or just plain ole smartass things that get said in your household! I'll start it off..

Me: "The fan on this computer is loud, I'm gonna take the back off and clean it"

Miss Pink: (as I am taking screws loose off the back of the computer) "Just remember you are a PTA not a computer dude"

Me: "Parts is parts,right??"

Miss Pink just covered her eyes and shook her head :byebye:

[princessbelle]

Hello Everyone!
I'm not sure if there is a thread for this or not, but I'm starting a new one anyways! Please feel free to add comments, stories, quips, quotes or just plain ole smartass things that get said in your household! I'll start it off..

Me: "The fan on this computer is loud, I'm gonna take the back off and clean it"

Miss Pink: (as I am taking screws loose off the back of the computer) "Just remember you are a PTA not a computer dude"

Me: "Parts is parts,right??"

Miss Pink just covered her eyes and shook her head :byebye:


I can so TOTALLY see that happening.

Too funny.

For sure I will be posting here.

Great thread!!!!!

[girl_dee]

yup I actually have a log going of things we hear around this house.

One Butch Daddi and two femme girls make for some very interesting stuff!

[princessbelle]

This convo just happened.....

Belle: How's it going?
Snack: Good just trying to get past the man eating flower.
Belle: Oh gosh. Now what is that on your back, a baby?
Snack: Yeah he helps me when i need him.

~pause.

Belle: now what's that purple thing?
Snack: I'm not sure but it's not good. It will try and eat me if i get too close to it.

[TickledPink]

Me: Here's what we are having for dinner tonight. Herb roasted pork tenderloin with herbs de provence, after it cooks I'll let it rest for 10 minutes then add the cranberry chutney.

Shad: It's gotta rest? Is it tired from the oven??? :seeingstars:

[Gemme]

Me: How was the cup 'o noodles? As bad as you remembered?

Organic: No, it wasn't that bad, once I spiced it up.

Me: Oh, what did you use?

Organic: Butter.

Me: Butter's not a spice! It's lard. :blink:

Organic: Okay, then it's spicy lard. :sunglass:

[scootebaby]

a little background--we have a mini dachshund that tends to forget where doggie door is

(2:30am) i am awakened by what sounds like a low whining noise

ME:dammit Shadow(the dog) you can go outside yourself
(louder whining)

Me: (louder as im throwing covers off of me) for the love of God Shadow,ur such a pain in my ass

Jo: (sleepily) honey Shadow isnt in here,it must be me snoring

Me: then roll over

Jo: that doesnt really help yanno

ME: then get some damn Breathe Right strips or something

Jo: i told you those dont help

Me: (under my breath) and you wonder why im so cranky all the time--i never get any sleep around here)

Jo: what honey?

Me: nothing--go back to sleep

[lipstixgal]

a little background--we have a mini dachshund that tends to forget where doggie door is

(2:30am) i am awakened by what sounds like a low whining noise

ME:dammit Shadow(the dog) you can go outside yourself
(louder whining)

Me: (louder as im throwing covers off of me) for the love of God Shadow,ur such a pain in my ass

Jo: (sleepily) honey Shadow isnt in here,it must be me snoring

Me: then roll over

Jo: that doesnt really help yanno

ME: then get some damn Breathe Right strips or something

Jo: i told you those dont help

Me: (under my breath) and you wonder why im so cranky all the time--i never get any sleep around here)

Jo: what honey?

Me: nothing--go back to sleep

That's funny maybe JO should go for a sleep study and see if its sleep apnea!!

[JustJo]

That's funny maybe JO should go for a sleep study and see if its sleep apnea!!

Jo: Honey, Lips thinks I should go for a sleep study

Scoote (grumbling): Why the hell should you go for the study?

Jo: Well why not?

Scoote (still grumbling): Cuz I'm the one that doesn't get any damn sleep.

:blink:

[Gemme]

a little background--we have a mini dachshund that tends to forget where doggie door is

(2:30am) i am awakened by what sounds like a low whining noise

ME:dammit Shadow(the dog) you can go outside yourself
(louder whining)

Me: (louder as im throwing covers off of me) for the love of God Shadow,ur such a pain in my ass

Jo: (sleepily) honey Shadow isnt in here,it must be me snoring

Me: then roll over

Jo: that doesnt really help yanno

ME: then get some damn Breathe Right strips or something

Jo: i told you those dont help

Me: (under my breath) and you wonder why im so cranky all the time--i never get any sleep around here)

Jo: what honey?

Me: nothing--go back to sleep

As someone who has periods of being sleep-deprived due to partner snoring, thwap her upside the head with a nice fluffy pillow.

I don't know if it would help, but it sure makes me feel better. :blink:

[scootebaby]

As someone who has periods of being sleep-deprived due to partner snoring, thwap her upside the head with a nice fluffy pillow.

I don't know if it would help, but it sure makes me feel better. :blink:


lmao...i'll have to try that bc the elbow in the ribs doesnt really work :lol2:

[Leigh]

Jo: Honey, Lips thinks I should go for a sleep study

Scoote (grumbling): Why the hell should you go for the study?

Jo: Well why not?

Scoote (still grumbling): Cuz I'm the one that doesn't get any damn sleep.

:blink:


Geez someone's getting ornery in their old age aren't they? :|

[scootebaby]

JO: Santa got the "family" a silly gift
Rooster: (excitedly) what? what did Santa get us?
JO: i dont know im not santa
Rooster: uhhh yes you are!

[JoSchmooze]

I got home about noon on Friday from Milwaukee....as I'm stripping off clothes
(layers from coming from sub zero weather to 75 degrees) the door bell rings.....
I put a tee shirt back on and answer the door....dude standing there...

Me: Can I help you?
Him: Is the RV in the yard for sale?
Me: Do you see a FOR SALE sign on it?
Him: No, but I thought it couldn't hurt to ask.
Me: If there isn't a FOR SALE sign that usually means something ain't for sale!
Him: How about not moving it and renting it out where it stands?
Me: I don't think so.....Nope, not in a million years!

Door slam!!

:cigar2::cigar2::cigar2:

[Gemme]

Geez someone's getting ornery in their old age aren't they? :|

That's what happens with sleep deprivation.

Murder becomes a VERY reasonable solution if one has not had enough sleep.

[TickledPink]

Papa, commenting on a question I can't repeat: "Cause if I had a submissive bone in my body I'd pull it out and beat it with a belt."

[Soft*Silver]

are you STILL getting drop ins about that RV? Put a sign on it that says "NO! I AM NOT FOR SALE!" already! LOL


I got home about noon on Friday from Milwaukee....as I'm stripping off clothes
(layers from coming from sub zero weather to 75 degrees) the door bell rings.....
I put a tee shirt back on and answer the door....dude standing there...

Me: Can I help you?
Him: Is the RV in the yard for sale?
Me: Do you see a FOR SALE sign on it?
Him: No, but I thought it couldn't hurt to ask.
Me: If there isn't a FOR SALE sign that usually means something ain't for sale!
Him: How about not moving it and renting it out where it stands?
Me: I don't think so.....Nope, not in a million years!

Door slam!!

:cigar2::cigar2::cigar2:

[Jess]

I got home about noon on Friday from Milwaukee....as I'm stripping off clothes
(layers from coming from sub zero weather to 75 degrees) the door bell rings.....
I put a tee shirt back on and answer the door....dude standing there...

Me: Can I help you?
Him: Is the RV in the yard for sale?
Me: Do you see a FOR SALE sign on it?
Him: No, but I thought it couldn't hurt to ask.
Me: If there isn't a FOR SALE sign that usually means something ain't for sale!
Him: How about not moving it and renting it out where it stands?
Me: I don't think so.....Nope, not in a million years!

Door slam!!

:cigar2::cigar2::cigar2:



LMAO! We have a 74 Chevy Cheyenne under the carport that has been sitting there torn apart for about 12 years and get folks stopping by weekly asking if it is for sale. Dear lord folks.. give it a rest!

PS.. Don't even ask why it is there.. LONG ass crazy momma story..

PSS.. We are looking for a small RV if ya ever change your mind! ha!

[shadows papa]

Me: (while showing Miss Pink my thumb) It's still got a big knot on it, I don't understand"

Miss Pink: "I do. Ya broke the damn thing and then didn't take proper care of it!"

Me: "Oh yeah,there is that..." :doh:

[Jesse]

Me: Bear, I wish you would stop leaving your balls all over this house!

Bear: :|

Disclaimer: Bear is my dog.

[scootebaby]

ME: Honey you are not gonna believe this
Jo: what?
Me: there is something living in my car
Jo: oh my gosh..really? why do u think that?
Me: Something or someone ate TWO of my chocolate Entenmann donuts
Jo: was the box gnawed thru or opened
Me: opened
Jo: was ur car unlocked?
Me: *snickering* no
Jo: wait a minute--r u serious???
Me: no :cracked:

thought i was gonna wreck the car i was laffin so hard

[diamondrose]

Talking to a good friend of mine from Norway on voice..

Me: Whats your address?
Her: you are lazy!!
Me: Oh wait, I have it here on the customs form for your package. How do you say that street name??.. slowly..
Her: ((she pronounces it))
Me: ((attempts to pronounce it)) i am never going to learn how to speak norweigen!!
Her: you have to pronounce the norwiegen "R" roll the "R" like this ..rrrrrr
Me: well thats not going to happen.. there is nothing vibrating about my tongue.. its out of practice !!

a small pause.. we brust out laughing!!

[princessbelle]

Walking into Living Room sees Snack standing there perplexed and in deep thought.

me.... What's wrong?

Snack....nothing i just can't believe she is pregnant too.

me...WHO she....what?

Snack...the blonde girl honey.

silence


me....What BLONDE girl.

Snack....the one on there (points to tv)

walks out giggling bout Him and His "All my children" soap opera.

geeze.

:sunglass:

[JustJo]

ME: Honey you are not gonna believe this
Jo: what?
Me: there is something living in my car
Jo: oh my gosh..really? why do u think that?
Me: Something or someone ate TWO of my chocolate Entenmann donuts
Jo: was the box gnawed thru or opened
Me: opened
Jo: was ur car unlocked?
Me: *snickering* no
Jo: wait a minute--r u serious???
Me: no :cracked:

thought i was gonna wreck the car i was laffin so hard

Of course, if you could see the interior of Scoote's car, you'd understand why this is completely likely... :sunglass:

[Gemme]

Walking into Living Room sees Snack standing there perplexed and in deep thought.

me.... What's wrong?

Snack....nothing i just can't believe she is pregnant too.

me...WHO she....what?

Snack...the blonde girl honey.

silence


me....What BLONDE girl.

Snack....the one on there (points to tv)

walks out giggling bout Him and His "All my children" soap opera.

geeze.

:sunglass:

:blink:

Who's pregnant?

I may or may not used to watch AMC.

[JustJo]

Laying in bed, Scoote's arms around me...snuggling...

Jo: I swept up that dead lizard on the kitchen floor

Scoote: You could have just left it for me honey

Jo: I didn't want the Prince to step on it when he got home from school

Scoote: Did you just pick it up by the tail?

Jo: Ick! No, I used a dust pan and just swept it up

snuggling....

Scoote: So now it's in the kitchen garbage?

Jo: Yep

more snuggling...

Scoote: Why don't you just pick it up by the tail and toss it outside?

Jo: Hey, you get rid of dead lizards your way and I'll get rid of them mine

more snuggling....

Scoote: okay honey

[Gemme]

O: I'm going to the Beat Off!

G: Really? There's a competition for that? :blink:

[shadows papa]

Me talking to Shadow the Ninja Assassin Dog... "Shadow you would make a helluva door but you ain't worth a damn as a window...please MOVE your butt out from in front of the computer!" My father used to say this to us if we got in front of the TV when Gunsmoke was on!

[scootebaby]

after an 11 hr day,im barely able to move..i call Jo to meet me outside to get food and stuff


Me: (after she helped me out of car)i gotta check the mail
Jo: i'll get it,you can barely move
Me: its my ritual tho
Jo: well not tonight
Me: dammit u r busting my balls
JO: you dont have any
Me: because u busted them

[Gemme]

after an 11 hr day,im barely able to move..i call Jo to meet me outside to get food and stuff


Me: (after she helped me out of car)i gotta check the mail
Jo: i'll get it,you can barely move
Me: its my ritual tho
Jo: well not tonight
Me: dammit u r busting my balls
JO: you dont have any
Me: because u busted them

Ya'll sound like Organic and me. :blink:

[christie]

Jess @ work yesterday:

"That's what happens when you just wrap yer lips around something and take a slurp"

[Chancie]

Honey, are you laughing in your sleep?

Yeah.

Why, baby?

You're two-thirds Tinkerbell.

