Our Answers To Big Questions

[Blade]

I have a book called The Little Book of Big Questions. It has some interesting questions for thought in it, also has the author's idea of an answer.

I'll post a question for discussion, probably not every day but once or twice a week. Lets hear your views, who knows we may come across something we need to make a new thread topic for.

Question #1 1-23-11

What makes people wish for things they don't have?

[The_Lady_Snow]

Greed, Lust, Desire, Fantasy, Fetishizing, Hunger.

[Blade]

Yep I thought of those things Snowy....I also thought of need.

Then again I thought of myself who has been quite blessed but still wish for things that I don't have. Certainly there are things I will never have. Then again there are things that will make my dreams and wishes come true.

I guess our wishes could be monetary, financial, emotional...could be a lot of things. But I think you are mostly right in your post. I think though we wish for things we don't have, the wishing gives us the drive to success, so that we can attain those wishes.

[The_Lady_Snow]

There's a difference between need and want, I answered from my own POV.. You're right though if you don't have what we call basic needs, then need is something I should of addressed.

[Soft*Silver]

I think its more complicated than just listing the seven deadly sins or a similar list.

if that were so, people of simplere cultures than ours would also covet things they did not have and that just isnt so across the board. At least not in the degree we Americans see. And not even across the board in all the strataspheres in our own culture. The key to coveting is in the degree of capitalism that one participates in or is subjected to. Before TV, if one was poor, people often claimed they didnt know they were poor and didnt care if the neighbors had more or less. In fact, if someone fell on hard times, they helped one another. Thus the beauty and long fascination with Its a Wonderful Life.

But along comes the era where there is a tv in every home...then in every room..then in every car...on now on our computers, which every person in the family now has one of. And if thats not enough, their personal phones can now access the web which accesses the media, which accesses all the global media you could dream of.

and what goes along with that?

commercials. We are a better fed consumer with more to select from. And we are creating faster than our wallets can keep up. And just as we acquire, the next new thing is created and we desire...

I am 54 and dirt poor. I have a very old dell laptop. I have a free cell phone that only can call and send texts. It looks like a half a candy bar. My sister just got some new fangled do dad and she is stuggling to make it stop saying whorehouse when she wants to say whitehouse. I am not coveting that. But others are. I have a threadworn couch. My niece who is on welfare took her tax check last year and bought a $2000 living room set. Because she coveted her sister's expensive leather living room set. She could have used that money to pay bills but she had to have the material thing to compensate her need to be as good as her sister. I didnt. I couldnt. I wouldnt have anyway. I like my old couch. I will probably have it until I die. It fits my personality and even if I somehow land alot of money, I could use that money to pay bills or add more seed to my bird feeders.

I dont watch alot of tv. I dont read alot of magazines. When I am on the computer I really dont go to places where there are commercials. I am not a product of capitalism. I dont covet. Except of course, for a horse.

So thats my answer...capitalism.

[The_Lady_Snow]

I don't subscribe to the Christian theory of "deadly sins" it's clearly obvious humans reek of greed. I posted from my own POV, which comes from my experiences of culture, race, classism and down right being honest with myself.

I want a Vespa, do I need one? No my greed wants it though black -n- pink...

[moxie]

It all depends on what one is wishing for. And if it is a want or a need. And there are different types of needs (look at Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs).

I have everything I need to meet my survival needs: food, shelter, clothing. If I had to wish for any of that, I would be wishing for it to survive.

If I wished for a blu-ray dvd player (which I do a teensy bit), it's because I want it. My materialistic self wants a fancy dvd player even though I can't notice the benefits of it because of my tv. Then I'll want an HDTV....it's just keeps going and building into the snowball rolling down the hill getting bigger and bigger.

I wish for a pseudo-family because my family disowned me. That meets my need for belonging. That is subjective though because not everyone needs the same things that I do in order to function on a healthy level and feel fulfilled.

So, I guess, what I am trying to say is that I believe what makes people wish for things are based on wants and needs. There are basic human needs and individual needs.

This makes sense to me, I don't know if it does to anyone else. :)

[The_Lady_Snow]

Makes sense!! You made me examine myself cause like you I looked for and have my chosen family out of need, not having made the want and need for me as a pack animal.

[Blade]

I agree with you both. I never had a TV in my room or a phone in my room and now days everyone in a house hold have their own personal everything. Greed desire and fantasy are also a driving force

I remember as a teen my girlfriend at the time had her own phone line she and her brother shared. In the phone book it said **** and under that it said kids line - - - . I thought that was cool and wanted my own phone...chuckling of course that didn't happen. We couldn't even get call waiting cuz you can only talk to one person at the time anyway.....or that's what my parents said.

I think I have been blessed, with a good paying job and my parents had good jobs when they worked. We weren't rich but we had all we needed and much that we wanted. There were those things we wanted and were told no or when you are grown and can afford this or that you can buy your own. Thus my motor head fetishes.

Really all I wish I had at this time that I don't need is a boat and a tractor. I need the tractor but I've been this long without one. Well and I wish I had the money to work on my house....it's getting to where that is a need.

I do believe much of our coveting comes from seeing what others have, and peer pressure.

