The Love list.

[Mr Nice Guy]

The Love List.

Hi all, my name is Elusive and I saw this on Oprah. Its about these three women who are unlucky in love. So what they did was create a love list. Whats a love list you ask? Its a list of qualities you want in a partner. You see these three women didnt know about each other but they all had the same problem as some of us have here.Finding that true love.I know we are all looking but sometimes we let our negative thoughts get in the way of finding that one that makes your heart melt. Thats called bad karma. What these ladies did was to right down the traits they wanted and then they put the list somewhere. Two of these ladies met their partners and got married and after that they were going through their stuff. they came upon the list only to find out that what they listed was found in the person they met. I know that when I looked for someone I made all the wrong choices so I decided to try it and see if it works.<<disallowed word>>
<<disallowed word>>It all comes down to being honest with youself and writing it down not only reminds us but gives us good karma.Also it doesnt hurt. Ill share mine with you and who knows we might all make a match.
1.Honest
2.Loyal
3.Femme
4.Good job
5. Kind
6. loves animals
7.Sweet
8.Gentle
9.affectionate
10.unselfish
11.35-50
12.can cook
13.giving
14.lesbian
15.good heart
16.unconditional love
17.forgiving
18.punctual
19.thoughtful
20.considerate
21.sexy
22.someone who appreciates
23.family oriented

Dont be afraid to be honest. cause not being honest will get you what you had before. So Im trying it and i hope it works. Oh heck it will work if your positive!!!

[Mr Nice Guy]

God what a pain!! No bad words were used. ;(

[Pixie]

1-Honest
2-Trusting/Trustworthy
3-Attentive
4-Balanced
5-Kinky
6-Daddy
7-Affectionate
8-Open to receiving affection
9-Wants children
10-Patient
11-Butch
12-Proud
13-Hard Worker
14-Enjoys both routine and spontaneity
15-Animal lover
16-Non materialistic
17-Protective
18-Has a sense of humor
19-Manages time and money well
20-Has manners
21-Appreciative
22-Has a sex drive
23-Enjoys bowling, and doesn't mind getting their butt whooped!!
24-Takes care of themselves
25-Doesn't allow the baggage of the past to weigh down the flight to the future
26-Doesn't assume
27-Enjoys the outdoors/water
28-Open minded
29-Likes to make the decisions sometimes
30-Isn't afraid of the words "I love you" and "forever" when they are earned

[Mr Nice Guy]

Great list Pixie!! I hope others come and add their list. :)

[clay]

I have been cogitating on my "love list" for quite a while now. I am going to list some semblance of what I would like to see in a potential mate/partner.
Just let me say while making a list is a wonderful idea.... I know in all reality that every womyn is unique, has her own qualities, and we will work on a harmonious blend of our two unique individualities. For me, there are just some platitudes that should be there....without my having to list them.....but for sake of brevity, I will do so.
Foremost are all those things most of us want to have in our partners...

Honesty.......communicative...integrity....moral/ethical compass & turpitude

High self esteem......self confidence.......kindness to me, to others, and to pets

Emotionally available......over the exes....is not tied to and doesn't live with the exes!...friendly is okay...joined at the hips is NOT!!!.. able to live INDEPENDENTLY of the EX. and have her OWN identity now

While I want her to be with me, I want her to be able to live in the moment with me, not the "I can't live without you" kind of moment......she will have her friends whom she wants to spend time with, hang out with, and would need to be accepting and respectful of the same with me. Girls' night out and/or bois night out is wholesome!!! I am secure enough in whom I am to be able to respect this in a partner!!! So should she!

I would like to find a BBW femme with tomboyish qualities (I am NOT threatened by this at all! I am secure in whom I am!!!all the above and with these physical attributes:
35-58 (these ages are NOT "written in stone"...and I am highly flexible...as I believe age is just a number and I am NOT hung up on it!!) so you shouldn't be either!!!

HT.: 5'0" to 5'6"....I like to kiss "down" into her, not "up".....is just a personal preference BUT is not written in stone, so to speak.....

Prefer NON smoker
Social drinker

Sense of humor
Able to receive and to give
Open to compromise
Willingness to commit
Actually want a BF relationship........while being butch, it does NOT mean I am not willing to receive affections from my partner
Intense libido....as do I......
Social graces
Spontaneous
intellectual parity
Wants to spend time together, first and foremost....while being able to allow for individual time
Laid back
Easy going
Intuitive
Be accepting of my tattoos (I have 5, in good taste)
NO TEMPERS, please!!!!
Spiritual, but not religious (and certainly NOT a Zealot!)
Be employed or have regular source of income....I have no problem with combining monetary resources to build a life of US!! when we reach that point!!!
Know that life will, and does throw us curveballs...and be able to go with the flow..be flexible..adaptive...
Be tolerant of one another's frailties...don't sweat the small stuff...fix the bigger things but be willing to compromise on smaller issues...
Bedroom behavior is strictly private and between the two uf us....so those things we will discuss when we are together in private!
I want her to be able to take my breath away...each and every time I see her. From right by my side to from across the room.
Enjoy the small, loving gestures I will bestow upon you...enjoying and cherishing every one of them.
Be active in our relationship...ensuring the romance stays alive...be a participant, not an observer!
Be spontaneous...be willing to "grab a toothbrush" and go...
Want to emotionally invest in US....

While this is a start....there is much more...I want you to have an idea of whom I am and what I look for in a mate...if you have any questions or want to know more...please contact me...I would love to go there with you in depth...and YOU know who you are!!! Ms. Independence!!! <wink> Clay

[Mr Nice Guy]

Great list Clay. :)

[LaneyDoll]

Fun!!! Let me try? And I am going to swipe Pixie's list then edit b/c her list matches me well. (I heart you Pixie!)

I am going to limit myself to 30 otherwise I could be here all day and half the night ;)

1-Honesty (it is sad that you HAVE to list this)
2-Trusting/Trustworthy (sad that you have to list this too)
3-Attentive-I want to be the focus of someone's world; I do not ever want to be/feel second (kids aside, I understand the importance of the parent/child relationship)
4-Balanced
5-Kinky
6-Butch or Andro, Daddy preferred
7-Affectionate
8-Realizes that relationships take work and commitment
9-Wants children
10-Patient
11-Loves music & movies and IS NOT a couch potato
12-Finds pleasure in the little things
13-Has passion (for life, for love) I embrace life to the fullest.
14-Enjoys time together and time apart. I do not cling and do not want someone who does.
15-Enjoys a variety of activities and likes trying new things
16-Enjoys going out just as much as they enjoy staying in
17-Protective
18-Has a sense of humor
19-Manages time (if I can be on time you can) and money well (but is not cheap)
20-Has manners and uses them
21-Likes their career
22-Has a high sex drive and initiates sleepy sex b/c I like waking up that way in the middle of the night
23-Takes care of themselves & supports that I may want my ultra femme time upon occasion
24-Does not expect me to always be in ultra femme mode
25-Doesn't live in the past (I do not want to feel like I come up short in comparisons)
26-Not a "taker" (I am a giver who is getting tired of always giving and not getting)
27-Either in my lifestyle or supportive of my place in it
28-Likes to take control but is not a control freak
29-Non Smoker
30-Social or Non-Drinker

[cinderella]

I love your signature line!! :)

I've read the lists, and they are commendable. I'm not listing because I am burnt out, old, jaded, and bitter...I will now leave this thread 'cause y'all certainly don't need my negativity. Good luck all in finding that elusive 'perfect life-mate'.

I have only truly loved once in my life. I have spent 40 years trying to find that again without success, so I quit. I have my puppy Pinky - now that's what I call unconditional love!

