The Internet and the Death of Privacy

[Nat]

I remember the days when deleting an account or a blog was enough to disappear it from the Internet, but it appears those days are at a close. I was listening to a podcast regarding doctor/therapist/patient privacy on the Internet and how providers and patients both often google each other now- whether or not they disclose their findings, the things they read can affect diagnoses.

In the book 1984, George Orwell imagined a world where the government watched each person's every move. Instead, many of us have put our lives - even very personal parts of our personal lives - into a permanent record with a seemingly endless memory. Even in cases where the information can be deleted, the deep web searches can find it. Also there's the issue of Internet gossip and trolls who post damaging info on the internet about other people that can never really be erased.

So, here's a thread for discussion about the changing rules of Internet privacy.

And a little starter: have you googled yourself - your real name - and found that there is information out there about you that has the capacity to affect your future employment?

Have you found ways to combat it?

[Medusa]

This is a great thread :)

I have a lot to add here and will be back in just a bit.

[UofMfan]

Great thread.

I think privacy as we know it is quickly disappearing. New technology, this new generation, have blurred the line we (you know the general old we) have been using as a standard for decades.

Today people tweet their every move, no matter how personal or inconsequential it is. Facebook statuses let us all know what we and our "friends" are up to. We post pictures of our family and personal events without considering how these may affect future employment (or other) prospects. We posts pictures of ourselves that in the past we would have only shared with close friends when they came by to visit and we opened out photo albums.

I try to keep these things in mind, yet it is so easy to get caught up in the hoopla of it all. Share, share and share. It is like a major popularity contest at times. But I do try to keep my privacy settings in FB to the max, and although I post on here often, there is very little of my private life that you can read here and what you do read, I have chosen carefully to share.

Privacy is no longer defined by the standards I grep up with. Everyday I read something about how Facebook keeps pushing those standards so that by now it is hard to even know what privacy is. Of course Google and other sites are continuously gathering our personal information so we can be flooded by ads that are specifically targeted for us according to the information collected. Most sites do this, so it is becoming more difficult to 'surf" under the radar if you will.

The government does it, corporations do it, everyone is looking to tap into this plethora of information that most of the time we willingly supply to these sites.

If you Google something having to do with Butch/Femme or a topic discussed on here, you will see that particular discussion show up in your results. And yes, I have Googled myself, with my real name, and I am Ok with has come up so far. Of course the more time that passes and the more active I am online the more I need to check to see what is out there.

I try to combat it as best as I can by being diligent and careful when I am online. I am not always successful, and like I mentioned before, I get caught up on the frenzy of it all and I throw caution to the wind, sometimes.

[DapperButch]

Great thread, Nat.

I want to speak to the therapist issue (b/c I am one and this is a big concern of mine).

I googled myself not too long ago and found a section where my parents and sister's names were listed as relatives. I see that my address and also a picture of my house can be seen (even though my home number is unpublished).

My concern client wise is for their treatment (as you suggested). The reason therapists don't (or shouldn't) share too much about their personal lives is that the "stories" clients create in their minds about the therapist is useful fodder for their treatment. VERY useful fodder. It can tell them so much about themselves and their perceptions.

Additionally, depending upon the information one has on their therapist, even just a small tidbit, can create all kinds of assumptions about a therapist's belief system, which could make the client uncomfortable discussing certain topics if they fear judgement from the therapist. For example, if the google said I was Republican (which I am not), based on a person's perception of Republicans, people could assume all sorts of things (like that I am a conservative Christian, for example).

Anyway, it is disconcerting to say the least. I actually make lots of adjustments in my life due to my work (like not having my picture up on this site which I would like to have, not attending public events if I know a client will be there, I don't have a FaceBook account), so a little thing like google, sucks (especially since I already give up some things I wish I didn't have to in order to give my clients the best treatment I can).

Oh, and I have never googled a client. It feels intrusive.

(for that matter, I rarely google anyone for the same reason).

[Kobi]

I have googled myself before. I have a professional license which is public information, so that info is available. I have found some references to thank yous in books and articles from colleagues which I didnt expect to find.

Like Dapper, I too, have found a site that provides addresses and phone numbers, ages and persons in the household. That was disconcerting considering every address I have had since the 1970's was there.

I dont use fb or twitter or anything else that can blindside me with uninvited attention. After a few threats in child protection cases, I am extremely cautious using the net. It is too easy to track someone if you are so inclined.

I am also a compulsive cookie eraser after having ads specially tailored for me on certain web sites. That felt very bizarre to me.

After one too many crime shows, I am also very cautious when erasing things on my hard drive. I use secure deletion programs and regularly wipe the space as well. When I am totally bored, I have a program that will search the drive to see what info is still recoverable. :blink:

There is very little privacy left in the world and on the net without me leaving a digital footprint everywhere I go.

[EnderD_503]

Since I started using the internet I was always concerned about internet privacy.

Since you brought up Orwell, actually dystopian novels are always what comes to my mind when I think about privacy these days, whether on the internet or in real life. Call me paranoid, but I guess I've always just been really careful and at least in the "googling yourself" aspect, it has kind of paid off as far as maintaining my privacy. When I google my birth name, out of 6 or 7 pages of people that come up, only two refer to me, though unless the people knew my history directly they probably wouldn't know it. One is just an article in a newspaper about an award I received for my honours thesis, while the other is a post on a residence page site from my early university days (but because it's so old, when you click the link my comment doesn't even appear anywhere anymore, nor can you see my account apparently...so not too bad). On my chosen name there is nothing either. Like I said, maybe it's crazy paranoia, but I just don't like the idea of people around the world being able to track my info down just by knowing my name.

The only social media I use is twitter and I don't use my real name, so I'm not too concerned about it.

I do think it's crazy that people add their co-workers, bosses etc. to personal facebook pages or twitter. I've generally held that work life and personal life should not mix at all, as you never know when someone is going get offended about something you say or do on one of these pages and how it'll affect your life at work. Also, I think it causes a lot of friendships to go down the drain where people cause drama over something someone said on facebook. Recently a friend of mine was cussed out and "unfriended" by a long time friend of his on facebook for some incredibly stupid...and the situation probably wouldn't have spiralled out of control if it took place irl.

So in general, lack of privacy online has all sorts of negative ramifications. From google selling people's information, to your boss looking at your crazy drunken holiday pictures.

[Linus]

When I first got online (back in 1993/4) and learned about ways to delve into people's networks and such (kinda gray area stuff), I knew quickly that privacy didn't exist. It never does. In Canada, the expectation of keeping data safe is on the gov't and the businesses. In the US, it's more like a wild west feeling.

In both cases, it's up to an individual. I had long ago decided that the only thing that should appear on the Net are the things that someone could learn if they came up to me in person. Add to that my regular persistence at making sure that the computer I used to connect to the Net was secure and that my behaviour was limited to specific trusted sites and... it's all been good.

I've never had an identity compromise in all my time online. I have had fraudulent changes on credit cards due to taxi usage for work when they use the old fashioned credit card slips with the extra carbon in them.

[Medusa]

People should be super careful on the internet.

There are sites out there like the ones you all have been talking about that are basically clearing houses for people's personal (but legally public) data. You can ask for your information to be removed but I believe that has to be done on a yearly basis otherwise people can get your home address, your phone number, and any other number of things that they could use to be creepy with you.

