Devotion

[SoNotHer]

I have been contemplating the nature of love and devotion lately and wondering what that looks like for some people.

How are you devoted?

How are two devoted?

What is the full measure of devotion?

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_CXxIIzX3htM/SuZh7uUNPOI/AAAAAAAAAmQ/AIKaSp46eFE/s320/elderly+couple+holding+hands.jpg

[always2late]

I wrote this story in another thread..I think the thread was about what love looks like, or something along those lines. I think it can apply here to devotion as well.

Several years ago I worked on an Alzheimer/Dementia unit. One of my elderly patients was in the end stage of dementia, mentally she was completely gone, and she required total care. Her husband, Mr. C, would come to see her every day. He would arrive early in the morning to feed her breakfast and help get her ready for the day. He would sit with her, talk to her, read to her, wheel her around the facility and outside when the weather was good. After feeding her lunch, he would leave for about an hour to go home and eat...and then he would return and only leave again when she was put to bed. He would do this EVERY day. Keep in mind, his wife did not recognize him, or respond to him...mentally she was just not there. He and I used to talk and he told me the story of how they met...it was at a navy dance when they were both in their late teens...they met in January, he married her that June, and they were together since that time. One day, we had a blizzard, and a state of emergency was declared. Of course, I still had to go to work, but the police were actually stopping "unessential" cars on the road. I was sitting behind the nurse's station when Mr. C walked in...I could not believe it. I said "Mr. C...you shouldn't be out in this weather! What are you doing here??" He smiled and replied "Well, I couldn't just leave my girl alone, could I?"

To me...that is not just love, that is devotion. Love can be a bit selfish sometimes. We enjoy love, not just because of the way we feel about someone, but also because of how they make US feel and how they feel about us. Love is best when it is reciprocal. However, devotion is something different. It is giving even when there is no hope of return, remaining constant when there is nothing to gain. It's putting the happiness of someone else above your own, doing without being told, giving without being asked.

I've had love in my life...several times. I think we've all had love, been loved, given love and received it. I think in this life, we love and are loved many times...but true devotion...I think if we are lucky enough to find that, it only comes around once in a lifetime.

[Gaige]

I wrote this story in another thread..I think the thread was about what love looks like, or something along those lines. I think it can apply here to devotion as well.

Several years ago I worked on an Alzheimer/Dementia unit. One of my elderly patients was in the end stage of dementia, mentally she was completely gone, and she required total care. Her husband, Mr. C, would come to see her every day. He would arrive early in the morning to feed her breakfast and help get her ready for the day. He would sit with her, talk to her, read to her, wheel her around the facility and outside when the weather was good. After feeding her lunch, he would leave for about an hour to go home and eat...and then he would return and only leave again when she was put to bed. He would do this EVERY day. Keep in mind, his wife did not recognize him, or respond to him...mentally she was just not there. He and I used to talk and he told me the story of how they met...it was at a navy dance when they were both in their late teens...they met in January, he married her that June, and they were together since that time. One day, we had a blizzard, and a state of emergency was declared. Of course, I still had to go to work, but the police were actually stopping "unessential" cars on the road. I was sitting behind the nurse's station when Mr. C walked in...I could not believe it. I said "Mr. C...you shouldn't be out in this weather! What are you doing here??" He smiled and replied "Well, I couldn't just leave my girl alone, could I?"

To me...that is not just love, that is devotion. Love can be a bit selfish sometimes. We enjoy love, not just because of the way we feel about someone, but also because of how they make US feel and how they feel about us. Love is best when it is reciprocal. However, devotion is something different. It is giving even when there is no hope of return, remaining constant when there is nothing to gain. It's putting the happiness of someone else above your own, doing without being told, giving without being asked.

I've had love in my life...several times. I think we've all had love, been loved, given love and received it. I think in this life, we love and are loved many times...but true devotion...I think if we are lucky enough to find that, it only comes around once in a lifetime.

excellent post.

[SoNotHer]

It's an exquisitely beautiful post, and it has made me smile inside and out. Thank you for starting the thread with such a special story.

I wrote this story in another thread..I think the thread was about what love looks like, or something along those lines. I think it can apply here to devotion as well.

Several years ago I worked on an Alzheimer/Dementia unit. One of my elderly patients was in the end stage of dementia, mentally she was completely gone, and she required total care. Her husband, Mr. C, would come to see her every day. He would arrive early in the morning to feed her breakfast and help get her ready for the day. He would sit with her, talk to her, read to her, wheel her around the facility and outside when the weather was good. After feeding her lunch, he would leave for about an hour to go home and eat...and then he would return and only leave again when she was put to bed. He would do this EVERY day. Keep in mind, his wife did not recognize him, or respond to him...mentally she was just not there. He and I used to talk and he told me the story of how they met...it was at a navy dance when they were both in their late teens...they met in January, he married her that June, and they were together since that time. One day, we had a blizzard, and a state of emergency was declared. Of course, I still had to go to work, but the police were actually stopping "unessential" cars on the road. I was sitting behind the nurse's station when Mr. C walked in...I could not believe it. I said "Mr. C...you shouldn't be out in this weather! What are you doing here??" He smiled and replied "Well, I couldn't just leave my girl alone, could I?"

To me...that is not just love, that is devotion. Love can be a bit selfish sometimes. We enjoy love, not just because of the way we feel about someone, but also because of how they make US feel and how they feel about us. Love is best when it is reciprocal. However, devotion is something different. It is giving even when there is no hope of return, remaining constant when there is nothing to gain. It's putting the happiness of someone else above your own, doing without being told, giving without being asked.

I've had love in my life...several times. I think we've all had love, been loved, given love and received it. I think in this life, we love and are loved many times...but true devotion...I think if we are lucky enough to find that, it only comes around once in a lifetime.

[Hollylane]

My brain is completely withered at this moment, thus preventing me from posting more about how I view devotion.

I think this thread is wonderful. I will contribute a poem that I wrote, that I feel speaks a little to the topic, "Devotion", and how I feel about it.

Love That You Love Her

Do not feed off the passion and desire presented in the electric arc
Between fingertips and the ache of skin that is longing for your touch
Or that beats visibly at the base of an arched neck exposed for taking
Respond not to the love that shines within raised and adoring eyes
Nor partake selfishly of the unfettered offer that is given only to you
Unless your heart too, has broken with the beauty of all that is her,
And bleeds with motiveless need to show this lover your own affection

~Hollylane 10/24/11

[atomiczombie]

Devotion is wanting the very best for someone you love, even when you aren't it. It's never giving up on someone you believe in.

[Dude]

It's visiting your friend with Aids in a hospice house
when he has dementia so bad, he does not notice your there anymore.
6 months, everyday after work
no matter what

[SoNotHer]

Beautiful posts... thank you all. I am grateful for them.

A couple posts reminded me of this beautiful film and story. The husband in it is losing his wife to Alzheimer's and stands by her even as she no longer recognizes him or remembers their love, even as she falls in love with another.

Devotion -

ct7eXP-ivAk

[Passionaria]

I have been contemplating the nature of love and devotion lately and wondering what that looks like for some people.

How are you devoted?

How are two devoted?

What is the full measure of devotion?



If my heart feels it, I am very devoted. I love fierce, and make no apologies for it. And I get hurt. But at least I know that I lived what is true in my heart. Devotion to me is the act of acknowledging the sacredness of your connection. A prayer of love put to action. If two people live this truth for each other, their bond is taken out of the mundane to a place of true love, where magic abides, in my mind.

I guess there is a devotion to the love and truth of self first. And if we are lucky enough to meet someone, and each others hearts are your truth, devotion is the bond, the nourishment, the prayer you make to one another~ Also your protection.

[SoNotHer]

So incredibly well said... and beautiful.

If my heart feels it, I am very devoted. I love fierce, and make no apologies for it. And I get hurt. But at least I know that I lived what is true in my heart. Devotion to me is the act of acknowledging the sacredness of your connection. A prayer of love put to action. If two people live this truth for each other, their bond is taken out of the mundane to a place of true love, where magic abides, in my mind.

I guess there is a devotion to the love and truth of self first. And if we are lucky enough to meet someone, and each others hearts are your truth, devotion is the bond, the nourishment, the prayer you make to one another~ Also your protection.

[mustangjeano]

I have been thinking about what this word means to me since I first read SoNotHer's question earlier today. It's not as simple for me to answer as the question looks at first. My short answer is, to give the very best that you have to offer at the moment, forever. Ideally that would include love, respect, patience, tenderness, passion, humor, and playfulness. This can be applicable to any human or animal relationships---sometimes the best I can strive for at the moment is respect and patience.
Jeano

[Tye]

All of these quotes are amazing replies! This reminds me of my grandparents,they had just celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary and my grandmother became ill and was placed in a nursing home. She was there for 10 yrs,not sure what she had,but she didnt know anyone most days,but my grandfather was there everyday all day with her. When he was no longer able to drive he sold their farm and moved into nursing home, so he could be with her. Gramma passed away in January and my grandad was lost without her! He went to sleep one night in August(same year as Gramma passed) and he never woke. He was healthy,but they said he died of a broken heart and just wanted to be with his true love.

[princessbelle]

Wow this is an great thread and these stories have definitely touched me as i know they have others.

I have one that stands out for me and i would like to share.

In Hospice, i see a lot of devotion. When one partner passes, the pain the other one goes through sometimes it is really hard to take and i have broken down and cried for them more times than i could tell you.

But, this one couple will always be, to me, a beacon for devotion and love. She had cancer. They had been married for over 60 years. She had been so very sick for over a year and he never left her side. He was up with her day and night for her every need. He called me in the middle of the night one night and said he thought it was getting close. When i got there, the air was sweet. He had candles lit and there was soft music playing. She was barely breathing and he held her hands and kissed her softly over and over and told her it was ok for her to let go.

She did as he said, and passed. I had walked out of the room to call the funeral home and when i came back into the room he was getting into the bed with her. I asked him if he was ok, it startled me a little bit.

He said "I've slept with this beautiful woman every night for over 60 years, tonight is no exception. I will hold her in our bed until they come and take her away from me".

To this day, when i think about them, the first thing i think of is...how lucky they were to have a love like that. It was beyond beautiful. He definitely had true devotion to that love and it was just breathtaking.

[SoNotHer]

What an incredible story... I could see and feel all of it. Thank you all for these beautiful, meaningful memories and thoughts on devotion. It is so good to read them.

Wow this is an great thread and these stories have definitely touched me as i know they have others.

I have one that stands out for me and i would like to share.

In Hospice, i see a lot of devotion. When one partner passes, the pain the other one goes through sometimes it is really hard to take and i have broken down and cried for them more times than i could tell you.

But, this one couple will always be, to me, a beacon for devotion and love. She had cancer. They had been married for over 60 years. She had been so very sick for over a year and he never left her side. He was up with her day and night for her every need. He called me in the middle of the night one night and said he thought it was getting close. When i got there, the air was sweet. He had candles lit and there was soft music playing. She was barely breathing and he held her hands and kissed her softly over and over and told her it was ok for her to let go.

She did as he said, and passed. I had walked out of the room to call the funeral home and when i came back into the room he was getting into the bed with her. I asked him if he was ok, it startled me a little bit.

He said "I've slept with this beautiful woman every night for over 60 years, tonight is no exception. I will hold her in our bed until they come and take her away from me".

To this day, when i think about them, the first thing i think of is...how lucky they were to have a love like that. It was beyond beautiful. He definitely had true devotion to that love and it was just breathtaking.

[always2late]

Wow this is an great thread and these stories have definitely touched me as i know they have others.

I have one that stands out for me and i would like to share.

In Hospice, i see a lot of devotion. When one partner passes, the pain the other one goes through sometimes it is really hard to take and i have broken down and cried for them more times than i could tell you.

But, this one couple will always be, to me, a beacon for devotion and love. She had cancer. They had been married for over 60 years. She had been so very sick for over a year and he never left her side. He was up with her day and night for her every need. He called me in the middle of the night one night and said he thought it was getting close. When i got there, the air was sweet. He had candles lit and there was soft music playing. She was barely breathing and he held her hands and kissed her softly over and over and told her it was ok for her to let go.

She did as he said, and passed. I had walked out of the room to call the funeral home and when i came back into the room he was getting into the bed with her. I asked him if he was ok, it startled me a little bit.

He said "I've slept with this beautiful woman every night for over 60 years, tonight is no exception. I will hold her in our bed until they come and take her away from me".

To this day, when i think about them, the first thing i think of is...how lucky they were to have a love like that. It was beyond beautiful. He definitely had true devotion to that love and it was just breathtaking.

I think we are lucky in our profession Belle...we see people at their worst, but we also see the best, the incredible acts of kindness, the love and devotion that some people share. There are days when I count myself as very lucky to have seen some of the things that I have seen.

[princessbelle]

I think we are lucky in our profession Belle...we see people at their worst, but we also see the best, the incredible acts of kindness, the love and devotion that some people share. There are days when I count myself as very lucky to have seen some of the things that I have seen.

This is so, so true. We see the devotion of families and it is just amazing and what a gift in life to be able to share that with them. When we find families that are truly devoted, it is such a blessing and makes it all worth while.

*Hugs to you sista

[Dude]

part 2 of
My friend ,Mark.
He looked very similiar to a cross between Patrick Swayze and Kurt Russell.
He easily could have been a conceited jerk but he wasn't. Instead, he was always trying to do things for others. He was always very nurturing and supportive.
I was blessed to not have to share him much with anyone as we were both usually single. He cooked us dinner nearly every night and I did the dishes. He would play our favorite songs and tidy up the rest of the house while I did them. We would then have dessert with our coffee and laugh (and on occasion ,cry) for hours. I always joked with him about being my 1st wife.

If I was going through something he would always bake me something to cheer me up and suggest we go to the river or beach. He was very calming and easy to be around.
He stood about 6"3" and could pass for a very manly man but he could pull out his swish when you least expected it.
He amused himself by using this shock factor effect on random people he would come across in his travels.

He had one former partner who he called the love of his life.
I got to witness his last moment of clarity with this man who showed
up to say his good bye's and knew he would finally now be able to let go.
I barely slept that night and shot straight up out of the bed at 5:00.
At 5:05, I got the call that he was gone.
I was in my late 20's. Some people never get to experience a friendship
like that and I feel enormously blessed.
His devotion for me ,made mine for him ,easy.

[Apocalipstic]

I used to dream of devotion and love to last through the ages.

[SoNotHer]

Wow. What a gorgeous line, A. It belongs in a song.

I used to dream of devotion and love to last through the ages.

[Sachita]

I crave devotion the way a heroin addict craves their next fix. Not just unconditional love... I am fortunate enough to have this many times in this life time, but a deep relinquishing of mind, body and soul. When a human offers you the very depths of their being expecting nothing in return but your approval and a smile on your face. My devotion addiction has made me the woman I am today and inspired me to leave no stone upturn in my pursuit of it. The years I sacrificed devotion, settling for less, I was empty and emotionally isolated.

Love without deep devotion, the existence to please me, is just not an option for me any more. If one isn't fully and completely devoted to me then I would rather be a lone and do without.

[SoNotHer]

Just incredible... Thank you for this, Sachita.

I crave devotion the way a heroin addict craves their next fix. Not just unconditional love... I am fortunate enough to have this many times in this life time, but a deep relinquishing of mind, body and soul. When a human offers you the very depths of their being expecting nothing in return but your approval and a smile on your face. My devotion addiction has made me the woman I am today and inspired me to leave no stone upturn in my pursuit of it. The years I sacrificed devotion, settling for less, I was empty and emotionally isolated.

Love without deep devotion, the existence to please me, is just not an option for me any more. If one isn't fully and completely devoted to me then I would rather be a lone and do without.

[Leigh]

These stories are just so beautiful :)

[genghisfawn]

This is going to be a bit difficult for me, because I feel as though I'm being a little whiny as well as a little sappy, but here goes...

I want to have a marriage someday. Not the wedding - people who overplan their wedding and demand perfection and go screaming Bridezilla drive me nuts. I want the kind of marriage both sets of my grandparents had. Both of those couples were thoroughly devoted to one another.

My Grandma and Grandpa loved hard and well. He fell in love with her intelligence, beauty and fortitude, and she mistrusted him because polio had left her with a short leg and infertility. He won her over, they adopted my Mom and uncle, they had the farm and the radio shop... they were happy. She died of Alzheimer's when I was 18, and a few years later we asked Grandpa, "Will you ever date again?" He said, "Nope. I'm married."

I wouldn't want my partner to live alone because of me, but I find his staunch devotion to not only my Grandma, but their marriage and what it meant to him, so very telling.

My Baba and Gido moved off their respective immigrant farms and lived in town so he could work for the railway. They built their house at the same time the Ukrainian community were building their church, and Baba asked Gido to plant a willow tree in the front yard so she'd have something to beat the kids with. :) When my Gido died suddenly of a stroke (a week after my Grandma died,) my Baba fell apart. They were symbiotic - in their elder years they'd been part of the Legion together, the Ukrainian Self-Reliance League, St John's Ambulance, numerous non-profits for special needs, etc. They lived their retirement years in mutual passion for service.

That's the kind of devotion I want. I want to be devoted to someone and support their desires and ideals for a better world and for a better love. I want the same from them. I don't want the wedding to be the best night of my life - I want my life to be the best possible and so much sweeter than I'd ever expected because someone with whom I have a mutual devotion is in it.