[Gráinne]

For me, a list like this is not only about seeking "out there", but is really a list of traits we want in ourselves-a list of our highest selves, so to speak. I'm not talking about butch seeking femme and vice versa, or physical traits-those count, too, but I suspect the inner traits are within our own souls, or we wish them to be. If relationships are truly mirrors, then we seek what we already have within. At heart, we want what makes us grow.

So, my list isn't what I seek in a partner (though if one showed up, great!), but rather what I want to grow in myself over the next year, June to June:

1. Patience
2. Tolerance
3. Openness (general)
4. Outgoingness
5. Appreciation of beauty in art, music, and writing,
6. Self-expression
7. Peace within; calmness
8. Having said that, great passion and fire within
9. Greater mind-body connection
10. High level of self-care
11. Respect and care for friendships
12. Hard work
13. Creativity
14. Inner joy
15. Care of surroundings
16. Experimental (in food, art, music, etc.)
17. Sense of humor
18. Compassion
19. Having a cause
20. Independence
21. Confidence
22. Sensuality
23. Sexuality, inner and perhaps with partners
24. Sense of adventure
25. Time on more hobbies
26. Education, always growing
27. Joy at work
28. Openness and readiness for love
29. Good physical health
30. Mentally tough

[undone]

Oprah? She's still around?
I love a list so I just have to participate!

Honest
Sincere
Intelligence
Common sense
Un addicted
Must love animals
Community inspired
Dose not want to have own kids
Can have existing
Respectful
Social grace
Manners
Articulate
Speaks the truth
Stands up for self and others
Stubborn
Enjoys doing things together and separate
Prefers the TV and computer turned off
Family importance
Wants the best with out perfection
Self worth
Playful
Disciplined
Preferably a bit older, because that is my personality not because I am looking for a parent.
Understanding of the changing nature of life and the world around
Understands us time and me times are equally important
Funny and lets me think I am too
The hard stuff: be strong enough to handle my moodiness, and playful enough to play anyways. Respect my independence and why I need it.
Be willing to take the lead but able to share when I have an agenda.
Be willing and honest enough to discuss difficult topics with a difference of opinion. a discussion is the sharing of thoughts, not I'm right your wrong.
Understands that a committed relationship is that when each decides that they chose to not let another soul or thing to come between them (children should be the only exception and that should be a mutual belief) that the future should be a shared investment and goal.
Don't compare today with the past, there is a reason it is in the past.

[LaneyDoll]

For me, a list like this is not only about seeking "out there", but is really a list of traits we want in ourselves-a list of our highest selves, so to speak. I'm not talking about butch seeking femme and vice versa, or physical traits-those count, too, but I suspect the inner traits are within our own souls, or we wish them to be. If relationships are truly mirrors, then we seek what we already have within. At heart, we want what makes us grow.

Damn!!! I am officially speechless and my friends will tell you-that rarely happens.

This is beautifully stated. I may have to email it to myself as a reminder (with your permission of course).

:)

[Mr Nice Guy]

Ok we need more lists people!!:)

[MrSunshine]

1. Sweet

everything else is cake

[Mr Nice Guy]

I like that. Quick and to the point.

[bigbutchmistie]

My List

Honest

Loyal

Trustworthy I can trust her with my life. This is VERY important

Extremely girly but aggressive

Is over 30.

Believes In God

Doesn't have children to raise

Romantic. Someone who doesn't expect me to just be romantic with her. Someone who loves treating her butch like a king as she will be treated as my queen.

Employed. Self sufficient

Non Smoker

No drugs social drinker is fine no drunks

Doesn't have cats. I'm highly allergic

Can handle me with ease

Has Common Sense

Tender

Patient

Affectionate

Nurturing

Understanding

Inuitive of my needs

Emotionally Supportive

Knows how to be on time

Someone who is highly sexual and isn't a pillow princess

Someone who puts relationships a priority and not an option

Someone is who is spontaneous. Who can and will drop everything at a moments notice to go a way together.

Someone who loves being femme but can be relaxed in just shorts and a t shirt.

Isn't materialistic. Enjoys the little things.

Has and uses manners

Protective of me as I am of her.

[Mr Nice Guy]

Great list!! I'm glad you all are filling it out. I believe it works. It did for some on another site. Oh you all can call me Handsome or Elusive or the King love bumper. Always here to help find love. ;)

[bigbutchmistie]

Oh yea and someone who wants to have a commitment ceremony traditional with her in a long flowing white wedding dress and me in tuxedo. :).

[lillith]

I have 1, as well:

Integrity

When a person has integrity all the traits of honesty, loyalty, honor, etc don't need to be stated, ya know? For me, they are all interrelated, and you cannot have one without the others. So it is just one. Well, maybe brown eyes too, but that is flexible.

[siam_blue]

Hi all,

Well, here goes--off the top of my head (before bed). ;)

-handsome butch
-Top
-Daddy
-good sense of humour
-serious
-intelligent
-possesses good spelling and grammar
-well-employed and enjoys their job
-Canadian!
-someone who won't let me get away with shit!
-believes in honesty and lives their life with integrity and compassion
-gentle but firm
-prioritizes travelling
-someone who drives
-someone who loves cats and dogs and animals in general
-someone who speaks more than one language
-someone who wants a committed relationship
-someone aged 40-45 or so
-someone who accepts me for me and is not bothered that i have a mobility disability

There you have it! You did say to be specific! :)

[Mr Nice Guy]

Keep it going peeps!! Love the lists and yes, we all will find love. :)

[Starrynightaw]

Okay here goes a few im just grabbing out of the thoughts.

Honest
Loyal
Over 30
Wants kids
Family orientated
Wants a marriage/ commitment ceremony at some point
Stable financially and emotionally
Dominant
Aggressive
Protective
Loves animals
Monogamous

Thats pretty good so far. :)

[Mr Nice Guy]

Hey Starry, nice list Now remember people to think positive!!! I have faith enough for all of us and I mean ALL of us. ;)

[bigbutchmistie]

Hey Starry, nice list Now remember people to think positive!!! I have faith enough for all of us and I mean ALL of us. ;)

I'm glad you have hope Elusive cause I lost hope. That's my list and its non negotiable.

[Mr Nice Guy]

Big, it will happen even if I have to help. I think you know me on the other site. "Handsome" ring a bell? If you know me there then you know how I can be. So yes I do have faith that you will find love with or without my help. :)

[cinderella]

You are one very easy dude...or are you? ;)


1. Sweet

everything else is cake

[Puplove]

I have one:

Be the Oiler.

Funny how all those MUSTS become insignificant when you meet the one, because the one just fits. If everything was exactly according to the requirements I'd planned, it would be kind of creepy. How would I know the Oiler was a real person and not just a a co-dependent extension of myself? Someone with real wishes, self-determination, quirks and flaws that don't depend on my approval? A real person I can love and trust to be himself while loving me for who I am too.

A key ingredient is that I had to love and be confident in myself and my flaws, and quirks first, to be truly happy with myself and my own company. Then, the person right for you can find you because you're showing your true self in every situation.

[dixie]

Someone I can trust who trusts me in return.

Someone who can be my friend, not just my partner/lover.

Someone who appreciates me as I am, as a whole, inside and out.

Someone who not only appreciates me but enjoys me as well.

Someone who realizes that when I fall in love, I love deeply.

Someone who realizes that when I go into a relationship I go in looking for forever, not for "just now".

[Mr Nice Guy]

Dixie, now that's a great list. I know a beautiful woman like you will not have a problem. :)

[girl_dee]

I can see why it took me so long to find a life partner. :confused:

I don't know how to be on time and I am not patient, now I know what I was doing wrong! (I am working on the patience thing)

Are any of us as perfect as these lists?? :|

If these are non negotiable, how do you go about finding the perfect human being? I mean I understand addictions and major obstacles like children but wow, some of these are pretty small things in the grand scheme of life..

Just wondering....