There are people out there who have ZERO qualms about digging up your personal information and using it to try to intimidate you or fuck with you. I have encountered 2 such people in my time since owning this site and have had to have conversations with family members and my staff at work about possible communications from people who get off on fucking with others. Luckily, I have a super supportive boss and family and am not concerned about anyone being able to "soil" my name. (eyeroll intended)

The best thing to do is Google yourself, search different sites, etc. and start sending "remove me" requests to all of hte databases out there.
Also, try to never ever use your real name or indetifying email addresses on public forums. This is sometimes unavoidable as evidenced with Facebook but you can certainly turn off all of the search functions and lock down your information as much as possible :)

[Nat]

Some opt-out sites:

To request your information be removed from:

Peoplesmart.com
EmailFinder.com
FreePhoneTracer.com
PhoneDetective.com
Archives.com

http://www.peoplesmart.com/?_act=optout

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To remove yourself from whitepages.com

http://www.whitepages.com - search your name, click the "claim & edit" button and request to remove your information.

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To remove yourself from mylife

you can call 888-704-1900 and request to have your information removed

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To remove yourself from beenverified.com

you can try emailing support@beenverified.com and making a request - I have tried this and will update whether they honor it or not.

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The opt-out page for intellius.com requires an image of your driver's license with your photo and driver's license number blocked out:

http://www.intelius.com/optout.php

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To opt out of peoplefinders.com

you have to fill out this pdf http://www.peoplefinders.com/optout-form.pdf

and provide all your previous addresses and then mail the form to them.

I find this kinda scary because it gives them more info than they already have and I don't know if any of these sites can be trusted one bit.

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[UofMfan]

This is an article that shows how much your information is worth. At first you see .01 or .02 cents and think nothing of it, but like the article says, it adds up.



http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/05/14/personal-data-advertisers_n_861829.html

[moxie]

I am a therapist, like DapperButch. Because of that and my professional license being of public record, a lot of my information is available when you Google me. I have had past clients, both adult and child, try to get me to friend them (get me to look them up and friend them) on Facebook because they have tried and they can't find me (which I tell them no and explain why). I have the highest privacy settings on Facebook so that you can only see my picture and any of my personal information if you are my friend. The only picture I have on here anymore is the one in my profile, which you can only see if you are a member.

I have had a lot of friends make fun of me because of my "excessive" need for privacy. I have all of my mail (bills, etc) sent to a PO Box. Occasionally I give out my address for packages to be sent to my apartment but that is it. The only thing my physical address is listed on is my electric/gas and cable bill (because it has to be to get service but they still has PO Box as mailing address) and my driver's license. I do not even have my physical address listed with my employer. I've been like this since the late 90s.

As gar as Googling myself, yes, I have done it. I wanted to know what out there is about me. One of the "interesting" things I have found is a woman, with my same name, in the same general area where I grew up, was busted for prostitution. So, people from my past could think it was me as my last name is not common.

[AtLast]

I am a therapist, like DapperButch. Because of that and my professional license being of public record, a lot of my information is available when you Google me. I have had past clients, both adult and child, try to get me to friend them (get me to look them up and friend them) on Facebook because they have tried and they can't find me (which I tell them no and explain why). I have the highest privacy settings on Facebook so that you can only see my picture and any of my personal information if you are my friend. The only picture I have on here anymore is the one in my profile, which you can only see if you are a member.

I have had a lot of friends make fun of me because of my "excessive" need for privacy. I have all of my mail (bills, etc) sent to a PO Box. Occasionally I give out my address for packages to be sent to my apartment but that is it. The only thing my physical address is listed on is my electric/gas and cable bill (because it has to be to get service but they still has PO Box as mailing address) and my driver's license. I do not even have my physical address listed with my employer. I've been like this since the late 90s.

As gar as Googling myself, yes, I have done it. I wanted to know what out there is about me. One of the "interesting" things I have found is a woman, with my same name, in the same general area where I grew up, was busted for prostitution. So, people from my past could think it was me as my last name is not common.

As a retired psychotherapist, I so understand this! Boundaries, boundaries, boundaries! Since my last clinical license that last practiced under was a combination of my LTR patner's and mine, I don't worry so much. No one here or on any social site I am on knows this. I never changed them. Close to retireing, so I didn't feel the need to.

The internet has brought so many great things- but as someone that has been the victim of computer and identity theft and fraud- it can be a double sided sword. Unfortunately, there are people out there with criminal intentions.

I don't list an address in the phone book and use my first and middle initials.

Sometimes I am amazed at people that work in publically funded professions are not more careful with this stuff. These days, I wouldn't trust that my job was safe even if I had a union to go to. Employers can do a lot that we have no way of knowing about. Finding medical, including mental health records has become far too easy in the age of the home computer- even with very strict laws to prevent this. Things that are a matter of public record are bad enough. I can't stand what real estate people can find out about people, for example.

[Medusa]

My old boss tried to friend me on Facebook last year. Needless to say, it was awkward when I had to explain to him that I prefer to keep my work life and personal life separate. :|

[Venus007]

I am doubly fortunate that my name is extremely common and that there is someone rather famous that shares my name. I enjoy being a needle in a hay stack. I believe that is the new hiding to be invisible in plain sight.

I have been involved with the internet since somewhere in the mid 80s, (remember Compu-Serve), and I feel relatively safe online. It is like living in a bad neighborhood, there are just some things you have to pay attention to, some things you shouldn't do and other things that are just fine, I am very careful to keep the disparate parts of my life, well, disparate. I am aware of my public image and the requirement of having a truly public image and a more covert public image as well as my true personal life. My true personal life is shielded online due to my many millions of name sakes.

[Gayla]

In real life, I'm all over the Internet. My name is rather unique and most all of the google results for my name are actually me.

The others are a school teacher on the east coast who is the only other person I've found that shares my first and last name. (We also share a rewards club membership at Best Buy because every time one of us tries to get a new one, they say we already have one. We keep in touch via email and it's one of the oddest online friendships I've ever made online.)

I do google myself often and spend a fair bit of time on a regular basis working on my SEO. Because so much of my business depends on the Internet, I do have to be more careful these days about what I do online using my real name. In the past, I haven't worried too much about it and there was a point where googling (well, yahooing back then) my name showed everything from leather community stuff to work stuff. I've gotten most of it cleaned up but after the first 3 or 4 pages there is some non real estate stuff that still shows up. For most of the social stuff I do, I've either set things to the highest privacy levels so they don't show up in search results or I've completely changed the names that I use. Since I expect, and often request, that my clients google me at some point, I have to make sure that they only see what I want them to see. :)

I participate in some "high risk" activities online. Primarily this is related to gaming so I'm on constant alert for everything from viruses to keyloggers and other types of malware. I probably worry more about this than anything else when it comes to the stuff I do online. I would be very sad if my little pink haired gnome got hacked!

[Diva]

Evidently, I'm an attorney in Fayetteville who is also an interior designer...and I guess I perform meditative music on Pandora, too.


:|
(Thankfully, I do not use my full legal name in my life!)

[Medusa]

I'd like to hear folk's thoughts about the "Who visited my profile" feature here.

We have that feature as a fun way to see who's looking. It was meant as a "calling card" to say "Hey, Ebon stopped by your profile today!"

We have talked a couple of times about turning the feature completely off when frustrated with complaints like "I feel unsafe that so-and-so looked at my profile".

What do you think? Would you rather know who visited your profile or would you rather wonder about it?