[Rockinonahigh]

Im not shure if this is the right anser to the question,but hear is my take on things.
In another life a long time a go I had the passion for anything with horses,sepecialy rodeo's and horse shows.Over the years I acomplished many goals I set..almost.Shure I had some big winns at major events,rode and showed some fantastic horses over the years.I figured I colectively spent some where in the quarter million dollar range in bucks on horses,clothes to show them with,fancy silver mounted sadles with all the extras,the winter blankets and some that only were worn at the shows.Trucks,trailers..my last rig cost me $57,587.00.The truck was a big dully with all the bells and whistles..the trailes was a house on wheels for me and my equine buddy..no hotel for me cause the trailer had it all.I didnt think it would ever end,but it did and not like I wanted it to either..well folks it was a high fall with a crash and burn that I may not ever recover from.Oh,im not taking about money..its about what I started with,what I did along the way,the high ride for a long time...then health probs hit that just took it all away in a flash.Now dont think I havent tryed to get back in the swing of it,but cause of the health issues it hasnt worked out..im thinking it just wont happen no mater what I do.Yes,I keep pluging along and am doing ok.I live in a nice place,nice car,decent job with $$ in the bank..two fur kids that are the light of my life,my son who is the best thing I ever did in this world.But im still looking for the bits and peices of me that got lost along the way,if I dont find them I will be ok..just a little less of who I thought I was.

[Blade]

so it seems most of us wish for money, so we can have the things we wish for. Yep I'd be guilty of that. Truth is I have everything I need and wanting or wishing I had hasn't hurt me yet.

on another note, I'm sure there are folks that wish for personal things they don't have. I know I had several friends growing up that wished their family was like mine....as in they were from broken homes. Another friend wished her parents weren't alcoholics, course at the time I didn't realize mine were. So maybe all the things we wish for aren't necessarily concrete things.

[Blade]

Question #2
Why does money make some people proud and others humble?

Hmmm I guess I've had my proud moments about money and I've had my humble moments with it as well. Lemme think on this one.

[The_Lady_Snow]

Proud- you can do things for loved ones, give to those who have helped you

Humble- when you have nothing and then you're blessed, it alters your life and it's humbling or can be.

It all depends on the individual.

[Blade]

I think in the times I've been proud of my money is because I knew I earned it and I could do with it whatever I wanted to. Funny thing is I'm a simple person and when I've made/had plenty of money, I could go to the store or mall or whatever and not see a thing I couldn't live without. I don't buy name brand clothes or try to keep up with the Jones.

As a rule I'm more humbled when I have money and tend to share it.

Be back in a bit have a little issue going on

[sylvie]

Question #2
Why does money make some people proud and others humble?

Hmmm I guess I've had my proud moments about money and I've had my humble moments with it as well. Lemme think on this one.


first off, love this thread Blade, thank you! something that makes me think & dust the cobwebs off this 'ol brain of mine =)

i can understand both aspects of it, money can make me proud, as well as humble.. i grew up in poverty, and lived in poverty for a duration of some years as a single mother - and am proud to have pushed myself to where i am today, because i strived for better.. i'm not rich (though i am rich in many other ways in life), but financially i still struggle here & there, but i am definitely proud when i have moments i can afford something so simple like a grocery order or maintaining my bills, and being able to save my money to purchase the things we need..

in the same sense, i am humbled by the fact i know the struggles well, and if i could take my last dollar to help another, i would & will do it in a heartbeat so long as it isn't a situation i don't feel as though i am disrespected or feel like i am being used.. i am learning to stretch my dollar as far as it will go, appreciating the smaller things in life and doing my best to help those who are where i have once been.. it's all about paying it forward..

did i stray from the question? i hope not, i know what i'm trying to say, lol.. Gabby girl at her finest right here..*smiles*

[princessbelle]

Hmmmm, am i not thinking about this correctly? Isn't being proud of anything at the same time being humbled? I mean if you are proud then IMO there is an inner sanctioned emotion that digs deep into a place that you've "earned" or "received" or "garnished" something that you once didn't have and feel good about that.

Isn't that being humbled too?

I would say if i ever had a lot of money, i would be both proud and humbled. .....At the same time.

Great thread.

[Blade]

OK issue over.....now I've lost my train of thought...happens when ya get my age....

Umm I'll tell you what has been real humbling for me is my financial situation the past 2 yrs. $5 is a lot of money when you need $6 for gas to go to work one more day before payday. I've been especially humbled by not having the financial resources I'm accustom to having.

Though I am a relatively humble person anyway, I will still be both proud and humbled by money when I get my financial feet back under me again.

Thank yall for posting and for sharing...

[Gemme]

Question #1 1-23-11

What makes people wish for things they don't have?

A void. It may be emotional, spiritual, financial or psychological.

Question #2
Why does money make some people proud and others humble?[/B][/COLOR]

I think limiting the choices to just two is a bit of a disservice to the question. They could have worded it better, I think.

Money does a lot of things to people. If offers freedom, peace of mind, fear, insecurity, pride, greed, jealousy, hope, joy, et cetera and so on and so forth. It depends on each person's situation and their level of integrity.

[Blade]

A void. It may be emotional, spiritual, financial or psychological.



I think limiting the choices to just two is a bit of a disservice to the question. They could have worded it better, I think.

Money does a lot of things to people. If offers freedom, peace of mind, fear, insecurity, pride, greed, jealousy, hope, joy, et cetera and so on and so forth. It depends on each person's situation and their level of integrity.