[girl_dee]

Dixie, now that's a great list. I know a beautiful woman like you will not have a problem. :)

But, but beautiful is just part of it.. (and I agree she is)..what if she ummm does not love dogs or something? Beautiful can only go so far... What if she has a tendency to be late or tap her toe... That's it?


:|


disclaimer: Hypothetically using Dixie here, I am sure she loves dogs.

[dixie]

I can see why it took me so long to find a life partner. :confused:

I don't know how to be on time and I am not patient, now I know what I was doing wrong! (I am working on the patience thing)

Are any of us as perfect as these lists?? :|

If these are non negotiable, how do you go about finding the perfect human being? I mean I understand addictions and major obstacles like children but wow, some of these are pretty small things in the grand scheme of life..

Just wondering....



I'd say for some, it's just a wishlist. For others, perhaps these things are necessities. I agree that I've looked at a few of these lists and thought the same thing Sassy lol.

For me personally, mine is a wishlist of things I would like. Hopefully my list doesn't come across as too superficial, as it deals with core things important to me. I know I'm not perfect. I also wouldn't want a perfect partner. That would be kinda boring. For me, I just want someone genuine who genuinely wants me in return. :)

[dixie]

But, but beautiful is just part of it.. (and I agree she is)..what if she ummm does not love dogs or something? Beautiful can only go so far... What if she has a tendency to be late or tap her toe... That's it?


:|


disclaimer: Hypothetically using Dixie here, I am sure she loves dogs.

Oh, like I said...I am very far from perfect. Although I do love dogs and am never late (lol), I have many many more faults, just as most other folks do. (The occasional toe-tapping, talking too much sometimes, yada yada, the list probably goes on and on...lol) I don't see myself as beautiful, therefore beauty/looks doesn't go very far in my opinion. Hopefully it's the little things, the positive things, that will help outweigh my faults in the eyes of someone special to me. Just as any faults they have are outweighed by their positives. I guess for me it's all about balances. :)

Oh, and I will also say that I agree with Puplove, that when you meet that someone, all those little things disappear. Sometimes, even what you once considered a fault kinda melts away, and sometimes even becomes an endearing quality.

[asphaltcowboi]

wow alot of great lists.. seems most of us are looking for pretty much the same thing.. hmm ..for me i think looking for the small things in someone is what keeps me for "jumping" into a relationship.
looks are only somewhat important but not as important as someone that keeps themself clean/sharp and have self pride. but for my liking has to be femme.
someone who respects me but does not fear me.
will tell me when im wrong (not just let it slide)
someone that can agree to disagree without a underlieing reason
someone willing to be 50/50.. yard work,house work and excepts that im butch and i prefer to do the heavy stuff.
someone that will be themself right from the start not change soon as they know my heart is into them. other then the natural growing/changing.
someone who loves animals
someone who has self esteem with or without me by there side.
does not change just to impress others
someone who is comfertable in there own skin and is just as comfertable next to mine.
drives my energy level puts that extra bounce in my step
lets me know were all good in pubic.. like when others are checking her out she takes my hand or slips her hand in my back pocket or puts an arm around me.
doesnt care about my spelling or my lazy way of talking
sees more in me then just a butch biker motor head.
someone that believes that forever does and can happen
i could do pages of stuff but i think for me it gets down to someone who loves me for me and that i can love them for them.. not phoney..but is always true to there inner being and not afraid to be that person
im sure there is more but basics.. be yourself not who you think i would want you to be. give me the chance to know who you really are befor i break my own heart.

[LaneyDoll]

Beautiful can only go so far...

I agree! And don't forget---"pretty is as pretty does." You can be the most stunningly beautiful woman in the room and have an ugly heart and who is attracted to that?

[LaneyDoll]

Dixie, now that's a great list. I know a beautiful woman like you will not have a problem. :)

Yes, Dixie is quite lovely. And I hope she does not mind that we are referencing the comment directed at her. :)

Sometimes I think that the prettier someone is, the harder time they have. People automatically write you off as unapproachable, stuck-up, obviously involved etc. I may be wrong though, these are just my random thoughts on Tuesday morning.

[girl_dee]

Damn, now I think I love Dixie.

Nope, I know it.

she loves dogs :awww:

[Mr Nice Guy]

Hey Ladies, can't read it all but I think on my list it doesn't say anything about being on time. Heck as long as you love me I'm happy. Oh and have a great day beautiful Ladies and cute butches. I love the Ladies!!!:)

[Glenn]

Damn, now I think I love Dixie.

Nope, I know it.

she loves dogs :awww:

Dogs are more loyal lol!
I have been searching for a genuine psi-kick connection from way over here.. behind the screen...behind the veil of maya/ delusion. Someone who feels me..intuits me.. who knows what I'm thinking..going to say..without speaking.. a solid higher soul connection.. who I dream about when I see their pic...that's all. Bottom line is everyone needs to be truly loved.

[Mr Nice Guy]

Dogs are more loyal lol!
I have been searching for a genuine psi-kick connection from way over here.. behind the screen...behind the veil of maya/ delusion. Someone who feels me..intuits me.. who knows what I'm thinking..going to say..without speaking.. a solid higher soul connection.. who I dream about when I see their pic...that's all. Bottom line is everyone needs to be truly loved.

Hey Pop, I like it someone who agrees with me on everybody needs love. Cool. :) hey did you ever get that popcorn out of the sofa? Sorry couldn't help myself.

[Mr Nice Guy]

Ok, Elusive here and I'm adding two things to my list.
Must like to be f$&ked and gives a good bj.
Sorry if that was crude. But I forgot to put that on the list. :)

[Mister Bent]

But, but beautiful is just part of it.. (and I agree she is)..what if she ummm does not love dogs or something? Beautiful can only go so far... What if she has a tendency to be late or tap her toe... That's it?


:|


disclaimer: Hypothetically using Dixie here, I am sure she loves dogs.


So. I've been watching this thread from the beginning and it immediately seemed problematic to me. Lists are limiting. They constrain by what is contained from beginning to end. I think preferences are normal, but I agree with sassy, there are a lot of niggling, insignificant details contained in some. (And yes, I did just publicly agree with sassy, so?)

What if the love of your life is a victim of childhood sexual trauma at the hands of her older brother, and isn't comfortable giving blow jobs? Sorry, babe, I ain't gonna love ya.

I see so many here holding up these ideals, these "perfect" visions of what they desire, and yet, single. I wonder if any of you ever look deep inside yourselves and wonder, who's list am I making?

Finding love is about one thing, really.

Be open.

Ok, two - do your "work." No one else is going to make a silk's purse out of the sow's ear of your life.

[Mr Nice Guy]

Mr B, I respect your opinion but this is all in fun. I don't think anyone wants Mr or Mrs. Perfect. I think everyone wants love. I mean don't you? Lists are good for lots of things and sometimes not perfect. I mean I've made grocery lists and forgot stuff. I don't nor have I ever expectedvanyone to live up to my expectations I always bend and always will. So what if you don't give me a blowjob or like dogs. I mean come on. All we really want is to have someone whos honest and respects us. All the rest is a benefit. Oh and I was molested. It lasted ten years of my childhood but it doesn't effect who I am today in fact it made me a more giving person and I survived. Im not a kid and that was my past and I don't live in the past. So do me a favor. If you don't like something don't do it. If you read something and don't like what you read then stop reading but don't ruin it for people who do. Its not fair and not right. I do respect your opinion but that's all it is is an opinion. Thank you!
**** this is just my opinion***

[The_Lady_Snow]

Blow Jobs do not equate love!

(that should be a bumper sticker:)!)

[Mr Nice Guy]

Hey Lady Snow, no it doesn't. Sorry everyone, I was mad. Hey Lady, I've met you in person a long time ago at the Club Cafe in Boston. Does Handsome ring a bell? Krystle was there and a few others. Hope everyone is having a great day. I'm off to go eat. I'll be around later. Again sorry for the outburst.

[girl_dee]

Question? If the blow job and fucking requirement takes place on the first date, does she still fit into the *must respect /self respect* aspect as well? What if she is just not that good at it (gag reflex for example)?

[girl_dee]

but I agree with sassy, there are a lot of niggling, insignificant details contained in some. [COLOR="White"](And yes, I did just publicly agree with sassy, so?)



AHA!!! I knew one day you would! Now about that shaving thing.......

[girl_dee]

Hey Lady Snow, no it doesn't. Sorry everyone, I was mad. Hey Lady, I've met you in person a long time ago at the Club Cafe in Boston. Does Handsome ring a bell? Krystle was there and a few others. Hope everyone is having a great day. I'm off to go eat. I'll be around later. Again sorry for the outburst.

Oops, I read this after my very altered outburst. (Lacked that damn finesse again).... Still felt icky but ok. Enjoy your dinner.

[The_Lady_Snow]

Hey Lady Snow, no it doesn't. Sorry everyone, I was mad. Hey Lady, I've met you in person a long time ago at the Club Cafe in Boston. Does Handsome ring a bell? Krystle was there and a few others. Hope everyone is having a great day. I'm off to go eat. I'll be around later. Again sorry for the outburst.



I love Ms Krystle!!! I miss Lars:(

I love Boston!!

I apologize I don't remember a handsome may I have another clue?

[Mr Nice Guy]

Hey Lady, you can look at my pic or at the time I was with Zebra. That help? I saw Lars on other site recently.

[The_Lady_Snow]

Lemme go see!

[Apocalipstic]

A love list...

They must like to get fucked and give a good blow job. I agree 100%. (and yes, I date Butches)

I love cats and dogs, gave away 2 cats for an allergic Butch years ago, worst mistake I ever made. So no cat/dog allergies.

Must be kind.

Must be sweet.

Must be open minded.

According to "Bones" (the TV show) prospects must be between 31 and 81? Apparently its ok for them to be half my age plus 7, and I guess that works both ways?

I used to think just Integrity, but Integrity and Love are not always enough. Sometimes our life deals us personalities that just do not mesh, no matter how much integrity both parties have...how much love is there.

More later. lol.

[Nina]

I wonder if, when we are typing something into a public forum and we see ourselves typing: 'sorry, don't mean to be crude' that it might be a hint to give ourselves a moment to re-read and re-think before we hit send...

we all have differing sensibilities...this is true...I would suggest that there is a base line which we, or at least many of us, are aware of, and which when we make the conscious choice to cross, says much more about us than it does about those of us who might have a reaction...

add to that when we make it blatantly clear that we'd like to share ourselves with a special specialperson, our words become all the more important...I, for one, am much more interested in someone who saves the specifics of intimate desires for an appropriate private time and place...I would not feel safe or respected going into something having heard and read , more than once, the intimate acts which are a prerequisite for a relationship...

I say this with the full admission that I may well have a narrow, or limited view of things....I say this knowing that a certain level of decorum is both important to me and can be a form of foreplay...still. and. all.

if someone 'doesn't want to be crude' , I would suggest being more judicious in ones words, and being aware that, having made clear in the most specific of terms what one wants, it's hardly effective to repeat it...

[Apocalipstic]

I would way rather know up front what someone likes sexually so I dont waste precious time and money on someone I am not compatable with.

As women we are brought up to be appologetic. I would not have appologized for being crude, I like crude.

In fact I would never date anyone not crude.

Bottom line, we all have different needs and we should be open to the fast that other people have different needs than we have.

There may be a reason someone needs a punctual partner for example. Or maybe being more chaste about wording.

We can all be different and think what we think.

[Mr Nice Guy]

Nina, thank you for your opinion. :)

[Mister Bent]

Mr B, I respect your opinion but this is all in fun. I don't think anyone wants Mr or Mrs. Perfect. I think everyone wants love. I mean don't you? Lists are good for lots of things and sometimes not perfect. I mean I've made grocery lists and forgot stuff. I don't nor have I ever expectedvanyone to live up to my expectations I always bend and always will. So what if you don't give me a blowjob or like dogs. I mean come on. All we really want is to have someone whos honest and respects us. All the rest is a benefit. Oh and I was molested. It lasted ten years of my childhood but it doesn't effect who I am today in fact it made me a more giving person and I survived. Im not a kid and that was my past and I don't live in the past. So do me a favor. If you don't like something don't do it. If you read something and don't like what you read then stop reading but don't ruin it for people who do. Its not fair and not right. I do respect your opinion but that's all it is is an opinion. Thank you!
**** this is just my opinion***


So you tell me you respect my opinion and then effectively dismiss the legitimacy of my position to state it. I could illustrate numerous posts that I could say "ruin" a lot of threads for me, but I won't. I either ignore them or respond to them. But I wouldn't presume to tell someone they shouldn't state their opinion. Or, judging from your most recent post, maybe only femme opinions count.

If you're saying these lists are frivolous exercises then your analogy to grocery lists hardly supports your argument, as those are items we actually intend to procure. I also applaud you for your healing around childhood molestation, but that is not the case for everyone and it feels as if you diminish that reality in your comments.

I'm sorry my post made you "mad," but since we're making lists, primary on mine is "no outbursters."

[Mr Nice Guy]

Sorry if I didn't validate your opinion. I am now and I will say sorry. Have a great day everyone and I wish you all luck in finding love. I'm off to browse forums.

[Mister Bent]

Blow Jobs do not equate love!

(that should be a bumper sticker:)!)

Only if it says in small print at the bottom:

"...but they will make me forget how lonely I am."

[The_Lady_Snow]

Dirty!!!!!

[*Anya*]

1 Interesting conversationalist
1. Interesting conversationalist
2. Well-read
3. Sense of humor, easy to laugh
4. Insight into self
5. Ability to be vulnerable when we are alone
6. Comfortable with both sexuality & sex
7. Healthy libido
8. Belief in the concept of monogamy in a committed relationship
9. Ethical values
10. Social & feminist consciousness
11. Kind, thoughtful, loving
12. Accepts me for who I am, in all my imperfect glory & I in return-do the same
13. Even if hurt previously, healed from it, learned from it, ready & able to move on with hope & excitement for the future

[clay]

I have 1, as well:

Integrity

When a person has integrity all the traits of honesty, loyalty, honor, etc don't need to be stated, ya know? For me, they are all interrelated, and you cannot have one without the others. So it is just one. Well, maybe brown eyes too, but that is flexible.

1 Interesting conversationalist
1. Interesting conversationalist
2. Well-read
3. Sense of humor, easy to laugh
4. Insight into self
5. Ability to be vulnerable when we are alone
6. Comfortable with both sexuality & sex
7. Healthy libido
8. Belief in the concept of monogamy in a committed relationship
9. Ethical values
10. Social & feminist consciousness
11. Kind, thoughtful, loving
12. Accepts me for who I am, in all my imperfect glory & I in return-do the same
13. Even if hurt previously, healed from it, learned from it, ready & able to move on with hope & excitement for the future
Hi there Anya: Very well worded!!! THank you!!! Goo dluck..and pleased to meet you! Clay

[Queerasfck]

I'm not single. But when I was I didn't really have a list. But when I saw her I knew I had to make her mine. Too bad she didn't want me. She threw me back. Alright, there may have been some things I had to take care of....

Once I heard "all relationships fail until you find one that doesn't". It might sound like an odd way to put it but it's totally true. You have to put yourself out there, you know in whatever way works for you and as mentioned in a previous post, be true to who you are. That way when you meet someone you are really interested in you are showing all sides of yourself to them and hopefully they are doing the same.

After several attempts to get Ms Pretty's attention-that she claims bordered on stalking--what's wrong with just "stopping by"???? (OK, it was a five and a half hour drive). I had almost given up. There was no list. I just knew I had to see her again. Sometimes you just know, you know?

Eternally grateful she didn't call the cops.

[apretty]

Let's just say *someone* sang my dog to sleep--This song:

4tHXAEqiLVQ

And accepted all of me and is encouraging, loving and honest and had already had his therapy--plus, he's got a great pompadour! <3


After several attempts to get Ms Pretty's attention-that she claims bordered on stalking--what's wrong with just "stopping by"???? (OK, it was a five and a half hour drive). I had almost given up. There was no list. I just knew I had to see her again. Sometimes you just know, you know?

Eternally grateful she didn't call the cops.

[Apocalipstic]

Pretty! That sneaky Ezee singing to your dog! :) that made me smile!!

I have had lists in the past and found special someones with everything on the list. Am I still with them? No. However, I don't have any exes (of over a month lol) I am not friends with since college.

None of my exes has ever done anything so horrible to me I can't be their friends, and I think that is important...and making a list made that possible...I knew what traits were important to me in someone close.

Maybe some of us are list makers and some not?

I make lists, spreadsheets or itineraries for everything and sometimes even notebooks with tabs, so it is a given that in search for a victim...oooopssss...I mean GF, I would make lists...and the same goes for listmakers everywhere. lol.

[Mr Nice Guy]

Ok people who like lists, keep them coming. ;)

[ScandalAndy]

Honest
Romantic
Will always ask me to dance even though I"m not good at it
Cuddler
Secure in themselves
employed
has own transportation
Comes up with something other than "i don't know, what do YOU want to do"
music lover
thinks my terrible jokes are funny
Calm


That should pretty much do it. Here's hoping it isn't too long/strict a list!

[Mr Nice Guy]

Great lists!!!!

[Apocalipstic]

makes lists...lol

[Mr Nice Guy]

Bumping for all those looking for love and for those who love lists. :)

[DapperButch]

I have had lists in the past and found special someones with everything on the list. Am I still with them? No. However, I don't have any exes (of over a month lol) I am not friends with since college.




Good point.

I have been with more than one woman who matched my "list", but am no longer with them. The "list" may equal a good fit for you, but that doesn't mean that the chemistry follows.

Also, sometimes when you find love, the damn "list" goes out the window! One can find that something they didn't know they needed they do need, or what they thought they didn't want, they do want (like kids, for example). I think it is important to not be too strict when it comes to a "list", or you may miss out on something great!

[clay]

Good point.

I have been with more than one woman who matched my "list", but am no longer with them. The "list" may equal a good fit for you, but that doesn't mean that the chemistry follows.

Also, sometimes when you find love, the damn "list" goes out the window! One can find that something they didn't know they needed they do need, or what they thought they didn't want, they do want (like kids, for example). I think it is important to not be too strict when it comes to a "list", or you may miss out on something great!
Excellent thoughts and points Dapper!

[Mr Nice Guy]

Bumping for the newbies. :)

[The_Lady_Snow]

My list is carved onto his back:)

[Apocalipstic]

Lists...have been thinking of making a new one...but I really don't know what would even be on there any more.

Now that I have learned Integrity is not enough, what the hell would I put on a list?

[bigbutchmistie]

I'm gonna add to mine :)

She must love to cook cause I lobe to eat I wanna cook with her though sometimes lol

[Mr Nice Guy]

Hey Love listers. hope you all have a wonderful fourth. Keep the hope alive. :)

[Janny]

A very simple list:

1. Must...absolutely MUST get my sense of humour
2. Must not sneak raisins into my cinnamon buns.
3. Must have a penchant for pushing me up against the wall.

Really...not too much to ask for. ;)

[greeneyedgrrl]

I have 1, as well:

Integrity

When a person has integrity all the traits of honesty, loyalty, honor, etc don't need to be stated, ya know? For me, they are all interrelated, and you cannot have one without the others. So it is just one. Well, maybe brown eyes too, but that is flexible.

agreed...cept for the eye color... i'm not picky bout that, more about how they look at me with those eyes than the color of em. ;) but i agree that integrity just about covers it. i don't think that my "ideal" partner has to agree with me all the time (in fact, how boring would that be??) or share the same beliefs (again...where's the fun in that?). i think it's more about being able to be true to themselves while allowing me to do the same. oh... and they must love kid... not all of em...just mine! :sunglass:

[bigbutchmistie]

My List

Honest

Loyal

Trustworthy I can trust her with my life. This is VERY important

Extremely girly but aggressive

Is over 30.

Believes In God

Doesn't have children to raise

Romantic. Someone who doesn't expect me to just be romantic with her. Someone who loves treating her butch like a king as she will be treated as my queen.

Employed. Self sufficient

Non Smoker

No drugs social drinker is fine no drunks

Doesn't have cats. I'm highly allergic

Can handle me with ease

Has Common Sense

Tender

Patient

Affectionate

Nurturing

Understanding

Inuitive of my needs

Emotionally Supportive

Knows how to be on time

Someone who is highly sexual and isn't a pillow princess

Someone who puts relationships a priority and not an option

Someone is who is spontaneous. Who can and will drop everything at a moments notice to go a way together.

Someone who loves being femme but can be relaxed in just shorts and a t shirt.

Isn't materialistic. Enjoys the little things.

Has and uses manners

Protective of me as I am of her.


I added likes to cook :)

But oh loves to kiss.

Loves things girlie Bubble baths mani/pedi. Perfume lotion

Must be ok with the fact I have no family.

[justkim]

List's are for grocery shopping...

We are always changing and growing...

Why limit yourself?

Happy List making...

[T4Texas]

There are lots of things I could put on a list I suppose, but I sat and thought about this a lot and decided to condense it to the things I felt were really the most important to me.

1. Must be able to have intelligent conversation.

2. Must be willing to communicate

3. Must have a kind heart

4. Must love me for who I am, try to understand the flaws and embrace the positives, and I will do the same for you.

5. Must be more than just vanilla

[Mr Nice Guy]

Great lit T4T. Good luck in finding love. :)

[LaneyDoll]

There are lots of things I could put on a list I suppose, but I sat and thought about this a lot and decided to condense it to the things I felt were really the most important to me.

1. Must be able to have intelligent conversation.

2. Must be willing to communicate

3. Must have a kind heart

4. Must love me for who I am, try to understand the flaws and embrace the positives, and I will do the same for you.

5. Must be more than just vanilla


Well said! I could add these to my list-well, the ones that are not already there.

:sparklyheart:

[msW8ing]

Of course the obvious attributes..confident, sense of humor, honest, faithful, loving, affectionate, animal lover and the like. For me it's the one that can look at the wrinkles (worry lines) on my face and see that they were earned from years of worrying about loved ones being a nurturer it happens..see the stretch marks from carrying two lives inside of me and know that I brought two beautiful, amazing children into this world and not be jealous of my love for them or my two amazing grandaughters..respect one anothers morals, values, ethics and beliefs. Gets that entering my kitchen would be like me entering thier garage..only touch what you have to and put everything back as I had it..I wont put your hammer in the screw driver drawer if you don't put my spatula in with the scrapers..laughing together..willing to grow and change as all people do with me, together. Not having to be attached at the hip 24/7. Not belittling one another in front of others..call me out when I'm wrong but do so in private I will love and respect you for that and do the same for you. Know that when I prepare your meals it's with love, I do it because it's WHO I am not what I think is required. Doesn't think I'm wierd because I full face sniff your shirts sometimes before I put them in the washer. Wrap me in your arms when you feel me shaking because it's a bad storm outside. When the world has kicked your ass and your frusterated..let me make it go away. You don't always have to be big and brave. Know that no matter our differences I will always have your back. Days I feel ugly, make me feel beautiful and I will do the same for you. Talk WITH me..not AT or TO me. Gets that for me it's old fashioned in the home. I may be a leader, self confident, strong, decisive, and bold in the work place..but at home I am the nurturer, lover, wife, romantic and caretaker. Look into my eyes and see the love and admiration I have for you. I am me, I'm not your ex/exes do not confuse or compare us. I live by the saying."Lady in the streets, whore in the sheets". And speaking of streets..doesn't ogle other women in front of me, or acknowledge when being flirted with by others. Dang no wonder I'm single I didn't realize until I typed it out just how finicky I am.:glasses::blink:

[Morgan]

There are a number of things I am looking for in a relationship, but will list only the most important items, anything else is nice, but not a must.

1. Kind (must have a big heart)
2. Faithful (you only get one chance)
3. Honest (don’t lie, big deal breaker)
4. Femme (oh yes, very, very important)
5. Intelligent (need to be able to carry on good conversations)
6. Sense of Humor (make me laugh)
7. Deep (not afraid of showing or expressing feelings and emotions)
8. Willing to work through the rough times (I don’t want someone who
gives up on a whim)
9. Sexually uninhibited, kinky, willing to experiment (no vanilla sex)
10. Cuddling, touching, nurturing and loving behavior (both receiving and
giving)
11. No bitching or nagging (no ands, ifs, or buts on this topic)
12. Independent, has a life outside the relationship (go hang out-you need
friends and activities on your own)
13. Stable/Self-sufficient (employed or looking)
14. Playful (I enjoy the serious side, but playing must come natural)
15. Clean and neat (includes self and home)
16. Somewhat Organized (I am weak in this area, need all the help I can
get)
17. Kind to children and pets (show me)
18. Emotionally strong (lean on me, but do not suffocate me)
19. Not afraid to give up control (give me the control)
20. Open and able to express what is going on (I cannot read minds)
21. Spunky and fiery behavior (if you don’t like something, tell me, I can
agree to disagree)
22. Respectful (no snide comments or innuendos)
23. Enjoys being pampered and spoiled (willing to reciprocate)
24. Likes going to movies, dinners out, relaxing at home, family
outings, vacations, traveling and trying new things (very important)
25. Must be somewhat active (cannot tolerate laziness)
26. No heavy drinking (absolutely)
27. Treat me as if I am the most important person in your life as I will
you (aside from children)
28. Wants to look good (does not spend an excessive amount of time in
front of a mirror on a daily basis, in order to do this)
29. Spontaneous (most times willing to do things on the spur of the
moment)
30. No drama (leave the drama at the door)

[MissItalianDiva]

I will only speak for myself here and not for anyone else because what didnt work for me might work for someone else just fine. I have always been very girly and growing up I was your typical girl who fantasized about the perfect Prince Charming to come along and whisk me off my feet. I made "lists" very young and even into my adulthood except around 20 I really did make a true physical list on paper.

My list was long and tedious. It was everything I was looking for or not looking for. I knew these were needs of mine because I had been on numerous dates or experienced numerous things along the way that encompassed my vision of a perfect mate. I am the type of person who sometimes has a tendency to be very black and white in the way I view people and the world. So once my list had been made I became even more rigid than previously.

I dated numerous people who had all the attributes of my list but for some reason it still was not a match or in dating them I found some other little thing to add to my ever growing list of requirement and in turn I would cease the relationship due to them not fitting my "standards"

I did this for years and only recently have realized I am an idiot and have been for some time. Love is not about lists or requirements. Sure we all have preference but the thing about life I have learned to love the most is that just when we think we have things figured out or just when we decide what we absolutely don't want the Universe steps in and shows us something different.

Love is kind and gentle. Not filled with unrealistic expectations of ourselves or others. Sometimes our preferences and requirements are not in our own best interest. I know for me I am my own worst enemy at true happiness sometimes because I think I know myself so well.

It's a work in progress but I am learning to relax and just let life happen. Without the rigid lists or without unrealistic expectations of others. My list got burnt in a bon fire about 2 months ago and I can honestly say my view of potential dating partners and life in general is much more enjoyable.

[girl_dee]

I have developed a *what does not work for me* list rather than a *I want this in a person* list.

Hard limits can't be ignored no matter how much someone makes you the center of their world, as indicated in some of the lists.

[Morgan]

My list may look unrealistic, I do not expect someone to sweep me off my feet and have everything I require on my list. I beleive it would be quite rare to find someone with all the qualities I am looking for. Some of the items on my list are deal breakers and some are not. If I did meet a very special woman, I would attempt to find out as much as I could before I jump into a relationship. I too have failed at relationships and when I look back, I wish I would have taken heed of the red flags that I had failed to see or refused to see. I believe with a list, I can now look at the things I want in a relationship and see if they may have the qualities I desire and/or need.

[Sassy]

I like this list idea. I'm currently in a relationship and there are a few things that haven't felt like a great fit. Making the list helped me see exactly what those things are. But also, let me see/revisit the multitude of awesomeness that my SO does bring into the relationship. So, a good idea, even if you are involved. :)

--------------------------
The Love List

1. Earth-based spirituality
2. Open-minded sexuality (kink, poly)
3. Has goals and a career
4. Has time for love and family
5. Respects outside relationships (family, friends, coworkers)
6. Likes to spend time together
7. Understands time apart (with friends or alone) is necessary for my sanity
8. Prejudices unwelcome: No racists. No sexists.
9. Must like kids. (Doesn’t have to want children. But my nephews are important.)
10. Financially responsible
11. Generous with their time and resources, but not to a fault
12. Knows how to communicate and does so willingly
13. Enjoys occasional forays into nature
14. Non-judgemental towards those who indulge in libations, recreation
15. Must love coffee
16. Enjoys experimenting with food, new recipes
17. Strives to live healthy, but doesn’t obsess
18. Stays current on politics, news, issues
19. High sex drive
20. Allows me creative freedom in my home, decorating, cooking, hobbies
21. Willing to be supportive when life challenges arise
22. Allows me to fight my own battles, doesn’t speak for me when I can speak for myself
23. Makes me laugh
24. Enjoys and respects a wide variety of music
25. Loves sci-fi and fantasy books and movies
26. Plays video games, but not compulsively (No WOW or Evercrack)
27. Has a deep love for animals but won't bring home every stray
28. Doesn't complain or make fun of my driving
29. Knows how to ride a bike, canoe and kayak
30. Will kiss me, and mean it, every day

[Vlasta]

I see that there any not many demands from a partner just 30 ? * laughing*

I guess I will die alone and just in case I will choose to date again .

honesty
communication
brain
job
chemistry

after that everything can be worked out :)

[LaneyDoll]

The Love List.

Hi all, my name is Elusive and I saw this on Oprah. Its about these three women who are unlucky in love. So what they did was create a love list. Whats a love list you ask? Its a list of qualities you want in a partner. You see these three women didnt know about each other but they all had the same problem as some of us have here.Finding that true love.I know we are all looking but sometimes we let our negative thoughts get in the way of finding that one that makes your heart melt. Thats called bad karma. What these ladies did was to right down the traits they wanted and then they put the list somewhere. Two of these ladies met their partners and got married and after that they were going through their stuff. they came upon the list only to find out that what they listed was found in the person they met. I know that when I looked for someone I made all the wrong choices so I decided to try it and see if it works.<<disallowed word>>
<<disallowed word>>It all comes down to being honest with youself and writing it down not only reminds us but gives us good karma.Also it doesnt hurt. Ill share mine with you and who knows we might all make a match.

Dont be afraid to be honest. cause not being honest will get you what you had before. So Im trying it and i hope it works. Oh heck it will work if your positive!!!

I think that when we are honest with ourselves about what we want & what we do not want, we are more likely to be picky. After all, these are our thoughts about what we want.

I made my list in the when this thread was started. And I kept dating. One of the girls had horrible table manners and did not practice the level of personal hygiene that I do. Then, there was the matter of kids. I spend a lot of time with my kids during the week, like any single mom. My weekends are 100% free. But she still came over for dinner one night then complained about how much homework my 13 year old had that he needed help with.

Do I need a list to tell me that this is match will not work? No.

But, if I had stuck to the list in the beginning, I would not have invested time in something that was not going to work out. Trust me on this-she immediately did not meet several of the items.

Currently, I am with someone who meets 29 of the 30 items on my list. Additionally, they go beyond the list in ways that really make me happy.

Do I think that the list is the end all be all? No.

But, knowing what you want makes it easier to weed out what you don't.

:sparklyheart:

[HoustonHuny]

I see that there any not many demands from a partner just 30 ? * laughing*

I guess I will die alone and just in case I will choose to date again .

honesty
communication
brain
job
chemistry

after that everything can be worked out :)

Great List, Vlasta. I would add one more thing. Humor :clap:

[sara-bera]

Over two years ago, I read this book called Meeting Your Half-Orange. I was so happy to find a book on dating that was positive and upbeat. It has really, really helped me learn about myself and helped me figure out what it is I really want the next time I commit to a relationship.

I have complete faith that I am will meet The One and I know they're looking for me, as well.

I want a relationship...

… filled with passion; for each other and for life. I want someone who enjoys life and living it.
… filled with joy.
… that is healthy in mind, spirit, and body. I want someone comfortable, happy, and secure with themselves and I want us both to be gentle motivators to stay that way, always.
… in which I feel truly known and loved for exactly who I am and I want to be able to give love like that as well.
… that has comfortable, easy communication. I want to listen, speak, and be honestly heard and understood. There will be transparency (honesty) from both people.
… in which we can share many meals together because our eating habits are similar.
… in which I feel wanted and can make them feel wanted.
... in which we only have birds, fish, lizards or other small, hypoallergenic pets (as I have painful allergies).
… in which there is a balance of our opposites: their masculinity to my girlishness, their strength and force to my softness, their decisions where I cannot make up my mind, their initiative to my shyness, their maturity where I am happily a little bit childish, their dominant nature to my submissive one.
… in which I feel perfectly safe.
... in which the relationship itself is important and protected.
… that sometimes has lovely, warm, comfortable silences.
… filled with intimacy of all kinds: physical, emotional, passionate!
… filled with respect; for each other and for other people. I want to be with someone that loves people as much as I do so that we can be happily and comfortably social together.
… in which even the off parts of me are loved… and loved a lot. We should both be abother to love one another, 'warts and all.'
… that is peaceful.
… that finds us living in a comfortable space with very little clutter.
… in which any big, loud, passionate interaction between us involves laughter or sex.
… that allows us to sleep snuggled together, often.
… in which we are important to one another. I want to matter as much to the other person as they do to me. I want to feel loved and special.
… with someone who likes being needed.
… in which there is consistency and stability; emotionally and financially.
... In which there is just the two of us.

I wish you all love, happiness, and healthy relationships!

[WomenMoveMe]

A woman that embodies the very essence of what a woman should be. A woman that wants and needs to be adored...cared for...and protected. A woman who shall come first...and in return...will protect my vulnerabilities and bestow unto me the respect and adoration bestowed unto her.

She shall be a lady...feminine...with all that entails.
Passionate...genuine...warm... kind...adventurous...and creative. She shall be honest and spontaneous. She shall possess humor...wit...and compassion. She shall give...she shall take. She shall perpetrate grace under pressure and the ability to adapt to the ever changing perplexities of life. She shall have a mind of her own with opinions she is unafraid to share. She shall come to me with wants...needs...and desires...knowing they will be fulfilled. She knows her worth and will not settle for less.

[tazz]

a Butch that is strong enough, is able to Love enough, give enough, is able to accept another enough, forgiving enough, is able to communicate, have a sense of self awareness, trust, respect, who takes good care of themselves, and supportive of my ventures, just as much as i'm supportive of hers/hym.

[Leigh]

I've come to realize that I am not going to put some drawn out list in the thread because for Me, personally, what truly matters to Me is that I find someone who will love Me for Me and I will love them for who they are ~ no relationship will be perfect and we will both have flaws but as long as we love each other then that to Me is all that matters :)

[Vlasta]

Great List, Vlasta. I would add one more thing. Humor :clap:

oh , you are right ! I forgot , I was listening about Demi Moore and A. Kutcher are getting divorce and nobody should be surprised . hmm , at least it lasted more than 72 days :l ... well , kutcher got sheen's job and started acting like him ;)

[Leigh]

It still boggles My mind at how these celebrities can marry faster than I change My underwear and yet we can't marry ~ WTF is that kind of crap?

:|

[chai~]

-someone who won't let me get away with shit!

ahhhh, this goes on my list too.....I want someone to challenge me when I need to be challenged.

[chai~]

I'm not perfect nor do I care to be. I just try to be a little bit better than yesterday.

I think I will echo what you are all saying, now let me see if I can add any!


Physical atributes:
I am about 5'1". I like to feel delicate and lady like.
I am most attracted to confident, assertive masculinity.
claybaby said, "5'0" to 5'6"....I like to kiss "down" into her, not "up".
I like to kiss "up" so taller please! I like to look up and stand on tippy toes!

Enjoys the simple things in life. I have 2 families of raccoons that visit me nightly. One mama with one baby, and another mama with 3 babies. I put leftover food on the deck for them and LOVE watching them dig into the bowls. It's magical and makes me happy! Would you enjoy watching that?

A biggie for me, is someone MUST has a life outside of the relationship. Go, please, see your friends, have fun. I need my own time and space. I will not smother you, nor will I be smothered. I would like us to blend, but not become "one person". Be independent, financially, emotionally, spiritually. When you are happy and balanced and a complete person, I would want to be near that energy.

If I disagree with you, then let's sit down and talk about it, I want to know where you are coming from, I want to understand. I want to challenge you, and I NEED you to challenge me.

Constant tardiness is disrespectful and immature. IMO. I am rarely ever late. I always give myself a lot of time to get to where I need to be. I understand if there was a train blocking the road, car broke down or the need to stop for fresh flowers to bring! I get that. I don't do "fashionably late". Am I a control freak? Perhaps, but I am a timely one!!!

Social drinker, no problem. I do draw the line at cigarettes and drugs. Deal breakers.

Experienced...in life, in love, in relationships, in sex.


I am kind, so I surround myself with kind people.
I am thoughtful and appreciative.
I do say please and thank you a lot, I've been told it gets annoying.

I want the initial spark of electricity, that takes my breath away and make me go dizzy! A friend first and foremost, a good person who inspires me to be a better person.

[Sachita]

Ok, this should be interesting. I'm going to work really hard on this.

1- Completely honest

2- Secure with themselves and financially (dont have to be rich, just able to fend for themselves)

3- health conscious (prefers organic, buys responsibly)

4- wants to live rural on a farm and a strong desire to become sustainable

5- adoring- submissive to me. Enjoys the type of dynamic that inspires a true female led relationship. They are strong, secure, able and highly intelligent- the simply allow me to be in charge because it "feels" right to them.

6- environmentally conscious - cares about the planet

7- open-minded - non-judgmental

8- adventurous and spontaneous - responsible most of the time yet can enjoy child like play.

9- deeply enjoys gardening and growing food

10- Loves animals-especially dogs!

11- enjoys deep family connections, including our own

12- Likes to clean and do laundry :) I hate it! I cook!

13- allows me to touch them and submits to my sometimes aggressive and wild nature.

14- Isn't needy and doesnt get insecure at the amount of personal space I require. they too enjoy time a lone and able to enjoy their own space.

15- - for the past 10 years I've dated butch. I'm more open now and into the human. I prefer masculine appearance but have met some submissive femmes that bring out my own masculine energy. I have a lot of it and whoever I am with appreciates this about me. They can be masculine, butch, etc. just remember who is in charge! (wink)

16- enjoys the outdoors- camping, fishing, just being outside.

17- loves making our nice and a special place- nice flowers, organized, inviting for friends and family.

18- not afraid of hard work or getting dirty.

19- intelligent, able to hold conversation but isn't yapping in my ear all the time or hurting my brain with constant chatter.

20- enjoys good food and wine in moderation (I cook- I buy)

21- does not use drugs of any kind

22- who's idea of a perfect evening is sitting outside (or inside) by a toasty fire, having a glass of wine, maybe playing a game, eating, talking and just being in the moment.


at this point in my life I avoid any red flags whereas in the past I overlooked things. I only become committed once I know we are both invested in the long haul. I am slow moving, watching, studying and carefully making decisions.

[Passionaria]

*chemistry and connection*
tenderness and fineness
loving and expresses it freely
emotionally honest but kind
when they kiss me or touch me, I melt and get weak in the knees
Passionate ~ a believer in senseless acts of passion in the name of love or lust
sexy (yes it's high on the list)
must be sex positive / tender and expressive but very naughty, edgy
expressive with well developed communication skills
Loves them self and their body
Has a Spiritual base ~ respectful
creative ~ intelligent
generous of spirit
*must have a sense of style and know how to dress*
high emotional quotient (EQ)
and lots of points if they can dance well enough to make my jaw drop

These are the qualities I can't live without......

[chai~]

*chemistry and connection*
when they kiss me or touch me, I melt and get weak in the knees
lusty
sexy (yes it's high on the list)
must be sex positive / tender and expressive but very naughty, edgy
expressive with well developed communication skills
Loves them self and their body
Has a Spiritual base ~ respectful
creative ~ intelligent
generous of spirit
*must have a sense of style and know how to dress*
high emotional quotient (EQ)
and lots of points if they can dance well enough to make my jaw drop

These are the qualities I can't live without......


I like this....!
I would like, "lots of points if they can dance well enough to make me want to take my clothes off with them!!!" Just sayin!!!

[Mr Nice Guy]

Ok I'm bumping this for all those looking for love. Now I need to go back and read what I missed. :)

[Mr Nice Guy]

Ok I'll bump this thread. If you want me to. ;)

[thedivahrrrself]

Not looking for a relationship, but I'm glad you bumped this thread.

Maybe a list will help me over the next few months.
YSK I reserve the right to amend this from time to time.

MUST-HAVES:

Compassion
Sincerity
Decisiveness
Honesty, even if it means sacrificing a little tact
Intelligence
Must be a geek/wonk about something, even if it's something I think is lame (like the reproduction habits of spiders, or how to build a transmission)
Healthy Sex Drive (sorry, but it's true)
Gentleness - must make me feel safe
Protectiveness - see above
Butchiness - that certain je ne se quois
Likes dogs
Treats people well, this includes the waitress and the bus driver


MUST-NOTS:
Excessive Insecurity
A need to control me (I rebel; I can't help it)
Meanness
Lying
Manipulative
Paranoia
Smokers (sorry, I just don't think I can live with that again)
Chronically unemployed
Laziness


JUST ICING (because who doesn't love cake?):

Driven, goal-oriented
Might want kids
Good conversationalist (this is a must in an LDR, but icing otherwise)
Good grammar :)
Semi-obsessive hand-washer (it's good to have things in common)
Values education and the pursuit of knowledge
Loves museums
Will go with me to the opera
Doesn't think my girl music is lame ♪♫♪

[thedivahrrrself]

Must be a geek/wonk about something, even if it's something I think is lame (like the reproduction habits of spiders, or how to build a transmission)


Apparently you only RE-build transmissions. (Doesn't someone build them somewhere? Or do they just appear built?)

I stand corrected.

And I know geeks who are geeky about their cars. I'm just sayin'

[Mr Nice Guy]

Great list!!!

[ValKyrie]

I made a list in therapy before I met the "right" someone and she had a list too. We both lived up to each others lists and I am still reeling in how well we fit.

Butch
Confident in herself
Take charge in the bedroom
Loves kids
Neat and tidy
Takes pride in her appearance
Good manners
Proper grammar
Likes food
Well read
Is stable financially, career wise, and emotionally
Has own interests
Has own friends
Wants to do things apart from me
Wants to do things with me
High sex drive
Appreciates my femmeness but is ok with me getting dirty, working on my car, etc
Likes to go out at times, but also likes the quiet intimate Times
Likes to cuddle
Is not intimidated by my self confidence and fierceness
Likes to watch me play roller derby but does not want to play herself
Appreciates my independence but allows me to be weak at times
Older then me
Family is important

[Mr Nice Guy]

This I got from an Oprah show and they say it works!! Sort of like a vision board. Which I need to make. :)

[thedivahrrrself]

This I got from an Oprah show and they say it works!! Sort of like a vision board. Which I need to make. :)

Now you have to tell us non-Oprah fans what a vision board is...

[Mr Nice Guy]

Ok I'll try to explain. But I'm not an Oprah fan. I was sick at home and bored and had her on. Anyway, this is what it is. Say you want something real bad and wishing it doesn't work. What you do is get some construction paper and some used magazines and cut out what you want like a picture of a house or anything. You paste it on paper and put it somewhere where you can see it. It's all about positive energy and putting what you want out in the world. They also talked about The Love List. You put down what your looking for in a partner and then put it away. Hopefully that explained it. :)

[bigbutchmistie]

Femme Girly Girl

Loves being a a femme, and though clothes do not make her femme does enjoy dressing up in heels, dresses skirts etc but is just as comfortable in t shirt and shorts.

BBW Preferably

Must Believei In God and go to church

Love all animals but doesnt have a cat as I am highly allergic

Has teenagers/or has kids already raised is fine with me. At this point in my life Im not looking to raise kids

Nurturing... Love taking care of her butch but not financially. Does things like cooks for me etc....Like I would do for her

Employed Full Time and can Financially can hold her own

Romantic and Believes In Happily Ever After no matter how many times she's been burned

Identifies as Lesbian

Affectionate, loving, tender, kind hearted

Has old fashioned values. Like believing sex is between two people who love each other and isnt into one night stands. Has a high sex drive with a partner

Is a Diva but loves the little things

Loves to laugh

Someone I can talk about anything and everything too

Gets along with my friends

Is ok with me not having family.

OH IS OVER HER EX AND READY TO FIND LOVE

[Mr Nice Guy]

Great list. Loved the last part.

[Mr Nice Guy]

Ok Peeps, I'm in a romantic mood and feel like matchmaking. So I'll do the bump for you. :)

[LoyalWolfsBlade]

Ok Peeps, I'm in a romantic mood and feel like matchmaking. So I'll do the bump for you. :)

Now how did I know I would find your name on this thread Mr. Nice Guy? lol By the way I love your status makes me smile every time I see it.

[Mr Nice Guy]

That post made me smile. I'm always on the threads that would help people find love. I'm a sucker for romance. :)

[~ocean]

Ok I'll try to explain. But I'm not an Oprah fan. I was sick at home and bored and had her on. Anyway, this is what it is. Say you want something real bad and wishing it doesn't work. What you do is get some construction paper and some used magazines and cut out what you want like a picture of a house or anything. You paste it on paper and put it somewhere where you can see it. It's all about positive energy and putting what you want out in the world. They also talked about The Love List. You put down what your looking for in a partner and then put it away. Hopefully that explained it. :)

so u cut out pictures of J Lo .. and ..... ~~~~