:stillheart:

[shadows papa]

Pinky: (as I am in the bedroom getting out cold weather cycling gear).... "It's gonna be 20 degrees in the morning! YOU are NUTS!"
Me: "Yeh,it's gonna be cold"

Pinky: But I'm getting up at the buttcrack of dawn and going with you to just stand and watch...what does that say about ME???" :cold:

Me: "Welcome to the world of your cycling crackhead Papa??" :jester:

[Gemme]

Pinky: (as I am in the bedroom getting out cold weather cycling gear).... "It's gonna be 20 degrees in the morning! YOU are NUTS!"
Me: "Yeh,it's gonna be cold"

Pinky: But I'm getting up at the buttcrack of dawn and going with you to just stand and watch...what does that say about ME???" :cold:

Me: "Welcome to the world of your cycling crackhead Papa??" :jester:

That you're two peas in a pod?

[TickledPink]

Shad's Mama (talking about thumb print cookies that she actually makes the size of HAND prints) "Sis makes them small so she'll have to get up and get them when she wants one, I don't cos I ain't got to!"

[StillettoDoll]

Me: " Blaze turn the light out !
Blaze: , You turn the light out.
Me: I was in bed first!
Blaze : but your closer to the light .
Ugghhhhhhh

[Gemme]

Organic plays LOTR on the computer. One of his characters, a goblin, says "Die!" when it attacks.

I SWEAR it says "DANG!" because they have made the voice kinda high and 'squished' to make it fit the character.

So, I'll walk around the apartment when he's playing saying "DANG!" when the goblin says "DIE!". It tickles me to do so and makes me laugh.

Sometimes Organic laughs with me.

Most of the time, he just shakes his head.

:blink:

[shadows papa]

Me and Miss Pink in the kitchen making sugar cookies last night:

Me: "What's wrong with your snowman? It looks skinny."

Miss Pink: "Huh? It got a little stretched out when I picked it up to put it on the pan."

Me: "No baby,that snowman looks like it's been on Jenny Craig!"

I got the hairy eyeball for about two seconds, then we both busted out laughing!

[shadows papa]

Sitting at the dinner table with Miss Pink and Snack....

Miss Pink: (while looking at the Charlie Brown Christmas tree she got at the Dollar Store)" Papa, I think we got a slutty angel on top of our tree, her skirt won't stay down!"

Me: "That's ok baby,she was cheap and slutty angels need love too." :smileyXmasTree:

[scootebaby]

sitting on the coucjh after i got home last nite


ME: did you wash whites yet?
Jo: no but i can
nah thats ok i got a pair of khakis,just have to wear a belt because button came off again
Jo: well get them and i'll sew it back on

few minutes pass,she starts to sew and...

Jo: i had this button on good last time..what did you do to pop it off?
Me: grew:blink:

[tuffboi29]

Note: The house has been running as if driven by whip.

Me: You know..We have 15 minutes til we have to leave..*pours large cup of to-go coffee*

Room mate aka "The Hobbit": Dude I need breakfast..I just can't live off of your diet anymore. :blink:

Me: *takes long drink of coffee* What do you mean? :confused:

Hobbit: I can't live off of coffee man..I need actual food.

Me: *pauses* I eat...

Hobbit: Snacking while cooking dinner then running off does NOT count as a full meal.

Me: I snack during breakfast, too. :|


(side note: the house is actually driven by coffee..I was just informed. :| )

[scootebaby]

ok a little background is needed so you all dont think im a complete nutcase...smells im not used to kinda freak me out...even tho realistically i know many unharmful things cant alter the waysomething smells or if no smell give it smell so with that in mind...



i had went into our bathroom to pee,here comes Jo...for some reason i rarely get to pee alone(i love you baby but yanno its true)

Me: umm honey i think something may be wrong?
Jo: why you say that?
Me: well my urine(yes i said urine) smells funny
Jo: oh honey in general you just smell funny :passinggas:

:|

[JustJo]

A moment ago...

Rooster and Scoote have been blaming each other for :fart:

Rooster grabs mini-dachshund Shadow (notorious for having bad breath), points his butt at Scoote and pretends to aim...

Scoote: Honey, he's loading the dog again and threatening me

Rooster: I'm gonna' shoot

Jo: :blink:

Scoote: I'll stick my finger in there and let it come out the other end

Rooster: :blink:

Scoote: You ain't smelled bad breath until you smell butt breath boy

Rooster: :giggle:

[princessbelle]

Not sure that this qualifies but i'm gonna post anyway...cause i'm like that.

Talking to Snack on messenger this morning. He leaves to go get a hair cut.

Then about 10 minutes later i get a message...something like this:

ql23kij42klfkj alaksjdfl.

This is something we do if we are upset or aggrevated, just wiggle our fingers on the keyboard.

So i type:

honey, are you upset? Did she not have time to cut your hair?

Then i see "snacktime is typing a message"

So i wait, and i wait and i wait. Nothing.

I call His phone..no answer. Now i'm getting a little worried. Has a bankrobber serial killer entered into his home and drown Him in the tub with a broom? Did He need a haircut so bad that He lost it and kidnapped the hair cut lady? Did He fall and is foaming at the mouth from a heart attack? All sorts of things going through my mind.

Finally, He calls.....He is at the hair place. All is well.

We figured out the message i got was from His kitty kats. :giggle:

[Gentle Tiger]

There is no one to talk to in my house. But I am enjoying this thread. You all are a riot!

[SnackTime]

Not sure that this qualifies but i'm gonna post anyway...cause i'm like that.

Talking to Snack on messenger this morning. He leaves to go get a hair cut.

Then about 10 minutes later i get a message...something like this:

ql23kij42klfkj alaksjdfl.

This is something we do if we are upset or aggrevated, just wiggle our fingers on the keyboard.

So i type:

honey, are you upset? Did she not have time to cut your hair?

Then i see "snacktime is typing a message"

So i wait, and i wait and i wait. Nothing.

I call His phone..no answer. Now i'm getting a little worried. Has a bankrobber serial killer entered into his home and drown Him in the tub with a broom? Did He need a haircut so bad that He lost it and kidnapped the hair cut lady? Did He fall and is foaming at the mouth from a heart attack? All sorts of things going through my mind.

Finally, He calls.....He is at the hair place. All is well.

We figured out the message i got was from His kitty kats. :giggle:

I caught the culprit when I came home. Odey was on the floor near the coffee table love seat (LOL)

[Gemme]

There is no one to talk to in my house. But I am enjoying this thread. You all are a riot!

You could post the conversations you have with yourself here.

[scootebaby]

You could post the conversations you have with yourself here.

i agree with this!...but if any of us decide to do this there will be no pointing and whispering behind my--i mean that persons back

[Gemme]

i agree with this!...but if any of us decide to do this there will be no pointing and whispering behind my--i mean that persons back

I make it a habit to talk about people to their face. Ask Organic. I do it to him all the time. :blink:

[shadows papa]

Not sure that this qualifies but i'm gonna post anyway...cause i'm like that.

Talking to Snack on messenger this morning. He leaves to go get a hair cut.

Then about 10 minutes later i get a message...something like this:

ql23kij42klfkj alaksjdfl.

This is something we do if we are upset or aggrevated, just wiggle our fingers on the keyboard.

So i type:

honey, are you upset? Did she not have time to cut your hair?

Then i see "snacktime is typing a message"

So i wait, and i wait and i wait. Nothing.

I call His phone..no answer. Now i'm getting a little worried. Has a bankrobber serial killer entered into his home and drown Him in the tub with a broom? Did He need a haircut so bad that He lost it and kidnapped the hair cut lady? Did He fall and is foaming at the mouth from a heart attack? All sorts of things going through my mind.

Finally, He calls.....He is at the hair place. All is well.

We figured out the message i got was from His kitty kats. :giggle:

BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!! I bet it was Odey! Punkin is more into verbalizing her thoughts than writing them DOWN!! :cracked:

[shadows papa]

I caught the culprit when I came home. Odey was on the floor near the coffee table love seat (LOL)

SEE? BINGO!

[SnackTime]

Sitting at the dinner table with Miss Pink and Snack....

Miss Pink: (while looking at the Charlie Brown Christmas tree she got at the Dollar Store)" Papa, I think we got a slutty angel on top of our tree, her skirt won't stay down!"

Me: "That's ok baby,she was cheap and slutty angels need love too." :smileyXmasTree:

OMG that was funny!

Oh and I love when we both shrugged our shoulders at Miss Pink and she busted out laughing!

[TickledPink]

OMG that was funny!

Oh and I love when we both shrugged our shoulders at Miss Pink and she busted out laughing!

Wait, wait, wait!

Let's paint the whole picture.
Shad compared the slutty angel to me, kinda. I agreed and hy said, you are bad girl, go to my room, I'll be there in an hour.

To which I replied in amazement, an hour???? That's a long time.........To which you BOTH, at the SAME time, mirror imaged each other and shrugged like it was no big deal. :seeingstars:

[princessbelle]

Wait, wait, wait!

Let's paint the whole picture.
Shad compared the slutty angel to me, kinda. I agreed and hy said, you are bad girl, go to my room, I'll be there in an hour.

To which I replied in amazement, an hour???? That's a long time.........To which you BOTH, at the SAME time, mirror imaged each other and shrugged like it was no big deal. :seeingstars:

OMG bad bois!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

huggles my pinky girl.

An hour is a LONG time.

No matter what those two say....shrugs or no shrugs.

You got my vote girl. ;)

ps it's scary how close alike those two think huh.

[SnackTime]

Wait, wait, wait!

Let's paint the whole picture.
Shad compared the slutty angel to me, kinda. I agreed and hy said, you are bad girl, go to my room, I'll be there in an hour.

To which I replied in amazement, an hour???? That's a long time.........To which you BOTH, at the SAME time, mirror imaged each other and shrugged like it was no big deal. :seeingstars:

Yes, well see I KNEW you would come in and give the whole story...LOL

[SnackTime]

OMG bad bois!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

huggles my pinky girl.

An hour is a LONG time.

No matter what those two say....shrugs or no shrugs.

You got my vote girl. ;)

ps it's scary how close alike those two think huh.

LMAO!

We all laughed!

[JustJo]

Going out to dinner, and I've been bugging Scoote for hours...

Jo: Honey, you know I'm gonna' be 85 years old and still driving you crazy

Scoote: I know, but by then my hearing will be gone and I won't know or care

:blink:

[Tucker]

Me: Oh man, my hands are so dry they are cracking. It sucks. I put lotion on and they burn like a mother.

A: I have some great stuff we use at the hospital. Let me get it for you. (Digging through the handbags in her closet). Ok the only problem is this stuff stinks like tampons.

Me: What? You want me to put tampon lotion on my hands?

A: Duh! This stuff is amazing! Just try it!

Me: (Putting it on) Holy crap! It does work. It is like a tampon glove of love for my fingies.

A: I told you! I wish Avon would make a flavor other than tampon.

Me: So, I should probably wash my hands before we make cookies or everyone cookies are going to taste like tampons.

A: Good idea. At least they will taste like fresh tampons.

[JustJo]

Laying in bed and Scoote :fart:

Jo: Honey, do you have a frog in your butt again?

Scoote: Sounded more like a duck...

Jo: :blink: I hope it isn't a very big duck...that could hurt

Scoote looks thoughtful for a moment

Scoote: More like a little one from the sound of it.

[scootebaby]

i never know where my mind will go or what thoughts may pop into them--sometimes at the most inopportune times so anyway...im laying in bed last night waiting on Jo and she walks out half dressed(just underthings)so im looking at her then kinda laugh and make a comment about something being wrong with me


Jo: what r u laughing at?
Me: well dont take this wrong,but it just occurred to me that ur belly pooch is lower--perhaps thats what makes ur butt come up on your back like that
Jo: :blink: :|
Me: no worries honey my ass is so big it pulls my belly up under my boobs


:cracked: the thought alone almost made me pee on myself

[shadows papa]

Just so y'all know I come by my smart-assedness honestly.... Today at my Mama's house this is a one liner from my Mama..."I'm gonna go to the airport to get one of them body searches, I ain't been FELT UP in YEARS!"

[TickledPink]

Just so y'all know I come by my smart-assedness honestly.... Today at my Mama's house this is a one liner from my Mama..."I'm gonna go to the airport to get one of them body searches, I ain't been FELT UP in YEARS!"


:rofl:

:pointing:

:flying:

[TickledPink]

OMG bad bois!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

huggles my pinky girl.

An hour is a LONG time.

No matter what those two say....shrugs or no shrugs.

You got my vote girl. ;)

ps it's scary how close alike those two think huh.


Thank you PURE BELLE! Muah....and, yes, vewy skeery, those two!