My thought has always been that whatever is in your profile on this site is fairly "public" info, that there isn't really a reasonable expectation of privacy.

Curious what others think!

[The_Lady_Snow]

Either way sometimes I like to cruise profiles it let's you get to know people a little...

Either way it's no biggie. Thanks for even asking!

[DapperButch]

I am a therapist, like DapperButch. snip

The only picture I have on here anymore is the one in my profile, which you can only see if you are a member.

I have had a lot of friends make fun of me because of my "excessive" need for privacy...

Yes. I am such a freak that I didn't even use my dog's real name on his picture here. It is an uncommon name and the one thing a handful of clients know about me is that I have a dog... some of them have asked his name.

[Gentle Tiger]

I like the feature but I wouldn't lose sleep if it were gone.

I can see how someone might not like someone being able to just pop in. Maybe have it as optional feature. And people decide if they want it or not.

[Julie]

If I visit someone's profile - I am there and have no issue having them know.
If someone visits mine - I think it's nice. They are thinking of me (good or bad).
This is the internet and only those who are registered can visit. Whether they are who they say they are - is of no consequence to me - those who are *faux* will always be found and seen.

[DapperButch]

I'd like to hear folk's thoughts about the "Who visited my profile" feature here.

We have that feature as a fun way to see who's looking. It was meant as a "calling card" to say "Hey, Ebon stopped by your profile today!"

We have talked a couple of times about turning the feature completely off when frustrated with complaints like "I feel unsafe that so-and-so looked at my profile".

What do you think? Would you rather know who visited your profile or would you rather wonder about it?

My thought has always been that whatever is in your profile on this site is fairly "public" info, that there isn't really a reasonable expectation of privacy.

Curious what others think!

I like the feature. I see it as a calling card, as well.

I would think that it would actually help with keeping the "would be stalkers", away. People realize that it is kind of creepy to be looking at people's profiles repeatedly if you are not friends with them and leaving them messages.

[Ebon]

How am I supposed to stalk people with that feature on there?

No seriously though I keep my work and personal life seperate and my Facebook is on lockdown. There are only a few people on Facebook that I am friends with at work. I try to keep my facebook down to people that I interact with on at least a weekly basis. I don't like having Facebook friends that I never talk to. I don't understand the point of that.

[Liam]

I enjoy the feature.

[Queerasfck]

OMG! (abbreviation for O My G*d)....I love the feature. It's the only way I get any attention at all from complete strangers as well as my closest most intimate friends.

[The_Lady_Snow]

"Validation through Profile Views"

:canadian:



Prime example of this:

Mr Bent almost 10,000 views

AND there's even a thread about said profile.

[Mister Bent]

Prime example of this:

Mr Bent almost 10,000 views

AND there's even a thread about said profile.


Which is precisely why I feel so good about myself.

[The_Lady_Snow]

Which is precisely why I feel so good about myself.




8,396 and still going!

[girl_dee]

Regarding the feature, so what if so and so checks out my *page*.. what are they going to see really? Not much more than they would if they looked at any of our posts.. I see names on my page that are strange to me, people I have never seen or spoken to, yet their name appears very very often, but whatever.

ON the other hand I rather put things in place with the attitude that we are all here for healthy interaction and not come from a place to *protect* ourselves from each other. Some people put too much thought into what other people are doing :).

What I don't understand is that on this site, what is a benefit of *friending* someone? I don't think there is more info given to our *friends* is there?
And truly, no one should be giving out real names and info anyway.

People think I am trying to hide my life because I have a separate FB account for my close family, nope just trying to keep my private life, private, there is nothing on FB that worries me, except maybe that I named a chicken after Diva, now that is highly confidential information.

[JustJo]

I periodically see that people I don't know have visited my page...and have never thought anything of it. I assume that they're newer members, or perhaps people who are still reading and not posting yet....and that something I have posted has resonated with them somehow.

Or....maybe it's an accidental click...I've done that myself more than once and suddenly found myself on someone's page. :blink:

I recently deleted my Facebook pages...both work and personal. It wasn't to do with anyone here...just felt like I wanted to be done with the kinds of input I was getting there... :rrose:

[Reader]

I am a therapist, like DapperButch. Because of that and my professional license being of public record, a lot of my information is available when you Google me.

SNIP

As gar as Googling myself, yes, I have done it. I wanted to know what out there is about me. One of the "interesting" things I have found is a woman, with my same name, in the same general area where I grew up, was busted for prostitution. So, people from my past could think it was me as my last name is not common.

I have a thing about privacy in general and internet privacy in particular. I adore that when I google my own name I don't appear, except maybe on the last page. Even then it is usually an address for somewhere I lived years ago. I enjoy "virtually" driving thru towns, as I do in real life, and I think the touring museums thing by google is splendid.

One fantastic thing we have in Jersey is for doctors. You can look up a doctor to see if they are Board Certified, and if they have any malpractice suits. Good to know when choosing a doc.

The net is so great, and it is over 40 years old, but as with most things, the technology is far beyond the ethical sensibilities of the humans who created it...just like nuclear fission. But, I don't want to go on an anti-nuke rant here, so I will now move along. I am indifferent to the feature you all are discussing. :)

[Random]

I like being able to see who visits me...

You come see me, I'm going to go see you

Then I'm going to see if there is anything of interest to me in what you post and that could lead me to discover a thread that I hadn't noticed before, or someone that has a way with words that makes me want to read more..

I'm a curious kinda femme... I like information..... I like new discoveries...

It's the lazy womans guild to thread stalking..

[Reader]

I think it would be cool to somehow be able to see who has gone into every thread, but I bet it would be a programming nightmare.

[imperfect_cupcake]

I have googled myself. A few years ago it would bring up ONE erotic short story I wrote (about 15 pages in to the search) which used to make me wince; it's not longer there as I think the site has been removed. The rest seemed to prove that women with my name were all either architects or photographers or shoe designers.

When I joined facebook I used a different last name because I work in public service, to ensure employers would not be able to look me up.

as for the rest... I have never filled in forms on line to join anything or any forum etc with my real name. It's always been something silly. I have two email address: one for my emlpoyers or when I look for work or correspond to the government, and one for my daily life. My daily life is a pseudonym, a fun name.

this seems to have taken care of any issues of privacy I might have that would affect employment. the rest I don't really give a shit about.

[ruffryder]

So this topic comes up once again with all the new changes to Facebook. I'm sure you all have opinions. Let's hear it! *bump*bump*bump*

We are all linked to the internet now and the government. Anyone can find us and know what we are doing at any particular time!

So, I'm applying for jobs and the line of work I'm looking at is very public. Everything about me is made public and they want to basically know my life for as far back as it starts, all addresses, friends, acquaintances, aliases, nicknames, websites, etc, etc. So I'm curious as to what they may come across. Low and behold I type in this ID to see what comes up and wow my bfp posts and even the thanks I give to others posts. I was surprised to see this. Because I choose to put myself out there and be a part of this line of work, everything about me should be disclosed. I just sometimes want a bit of privacy especially when it comes to sexual and intimate matters because that shouldn't matter when I apply for a job, but it may to some employers. incredible!

Nothing is safeguarded on the internet anymore and I always hear and must say if you don't want something "shared" on the internet then maybe you should just not post it.

Opinions, comments, perspectives?

