I Don't Get It

[Turtle]

I don't get it

I am hoping for a place to discuss, respectfully of people’s feelings…
in the spirit of learning and growing…
things that the larger society seems agreed on, but that we don’t understand…
with hopes of developing a deeper understanding of why it is that we think what we do.


For instance – The play “Death of a Salesman” is currently on Broadway and has long been a popular play. I don’t like it. There are lots of things I don’t like, but lead me to other places and feelings, which I appreciate. This play doesn’t strike me that way.
Check Wikipedia - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Death_of_a_Salesman

On me - Sometimes I feel incredibly simple – as in, “that’s bad, don’t do it.” Sometimes I have a clarity, like, “I don’t want to live that way”…including to the detriment of my career path, but to the benefit of my soul…I like to think. And sometimes, I wonder what it is that I don’t understand about a situation…

On the play - If Willy Loman had an affair – admit it and move on, get divorced, stay married, have the discussion with your wife, your son who busted you…why let it fester for years ultimately tainting so much, suicide for insurance money…really? This helps? Is the tragedy supposed to have us feel better about our lives? Why is this play such a big deal…I don’t get it?

This thing about “Death of a Salesman” is real for me, I don’t get it. It’s not just an example for the first page of this thread. I am hoping to gain a deeper understanding of what I am missing…without getting slapped upside the head…I know I can be dense sometimes.

In hope of deeper understanding and growth…The “I don’t get it” thread. Please share and ask…what don’t you get?

[Turtle]

In hope of deeper understanding...

I don't understand why the play "Death of a Salesman" is popular and/or so important in the "mainstream" culture...which admittedly I am outside.

Can someone help me understand what it is I don't get about it?

[Julien]

In hope of deeper understanding...

I don't understand why the play "Death of a Salesman" is popular and/or so important in the "mainstream" culture...which admittedly I am outside.

Can someone help me understand what it is I don't get about it?

This play, I think, is about expectations and failed expectations a father has for his sons, wife, especially himself; expectations the sons have for the father and his failure to live up to those expectations. In fact in the eyes of the father, his pride and joy, Biff does not live up to those expectations he has rightly or wrongly placed upon him. We should ask is the bar raised too high, is there some sort of perfection that is sought but sorely missing out? No one is perfect, Willy and his family are archetypes for a family under the disillusionment and imperfection of humanity. I hope I don't get too convoluted here, but I think this is important to note the time period this play was written in and the ending of World War II. As well as a study of the tensions between fathers and sons and what they believe the other to be. This play is a drama a tragedy that is a study of this bond between the father and son and what happens when one is seen as a failure in the others eyes. Either by chance or by intent. I think it is a commentary many films and plays of this era comments on that being the rebellious youth against authority, even if that authority is corrupt in some way. Think James Dean's character in East of Eden. I have more to say but will leave it for now.

[Turtle]

Thanks, Julien. That helps a lot...

And - it is on Broadway now with huge popularity...or may that speak more to the acting? It is a major acting piece, difficult, painful, a great honor to play the part of Willy, but the role has a difficult impact on the actors real life.

I have been known to blow off "tradition" and conventional things...for me, the danger of "expectations," particularly those of parents upon children and the ramifications of failure have always been apparent to me...maybe this is why I have trouble with the play?

And maybe I should say, I grew up in the 60s and 70s when it was much more acceptable to challenge authority...maybe because of plays and movies like this and of the James Dean type.

Any other thoughts?

[Hollylane]

This is an interesting thread Turtle. I'd like to see what people's different takes are on Death of A Salesman. Being a Capricorn, I tend to logic things to death sometimes. So, I hear what you're saying, and Julien's take is interesting. Taking the time period into consideration is, in my opinion, a great place to start from, in understanding why this play appeals to some in a different way.

My frivolous "I don't get it"...

Frozen peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. I don't get it.

Why does this appeal to some Americans? When I think about the fact that someone had the "creative" idea to market these to Americans. I immediately am concerned about the marketing's intended targets and how they arrived at this relationship with food. Hopefully I'm not offending anyone, but these are my honest thoughts about this food product, and I don't get why some people don't see the deeper issues surrounding convenience foods.