[Daywalker]

The extra love n care around here is just oozing these days.


"...I sucked the pickle juice off before I put it in yer tuna.
I didn't want it to get all soggy"
:chef:
What makes this comment extra Speshel?
:sunglass:
Daywalker said it to the Mrs. Daywalker.
:|........:shocking:
Not the other way around.

Wwweeeeeeeee

:rofl:

:daywalker:

[Gemme]

We didn't have the heat on but it's been dreary and damp and chilly enough that our sliding glass door fogged up due to the temperature difference.

I snuck up behind Organic and wrote H E L P! backwards on the window and put a squiggle underneath it.

He looked over and said, "Now, what if someone from the apartments across the street sees it and calls the cops?"

I said, "First of all, the cops have bigger fish to fry than you keeping me hostage. Secondly, there's a SQUIGGLE under it. No one would take it seriously."

Organic goes over and, instead of wiping it off, writes N O backwards in shaky weird lettering underneath.

Me: Oh, that is SO much better! They won't suspect anything from THAT. :blink:

[Gemme]

We're watching horrible, I mean HORRIBLE, movies during the down time while Organic is at work. We watched Highway to Hell with Kristy Swanson and Chad Lowe. Ugh. Then he started up some Road to Promythius (or some such nonsense) and started complaining because they didn't stab a guy to his specifications. I said that it was a crappy movie and what did he expect and Organic said, "I expect them to stab a muthafucka and not just stab the ground!"

:blink:

Yes, we have high standards at our home.

[lipstixgal]

We didn't have the heat on but it's been dreary and damp and chilly enough that our sliding glass door fogged up due to the temperature difference.

I snuck up behind Organic and wrote H E L P! backwards on the window and put a squiggle underneath it.

He looked over and said, "Now, what if someone from the apartments across the street sees it and calls the cops?"

I said, "First of all, the cops have bigger fish to fry than you keeping me hostage. Secondly, there's a SQUIGGLE under it. No one would take it seriously."

Organic goes over and, instead of wiping it off, writes N O backwards in shaky weird lettering underneath.

Me: Oh, that is SO much better! They won't suspect anything from THAT. :blink:

You need heat in TExas I didn't know that wow it must be really dreary and damp well its cold here in the northeast but expected at this time of year!! And its funny that you wrote that on the window with a squiggle underneath I really think that the cops will think nothing of it..but I got a laugh anyway thanks..

[Gentle Tiger]

*said to Zoe (my cat) as she is twirled around in my lap earlier while trying to get comfortable*

Please remove your paw from my crotch. Her response? :|

[christie]

During our 984 miles in 48 hr road trip to Nashville over Christmas...

Me: "Its clear this way."

Jess: "Good thing - I wasn't lookin' anyway"

Pure example of why you nap as little as possible when its not your turn to drive!

[Words]

My 21 year old incredibly spoilt daughter who's visiting from Israel and who seems oblivious to the fact that Christmas does not just 'happen' by itself (in response to my request that she pick up something from right in front of her on the floor)...

''Oooooooooooh Maaaaaaama, come on, you want me to bend? I'm tiiiiiiiiiired.''

*Sigh.*

Words

[scootebaby]

We're watching horrible, I mean HORRIBLE, movies during the down time while Organic is at work. We watched Highway to Hell with Kristy Swanson and Chad Lowe. Ugh. Then he started up some Road to Promythius (or some such nonsense) and started complaining because they didn't stab a guy to his specifications. I said that it was a crappy movie and what did he expect and Organic said, "I expect them to stab a muthafucka and not just stab the ground!"

:blink:

Yes, we have high standards at our home.



i can feel Organic on this...i mean if you are gonna stab someone you GOT to do it right! sheeesh

[TickledPink]

Papa, while reading in bed: "My hands are cold. I think I need some reading gloves."

:glasses:

:reader:

:superfunny:

:knitboy: I'm on it!

[christie]

Papa, while reading in bed: "My hands are cold. I think I need some reading gloves."

:glasses:

:reader:

:superfunny:

:knitboy: I'm on it!

Ask hym if hys ears are cold *devilish grin*

(Its an old joke - if you haven't heard it, lemme know and I'll post it!)

[durrrrrrrr]

first, I need to set up what was going on. on t.v. the news had a story about Gene Keady ( who was Purdue University basketball coach ) was selling some of his items. My sister was watching it and I was walking thru the family room.

News dude : Gene Keady is selling his six foot nutcracker soldiers

my sister: wow. that would definitely crack your nuts!

me: :|:|:| i keep walking thru while looking at her like this :|

[Gemme]

Papa, while reading in bed: "My hands are cold. I think I need some reading gloves."

:glasses:

:reader:

:superfunny:

:knitboy: I'm on it!

That's what thighs are for!

[Bard]

my very smart 7 year old daughter to me* Mama what are these (holding Desd birth control pills) so I tell her and her responce ...... Mama Hide them as she runs away with them I want a little brother HUH say what

[shadows papa]

That's what thighs are for!

Hmmm.... a combination hand warmer/book holder among other things??? I'm all for THAT!!

[TickledPink]

Ask hym if hys ears are cold *devilish grin*

(Its an old joke - if you haven't heard it, lemme know and I'll post it!)

I have not heard it! Waiting on post :)

[christie]

I have not heard it! Waiting on post :)

Couple on honeymoon in cabin - cold, snow.

Hubby heads out to chop wood. Wifey sitting on sofa reading book.

Hubby keeps coming back in and sticking his hands in between her thighs.

After about the 4th time, she asks what he is doing.

"Warming up my hands, dear."

She looks at him and asks, "Aren't your damned ears cold yet?!?!?"

:dance2:

[Jess]

Couple on honeymoon in cabin - cold, snow.

Hubby heads out to chop wood. Wifey sitting on sofa reading book.

Hubby keeps coming back in and sticking his hands in between her thighs.

After about the 4th time, she asks what he is doing.

"Warming up my hands, dear."

She looks at him and asks, "Aren't your damned ears cold yet?!?!?"

:dance2:


Brrrrrr.... my ears are freezin off! :freak:

[Jess]

During our 984 miles in 48 hr road trip to Nashville over Christmas...

Me: "Its clear this way."

Jess: "Good thing - I wasn't lookin' anyway"

Pure example of why you nap as little as possible when its not your turn to drive!


another not so shiny Codger driving moment during said trip...

nearing 11:45 PM on nearly desolate I 77 when we meet oncoming traffic..

Her: Honey, you have your brights on

Me: Really? I knew I was seeing awfully good! :sunglass:

:byebye:

[shadows papa]

I cleaned Miss Pink's bathroom today and we are talking about it...

Me: I'm pretty clean even though sometimes I may have a Stinky Boi butt!

Miss Pink: I've never smelled your butt....

I decided I had best leave the room THEN and THERE!

[Words]

Couple on honeymoon in cabin - cold, snow.

Hubby heads out to chop wood. Wifey sitting on sofa reading book.

Hubby keeps coming back in and sticking his hands in between her thighs.

After about the 4th time, she asks what he is doing.

"Warming up my hands, dear."

She looks at him and asks, "Aren't your damned ears cold yet?!?!?"

:dance2:

Ha!

Love it.

Words

[christie]

I can be funny - even at work:

One of my employees saw me heading to my office with a broom.

Her: "Whatcha gonna do with that?"

Me: "Take it for a ride... what do you THINK I am gonna do with it?!?!?!?"

[shadows papa]

I can be funny - even at work:

One of my employees saw me heading to my office with a broom.

Her: "Whatcha gonna do with that?"

Me: "Take it for a ride... what do you THINK I am gonna do with it?!?!?!?"


Was it that rocket-powered SuperTurbo charged model I sent ya??? :nyahnyah:

[Words]

Me, last night, whilst Hy was bending in front of me (again) to stoke the fire.

''I'm really going to miss that in the summer.''

Hym. ''I know, it's great that we have a real fire.''

Me. ''I meant the view of Your butt, not the fire.''

I actually will miss it. It's not often I get that kind of close up.

*Smile*

Words

[durrrrrrrr]

playing a card game with the family

my sister: "you have to have good cards to win the game

me as I'm looking over at her: no shit??

[scootebaby]

walking thru the house during day noticing pine needles from tree all over place..poor tree beaten down...finally heading to bed....laying there watching tv as the kittens from hell are romping all over the place

Me: who's idea was it to get those damn kittens?
Jo: yours dear
Me: well next time tell me no dammit!

[Kenna]

I'm curled up on the couch, mindin' my own business and my roomie came to the hallway door and proceeded to look at me funny...

Me: What's wrong?
Blade: I'm waiting.
Me: What'ya waiting for?
Blade: We still have some snow left.
Me: Yeah.... AND?
Blade: We still have some snow left and I'm waiting.
Me: Yeah..... most of it has turned all muddy. WHAT are you waiting on.
Blade: To see naked snow angels!
Me: Well? Why don't you get naked and go make some snow angels?
Blade: *huff*

(that didn't exactly work out for him the way he planned *evil grin*)

[Gemme]

Clarification: "Murder is NOT playing nice!"

[shadows papa]

Me and Miss Pink discussing being from small towns way out in the country of Tennessee and Kentucky respectively...

Me: "Well my Mama is from Franklin County and my Daddy was from Lincoln County so I know they weren't kin."

Miss Pink: "Well my Mom and Dad were from the same county but they weren't kin to each other and I'm not kin to any of my cousins either!"

Me: "HUH??"

[Jess]

Me and Miss Pink discussing being from small towns way out in the country of Tennessee and Kentucky respectively...

Me: "Well my Mama is from Franklin County and my Daddy was from Lincoln County so I know they weren't kin."

Miss Pink: "Well my Mom and Dad were from the same county but they weren't kin to each other and I'm not kin to any of my cousins either!"

Me: "HUH??"


Oh hell... that literally made me laugh really loud! HA!

[JustJo]

Scoote: Honey, you got something from Home Depot...

Jo: Oh, it's the credit card...so we could get the zero interest on the patio furniture...

Scoote: We have a Home Depot credit card???

Jo: Yep

Scoote: Damn...I wish I was more butch...

:blink:

[Jess]

Scoote: Honey, you got something from Home Depot...

Jo: Oh, it's the credit card...so we could get the zero interest on the patio furniture...

Scoote: We have a Home Depot credit card???

Jo: Yep

Scoote: Damn...I wish I was more butch...

:blink:


LOL! Were that convo to take place here.. it would be me saying " Damn, we have a patio?".. to which she would respond " yes, the one you are going to use this credit card to build".. argh.. the joys of homebuilding!

[Kenna]

Blade: What's sha...sha...shit Take mushrooms?
Me: :| huh?
Blade: What's shit Take mushrooms?
Me: :superfunny: You mean Shiitake! You goof!

[shadows papa]

Me and Miss Pink sitting in the living room replying to each other in the "Song Title Quiz" thread....

Me: I'm stalking you,I gots one for ya!

Miss Pink: Whatcha got, cos you AIN"T TALKIN' ABOUT LOVE

Me: I got a GOOD ONE for ya!

Miss Pink: Whatcha got big boi??

Me: Yanno we could save ourselves a LOT of typing and just duel this out right here! :byebye:

It doesn't take a lot to amuse us at 9:30 on a Sunday morning!

[Kenna]

Me: (speaking to Skippy Dippy the chihuahua begging for treats at his Daddy's feet....) Your Daddy's being fastidious about that.
Blade: What? :blink: huh?
Me: You're being fastidious about how you arrange that beef in the bowl.
Blade: What's that mean?
Me: You tell me. You posted it as your Word Of The Day a few days ago. :cheesy:

[Gemme]

While in the car, a song came on the radio. I began to sing a little bit and Ebon just shook his head. As we pulled into our parking spot, he says, "Now, why would someone want to do that and sing like Eminem?"

I said, "Because it IS Eminem".

:blink:

[JustJo]

I'm on the phone with my teammates and, in a lighter moment, we're talking about New Year's resolutions...

Jo: I've resolved that I'm going to measure out a good 4 mile walk for myself and get back to it...the dog and I both need it and I haven't been getting my daily walk since I moved to Florida.

co-worker: But aren't there alligators where you are now?

Jo: Well, there probably are some in the canals, but I haven't seen one yet.

co-worker: How big is your dog? Could he outrun an alligator? Or could you pick him up and run if you saw one?

Jo: He's a mini-dachshund...if we see an alligator I'll be grabbing him and taking up running like *** (another co-worker and his resolution)

Team laughs (probably at the image of me running :giggle: )

co-worker: OMG Jo...do you realize you're going to be walking 4 miles a day with bait?!?!?!?

[Gemme]

Me: I'm at lunch! I have soda! Weeee!

Ebon: We we weeeeeeeeee! Enjoy your soda. I'm about to start work. Yaaay!!! Do you have some actual food too?

Me: Pbj. Banana. Reeses cup.

Ebon: Lunch of champions.

Me: Rice cake too! I get to go on a field trip!

Ebon: Where to? Sounds like fun!

Me: The BANK!!! Guess where it is.

Ebon: Mayner?

(The town is spelled Manor, but they pronounce it like May--ner, so we make fun of it all the time. It's like a dirty, gritty Aunt Bea-less Mayberry.)

Me: Flippin' right, it is! And I'll have to go there EVERY night I close the store from this Saturday on. Lucky! Did I mention I had soda? :blink:

[Gemme]

Me: Hey, honey! They found a 112 year old ship in Michigan.

Ebon: Oh, hey! Was it Noah's Arc?

Me: No, smartass. It's the L.R. Doty.

Ebon: Uh huh.

Me: *reads from the article* It's been perfectly preserved by the cold water. And was the largest wooden vessel to not be accounted for.

Ebon: Yeah. Didn't they think to look in the water before now?

Me: *swats at him*

Me: Did you know that there's a Wisconsin Underwater Archaeology Association?

Ebon: Wow!

Me: No, actually, it's WUAA. *over-pronounces it*

:blink:

Ebon: :rofl:

[christie]

My mantras for 2011 -

"I can't fix stupid."

"My money is on crazy."

[Blade]

conversation about me having made coffee yesterday

me..I aint a good coffee maker

sweet..it's easy just read the bag

me...I did it said 1 tablespoon

sweet...teaspoon

me...no says tablespoon...how bout you go make us some good coffee

sweet...grumbling something as she went to trump me on the tablespoon vs teaspoon

Moments later
sweet...CALEB

sweet...CALEB YOU USED THE WHOLE BAG OF COFFEE FOR ONE POT?

me...cracking up no I didn't

sweet...well the bag is empty....

me...:rolleyes:

[miss entycing]

Damon as He's going in the kitchen to make cookies-

Him- want me to make you some cookies?

me- will you make both kinds?

Him- was gonna

Him fumbling around in cabinet

Him- I can't make these cookies dammit!

me-oh good gravy- why not?

Him- cuz we ain't got no eggs

me- it needs eggs?? I thought it came with all that?

Him- uh, nooooo- it doesn't

me- who knew?

Him- well I guess I'll brave the ice and go to the store tomorrow and buy cookies! :eyebrow:

[Random]

Me and Miss Pink discussing being from small towns way out in the country of Tennessee and Kentucky respectively...

Me: "Well my Mama is from Franklin County and my Daddy was from Lincoln County so I know they weren't kin."

Miss Pink: "Well my Mom and Dad were from the same county but they weren't kin to each other and I'm not kin to any of my cousins either!"

Me: "HUH??"


Grin..

My mom and dad actually are cousins... hehe

BUT

they didn't become cousins until mom was three and dad was one, so I don't think it counts...

[Kobi]

After having introduced a friend to The Big Bang Theory……..

Deb: OMG, Sheldon reminds me so much of you!

Kobi: huh?

Deb: Sheldon is you!

Kobi: Sorry, I still don’t get it.

Deb: People, except for the inner core, seldom know what Sheldon is saying. How often do people say to you…you are speaking in tongues again?

You both have an uncanny ability to be devoid of expression regardless of the situation.

Sheldon sees the world in formulas and probabilities. You see it in behavior patterns and human nature.

You both can dish out the funniest sarcasm but when done to you, you haven’t a clue.

Kobi: *trying to decide if I am supposed to feel insulted or uplifted*

Deb: Sheldon dresses better tho.

Kobi: * me picturing Sheldon*


http://i1207.photobucket.com/albums/bb464/kobi2/sheldon.jpg


Ok I’m quite sure that was meant to be a dig.

Deb: *giving hug* But I love your uniqueness.

Kobi: * Sighs. Has no freakin clue what just happened.*

[JustJo]

Two men answered my ad on freecycle about the (semi-creepy) shed I want to vanish from the back yard (and yes, Scoote agreed :) )

Unfortunately, it was already getting dark when they showed up...and Scoote was at work. So there I am, in the back yard, in the semi-dark, with two strange men. I do not particularly care for this.

Shadow (our mini-dachshund), trots out....barks twice.

Man #1: Hi puppy

Shadow barks once more, then runs for the doggy door, looking over his shoulder as he goes. Great watch dog. :sunglass:

Conversation and shed inspection continues.

Banshee (our boy kitty who is the size of a small pony) approaches.

Me: Hi Banshee boo boo

Banshee: Meow...and starts to purr

Man #2 (stepping out of the shed): Hi kitty

Banshee hisses, snarls, puffs his tail up and starts to walk stiff-legged towards both men.

Man #1: Dammmmnnnnnn.....you don't need a dog with a cat like that.

[shadows papa]

Miss Pink likes to sleep with a fan on for the noise, but I don't like it blowing on me while we sleep....so we compromise...

Miss Pink: "I have the fan on but it's not blowing on the bed"

Me: "Oh that's great, that'll work"

Miss Pink: "What we really need in here is a noise machine"

Me: (grinning into her hair as we snuggle) "We have one,it's name is Pinky" :pointing:

Miss Pink: "Fucker" :4femme:

[Gemme]

Ebon: Have you started looking for another job?

Me: No. It took me so long to find this one and I don't like job humping.

Both: :|

Me: Uh, I mean job hopping. I'm going to bed now.

Ebon: Might be a good idea.

[Blade]

Me to Sweet..
Me..want me to fix you something to eat?
Sweet...no, I'll get something in a bit

Me..ok, I don't mind

hour later I walk in the kitchen
Sweet is cooking her breakfast

Me...I'da done that for you
Sweet....it's ok, I wanted french toast

I look in the pan and see an egg frying

Me....french toast? ummm ok...:|

[Kenna]

Me to Sweet..
Me..want me to fix you something to eat?
Sweet...no, I'll get something in a bit

Me..ok, I don't mind

hour later I walk in the kitchen
Sweet is cooking her breakfast

Me...I'da done that for you
Sweet....it's ok, I wanted french toast

I look in the pan and see an egg frying

Me....french toast? ummm ok...:|


Damn!! This proves to everyone why you are always asking me where your glasses are!! There WAS french toast on the plate and I was just finishing up the egg as you stepped in the kitchen.... 'cuz you interrupted me, my egg ended up being "lacy". (if anybody wants to know what LACY eggs are...ask Blade :cheesy:)

As I remember the convo....
You asked "why didn't you let me make that for ya?"
Me: Because I had a French Toast Kick
You: :blink: :D now THAT's a post!! (and you ran off to the computer)

What I didn't say was.... I didn't ask you to make French Toast because of you trying to stick to your diet. :raspberry: :raspberry: that's what I get for being nice to ya?

[TickledPink]

Papa and I discussing an upcoming conference I'm attending:

Papa: "So, what will you do there?"
Me: "Industry stuff, same old shit every year."
Papa: "I guess I'll just be hugging my pillows while you are gone."
Me: "I guess I'll be hugging mine too, but, there will be ROOM SERVICE!"
Papa: "Bitch, you got room service here! I bring you chocolate and Ginger Ale anytime you want."

LMAO! Point taken.

[Andrea]

In the car, driving to the gym:

Me: I don't understand why you take a shower before going to the gym.

Rene: Crust on crust leads to barnacles.

Me: :|

Andrea

[Kenna]

Blade: Which of these Muffy Puffers are yours?
Me: :blink: :blink: huh?
Blade: Which of these Muffy Puffers are yours?
Me: :| :blink: What on earth is a Muffy Puffer? That sounds like a new kind of sex toy?
Blade: (looking at me cross) You know? The blue Muffy Puffers in the bath room?
Me: :| OHHHHHH!!! :giggle: :giggle: :rofl: do you mean the blue scrubbies?
Blade: Yeah, MUFFY PUFFERS! Which one is yours?
Me: :rofl: None!! I don't used MUFFY PUFFERS!!


(there are so many Muffy Puffers in the bathroom and linen closet, I think Blade bought stock in Muffy Puffers!!)

[Blade]

Cracking up....well I don't know what the hell to call them...all I know is they suds up way better than a wash cloth and they are like a brillo pad and scrub the grunge off my body.

Blade: Which of these Muffy Puffers are yours?
Me: :blink: :blink: huh?
Blade: Which of these Muffy Puffers are yours?
Me: :| :blink: What on earth is a Muffy Puffer? That sounds like a new kind of sex toy?
Blade: (looking at me cross) You know? The blue Muffy Puffers in the bath room?
Me: :| OHHHHHH!!! :giggle: :giggle: :rofl: do you mean the blue scrubbies?
Blade: Yeah, MUFFY PUFFERS! Which one is yours?
Me: :rofl: None!! I don't used MUFFY PUFFERS!!


(there are so many Muffy Puffers in the bathroom and linen closet, I think Blade bought stock in Muffy Puffers!!)

[Kenna]

Cracking up....well I don't know what the hell to call them...all I know is they suds up way better than a wash cloth and they are like a brillo pad and scrub the grunge off my body.


Muffy Puffers :giggle: :giggle:
When you first asked me, I thought you had an Ex girlfriend named Muffy? Or a girlfriend who left all her Muffy Puffers all over the bathroom?

I think they multiply like Tribbles from Star Trek!! :|:blink:

[Gemme]

Cracking up....well I don't know what the hell to call them...all I know is they suds up way better than a wash cloth and they are like a brillo pad and scrub the grunge off my body.


Do they look like THIS (http://www.amazon.com/b?ie=UTF8&node=11056551)?

[scootebaby]

Jo and I were driving to Hope Depot then to Bob Evans for breakfast before going to beach

cant remember what we were talking about,but suddenly i :passinggas:

Me: uh my butt has something to say about that

Jo: oh please honey--ur butt ALWAYS has something to say

Me: :cracked:

[scootebaby]

after driving up after i got off work..we had some dinner then showered and hit the hay

Jo and I were laying in bed cuddling when she said

JO: omg honey im gonna be 49 in just a couple of months
ME: no problem honey i'll put a downpayment on a ScootAround for you

:lol2:

[JustJo]

after driving up after i got off work..we had some dinner then showered and hit the hay

Jo and I were laying in bed cuddling when she said

JO: omg honey im gonna be 49 in just a couple of months
ME: no problem honey i'll put a downpayment on a ScootAround for you

:lol2:

:|

I didn't bother to point out that she's Scoote...and I'm just gonna' make her carry me. :cheesy:

[JustJo]

I've missed this thread...

Rooster is laying on the couch, face down, watching TV...and Scoote and I are on the other end of the couch.

Suddenly, we hear a quiet :fart: from the boy's direction.

Silence.

Scoote: I don't know boy...I wouldn't even waste time with those little ones. That's just a waste of air. :|

[scootebaby]

i think we need to keep this thread alive!!

so this wasnt at my house,but at work,which is sometimes like a second home--without all the nice amenities...anyway im sitting in my office doing the dreaded admin side of my job,and my driver walks in,plops her lazy ass in chair beside me and starts texting(which i dont mind if it isnt a constant thing and they have their work done...well instead of saying anything this happened

Me: (casually shifting in my chair)
Her: (sniffing) did you :passinggas: ?
Me:does it smell like it?
Her: yes
Me: :| well then
Her: you coulda warned me
Me: it is MY office yanno
Her: yeah but still
Me: well i figured since i was paying you,id give you something to do

[princessbelle]

In IM

Snack: I'm gonna go take a shower, be back later

(bella jumps across computer and types)

skd a jd

Me: sorry, that was bella, talk to you later.

(then a couple of minutes later)

Snack: skAJDKFJASKL (seen this before and knows what it is)

me: Oh hey Odie, how are you doing today.

Our animals love messenger it seems.

[scootebaby]

lol Belle....we have a kitten-male mr attitude tough guy who loves to walk on lil notebook-acting like he is reading or looking at whats on my screen...if he doesnt like it he will step on my keys like he is typing

[JustJo]

I've had a very rough day, and Scoote is sitting next to me as I order hoses and accessories for the central vacuum system online.

A few minutes later...

Jo: Dang, I can't find my credit card...oh, there it is.

Types numbers into the computer.

Scoote: Honey, didn't you just buy a bunch of stuff a minute ago?

Jo: Yes, that was the vacuum stuff.

Scoote: What are you ordering now?

Jo: This is the Great White pool cleaner thingie.

Finishes typing, clicks send, puts away credit card.

Scoote: Do you feel better now honey?

Jo: Uh huh. :)

[Kenna]

Blade: I have to get home and feed the critters. I think I forgot to feed last night?
Sweet: Poor Trippie!! *funny sad face*
Blade: Poor Trippie???
Sweet: Yeah, poor Trippie....he has a widdle belly, he can't go without eating for long.
Blade: *laughs* widdle belly?
Sweet: Yeah...he eats a widdle and then shits a widdle...then eats a widdle more.
Blade: :superfunny:
Sweet: poor Trippie...he eats a widdle shits a widdle!

[Blade]

While having a conversation about Skippy licking my feet and then Tashi's ears....Sweet says don't let him lick her ears he's probably got athletes tongue from licking your feet....he's gonna give her athlete ears :blink:

note I do not have athlete's feet

[Kenna]

While having a conversation about Skippy licking my feet and then Tashi's ears....Sweet says don't let him lick her ears he's probably got athletes tongue from licking your feet....he's gonna give her athlete ears :blink:

note I do not have athlete's feet

Sweet: eewwwww Skippy is OBSESSED with your feet!!
Blade: what's wrong with that?
Sweet: your feet are gonna smell like dog slobber!! eewwwww!!
Blade: *laughs hard* you don't kiss my feet so what does it matter?
Sweet: I don't kiss your ass either, but still!! eewww
Skippy: *slurp slobber slurpppp slurp!*

YES!!! Skippy is gonna get athletes tongue if he keeps that up!! YUCK!!!

[shadows papa]

I have an admitted fascination for watching Miss Pinky getting ready to go out anywhere and spend a lot of time hanging out on the bed talking to her as she does all those magical girl things that she does...one of them being applying makeup....

Shad: "What's that your putting on now Pinky??"

Pinky: "It's foundation"

Shad: "That's the liquid stuff that's a base for other stuff, right? What color is it?"

Pinky: " Yes. This is color is called 'Naked'."

Shad: "If it's called Naked,then why are you bothering to put it ON?? Is it like the Empress' new makeup???" :seeingstars:

[shadows papa]

Miss Pink commenting on an inane Dulcolax commercial while lying against my legs on the couch....

Miss Pink: "Why would anyone want to use a stool softener while on a plane??"

Me: " I don't really know."

Miss Pink: " I can't even PEE on a plane!!"

Me: " I've tried, but I can't lift my leg much higher than the landing gear!"

We both collapsed in gales of helpless laughter.

[Scorp]

This was just brought to my attention when on the phone with Ladi earlier:

(Phone rings) Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrring!!!

Me: "Hello"?

Ladi: "Hi honey, how are you doing this morning"?

Me: "Good, I just had some coffee, so I'm more alive and thank you for your little note" :eyebat:

Ladi: "I guess you don't remember making funny sounds in your sleep" ?

Me: "Ummm, no, why? What was I doing"?? "Was I snoring"???

Ladi: "Well, I remember hearing you making some sort of strange sounds so I started to rub your back gently". "And no, you were'nt snoring, it was more like a breathing heh, heh, heh sound."

Me: "Really"??? I have no recollection of that at all!". "How weird, you sure it wasn't one of the cats"???

Ladi: "No, it wasn't one of the cats hon, it was you and then it happened again, so I reached my hand out again to rub your back and thought your back was still facing me, until you slapped my hand real hard". "I guess you don't remember doing that either".

Me: "OMFG, now that you said that about the hand thing, I remember feeling a hand near my face and slapped it down hard!". "Shit, now I remember"! LOLOL "Did it hurt"???

Ladi: (Laughing) "A little bit, but more than anything it scared me, because it startled me". Maybe you thought it was a bug or something and you started swatting away".

Me: "No, I remember in my sleep feeling a hand on my face in the dark, so I reacted". "But it could have been worse, I could have bitten it off or something".

BOTH OF US: (Laughing on the phone)

Me: "So whattya want for dinner tonight"?

[Ebon]

I have to translate rap music for my baby.

the guy says "I aint never scared"

she says "Well damn get some glasses...I aint never seen, I aint never seen."

I say...."He's saying I aint never scared."

she says"Well damn didn't his momma teach him how to enunciate"

[Blade]

Not exactly around this house but threw a text message this morning concerning this house.

Me: Do you need anything from town? Do I need to pick up anything on my way home from work?

Sweet: No I don't need anything but when you get home we need to make a grocery list...

Me: :|

[Kenna]

Not exactly around this house but threw a text message this morning concerning this house.

Me: Do you need anything from town? Do I need to pick up anything on my way home from work?

Sweet: No I don't need anything but when you get home we need to make a grocery list...

Me: :|


And your punch line is?

just for that, I'll let you clean out the fridge all by your lonesome :goodluck:

[pajama]

If we were in the same house I would have heard it, with a slight alteration I'm sure instead it too is a text:

"I guess I'll just play Frontierville and masturbate. Not necessarily in that order nor in relation to one another."

tee hee

[dixie]

If we were in the same house I would have heard it, with a slight alteration I'm sure instead it too is a text:

"I guess I'll just play Frontierville and masturbate. Not necessarily in that order nor in relation to one another."

tee hee

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

:eek: :o

[Kenna]

While in the lunchroom the other day, sitting at a table opposite from two female co-workers....
I'm in a quiet daze of workload burnout, I over-hear something said in a very serious, firm tone...

"I could do Shirley, but not Laverne."

(me: :| :| :| ...snap out of my daze, listen closely...)

"I can groom Shirley and get her to sit still to trim her nails, but Laverne is just too big for me, her fur's too thick and she bit me the last time."

(me: :blink: :giggle: )

:dog: :dog:

[Daywalker]

This is a place to put your Overheard @ The (fill in the blank).


Example:

Overheard @ The Daywalkers yesterday ~

:bbq:


"...she wants to use the new foil, not the left over foil. Fine. FINe. Here, use a piece of the 40 year old good stuff."


:tinfoil:

:huhlaugh:

Have fun n remember ~ try not to run too fast with scissors.

:skateboard:

:daywalker:

[Daywalker]

Overheard @ The Daywalkers:

Mrs. Day
"I love U for your Tuna"
:stillheart:


Me:
" :| Oh, really"
:weedsmoke:


Mrs. Day
"...tuna FISH Daywalker"

Me:

":| *grin* yeah, that's a whole lot different"
:farmer:

Mrs. Day:

"...tuna fish SALAD Daywalker"

Me:

"...this pleases the Gay MaN in mah head"

:awww:

:seesaw:
:daywalker:

[The_Lady_Snow]

Dirty!!!!!!!!!

[Daywalker]

Dirty!!!!!!!!!

Why, thank you.

:grindevil:

:daywalker:

[Gemme]

Someone's in direct competition with bete's thread.



Ooooooooooh. :blink:

[Tommi]

Couple of things.

This is not an inner sanctum type thread this is a Fun N' Fluff type thread. And there are already two of the "Overheard" threads, so I am going to merge this one, because, you know, Hippy got some funny shit to say.

Hold on, I will try to do it and not blow anything up.

:)

UH Ohhhhh

http://videogum.com/img/thumbnails/photos/exploding_computer.jpg

[Daywalker]

Why am I more Dayzed and Cornfused than
I was an hour ago at last Toke time?
:|

What Did we do with My Thread?
:fastdraq:


:daywalker:

[The_Lady_Snow]

Will Potty's thread be merged with this one too??

[Daywalker]

Wait ~ Did we just Merge mah thread with this one?

:confused:
Cuz it's not just 'around the house' stuff.


It meant 'Overheard ~ at yer Dentist Office or whatever.


Hence my Title Differention from this one.


Put it back please n thank you?
:bigcry:


:daywalker:

[Daywalker]

Will Potty's thread be merged with this one too??


:|

:coffee:

:daywalker:

[The_Lady_Snow]

:|

:coffee:

:daywalker:


A girl needs to know where to post damn it!

[Daywalker]

Jesus.

I don't remember the name of Potty's thread.

I am just not convinced we need three "overheard" anywhere threads.

Convince me, and I'll do reverse magic.

Or, you can be a grumpy hippy.

:(

Here I go ~
:police:

Ok, so this one is Shit Heard Around this House.

:gossip:

Mine is Overheard ~ @ (fill in the blank)

Could be from the news
:scarytv:

Could be from the subway
...dentist office

...grocery aisle #18-feminine products
:shocking:

...outside Juney n Kat's garden (the squirrels, they talk ya know)
etc...etc...etc.


:weedsmoke:

Lemme know when to take the Podium of Convince-I-fication Round 2

((cue Jerry Ding))

:daywalker:

[Dude]

if we are condensing threads,do we really need to know
what the f people are eating all damn day?
"what did you have for breakfast?"
"what are you having for lunch?"
"what's for dinner?" "what's for suppah?"

:|
seriously

[Gemme]

Why am I more Dayzed and Cornfused than
I was an hour ago at last Toke time?
:|

What Did we do with My Thread?
:fastdraq:


:daywalker:

It was merged with this one.

June, I think Potty's was also called overheard something or other.

I vote we merge 'em all and call it 'what was said' or 'ooooooh, you hearin' this?' or 'overheard 'n chit'.

:blink:

if we are condensing threads,do we really need to know
what the f people are eating all damn day?
"what did you have for breakfast?"
"what are you having for lunch?"
"what's for dinner?" "what's for suppah?"

:|
seriously

Careful, Dude. The lunch thread's mine and I'm very curious as to what people eat for lunch.
:eating:

[Dude]

.

:blink:

Careful, Dude. The lunch thread's mine and I'm very curious as to what people eat for lunch.
:eating:

sometime's I look too.
Mostly at breakfast. Then I see breakfast post's happen
at suppah time and it confuses me.:|
I may start a "breakfast, it's what's for dinner " thread
I'm not dissing anyone.Just giving an example.
I want the Day to have his thread.

[Gemme]

sometime's I look too.
Mostly at breakfast. Then I see breakfast post's happen
at suppah time and it confuses me.:|
I may start a "breakfast, it's what's for dinner " thread
I'm not dissing anyone.Just giving an example.
I want the Day to have his thread.

I want to start a 'what's in your wallet?' thread cuz I like the commercial, but there's a 'what's in your purse' thread already and so, there stands the chance of there already being a wallet thread. I just couldn't find it.

I want every thread to have its Day.

:blink:

Maybe we could start a 'what kind of Day is today?' thread and post pics of the different faces of Day.

It could happen....:thinking:...

[Daywalker]

Fine.

Go ahead and start another "Shit heard wherever" thread.

Evidently, the magic does not reverse.

Sorry about that (Sincerely)

HOWEVER. It does not go in the Inner Sanctum. It's Fun 'n Fluff.

Damn Hippies.

(I also like the what are you eating threads because I have a complicated relationship with food)

Fine.


I will do just that.

:gimmehug:

Damn Poodles
:cheesy:

:daywalker:

[Gemme]

Me: How do you like dinner?
Ebon: It's good but I don't know who made it.
Me: What? I made it, you fool.
Ebon: Well, it's so good it tastes like I made it.

:blink:

Me: *mutters* Asshatted backhanded compliments..

[Kenna]

on Wednesday when Blade's Dad met me at work....

Dad: I really like those garden bins you gave me for my tomatoes.... I've got three done and put by the house, I want to put 6 there and I need 2 more for my shed....I need to get more potting soil; where did you get that stuff you gave me?

Me: At that little farmer's market, on their front porch.

Dad: *thoughtful look on face* Their porch?

Me: yeah, right next to their front door.

Dad: *very thoughtful look....you could just see the 'hamster turning its wheel'*... how much did you pay for it?

Me: Eight Dollars

Dad: :shocking: Eight Dollars??!!! Why did Blade tell me it was Seven?

Me: Cause it's 7.99 *goofy grin*

Dad: *very silly grin, amused laugh!* He's just like me!! 7.99!!

We both CRACKED up!!! If you only knew how much they were alike!!

Me: one more penny makes it 8.

Dad: Yep, he's just like me. :cheesy: Why is Kmart selling it for Ten Bucks?

Me: I don't know, is it the same thing?

Dad: Yes, I think so....why would Kmart sell it for 10$ and the market sell it for 7.99?

Me: I don't know.... maybe it isn't the same thing.... I go to the market all the time, want me to pick you up some?

Dad: naww, I'll get it. I just can't figure why Kmart sells it for more.

Me: You big goof. *hugs him good bye*

***I adore that old man, he's a good soul!.... and makes me laugh every time we are together.***

[scootebaby]

JO: :passinggas:
Me: honey u didnt give full disclosure about "things" in the beginning
Jo: ur just rubbing off on me
Me: whens the last time you heard me :passinggas:
Jo: last night---you made my eyes bleed
Me: :blink:
Jo: :rofl:

[WingsOnFire]

Damon: "I am backing up (the show we were watching) because I am confused"

Me: "I stay confused"

Damon: "I am not suprised living in a house with me"

Me: (playing on my computer not EVEN thinking of what I was saying) "You can say that again!"

Damon: :|:blink: :| :blink: "Did you not think I could hear that?!?! I am not completely deaf you know."

Me: :hiding: "Oops!"

[Ebon]

Me: Hey baby they changed the date for the rapture!

Gemme: OMG so they are having a re-rapture?

:poc-lol::poc-love:

[DapperButch]

Scene: My friend of 9 years is in the kitchen talking with my g.f., while my g.f. is cooking. This past weekend is the first time these two have met, even though my partner and myself have been together for two years.

After complimenting my g.f. on her general awesomeness, my friend asks, "How did [Dapper] ever get you?", in utter seriousness.

:|

[weatherboi]

Ms: She will have to be the first to go during the zombie apocalypse because she will sell us out for sex.
Me: :crackingup:

[shadows papa]

Me and Miss Pinky discussing a rental house...

Me: "This isn't too bad, it's out in the country, partially fenced backyard"

Miss Pinky: (looking at interior pics of home) "There's nothing like a black fridge with a white stove"

Me: "I never would have noticed if you hadn't said something"

Miss Pinky: "Well overall it isn't too bad but it's about as ugly as I can go,we can't rent anything any uglier...ok??"

Me:"So this is your ugly quotient? We can't exceed it???"

Miss Pinky is now giving me the HAIRY EYEBALL!!!

[Gemme]

Me: I'm going to drink my wine float and post something.

Ebon: Oh, Jesus. :|

Me (going to my computer and seeing that the cpu is on): Oh, crap! I left Bessie on all night!

Me: (turning the monitor on and a program I never use coming up): WTF?

Ebon: Oh, shit. I was watching porn and forgot to turn it off before you got home.

Me: I hope you washed your hands before you typed on Bessie.

:blink:

[Outlaw]

I was talking about a VIRUS when from the bedroom... I said laud enough for the boy and the whole world to hear...

Outlaw: "Yeah, why is it that every time I get it, it's harder AND longer?"

Fishinabaggie: (said something inaudible given the snickering)

I should be in bed, but I can't sleep over the din of her haughty laughter.

[Gemme]

Last night Ebon and I are in bed, chatting as we usually do before we go to sleep and the conversation went something like this:

Ebon: If we do break up, I'm going to stalk you.

Me: What? You'll leave your fiery vagina to stalk your ex?

Ebon: Yeah, and I'll watch you through the window. I'll watch you while you cook and while you watch your TV shows.

Me: You'll stalk me and watch me watch TV?

Ebon: Yeah.

Me: That's sad.

Ebon: Eh.

Me: I can't get you to watch my shows with me NOW, and we're in a relationship, but you'll watch them with me while you stalk me after we've broken up? That's fucked up. :blink:

Ebon: :rofl:

[scootebaby]

Jo and i are sitting on the couch after dinner eating some Crunchn Munch i had gotten earlier at the store--seems we both are very addicted to it and we mention worrying about eating the whole box

Me:honey,i think ur right we ARE gonna eat the whole box
Jo: Why you thinking im eating so fast?(she was shoveling this stuff in)
Me: trying to get full quicker so you dont?
Jo: no so i can get more than you!

:| :rofl: thats my baby!!

[JustJo]

Jo and i are sitting on the couch after dinner eating some Crunchn Munch i had gotten earlier at the store--seems we both are very addicted to it and we mention worrying about eating the whole box

Me:honey,i think ur right we ARE gonna eat the whole box
Jo: Why you thinking im eating so fast?(she was shoveling this stuff in)
Me: trying to get full quicker so you dont?
Jo: no so i can get more than you!

:| :rofl: thats my baby!!

Well....it worked, didn't it? :winky:

[scootebaby]

Well....it worked, didn't it? :winky:

uh yeah..but you still ate the WHOLE box :blink:

[JustJo]

uh yeah..but you still ate the WHOLE box :blink:


Fibber!!! I ate 2/3 of a box. :cheesy:

[bigbutchmistie]

So Simon is such a good boy. Trained him well. That is til tonight lol . I'm picking up the apt and cooking. He's usually under my feet. As I throw things in fridge away that's expired he goes in the bedroom and fleetingly I think hmmm that's weird he's usually up my ass. So I continue on and a knock comes to the door and its my neighbor. We stand there talking for a few minutes when I hear this blood curling squeal. I freak out and rush inside and he has gotten himself in the trash can after the bolognq I threw away and couldn't get out LMAO scared me to death.

[scootebaby]

well i figure since i exaggerate the sweet,giving,nice side of you i might as well do the same on the opposite end.

[suebee]

Me to cockatoo: STOP THROWING BANANAS AT THE DOGS!

[durrrrrrrr]

ow, that hurts !

me: it's not suppose to hurt, it's suppose to be romantic

[Gemme]

ow, that hurts !

me: it's not suppose to hurt, it's suppose to be romantic

Don't break the wimsi!!!

We like HER.

:eyebrow:

[jelli]

Banjo, our Pom, picked out a cute lil baby dragon from the petstore. Cruel was sitting in recliner and Banjo kept putting the dragon on the arm of the chair and licking it.

Cruel: "Banjo, why do you keep licking your baby dragon?"

Me: "If you had a baby dragon you'd lick it too."

[msW8ing]

While sitting and watching "Two Fat Ladies" A cooking show that just cracks me up I love those ladies. One was making a kind of bread and I didn't hear what she called it.
Me to my daughter: Is she making spotted dick? (which is an english bread )
My daughter: ROFLMAO so hard she had tears
Me: very mature for a 21 yr old
My daughter: ahahahahahahaha those are words I never thought I'd ever hear from you Mama (while she is still rofl)

[durrrrrrrr]

me: 10 more nuts and I get another life

Wimsi: that's nice honey, hope you get your nuts

( few minutes later )

me: YAY !

Wimsi: you must of got your 10 nuts, I am proud of you :|

[scootebaby]

driving to the beach today

Me: look honey a produce stand
Jo: doesnt look very good,they dont have anything
Me: :blink: umm its Sunday they're closed
Me: ( starting to laugh so hard im about to pee on myself)
Jo: ( trying to pinch my arm) you need to lose some weight so i can get a grip on u!
Me: :|

:rofl:

[JustJo]

driving to the beach today

Me: look honey a produce stand
Jo: doesnt look very good,they dont have anything
Me: :blink: umm its Sunday they're closed
Me: ( starting to laugh so hard im about to pee on myself)
Jo: ( trying to pinch my arm) you need to lose some weight so i can get a grip on u!
Me: :|

:rofl:

Don't worry...she paid me back.
Tonight, after making dinner, unloading the dishwasher....

Scoote: You never do anything for me. (said with a smirk)

Me: I made you dinner.

Scoote: Well you never make me anything else.

Me: I made you jello, and chocolate trifle and...

Scoote (interrupting) : Well, I don't have any hard-boiled eggs, do I????

:blink:

[SimpleAlaskanBoy]

daisy: I'm getting ready to watch eyebrow shaping videos, I KNOW you're excited!
Me: says nothing, just keeps scratching the cat behind the ears...
daisy: (rummaging around) You know what I need when we go to the dollar store this month?! I need a FUCKING hand mirror!

[christie]

While modeling my new pink converse, "You know you are old when you have to putcha ortho insoles in your new kicks!"

[Andrea]

My honey and I are having a common conversation with me asking why I married him after he does a particularly boy type thing...

Rene: Mumbles something I don't understand....
Me: What did you say?
Rene: Starts with the history of the earth (or so it seemed to me), blah, blah, blah.....Beyonce....blah, blah, blah.....song.....blah, blah, blah....
Me: So you did a parody on a song? Guess I am a little slow today.
Rene: Slow? In a race between you and a snail, I am betting on the snail.

I laughed AFTER I punched him in the arm.

[scootebaby]

sitting on the couch the other evening...me on one side Jo on the other...im talking about the Prince needing a haircut and this and that and Jo pops off with

"honey,you need a haircut too. You're losing your mullet"

me: :|

Jo: :rofl:

[scootebaby]

shit heard around Lowes today.

as i was wheeling all the mulch,compost and soil out to the car some bags fell off...while jo went to unload her hands i went againt a direct order and picked up the soil bags and laid them back on the pile...well i shouldnt have done that...Jo sent me back inside the Garden Center to give them some empty plastic planters...as i walked i had a realization so as i walked back to where Jo was i kinda yelled out...

"yanno back in my young dyke days,with a little more shoulder action this was my swag walk....now its my "oh god my back hurts so bad i can barely walk" walk!

:lol2:

[christie]

Jess and I were out and about today near the Blue Ridge Parkway. There is one stretch of Highway 58 that seems to have an "antique/junk" shop every 15 feet.

It was sweltering today on the mountain. We were tired, hot and were picking and choosing which shops we wanted to stop at. Jess spotted one coming up and said, "I don't think we want to stop at that one," and proceeds to zoom on past.

Aghast as missing one that obviously had some of the things that we collect, "But Daddy! Thats the GOOD junk!"

Needless to say, there was a Uturn. I love how my Jess indulges me!

[christie]

I have been in the kitchen most of the day, making preserves, jams, syrups and canning them. I still have things all over the place because I am not nearly done for the night - just taking a break while Jess makes dinner.

Jess is overly tidy and organized in the kitchen. Thirty plus years of being a professional chef means that my different organization (to Jess, its disorganized) makes Jess' head want to explode. However, she works around it, usually without complaint.

I just heard noises that sounded like my canning crap is getting in the way. Followed by, "When's the mercury retrograde supposed to be over?"

Me: "I dunno, but I don't think its any time soon."

Jess, VERY perturbed: "Well, it needs to hurry the fuck on up!"

I couldn't agree more....

[Gemme]

Ebon and I were driving down the road and slowed at a red light. I stopped just behind a turn in for a Sonic and then I realized that it was the entrance opening and not the exit, so I scooted up some in case someone behind me wanted in.

No sooner did I do that, but some lady took the long way around the parking lot and came up to the entrance to exit, which was blocked by me at that point. I started mumbling about her just "having" to wait until I'd pulled up and yada yada yada about her going out the wrong way and just fussing in general.

Ebon rubs my shoulder and says, "Don't beat yourself up. It's not your fault. How could you know that she'd do that? Don't worry about it. Let's talk about something else." in an incredibly annoying tone of voice.

Insert the creation, deliverance and receipt of "THE EYE" from me to him.

I say, "Do NOT dismiss me!"

Ebon says, as he pats my knee, "I'm not, honey. I'm just being patronizing."

:|

Let's just say, the man is DAMN lucky the light changed at that moment.

[DapperButch]

Ebon and I were driving down the road and slowed at a red light. I stopped just behind a turn in for a Sonic and then I realized that it was the entrance opening and not the exit, so I scooted up some in case someone behind me wanted in.

No sooner did I do that, but some lady took the long way around the parking lot and came up to the entrance to exit, which was blocked by me at that point. I started mumbling about her just "having" to wait until I'd pulled up and yada yada yada about her going out the wrong way and just fussing in general.

Ebon rubs my shoulder and says, "Don't beat yourself up. It's not your fault. How could you know that she'd do that? Don't worry about it. Let's talk about something else." in an incredibly annoying tone of voice.

Insert the creation, deliverance and receipt of "THE EYE" from me to him.

I say, "Do NOT dismiss me!"

Ebon says, as he pats my knee, "I'm not, honey. I'm just being patronizing."

:|

Let's just say, the man is DAMN lucky the light changed at that moment.

I love Ebon!

:rofl::cracked::superfunny:

[Scorp]

LMFAO!!! Sorry Gemme, but that is just too damn funny because he sounds a bit like me...LOLOL

Ebon and I were driving down the road and slowed at a red light. I stopped just behind a turn in for a Sonic and then I realized that it was the entrance opening and not the exit, so I scooted up some in case someone behind me wanted in.

No sooner did I do that, but some lady took the long way around the parking lot and came up to the entrance to exit, which was blocked by me at that point. I started mumbling about her just "having" to wait until I'd pulled up and yada yada yada about her going out the wrong way and just fussing in general.

Ebon rubs my shoulder and says, "Don't beat yourself up. It's not your fault. How could you know that she'd do that? Don't worry about it. Let's talk about something else." in an incredibly annoying tone of voice.

Insert the creation, deliverance and receipt of "THE EYE" from me to him.

I say, "Do NOT dismiss me!"

Ebon says, as he pats my knee, "I'm not, honey. I'm just being patronizing."

:|

Let's just say, the man is DAMN lucky the light changed at that moment.

[Gemme]

I love Ebon!

:rofl::cracked::superfunny:

LMFAO!!! Sorry Gemme, but that is just too damn funny because he sounds a bit like me...LOLOL

No apologies necessary. We torment one another regularly and both of us have a VERY sharp edge to our wit.

I'll get him back.

:eyebrow:

[always2late]

My friend and I discussing how fast our kids are growing up:

L: Oh my God, they are getting so big so fast. It makes me feel so old. Do you realize I'm almost 28?

Me: Are you crazy?? I WISH I was 28! You DO realize I'm 43 right?

L: Yeah, but you're like the Halle Berry 43 and I'm the Gary Coleman 28!!


*I laughed so hard I almost wet my pants...sigh another sign of getting older. LOL*

[christie]

So I have this canning/jam addiction. It requires many things from Wally World. We live 60 miles from anywhere other than Wally World, so in as much as I dislike their employment practices as well as it being a concerted effort to buy things NOT made in china, we do support our local economy quite a bit. Especially when I am canning.

If Jess is driving (which happens most times, I commute enough during the week, I usually don't drive any on the weekends), it takes her SO long to get situated and get the car started and out of the parking lot. Its usually 8000 degrees and all I want is the AC on and to escape the parking lot before another person decides to engage me in some inane conversation telling me their woes.

We have had many, many, many, MANY conversations (ok, me snipping at Jess, really) about how long it takes to take cigarettes out of pocket, find sunglasses, put on seatbelt, fumble for cigarettes, take one out of the pack, put the pack back in the console, fumble for a lighter that has usually fallen to the bottom of the console, check the seatbelt and FINALLY, bless the gods, put the key in the ignition and turn on the AC. All while I have been melting in the passenger seat, wishing I had gotten a couple of bottles of water to stave off the dehydration sure to ensue. Don't even get me started on how long it actually takes to back out of the parking space and drive the 500 feet to the highway. I should start packing a lunch.

Last weekend, we get the cart unloaded, hop in the car and I suppose I *might* have given Jess "the LOOK" and a, "HONEY!!!" as the pre-flight check began. Not missing a beat, she looks over at me and says, "I bet I can get you out of this parking lot in 30 minutes or less! Just like Domino's pizza, baby!"

I might have laughed till I cried and maybe wet myself a lil! :blink::cracked:

[Jess]

hrmph... I have YET to have an accident in a parking lot... safety first baby, I gots precious cargo on board! :cigar2:

[Kenna]

So I have this canning/jam addiction. It requires many things from Wally World. We live 60 miles from anywhere other than Wally World, so in as much as I dislike their employment practices as well as it being a concerted effort to buy things NOT made in china, we do support our local economy quite a bit. Especially when I am canning.

If Jess is driving (which happens most times, I commute enough during the week, I usually don't drive any on the weekends), it takes her SO long to get situated and get the car started and out of the parking lot. Its usually 8000 degrees and all I want is the AC on and to escape the parking lot before another person decides to engage me in some inane conversation telling me their woes.

We have had many, many, many, MANY conversations (ok, me snipping at Jess, really) about how long it takes to take cigarettes out of pocket, find sunglasses, put on seatbelt, fumble for cigarettes, take one out of the pack, put the pack back in the console, fumble for a lighter that has usually fallen to the bottom of the console, check the seatbelt and FINALLY, bless the gods, put the key in the ignition and turn on the AC. All while I have been melting in the passenger seat, wishing I had gotten a couple of bottles of water to stave off the dehydration sure to ensue. Don't even get me started on how long it actually takes to back out of the parking space and drive the 500 feet to the highway. I should start packing a lunch.

Last weekend, we get the cart unloaded, hop in the car and I suppose I *might* have given Jess "the LOOK" and a, "HONEY!!!" as the pre-flight check began. Not missing a beat, she looks over at me and says, "I bet I can get you out of this parking lot in 30 minutes or less! Just like Domino's pizza, baby!"

I might have laughed till I cried and maybe wet myself a lil! :blink::cracked:

hrmph... I have YET to have an accident in a parking lot... safety first baby, I gots precious cargo on board! :cigar2:

:p :p :giggle: :giggle:
priceless!! safety first, indeed. At least you weren't like me, sitting in a parked car waiting on my son...when a woman in an SUV hit me, then proceeded to say "I was on the cell phone and didn't see you."

Did someone mention that it would take less time to walk home from Wally World?

[Gentle Tiger]

Ebon and I were driving down the road and slowed at a red light. I stopped just behind a turn in for a Sonic and then I realized that it was the entrance opening and not the exit, so I scooted up some in case someone behind me wanted in.

No sooner did I do that, but some lady took the long way around the parking lot and came up to the entrance to exit, which was blocked by me at that point. I started mumbling about her just "having" to wait until I'd pulled up and yada yada yada about her going out the wrong way and just fussing in general.

Ebon rubs my shoulder and says, "Don't beat yourself up. It's not your fault. How could you know that she'd do that? Don't worry about it. Let's talk about something else." in an incredibly annoying tone of voice.

Insert the creation, deliverance and receipt of "THE EYE" from me to him.

I say, "Do NOT dismiss me!"

Ebon says, as he pats my knee, "I'm not, honey. I'm just being patronizing."

:|

Let's just say, the man is DAMN lucky the light changed at that moment.

I love Ebon!

:rofl::cracked::superfunny:

LMFAO!!! Sorry Gemme, but that is just too damn funny because he sounds a bit like me...LOLOL

No apologies necessary. We torment one another regularly and both of us have a VERY sharp edge to our wit.

I'll get him back.

:eyebrow:

:cracked::rofl::cracked::rofl:

Reason# 86 why I enjoy watching you two.

[Gemme]

So I have this canning/jam addiction. It requires many things from Wally World. We live 60 miles from anywhere other than Wally World, so in as much as I dislike their employment practices as well as it being a concerted effort to buy things NOT made in china, we do support our local economy quite a bit. Especially when I am canning.

If Jess is driving (which happens most times, I commute enough during the week, I usually don't drive any on the weekends), it takes her SO long to get situated and get the car started and out of the parking lot. Its usually 8000 degrees and all I want is the AC on and to escape the parking lot before another person decides to engage me in some inane conversation telling me their woes.

We have had many, many, many, MANY conversations (ok, me snipping at Jess, really) about how long it takes to take cigarettes out of pocket, find sunglasses, put on seatbelt, fumble for cigarettes, take one out of the pack, put the pack back in the console, fumble for a lighter that has usually fallen to the bottom of the console, check the seatbelt and FINALLY, bless the gods, put the key in the ignition and turn on the AC. All while I have been melting in the passenger seat, wishing I had gotten a couple of bottles of water to stave off the dehydration sure to ensue. Don't even get me started on how long it actually takes to back out of the parking space and drive the 500 feet to the highway. I should start packing a lunch.

Last weekend, we get the cart unloaded, hop in the car and I suppose I *might* have given Jess "the LOOK" and a, "HONEY!!!" as the pre-flight check began. Not missing a beat, she looks over at me and says, "I bet I can get you out of this parking lot in 30 minutes or less! Just like Domino's pizza, baby!"

I might have laughed till I cried and maybe wet myself a lil! :blink::cracked:

:giggle:

I tend to take a while to get going too, however, what happens when I get in the car is the following:

get in
pull skirt in, if wearing one, cuz they always drag
shut door
lock door
turn key
a/c on

THEN, and only then, I fiddle with the other stuff.

I melt too.

[DapperButch]

Doesn't anybody open the windows to get all the hot air out before turning on the A/C? Only for a moment or two. As you take your turns to ride through/get out of the parking lot the cross winds really blow the hot air out. Much more efficient, I think! ;)

Of course, I get in the car and immediately start moving as soon as the seat belt clicks.

[Andrea]

It was our 4th anniversary and began with an early morning snuggle. Rene surprised me by bringing me flowers at work. I surprised him by taking the rest of the day off.

We went for dinner at our favorite restaurant and had a wonderful time and had a great time celebrating our love. We then sat on our patio and enjoyed the breeze and each others company. I had some things to do inside so bent and kissed his cheek as I always do.

Me: I love you, whiskers and all.

There is a pause as I began walking toward the house.....

Rene: Ditto!!

Wonder if there will be a 5th anniversary. :blink:

[girl_dee]

"you can let those cupcakes cookies cool up there beside the whips"


:|

[weatherboi]

"it would suck to be cupid"

[msW8ing]

Conversation with a friend about her email getting "hacked" into..when in reality Hy was stoopid enough to share Hys password with someone else.
Me: Umm you're an idiot..paranoid much?
Hym: Look, just because I'm paranoid doesn't mean there isn't people watching me, waiting to fuck with my head and shit.
Me::cracked:

[princessbelle]

Bella (whining to get up on my desk and lay with her pink blankie)

Belle: OMG i didnt' realize when i got a girl it was like having a kid most of the time.

Bully: :|

* followed by a LOT of laughter.

[genghisfawn]

I live alone, but I have a friend who hangs out at my house mainly for the normalcy in it...

*we're outside in the back parking lot in winter*

Britt: You know... I just can't get good pictures these days.
Me: Look. There are some dead fall sunflowers against that shabby fence. Tres photogenic.
Britt: *wrinkles nose* Hipster bullshit. It's what's for breakfast.

[princessbelle]

Putting away groceries this afternoon and handing Bully a cucumber

Belle: You know, i can carry it in my back pocket and use it when i want to.

Bully: :sunglass:



disclosure: I was talking about SOMETHING but it wasn't the cucumber :praying:

[clay]

talking to a friend, on phone....
ME: dangggg, I can NOT believe that...you should see what I just did
HER: Wha??? Whaa??? Tell me...
ME:
I just finished eating a cup of Chobani Greek Yogurt..and was running my tongue inside to get rest of it...
My tongue reached the bottom, which is almost 2 inches deep, and still could lick the bottom of the cup.....<grin>
HER: OMG! That should be labelled a "WMD" weapon of mass destruction....:|

[Bard]

"ok lay it on me"....


"stop licking my ass my ass"


"no biting off the nipples"


things said to the dog today :|

and not by me

OK add get off my hair to the list

[bright_arrow]

"ok lay it on me"....


"stop licking my ass my ass"


"no biting off the nipples"


things said to the dog today :|

and not by me

OK add get off my hair to the list

Dog likes to abuse me :|

[Maria]

From a text:

M1: Come be wheat and sugar free with me this weekend. I have no lead water, a normal pap, and fresh basil.

M2: You had me at normal pap.

M1: Ha!

M2: Too bad you don't have a juicer.

M1: That can be changed....

[genghisfawn]

My upstairs neighbour has a beautiful baritone singing voice, and likes to sing hymns while he's cleaning. Today...

Neighbour: *sings "How Can I Keep From Singing?"*
Me: *chimes in on high harmony*
Neighbour: *stops* Come up here and sing that to my face!

:D

[sylvie]

Anonymous: step awayyyyyyyyy from the turnips
Anonymous: no clubbing Daddy with a turnip
Anonymous: googling body armor that can sustain turnip beatings

*names removed to protect the innocent*
(that would be me, being a good girl!)

[Random]

"There is only only one cranky/crabby person in this relationship and that person is NOT you... "

*I can be cranky...*

"No you can't...... STOP IT, I don't want to be in relationship with myself.. you are my easy going sweet girl, I want you back..."


It was soon discovered that Mitmo was coming down with her yearly cold and yes, is allowed to be cranky/crabby at that time...

[always2late]

My honey's 92 year old father lives with us. The other day I was making lunch for everyone and asked him what he wanted to eat

Pop: Well, I wanted to have some eggs, but we don't have any more

Me: There are a dozen eggs in the fridge

Pop: But they are those organic eggs (said in the same tone of voice with which someone would say "You don't have milk, you only have chocolate milk")

:blink:

[Inked_Trinity]

(horn honking outside) " At least that wasn't a pussy horn! When I honk my horn I mean business! I don't want it to sound like some demented squirrel fart! "

[girl_dee]

"get your tongue out of my nostril"

[chai~]

"ooowww!!! I just took you're vibrator to my head!!!"

I asked for a pillow.
The pillow was thrown at my head.
The pillow has a built in "massager/vibrator".
Nuff said!

[always2late]

Both of us half-asleep...

Hym: Did you know Ipecac gets rid of ticks

Me: :blink:

[Queerasfck]

Phone conversation.

Me: "I'm going to pack in Portland."

She: "me too, 24/7"

[Kenna]

Me: ...Skip, why don't you clean Willy's ears?
Blade: ... (speaking as Skip's voice) cause I don't like his ears and he doesn't like my tongue "...

[princessbelle]

A long powerful noise in the middle of a thunderstorm

Belle: *running through the house, eyes wide and scared half to death....
"OMG DID YOU HEAR THAT THUNDER? IS IT A TORNADO?"

Bully: No, no, no. It's all ok honey. It was me banging on my ottoman because the Lady Vols just missed an easy shot.

Belle: :|

[genghisfawn]

The neighbours across the hall...

Him: For the last time, I want you to quit your job!
Her: No way. I don't see you working.
Him: If you quit your job it would give me a reason to look.

*shaking my head*

[SugarFemme]

Kid: Mama...I'm freezing!!

Me: Cover yourself up with the blanket.

Kid: It's too hot!!

Excuse me while I recover my eyes that just rolled around to the back of my head LOL

[always2late]

"Oh wow, I can smell your pickle!"
:blink:

[princessbelle]

Bully: Ohhhhhhh how bout makin some of those good ole biscuits and gravy you make.

Belle: I don't have any biscuits

Bully: Well, make them, like you did last time.

Belle: Honey, those were from a can. Did you really think that i made those huge fluffy biscuits by scratch?

Bully: Ummm yes i did. I do believe you were being duplicitous.

Belle: :|

[SelfMadeMan]

A conversation between me, Sarah, our 15yo daughter, who knows I am trans, and her friend Alex, who does NOT know I am trans... in the kitchen with me while I was cooking dinner last year...

Sarah: Hey, Chuck Norris is transgender...

Me: Sarah - Chuck Norris is so NOT transgender!

Sarah: Um, yeah, I'm pretty sure he is, I saw it on TV

(random arguing between Sarah and I about this...)

Me: Sarah, I don't know what you *think* you saw or heard, but Chuck Norris is most certainly not transgender.

Alex: Yeah, he's right Sarah.... and besides, you can tell when someone is transgender.

Sarah and I were both like :huhlaugh:

[aishah]

me: i just reserve the right to disagree with you about how hot you are.
my partner: you definitely feel like you have the right to express your opinion. (he then referenced a mutual friend of ours - they both have a habit of making jokingly misogynist comments like "look at the little woman thinking she has the right to express her opinion.")
me: femmes do have the inalienable right to express our opinions or else you have the inalienable right to an ass-kicking. just saying.

[Ms. Tabitha]

Heard on Skype

... "I'm looking for evil chicken and cockatrice eggs"

I can't even think of a response for this statement :|

[Kenna]

email received: I was told about it by a femme in here...

email response: You mean they bottle up femme's and place them in here like a Ginni in a bottle? Can I rub one and get three wishes :tongue: :awww:

[Miss Scarlett]

"I can't text you and hold my weiner..." :rofl:

[Gemme]

Baby Luv to Luv: "No! Wait! You are a bad boi!"

It's not so much as what she said as the look on Luv's face when she said it.

I think we both pulled a :|

[puddin']

we were all in da midst o' cyber sex when her daughter-in-law crashed in and ruined our fun, i'm still poutin'...

[princessbelle]

Last night laying in bed...

Belle: Wow it's so freaking quiet, isn't it?
Bully: Yeah it is.

After about a minute or two
Belle: I don't hear birds or dogs or the AC, it's just weird it's so quiet
Bully: I like the quiet.

After another couple of minutes
Belle: I don't think it's ever been this quite before. Don't you think it's really, really quiet?
Bully: No, not really. :|

[Little Fish]

Me: Dude. Seriously??? There is blue toothpaste on the bathroom ceiling--how does that even happen??

8yo Mancub: Mommy, I was brushing my teeth.....

Me: HOW ???

8yo Mancub: I was brushing them REALLY well....

I just looked at him and started to laugh, "That was perfect grammar, com'ere get a hug!"

[clay]

Miss Scarlett: Honey, I wish I could sit on my balls
ME::seeingstars:
Miss Scarlett: Oh honey, not THOSE kinds of balls...the tennis balls....to help with massaging my glutes...
ME::seeingstars:

[Miss Scarlett]

Miss Scarlett: Honey, I wish I could sit on my balls
ME::seeingstars:
Miss Scarlett: Oh honey, not THOSE kinds of balls...the tennis balls....to help with massaging my glutes...
ME::seeingstars:

LOL...the look on your face was priceless and i've never seen that shade of red before...:giggle:

[JistMe]

Gymnastics was on TV one day when my oldest was really little. I wasn't really paying attention to it, but noticed her looking bored. I said "What do you want to be when you grow up Kenzie?"

She said "I wanna do flip-flops on that board and hurt myself." (pointing at the TV... it was balance beam) lmao

[justkim]

During a phone conversation this week...
Kobi... The cat is whining about food again...
Me... She is acting out again, you need to tell her your da boss...
Me... Repeat after me... You da boss...
*quiet*
Kobi... Can I start with you first? I'm da boss...
*snicker*
Me... yeah well... ummm... no... nice try though...
*fits of laughter*

[Babyangeleyez]

I had to post this conversation between my neighbor and I. It was a long time ago, but we still laugh about it today.

Neighbor: Lisa, you have to smell this new stuff I got.
Me: What is it?
Neighbor: Febreze.
Me: *takes bottle turns the knob, squeezes handle, turns knob, squeezes handle*. Ree, how do you get it to spray.
Neighbor: Turn the knob at the end.
Me: I did.
Neighbor: What does it say on the knob?
Me: It says "Off, No, Off, No"
Neighbor: Bust out laughing hysterically - Lisa, it "Off, ON, OFF, ON" not no.
Me: Busted out laughing from blonde moment. I was reading it upside down.

[The JD]

"That is the ugliest sneeze ever. The sound of it, the look of it, the repetitive nature of it. Every bit of it is ugly."

[cinnamongrrl]

Teddy (to man in the middle of the street) are you gonna cross or what?!?
HORN BEEPS....waving of hand out the window.....swearing ensues
Me: Honey, that's a cop directing traffic.
Teddy: no its not....oh yes it is.....

:fastdraq:

[Teddybear]

Teddy (to man in the middle of the street) are you gonna cross or what?!?
HORN BEEPS....waving of hand out the window.....swearing ensues
Me: Honey, that's a cop directing traffic.
Teddy: no its not....oh yes it is.....

:fastdraq:



ok it isnt something I see often i thought it was some1 trying to cross the street, I DIDNT wave my hand out the window across it yes out it NO

NOW i know y he was looking at me funny when i blew the horn at him

[Little Fish]

8yo Mancub found jumping on the bed.

Me: Well it's clear to me we have to go to the doctor next week.
Boy: (between jumps) why....Mom...my...I....feel...fine....
Me: because I say "get dressed and brush your teeth" but you hear "this would be an excellent time to jump on the bed in my underpants and drive my mother insane!!!"
Boy: (laughs-still jumping) o...Kay...Mom...my...I'll....go ....with....you...(he starts to giggle)....if.....you're....good.....you'll....get .....a......sticker!!
Me: Dude. You did not just play me like that....(laughing)
Boy: oh yes I did!!! (laughing)
Me: I'll give you $500 if you brush your teeth and put on some clothes.
Boy: REALLY?!?!
Me: No, not really. But I will feed you breakfast. And stop jumping on that bed or Ill duct tape you to the chair.
Boy: oh yeah, I hated that....worst 5 minutes ever...

[scootebaby]

sitting at a stoplight after lunch today...

dixie:aww look honey a poodle

me: :looking around:

dixie: oh nevermind its just an old ladys head

me: :|

dixe and me : :cracked:

[dixie]

sitting at a stoplight after lunch today...

dixie:aww look honey a poodle

me: :looking around:

dixie: oh nevermind its just an old ladys head

me: :|

dixe and me : :cracked:

Hey now! I told you I thought it was about time for my next eye exam! Lol

[laruss]

8yo Mancub found jumping on the bed.

Me: Well it's clear to me we have to go to the doctor next week.
Boy: (between jumps) why....Mom...my...I....feel...fine....
Me: because I say "get dressed and brush your teeth" but you hear "this would be an excellent time to jump on the bed in my underpants and drive my mother insane!!!"
Boy: (laughs-still jumping) o...Kay...Mom...my...I'll....go ....with....you...(he starts to giggle)....if.....you're....good.....you'll....get .....a......sticker!!
Me: Dude. You did not just play me like that....(laughing)
Boy: oh yes I did!!! (laughing)
Me: I'll give you $500 if you brush your teeth and put on some clothes.
Boy: REALLY?!?!
Me: No, not really. But I will feed you breakfast. And stop jumping on that bed or Ill duct tape you to the chair.
Boy: oh yeah, I hated that....worst 5 minutes ever...

laughed so hard I fell off my chair... no really I did. :blink:

[Little Fish]

laughed so hard I fell off my chair... no really I did. :blink:

That's not saying much, you routinely walk into door frames, trip on perfectly flat, dry floors....and fall off chairs. Have you poked yourself in the eye with your glasses yet today?

[Little Fish]

In the car this morning with the 8yo Mancub, the following conversation took place.

(quietly driving to camp...)
Mancub: Mommy, you should stay away from the Zombie Pig Man if you can, they only want one thing.

Me:Whhaaaa...??? ---who is Zombie Pig Man??

Mancub: Well he's really not the worst thing you just gotta be careful.

Me:Well, that seems wise. Which is worse? The zombie part or the pig part?

Mancub:Well, he's not really a man. He's just a Zombie Pig....."AN UNDEAD PIG?"...(said in that tone of voice that questions both my experience with pigs as well as zombies)...and also, you get 10 hearts in the beginning, to stay alive...

Me: Much like in life I think...the more hearts you have, the better...

Mancub:Moooommmyyyyyy.....!! (whiny voice because I've just derailed him)

Me:I love metaphors in the morning. It smells like intellect.

Mancub:*sigh* Please turn on the radio.

[girl_dee]

me to Syr "ok, my fruit is dripping"

[Kenna]

after I've returned to the house, sitting here posting about things I'm thankful for...
my phone beeps a text
I read: "I'll KILL YA!" ...
Me: :blink: :blink: :confused: :confused: "What the hell did I do now?"

no answer

Me: "I turned the stove off!"

no answer

Me: "WHAT??!!"

phone beeps (typos adding to comedy): "Whn did u put a bottle of water full of lemon juice in my fridge... and do you know what it feels like coming oit of yoir nose"

Me: OMFG!!!
Me: I didn't put it in the fridge!! You must have picked it up from counter!

2 minutes later, beep: I turned up the bottle and took a big gulp it shocked me so bad it spewed out my nose OMG!

me: OMFG!!! ROFLMAO!!! LMAO!!!! (while recalling he had done the same thing recently at a restaurant with a friend)

me: Where's the video?

them: It was cd and in fridge and LEMONY, LOL ... tbe first thing I thought was damn that was cruel... im killin her!

Me: CLEANS out your sinuses

them: LORD what is a comical night

Me: Can't kill me when I already ran out door!! .... you don't need to snort salt water now!!

them: LOL

Me: Are you okay?...... if you are, I am still laughing!!

them: yeah im ok it was just a shock

Me: Thought I ran over your dog the way you yelled!

..... later on, after texting about dog medicine...

Me: you sure aspirin will help him? It won't hurt him like it does a little kid?

Them: real asporin

Me: (chuckling at them using their new phone, and the voice commands that can't understand a southern accent) Ok, I'll see if they sell ASPORIN...

them: "sticks tongue out at u"

Me: bet it still tastes like lemon!!

them: LOL yeah it kinda does!

Me: :p

[Kenna]

(after a friend's best buddy -a gay guy- stated "all you lipstick lesbians love Bass Pro Shop instead of Victoria Secrets!"...)

Me: tell him...lipstick lesbians can't handle heavy machinery while wearing high heals and corsets! but when they change into their Timberlands and "I'm the boss" t-shirt...WATCH OUT!

Them: LOL...I'll do that...

Me: I'll just wear my corset under my t-shirt ;-) to make him happy to call me lipstick lesbian... ;-) :cheesy:

Them: hahahahahahaha ... you crack me up!

Me: Just as long as you aren't allergic to super glue!

Them: LOL STOP

Me: If I crack you up...then I know what to get for your stocking stuffers every Xmas...

Them: Too funny

Me: joint compound and grout floats!

Them: LOL... STOP!!

Me: Not until you cry out "stop tickling me!! Or I'll need pull-ups!" ...

Them: stop tickling me... I'm not going to admit to pull-ups!

Me: squish squish...swish swash (referencing their baby niece that was wearing old fashioned rubber diaper covers when she got into the water and "squished and swished" as she walked...)

Me: love to see you smile

Them: I am smiling and chuckling...

[Jess]

" no more zombie licking! " :chasingzombie: