How have you met the people you've been involved with romantically or sexually?

[Ginger]

I'm curious to know how people have met their partners, lovers, spouses or people they dated.

I'll go back like 20 years and answer the question for myself. I'm leaving out people I dated a little but didn't get involved with in any significant way.

Please start with the past and work toward the future, in your list.



We were in graduate school together
She used to come into the bookstore where I worked
I met her on a gay and lesbian dating website that's defunct now; I can't even remember what it was called.
I met him on a butch/femme website attached to the "dash" site
She was introduced to me by her Ex, a femme I met on a Trans/Soffa listserv
I met her on FABU East, Femmes and Butches East, a listserv.
We met at the Butch Femme Society meetings at the LGBT Center in NYC
I met her on Match.com.



As to "why" come up with such a list—it would be fun to discuss and hear people's opinions about how we meet our partners, but first I wanted to see the lists, if anyone is up for it.

Thanks,
Scout

[pajama]

I met him while shooting pool on campus.
I met her through a mutual gay friend that I met while working at the pizza parlor.
I met her through a f-buddy at a women's music event, we danced the night away.
I met her at a women's spiritual drumming circle.
He was my auto mechanics teacher.
I went back to the dancing girl in line three.
She was clever enough to "get" my encripted e-mail address in my match.com advertisement.
I was so drunk the first time we met at a Man Cave dedication party that I didn't remember her the next time we met and I was swept off my feet.
mmmmm I met him at Apocalipstic's house.
I stalked her online for YEARS, then we finally met at the first BFP Reunion.

Oh, and I just realized I went back 30 years, not 20. Sorry.

[Ginger]

I met him while shooting pool on campus.
I met her through a mutual gay friend that I met while working at the pizza parlor.
I met her through a f-buddy at a women's music event, we danced the night away.
I met her at a women's spiritual drumming circle.
He was my auto mechanics teacher.
I went back to the dancing girl in line three.
She was clever enough to "get" my encripted e-mail address in my match.com advertisement.
I was so drunk the first time we met at a Man Cave dedication party that I didn't remember her the next time we met and I was swept off my feet.
mmmmm I met him at Apocalipstic's house.
I stalked her online for YEARS, then we finally met at the first BFP Reunion.

Oh, and I just realized I went back 30 years, not 20. Sorry.


Love your answers! And it's cool, however many years people go back. :)

[*Anya*]

My long-term ex and I met in NOW. She was president of the Whittier/SE LA chapter for one year and I was president of the same chapter, the following year. I had not really discovered butches until her. Then, I noticed NOW was chock-full of butches (especially at national conventions).

She was with a lover for a few years and I was with my first "real" GF. Both of us subsequently broke up with our partners ( having nothing to do with each other) and we wound up getting together and as most of you already know, we were together for 19-years.

I met my current GF on a lesbian dating site about 2-months ago.

I "liked" her picture with a comment: "You are a handsome woman with a great smile".

I had written in my profile, that my ideal date would be at an ocean-side restaurant, at sunset..." and she wrote me an email that simply said: "How about Saturday night?"

I had been dating a much younger butch from San Diego, at the time and knew I was never going to fall in love with her but enjoyed our relationship, knowing it was not going to go anywhere in the long-term. (I had also met her on a lesbian dating site but a different one).

I threw out my usual rule of meeting only for a cup of coffee on the first meeting, for the handsome butch with a great smile.

We had a great time on our first date at a romantic, oceanfront restaurant and she gave me a kiss good-night that left me weak-kneed.

We have been dating exclusively since then. She is funny, smart, quick-witted and bright.

She lives 20-25 minutes from me!

I am kind of crazy about her.

[clay]

I met her at our work place. I was promoted to Dayshift Head Nurse, and she was my replacement on second shift. We were together 5 years.
My beautiful wife of 15 years, I met on the old MSN website...W4W...chuckles...my very first ever time of being on a computer, much less a chat room....I lost her almost 4 years ago, to cancer.. I have only dated some since that time.....until.....:)....
My current GF & I were friends online for several months....:)....she has caught my heart & soul...

[Ginger]

I guess it's not surprising that, on a social website, a lot of the responses so far have included meeting people on social websites.

It seems like the further back you go, the more likely it's not going to be a social-website context for meeting.

Of course, this is a very small sampling, and skewed, like I said, because we're on a social website, answering the question.

I'm really interested to see more lists of how people met their significant others over the years.

Thank you, everyone who responded so far!

[Metro]

Relationsip history in a nutshell... interesting, fun, and thought provoking idea for a thread, Scout! I'll bite! :)

Met longer term relationships:

-- In college, met BF at social event.
-- After college, met BF at member holiday party specific to my profession.
-- After coming out, met first GF while walking my dog. Dogs are a great social lubricant, imho.
-- Introduced to GF at a bar thru a mutual friend.
-- Met GF while volunteering (ongoing basis) at a major LGBTQIP community organization.
-- Introduced to GF at birthday party of a gay guy friend.
-- Met GF on blind date thru a local online dating website; also via Match.com

I have dated several other women (some femme, some not) on a more casual basis, but these were very short term (3 months or less) liasons because they weren't a good mutual "fit" for one reason or another. Am currently single.

[Cody0166]

I had a couple short term bf’s and gf’s when I was young. But at 24 I met my sister’s friend at my mother’s funeral. She was 33 years my senior, so quite the age gap. But the age difference didn’t affect anything in a negative way and the relationship lasted 20 years. She is still a big part of my life. She is my family now, as all of my family has passed away.
I’ve now been involved with someone for the past 10 years who I met online. We have a blood covenant of marriage but also plan on having a civil marriage soon.:alieninjar::heartbeat:

[txdoc]

-met him in college when I was 19, we recently reconnected, first thing he told me now is that he is gay
-met her at Rosh hashana dinner and danced the night away, first time I fell in love
-met him at college, was my best friend, we married and had two incredible kids, 17 years
-met her online, together 8 years
-met her online, together 1 year
-falling in love again

[grenade]

This is gonna make me have to dust off the ol' brain.

18- first love... I was a waitress at a steak house outside of Dallas. His mom was a waitress as well. I would charge him the senior citizen prices. He made me laugh. Fun times, we were both gemini's. He passed away a few years ago. :(

Still young and wild... met at a CB break. If you don't know what that is then Im not explaining other than, redneck chat line. We wreaked havoc. We're FB friends now. It freaks me out to look back on the what might have beens.

22...Kids father... He came into the 7-11 I then worked at. I thought he was a creeper. (I was right) I refused to go on a date with him. Months later we were hooked up on a blind date through mutual friends. Married cause I got knocked up before I saw through the lies. Still paying for my mistakes.

Cable guy. *nods* it really happens like that sometimes. Actually, this was developed through AOL chat. My first online experience. Lasted several years. Best friend's more than anything.

Ex- chat site.

Ex- chat site. Lived together several years. Cheated with a 19 year old. *still bitter*

And now.... met on dash, continued here... shacked up and feeling complete for the first time.

I may have left a few out here and there. lol

[Gráinne]

-Met him at a high school boys' gymnastic meet where we were scorekeepers for our respective teams. We were involved off and on for the rest of high school, but since we lived across town and neither of us drove, that was a lot of bus rides.

-Met him at a college dance. We gradually went to "just friends", and he then became my mother's accountant.

-Met him at a frat party. Together 5 years.

-Met him in a parking lot. Together 4 very long years.

-The father of my kids. I actually was friends with his mother first, and she fixed us up.

-Met her on a site where we were both admins. I count her as my first really powerful attraction to another woman, though we decided to be just friends (and we still are). Went to England to visit her, even though we wouldn't be together. She's been married to her partner for a year or so.

-Met her on gaydar, first falling in love, and all the physical part with, another woman. A relationship didn't work out but we're still close friends today. Ironically, she's also happily married to her partner. Everyone gets married after they date me ;).

Present day....crushing on Beaker ;).

[Venus007]

I am not at all counting the numerous catch and release encounters, just the few I have dated. . .

-met him at church
-met her at a dog boarding kennel, 1st love and we are still friends almost 30 years later
-met her at a bar
-met her at a rave
-met him at a sweat lodge
-met her at a Pysanky party, together 10 years, still close friends
-met him on the dash site
-she emailed me out of the blue, met at an art museum, 4 years and counting

[Soft*Silver]

Placed an add in our local gay paper, dated alot. Met Her and we hooked up and dated about a year. She was an attny and ended up stalking me, even tho she was the one cheating on me. LOL.

Answered an add in our local gay paper that said "gentleman butch seeking high heeled lipstick wearing femme" we were married for 7 years.

Placed an add on a match site, looking for a dinner companion while I was at a western state (I am east) for a convention. He answered, we met, fell in love. Were together 2 1/2 years.

Met HER thru selling a horse to her. HER. the love of my life woman. the one who got under my skin and I still love to this day. We have just started a friendship again. We have eons of lives together. She is my samarai. Someday i will write a story about us...we were together for 2 1/3 years

then I started moving to be with people....I do NOT advise this for anyone with any ties or property...

Married a PA butch I found on the old butchfemme dating site, who cheated on me right after we moved in together. Found out later this was pretty much her MO.

Moved to upstate NY and lived on a sheep farm with mini ponies, and geese and handsome big butch I met on that butchfemme dating site. One of my fondest memories is from this time and has nothing to do with her at all. She is the one I write about as the sociopath. Nothing and I mean nothing had any root to reality or truth to it. I was gone in less than a year. She did major damage to me.

Moved to NH. Moved back to Ohio. Less than a year.

Swore off relationships. Had an online relationship with someone I dearly loved but was too broken to really make the move again, emotionally and geographically.Met her thru a different BF forum site,. I was so damaged. so very very damaged. I swore to god I would never love again and pushed everyone away. I had relapsed in my AA recovery and needed time to heal mentally physically and spiritually. I am strong again in recovery and if ever I was to move again to be with someone, this person would be her but we both knew neither of us would give up our homes. So we remain dear friends.

Was on FB advocating for a cat shelter, and met chrissy. He is a man of a different nature. Born male, definitely female natured and surely femme. NONE of which I preferred. But admired his intelligence and values and humor. We became FB friends. Over weeks, we chatted, then met. And then he began to serve me as his Missus. I became ill, needed surgery and he tended to me as my nurse. He moved in to take care of me. My heart that was stone cold and traumatized, healed while my body healed. I fell in love. He had always been in love. This is such a different kind of relationship for me..a man, a femme man, and totally female directed relationship. We are set to be married in July.

[CherylNYC]

The really significant ones:

I met him in Junior High School. We shared some of the same girlfriends and boyfriends. (Don't laugh, it was the '70s.) After a period of nowhere to live, I moved in with him into his E. Village apartment. What misery! I got my own apartment sometime in the year before I graduated HS. Whew!

She was a student in the women's Pagan study circle I taught. I couldn't get over her until I had an epiphany while watching the sun set over the Snake Mound in Ohio during the Harmonic Convergence.

She was checking in the newcomers at a Pagan gathering.

She was a Deacon in the Metropolitan Community Church.

She demanded my attention at a post-Pride party attended by the Sirens, (women's motorcycle club), and our friends. We were the only women in the bar NOT high on ecstasy. After two years we were handfasted, (Pagan commitment ceremony), and lived together another six.

She was drumming at a ceremony/party thrown by the above mentioned attention-getting ex. We lived together four years until she was struck by a truck while riding her motorcycle to work.

She showed up at a Lesbian Sex Mafia meeting. She remembered me keenly from an early Sirens MC meeting, but I didn't remember her. She died of cancer nine months later.

She's a member of our sister motorcycle club in Boston. Can I tell you how relieved I am that she didn't die?! Sadly, she and the first boyfriend are the only exes with whom I'm still friends.

[nycfem]

Met her in college. Friends told me she was crazy and also that she was obsessed with me. Her semi-stalking of me continued and then I kind of gave in with some degree of intrigue. Chaos ensued. Got back in contact years later and maintain a light friendship.

Met her at a Butch Femme Society Meeting. First self-identified butch. Lots of sparks. She wanted to be poly. I didn't at the time, wanted much more of a traditional fairytale.

Met her through a BF personal ad. Answered her ad. Fell in love but wasn't truly happy, some issues that could not be resolved. Maintained friendship until she passed away.

Met hym through the BF personals. One fateful day I introduced hym to a femme friend, "Hey, you have to meet X. She's a vegan massage therapist just like you except she's a femme!" They ran off with each other and are still together. I don't talk to either of them. I never even received a "thank you" card, let alone a large lump sum payment for my inadvertent, highly successful match-making.

Met hym through the nyc BF community. Can't recall how. Hot sex with lots of arguing. Now we don't keep in contact but genuinely enjoy running into each other on the rare occasion.

BB and I initially met on the dash site and were in contact but no hook up. Then we happened to meet at a friend's birthday party at a karoke dive bar in Chinatown, and the lust between us was immediate. We had a rocky first six months [insert drama that I take full responsibility for] and then I made a real commitment and neither of us have looked back since (been over seven years of being deeply in love and happy).

[Fatale]

I think this thread is marvelous.

She was on another softball team. I think we were 13. I pitched and whenever she was at bat I experienced sadistic and bittersweet glee if I happened to strike her out. She said she would kiss me if my team won. It was a glorious kiss. My connection to her was ephemeral but it was significant.

I attended a girls' school. Dabbling was requisite.

I met her at a reading when our eyes happened to meet even as we were both rolling our own.

She was driving the tow truck that came to pick up my bike when I had a flat.

We both grabbed the same taxi door handle in a downpour in NYC.

I sent her a drink. She was nervous and splashed it a bit.

A mutual friend introduced us. And was then petulant when we clicked.

She was a beautiful stranger on the street and I asked her to marry me. It was a lovely six months.

We met online. I sent her on a scavenger hunt for location clues to our first face to face meeting spot.

[Dance-with-me]

Interesting thread!

Met through being students together in college.

Met as I was reading the bulletin board at the women's center in the city I was visiting.

Met when I audited a women's study class at my alma mater (engineering students don't have the time for such things!) - she looked back at me, smiled one of the nicest smiles I've ever known, then offered me some candy.

Met through mutual friends, and I was near-obsessed with her for months before she'd actually date me.

Met through our involvement with a local lesbian organization and participation at one of their annual events.

Met through butch-femme.com personals.

And now.... who knows where my next love will appear. :)

[Venus007]

How could I forget her. . .

The crazy Russian, met as prostitute 1 and 2 in a community theater production of Guys and Dolls.

She goes between "dog boarding kennel" and "at a bar"

[MsTinkerbelly]

Met him through bowling league, took him away from his wife and kids...my only real regret in life. I was 18 and we were together 4 years.

Met my ex-husband (daughters father) while at work....8 years

Met my Wife on yahoo personals...10 years and going strong

Dated a bit otherwise, but nothing major

[dixie]

Met in high school

Met at the gay bar

Met on dash site

Met on fetlife

Met on here

Met on facebook

[Sachita]

My first serious girlfriend I met while on a date with another woman. I left and she ran after me in her cowboy boots, right in front of my date and gave me her number. Needless to say I called.

The one I thought was the love of my life I met on planet out and she lived about an hour for me but we chatted online for several months before meeting.

The rest were just ships passing in the night. I met online, at small events or through friends.

[cinnamongrrl]

My first real bf...I met while hiking...and he was hunting ( I was a vegetarian...it was NEVER meant to be!) I got pregnant, we got married. Lasted about 5 years. Better friends now than when we were married....

My first GF... I think I met her either from a yahoo personal or because she made CDs...can't recall...we were off and on for 3 years...I learned a lot. We didn't keep in touch. There was no need.

There was some little dating here and there...nothing serious or consuming...

Met my kid's favorite ex (lol) on the dash site, we tried, it didn't work. We moved on. We talk on occasion.

More smallish relationships. Nothing that lingered...

Met the love of my life right here on BFP in chat! I liked how he used words. You can tell a lot about a person just by the words they use...turns out I was right. He's amazing and wonderful and all a girl could ever ask for. World without Mayan end amen <3

:moonstars:

[Teddybear]

WOW let me think not many to list but I will try

met my 1st gf in college she was older in one of my classes ad she chased me till she caught me that lasted till she passed then I spent the next 15 yrs mourning her.

I hid in a marriage in name only that benifitted both of us. I met him on a road test for my 1st driving job that marriage lasted till he passed away


had a fb for yrs it was matual for both of us.

met a pie crust femme on the dash site we r still friends. we broke up cuz i started transisitoning.

dated a few others all but 1 i still talk to and still friend with.

meet my ex wife on the dash site when she commented on a pic of mine of a fish. lasted almost 4 yrs till i couldnt take the drama and chit any more

met the incrediable Ms Cinn right here in chat when I was working a nite job at a hotel while unable to drive for a month. On a dare I drove up a week early to meet her and can now only see a future with her. God help her

[DapperButch]

24 years

Bible Study Leader in College

Through a friend

Through the above ex/bar (how was I to know a mutual friend was supposed to set my ex up with her that night when we all went out?)

Bar

Bar

Bar

Bar

aol.com dating site (pre match.com merger)

aol.com dating site (pre match.com merger)

dating site...old profile I forgot about and she contacted me

work

blind date

[DMW]

Met her at a natalie merchant concert...taking pictures of natalie merchant...
black and white even...offered to buy pics from her post concert. Got her address...

Met her after AA meeting...she asked me in for tea


Met her on bf.com

[DapperButch]

Met her at a natalie merchant concert...taking pictures of natalie merchant...
black and white even...offered to buy pics from her post concert. Got her address...



Natalie Merchant! :guitar: :hangloose:

[Mel]

Interesting list.... I'll play.

1993 - a bar..we had "run" into each other once years before as I was slipping out of her roommates room one morning..

1995 - my first wife's funeral. ( That sounds bad. We met there but didn't date for a couple of years)

1997 - church
1997 - work
1997 - the bar
1997 - a party

'97 was a phase of some kind :seeingstars: I was on the catch and release program but did have a few " special" friends"

1999 - work, recently split up ( as in some of her crap is still here). I was totally blindsided.

2010 - was re aquainted with an old flame. I was married so I behaved completely. Wife left, old flame is heating up albiet long distance and I'm interested to see what happens next.

[Dude]

bar
softball
bar
bar
AA
old school newspaper personal ad
sex addicts anonymous meeting (joking)
AA
old bf site

[ruffryder]

ohhh gotta love the internet for dating. LOL

I've met people on chat sites, b-f sites, at work, through mutual friends at college, and most current here at bfp then in person when I moved close to her. <3

[laruss]

-My ex husband and father of my children was a friend of my cousin. He went through a lot to get my number after seeing me at my cousins house. We were together 15 years.
-During my marriage I met a woman in a group I belonged to, we were together almost a year, I was willing to leave my husband for her. She wasn't willing to be the reason.
-Met at a Pagan ritual, did the LDR thing for a year before I moved to be with him. I don't regret much in my life as I feel everything is a learning experience, but that was a waste of 4 years I will never get back. He turned into a stalker when I left and then he finally moved to Australia and got married.
-Met online, were together 2 years before he died in his sleep.
Finally decided it was time to be true to myself. Death will do that.
-Met through a mutual friend here on BFP, wasn't the right time for me. We are still friends and I am very grateful for that.
-Met here on BFP, she broke my heart.
-We are both on the executive for a local lesbian organization. We are both a bit damaged right now and taking it VERY slowly.

[SleepyButch]

I met my very first girlfriend in nursing school.

My second girlfriend I met at a local lesbian bar here in OKC. We were together for 3 1/2 years.

Everyone since that point has either been from a chat site, B/F site, or dating site.

[deb_U_taunt]

longer terms relationships:

on a softball field and we u-hauled it within 2 months

at Seattle pride

hys butch sister is my bestie

[Chancie]

work
on a bus on the way to a march
a dance in NYC
a different dance in NYC
OA
b-f matchmaker
b-f matchmaker
b-f matchmaker
b-f matchmaker
a dance in Northampton
match.com
at her house
personal ad in local paper
a coffee bar

This list includes relationships that mattered to me, for a few different reasons.

[Zimmeh]

I met both of my partners on butch femme sites. The first one didn't work out.

The second partner was by chance when Hy sent me a private message and asked how were the jobs in Florida. I responded and sent my number and we started off as friends and moved in together in January 2012 and have been dating since April 2012...Hy is my one true love!

Zimmeh

[MsM]

18 yrs old Met her at a friends party, she pulled me into a closet. Accused me of flirting with her boyfriend (who I didn't know) and then kissed me. Realized then and there why kissing boys wasn't working out for me. Lasted: 1 night

24 yrs old Met her on a yahoo group. She was crazy but cute. Learned the lesson about sticking your d!ck in crazy on that one. Lasted: 2 years

28 yrs old Met her at a kinky party. She was with someone else, I was blown away by her smile. Eventually she left the other, and we were together. We were great friends, and should have left it that way. Relationship just didn't work. Lasted: 5 years

33-39 Catch and release program, mostly met them at kink events, or CM. Nothing lasting, but made some amazing friends.

39 yrs old Met my love at a munch for my local dyke leather group. She was wearing boots, and expected me to follow her to the bathroom. I didn't, but I did notice her ass. Been following her into bathrooms ever since (and still noticing her ass):blush:

[MarquisdeShey]

This is kind of interesting. A memory lane for relationship madness *s

...1996 I was in high school we met at a local YWG (she ended up married and with a baby)
...1998 A friend set us up (we were supposed to just "hook up")
...2002-2008 Softball game
...2009-2011 Roomates.com we were never roomates, but ended up getting together. should've known better

[ahk]

highschool
aol chat room
aol chat room
through a friend
poetry message boards
b.f
b.f

[Sev]

I was 15. met him when I was in a marching Girls group, I was friends with his sister.

Met him when I was a waitress in his restaurant, he was the chef

Met him in Ireland at a ladies gym, he use to work there

Married him, for the wrong reasons and left him for a woman....He was cool with that (believe it or not)

Met her on Pink Sofa:beatcomputer: and she had old photos of when she was young and made me believe she still looked like her picture....Wrong..:hiding:.

Met her when she moved into my building, I didn't know at the time that she was a famous performer.

Met her through a Mistress Friend....She was a crazy and weird and very unstable


Met her when I first came to London......Gaydargirls (yeah I know) lasted 3 years


The end:eatinghersheybar:

[chefhmboyrd]

i landed on her porch one day...
we met at an all night club...
we met at work...
we met at a football tryout...
we met through football (different one)...
we knew each other through mutual football friends (still yet a different one)...
met at Apocs's...
knew each other from football before (and was dating one of my football exes)...
met at a bar...
met at a bar (different bar/different girl)...
met through mutual friends... (now we are engaged)

[DamonK]

Interesting....

1995 -- first bf... Met at oldest brothers house
1996 -- met him at church
2001 -- met her at college
2002 -- a random pm sent to me from gay.com
2003 -- gay.com
2007 -- roommate of ex from 2002 and had been friends ever since
2007 -- above and I in LDR, him not wanting to rush it and scare me off... So I kept dating a girl from work. We remained friends after I ended it
2009 -- dash site
2012 -- it began with a pm and a revelation and a realization

[*Anya*]

I had already posted in this thread about my longest term relationship and my current GF, so will go back into the memory vault for the boys before the girls...

1st BF age 12. Made out in my backyard until my dad busted us.

Last I saw of him in the capacity as my BF, was running down the street with his two broken arms, in casts, running like a cartoon character. (Fell backwards, pre-me, lifting his older bro's, too-heavy weights, falling backwards and fracturing his forearms).

Aged 13 & 14: Donnie. Last name escapes me. Made out constantly. Skipped school a couple of times. Think he felt my right breast once.

Aged 15-17: Mike M. Remember his last name but withold it to protect the innocent guilty.

I had described in a prior post, that I had gotten poison ivy all over my back and ass after we had sex in the woods (the soft greenery, clearly, was not just leaves:|).

Aged 17-22. Tom, BF became my ticket out of my parents house. Had my two babies with him so will always be grateful to him for my girls.

Aged 22-25, after we split: Joe C. Still remember his last name too. We were engaged but two weeks before the big wedding, invitations had been sent out and all, he broke up with me. Decided he did not want the responsibility of raising my ex-husband's kids or so he said.

Aged 25-26 dated girls and guys. Decided girls rang my chimes way more and have strictly been a lesbian since that time.

:)

[homoe]

This is one of my favorite threads to read. I am always fascinated and love hearing how people have met. I’ve only had one what I would call a serious relationship. We met at work, and we ending up being together for 14 years.

[Beloved]

To put it simply: If the internet didn't exist after I finished school, my love life would have been basically non-existent as well.

[DapperButch]

To put it simply: If the internet didn't exist after I finished school, my love life would have been basically non-existent as well.

Nah...we would just all still be in the bars...

[BrutalDaddy]

Have met a couple folks from online but those were situations where I was lucky to walk away with my sanity and life.

Had made up my mind to just swear off anything remotely romantic. Was better that way.....

Then, I met her.

Wasn't even attempting to get to know her or anything, she just has a really funny tag line on her profile (she was a member, like myself, of the dash site) that gave me a much needed laugh that day I saw her name so I sent her a message to thank her for the laugh. She messaged back and well, the rest is history. That was seven or so years ago.

Haven't looked back since and sincerely grateful every day for sending that pm and for her answering it.


I Suck With Remembering Exact Dates,
Brute.

[Dude]

. Think he felt my right breast once.

:)

are you sure it was the right one?

[Ginger]

Just a reminder... "when" isn't really the point; it's more about "where" or "how" you've met the people you've been involved with.

Do you tend to meet people online? Through work? Through a hobby or an interest, like bike riding or school or ... ?

It's really interesting to read how people meet their partners.

[imperfect_cupcake]

there have been way too many for me to put in a list. that would become rather embarrassing.

when I was a teen it was through school or at the Dance Hall or at a Gig.

when I was 18-27 it was through mutual friends, gigs, house parties, events, cafes and clubs/bars

from 27 - 33 it was all on line b/f stuff with the rare pick up in a bar

34 - 38 it was online London social site events (meet n greets, event nights) and the genderqueer-dyke bar/club and mutual friends and exes (house parties), as I made them.

when my wife left it has all since been from dating sites, save the rare set up from an ex. That's about to change as I get back into things and my very few local dyke mates (most of my friends at home are straight) plug me back into the local social life.

I'd like to take the focus off on-line as I don't really trust the dating sites... social sites perhaps a bit easier. dating sites are difficult. lots of people out there on cupid and pof, but I find it very difficult to get a feel for someone before meeting. Someone's sense of grace is really the main point of attraction for me. that doesn't come through till I meet them, though occasionally it can be seen in a photograph.

[Nadeest]

I met her thru a blind date that my brother set up for me, just after I got out of the military for the first time.
We met thru mutual friends, and were together for about three years.
Met her at a bus stop in downtown Detroit. I was going to work, she was just coming home from church.

[Liam]

The majority of women I have been involved with, were introduced through friends. Work, school and online were also places I met women. My favorite was a coffee shop.

[Ginger]

Met her at a bus stop in downtown Detroit. I was going to work, she was just coming home from church.


That one feels so romantic to me. I guess that "meeting on a train/ship/etc." thing is a classic way to find love ... It's like the start of a movie.

:)

[Nadeest]

I don't know about that, but I was certainly surprised by the relationship. lol

[DapperButch]

I'd like to take the focus off on-line as I don't really trust the dating sites... social sites perhaps a bit easier. dating sites are difficult. lots of people out there on cupid and pof, but I find it very difficult to get a feel for someone before meeting. Someone's sense of grace is really the main point of attraction for me. that doesn't come through till I meet them, though occasionally it can be seen in a photograph.

What I liked about online dating sites is how quickly you can sift through people. Since I only ever dated locally, there was no need for anything to be drawn out. Two-three emails, maybe a phone call and then a quick meet. Next.

[always2late]

are you sure it was the right one?

Is there a wrong one? ;)

[imperfect_cupcake]

What I liked about online dating sites is how quickly you can sift through people. Since I only ever dated locally, there was no need for anything to be drawn out. Two-three emails, maybe a phone call and then a quick meet. Next.

I don't really have the time though. With social sites I can dip in and out here and there, talk a bit, and there's a platform for conversation. I don't want a prolonged email blah blah, but I'd like some kind of common template to start with... I guess it's because I'm just no longer fond of dating. I much prefer freindship and attraction -> shagging and friendship -> seeing someone

the dating thing I'm just finding kind of hard. chatting because of mutual friends, and have some point of mutual link makes it much easier.

I think I'm just a bit tired. I think oh ugh, starting from point zero. why can't I just go hang out with some friends I find sexy and take it from there.

I guess I'm hanging with all my old mates, I've had sex with most of my friends before, there's no "trouble" they feel a bit like family and the thought of coming home and starting up with people with no feeling of familiarity... just makes my chest sink. I think that's why I prefer meeting people through people. It's just not awkward or stiff. But then, maybe I haven't met someone with the right click. Or maybe, it's just easier to relax and allow that click when it's at a house party/dinner party/mutual friends.

I think I just discovered I hate dating... I used to love it...

[QueenofSmirks]

I just realized the last three- I met each of them at a queer community dinner/brunch/lunch. Prior to that, it was often through friends, though, like many others, I met some online and eventually progressed to real time.

[*Anya*]

I met her on a well-known, legitimate dating site.

I was only dating people that were local and ones I could first meet for coffee.

With her, I skipped my coffee first "rule" and met for dinner. (First dates, I would always meet them rather than have them pick me up in their car).

It just was serendipitous that we clicked on our first date.

[Novelafemme]

1. We met at a well known guitar shop in Rochester, NY. He was a bass player in a rock band.

2. He was one of my best friends for eleven years and we worked together. He was a big factor in my decision to leave my then husband.

3. A queer website. She also lived in my hometown.

4. The Apple store here in Tucson.

[Nat]

I personally am a virgin.

[PoeticSilence]

I met a dyke bartender at a gay bar and spent seven years trying to make that work.

I was dating a girl, and she introduced me to her friend, who it turned out would be a girl I would spend the next seven years with.

I met a girl through an online writers group at yahoo. She was so adorable and scatterbrained that I asked her to come to Nebraska and live with me. My first LDR and seven years of a very strong love. I don't have any regrets.

I met a girl through an online text-based RPG game and after two years of killing each other and being allies, we met in RL, and I knew right then she was someone I could live forever with. Seven and a half years and still going.

I've met women over the internet, in bars, through friends and by chance. I can't say one way has worked out better than another.

[Glenn]

My First: It all began when I was 18. We met when she auditioned for our rock and roll band. She had wicked long hot red hair/legs/eyes, hissed like a snake, cooked good eggs, soups and salads, and was a real good drummer too. We played around together for about seven years. ;)

My In-Between: We met at a bus-stop, and regularly dated for about a year or more. She was sweet sixteen, and I was 25. Wth was I thinking? ;)

My Last: We were innocently introduced at our local Lesbian Community Center (LCC). Together 35 years.;)

[Nic]

I met my wife at an AA meeting. We were married 21 years.

I met the woman I'm interested in at the moment at Pride in Northampton last May. It took 4 or 5 weeks before she agreed to go out with me. Since then, we've been on some casual dates and gone on a group camping trip, and spent a lot of non-date time together. Now if she'd just fall in love with me! LOL

[GraffitiBoi]

The majority of the people I have been involved with found me either online or at a show I used to perform in. I didn't realize until now that I have almost always been pursued, and not the one who has done the pursuing!

My ex fiance (the first of only two women I have ever loved) I saw at a drag show. I remember saying to a friend that I didn't care who she was, I wanted her. It was two years after I first saw her that I ever spoke to her. (I obviosuly will wait if the woman is worth it.) She wrote on a card that I wanted to take her out on a date. We were supposed to be a one night stand and ended up spending 5 mostly wonderful years together. We are very close friends now and she still means a lot to me in a non-romantic way.

The woman I currently love I met by accident online about 9 months ago when I was involved in an LDR. She had commented in an online forum about how cute my (at the time) girlfriend and I were, or something like that, and that's when she hit my radar. It may seem dumb, but something about her stuck in the back of my mind. I noticed her on and off for several months after that but only met her offline several months ago. Something about her clicked with me the first time I saw her and I knew I loved her shortly after that. It honestly has freaked me out and I am too scared to pursue my feelings since my track record this past year has not been good. LOL

[bright_arrow]

We lived on the same street, my first gf [not serious, but was my best friend] had broken up with me out of the blue and I told her this.. turned out she was bi.. We were together for almost 4 years. I really thought we had everything planned out [who doesn't when you're 16?] and still to this day harbor resentment for her sleeping with her friend to see if she 'really loved me'. She has actually tried to come back around back I laid into her and now we don't ever talk

Met him in college, moved in with him. He is the straightest man I know with the gayiest tendencies. If you met him, you'd get it. First guy I ever slept with [my other BFF guy friend makes the second - was trying to figure out if I really was gay. It was a one time thing, and I came out after.] We are total BFF's though, and he is the one who told me I "need a Daddy" to keep me in line *snort* We used to talk a lot more than we do now, but occasionally we call each other about every month or so. Nothing is off limits, can talk about anything and everything.

Stalker ex, met on MySpace. Met face-to-face at the local club, jumped in bed the next night, U-haul moved a few months later.. She had and has some serious control issues, left once, went back. We still talk, but she really likes to get under my skin and press every.single.button

Met her at work - my first butch. Showed me it was o.k. to be me. Left my gf in no time for her. Got really hung up in her for a long time. I couldn't deal with the drug use though and was trying to get the guts to give her an ultimatum, because she was as hung up on me as I was her. She up and left one day. Five years and I still don't know what's happened or where she is. Lack of closure still eats at me. Though I more worry about her dead in a ditch somewhere, though her take flight is apparently a normal thing. Still waiting for the "Hey sugah" text to know that she is somewhere.

Met him on the dash site. Dated for a year before I flew across the states to meet him. Found out some unfortunate information but wanted to try to make it work anyways. Had issues with job transfer, got a funny feeling..Called it off.

Met her on the dash site, worked through a lot of baggage, moved in after a year and a half, engaged for a year and a half then we got married and simultaneously bought a house and here I am today!

[Contessa]

1.School
2.1980's brick and mortar video dating establishment
3.TGI Fridays after work having a drink with the girls.. Stranger comes over from the bar and buys drinks. Figured he was after one of the other luscious girls but noo..twas me.
4. Online in a chat room..O.D.G. - was lucky to get out with sanity. But the sex was hot.:police:
5. Online chat room (you would think I'd have learned my lesson..but nahhh). Lasted mere months and the sex ..Well, can u say butch pillow princess???
6. Met her in my neighborhood walking my dog in sweats and NO makeup! :blush: lasted 6 yrs.


These are only my significant relationships. The rest we won't talk about.

[Bard]

ok I will give it a go...
met her in the army she floored me with her accent together broke up when she cheated on me the broke my nose back together a couple months later then 2 weeks after she was killed in a car wreck..
met her at a bar together 6 months till I came home and found her in bed with a friend of mine TWICE!
met her at a bar together 2 years grew apart
met her at the mall 4 years till she cheated
met her at the gay bar in Philly I was a bouncer at 12 years and one child.. she wanted to change me soften me it became emotionally abuseve
met her on the dash site LDR met in person twice till she found someone much richer and I found out she was a phony
met HER ( my soulmate) on the dash site talked on and off finally I asked her out
dated for 3 years then I wised up and married her the smartest thing I ever did
she is my equal my partner and I can't even think not having her by my side

OPPS I forgot My Ex Husband lol met him while walking to donate blood became freinds with my and the first GF married him one month to the day that the GF was killed in a accident soo did not work married 3 years most of that time seperated or he was stationed in Panama

[bright_arrow]

I did forget about a sorta poly/open LDR relationship :| I was young, so obv we just considered it an open relationship.

Met in The Graveyard Yahoo chatroom. He was an English major at a Catholic college in PA, long black hair and trenchcoat. After 3 years or so, he broke all connection with me. Came back a year later and told me he was a lesbian. I said whatttt? MtF. She is still pre-op (living at home, with Catholic parents). We still haven't met in person though we have been talking on-line/phone/texts for 14 years now. I hope that one day we can at least meet - we are hella good friends! Did lose contact when dating stalker MySpace gf because I wasn't *allowed* to have friends (no lie!) and we just got back in touch about a year ago after five years of nothing.

[Sweet Bliss]

Guy next door, 3 years
Mother introduced us, 16 years
Online, met real time, over same day, just took me to my limit to end.
yahoo group, almost fainted, oh ya, ended when I moved.
Introduced by friend, not so good for me, great for her

Single.

[CherryBlonde]

Question: What is this dash site everyone keeps mentioning?

[Chancie]

work
on a bus on the way to a march
a dance in NYC
a different dance in NYC
OA
b-f matchmaker
b-f matchmaker
b-f matchmaker
b-f matchmaker
a dance in Northampton
match.com
at her house
personal ad in local paper
a coffee bar

This list includes relationships that mattered to me, for a few different reasons.

I can't remember everyone on this list. :|

[Amber2010]

Usually I met through my work or friends but now I meet more and more through the virtual world of the internet.

[MsTinkerbelly]

Bump

Someone asked me how i met my wife, so I thought I'd give this thread a bump:jester:

[MysticOceansFL]

1. MCC Church
2. coffee house
3. Gay/Pride Functions

[Nadeest]

I met my last serious ex at a bus stop in downtown Detroit, believe it or not.

[Mel C.]

Online or at events that are advertised online.

[~ocean]

~ off the net ~ only 1 from the net ~

[Femmadian]

Two were at a library: one seemed to always be checking out similar books and one I kept on bumping into as I was leaving and they were arriving. Hushed conversations ensued. :reader: :innocent:
One was at a reproductive rights protest :welcome:
One was at a university-related protest :dots:
One waited tables at a restaurant my friends and I would frequent and after a series of flirtations over a few visits, they wrote their name and number on the back of the receipt. :hamactor:
Two were bouncing around the halls of the university I attended :glasses: :nerd:
Latest one was on Twitter and in a neighbouring town. She was hot so I messaged her. :p Met for coffee and coffee then turned to dinner which turned to stargazing which turned to a long walk on the beach a few hours later which eventually turned to... whatever the fuck I have now. :cupid: :flyaway:

[Cole]

I met my last ex at the coffee shop they work at.

[Orema]

A party, a brothel (long before Viagra, thank goodness), the internet.

[Queenie]

I met my husband on my 26th birthday. At the time, I was going onto a music site a, morrissey fan site. He liked my user name so he sent me a pm to ask me about it. I sent him a short pm back about my user name and that was it. Well, I thought that would be it. A few months later I saw a thread of his asking should he grow out his hair. I was curious to see what he looked like so I clicked on the thread. The moment I saw his photo I knew I was going to be his wife.

I wrote a cute post about my thoughts about him growing out his hair. I spent so long making sure my post was smart and cute. I really wanted him to notice me. It worked!

We started to talk via pm and then onto IM and then onto the phone. It was just easy with him and different. Seven years ago this week he came to vegas to meet me in person. We both fell more in love with each other that week and we both knew that what we had was the real deal with each other.

A few months later I moved to, London to be with him and thats it. I have been here ever since. I still dont know how it all worked out. But it did!

[JDeere]

I have mainly met them from online. Mostly dating sites.

[Sweet Bliss]

online, in person..... still single, lmao...

[AnAwkwardAccident]

I think everyone I've been involved with I've met online through various websites, dating websites, etc. ....*sigh*

[JRM]

2 of them by just standing there minding my own business .. Must of had a post it stuck on me that said talk to me .. 1 online

[Karysma]

Chat room... where the most disturbed individuals live. I like a challenge! LOL!

[TruTexan]

Just bumping for some folks to read.

[JDeere]

On old yahoo chat, another bf website, pof and this one I met in a Facebook group.

[Stone-Butch]

mostly through other friends.

[CherylNYC]

The really important relationships?

At school.
She was a student in my Pagan/Wiccan study group.
At NYC Pride.
She was drumming at a Goddess party my ex threw.
She came to an LSM meeting.

I've met a few whackdoodles online and will not be trying that again. EVER. I also met my last gf when she showed up at an LSM meeting, but that wasn't a particularly important relationship.

[GeorgiaMa'am]

- Through an ex-boyfriend in high school. He told me, "I know this girl who's a lesbian, and she doesn't care who knows!" He introduced me to her, and that was all she wrote. I was head over heels. It was a short relationship, but an important one.

- In college through friends. It lasted about a year and a half, but then we moved to different cities after school.

- After moving to Atlanta, in the local womyn's chorus I met a woman who had an incredibly similar background to mine. I mean, she grew up on a farm and knew how to can vegetables. We would sit on the porch and shell peas together, and then put them up. She raises chickens now. (I got out just in time - I moved to Atlanta specifically because I was tired of living on a farm.)

- My hairdresser introduced me to one very important person. My relationship with her lasted for 7 years. I was a member of her extended family - until I wasn't. Never want to do that again.

- The latest I met online, and we've been together for 14 years. It started out as a hookup, and I really didn't think it would last more than three weeks. Just goes to show, you never know.

[homoe]

This is one of my favorite threads to read. I am always fascinated and love hearing how people have met. I’ve only had one what I would call a serious relationship. We met at work, and we ending up being together for 14 years.

I now have a dear friend and what I would call a traveling companion. We met at the hotel I stay at when I'm in Chicago.

[homoe]

I now have a dear friend and what I would call a traveling companion. We met at the hotel I stay at when I'm in Chicago.


Maybe I should clarify she's a part time employee there....:giggle:

[homoe]

Maybe I should clarify she's a part time employee there....:giggle:



At the front desk.......

[Chad]

I agree with CherylNYC, the most important relationships were met through friends.

Seems more like hookups on-line.

:sigh:

[kittygrrl]

i've met girlfriends in just about every kind of venue, through friends, in bars, blind dates, group dates, by chance and yes online...online has actually been my favorite..i like to really know the thoughts & feelings w/o a facade which usually accompanies face to face encounters and it's usually a great deal quicker...as for hook-ups.. those happen everywhere..it depends what your motive is, in the first place:byebye:

[Tuff Stuff]

No longer called hook-ups but "traveling companions"...I like that term better myself.

Love all my buddies, really I do.

:gotmail:

[GeorgiaMa'am]

No longer called hook-ups but "traveling companions"...I like that term better myself.

Love all my buddies, really I do.

:gotmail:

Ohhhhh! Is that what we used to call a trick?

[Chad]

Ohhhhh! Is that what we used to call a trick?

Oh Ma'am, thank you. I thought that I was the only one that remembered "trick" with the over night bag in my car trunk.

[homoe]

Ohhhhh! Is that what we used to call a trick?


Being from the Midwest I NEVER heard 'trick' in regards to a woman!

It was simply called a one night stand, regardless if a suitcase was involved or not..:giggle:

[JDeere]

A trick is a whole nother term to some of us, depending on where you're from!

https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Tricks

[~ocean]

playing a game of tag w/ my grandson ~ we spent 2 hrs. trying to out smart each other ~ he won . lol

[A. Spectre]

How have you met the people you've been involved with romantically or sexually?


The old fashioned way of course, 10 shots of whiskey at a bar!

I keed, I keed. My blushing bride and I met on an internet dating site. If I would not have expanded my geographical parameters by 50 miles, we would never have met.

[Stone-Butch]

I met most people through friends and at the club. Good dance music, good drinks and nice folks.

[~ocean]

playing a game of tag w/ my grandson ~ we spent 2 hrs. trying to out smart each other ~ he won . lol

THIS POST WAS SUPPOSE TO BE IN "WHAT MADE YOU SMILE TODAY " oooppssssssssss:blush::blush::blush::blush::blush:

[~ocean]

I met my ex at a bar playing darts till they took my darts away cause I was hitting the ceiling ,walls, a few tables. hy bought me a drink , after that.

[nhplowboi]

Sports, friends and bars before the internet. When the internet showed up it was mainly by chat where I thought I could get an idea of the person's being. Sadly, I found out that was not always true but I hung in there and found my Bevi and 10 years later the rest is history.

[MaddieRobbie]

I've met people just about anyway you can these days - online, at a wedding, at work, at parties, through friends of friends, at the bar, at an event, etc...

I never judge how anyone met their partners - not this gal - but I find I look back more fondly at the spontaneous meetings. Two people in the same space at the same time, and if we hadn't connected, would have just gone on with whatever it was that we were doing.

You know...silly rom com stuff (haha).

[homoe]

~~~
I like to reflect on spontaneous meetings too.

The fact both of us ended up at the same place at the same time always intrigues me.

Serendipity/ Synchronicity perhaps?

[Vincent]

I've met people just about anyway you can these days - online, at a wedding, at work, at parties, through friends of friends, at the bar, at an event, etc...

I never judge how anyone met their partners - not this gal - but I find I look back more fondly at the spontaneous meetings. Two people in the same space at the same time, and if we hadn't connected, would have just gone on with whatever it was that we were doing.

You know...silly rom com stuff (haha).

My best R'ship I met at the gym,then I noticed she was the new tenant who moved in upstairs from me,at that time the B wans not in LGBT,so I got a lot of shit from friends.

But it was great and a breath of fresh air

I liked that it just happened,and was totally organic

[MaddieRobbie]

My best R'ship I met at the gym,then I noticed she was the new tenant who moved in upstairs from me,at that time the B wans not in LGBT,so I got a lot of shit from friends.

But it was great and a breath of fresh air

I liked that it just happened,and was totally organic

These are the encounters and relationships I always seem to drift back to - the organic, unplanned collision of two people in the same space physically and emotionally...and shit just happens.

I did wine service at a private charity dinner in Vancouver a year ago and just swooned over this strapping, dashing chef. One long look and a few words about the wines and I was running back to the restroom to check my lip gloss, fluff my hair, and give the girls one last adjustment into the right position.

The evening went long and we connected occasionally in the kitchen over some business (or some made up business). When it was all over, I pulled out a bottle of leftover champagne and brought it back to the kitchen to share...and no one was there. Oh well...but it turned out they were all smoking behind the house so I brought the bottle outside. No one had glasses so we opened it up and passed it around. The hot chef handed it to me and while I was drinking some of the bubbles spilled down my chin. The chef took their hand and wiped the drizzle from my chin...and into her mouth. Then, she said it tasted better that way.

That kicked off a year-long, bi-coastal, "international" (haha) relationship that in the end only lacked substance, not fire. I think the distance actually gave it more time to burn, since we weren't seeing each other too often and our differences weren't much of a challenge (I wasn't around for drama with her ex or crowding time with her teenage daughter). It was just...fun. Occasionally we'd drift into a "what if" scenario, but it was never anything serious. Seemed to me that would break our rules - what we had was always better when it was for fun, so why poke a hole in the balloon?

We still connect, mostly by email. If I ever get back to Vancouver, I might say hi...

[Vincent]

These are the encounters and relationships I always seem to drift back to - the organic, unplanned collision of two people in the same space physically and emotionally...and shit just happens.

I did wine service at a private charity dinner in Vancouver a year ago and just swooned over this strapping, dashing chef. One long look and a few words about the wines and I was running back to the restroom to check my lip gloss, fluff my hair, and give the girls one last adjustment into the right position.

The evening went long and we connected occasionally in the kitchen over some business (or some made up business). When it was all over, I pulled out a bottle of leftover champagne and brought it back to the kitchen to share...and no one was there. Oh well...but it turned out they were all smoking behind the house so I brought the bottle outside. No one had glasses so we opened it up and passed it around. The hot chef handed it to me and while I was drinking some of the bubbles spilled down my chin. The chef took their hand and wiped the drizzle from my chin...and into her mouth. Then, she said it tasted better that way.

That kicked off a year-long, bi-coastal, "international" (haha) relationship that in the end only lacked substance, not fire. I think the distance actually gave it more time to burn, since we weren't seeing each other too often and our differences weren't much of a challenge (I wasn't around for drama with her ex or crowding time with her teenage daughter). It was just...fun. Occasionally we'd drift into a "what if" scenario, but it was never anything serious. Seemed to me that would break our rules - what we had was always better when it was for fun, so why poke a hole in the balloon?

We still connect, mostly by email. If I ever get back to Vancouver, I might say hi...

I must say for me,I had no idea she was interested at all

I told my friend,the woman upstairs,keeps coming down here a lot...........DAHHHHHH

I had just got out of a 14 yr, one night stand,LOL"why is it young people wanna be in r'ships,LOL

I guess coz we knew each other from the gym,that we actually enjoyed hangin out and had heaps in common.only problem was the whole heterosexual bi sexual thing.My dyke friends didn't cope,her straight friends didn't cope,it was the 90's

Anyway,it was the healthiest R'ship ive ever been in.

the rest honestly,was just lust and should have been move on.
But hindsight has 20/20
maybe age,but now i'm more reflective,and have zero interest in r'ships,lust i would be fine,as we discussed in the other thread.
And I love long distance,I love having my space,and you have yours. And lets just shag LOL.
Sounds like thats what you had,great your still in touch.

I only just worked this out,I kinda like lust,not r'ships,not that ive had many.

except her,I make the joke."me n Jenny were like peas n carrots":)
But time moves on.