I didn't like the way it was worded either Gemme. I think for more people than not proud and humble are not words I'd typically use to describe people with money.

[Blade]

1-25-11 Question

Is there really such a thing as "the generation gap"? Why or Why not?

[MissItalianDiva]

1-25-11 Question

Is there really such a thing as "the generation gap"? Why or Why not?

Well yes and no. Of course there are years and even generations between people but I am not sure I would or can fall into the "generational gap" claim.

I believe experience and life mold people into who they are and while I do believe chronological age and even years can influence a particular situation, I don't believe like most things in life it is definitive in value.

I have met many people beyond my years who I have wondered what rock they are sitting under or how they have lasted this long in the world. I have also met people my age and even younger who are without a doubt wise beyond their years and who I even consider to have an "old soul" or to have been born in the wrong generation, if you will.

I suppose this explains my stance. I realize it is not definitive either way but I don't like boxing ideas or questions. Black and white thinking is rarely effective in my opinion.

[The_Lady_Snow]

Not sure about this, I think the more we evolve in technology the more a gap could exist. My kids are of the easy way to network era, writing a letter is foreign. It's just gonna happen the biblical ideals are what I see as being watered down.

Dunno if I made sense.

[Soft*Silver]

I do alot of sitting and thinking in Rose Cottage. Sometimes I feel like a monk facing a wall. Just facing that wall and mulling the world and not stopping on any one thing until something snaps a synaps and I figure out something.

youth IS wasted on the young

older people really DONT understand the young

its SUPPOSE to be this way

anything else I could say would dilute it

[The_Lady_Snow]

Who said it was supposed to be this way?

I see older folks living life to the fullest, with that zest and hunger the "youth" are supposed to only have.

I see youth going nowhere, no desire to see outside of their 50 mile radius.

My parents may not get me, but some folks their age do.

I'm not coming up with a concrete answer it could be it's on individual basing, dunno.

[Blade]

I think it depends on the person and at varying stages I can see a gap, even in the same person that I didn't see it in maybe even only a few years ago.

I thought there was a huge gap when I was 16 or 20 between myself and Nannie. She just didn't get it. As I aged that gap got a little smaller and in the past 10 years, well I use to tell Mom, Nannie has gotten so cool in her old age.

When Pa died in 02, we talked Nannie into getting a computer. She couldn't do a lot with it but she did learn to email and simple stuff like that, no she didn't surf the net. I just thought it was way cool that she even would want to learn about the computer at 81 yrs old.

Mom and I have always been close, but it seems the last few years I feel a gap as she is aging. Chuckling...she's getting more like Nannie was in her 60's.

I do see a gap though, in folks in general. I see a gap in the "younger" folks as well as the "older" folks, maybe that is because I'm sorta in the middle now and have friends and family on both sides and have to adjust accordingly almost daily.

Maybe I'll think of more later

[Blade]

Question #4 1*28*11


What's the difference between legal and right?

[Soft*Silver]

it isnt right to take the life of another person

by law, people who kill can get the death sentance


its against the law to not pay your debts and you can go to jail for it

buts its perfectly alright for the government to be so much in debt


its immoral for a man and a woman to live in sin so they must be legally married
but legally 2 men or 2 woman must remain immoral

[JustJo]

What's the difference between legal and right?

Wonderful question...and for me it's the difference between bureaucracy and conscience.

The powers that be have determined the laws...so it's perfectly legal to ignore hungry people, to walk past someone who is hurt or struggling, or to not think about how the schools are failing children in poor communities.

It isn't right to do those things...but it's perfectly legal.

[The_Lady_Snow]

Question #4 1*28*11


What's the difference between legal and right?

One's governed

The other is a choice.

[MissItalianDiva]

Question #4 1*28*11


What's the difference between legal and right?

Well something that is legal doesn't necessarily make it "right" but this is going to vary based on one's values and beliefs or even culture. For instance it is legal to eat pork but for me it just is not "right"

Sometimes what is right and legal is such a fine line that the two often are blurred so close together it is not visible to the naked eye...just my opinion though.

[sylvie]

legal vs right..

what is 'right' for me is based on my beliefs & upbringing - and how things make me feel.. it isn't always right for the next person, however.. for me, what is right is something i choose and something i firmly believe in, rather than having to abide by what is legal..

and there are many an instance when i feel what is legal, isn't necessarily right..
i swear this made much more sense in my head, LOL

[Blade]

Question #4 1*28*11


What's the difference between legal and right?

What is legal is governed or enforced by laws, doesn't mean it is right. What is right I think is more on a personal level. IMO it is sorta like let your conscience be your guide kind of thing.

An example would be my ex use to get high in front of our son, that aint right. Later as a teenager they'd get high together, that aint right either. But to some it may be. Maybe I feel that way cuz I don't get high. OR maybe because I believe there is a line you draw between parenting and being your child's friend. To me teaching your child to do something illegal is not right.

[Gemme]

1-25-11 Question

Is there really such a thing as "the generation gap"? Why or Why not?

Absolutely. Each generation has different traits and skills and mannerisms that are specific to that generation, and of course, there are world events that occur that help to put each generation in a frame of reference.

Baby boomers, generation X, generation Y...with the increase of technological advancements, I see a loss of humanization that can be marked with each generation.

[Blade]

Question # 5 1-30-11

How do colors and music change our moods?

[Blade]

Question # 5 1-30-11

How do colors and music change our moods?

Well I can tell you as I passed the orthodontist office while ago, the colors brought laughter to me. He has painted the whole building in pastel colors. The house is one color the trim is another color and each window shudder is a different color. I thought what the heck has moved in there? I think colors do have effects on our moods and sensitivities. I also think the colors we dress in point to our moods sometimes and also may have an effect on the way others perceive us and their mood or attitude toward us.

Music.......now that is a whole other story. Music can lift me up, jack me up and even sometimes tear me down. There is nothing like music I like all music as long as I can understand the words and they aren't vulgar. Music can make me silly, sad, stupid, all sorts of things music can do to me. There has probably been a song written about every imaginable thing in life, I don't see how they keep coming up with new ones but I'm glad they do.

As Elvis said....I learned very early in life that: 'Without a song, the day would never end; without a song, a man ain't got a friend; without a song, the road would never bend -- without a song.' So I keep singing a song.

[girl_dee]

Question # 5 1-30-11

How do colors and music change our moods?

i cant answer about the colors, but music stimulates the heart.. music with a beat less than the heartbeat slows us down, higher beat, higher the mood...

I love it.

[Gemme]

Question # 5 1-30-11

How do colors and music change our moods?

Colors have the ability to change one's mood incredibly. Look at fast food restaurants. You'll see lots of reds, oranges, yellows and browns. Those colors tend to stimulate appetites. You'll see lots of soft greens and blues in doctor's offices as those tend to calm folks. Children like red and bright yellow, so you'll see lots of them and other bright colors where they are.

Music is like air for me. A song has the ability to get inside my bones if it means enough to me. Music can right a wrong, make a bad day good, and allow us to let go of small stuff and maybe even some big things too. Music moves us because it's a story folded neatly in melody. We all can relate to a good story.

[The_Lady_Snow]

Question # 5 1-30-11

How do colors and music change our moods?

Colors not so muchh

ahhh music, now music can in so so many ways.

[princessbelle]

Question # 5 1-30-11

How do colors and music change our moods?


I am somewhat of a "color-freak". Color is a huge part of my life and i tend to pick up color or aura's from people so if i "feel" a dark or cloudy or a sort of liquid with sediment color, it does affect my mood especially if i know this person.

I also soak in and notice the colors around me often. Even in buildings and other people's homes and they do affect my mood.

Music? oh gosh yeah....let me listen to a sad song and tears drip off my chin. Give me some ACDC and i'm dancing and sliding around in my socks all over the house.

Rock on!!!!

[Blade]

QUESTION #6 2/8/11

Why do we eat after funerals?

[Gemme]

I got distracted while posting earlier and I forgot something about colors.

There's a strong influence with pride and colors. Red/white/blue have been taught to us to equal national pride. The colors of one's flag of origin usually brings forth pride. With the superbowl as an example, there's even a song on the radio RIGHT NOW depicting the link between color and pride...."Black and yellow"...about the Steelers and Pittsburgh pride.

UePtoxDhJSw

[The_Lady_Snow]

QUESTION #6 2/8/11

Why do we eat after funerals?


I did not experience the eating after a funeral until I came to America, where I came from the body layed out at the family home, people came to visit, bringing food, drink, candles, and herbs and dried plants to help with transition. Occasionally a live chicken made an appearance, but it wasn't for dinner.:|

The food was brought the family could do body vigils, pray, etc. without the family having to worry about that task, laundry was done by the ladies in the neighborhood.

In other words word... I dunno:seeingstars:

[Gemme]

QUESTION #6 2/8/11

Why do we eat after funerals?

Food is comfort. That's why the obesity rate is so out of control. Speaking of control.....a lot of folks feel out of control where death is concerned. Food, they feel they can control. Ergo, food gives folks a sense of comfort and/or control is a very emotionally charged time.

[cinderella]

Ok, my Big Question is, will I ever find love again at this stage of my life? Well, astonishingly enough, I have.

I am 68, but have been told that I look 10 to 15 years younger - I hope so. My new love is 10 years younger. We have not met in realtime yet, and I am hoping that he will not be disappointed. I yearn to be in his arms, and to begin our lives together. I pray all will go well - wish me luck.

[princessbelle]

QUESTION #6 2/8/11

Why do we eat after funerals?

I know when my father died and then my brother, my mom's house was packed with people. We all cried and told stories about them. But, then what. You just sorta sit around. Well, people do get hungry and it is one less thing for the "family" to have to deal with if people bring food for everyone to eat. It takes the burdon off of the family to worry about entertaining guests....even in that situation ...you still worry bout that.

Also, food is comfort.

Most importantly probably it is a way of showing love to the family. A way of reaching out to them and feeling that you've done "something".

[The_Lady_Snow]

Ok, my Big Question is, will I ever find love again at this stage of my life? Well, astonishingly enough, I have.

I am 68, but have been told that I look 10 to 15 years younger - I hope so. My new love is 10 years younger. We have not met in realtime yet, and I am hoping that he will not be disappointed. I yearn to be in his arms, and to begin our lives together. I pray all will go well - wish me luck.


Congrats!!

:hangloose:

[cinderella]

Yes, my love, I can see and understand that. I've attended many wakes - Puerto Rican's wakes are no different from Irish wakes - lots of food, liquor and reminises and jokes. What the closest of us to the 'dearly departed' will never regain, is the love and warmth, and yes, the bad aspects of them we will miss...

I know when my father died and then my brother, my mom's house was packed with people. We all cried and told stories about them. But, then what. You just sorta sit around. Well, people do get hungry and it is one less thing for the "family" to have to deal with if people bring food for everyone to eat. It takes the burdon off of the family to worry about entertaining guests....even in that situation ...you still worry bout that.

Also, food is comfort.

Most importantly probably it is a way of showing love to the family. A way of reaching out to them and feeling that you've done "something".

[The_Lady_Snow]

Yes, my love, I can see and understand that. I've attended many wakes - Puerto Rican's wakes are no different from Irish wakes - lots of food, liquor and reminises and jokes. What the closest of us to the 'dearly departed' will never regain, is the love and warmth, and yes, the bad aspects of them we will miss...
s
Do you know why we eat after funerals?

[cinderella]

Thank you.

Congrats!!

:hangloose:

[cinderella]

Because we can...? We're still alive and able to do so. Not so much for those we've buried.

s
Do you know why we eat after funerals?

[girl_dee]

I did not experience the eating after a funeral until I came to America, where I came from the body layed out at the family home, people came to visit, bringing food, drink, candles, and herbs and dried plants to help with transition. Occasionally a live chicken made an appearance, but it wasn't for dinner.:|

The food was brought the family could do body vigils, pray, etc. without the family having to worry about that task, laundry was done by the ladies in the neighborhood.

In other words word... I dunno:seeingstars:


You have definately been to a clone family of mine. :|

Cajun's lay the body out a love oned, stay up all night (hence the term *wake*) fasting and having rituals (bring your own chicken style)... . bury the dearly departed the next day and then have a huge buffet style free for all feast. Everyone brings some yummy dishes to the feast and tends to the mourning family for a while doing chores and errands... and of course lots of drinking..

What a sendoff :)

[Soft*Silver]

I am going to guess we eat after funerals out of necessity.

I am going to go back to the agrian time to pre-industrial where towns were popping up and neighbors pulled together. Deaths were a family matter, the dead kept at home, bathed and clothed and presented at the house. Relatives were given notice to come see and pay their respects. Sometimes it was a long buggy drive. People came hungry. Locals brought food to help feed the kin and friends. They also chipped in and took care of the farm chores too. Feeding horses, collecting eggs, milking cows. These things all had to be done. Animals dont care if someone died. An udder is full and needs expressed. People chipped in and helped out with that too. We just dont have something similar to that in today's lifestyle to follow suit like we do with eating. People still come from far away and need fed....at least, thats how it all started.

[Sweet_Amor_Taino]

My big question? I am falling for a beautiful mature lady.
She is smart and attentive. Oh and did I mention Sexy as all heck I need to wear my :fireman: hat because there is fire in the house. LOL My question is will she want me as her guy for keeps?

[ravfem]

s
Do you know why we eat after funerals?

it's funny, i was just talking about the rituals surrounding death & funerals recently.... when i was young, the body was brought to the house (and in the case of my uncle, a soldier who died in Vietnam, a soldier came with the body and stayed there at the house, beside the casket the entire time).

Everyone, whether they knew the family or not, brought food. So much that a lot of it was thrown out eventually.

i think that some of it is that, at least in the culture i grew up in, you offer food at any & all occasions, happy or sad, as a way to socialize, show respect, love & either sympathy or congratulations. i remember more than one occasion when a family member would say something like, "i have to fix something to take with me before i can go over there", and also, "did you see that so&so didn't even bring a store bought cake?!" It just wasn't done, especially store-bought stuff!

my granny fed us til we couldn't eat another thing & then kept trying to push food on us... it was her only way of showing love.

[The_Lady_Snow]

My big question? I am falling for a beautiful mature lady.
She is smart and attentive. Oh and did I mention Sexy as all heck I need to wear my :fireman: hat because there is fire in the house. LOL My question is will she want me as her guy for keeps?



I hope so tickets are bought!! Good luck and congrats!!

[little man]

i wonder if this is drived from sin eating in other cultures?

link (http://www.logoi.com/notes/sin-eaters.html)

[Soft*Silver]

and we do this today, in America, in the body and blood of Christ...at communion...a small ritual revolving around a funeral
i wonder if this is drived from sin eating in other cultures?

link (http://www.logoi.com/notes/sin-eaters.html)

[Blade]

Question 2/27

What's the fine line between seeing that your needs are met and being selfish?

[princessbelle]

Question 2/27

What's the fine line between seeing that your needs are met and being selfish?

Wow great question. My honest answer is I don't know.

I think i probably struggle with this one. I tend to be on the "oh i'm ok, no problems" side rather than risk appearing selfish. But in doing that it is also performing an injustice to myself.

I agree it is a fine line and I admit i need to work on this one.

Thanks for the question!!!!

[weatherboi]

Question 2/27

What's the fine line between seeing that your needs are met and being selfish?

I am not sure if that fine line can be identified because it seems both those things would be in a constant state of relativity with each other. I guess finding a balance between both would be a start.

[Blade]

Not sure I know the answer to this either. I've seen good times and hard times. Usually my hard times were my own fault and my good times were due to my hard work. Though I have had times that were hard that were beyond my control.

I guess what I'm saying is it selfish to have all my needs met and have 3 motorcycles, 4 trucks, 2 cars, a camper, a house and land and contribute to charity and have money in the bank. I don't think so not when you work for it. Would it be selfish if I saw someone in need and not help them, knowing I had everything I needed and much more, sure it would.

I think sometimes we think we need more than we actually do. Why have 4 trucks? Well I bought them all new and paid for them and didn't trade them, they were mine and they weren't eating anything. Did I need them NO, but I was glad to have them when other people needed something to drive, due to various reasons.

So I'm on the fence on this question. shrugs....

[Soft*Silver]

Question 2/27

What's the fine line between seeing that your needs are met and being selfish?

this is an easy one. Being selfish is when you put your needs above all others. Getting your needs met is simply standing in line...

[Gemme]

Question 2/27

What's the fine line between seeing that your needs are met and being selfish?

The two are not necessarily related. You can be one and not the other or have both circumstances at the same time. I'm not exactly sure how to answer this one.

[Blade]

QUESTION 3/11

Would you like to know the precise date of your death?
Why or why not??

[Gemme]

QUESTION 3/11

Would you like to know the precise date of your death?
Why or why not??

Absolutely. If I was the only one who knew. I'm not as squicked out by death as many people are. It would give me freedom to actually live my life, I think, and the time to plan things just so, in order to make sure that I get done what I need to get done before I go. The planner and list maker in me would just go bananas with this information. I would see it as a personal challenge to see if I can do everything I want and need to do before the bell dings.

[Soft*Silver]

oh no. I remember holding onto the knowledge that my dad had terminal liver cancer before we shared it with him. That knowledge ate a hole in my heart, even tho it gave me an opportunity to take advantage of every precious moment left to enjoy with him. It also made every moment passing an incredible loss.

I want to just live my life as tho I wouldnt regret it if I didnt wake up tomorrow. I have had one of the most colorful and adventuresome lives I have heard of. Few compare. I have had my share of mistakes but I have also done great strides to correct them. Right now I am in a low zone but trust me, 3 years out of 54 is a short cycle. (smiling brightly) what a wonderful life I have and will continue to have! I dont want a finish line looming anywhere out there ....

[Venus007]

QUESTION 3/11

Would you like to know the precise date of your death?
Why or why not??

I would want to know so it would be clearly out there and I could plan accordingly as well as ready myself emotionally for it (insomuch as one can ready ones self for the end of being). Not to mention it would take the pressure off about oh say worrying about parachuting or base jumping or simply driving in Houston rush hour traffic. I don't think I would want anyone to know my date but me until it got close because it would cause a change in the dynamic of the relationship.

[weatherboi]

I would love to know then I can plan not to show up that day.


QUESTION 3/11

Would you like to know the precise date of your death?
Why or why not??

[CrankyOldGuy]

not sure i'd like to know when. it's more like how?

[Gemme]

I would love to know then I can plan not to show up that day.

Unfortunately, that never works, Grant. Have you seen any of the Final Destination movies?

[Turtle]

Would you like to know the precise date of your death?
Why or why not??


NO. I try to live my life as best I can all the time. I might spend money I don't really have seeing someplace magnificent if I knew it was soon, but life, for me, is really about relationships and I work at keeping those current.

[Blade]

QUESTION 3/11

Would you like to know the precise date of your death?
Why or why not??


Not sure I'd like to know how or when. I think that would change the dynamics of many of my relationships. Especially my relationship with me.

[Talon]

Question #2
Why does money make some people proud and others humble?

Hmmm I guess I've had my proud moments about money and I've had my humble moments with it as well. Lemme think on this one.


I think money can be a great magnifier for one's internal self (values, beliefs, hang-ups, intellect, life experiences, and shortcomings, ect.)

[agape]

Question #1 1-23-11

What makes people wish for things they don't have?

If you have it, why would you wish it?
Isn't the definition of a "wish" to desire something you don't already have?
It doesn't have to mean that you don't appreciate what you have. You may be grateful and happy with what you have and still have wishes... (in my opinion)

[meridiantoo]

QUESTION 3/11

Would you like to know the precise date of your death?
Why or why not??

Personally, I would focus too much on that if I knew. I like to live knowing my time is limited, in a way that this may be my last day. But, if I knew exactly when, I would live differently, I think, and not necessarily in a positive way.

:moonstars:

[Soft*Silver]

I wish Blade would ask big questions...

[Smiling]

QUESTION 3/11

Would you like to know the precise date of your death?
Why or why not??

I think the "correct" reply would be to say no; because I already live each day as though it were my last. However, that would be disingenuous. do try to be mindful, though!].

So, yes; I would absolutely like to know the day, but not the how. Having an exact date has a way of putting everything into proper perspective. I believe it would give me the strength to say and do the things I need to but cannot bring myself to for whatever reason....

http://i1306.photobucket.com/albums/s577/Bree524/image_zps078db23d.jpg

[Smiling]

Question 2/27

What's the fine line between seeing that your needs are met and being selfish?


The fine line lies in knowing the difference between actual "needs" and "wants." It is never selfish to insist on having legitimate needs met. It may or may not be selfish to have all of your wants met depending upon how you go about it and whether or not you do so with a sense of restraint.

[Gemme]

So, yes; I would absolutely like to know the day, but not the how.

Yeah, it would be a total bummer to know that you're gonna get smashed to smithereens by a flaming toilet seat.

:blink:

[Smiling]

Yeah, it would be a total bummer to know that you're gonna get smashed to smithereens by a flaming toilet seat.

:blink:

lmao; you're not kidding! :shocking:

[PoeticSilence]

Originally Posted by Blade View Post
QUESTION 3/11

Would you like to know the precise date of your death?
Why or why not??


I think I'd like to know when I was going to die, and I'm not so big on the how part.

I believe it would be a lot easier to be kinder and more thoughtful if I knew when. I could be more forgiving to people who were unkind and thoughtless. I could be more generous with my time. I could plan ahead and tie up what might be considered loose strings that my family might have to take care of. I could go through things and designate them to the children (knowing there would be no more). I could pay in advance for that cremation and save the kids the trouble. I could write my own obituary! I could print out all of the emails between me and my wife (many of them sappy or silly) and make a little after-I'm-gone book for her. I could work on doing some repairs that I've been putting off. I would keep my desk more tidy and organized. I could sit down and patiently make a video for each kid that will remind them of how I feel about them and how they've changed my life and put them away to be viewed later. So much that could be done. I wouldn't have time to be worried or depressed about anything at all.

I grew up believing I would die at fifty, like the majority of my family does. By majority I mean there are only a couple of us over fifty. When I turned fifty one I was...astonished.

Sure I can do a lot of those things still, and some of them I do, but there's that little procrastinator in me that puts some things off. Still.

[Kobi]

Originally Posted by Blade View Post
QUESTION 3/11

Would you like to know the precise date of your death?
Why or why not??




I would love to know the precise date of my death only because (and there is no pun intended here) I work better with deadlines. Deadlines help me to budget my time and resources for maximum benefit.

[Smiling]

Originally Posted by Blade View Post
QUESTION 3/11

Would you like to know the precise date of your death?
Why or why not??




I would love to know the precise date of my death only because (and there is no pun intended here) I work better with deadlines. Deadlines help me to budget my time and resources for maximum benefit.




Kobi, I totally get that! I, too, do my best work under pressure. In fact, when there is no pressure, nothing usually gets done at all, lol. :)

[Cin]

It seems the reality of my eventual death, as irrefutable as it is, has had little impact on my life so far, so I don’t believe an exact date would move me. At least not in any direction I would enjoy. I could see it making me more anxious and stressed as I tried to do more, be more, live more, give more, take more and just all around incorporate more into my everyday existence.

My days are already numbered, as are everyone’s, and although I know this, I still have to remind myself to live in the moment, to appreciate every minute, to be thankful for the precious gift of life, to enjoy the people I love, to tell them and show them what they mean to me, to never miss an opportunity to experience life. If understanding that life is finite hasn’t taught me to appreciate every single day, I can’t imagine that having a date for my death will.

Of course it would allow me to be better prepared. Have my affairs in order so to speak. I guess I’m just one of those people who isn’t all that interested in ordering my affairs. I’ll have to give that some thought.

But knowing the number of my days wouldn’t help me be more present in my life. It might even distract me. It’s hard enough some days to remember to enjoy life no matter how it’s going. Each one of my days is precious because it’s a singular occurrence and will never come around again. Sometimes that’s a happy thought; most times it’s not. But it’s always the truth and to remember that as the day unfolds matters to me. I am not always successful but when I am it is awesome. It fills me with wonder and a determination not to miss a moment of my life. Doesn’t last though and moment after moment tumbles away unnoticed or unappreciated. I don’t think knowing the exact time of my death will slow anything down for me.

[Blade]

Someone left me a PM that they enjoyed this thread and if I had time could I Get the little book of big questions back out.

Sooooo here we go.

Question
How do you know when you are interfering in someone's life?

[Vivacious1]

I personally would not want to know when or how I will die. I think that I would spend all my time thinking about it or worrying about it. I like to live my life in the moment and believe that things happen for a reason, when they are supposed to... Just me :)

[~ocean]

Someone left me a PM that they enjoyed this thread and if I had time could I Get the little book of big questions back out.

Sooooo here we go.

Question
How do you know when you are interfering in someone's life?

~ I guess when u realize its falling on deaf ears ? ~ lol

[JDeere]

Someone left me a PM that they enjoyed this thread and if I had time could I Get the little book of big questions back out.

Sooooo here we go.

Question
How do you know when you are interfering in someone's life?

In my opinion, you are interferring when you get way too close for comfort and people around you seem annoyed with you.

[Orema]

Someone left me a PM that they enjoyed this thread and if I had time could I Get the little book of big questions back out.

Sooooo here we go.

Question
How do you know when you are interfering in someone's life?

You know when you're interfering when you get that certain feeling right before you say or do something you shouldn't say or do. My throat tightens a bit, or I may get a queasy feeling in my stomach, or my salivary glands might tingle, or I might get nervous ... it all depends on the situation, but I know when I'm interfering and I know when I shouldn't do it.

Good question, Blade.

[Smiling]

Someone left me a PM that they enjoyed this thread and if I had time could I Get the little book of big questions back out.

Sooooo here we go.

Question
How do you know when you are interfering in someone's life?

lol, is it technically interfering when you harrass someone into taking time out of their life to dig through a book to find a question all for the sake of your own amusement?

:tease:

It's a great thread and it was crying out for resurrection! Thank you for indulging my request. I will be back to answer the question later this week, but I do have to get some sleep before work first.

:)

[Smiling]

I know I'm "interfering" when I pay close attention to what sort of reaction I'm getting. Typically, people don't react negatively to non-intrusive behaviors in my experience.

Personally, I know I can be meddlesome at times when I care about someone - it isn't done out of malice, but rather a genuine concern for someone's best interest (because naturally, I, who can barely run my own life, knows precisely what someone else needs, lmao). But you know what I mean....

I'm sure I can't be the only one. :)

The most important part is that I mostly recognize my tendency to do this - which I did not always - and I do try to reign it in. A lot. And it has substantially improved my interpersonal relationships.



Someone left me a PM that they enjoyed this thread and if I had time could I Get the little book of big questions back out.

Sooooo here we go.

Question
How do you know when you are interfering in someone's life?

[Blade]

I like all of your answers. Sometimes I don't think we realize we are interfering. We think we are giving good advice, though it may be unsolicited. Then again there are people who insist on interfering in others lives. I'm sure we all know someone like that. Mother in law, coworker, parent.

[Blade]

Question 12/27/14

Why do some cultures value aging and others cultures despise aging?

How does your culture regard aging?

Have you been effected by your cultures view on aging?

[Ginger]

Question
How do you know when you are interfering in someone's life?


I guess I it becomes interference when your influence is causing the person to make decisions not based on what they want, but based on what you want.

[Ginger]

Question 12/27/14

Why do some cultures value aging and others cultures despise aging?




I think some cultures despise the aging because they consume less.

[Gemme]

I think some cultures despise the aging because they consume less.

Ginger, would you elaborate a little bit? I'm confused by what you mean here.

[Prudence]

Wow.. this thread.

does it really all matter. All we have is this one moment. What ... ya wanta go back and make things right or do things you havent...Guess what you have now.. and thats it

[Blade]

Question 12/27/14

Why do some cultures value aging and others cultures despise aging?

How does your culture regard aging?

Have you been effected by your cultures view on aging?

I think some cultures value aging because they veiw them as wise, or having wisdom. Perhaps they value them simply due to respect of their elders I don't really know.
I think the culture of the working world despises aging and older employees. I have witnessed this, and have been on the butt end of it as well.

yes I've been effected by my cultures view on aging and in the business world as well. Both in good and not so good ways.

[Ginger]

Ginger, would you elaborate a little bit? I'm confused by what you mean here.


I had said I think some cultures despise the aging because they consume less. I meant, because they buy less. Maybe you thought I meant, because they eat less?

[stargazingboi]

Question 12/27/14

Why do some cultures value aging and others cultures despise aging?

How does your culture regard aging?

Have you been effected by your cultures view on aging?


My upbringing taught me that age = wisdom and deserves respect, for without them we would be nothing and have nothing

the culture in which I live (those surrounding me in society/media etc) seem to have no value for those who are older, on all levels. The media bashes looks and how people are not aging well....the gov't takes funding away from the aging as if they don't matter...people make comments all over the place with a down their nose kind of way about those who are older.

I have been effected by my upbringing and hold true to what I was taught as a youth. I value those who are older and I always will. I think they have much to teach...I find beauty in them that I do not see else where...and much more.

That being said...it doesn't mean I completely embrace the fact I am getting old. However, it has nothing to do with my view of those who are older and everything to do with how my aging body makes me physically feel. I don't mind my grey/white hair...I don't mind the wrinkles that I notice here and there (maybe because I don't have many)...I don't even mind embracing my age when folks ask. I just don't like losing my ability to be independent or the feeling of my body being broken at times.

[Gemme]

I had said I think some cultures despise the aging because they consume less. I meant, because they buy less. Maybe you thought I meant, because they eat less?

No, I was looking at it from a different pov so I wanted to see where you were going with it. We're actually not too off in terms of what we think. I just approach it from a different side.

For me, I think the aged are not respected and treated appropriately in some cultures because they do not have what the young want. Nowadays, everything has to be faster, longer, stronger, more (here is where I see your pov) and anything that is not those things is pushed to the side. Disposable societies. Disposable people.

Many cultures are strictly about progress and don't take into consideration that you cannot see how far you've gone if you can't see where you started.

Thanks for the clarification!

[Tuff Stuff]

I have a book called The Little Book of Big Questions. It has some interesting questions for thought in it, also has the author's idea of an answer.

I'll post a question for discussion, probably not every day but once or twice a week. Lets hear your views, who knows we may come across something we need to make a new thread topic for.

Question #1 1-23-11

What makes people wish for things they don't have?

Could it be jealousy?

Just taking a wild guess

[Tuff Stuff]

Question #2
Why does money make some people proud and others humble?


Money is not everything,but it is.It takes money to live a comfortable life.I was born into a middle class family,a dysfunctional one,whatever the hell that means.
It didn't end up a happy story.I know the importance of money,but i'd slit my own wrist if it meant hurting others to arquire it.Money makes me proud to own new things but humble enough to share it with others,preferably family..cause I know what its like not to have it.

I don't know if that makes any sense,but i'm putting it out there.
Read it however you want.I think I know what I was trying to say..*snort*