Taken Out Of Context...

[thedivahrrrself]

"look at hiswiddlepenis"

ROFL almost made me pee a little

[jac]

"You can pack it tighter than that but it's still gonna have that buldge!"
In referring to packaging a box for shipment... :blink:

[Hollylane]

I'm just trying to stick it everywhere....

[JAGG]

I read in the guiness book of world records ,she quit the cult and bought an igloo.

[JAGG]

Do you want it like that, or should I get it wet first?

[JustJo]

After a salad bar mishap at Ruby Tuesday's...

Me: (whispering) Honey, I pea'ed on myself!

Snack: :|

[scootebaby]

"thats you right there honey except hers is so loose it flaps in the wind"
:|
:rofl:

(she was talking about the headliner of a car that looked exactly like mine in front of us)

[ruffryder]

Me to J: How was work babe?

J: Longg and hard.

Me: :| what. . LOL

J: I felt sorry for A. she was going all night.

Me :blink: :rofl: Do you know what that sounds like? LOL

[ruffryder]

My babe: "I got bright lights"

Me: "yes you do!" *thinking of head lights* :tease:

[ruffryder]

Me: "The two princesses are taking awhile to get ready."

My babe: "Who me?" "I'm cleaning." "I'm swifting."

Me: "Come and swift me." "Give me a dusting." ;)

[Hollylane]

"I wasn't on long...I just looked at your pictures and got off..." :|

[Hollylane]

"It's not going to stay there long, I'll be whipping it out soon..."

[Hollylane]

Me to Gaige:

"Honey, you do just fine with your finger..." :|

[ruffryder]

while taking a walk the other day with my babe and pup at a lake park we hear and see women playing tennis.

woman 1: Are we gonna do teams?

woman 2: We are gonna do doubles.

[Zimmeh]

Ruff: "I'm going to give you a special package of chocolate" Ny face as I'm laughing at hym :| Our doggie hid her head!

[Hollylane]

Me: "I just bought shades of brown, are you ready to buy a new package?"

Gaige: "I just bought a new package!"

[Gaige]

Thanks for keeping my face moist baby.

[Rockinonahigh]

From one of my crazy straight friends.Are u ever going to get it done..I mean how many fingers dose it take? ...I was tuning up my violin then giveing it a sound check.

[Hollylane]

Hmmmm...What's a big one here?

[Hollylane]

They can just bleed on each other...

[Hollylane]

Gosh Baby, it's huge, you should be able to find it!

[Hollylane]

"I have to go down to the basement and find the severed arm..."

and a few minutes later...

"I found the severed arm!"

[lusciouskiwi]

"in the daylight without any rain it's much nicer

[Tcountry]

"When it's wet...go down...."

explaining how to make changes at work...

[Hollylane]

When I get down to end, where there's more people, I'm going to spin you around...

[lusciouskiwi]

"We've been together for a long time now, we can insult each other with style."

My two colleagues (lesbian couple) who are leaving the project early next Wednesday. :bigcry:

[Hollylane]

Gaige: "Are you in, and have you placed your balls?"

Hollylane: "I got one, but I don't have the balls for it."

Gaige: "You're not letting me concentrate on my balls."

Gaige: "Scratch 'em if you got 'em."

Hollylane: "I just keep staring at my balls"

[JustJo]

You can sniff her and lick her all you want, but if you grab her by the neck and drag her down the hall again, I swear I will beat your ass.

:blink:

[Hollylane]

Me: I'm going to soak up some soy curls...

Gaige (enthusiastically): Mmm...that sounds good!!!

[Tcountry]

lead op "hey Paco, is this 3 fingers or 4?"
Paco "I usually only use 2, thought u knew that..."

:blink:

[Hollylane]

Conversation between my supervisor and I tonight:

Hollylane (called out across the call center as I'm leaving for the weekend): Ben, what are you bringing to work for me on Monday?

Ben: The pot, I even sent myself a reminder email.

Hollylane: I really appreciate the lengths you're willing to go to keep your employees happy Ben, and since memory loss can be a problem, the reminder email was a smashing idea! :)

Ben: :| Did I just say that? :|

Hollylane: For those of you listening to the current conversation, Ben is referring to a pot to plant in.... A plant.... The team plant... Not that kind of plant. Some violets and other succulents. Jeez.

Ben (mumbling, chuckling, and shaking his head): Smart ass.

[Hollylane]

Take the buns, and get some rest!

[Gaige]

I’ll never forget the woman who gives me wood.

[Hollylane]

I’ll never forget the woman who gives me wood.

To which I replied: "Oh my gawd, you made me choke!"

[GraffitiBoi]

"Do you want me to get you off?"

My (at that time) girlfriend to my best friend who was on a phone call she couldn't end.

[Hollylane]

Gaige: "You gave me sugar and you gave me wood!"

[chefhmboyrd]

"you want me to put that Where???"

[Hollylane]

"Oh man! I've got to have five feasts, I've got you already coming...."

[Hollylane]

"That has got to be the strangest thing you do, washing your nuts"

[Gaige]

"That has got to be the strangest thing you do, washing your nuts"

Hey, you'd wash your nuts too if they were as salty as mine.

[Hollylane]

Hey, you'd wash your nuts too if they were as salty as mine.

Upon reading this post...the first thing out of my mouth...

"Uhhhhh, gag worthy!"

[Hollylane]

"Since this morning, I've been making babies..."

[Hollylane]

"They tried to get a guy off, but it was too late."

[Hollylane]

"I don't have anything to stir my cream with! I'm going to use my finger to stir it, if I don't find a stick. No! That's too big!"

[TheMerryFairy]

Housemate "Have you seen my other pair?"

Me : "I didn't know you had a first set!"

[Hollylane]

Don't eat anything down there!

[Hollylane]

"Step one, going down"

Admittedly, I stopped listening after step one was announced. :|

[Bèsame*]

You have to take all those panties off.

[Hollylane]

"I'll give that to you, just give me a second while he pulls it out...":|

[Gaige]

You know what I’m going to put in my hole?

[Hollylane]

Gaige:

"Mannnnn, people are stingy with their cherries!"

[Bèsame*]

Oooo, she is pissing me off, she needs to keep her hands of my panties.


Said me, the one who just fixed the panty table!

[Hollylane]

"I want to see the cream busting out...I touched this one, it's mine..."

[Hollylane]

The electrodes coming from my nose keep pulling and hurting me every time Gaige makes me laugh and so she offered this advice...

"Just hold your string in place, when you laugh, so it doesn't hurt you"

:|

[TheMerryFairy]

"My hole never gets stuffed with cream" Said the child complaining about his doughnut.

[tonaderspeisung]

he had me in a position i was aware of but not really familiar with so i was a little uncomfortable at first

[maryam]

I can't find the super cock, do we have any regular? - in reference to Sriracha Sauce, aka Cock because of the rooster on the label.

[Hollylane]

"Stop sucking on that thing, and answer me woman!"

[Hollylane]

I'm already looking at you, but I want to look at your stuff too...

[Hollylane]

Johnny told me to cut it, so I went ahead and released it...

[Hollylane]

If it is stiff, I know you'll rub it...

[midwest chick]

I just bought a t-shirt says 'I rode the big one'

statement from Hym...

'no, not tonight, I'm afraid you would fall off'

[Inked_Trinity]

I just bought a t-shirt says 'I rode the big one'

statement from Hym...

'no, not tonight, I'm afraid you would fall off'

OR...... the "girls" would fall out! :cracked:

[JAGG]

" How much longer is this going to go on for?"

[Hollylane]

"Free Range Mother's Day"

[JAGG]

"Dude I don't like it when she's mad at me, so I do everything she tells me too."

[Hollylane]

Gaige:

"When I go down, I lift..."

[Hollylane]

Chessie is too ball focused...

[Kenna]

Friend 1: my fingers just ain't made for this...

friend 2: OH REALLY?

friend 1: where's my little thang?

friend 2: ...about to die laughing

friend 1: I don't want anything you're on!

friend 2: it's called (to protect the not so innocent, insert name of friend 1 here)

friend 1: I definitely don't want any of that!


......the setting for this laughing fest...A hot kitchen! lmao!

[Metro]

While playing Cribbage:

"Well, for a hand that wasn't worth anything it sure made for good pegging."

:|


While playing Euchre:

"That's right -- your partner takes ALL your tricks!"

:| :| :|

[Hollylane]

Baby, I guess I did something out of habit, because I just felt something hard in my scrub pants...

:) :) :)

It was my cellphone...

:|

I just felt something stiff in my pants...

:) :) :)

and I realized I actually did remember to bring my cellphone...

:|

[PoeticSilence]

Taken Out Of Context:

Me:
Why don't I just whip out my little trouser trout and we'll see what I have?


(I was talking about a small yellow rubber fish that you squeezed the gills and it became a flashlight, a bright light would turn on in the mouth. It was in my pocket and the power had gone out at work and someone asked for a lighter and I thought I might have one in my backpack.)

[Hollylane]

Gaige, talking about her dog, Nugget. Apparently, if you let your poodles hair grow out, it can form dreadlocks.

"I'm going to have Nugget's with dreadlocks"

[JAGG]

" Holy shit balls, how would you like to have lay down beside that every night." Yowza