[LeftWriteFemme]

Turtle,

Thank you for this thread. I was having this discussion with a friend just the other night. She is a lover of drama and I am very selective of the drama I watch. If I don't feel it will help me move forward to a happier life I chose to avoid it. Death of a Salesman is on my avoid list for sure; my friend was suggesting I watch Glenn Gary Glenn Ross and when I asked her how I might benefit from watching this, her comment was.....the pain is so real. Personally, I've had enough real pain and am not looking for a refresher course. She has also recommended, Come Back Little Sheba.....it's not that I'm suggesting these aren't good films, I'm just saying they don't ring for me, say the way that, The Lion in Winter, does; it's drama, but I feel hopeful when I watch it.

I am a comedy watcher, but I will admit that I don't understand the attraction of The Three Stooges, I love the Marx Brothers, but the Stooges leave me cold.
Likewise, Woody the Woodpecker is something I don't understand, though I love The Animaniacs.

Again, thanks Turtle for this thread, there are so many things that strike a cord for some and not for others, it will be nice to hear from all sides.

[Julien]

Turtle,

Thank you for this thread. I was having this discussion with a friend just the other night. She is a lover of drama and I am very selective of the drama I watch. If I don't feel it will help me move forward to a happier life I chose to avoid it. Death of a Salesman is on my avoid list for sure; my friend was suggesting I watch Glenn Gary Glenn Ross and when I asked her how I might benefit from watching this, her comment was.....the pain is so real. Personally, I've had enough real pain and am not looking for a refresher course. She has also recommended, Come Back Little Sheba.....it's not that I'm suggesting these aren't good films, I'm just saying they don't ring for me, say the way that, The Lion in Winter, does; it's drama, but I feel hopeful when I watch it.

I am a comedy watcher, but I will admit that I don't understand the attraction of The Three Stooges, I love the Marx Brothers, but the Stooges leave me cold.
Likewise, Woody the Woodpecker is something I don't understand, though I love The Animaniacs.

Again, thanks Turtle for this thread, there are so many things that strike a cord for some and not for others, it will be nice to hear from all sides.

I think it is an intellectual response versus an emotional response or even a superfiscial knee jerk response when it comes to comedy and what we like. I like wit better than slapstick and the turn of a phrase over someone having a building fall on them. However at this moment, I am thinking now how Charlie Chaplin was able to put the emotions of compassion into his films, without dialogue let alone sound. I can see that type of comedy because it's about self. I do not see the draw of the Three Stooges either, but that's just me. In terms of films I prefer the intellectual comedy of a Katherine Hepburn and Spencer Tracy with it's witty banter and innuendo. You have to pay attention to it and it is subtle. I like that.

[Turtle]

Wow, Hollylane, I love peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, but I never heard of them frozen...hmmmmm. I take it these are being marketed at kids, who like, couldn't make their own P B & J sammiches and put 'em in the freezer?

LeftWriteFemme - when I was younger (I'm 53) I used to watch lots of "painful" tv & film; I think to feel, emote, think, sort things out, learn, develop an opinion on different situations...and now I will attempt to skip it if it if it is not new and different for me - more of the same ugliness is not to be added into my consciousness.

I like comedy that makes me laugh out loud (and slipping on banana peels ain't gonna do it for me) and comedy that makes me think and expand my boundaries - social commentary kind of stuff can being smart funny...and edgy.

And both you and Julien make me want to get to netflix...now I have to choose where to start...

Thanks again, Julien, we've all got a couple of hours before fireworks, even on the east coast...

[Talon]

I do not get the whole "Hummer limousine"....why?


*In response to the witty & clever (Marx brothers) v.s. good ol' slapstick (3 Stooges),
I can appreciate both types of humor for what they are, which is very different. It just depends upon my mood and the mindset I'm in at the time.


>Interesting thread idea, Turtle.

[lillith]

Hi, Turtle. I have much to say, but I will start with that I think it is rather ironic that you called this thread, "I don't get it." I think it is ironic because in Linda's last monologue (the last speaking part of the entire play), she states, ". . . I don't understand it." She says this a couple of times. :) Perhaps, that is the point. It is hard to understand the motives of one person when it seems to us that an easier path exists. We don't get any inner dialogue for Willy, so his motives have to be speculated. I think that is part of the reason this play is so powerful and still has the potential to affect contemporary audiences. Another part is that it is very human. It is written in a plain language that allows the audience to identify with the characters/situations. Maybe it is also that no matter the era or generation, each seeks to understand its place in society. *shrugs* There is a lot of analysis out there on this play, but it is all speculation.

[thedivahrrrself]

I don't get America's blind support for Israel.

I get why we need an ally in the Middle East. I get why some Americans identify with the plight of the Jewish people. I get why Israel exists as a state.

But I don't get why, when they shoot one of our own unarmed citizens at almost point blank range, on video, why our diplomats don't go postal on them, why our people don't get up in arms about that.

I don't get why we can look at the human rights injustices (which are, admittedly on both sides, but Israel is the more powerful player here) and just turn a blind eye, and keep sending more cash and weapons. I don't get why Palestinians aren't allowed to have things like band-aids and basic building materials.

I don't understand this game we play with Israel. It's like an accepted American position that we all support anything and everything the State of Israel does. Why do we get to question every other country's motives, but not theirs?

When the Arab Spring happened, everyone cheered for Muslims in Egypt, in Yemen - YAY! They have a right to democratically elect their own leaders! - but no one made the connection to Palestinians. I don't understand why they don't also have that same right.

I just don't get it.

[thedivahrrrself]

I also didn't get Napoleon Dynamite.

That movie made me feel old. I scratched my head through the whole thing.

[pinkgeek]

Re: Death of a Salesman - I can't help but think of Eugene O'Neil and Long Day's Journey into Night (written close to the same time period I believe). The Tyrones are another family suffering under the disillusionment and imperfections of life.

In my experience the value in these tragic plays is that they do mimic real life. If anyone could "just stop" or "just don't" etc. etc. there would be less poverty, disease, abuse etc, but that isn't how humans are wired. Perfect logic is interrupted by dreams, lust, greed, fear, shame and thus often imperfect choices are all that can be seen and certainly what is chosen.

If the only stories we told in theatre and books were stories of Happily.Ever.After where all the characters made all the logical choices it would not be art reflecting life - it would be art reflecting an illusions of perfection. (I'm sure the right wing would just love this concept!)

Your mileage may vary.

This play, I think, is about expectations and failed expectations a father has for his sons, wife, especially himself; expectations the sons have for the father and his failure to live up to those expectations. In fact in the eyes of the father, his pride and joy, Biff does not live up to those expectations he has rightly or wrongly placed upon him. We should ask is the bar raised too high, is there some sort of perfection that is sought but sorely missing out? No one is perfect, Willy and his family are archetypes for a family under the disillusionment and imperfection of humanity. I hope I don't get too convoluted here, but I think this is important to note the time period this play was written in and the ending of World War II. As well as a study of the tensions between fathers and sons and what they believe the other to be. This play is a drama a tragedy that is a study of this bond between the father and son and what happens when one is seen as a failure in the others eyes. Either by chance or by intent. I think it is a commentary many films and plays of this era comments on that being the rebellious youth against authority, even if that authority is corrupt in some way. Think James Dean's character in East of Eden. I have more to say but will leave it for now.

[cinnamongrrl]

I came across this this very day.....I dont get....vegetarians who berate NON vegetarians for eating meat..to the point of leaving a dinner party because of the bad mojo at being around meat eaters..and yet they have down comforters and leather shoes...do they really think that the animals VOLUNTEERED these things for their use?? And just by the by....i am mostly vegetarian...and will attempt at being vegan soonly...but i refuse to be a nazi about it....I just cant stand hypocritical better than thou types....irks me to no end...thats my soap box session for the day :)

[Teddybear]

I came across this this very day.....I dont get....vegetarians who berate NON vegetarians for eating meat..to the point of leaving a dinner party because of the bad mojo at being around meat eaters..and yet they have down comforters and leather shoes...do they really think that the animals VOLUNTEERED these things for their use?? And just by the by....i am mostly vegetarian...and will attempt at being vegan soonly...but i refuse to be a nazi about it....I just cant stand hypocritical better than thou types....irks me to no end...thats my soap box session for the day :)

Baby

Im so thankful that your NOT a nazi about it since I eat meat and do so around you. I love when you get all up in arms about something you care about.

Hey remember we r having a cook out tues and ur veggie burgers will have a place of honor AWAY from the meat

[Novelafemme]

I don't get bathing suits. I mean, if you're gonna get into the water, why have an article of clothing on when it's just gonna get wet?

And I'm still pondering frozen PB&J's.

I pretty much sit around all day wondering about everything under the sun, so this thread is awesome in my book!

[thedivahrrrself]

I would like to come out in favor of bathing suits. For those of us with less-than-perfect bodies who prefer them covered, wet or not.

[Novelafemme]

I'll admit, I'm a total nudist at heart.

[thedivahrrrself]

I might be too if I was skinny! LOL

As it stands, I'm only a household nudist. :)

[aishah]

i don't get napoleon dynamite, the anchorman, or kill bill.

i don't get why nationalism (which is a fairly recent development in human history which we now obsess over almost religiously) and fictional borders are more important to people than caring for other human beings or our survival/ability to thrive as a species.

novelafemme...in my skinnydipping experience, bathing suits are really helpful to hold the boobies down. :blush: but i'm all in favor of nudity and self-acceptance for every body...whether conventionally attractive or not :)

[JustJo]

I don't get bathing suits. I mean, if you're gonna get into the water, why have an article of clothing on when it's just gonna get wet?

And I'm still pondering frozen PB&J's.

I pretty much sit around all day wondering about everything under the sun, so this thread is awesome in my book!

I would like to come out in favor of bathing suits. For those of us with less-than-perfect bodies who prefer them covered, wet or not.

I'm with Novela....swimming suits (in my own pool with a privacy fence) seem like a silly waste of time....not to mention that skinny dipping feels so much better.

My body is far from perfect, but I just don't care! :cheesy:

I can't possibly list all the things I don't get...I'd never leave this thread... :blink:

[thedivahrrrself]

I'm with Novela....swimming suits (in my own pool with a privacy fence) seem like a silly waste of time....not to mention that skinny dipping feels so much better.

My body is far from perfect, but I just don't care! :cheesy:

I can't possibly list all the things I don't get...I'd never leave this thread... :blink:

Oh, now I'm with you, Jo! If I had my own pool, and no one was watching, I MUCH prefer skinny dipping. I guess I think of pools as public places. Maybe I should get one to get naked in. LOL

[JustJo]

Okay, here's one I don't get...

I seriously don't understand being a "fan" and the entire "cult of celebrity" thing. Sure, there are authors I enjoy, singers I like to listen to, actors that I think are particularly talented, shows that I enjoy...

What I don't "get" are the (what feels to me like) fixations that so many people have on celebrities.... to follow and want to hear about their personal lives, want pictures and autographs....stuff like that.

Maybe it's something missing in me....cuz I've never been a fan of a team either... :)

[Turtle]

Howdy Folks, I've been away for a week at the GALA Festival of Choruses...it was great, very GAY, and I did not take or look for a computer...so I'll try to catch up...and thank you to those who have carried on...YAY!!


Hummer Limousines - me thinks it's just about more bigger, but what do I know?

...and I can and will be moody about humor...

lillith - "Willy's wife Linda also plays a role in the irony at the requiem. Linda takes a moment alone with Willy's grave telling him, "I made the last payment on the house today. Today, dear. And there'll be nobody home." Ironically Willy kills himself just before he is "free and clear" of debt. There is also another ironic piece to Linda's final words to her husband. She says to him, "Why did you do it? I search and search and I search, and I can't understand it, Willy." This is ironic because throughout the play Linda is the only person that loves Willy unconditionally for who he is, but in reality she has no idea who he is at all. Linda never let herself understand Willy's psychological problems, therefore the only thing she can think to blame for his suicide is their financial burden.

Citation: "Irony in the Requiem of Arthur Miller's play, Death of a Salesman." 123HelpMe.com. 14 Jul 2012
<http://www.123HelpMe.com/view.asp?id=14642>.

There is so much that may have to do with a person knowing who they really are...and being able to be that, in the presence of other people's expectations and judgements...

I heard Philip Seymour Hoffman, who played Willy in this last Broadway production, talk about how awful and draining the role is, yet that one must take on if one is asked to do it....if one has attained that level of ability...

very interesting.

[Turtle]

...and I sure ain't gonna be able to starighten any of it out...and, by the way, I originally put this in "The Emperor's New Clothes" threadspace and June moved it, but maybe I should have put it in "The Red Zone" for no moderating...

For me, I grew up in very pro-Jewish, pro-Israel space...

well, for me, this brings in a mixity of race, ethnicity, religion, power, privilege, politics, and hegemony in my background...

...and family...

I grew up in very pro-Jewish, pro-Israel space...and as time has gone on the reality of events in the real World... and my point of view...have changed over time.

When I read accounts of ambulances with Palestinian People in them being held in lines at the border or Palestinian People being forced to go to a specific hospital for Palestinian People....and that People die...it also reminds me of how this country has been in the past and is moving toward again.

When I read or hear about the government of Israel wanting Palestinian truck drivers to were identification badges...and then I hear that the Israeli truck drivers started wearing ID badges too - to make a point....and help People remember...

When I hear jingoistic rhetoric in any form I think there is a problem. Automatic defense of anything or anybody, in my opinion, can be problematic.

As an individual, I have the easier job of making my own opinion and living with a mixity...as a government making political statements and trying to form alliances (which I think are very problematic) it is not so easy...people get pissed off, we try to act like grown-ups, but we can't, we get dug in, defend our "friends" and "family"...if it's us being the rebels it's OK - if it's somebody not us, it's not OK...

just my opinion..

I don't get America's blind support for Israel.

I get why we need an ally in the Middle East. I get why some Americans identify with the plight of the Jewish people. I get why Israel exists as a state.

But I don't get why, when they shoot one of our own unarmed citizens at almost point blank range, on video, why our diplomats don't go postal on them, why our people don't get up in arms about that.

I don't get why we can look at the human rights injustices (which are, admittedly on both sides, but Israel is the more powerful player here) and just turn a blind eye, and keep sending more cash and weapons. I don't get why Palestinians aren't allowed to have things like band-aids and basic building materials.

I don't understand this game we play with Israel. It's like an accepted American position that we all support anything and everything the State of Israel does. Why do we get to question every other country's motives, but not theirs?

When the Arab Spring happened, everyone cheered for Muslims in Egypt, in Yemen - YAY! They have a right to democratically elect their own leaders! - but no one made the connection to Palestinians. I don't understand why they don't also have that same right.

I just don't get it.

[Turtle]

pinkgeek..." illusions of perfection," what an interesting phrase...trying to be...what we think we should be or what is expected...and what happens if we don't make it....

"Re: Death of a Salesman - I can't help but think of Eugene O'Neil and Long Day's Journey into Night (written close to the same time period I believe). The Tyrones are another family suffering under the disillusionment and imperfections of life.

In my experience the value in these tragic plays is that they do mimic real life. If anyone could "just stop" or "just don't" etc. etc. there would be less poverty, disease, abuse etc, but that isn't how humans are wired. Perfect logic is interrupted by dreams, lust, greed, fear, shame and thus often imperfect choices are all that can be seen and certainly what is chosen.

If the only stories we told in theatre and books were stories of Happily.Ever.After where all the characters made all the logical choices it would not be art reflecting life - it would be art reflecting an illusions of perfection. (I'm sure the right wing would just love this concept!)

Your mileage may vary."
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
cinnamongrrl563 - I think... :-) that people get fundamentalist about all sorts of things...and it's that pointing out a speck in someone else's eye with a freakin log sticking out of your own...


"I dont get....vegetarians who berate NON vegetarians for eating meat..to the point of leaving a dinner party because of the bad mojo at being around meat eaters..and yet they have down comforters and leather shoes...do they really think that the animals VOLUNTEERED these things for their use?? And just by the by....i am mostly vegetarian...and will attempt at being vegan soonly...but i refuse to be a nazi about it....I just cant stand hypocritical better than thou types....irks me to no end..."

[puddin']

I might be too if I was skinny! LOL

As it stands, I'm only a household nudist. :)

what da hell does your body have to do wit' feelin' good about bein'nude. nude feels good full stop...

[Turtle]

Hurray for shared space and plenty of space on the barbeque grill...

bathing suits can be helpful in some places and skin is great in others...I sure got a kick out of the "holding boobies down" thing...

I don't get the "cult of celebrity" thing either - the couple of times I've gotten an autograph, it wasn't really for the signature, it was because I was curious about what the person might say...

Oh to ponder.... :deepthoughts:


...I'm seeing a bit of a theme of self-acceptance....except in the frozen PB&J sammiches ;-)

PS - there's no such thing as a perfect body.

[thedivahrrrself]

nude feels great as long as no one else is looking! LOL

sorry, just not into public nudity. I was just teasing about if I was skinny. I'd probably still not skinny dip in public. I always used to say if i'd been born skinny, I might have stripped through college, and I wouldn't have to worry about student loans!! My cousin used to clear a six-figure income that way.

[RockOn]

I don't get why the media writes articles about Charlie Sheen ... and then why anyone reads them.

Baffling to me.

[Turtle]

Yeah, I don't understand the attention Charlie Sheen gets.


Today I am brought back to wondering why the job keeps around a person who:

~ doesn't communicate
~ sends people on wild goose chases
~ says things that aren't true
~ makes other people's jobs much more difficult
~ creates much frustration around her

Why do they keep her around???

[QueenofSmirks]

Turtle,

... my friend was suggesting I watch Glenn Gary Glenn Ross ....


For more than a decade, coworkers (sales guys) have suggested I watch Glenn Gary Glenn Ross. I finally bit the bullet and watched it a couple of weeks ago. There was some funny sentimentality to the big speech by Alec Baldwin in the beginning, almost a (negative) nostalgia about how sales organizations used to run, and some still do. However, I couldn't get much past that part, because it reminded me of so much of what I hated about living in NYC. Miserable people living miserable lives and complaining about it nonstop. I lived it for real, and have no desire to watch it on DVD. So, I saw the big speech part, I snickered, remembering those times, and then I struggled through 10 more minutes and turned it off.

When I went back my office on Monday and told everyone I had watched it, the most enthusiastic of my coworkers said, "Well, what did you think??!!!", and I told him. After about 5 seconds he said, "You're right. There's no real reason to watch it except for the speech by Alec Baldwin."

I thought that was pretty funny actually, that here he had spent all this time trumping it up, telling me I HAD TO watch it, only to realize it actually wasn't that great after all. It probably goes to the point of the original poster here... sometimes, in fact a LOT of times, people jump on a bandwagon they aren't even aware of. I'm not that way at all, in fact, I avoid most things that are trendy and popular. I'm sort of anti-trendy, and it irks me when my anti things become trendy... like tattoos.

[Turtle]

Thanks...

I'm pretty anti-trendy myself and often, I just can't do reality as entertainment, either.

I never got around to checking out LWF's suggestion....I will try to check out, at least the speech, later.

[cinnamongrrl]

I dont get....why I cant find a thread I'm looking for even when I do a search for it....by name.....and how even though I've posted in the thread before, I cant even find it in my user CP..... :| Im IRKED......

[Teddybear]

I dont get....why I cant find a thread I'm looking for even when I do a search for it....by name.....and how even though I've posted in the thread before, I cant even find it in my user CP..... :| Im IRKED......

Wants some help??? Bet u I can find it (weg)

[Turtle]

I dont get....why I cant find a thread I'm looking for even when I do a search for it....by name.....and how even though I've posted in the thread before, I cant even find it in my user CP..... :| Im IRKED......

Me, too!!! I search on the correct title and it still comes up with zilch! Maybe Teddybear can explain it...although maybe that offer was just for cinnamongrrl563 ;-)

[Teddybear]

Me, too!!! I search on the correct title and it still comes up with zilch! Maybe Teddybear can explain it...although maybe that offer was just for cinnamongrrl563 ;-)

I dont search I go to the forums home page and then go down the categories till I find where I think it will be and look in there easy peasy

[Ginger]

I don't get synchronized swimming. What freak show!

[aishah]

I don't get synchronized swimming. What freak show!

okay, i don't get that you don't get synchronized swimming! hehehe. it always seems like dancing in the water to me, and i love dancing.

[Ginger]

okay, i don't get that you don't get synchronized swimming! hehehe. it always seems like dancing in the water to me, and i love dancing.


Yes you have a point there Aisha...

And what sport isn't weird, after all??

I was thinking too ... that argument, What is art?—You know how it never ends?

I think, What is a sport? never ends, either.

Nor should it.

But I still don't get it !!!! LOL

The make-up freaks me out. Since when is that part of the criteria for judging a sport? Maybe I'm missing something...

I dunno. Still thinking.

[aishah]

the makeup and costumes are a bit over the top, but i think it's the same for figure skating.

[aishah]

i don't get why they changed the ending of the my sister's keeper film! i finally watched it and i'm so upset now. the book ending was amazing. the movie ending makes me feel like i just wasted two hours.

[Nomad]

the popularity of thomas kinkaid

why eggplant is allowed to be a food

what "weg" is an abbreviation for

how i didnt notice that the Dubois autobiography i just bought for $1.50 is missing an entire chapter right outta the middle

why i'm drinking french roast :crap:

and why badminton is an Olympic sport

[Turtle]

Often, I actually put the correct title of the thread into the search box and it still does not come up….I don’t know how the search works or why that happens.

I am not sure, but I think “weg” stands for “wicked evil grin,” which is why I wondered if the offer was just for cinnamongrrl563…I have different ways of guessing and poking around, but I think it ought to come up in the search.

Lots of people do lots of things that don’t interest me, sometimes I wonder why they do that thing they do…I wonder why do they work SO hard to be the “best”…and I wonder what does that mean? Really, what does it mean? There’s LOTS I don’t get…

…and I kinda like synchronized swimming…I’m not a big fan of make-up, but lots of people wear it…

…totally changing the end of a story…there are just so many reasons that I think “fucking Hollywood!”

…so many different people, so many different tastes – I could live without Thomas Kincaid, I enjoy grilled eggplant, sending a book missing a chapter…maybe I should have named the thread “What The Fuck.”


AND I always appreciate a good explanation – an explanation that gets me a deeper understanding of the issue at hand and the World around me.

[Strappie]

I don't get some people.. we need education... This father has it RIGHT!

FROM John Kinnear: HuffPost

Dear hypothetically gay son,

You're gay. Obviously you already know that, because you told us at the dinner table last night. I apologize for the awkward silence afterwards, but I was chewing. It was like when we're at a restaurant and the waiter comes up mid-bite and asks how the meal is, only in this metaphor you are the waiter, and instead of asking me about my meal, you said you were gay. I don't know why I needed to explain that. I think I needed to find a funny way to repeat the fact that you're gay... because that is what it sounds like in my head right now: "My son is gay. My son is gay. My son is gay."

Let me be perfectly clear: I love you. I will always love you. Since being gay is part of who you are, I love that you're gay. I'm just trying to wrap my head around the idea. If you sensed any sadness in my silence last night, it was because I was surprised that I was surprised. Ideally, I would have already known. Since you were an embryo, my intent has always been to really know you for who you are and not who I expect you to be. And yet, I was taken by surprise at last night's dinner. Have I said "surprise" enough in this paragraph? One more time: Surprise!

OK. Let's get a few things straight about how things are going to be.

Our home is a place of safety and love. The world has dealt you a difficult card. While LGBT people are becoming more accepted, it is still a difficult path to walk. You're going to experience hate and anger and misunderstandings about who you are out in the world. That will not happen here. You need to know with every fiber of who you are that when you walk in the front door of your home, you are safe, and you are loved. Your mother is in complete agreement with me on this.
I am still, as always, your biggest defender. Just because you're gay doesn't mean you're any less capable of taking care of and defending yourself. That said, if you need me to stand next to you or in front of you, write letters, sign petitions, advocate, or anything else, I am here. I would go to war for you.
If you're going to have boys over, you now need to leave your bedroom door open. Sorry, kiddo. Them's the breaks. I couldn't have girls in my room with the door shut, so you don't get to have boys.
You and I are going to revisit that talk we had about safe sex. I know it's going to be awkward for both of us, but it is important. I need to do some research first, so let's give it a few weeks. If you have questions or concerns before then, let me know.

That's enough for now. Feel free to view this letter as a contract. If I ever fail to meet any of the commitments made herein, pull it out and hold me to account. I'll end with this: You are not broken. You are whole, and beautiful. You are capable and compassionate. You and your sister are the best things I have ever done with my life, and I couldn't be prouder of the people you've become.

Love,
Dad

P.S. Thanks to a few key Supreme Court decisions and the Marriage Equality Act of 2020, you're legally able to get married. When I was your age, that was just an idea. Pretty cool, huh?