[betenoire]

Most of the "Brandy G___" I see on google are people who are not me. Aside from that I see a few hits from the newsletter of the nonprofit I used to work/volunteer for, and a couple of guestbook entries on goth webpages from the 90s. Nothing to see here, carry on.

What do you think? Would you rather know who visited your profile or would you rather wonder about it?

The only thing that I find irritating is that some level's of membership that have the invisibility feature do not show up when they visit people's profiles. I'm all for them being able to have privacy when they are reading the threads - but if they are visiting my profile I like to know. Because for some reason it makes me just about half batshit when I see that the visitor number on my profile has gone up but the names haven't changed.

Also UofMean visits me about 790790870 times a day and she makes me very uncomfortable. When she's not viewing my profile on here she is poking me on facebook. Someone make her stop! (Dear everybody: I am kidding. This is also how rumours get started.)

Yes. I am such a freak that I didn't even use my dog's real name on his picture here. It is an uncommon name and the one thing a handful of clients know about me is that I have a dog... some of them have asked his name.

I know his real name, I know his real name! *singsong*

I would think that it would actually help with keeping the "would be stalkers", away. People realize that it is kind of creepy to be looking at people's profiles repeatedly if you are not friends with them and leaving them messages.

Sorry. :(

[*Anya*]

I just never Googled myself before-real name. At least there are only two of us in the USA but maybe that is not good either.

It is kind of scary. I have been very naive. I did not even know you could sign up on FB with a fake name!

[dixie]

I just never Googled myself before-real name. At least there are only two of us in the USA but maybe that is not good either.

It is kind of scary. I have been very naive. I did not even know you could sign up on FB with a fake name!

When I type in my regular user name for most sites (which is part of my email addy) most of what comes up is stuff like my eBay page, my YouTube page, Flicker photos, gaycities travel, some product feedback sites I've rated, just regular stuff. However, a couple of b-f dating sites that I used in the past popped up. I'm sure that once I get those deleted they will be gone. Oddly though, someone with my user name is registered as porn. (If I have ever done porn I must have put a huge mental block on it! LOL)

If I put in my real name, all my social sites (fb, twitter, google+, etc) show up, along with my high school alumni stuff.

I'm thinking if I didn't have a pic up on my social sites I could totally deny it was me...lol My reasoning for this: there is a girl who lives in my town with the same exact full name, age and birthday as me. We used to go to the same doctor's office, and they always had a heck of a time trying to keep our records straight.

[Soft*Silver]

I like the feature that allows us to see who was on our profile. It keeps me aware of when exes drop by....lol

[dixie]

For the most part, I keep my social sites on a privacy setting. As for the privacy on those sites, I want to share some things with some people. I just don't want to share EVERYTHING with EVERYONE. I know it's the interwebz and that most anything can be found out despite those settings (depending on how bad whoever wants to know), so I know that I take a risk every time I post anything anywhere. *shrug*

[dykeumentary]

I am happy that I get to publicly stand by everything I've written online. And offline.
This might be unhappy news for people who actually have and use any of the "alias names" I have used through the years, or the same name as on any of my facebook profiles (i think i have like 7 right now).

I'm glad to see who has visited my profile, even if it doesn't happen very often. I'm curious though, what advantage BFP gets from having the threads searchable by google, etc. Thoughts on this, Admin/Owners? I'm sure there is a good reason, you run a good site.

[ruffryder]

However, a couple of b-f dating sites that I used in the past popped up. I'm sure that once I get those deleted they will be gone. ! LOL)


Don't count on it. I often wonder about the time out feature here. Once someone is timed out, there's no going back and deleting yourself. It can screw up the threads and order of posting, I suppose, if one was to get deleted. Maybe admin can answer the question: If one was to delete their ID what happens to old posts? Do they stay in the internet past?


I'm curious though, what advantage BFP gets from having the threads searchable by google, etc. Thoughts on this, Admin/Owners? I'm sure there is a good reason, you run a good site.

Could it be for advertising? I was wondering the same thing. BFP is the first thing that popped up when I typed in my ID. . and I thought WOW you have to be a member to look at profiles and some things here, however anyone that searches my ID on the internet can see what I'm doing all over the site without ever coming here.

[Dominique]

[QUOTE=betenoire;423524


The only thing that I find irritating is that some level's of membership that have the invisibility feature do not show up when they visit people's profiles. I'm all for them being able to have privacy when they are reading the threads - but if they are visiting my profile I like to know. Because for some reason it makes me just about half batshit when I see that the visitor number on my profile has gone up but the names haven't changed.
Sorry. :([/QUOTE]

Are you sure about this? I have the invisibility feature activated, and when I go to someones profile, I see my screen name in the calling card box.

When I see the number changing, but no new visitors, I just *assumed* it was one of the same people whom had already called, revisiting. I'm no expert, by any means. So I'm seeking clarification also.

[Dominique]

Don't count on it. I often wonder about the time out feature here. Once someone is timed out, there's no going back and deleting yourself. It can screw up the threads and order of posting, I suppose, if one was to get deleted. Maybe admin can answer the question: If one was to delete their ID what happens to old posts? Do they stay in the internet past?

The TOS says nothing gets deleted. period. TOS is on the bottom of every page.



Could it be for advertising? I was wondering the same thing. BFP is the first thing that popped up when I typed in my ID. . and I thought WOW you have to be a member to look at profiles and some things here, however anyone that searches my ID on the internet can see what I'm doing all over the site without ever coming here.

My understanding of this is something called an RSS wheel that runs in the background of internet programs and picks stuff up. I recall using google once to see what the heck an RSS wheel was.

[Dominique]

I just never Googled myself before-real name. At least there are only two of us in the USA but maybe that is not good either.

It is kind of scary. I have been very naive. I did not even know you could sign up on FB with a fake name!

For occupational reasons, more my job prior to this, than this, I was always looking to see what my name appeared in. Saddly, only obituaries.
To be clear, with the spelling absolutely correct.

I have a very unique name and the spelling is always wrong. There have been some similar versions of my name appear, but the associations of the similar versions were not anything belonging to me.

Have you heard of Linked In? I may have spelled that incorrectly. Once upon a time, out of curiosity, I went to that page and looked at it and put in enough information to get me into the sight. Linked In did what fake book (spelled incorrectly on purpose) does, information gathering based on sites visited, twitter accounts ect.....and completely filled out a Linked In account on me. Very Eye opening. The information *Could* have been true, but none of it was. You may want to check on that while you are checking on yourself.

[betenoire]

Are you sure about this? I have the invisibility feature activated, and when I go to someones profile, I see my screen name in the calling card box.

I'm pretty positive. Go to my profile and I'll let you know if I see you on the list or not.

[Dominique]

OK, I was there, and I saw my calling card....did you?

[DapperButch]

Are you sure about this? I have the invisibility feature activated, and when I go to someones profile, I see my screen name in the calling card box.

When I see the number changing, but no new visitors, I just *assumed* it was one of the same people whom had already called, revisiting. I'm no expert, by any means. So I'm seeking clarification also.

You will see an asterik by your name in the box, but yes you are still invisible and yes your visit does apply to the "count".


Don't count on it. I often wonder about the time out feature here. Once someone is timed out, there's no going back and deleting yourself. It can screw up the threads and order of posting, I suppose, if one was to get deleted. Maybe admin can answer the question: If one was to delete their ID what happens to old posts? Do they stay in the internet past?


I believe the TOS indicates that they do not delete any accounts here. So be careful what you write!

Could it be for advertising? I was wondering the same thing. BFP is the first thing that popped up when I typed in my ID. . and I thought WOW you have to be a member to look at profiles and some things here, however anyone that searches my ID on the internet can see what I'm doing all over the site without ever coming here.

If you don't have a pic up here than they won't know it is you, right? If you want to remain incognito, considering taking yours down.

That is why I don't have a pic up here. Otherwise, I wouldn't feel I could share very much info. due to my work. It is unfortunate b/c I would like to put up pics!

[betenoire]

OK, I was there, and I saw my calling card....did you?

The last 10 visitor(s) to this page were:
atomiczombie Corkey+ DapperButch+ HowSoonIsNow+ June Kobi Merlin Morgan SecretAgentMa'am+ UofMfan+
This page has had 2,245 visits

You're not invisible to yourself, is all. But other people cannot see you on their profile pages.

[DapperButch]

The last 10 visitor(s) to this page were:
atomiczombie Corkey+ DapperButch+ HowSoonIsNow+ June Kobi Merlin Morgan SecretAgentMa'am+ UofMfan+
This page has had 2,245 visits

You're not invisible to yourself, is all. But other people cannot see you on their profile pages.

'Cause I LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE you!

[Dominique]

You will see an asterik by your name in the box, but yes you are still invisible and yes your visit does apply to the "count".AH...yes Dapper, when I see my name, I do see the asterick. Very good Super Slueth.



If you don't have a pic up here than they won't know it is you, right? If you want to remain incognito, considering taking yours down.

That is why I don't have a pic up here. Otherwise, I wouldn't feel I could share very much info. due to my work. It is unfortunate b/c I would like to put up pics! EXACTLY why I don't have a picture. Some day I'll tell you my stalker story. Serious {sic} stuff

[betenoire]

'Cause I LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE you!

Cuz you're creeeeeeeeeeeeepy.

I still think you should get facebook and just use a fake name like I did forever. Then you can look at pictures of BEARS in my parents' backyard!

[DapperButch]

Cuz you're creeeeeeeeeeeeepy.

I still think you should get facebook and just use a fake name like I did forever. Then you can look at pictures of BEARS in my parents' backyard!

I do want to see the bears. And more and more stuff is on FB only. I really should consider it. Now just to come up with a coolio name!

[DapperButch]

You will see an asterik by your name in the box, but yes you are still invisible and yes your visit does apply to the "count".AH...yes Dapper, when I see my name, I do see the asterick. Very good Super Slueth.



If you don't have a pic up here than they won't know it is you, right? If you want to remain incognito, considering taking yours down.

That is why I don't have a pic up here. Otherwise, I wouldn't feel I could share very much info. due to my work. It is unfortunate b/c I would like to put up pics! EXACTLY why I don't have a picture. Some day I'll tell you my stalker story. Serious {sic} stuff


Sorry that happened to you. I have been fortunate enough to never have had to deal with that in real life/here.

Unless you count bete.

[betenoire]

I do want to see the bears. And more and more stuff is on FB only. I really should consider it. Now just to come up with a coolio name!

Just nothing that starts with Randy, please. I have English people on my facebook and they will laugh at you.

Unless you count bete.

Hey, psychology-guy. When you accuse other people of doing the thing that you personally are doing - what is that called?

[DapperButch]

Hey, psychology-guy. When you accuse other people of doing the thing that you personally are doing - what is that called?

Projection.

P.S. I don't like you.

P.P.S. Now that I don't like you I have to find someone new to stalk. Thanks a lot!

[betenoire]

Projection.

P.S. I don't like you.

Shhh, shhh. It's okay Dapper, I know. It's okay. You're gonna be okay.

'Cause I LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE you!

[DapperButch]

Shhh, shhh. It's okay Dapper, I know. It's okay. You're gonna be okay.

:worried: :blues: :bigcry:

[girl_dee]

The other day I read a book on Kindle, afterwards it asked if I liked the book or not, I clicked yes.

Couple of days later I log onto Facebook and there it is.. *Dee like (whateverbookitwas)* on Kindle *


GOOD Gods! What if that had been a book I didn't want the world to know I was reading? Luckily it was a safe one!

Facebook knows ALL..

[JustJo]

I have deleted my Facebook accounts (both personal and the one I made for "work friends")...and don't miss it at all.

Honestly, the drama factor in my life has decreased, my spam box doesn't fill up as fast, and I regained about an hour of my day every day.

My son is on Facebook, and I'm glad he has all the security that's available locked down tight, but I won't be back on it....ever.

[T4Texas]

I'd like to hear folk's thoughts about the "Who visited my profile" feature here.





I personally like the feature because I want to know who is visiting my profile. I also feel if you put yourself out in the public domain, then you are going to have to expect issues with privacy and make some kind of plan as to keeping it locked down.
I do not subscribe to facebook because they seem to have an abundance of privacy issues. I closed my MYSpace account and google myself from time to time to see how accurate the info out there is. I also keep a P.O. Box and rarely have mail sent to my house because my goal is to disappear into the woodwork as far as people finding me goes.

[grenade]

I'd like to hear folk's thoughts about the "Who visited my profile" feature here.

We have that feature as a fun way to see who's looking. It was meant as a "calling card" to say "Hey, Ebon stopped by your profile today!"

We have talked a couple of times about turning the feature completely off when frustrated with complaints like "I feel unsafe that so-and-so looked at my profile".

What do you think? Would you rather know who visited your profile or would you rather wonder about it?

My thought has always been that whatever is in your profile on this site is fairly "public" info, that there isn't really a reasonable expectation of privacy.

Curious what others think!
If you feel unsafe from a profile visit, you should probably log off and call 911.

Just kidding.


Although it may irritate me when I see a certain person logs onto my page daily, I choose to be here. I can't complain when I choose to be here. If it goes beyond irritation, I will log out. (Not really 'cause I have an internet addiction, but in theory, you get the jist.)

[Corkey]

A good rule of thumb, if you don't want others to judge your words, be careful with them. There is no privacy on the internet, so it would be kind of silly to think that just because you hide a profile, it doesn't mean people can't find you, see your words or figure out where you've been posting.
You being general you here.

[SoNotHer]

That's really good advice, Corkey. I have this discussion with my students.

After weeks of emails from an ex who mimicked or expanded on posts I left on Facebook, I took down my FB account. I've always been pretty careful about what I posted. But even so, my ex ,who was inclined to find reasons to sustain and an almost constant state of suspicion and jealousy, was tracking what I wrote and where. And though I applied every privacy control I could and though my life is not her business, she made it so.

So you are always being watched and no doubt judged on the internet. And you don't really necessarily know by whom and for what purpose.

A good rule of thumb, if you don't want others to judge your words, be careful with them. There is no privacy on the internet, so it would be kind of silly to think that just because you hide a profile, it doesn't mean people can't find you, see your words or figure out where you've been posting.
You being general you here.

[AtLast]

I'd like to hear folk's thoughts about the "Who visited my profile" feature here.

We have that feature as a fun way to see who's looking. It was meant as a "calling card" to say "Hey, Ebon stopped by your profile today!"

We have talked a couple of times about turning the feature completely off when frustrated with complaints like "I feel unsafe that so-and-so looked at my profile".

What do you think? Would you rather know who visited your profile or would you rather wonder about it?

My thought has always been that whatever is in your profile on this site is fairly "public" info, that there isn't really a reasonable expectation of privacy.

Curious what others think!


I agree with you tthat my profile here is anything but private. No, there is no reasonable expectation of privacy concerning our profiles here and I think it is up to us as individuals to keep that in mind when setting up our profile.

I don't have a problem with the "Who Visited" feature because of the fact that I think it is silly to have any expectation of privacy about our profiles. In fact, it could be a means for members to demonstrate stalking if they were to run into a serious situation and needed to report abuse- especially outside of the site in legal settings. And hopefully, something like that never arises for anyone here!

I do, however wish there was a feature that went beyond the ignore function that would enable our being able to stop members we don't want to visit our profiles at any time for any reason. Something akin to how FB allows members to block people from seeing any posts etc., even if you share friends. But, I have no idea if that is possible on vbulletin or if it was, would it be cost prohibitive.

I think Corky has some good advice about the fact that we all should exercise caution online with our information. But, the fact is that in the cyber-world, if someone wants to get info about anyone, they can probably find a way to do so. I think this is something we all need to realize and take appropriate action.

[Linus]

And to add further to the erosion of privacy we see this:

http://www.theblaze.com/stories/calif-appeals-court-approves-cell-phone-searches-during-traffic-stops/

..<snip>

The appellate court overturned that ruling, however, on the grounds that the search of the cellphone was part of the inventory check needed to process an impounded car.

Furthermore, the judge ruled that the examination of the cell phone was legal because police were allowed to survey the impounded car for their own safety, and to preserve evidence.

This decision was released solely to create a precedent for future cases, as Nattoli died on September 4th. So the most important outcome of the case is the appellate court’s decision, written by Franklin Elia, which read in part:

“The deputies had unqualified authority under Gant to search the passenger compartment of the vehicle and any container found therein, including Reid’s cell phone. It is up to the US Supreme Court to impose any greater limits on officers’ authority to search incident to arrest.”


We may well see this case head to the Supreme Court, as it appears anytime you are pulled over in the state of California, your entire cell phone is now fair game.

Really? It's ok to go into a locked phone now? local files on that phone are not necessarily meant to be shared. The Court System is showing it's age still at not understanding technology and that someone's privacy on a phone should be the same as a landline.

[SoNotHer]

Not good, Linus. Not good at all.


And to add further to the erosion of privacy we see this:

http://www.theblaze.com/stories/calif-appeals-court-approves-cell-phone-searches-during-traffic-stops/


Really? It's ok to go into a locked phone now? local files on that phone are not necessarily meant to be shared. The Court System is showing it's age still at not understanding technology and that someone's privacy on a phone should be the same as a landline.

[Kelt]

And to add further to the erosion of privacy we see this:

Really? It's ok to go into a locked phone now? local files on that phone are not necessarily meant to be shared. The Court System is showing it's age still at not understanding technology and that someone's privacy on a phone should be the same as a landline.

Thanks for sharing this story. What a friggin land mine.

[JAGG]

I'd like to hear folk's thoughts about the "Who visited my profile" feature here.

We have that feature as a fun way to see who's looking. It was meant as a "calling card" to say "Hey, Ebon stopped by your profile today!"

We have talked a couple of times about turning the feature completely off when frustrated with complaints like "I feel unsafe that so-and-so looked at my profile".

What do you think? Would you rather know who visited your profile or would you rather wonder about it?

My thought has always been that whatever is in your profile on this site is fairly "public" info, that there isn't really a reasonable expectation of privacy.

Curious what others think!
Oh heck no I don't have a problem with it all. Anyone and their sister can check it out a million times a day if they like. The more visitors the more popular I seem. May peak someones interest enough to get to know me better. hahaha Hasn't worked yet, but HEY could happen.

[JAGG]

Evidently, I'm an attorney in Fayetteville who is also an interior designer...and I guess I perform meditative music on Pandora, too.


:|
(Thankfully, I do not use my full legal name in my life!)

hahahahah The secret life of Diva. Who knew? If you get a speeding ticket in Fayetteville you know who to call now!

Apparently I died in like 1868 . Which as it turns out was a great thing if you ask me. The best thing that ever happened to me. I had what seems to be a miserable nightmare of a life. I was married to some guy think his name was tom and I had like 5 kids too . Holy shit!:seeingstars: Then I showed up again in 1898, I guess I just never learn, because I made the same damn mistakes again, married some guy and had a nightmare life with 3 kids and at 71 yrs old I admitted my maiden name was Hooker to some newspaper.Finally kicked the bucket in 1908. Holy crap am I'm glad that is over with. hahahahahahahahahahahahaha I'm never looking back . No wonder I'm not one to live in the past. hahahaha Singing>>>> Blue skys shing on me, nothing but blue eyes do I see. Things are much better now, in case you were wondering.

[SecretAgentMa'am]

I'm completely baffled by the whole concept of people feeling "unsafe" because they know someone looked at their public profile. If you're worried about a stalker, would you prefer that they be able to closely monitor your profile in complete anonymity? I suppose some people just can't stand not having some drama going on all the time.

I recently deleted my Facebook account because I was no longer willing to deal with their privacy issues. I read a few articles about the new profile pages they're rolling out soon, and I decided to jump ship before that happened. If anyone isn't aware, Facebook is about to start encouraging users to enter their medical histories (and will be using your status updates to update your profile information as well), which FB will then sell, mostly to insurance companies. If someone is making a lot of money running a website that you're using for free, it's because you're the product, not the consumer. I've switched over to Google+, which certainly isn't perfect but is light years better than FB.

If you Google my legal name, all you'll find is some really bad Forever Knight fanfiction I wrote when I was a teenager. I haven't used my legal name for anything but work, school, banking, and the DMV for at least 15 years. If you know the name I use online, you can find a bit of information about me, but nothing damning.

[AtLast]

I'm completely baffled by the whole concept of people feeling "unsafe" because they know someone looked at their public profile. If you're worried about a stalker, would you prefer that they be able to closely monitor your profile in complete anonymity? I suppose some people just can't stand not having some drama going on all the time.

I recently deleted my Facebook account because I was no longer willing to deal with their privacy issues. I read a few articles about the new profile pages they're rolling out soon, and I decided to jump ship before that happened. If anyone isn't aware, Facebook is about to start encouraging users to enter their medical histories (and will be using your status updates to update your profile information as well), which FB will then sell, mostly to insurance companies. If someone is making a lot of money running a website that you're using for free, it's because you're the product, not the consumer. I've switched over to Google+, which certainly isn't perfect but is light years better than FB.

If you Google my legal name, all you'll find is some really bad Forever Knight fanfiction I wrote when I was a teenager. I haven't used my legal name for anything but work, school, banking, and the DMV for at least 15 years. If you know the name I use online, you can find a bit of information about me, but nothing damning.

True about being able to see who might be "stalking." And profiles here don't have to have much of anything on them, anyway.

I have been thinking about the fact that I have different names on all kinds of stuff and that all of my "creds" and professional licenses except for one, are under names that unless someone has known me for a zillion years or is related to me would have no idea of. For a long time, this bugged me because of the whole thing of having changed names in relationship to "other," or as "pen" now, I think it is a good thing. Who would have guessed? At one time, I wanted to change everything to one name. Forget it!

I keep thinking about FB- I like it a lot and it has enabled me to stay in touch well with many, but so many people that are tech-savvy (I'm not) have pointed out many things that concern me. We have to take the bad with the good with social network websites, but it helps to have some knowledge (even as a tech-moron) for decidion making about using them. After learning about some of the spyware that my niece is now aquainted with and her going through what is possible to find out about people online, I developed a whole new sense about this stuff and with her help, am making changes. Helps that most of my working career was working for myself after the early years and I established my own "benefits."

[*Anya*]

Oh heck no I don't have a problem with it all. Anyone and their sister can check it out a million times a day if they like. The more visitors the more popular I seem. May peak someones interest enough to get to know me better. hahaha Hasn't worked yet, but HEY could happen.

Medusa, does not bother me @ all! I find it interesting when one or more of the same people "visit" me daily but have never sent a friend request!

What's up with that, I wonder, but don't wonder for too long!

I rarely, rarely use FB and have minimal personal info on it. I have kept it primarily for family but have thought of all the privacy changes and do nit like them at all.

I think I posted one time that I Googled my real name and found one person in Chicago (deceased, if I recall) and a few in Germany-surname Deutsch, of course.

That made me feel better.

PS: Guten Morgen all!!

[JAGG]

The other day I read a book on Kindle, afterwards it asked if I liked the book or not, I clicked yes.

Couple of days later I log onto Facebook and there it is.. *Dee like (whateverbookitwas)* on Kindle *


GOOD Gods! What if that had been a book I didn't want the world to know I was reading? Luckily it was a safe one!

Facebook knows ALL..

Roflol! Hey Cajun can you give us some examples? We need some clarity on that. Ha

[SecretAgentMa'am]

The other day I read a book on Kindle, afterwards it asked if I liked the book or not, I clicked yes.

Couple of days later I log onto Facebook and there it is.. *Dee like (whateverbookitwas)* on Kindle *


GOOD Gods! What if that had been a book I didn't want the world to know I was reading? Luckily it was a safe one!

Facebook knows ALL..

Only if you enter your Facebook info into your Kindle. Your Kindle will only post to Facebook if you tell it to.

[Dominique]

I deleted fake book today. I almost never looked at it anymore. I cleaned up the cookies and ran a defrag. Not sure if that helped anything or not.....it made me feel like I was getting facebook cooties off of my laptop. I'll clean up my desk top later.

[1QuirkyKiwi]

People can look all they want at my profile, I've nothing to hide and nothing to see, either, lol!

[girl_dee]

Roflol! Hey Cajun can you give us some examples? We need some clarity on that. Ha


Sure, Let's see, hmmm I think it was, "How to Appreciate the Perfect Mother" by Lizzie Borden..

Surely I would never read smut or anything. :angel:




Only if you enter your Facebook info into your Kindle. Your Kindle will only post to Facebook if you tell it to.

Yup, I "undid" that feature! Next I should check into "Kindle for Dummies"

[Linus]

I wanted to comment on the FB thing. In Canada FB is actually different in it's behaviour than what it's like in the US. And that is largely due to some laws that are in place to protect an individual's privacy (most notably is Personal Information Protection and Electronic Documents Act (PIPEDA)). An individual's private "stuff" (whatever that may be) has to be protected by both gov't and corp from being violated by a third party. That's something that doesn't exist in the US.

In fact, the culture seems to accept that an individual's "stuff" has to be protected by an individual. And that may have been an ok viewpoint 30+ years ago, today with the internet not so much. It's a lot harder to know who is giving what to whom. Both FB and Google+ have clauses in the EULA (that's that thing you agreed to when you signed up and that they change when they notify you of those changes, if they notify you) about the fact that once you sign up you agree to allow them the right to use your info as they see fit.

It's interesting how politicians go on about stuff and trying to control the internet and yet, they have no desire or intent on creating this because... well, ain't Americans (is what I've seen historically). It stops the free market from working. That isn't true. The free market is happily working well in Canada. It just makes the free market more responsible about what happens and levels the playing field a bit more for both the seller and consumer.

[AtLast]

Thanks Linus for the info about the US and Canadian differences.

I am at the point with FB that I want to close my account not so much to privacy issues, but how whatever it is running in terms of scripts has just been messing with my PC.

I just don't have the tech knowledge to deal with this and to be honest, I don't want to spend time dealing with it unless there is a simple solution that I can understand and use with simplicity. I'm just not of the computer age and although I see the vast positive influences of today's technology, find that I am more apt to close an account on a social networking site that drives me crazy.

I have really enjoyed FB in terms of it being great for me to keep in touch with people- especially our community. I don't want to let this go, but might have to. I wish I had more patience with this stuff.

[Linus]

http://www.rasmussen.edu/images/blogs/1314798134-top-security-breaches.jpg

[Kobi]

I am not tech savy and sometimes not very observant until stuff smacks me in the face.

I am noticing a trend now where products I have looked at or info I have search is turning up as ads on unrelated web pages. For example, yesterday I was checking out headphones on amazon. Today, I have amazon ads featuring the exact headphones I was looking at on unrelated web sites.

Is this a shared tracking cookie thing? Or, something I should be concerned about? Will clearing out cookies daily stop it from happening?

[Sachita]

I am not tech savy and sometimes not very observant until stuff smacks me in the face.

I am noticing a trend now where products I have looked at or info I have search is turning up as ads on unrelated web pages. For example, yesterday I was checking out headphones on amazon. Today, I have amazon ads featuring the exact headphones I was looking at on unrelated web sites.

Is this a shared tracking cookie thing? Or, something I should be concerned about? Will clearing out cookies daily stop it from happening?




yes and it is invasive IMO but almost every platform allows it. It depends which browser you're using but you can turn them off or there is software you can buy to help you do this. I personally think we should be given the choice before hand when we install things and Microsoft should add a feature, that really works, where we know when something is being installed or a setting changed. But then again they are part of the game.

There is lots of info out there if you do a search on google to properly set up your PC. Be forewarned it could slow you down a little

[imperfect_cupcake]

Well... considering I'm a writer and I write autobiographical stuff on sex, relationships, adventures, drugs, exes (no names, nothing identifying), my childhood etc... that can be found in my book and on my blog - I kinda don't have much expectation of privacy. But I made that choice.

Do I care? When I got a letter saying "your book has now been accepted by Barnes&Nobles and WH Smith..." I have to say I blanched a bit. There's some seriously graphic sex I've had in it... then I just thought "fuck it. I write. this is what I write. does it actually affect me if people know I'm multi orgasmic? no. not really." What it does do is leave me open for assholes to take pot shots at me, send me weird emails, call me names (some of the people I know on an english lezzo board HATE me cause I'm very open about sex and talking about it. They think it's boring and I must be mental/seeking attention mental... etc. So I do leave myself open for some pretty venomous asshole remarks, emails, IMs etc. I've had three stalkers and people send me all kinds of weird crap like porn and bizzare requests that I help them have anal sex with their friend. That one was from a girl I had asked out on a date. She found my book, read it then text me and said that she was round her mates and was interested in having anal sex with her but unsure of how to go about it.
I told her "use an oven glove" then blocked her

So being public with private things does bring out the annoying in some people. But the choice I have is to work under a pen name - which I do :D - and keep my real last name so when I go into massage therapy, that will remain different.
Plus my name on face book isn't mine. :D it's my pen name.

I also have an entirely different name for my other job.

I think it's easier to compartmentalise one's life with different names....

[Sachita]

In reference to honeybarbara

I don't walk around hiding and its not about who finds what out about me. Many people know my name, my past, where I live yadda yadda. I honestly don't worry about it. I'm queer, I'm kinky, I'm a lot of things- so what? I work for myself, pay my own bills and if someone doesn't want to do business with me because if it then they can go fuck themselves.

BUT I decide.

I do not want my personal privacy while in my own home, on my PERSONAL PC, to collect data to sell me things. Its kind of freaking knowing my shit is being tracked. I think its wrong to collect this data without asking first.

[imperfect_cupcake]

ok... I wasn't really talking about that though... I was just speaking in general about my experiences of "putting myself out there" as a lot of people ARE needing to protect their greater privacy... it's not about shame for many people - they really do have to protect themselves because of their work or because... they just find that info way too personal.

I live in a culture where asking if you are married is considered kinda borderline rude. If I meet someone in a pub, I don't ask what do you do for work, are you married, got any kids... blah blah normal stuff. direct questions of that type are considered rude and personal. I personally have given up on trying to play along cause my brain just can't cope with the tango it has to do in it's head, but I respect their strange notions of what is private.

People need different levels. most people were talking about very tight levels. I was just chipping in what it's like when those security levels are flappin in the breeze :)

[Sachita]

It is, there is a list of the People's Choice top 5, but I'll put them here too. I have and am liking hidemyass simply because it can be installed on multiple computers and you can have two simultaneous connections and/or you can install it on the router if it is compatible and everything that connects to your router will run through it.

That said, I'm sure the others are also very good. The main thing you don't want to do is get one that charges you for data transfer bandwidth.

The Top 5 People’s Choice VPN providers for 2012 (in order):

1) Hide My Ass VPN - https://hidemyass.com/
2) IP Vanish - http://www.ipvanish.com/
3) Express VPN - https://www.expressvpn.com/order
4) Pure VPN - http://www.purevpn.com/vpn-service/vpnsp-exclusive.php
5) Overplay VPN - https://www.overplay.net/

[tantalizingfemme]

Jumping off of Linus' post about identity theft...

I have recently been trying to file my taxes and they kept getting rejected. The reason for the rejection was that my TIN (Tax information number) did not match what the IRS had on record.

The website I was going through to file only had video chat help available, and I was having trouble getting a live person to talk to. I finally called the IRS yesterday to find out what I was doing wrong, and it turns out that someone else had filed taxes already, using my social security number and personal information.

Now after some googling, I found out that this isn't uncommon, that people's personal information gets stolen and then used to file false tax returns for refunds.

How did they get my info? I have absolutely no idea, yet, someone got my name, ss# and birthdate. This shit is scary. And to think, I only found out by trying to file my taxes.

Now I have to go through all of the steps to protect myself, pretty much for the rest of my life, because who knows who has this info and when in the future it will be used again.

Be safe.

[Kelt]

I actually started carrying identity insurance a few years ago. I use Lifelock.com (http://www.lifelock.com) and have been happy with them. I don't know if I would be having problems without it, but they do all of the routine maintenance around staying on top of things like stopping credit offers, making sure credit reports are ordered, and sending me alerts for possible breaches.

They also provide legal services if something were to happen. Given how much damage and loss could occur if my identity were to be stolen, I like having some peace of mind. Compared to things like car or home insurance it's dirt cheap and for me falls in the same category. There are several companies out there offering similar services.

[Martina]

I have found it really hard to adjust to having to censor myself online. I gave up FB a few months ago for several reasons, but that is one of them. I still have an ersatz account from which I play Farmville (to which -- regrettably -- I am dedicated.)

Anyway, having to be careful about discussing my job really annoys me. Someone threatened to contact my employer and reveal info re my kink life. She no longer knows where I work because I have changed jobs. But she knows my profession and the part of the world I live in.

It's just so annoying having to edit myself. I have a niche within a niche job now. So if I were to be explicit, it would take a few key strokes to locate me. Yet it's hard to share on the education thread without accidentally exposing some aspect of my job.

That I have to even THINK of that is perhaps the worst part of it. And then I wonder whether it is best if I don't share that info on the web. I guess it is.

But when I am reminded of my lack of safety, I become resentful. And I know the person who caused this would delight in that. It makes me sad to never be able to leave all that behind. Well, I could if I did not return to the Planet. But I haven't been willing to do that.

[imperfect_cupcake]

I have found it really hard to adjust to having to censor myself online. I gave up FB a few months ago for several reasons, but that is one of them. I still have an ersatz account from which I play Farmville (to which -- regrettably -- I am dedicated.)

Anyway, having to be careful about discussing my job really annoys me. Someone threatened to contact my employer and reveal info re my kink life. She no longer knows where I work because I have changed jobs. But she knows my profession and the part of the world I live in.

It's just so annoying having to edit myself. I have a niche within a niche job now. So if I were to be explicit, it would take a few key strokes to locate me. Yet it's hard to share on the education thread without accidentally exposing some aspect of my job.

That I have to even THINK of that is perhaps the worst part of it. And then I wonder whether it is best if I don't share that info on the web. I guess it is.

But when I am reminded of my lack of safety, I become resentful. And I know the person who caused this would delight in that. It makes me sad to never be able to leave all that behind. Well, I could if I did not return to the Planet. But I haven't been willing to do that.

It's bloody hard, innit.

I'm glad I've got my pen name but I can't mention back inuendo and somewhat cloaked reference what I do for a living on FB. My career will change in two years and those borders don't mix well. that my screen name is fairly linked to me over the past 12 years, I've done a stupid thing to name it on this site. But jesus, I'm not good at closets.
I was going to not be closeted on FB but a couple of my exes freaked on me (one works in new media) and told me to keep my stupid gob shut if I ever wanted to work anything but self self employed.

I hate cloaking even in the slightest way. I can't mention any of my work on my blog and the stuff I would love to say about my job on a daily basis, jesus wept.

I'll have to make a secondary pen name after I move and write the stories to self publish when I get home. Still frustrating that I can't promote it as who I am. it will have to surf on it's own. >:(

[Linus]

So, something to add to this discussion. Instagram recently updated their TOS and this article (http://bits.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/12/17/what-instagrams-new-terms-of-service-mean-for-you/) highlights the main issues. Basically, the issues are as follows:

1. Instagram can share information about its users with Facebook, its parent company, as well as outside affiliates and advertisers.

2. You could star in an advertisement — without your knowledge.

3. Underage users are not exempt.

4. Ads may not be labeled as ads.

5. Want to opt out? Delete your account.

I have a feeling that the TOS might be somewhat different in Canada and other countries (as they have some stringent privacy laws) but the US will definitely be victim to this and most people probably won't even realize it. :seeingstars:

[Kelt]

So, something to add to this discussion. Instagram recently updated their TOS and this article (http://bits.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/12/17/what-instagrams-new-terms-of-service-mean-for-you/) highlights the main issues. Basically, the issues are as follows:

1. Instagram can share information about its users with Facebook, its parent company, as well as outside affiliates and advertisers.

2. You could star in an advertisement — without your knowledge.

3. Underage users are not exempt.

4. Ads may not be labeled as ads.

5. Want to opt out? Delete your account.

I have a feeling that the TOS might be somewhat different in Canada and other countries (as they have some stringent privacy laws) but the US will definitely be victim to this and most people probably won't even realize it. :seeingstars:

Thank you for this.

I have Instagram on my phone but have never used it. There are other appps that do the same thing.

Deleting now.


:groupphoto: