What are your faults?

[nycfem]

What are some of your faults, as perceived by you or by others? Feel free to clarify, if you want, whether this is something you've been told by others or whether it's something you came up with by yourself.

This is a listening thread so please do not respond to posts by others.

Also, please try not to disguise compliments as faults, tell where you think your faults stem from, or justify or add a "but" when describing a fault.

I don't think of this as a negative exercise. I think it shows an ability to be humble, reflective, and aware. It's hard to acknowledge and let stand one's weaknesses for the world to see, and I think it takes courage and is worthy of respect. I think it's an intimate and vulnerable way to get to know someone else.

Here are some of my faults, just off the top of my head:

1) I've been told that at times it's hard to bring up any minor criticism of me or issue of conflict with me because I tend to react unnecessarily strongly about it, crying and wanting to go over every aspect of the issue. People close to me have said that it creates an effect of needing to "walk on eggshells" or a desire not to even bring up a small issue because I will turn it into a big deal.

2) When someone else brings up an issue of conflict or I do, I've been told that I ask a lot of questions at once and very detailed and that it feels like being on trial with no right answer, that it's exhausting.

3) I'm often controlling.

4) I take on too much with the wish to please others at my own expense.

5) I'm overly anxious.

There's more but that's a good start :)

[Ciaran]

I can be incredibly intolerant of those whose perspective on life or belief system differs significantly from my own.


I tend to be very judgemental - both of myself and others around me.


I'm not good at communicating my mood - a lot of people, unless they know me well, think I'm constantly in a bad mood.

[Talon]

I can be emotionally distant, which can hurt people's feelings.

I can become distracted, and that can cause people to feel neglected.

My standards can be too unachievabley high, at times...for myself as well as others...and this causes undo pressure.

I'm not comfortable with showing my feelings...or talking about them.




*Interesting thread idea, nycfembbw.

[meridiantoo]

My faults include, but are not limited to:

1) Indecisiveness (I think? Maybe? Not sure? Well, okay, sometimes) :blink:


2) Prone to stick my head in the sand like an ostrich when conflict surfaces until I am ready to deal with it :bolt:

3) Emotionally reactive/Defensive :explode: :overreaction: :furious:

[meridiantoo]

I can be incredibly intolerant of those whose perspective on life or belief system differs significantly from my own.


I tend to be very judgemental - both of myself and others around me.


I'm not good at communicating my mood - a lot of people, unless they know me well, think I'm constantly in a bad mood.


:goodpost:


Oh, you mentioned 2 others I (conveniently) omitted:

4) Intolerant of people who do not agree with me :getout:


5) I can be judgmental also :kettlepot:

[Gráinne]

*I'm very quiet and don't show feelings often.

* I can be hassle-adverse and avoid conflict, even if when this is a bad idea and I need to act.

* I can be introverted to the point of being a hermit. (Introverted itself isn't a fault, but tending not to hold up friendships is).

* I've been told that I can't walk through a room without leaving some trace of my presence. My home life can be very disorganized without effort, while I'm the opposite at work. That one's getting better, though.

[Gráinne]

I'm not good at communicating my mood - a lot of people, unless they know me well, think I'm constantly in a bad mood.

Me also, probably partly from upbringing, and always had problems getting my facial expression to match what I actually felt. I tend to smile too much regardless of my real mood, though.

[~ocean]

I look threw rose tinted glass' too much
very sensitive
emotional and emotionaly needy at times when i am feeling down
quiet
defensive when i feel threatened
passive to the point where i let ppl walk all over me
fiery
I like to kiss alot
my own worst enemy

[StrongButch]

1) Im very strong and want others to be the same way 2) I was spoiled as a child and still am 3) Im stubborn. Theres more gotta think awhile. (lol)

[nycfem]

When someone suggests a different way of doing things, my initial reaction is to become very defensive of why that would not work and why things should stay the same. I'm initially jarred by having to consider a change and express it by becoming verbally aggressive.

[deb0670]

i trust first, 100% then ask questions later.
i am too emotional
i do not think that highly about myself.. much

[Ciaran]

When someone suggests a different way of doing things, my initial reaction is to become very defensive of why that would not work and why things should stay the same. I'm initially jarred by having to consider a change and express it by becoming verbally aggressive.

That's a good point. I'm not sure if it's necessarily under the banner of verbal aggression and it can as often be in written form as verbal, but I will often use innocuous language in a calculated way to express disdain at at viewpoint I disagree with.


My instinct is often to look for the worst in people.


I tend to react uncomfortably rather than with compassion when people are upset.



I can lose patience with people very quickly and appear dismissive.


I often put work interests in front of friends.

[macele]

sometimes, not all the time, i don't stand up for myself. and sometimes there's a build up. if i don't speak up and then finally do (may not be about the same issue), ... i could possibly show a little bit of anger. i don't want to hurt others feelings. so i suffer. it's not a good thing. NO! i need to say that more often.

i am probably in the worlds worst category to procrastinate.

insecurity. i have been dishonest because i don't want to seem weak. because i don't want to look like i don't know what i'm doing. age has helped with this.

laughing at the wrong times LOL. like right now. someone told me one time that i hurt their feelings. i didn't mean too. it's a habit. i'm working on that. maybe.

there's more!

[BBinNYC]

1. I can be conflict averse, trying to walk away instead of engaging. I have to force myself to stay in the room and engage.

2. I don't reach out to people, including friends, the way I once did.

3. This relates a bit to #1. I have trouble giving people (mostly my staff) criticism. I tend to emphasize the positive more than I should in some cases.

4. When I get really angry, it can be almost paralyzing. I have trouble seeing any other perspective.

BB

[BowtiePrincess]

I am stubborn to an extreme.
I trust very little.
I want most everything my way.
Im very close minded depending on the subject.
Im a spoiled brat.

[thedivahrrrself]

hahaha.... listing all my faults could crash your server!

[TheMerryFairy]

I crave touch, intimacy and while it's not necessarily sexual - sometimes people can't handle how sexual I am.

I am flirty, friendly and I crush on people all of the time which can cause people to become jealous or to get the wrong impression of me.

I am really bold. I have a Scots temper and while it usually comes out constructively it can be intimidating for some, especially upon meeting or after I have been with somebody for awhile and I become comfortable sharing a big part of my emotional interpretings.

I take a lot of pride in myself and in my work and sometimes it gets mistaken for being self centered

I can focus intensely on an issue or I can become distracted when I get too overloaded with thoughts or emotions. It's been said that people don't know how to open the lines of communication with me.

I can become emotionally distant when I am feeling moody

I don't always remember dates but I am great with names and faces

I have a gypsy soul. My concept of space is always changing and if I am in one place longer than I feel is right for me, I feel confined. This scares people because a lot of people feel secure being in one place.

[Smiling]

1. I put up emotional walls when people get too close. [I'm going to tell you that I am gritting my teeth while I write this, BTW! lol]. That was difficult for me to even admit in public!

2. I'm flaky sometimes and ultra-responsible other times and I cannot always accurately predict when the flake-out is coming, lol.

3. Sometimes I expect people to just "get" what I am thinking without my having to say it and when they don't it silently annoys me. To expound upon that, I don't always speak in complete thoughts. That really isn't fair!

4. My face is way red now, lol.


I'm not all bad; just a work in progress. :)

[TheMerryFairy]

I am goal oriented but money hardly ever comes into mind when I think about accomplishment or the things I want.

I am stubborn

Sometimes I really enjoy the company of others and other times I would prefer to do separate things

I sing very badly to the cheesiest radio songs

I am very open so sometimes I will just expect somebody to know what I am feeling or thinking since I don't always have the temperment to talk about things.

When I get flustered, it's usually obvious

I am not the femme who only has dresses and skirts in her closet. Once or twice a year I like to wear a tie or a button up shirt, even if it isn't a "mens" shirt.

I don't need to go out to have a good time but I don't always like to stay in either. I need a really good balance between getting out to socialize/let loose and staying in to feel relaxed with friends.

Any partner of mine needs to be a fan of John Hughes movies, even moreso than Tim Burton films. It might sound silly but I have been with way too many people who have criticized my love for 80's classics. I do not see this as a fault. Is that a fault?

[StrongButch]

1) I would rather take pictures then hang out with people 2) I research everything 3) I am a perfectionist when it come to my photography 4) I want coffee and a kiss first thing in morning 5) I clean my house everyday hate a dirty house 6) My boots always need to be polished

[BowtiePrincess]

This just pointed out by someone else........I am bossy ( My explanation...if I ask something of you that I do not mind doing (dont leave your shoes in the middle of the floor) and I even put a please on the end of it just pick your shoes up
I prefer to call this TIDY

[JustBeingMe]

I've been told that my need to "fix" things for others is an overwhelming aspect of my personality. I own this one for sure. I am working on toning that down .
I come across as demanding at times when I am not actually, it just comes out the wrong way i say things.
I see myself as a selfless person, always ready to help anyone in need if I can truly help them.
I've been called a doormat for my past relationships I've been in and I OWN this one too. I've let people in my past walk all over me. I'm learning to change this about me.
I am constantly looking at who I am and trying to figure out if there is anything else I notice about myself, that may need to change.
I am not able to focus enough to even read a sentence and have it make sense in my own mind so I can keep reading. It sucks too. I'm constantly trying to work on this issue.
I'm sure there is more, but my brain is on overload from the yelling at me my sister did tonight. If I remember anymore then I will come back and post herere.

[little_ms_sunshyne]

This is a great thread idea :)

Ok here goes *deep breath*

1) I tend to shut down when I am hurt. It is me defense mechanism. It is as if though I go into somewhat of a survival mode. Before that moment, I am 100% open, the second I get hurt, it is like a light switch. It is incredibly difficult for me to get back to normal.

2) I work too much! I mean really! I take on too and neglect myself. I have to work hard at making time for me. My past relationships have suffered some because of this. Learning how to actually leave work at a decent hour, and accept that the work will be there in the morning.

3) Forgiving is easy....forgetting has always been quite hard for me.

4) I am my toughest critic. I beat myself up for so much.

5) somedays I feel fierce and beautiful...most days, I don't even like to look at pictures of myself. I struggle with my self esteem.

6) I can be a cynic.



This is just to start....I will be back!

[little_ms_sunshyne]

Thought of another....

It is hard for me to accept any type of help even if it is minor! I remember a friend of mine offered me hys hand when we were walking down a rocky path. I refused it. I don't know why I do things like that! Even something that little!!!

[TheMerryFairy]

I can be really competitive, especially when somebody is bragging.

[JustBeingMe]

I've been told that I am too emotional to be butch. That I over emote. wtf is that shit? anywho.......
I've been told that how I show my emotions, usually crying, is over reacting.
Do I see these as faults, no but in a past relationship she did and I think it's because she's never dealt with anyone that showed such raw emotion, she usually shut down.
I see them as being human and being able to express pain or deeply felt love, something soo deep it's like it runs through my veins because it's soo very very deep in my heart.

[Miss_J]

I believe in people, even when its proven they cannot be trusted I still try to believe there is good in there somewhere. This can be to my detriment often.

I like things done my way, don't ask, don't suggest, just DO.(grin)

I often choose to stay at home in my comfort zone instead of hanging out at/with friends.

[Soft*Silver]

I have been told I dont clean the house as well as they expected. My fault is that I dont give a rats ass about this. I use to clean my houses until they were spotless. That was when I was more able bodied and not hurting all the time everywhere. My attitude is a fault as well as not keeping up the house like I use to. I am too damn old and too damn much in pain anymore to care if there are dishes in my sink overnite.

I shame easily. Boy does it piss me off now when I realize I am accepting someone else's shame.

I have a wicked tongue. I do not hold back. I am 85% of the time easy to get along with, and kind and sweet. But god help you if you snark at me. The more you deserve it, the more you get it.

I procrastinate.

I am disorganized.

I dont eat well. I have started some bad eating habits..I eat boxed things, like rice a roni. (high salt and chemicals), lots of sugar, aspartame, caffeine and high cholesterol foods. My Dr just scolded me for this.

[KCBUTCH]

I have a huge need for structure and the leads to frustration if I feel disorganized
I expect a lot of myself
I can be selfish (but catch it quickly)
I can be really direct
I can easily get caught up is things that pleasantly distract me and then find myself retracting when I come down from the rush having over spent my time and resources.
I shut down when I am trying to support someone I care for.
I have yet to master my own compromises (I still find myself at times trying to adjust my life to get what I think I need from someone) example: wanting to get in better shape because maybe then she will respond to me the way I hope.

[spritzerJ]

I can be very literal and miss spontaneity.
I don't play "the game" even when I know it needs to be played just to prove a point. Which is taken as difficult.
I can avoid what I don't want to do or am nervous about doing by doing everything else. Even when what I am avoiding is the priority item. I'm working on this one.
I am sparse with my encouraging feedback to adults I am work with or that I am in relationships with. Again working on it and making headway!
The expectations I have for myself are high, very high. And I have them of others too. Oh especially of folks in positions of power/authority/leadership.
I am slow to adjust to changes in plans and directions.
I have a sharp tongue and quick wit that is imbedded in my typical speech and missed by many or taken as serious (when clearly I am being facetious or sarcastic).
I am disorganized or overly focused on organizing. I don't seem to balance the parts of this well.
If I am overwhelmed nothing is getting done until a bolt of clarity occurs. Might as well wait for it cause you can't rush it.

[Elijah]

I am an isolater.

I have difficulty making friends.

I tend to expect people to have the same standard as I do and am often disappointed (Mostly in a work setting).

Sometimes I think I am tragically unique.

What do you mean the world doesn't revolve around Me???

Sarcasm is my second language.

[Blue_Daddy-O]

I have none. Absolutely not one.

[TheMerryFairy]

When I haven't been able to get out in awhile, I REALLY embrace the freedom LOL

[Hollylane]

I drop the F-bomb in inappropriate places (like work), frequently.

I interrupt people too much (while on the phones at work, this is necessary, a lot. Not so, with loved ones and friends).My mind is going 100 miles a minute, every moment that I'm awake (and probably while I'm sleeping too). I tend to anticipate (mostly correctly, but not always) what someone is trying to tell me, and I make them feel less valued by finishing their thoughts, with my words.

I have a constant need for instant gratification. I want answers, and I want them now.

I speak my mind, often, and sometimes without realizing my bluntness may anger or hurt people. Not intentionally, I just speak before thinking sometimes, and assume that what I am saying is as clear to the person I am speaking to, as it is to me. This leads to a lot of explaining.

I hyper focus on things. Sometimes, this keeps me from moving on to other tasks/responsibilities/activities that need my attention too.

Sometimes, I talk myself out of accomplishable goals.

I am the queen of procrastination, I seem to like speeding around and doing things at the last possible second. When I take on tasks at a reasonable pace, I tend to get distracted easily by other things.

I can be overly kind to others who have been extremely hurtful to me, out of a sometimes misplaced wealth of empathy for what they may have experienced in life.

When someone that I care about, or have respect for, thinks I have done something, that I know I have not done, and it is a mean or hurtful thing that they have assumed I am guilty of, I try to explain, but end up in a torrent of tears/sobs, because I can't believe someone that I care about, or who truly knows me, would think I was capable of such a thought or action. This is followed by me clamming up, and shutting down. I have a tendency to then try to blame myself for their assumption, which takes up a lot of emotional energy. Eventually, this leads to an "ah ha" moment, when I realize I am doing that co-dependent thing my mother does, and I am feeling guilty for their thoughts and ideas about me, that have nothing to do with who I am, or any action of mine. This moment sometimes takes way too long for me to get to.

I write/type run on sentences constantly, and I am stubborn enough not to care (See above), because it is also the way I express myself in person, and no one ever complains about my punctuation then. :)

I am stubborn, resistant to change, and my mother has often told me I would be willing to debate with a stop sign, if I felt that I have a valid argument. Sometimes she appreciates this about me, and says she admires my backbone, sometimes not so much.

[Cailin]

walling up, and pushing people away before they have a chance to hurt me


overly considerate to the point that it debilitates me (i.e. i need help moving, but dont want to inconvience anyone cause i know they have their own lives and have their own things to worry about and i dont want to ask for help and add more on their plate, so i wont ask and then they get mad cause i dont ask for help and i feel bad for not asking cause then i feel like i made them feel bad.. vicious damned cycle)


still learning emotions, and often been seen as aloof.



and many many more....

[Ciaran]

I often hold grudges long & hard.


I find I have the propensity to take a strong dislike to certain people, even where they have not shown me any ill will or harm.


My instinct is often not to respect other cultures or backgrounds and I have a difficulty embracing many forms of cultural assimilation.

[TheMerryFairy]

As strong and independent as I am, sometimes I can be needy especially when I am feeling a little lost. That doesn't last long before I am back to being in the saddle and on my merry fairy way.

I can also play the other role, being the one to be there for somebody else even when I have my own things to concentrate on.

[Ciaran]

1) I would rather take pictures then hang out with people 2) I research everything 3) I am a perfectionist when it come to my photography 4) I want coffee and a kiss first thing in morning 5) I clean my house everyday hate a dirty house 6) My boots always need to be polished

Strong
Please don't think I'm being confrontational in anyway as I am not meaning to and, furthermore, my query is not only for you but some others who have posted on this thread.

However, I am wondering if some of these are necessarily faults? Rather, some appear to me more as characteristics - for example, I would guess most people want a coffee and kiss in the morning (of course, whether they get either is another matter) and I am not sure how it is a fault, per se, unless there's an additional context or layer?


In her post, Cailin used the word "debilitating" in relation to one of her faults and I've been thinking of faults within that context as, if it's not debilitating in some way, I'm not sure it's a fault?

[starryeyes]

<---- messy!! I can't help it! Clothes belong on the floor... Lol :)

[TheMerryFairy]

When I am in procrastination mode I can become easily addicted to activities. For instance the forums or watching youtube cat videos. I am hoping this fault regulates as I work towards other goals.

[meridiantoo]

6) I fight sleep like a child, afraid I will miss something

[Ginger]

I have a lot of self-defeating behaviors.

One of these is that I tend to see the world in extreme black-and-white, which makes me very hard on myself and others, and perpetuates a bleak world view that makes it hard for me to feel hopeful.

Example: I quickly go to "never," as in, "It will never get better," and this makes it difficult to assess situations that really are hopeless—I don't trust my judgment and talk myself into giving it more time.

On the flip side of the same behavior, an extreme black-and-white perspective compromises my judgment when things are going great, and prevents me from being cautious when warranted.

It can also make me demonize or glorify people unwisely, though ironically, while I demonize myself, I rarely glorify myself.

I'm working on this one. Just being conscious of it, loosens its grip on me.

[Jean_TX]

What are my faults? Well, I have some characteristic behaviors that I feel need improvement, and I have some characteristic behaviors that annoy others. The two sets of "faults" don't necessarily coincide. The "faults" that I've listed below apply only to personal relationships.

From my perspective, my "faults" (characteristics that I feel do not always contribute positively to my personal life) are
- I am too trusting, almost to the point of being naive. I take people at their word. I assume that people's intentions are good.
- I am too tolerant of other people's hurtful behavior and do not immediately call out them on their thoughtlessness.
- I am not assertive enough.

From the perspective of others, my "faults" are
- I avoid confrontation. (I agree that I do this, but I disagree that this is necessarily a fault.)
- I am too analytical and objective. (I slightly disagree.)
- I am not aggressive enough. (I slightly agree.)
- When I am angry, I react by withdrawing rather than expressing my anger and forcing immediate resolution. (I agree. I tend to stifle my anger and withdraw. When the cumulative anger reaches a certain level, I explode - which usually appears to be an over-reaction to the latest thing that angered me.)

[PinkieLee]

Faults, yep we've all got them. Well, let's see what I've got going on...

Being the people pleaser that I am, I have a very hard time telling people NO.

I am the world's best cheerleader for others, but I am my own worst critic.

If someone upsets me, I very rarely ever tell them. It leads to hurt & resentment... and if I would just learn to speak up for myself a lot of these feelings could be avoided.

[TheMerryFairy]

I talk too much.

[MsTinkerbelly]

I have a lead foot...vroooommmmmmmm

[TheMerryFairy]

When I love, I love completely and I will do anything to keep it safe and strong.

[KCBUTCH]

I think I get blinded by my own Love for someone, meaning I love so deeply I overlook my own needs at times by believing the story I tell myself about why they are not being met.

I am learning I have a real need to have my life undisturbed. with my Ex she was gone for years for work and I had what appeared to be the security of her Love but I was very content in my life living it with a great deal of independence since she was gone.
-I truly enjoyed when we were together too though, maybe I just got used to my own company being enough...

I think ALL THE TIME about EVERYTHING...

I think my way into and out of lots of things

I can be very impulse when I get excited about something or someone...

[MsTinkerbelly]

My faults are way too many to name. :(

My mantra is "I'm a Bitch, but I'm not YOUR Bitch" ...gives you some idea ;)

[Dude]

my first thought was : I'm a virgo , I don't have any. snort! ;]

I hate making mistakes.
I will double check things (sometimes) to the point of then making a mistake.
This happened today and I was so disgruntled with myself (eyeroll) there was really nothing left to do but laugh

[Amber2010]

I take people at their word. If they say they are your best friend I expect them to love me just the way I am faults and all.
I am a talker. I can keep a conversation going but sometimes I forget that it is better to stop and listen.
I get hurt easy. I need a stronger sheild over my heart.
I may forgive but I never forget.
When I become a friend I am there for the long haul.
I am not perfect.. just me!

[TheMerryFairy]

Sometimes my instant reaction to things is to try to stop change from happening. I know better than this, my life is hardly ever easy and it's always intense.

[deb_U_taunt]

This isn't very healthy behavior:

I don't want to talk for hours or at all sometimes.
I don't pick up the phone.
I can be in a quiet space for days.
I don't ask for help.
I will be take the offense and put you in defense.
I get bored easy and will create change just for the sake of change.
I am cheap. I am not talking about not willing to go out for a $200 dinner cheap, but CHEAP! I fix and repair and buy secondhand. Odd, no issues with buying a great gift for partners/friends/family or giving to charities, but its really hard to buy myself something nice and deserved.
I am not attractive, but don't work at doing anything different or care to change it. (this does not mean I don't shower or take care of my health, means I don't spend time with makeup etc).

[BowtiePrincess]

My mind is constantly going. I am always thinking about 20 things all at once.
I refuse to settle. (this pointed out by another I call it being kind to me not a fault)
Im emotionless at times ( if I dont trust you then you are not worthy of knowing how I feel by the look on the face or my body language and I would sure never show you my tears)

[femmeInterrupted]

So this thread had me thinking my thinky thoughts.

I got caught up somewhere in breaking down personality faults/flaws vs character faults/flaws.

This is a big deal for me, because I’m a character gal, meaning: Matters of character are far more interesting and important to me, than matters of persona, or personality.

Thusly, locating flaws means I’m sorting through not only something that may be unpleasant or difficult to admit about myself, but that I a sort of have a hierarchy of faults.

Flaws (my own or in others) that come from the realm of person or reaction I can usually handle well...sort of like, you say tomatoe, and I say tomato.

Flaws or faults that I sense or deliberate come from matters relegated to character, not so much. Those ones make me turn, and often walk away.

With all that said:

Here’s my (dirty) laundry list

Somewhere along the way, I’ve internalized messages about worth: I’ve not given myself the self care I’ve needed, constantly taken on too much, and have a vastly annoying knee-jerk response to please.

This leads to the self-judgment and anger at myself for ‘allowing’ through my decisions and actions, harm to come my way. Harm in the shape of exhaustion, harm in the shape of inequality in relationships, etc.

Although I grew up in Jewish/Catholic households ( long story!) I’m intolerant of religion, and religious beliefs. I get easily frustrated and my filter slips. I don’t want to hear about anyone’s imaginary friend, and I don’t want to be cajoled or threatened with brimstone and damnation if I can’t see said imaginary friend, also.

I live in my head. A lot. But not always in my body. I know what I know, but don’t always act on that knowledge—the end result of this is essentially self-destructive or self-sabotaging.

I tend towards manic, full tilt boogie, completion ain’t my thing endeavours, and I need a form/source of ‘measurement’ for it to feel ‘real’ or ‘good’. Like: if I go for a walk, I set a goal. 8Kms. 10kms. 15kms ( I’m part goat or camel). Until I HIT that mark, it’s not a walk that ‘counts’…. If I find something exciting or interesting, I’ll devour it, but eventually, like a new trinket that has lost its luster, all new interests end up like misfits on the island of broken toys. Musical instruments, exercise equipment, etc.

[Blade]

Impatience
I'm OCD about some things
Perfectionist

[deb0670]

even if You hurt me, i mean really hurt me, i will not retaliate. i will still treat You with respect and take care of You to the best of my ability
i see good in someone or something and no matter what, i try my best to bring that out of them.. even if it is just .01 percent and the other 99.9 percent is downright evil
i think very little about myself
i am too much of an open book.
i am too trusting.

[Kent]

I'm very impatient.....

[grenade]

Where to begin...

I'm Moody. Vain. Pouty. Perpetually bored. Hard time focusing. Immature. Slightly meanish. Rarely satisfied. Shopaholic. Messy. Obsessive compulsion. Anxious. Cry baby. So much more.

[VintageFemme]

How much time do you have?

Moody, insecure, untrusting, anti-social, immature, obsessive compulsive, spendthrift, spontaneous, crybaby... should I go on?

[Kätzchen]

I have a few faults which have evolved over time. Some of my faults actually help me and other faults leave me in a state of emotional distress or impair my ability to act in immediate ways.

One “Fault” that can be helpful: I seem to have an ability to identify difficult-to-name behaviors. I have been told by others that I seem to have a ‘gift’ for identifying things of this nature, but what others may not realize is that it is not a gift: My ability to do this finds its roots in having suffered on-going issues of abuse in my own family (growing up) and also in a small handful of romantic relationships. I would say that the downside to this ‘gift’ or ‘fault’ is that it slows my ability to develop close relationships. In some cases of particular clusters of difficult-to-identify behaviors, I create an extremely wide berth of distance between myself and these particular individuals; because while their sets of behaviors can be very scary, I take great care to make sure that my personal sense of safety and well-being is least likely to be violated. But really, I see it as an upside to building safe and healthy relationships.

Faults of mine that are not so helpful: I can be rather quiet. I enjoy quietness within my own life at home, but I tend to temper the quiet side of life with random occasions of spur of the moment, over the top, loud and proud. But as I age, I seem to have to give more serious planning to the unquiet side of life. I tend to want it in small doses, repeatedly at times and I’ve been told that it’s annoying when I want to be quiet, rather than the opposite of quiet. I can be rather moody. Moody as in, I come across as rather a spoiled brat at times and if grapes are not peeled the right way with me, more than likely my spoiled side might get a bit out of control. My son’s have seen me this way before and usually call out my spoiled side; but also, depending on my mood, I have been known to make a mountain out of a mole hill and make it incredibly difficult to scale the precipice of my desires. If I experience fear, I will shut down immediately. And once this happens, it takes tremendous effort on my part to dislodge myself from what ever has caused me to become fearful. Sometimes I am able to help myself over come fear in a relatively fast way. Other times, it can be weeks to months – one time it was ten years; but time and distance helped in that particular case of fear.

[Dude]

I have a lead foot...vroooommmmmmmm

when pulled over
I growl at :police:

just this week
<enter motorcycle cop with lights-a-blazing>

I said to myself " please , control your face "
and for the very first time evah
I got a warning without an enormous ticket

it's not an attitude problem
it's a face problem? ;]

[TheMerryFairy]

Not being able to get out of my own head sometimes. Or the opposite, getting hung up that I can't figure out my own thoughts.

[Spirit Dancer]

Impatience
Hate being late for anything
When angry or upset i need space
Faults and flaws i own them, they make me who i am.
Perfectly flawed with faults.

[dixie]

Well....this could take a while so I might need to break it down into installments lol

- slightly egotistical/vain
- sometimes selfish
- feelings hurt easily
- pouty
- bossy
- harsh
- absent-minded
- sometimes lazy
- jealous
- picky
- obsessive
- dramatic
- overly excitable
- impatient
- anti-social
- moody/cranky
- distant
- disillusioned
- potty mouthed
- nosey
- extremely distrustful
- impulsive
- awkward
- sometimes talk too much, sometimes not enough...either way I usually say the exact wrong things

[KCBUTCH]

Impulsive
THINKS THINKS THINKS
can be too compromising
rationalizes others faults away

[CA_BabyCakes]

*Sometimes I expect too much from people.

*I lack a filter and find it hard to not say what I feel.

*Stubborn.

*Impulsive.

[meridiantoo]

7) I'm a shopaholic. Pretty things that catch my eyes and products seducing me with promise of a younger appearance get me every time.

[Luckydwg07]

I'm an extremist and then I'm not

[Girl_On_Fire]

Hmmmm....


I'm very literal
I get confused easily
I'm clumsy as all get out
I'm extremely emotionally sensitive
I either don't notice you or I imprint on you like a baby duck :blink: (I'm working on this)
I shut down and "disappear" when frightened or overwhelmed
I'm easy to agitate
I don't heal, I scar (physically and emotionally)


I understand some of these are just sort of character traits but they can sometimes cause conflict with others and be perceived as faults.

[~ocean]

~ I do know exactly what my fault is ~ gets me in trouble alot ~

[fever]

The brain of a Gemini never stops. As you can see, I am up late again tonight.

I lend money very foolishly sometimes, and that is a fault, because sometimes my children or even myself have suffered because of it.

I adore younger butches. There is an energy of a guy around 42 - 45 that fascinates me and draws me in. (However, butches in that age category go after femmes in their 20's). So, call me foolish rather than faulty. lol

I live on femme time, or have been told that is what it is called. But, for the love of me, can't find that chapter in the femme manual. I may need a prodding now and then, but maybe I just enjoy the prodding? :seeingstars:

I procrastinate. I do believe it is bedtime...........

[Daktari]

Depends what day it is...:|

Character defects and faults fluctuate depending on so many variables.

[peachy]

When I'm upset I lose all control and swear like a navvy. I get very foul mouthed and unladylike and launch into a tirade of insults, but it's just a front so no one will see what a soft little kitten wrapped around your finger I will be with the right word or a smile from you.

Basically if you get me swearing at you it means I REALLY like you lol

[Gráinne]

I realized in my counseling appointment today that given a situation in which I need to act, I'll get all convinced I'm right, have great insight into situations and what I should be doing, have determination...then start second-guessing, doubting, and wibbly. I started doing this a lot in my marriage, and it just became a bad habit.

It's probably first cousins with my dumbing myself down and clarifying every statement or action I take.

[little_ms_sunshyne]

Sometimes I just can't say the things my heart wants to. My heart is more compassionate and forgiving but my head is stubborn and makes me put up a wall. I withdraw then. I could sit there and wrestle with my thoughts for what feels like hours. In the end, outcome is the same.I become temporarily mute and thus appearing as if though I am an ice princess. I really wish that was not the case.

[MsM]

1. Impatient
2. Capricious
3. Domineering (the boy says I'm dominant, not domineering. I say connotations aside I'm both)
4. I tend to want to reward myself with food. I'm not a dog, and that's a terrible habit. (almost done with this flaw, worked hard on it for 2 years now)
5. Vulgar
6. I expect too much of myself, and am then too hard on myself when I fail.

[Ascot]

I tend to set pretty high standards for myself, and I am apt to let them slosh over on to other people. It's easy for me to lose sight of the fact that not everyone can or even should be expected to meet them.

In my excitement to share new ideas and knowledge it is quite possible that I sometimes come across as pedantic. What can I say? I was a Humanities major as an undergrad.

As someone else mentioned, there's my whole bouquet of issues with authority. No doubt they play a large role in my being self employed.

[TheMerryFairy]

If I am at work and we are busy, I cannot turn the other way to go on lunch or my break until we have taken care of most of the customers. While this may be a good thing in most cases, it can sometimes result in my internal clock being thrown off.

[s0litude]

If I am at work and we are busy, I cannot turn the other way to go on lunch or my break until we have taken care of most of the customers. While this may be a good thing in most cases, it can sometimes result in my internal clock being thrown off.

I get hyper-focused as well. Made me hell-on-wheels when I was supervising in call centers because I was so dedicated, and it showed. BUT... I also learned that you'll get better results, perform better, feel better, etc. if you also tend to your own needs... oh, like EATING and take a moment to get some fresh air.

Just a thought. ;)

[TheMerryFairy]

I get hyper-focused as well. Made me hell-on-wheels when I was supervising in call centers because I was so dedicated, and it showed. BUT... I also learned that you'll get better results, perform better, feel better, etc. if you also tend to your own needs... oh, like EATING and take a moment to get some fresh air.

Just a thought. ;)


I am happy you realized this!

Don't worry about me - I eat quite enough (even if chocolate makes up more of my diet than it should), I get out walking and love to be outside for activities AND I always make time in my day for self- care rituals. Self care is honestly one of the most important things to me and it is not always physical. Taking time for emotional and spiritual connection or grounding is also very essential.

I think work is just my way of letting all of my creativity come out.

[meridiantoo]

I procrastinate....

[Teddybear]

boy this is something I have really been thinking about lately. I know that I have some no matter what i say.

1. Im like a bulldog with a bone when I want to know the answer to a ? I have been told I dont know how to let things go. That maybe true however to me it feels like Im not worthy enough to know the truth. Which just makes me want to know even more.

2. I work too much. however I know one day I may not be able to so I feel you get it while u can

3. I havent realy learned the art of tact. I tell it like I see and I have a hard time NOT saying it.

4. I expect whom Im with to be able to talk to me about anyhing and everything. I have had it and I have not. I perfer to have it and when I dont It eats at me.

5. I know I have more so this isnt the end of the list however I dont want to make myself sound like someone who is really hard to get along with Im not or atleast I dont think I am

[willow]

I poke bears.

[s0litude]

Hmmmm,... what are my faults? How much space do we have on the servers? This could take a while. :)


I "care" too much. I try to save everyone I love / care for even to the point of not considering my own well-being
I am much too analytical. I analyze everything and try to read between the lines. What's really bad; however, is that I automatically jump to the worst possible scenario and sometimes cannot "shake it off", don't realize that it's not the most likely answer.
I am too quick to forgive; I allow people to hurt me and take advantage of me because I don't value myself enough. It's hard to offend me, but I am fiercely protective of those I care about and am quite familiar with the concept of "putting my foot in my mouth". (Wow, this is starting to sound like therapy....)
While people don't really scare me unless I let them get too close, I allow situations to intimidate me or procrastinate in the things I really want to see or experience. I should be bolder.
I sometimes "shut down" when I really should be more open about what I am feeling and thinking. I have to really trust someone to "let them in".


This could take days....

[BowtiePrincess]

I am so hard headed I will not admit that I cant accomplish something no matter what it is. I am well aware that at my height and weight I have less of a physical ability than most ppl , however I feel like I have the determination and brain power to make up for it. This being said, I needed to move a tractor wheel and tire yesterday. Those things are massive. I moved it however, I ache all over and Im pretty sure I broke my finger. So for today I will say that my big bull head is a fault because my body doesnt like me right now.

[s0litude]

I poke bears.

You, Darlin', are a braver soul than I! LOL! Thank you so much for giving me one helluva laugh to start my day.

:rrose: Nicholas

[TheMerryFairy]

I stay up far too late, sometimes denying myself sleep so that I can go over things in my head and sometimes it is not even related to myself or personal situations. I never used to do this and I think it is about time that I took value in my routines again.

[Luckydwg07]

Restless... I think to much a lot of the time.

[TheMerryFairy]

I do not get scared all that easlily but trust me when I do, I am hard on myself.

[Gráinne]

I hate uncertainty. I like life when I'm planned, when things are absolutely known for the next six months, and when I can define who and what I am.

So, of course, the Universe decides I need to change this (and I do). My life fell apart and not one area, not one, is certain. Sacred cows I'd believed about myself have been tipped. It's like someone took a stick of dynamite to everything. It's been that way for the last six months or so.

However, uncertainty and even crisis can mean great growth and change. So, I've been trying not to freak out or complain when life isn't doing what it should be doing, according to moi, and just rolling with it or actually inviting uncertainty to come and visit :). I've been starting each day with a kind of prayer: "More change, please! Bring it on, life!" And it does. This isn't my natural inclination; not my anal retentive, overly planned way, but god, do I feel alive. And maybe that's far more important.

[MissItalianDiva]

Depends on the day....and some days there isn't enough time to list them all lol

[TheMerryFairy]

Tonight I couldn't keep my foot out of my mouth. I am not proud of that.

[deb_U_taunt]

Tonight I couldn't keep my foot out of my mouth. I am not proud of that.

Its all good. I chew on mine all the time. I have learned to have friends with thicker skin. :eek: lol

[TheMerryFairy]

Its all good. I chew on mine all the time. I have learned to have friends with thicker skin. :eek: lol

I am completely admitting it was my own doing and that I should've been more respectful to this particular friend.

[~ocean]

~ you can borrow my ray bans ~ but don't touch my rose tinted glass' ~

[TheMerryFairy]

I can let off steam and vent for hours, when it really needs to happen.

[Ginger]

I can let off steam and vent for hours, when it really needs to happen.


I don't see this as a fault, unless the other person doesn't want to hear it and you vent anyway.

[TheMerryFairy]

I don't see this as a fault, unless the other person doesn't want to hear it and you vent anyway.

I have been told it is a fault because once I need to get it out after weeks of not being able to find the right outlet, it comes out. It isn't so much that the other person wants to hear it as it is super intense.

[princessbelle]

I haven't read this thread but when i saw the title a thought came to mind.

Sometimes our greatest assets are our greatest faults as well.

I am a caretaker. I'm good at it. I'm a nurse, a mom, a friend and i try to "make it all better" for anyone around me. That is an asset.

It is also a fault. I get too involved, i worry too much and i can overstep boundaries if someone is in need if i'm not careful. I also can be taken advantage of quite frequently.

I am a very optimistic person. I see the good. I feel the good. I live for the good of people. On the flip side, as a fault, i tend to poke my head in the sand and don't see the obvious. Keep hope when things should be let go of.

To me, life is about balance. Good and bad in all of us. If we see the glass 1/2 full, it's great and something most of us try to do. But without the other part being 1/2 empty....

it would just be a glass of water.

How boring is that.

[Queenie]

My biggest fault is my shyness. It has taken so much from me over the years. The older I get and my sweet husband have both helped me kinda over come it. Yes, I am still really shy, but its not as bad as it was, say ten years ago.

Other faults of mine: I have a hard time letting people in. I have been told I am a hard nut to crack.

I smoke way too much. That is a fault, right?

(Going to call my sister to see what other faults I may have..)

[midwest chick]

thinking that self-imposed social isolation is protective, not sometimes, but ALL the time...

Not sure if I'm all that shy, or just afraid of people.

Smoking.

Taking too long to think about things, when I should be talking about them, or acting on them. Unless I'm at work, and there's an emergent situation. Or my children need something. ?? Form of procrastination??

and I'm with Belle on this -- As a nurse I care way too much, and even personally, I can't leave that nurse at work (follows me everywhere) which is both a strength and a weakness.

many, many more, this one feels like peeling the layers from an onion...

[Sweet Bliss]

Pushing against the tide to reconcile.... aka :deadhorse:

[Ginger]

I have been told it is a fault because once I need to get it out after weeks of not being able to find the right outlet, it comes out. It isn't so much that the other person wants to hear it as it is super intense.

Ah, I see what you mean.

[TheMerryFairy]

Not being able to enjoy downtime to physically heal - I start to feel unproductive or useless and then I push myself more to prove I can still do it.

I know, I need to learn how to rest when I am not in control :P
I think if it wasn't for these projects and my deadline, I would be a lot more easy going about this.

[TheMerryFairy]

Even though I am patient, sometimes I try to take on more tasks to try to get things happening faster. Usually it ends up setting me back

[ruby_woo]

I can be shy.

I like to stay up later than I should.

I like to eat way to much chocolate.

I'm hard on myself.

I find it hard to let go of feelings, good or bad.

I sometimes take things personally, when I don't need to.

[TheMerryFairy]

I can be shy.

I like to stay up later than I should.

I like to eat way to much chocolate.

I'm hard on myself.

I find it hard to let go of feelings, good or bad.

I sometimes take things personally, when I don't need to.

I can relate to all of that - this week specifically, the chocolate.

[ruby_woo]

I can relate to all of that - this week specifically, the chocolate.

You should see the giant bag of Mini Eggs that I've been plowing through this week. It's ridiculous.

A friend just bought this three foot box of Cadbury chocolate biscuits and said I could have half, I'm waaay more excited than I should be lol.

[CXanderRun]

I'm judgmental

My timing is horrid

I become bored with everything very quickly

I'm unable to communicate with others

I never learn my lesson

[Angeltoes]

Where to begin...I struggled with an eating disorder for so many years and that in itself I don't consider a fault, but...the root cause of the illness remains. There is the passive-aggressiveness. I used starving myself as a weapon against my mother, but kept the anger to myself. I still can barely tolerate confrontation and would rather subtlety show people how I feel than communicate. Another flaw (which is related to the first) is lack of trust. I'm strangely torn between an almost giddy, overwhelming love for humanity in general and not really trusting any individuals except my kids. I'm very cynical which I partially attribute to growing up poor in the middle of Manhattan and experiencing a lifetime of betrayals and disappointments that I held on to for way too long. I never felt safe...what it takes to feel safe I still don't know, but I was always fighting this looming feeling of danger. I still struggle with that even though Boise, ID is far from scary. I'm quite paranoid about being hurt or used or tricked. Lack of trust led me to believe that life is a hustle. In other words, I have been somewhat of a user in the past. I've been very fake. I've pretended to love and like when I knew I didn't. I've blended in and allied myself with people I secretly despised all to gain the thing I thought I could not provide myself with...security. This went on until the day I couldn't stand it anymore and wondered what kind of person am I to do this? After I berated myself for awhile I realized that I made misguided decisions because I thought I was fighting for my life and I was trying to escape a past which was very painful and traumatic. I was wrong.... however many good things came from my mistakes. Then I thought it's never too late to change. So long as you have a breath in your body anyone can change at least in their heart and spirit. You can't redeem yourself with everyone, but you can forgive yourself. So slowly I'm easing my grip and learning to live in the present rather than the past. That's the only way to rid myself of the most debilitating flaws I have.

[JAGG]

Hard headed.
Judgemental
I speak very directly. It rubs some people the wrong way.
High standards for myself and others sometimes too high .

[~ocean]

~if you push me too much ~ I'll push back as I walk away ~
~ don't tell me I need something I don't ~ I'll tell u what u want to hear so u will shut the hell up ~
~ I like to flirt and when I get your attention I walk away ~
~ I get too quiet when I should be saying what I'm thinking ~then it's too late ~
~ no matter where the hurt comes from ~ I put a wall up ~ till I have it figured out ~
~ if you bring to the point of tears ~ I run ~

[psykftm]

I elaborate too much

when I'm angry I can get apathetic to the needs of others, or
I expect everyone I come into contact with to know what I'm going through without having told them

I don't really know how to handle criticism

I tend to speak figuratively, so I can be hard to understand

A friend bought me a worst case scenario book, I suppose trying to tell me something lol

I rely on others to figure out who I am/rely on labels

I always tend to see the darker side of life

I don't like to ask for affection when I need it

[dixie]

I cuss too much, but usually don't care.

I am picky about food. (Although there is an actual reason for this, but I don't usually talk about it, nor do I know exactly how to fix it even though I would like to.)

I tell bad/off-color/gross jokes. I have an odd sense of humor. I use humor at the wrong times or in the wrong ways, to try to cover up my own feelings, no matter the situation or subject matter.

I am sometimes too shy and awkward. (Sometimes comes from my social phobias, sometimes comes from nervousness that is caused by good things...either way has a negative effect.)

I lash out at people when I am hurt/angry/not feeling *heard*.

I don't always know how to communicate my feelings until it is too late and it boils over into anger or hurt feelings.

If I am hurting, I want to hurt others. (Emotionally, not physically.)

I have serious issues of self-worth that need to be worked on.

I try so hard to be perky and cheery, when in reality, I am a very unhappy person. I just really don't like for people to know that, because there is nothing worse to me than the look of pity on someone's face.

I do not love myself, but rather, loathe myself on a level that would scare most people. (Another thing that needs to be worked on.)

I know my faults, most of them anyway. But I do not know how to fix a lot of them. Or am afraid to try, because I am afraid of failure. Which is a fault in itself.

[Ascot]

I set a very high bar for myself and then expect others to leap it with me. I know it's unfair, but I find I'm not willing to lower it.

If, for some reason, any reason, I've perceived someone as ignorant, dumb in a way that indicates they have no desire for continued growth, I tend to summarily dismiss them. I cannot stomach that.

I eat way too much chocolate.

[Amante]

It's weird - my gf arrives in two days for our longest visit ever (2.5 weeks, which will include Meeting the Parents), and a friend's very recent and awful breakup has me obsessing this evening about my faults that are going to make my gf crazy once she finally admits that I'm not perfect:

~ I am a terrible procrastinator, not about everything but about many very key things
~ I am extremely skilled at practicing avoidance with things that I really really need to do, but just don't want to - and if I'm embarrassed that I put it off so long, I'll avoid it even more.
~ Neatness, especially with regard to things like paperwork, is a skill that I put up there with walking on high wires: Clearly some people are capable of it, but I can't fathom how I ever could be, it just seems so impossible.
~ Oversharing and not knowing when to shut up: I never use just 50 words if I can manage to fit in 500
~ Major issues with Imposter Syndrome in my professional life
~ I have ADD which is a little out of control and contributes heavily to a lot of these
~ Somewhat of an addiction to being online, which is something I really do want to address

[puddin']

i'm a clean freak.
i hoard a bit, too.
i have to have a fan on when i sleep, even in winter.

[WingsOnFire]

My major one is being too emotional... letting things hurt my feelings too easily... not being able to take things in stride better... sigh...

[Enchantress]

I tend to talk over people. But, not because I'm attempting to be rude. Instead, I just have so much to say, and it feels as if my mind is way ahead of me. However, I am working on this. So, in that case, it's not really a fault any longer, is it?

If there is a cake in front of me, I must eat the frosting. I always cover up the spot though. And then, go for another area (don't judge, it's not nice). I wonder if there is a 12 step for this issue?

I steal Halloween candy from little children's candy bags. : \

If I have any other faults I simply can't think of them at this moment :eyebat:

[wahya]

I believe I have a bit of adhd..
I can talk too much
I lose things
I can be too affectionate
I used to have a short temper but I have learned to tame it.
I smoke with something major( bad) happens in my life.
I used to be a slob. but I took control of that.
My daugher says I don't always have a filter. (workin on that)
I better stop here..lol

[DJ Bear]

I don't ask for help.

Not loving myself. I finally "like" myself and I'm working on loving myself.

Going into my head and not staying in the now.

I am my toughest critic

Not assertive enough

I act first and afterwards think it through. Like grabbing 2 leashes on big dogs and not thinking that they might just pull me off my feet, which they did.

I forget my limitations and still think I'm in my 20's, then I'm hard on myself when I fail

I have traveled a long way these past few years making positive physical and mental changes. I am always striving to be a better me.

If anyone ever says life gets better or easier with age, run, they're lying through they're fucking teeth.

If anyone ever says that you are never too old to find love, listen to them, they really know what they are talking about. :cigar2:

[Allison W]

Life-destroying, all-consuming sloth.

[Velvetkitten]

I believe I have a bit of adhd..
I can talk too much
I lose things
I can be too affectionate
I used to have a short temper but I have learned to tame it.
I smoke with something major( bad) happens in my life.
I used to be a slob. but I took control of that.
My daugher says I don't always have a filter. (workin on that)
I better stop here..lol

Too affectionate:blink: I don't think that's a fault....

[PurpleQuestions84]

:canoworms:Im fat

[Happyfemme]

I sometimes feel the need to put others before myself.
I can be a bit of a workaholic.
I am not very spontaneous but I would really like to work on this.
I might over analyze a situation.
I am very independent and sometimes shut others out as a result.
I am very private about certain parts of my life even with my family, friends and coworkers however I am an open book with someone if I am in a relationship with them.

[TheMerryFairy]

I misplace things, I can overanalyze when I am trying to understand something and if I am uncomfortable/nervous/confused , I can't always communicate as well as I can when my head is clear or when I know exactly how I feel/what I am thinking.

[Velvetkitten]

I speak before I think sometimes
I can be jealous(have got a whole lot better) but she still rears her ugly head from time to time
I can be demanding and bossy(think that's the Taurus in me which is why I need a "strong hand")
I can give to much of myself to others

[~baby~doll~]

Oh uh, *tries not to faint*

Let's see,

I am called a doormat. I am it is my nature but I really need to grow a backbone when dealing with others outside of my close family.

I am over emotional and spend much of my time crying over ant little thing.

My opinion counts for nothing. You someone says I am wrong I guess I am. I cry.

I am terrorized by compliments and run from them. I am never worthy.

Our house is spotless but I can always spot the flaws.

I will do anything to keep from hurting someones feelings, even to the point of backing down when I am right which I never am.

I should stop now dinner needs to be done by 5:15.
Hugs

[Allison W]

A friend of mine showed me this the other day and said it reminded him of me: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hybristophilia

I didn't argue too hard. I'm pretty sure that in this case, that qualifies as a fault.

[~baby~doll~]

I crush on everyone and get lost in this mental love affairs.

I attach very easily.

[Allison W]

I crush on everyone and get lost in this mental love affairs.

I attach very easily.

I've been there. It's pretty shitty. Do you especially attach to people who were there for you at a bad time in your life or who brought positive change to your life?

[~baby~doll~]

I've been there. It's pretty shitty. Do you especially attach to people who were there for you at a bad time in your life or who brought positive change to your life?

I think I attach harder to them than anyone. I get like glue, clingy. My brain runs through relationships and loves. Sometimes it's like sick.

[Ascot]

Today...crabbiness.

[Apocalipstic]

The Adult Children of Alcoholics Laundry List covers many of my less than favorable traits nicely.

14 Characteristics of an Adult Child

These are characteristics we seem to have in common due to being brought up in an alcoholic household.

1. We became isolated and afraid of people and authority figures.

2. We became approval seekers and lost our identity in the process.

3. We are frightened by angry people and any personal criticism.

4. We either become alcoholics, marry them, or both, or find another compulsive personality such as a workaholic to fulfill our sick abandonment needs.

5. We live life from the viewpoint of victims and are attracted by that weakness in our love and friendship relationships.

6. We have an overdeveloped sense of responsibility and it is easier for us to be concerned with others rather than ourselves; this enables us not to look too closely at our own faults, etc.

7. We get guilt feelings when we stand up for ourselves instead of giving in to others.

8. We become addicted to excitement.

9. We confuse love and pity and tend to “love” people we can “pity” and “rescue”.

10. We have “stuffed” our feelings from our traumatic childhoods and have lost the ability to feel or express our feelings because it hurts so much (denial).

11. We judge ourselves harshly and have a very low sense of self-esteem.

12. We are dependent personalities who are terrified of abandonment and will do anything to hold on to a relationship in order not to experience painful abandonment feelings which we received from living with sick people who were never there emotionally for us.

13. Alcoholism is a family disease and we became para-alcoholics and took on the characteristics of that disease even though we did not pick up the drink.

14. Para-alcoholics are reactors rather than actors.– Tony A., 1978

[Allison W]

I think I attach harder to them than anyone. I get like glue, clingy. My brain runs through relationships and loves. Sometimes it's like sick.

I've had the exact same thing happen to me more than once. One of them I pushed away because of it.

[Yard]

Very honest and candid response.

[girllikeu2]

I am a big jerk. I am not even ashamed about it.

[Vivacious1]

1) Stubborn
2) Bitchy
3) Bossy
4) OCD
5) Over anyalyze everything!
6) Jaded
7) I take in strays
8) I am very hard on myself, others

[Tuff Stuff]

I want to be there 24/7 for my family,my lady,my two baby chihuahuas,my two baby kittens and I CAN'T! :sigh:

My fault i have to work

[Wrang1er]

I take too many naps.

My jokes aren't as funny as I think. (the horror)

I tend to be a slob when single.

I don't always communicate well.

Also, I procrastinate.

and and and...

[MissItalianDiva]

I take too many naps.

My jokes aren't as funny as I think. (the horror)

I tend to be a slob when single.

I don't always communicate well.

Also, I procrastinate.

and and and...

Umm I beg to differ you are perfect the way you are AND the right woman will see what a great catch you are. People who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones bacon bits :)

[WingsOnFire]

Too many to name but I'm learning to forgive myself for them and move on to overcoming them... So that I don't live with regret again...

[WingsOnFire]

I take too many naps.

My jokes aren't as funny as I think. (the horror)

I tend to be a slob when single.

I don't always communicate well.

Also, I procrastinate.

and and and...

Umm I beg to differ you are perfect the way you are AND the right woman will see what a great catch you are. People who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones bacon bits :)

I have to agree with MID.... I have spent too much of my time thinking I'm no good. I know I am not perfect but who is?

So if your a slob maybe you will meet a girl who would think it cute to tidy up while your not looking to help you out.

Communication.... Yeah I hear you on that. We could all use some help on that front...your not alone.

Procrastination? Well maybe the person you meet might want to make plans and help you keep them.

There is always a possible positive outcome to a negative thought. I have to remind myself of that sometimes too lol.

Don't be too hard on yourself.

[Wrang1er]

I have to agree with MID.... I have spent too much of my time thinking I'm no good. I know I am not perfect but who is?

So if your a slob maybe you will meet a girl who would think it cute to tidy up while your not looking to help you out.

Communication.... Yeah I hear you on that. We could all use some help on that front...your not alone.

Procrastination? Well maybe the person you meet might want to make plans and help you keep them.

There is always a possible positive outcome to a negative thought. I have to remind myself of that sometimes too lol.


Don't be too hard on yourself.



Thank you! :)

[Wrang1er]

Umm I beg to differ you are perfect the way you are AND the right woman will see what a great catch you are. People who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones bacon bits :)

You are sweet to me. :)

[MissItalianDiva]

You are sweet to me. :)

Shhh dont ruin my reputation of being a hard ass lol. Not sweet it's true.

[tygr_grrl]

nothing like a rude awakening I've redeveloped a death grip lock on old baggage ....even the stuff I thought I let go of. And then it turns around and bites me on the ass when I 'm not looking. Luckily, I know that the old stuff doesn't serve me anymore.

Learning letting go is not a one time deal. It requires regular practice and patience with myself (and others). Accepting all of my not so-charming faults and making amends are also part of my process as I muddle through. Recognizing everything will eventually passes, even this.

[SleepyButch]

I tend to keep things inside instead of voicing them when I'm upset. I need to learn how to not be afraid of the consequences because whatever will be, will be.

[wahya]

1.That I believe all people are decent.
2. I trust too easy.
3. I play my music WAY to loud. lol
4.I sing terrible. lol
5. I eat way to fast

[afrcnqueen]

emotionally defensive/reactive
facial expressions don't always match what I feel
quite Stubborn
I haven't always been honest because of being insecure and not wanting to appear vulnerable/weak ( now I say fuck it!! tell it no matter what)
Very sensitive
very quiet at times
Haven't always stood up for myself (when I do I feel guilty)
haven't always loved myself as much as I deserve to be loved
I procrastinate
I have put others' needs before my own (friends and family)
I am my own worst enemy

[Kätzchen]

My faults:

Terribly sensitive, sweet, focused, indispensably... charming, when the occasion calls for charming decorum.

I am direct in my style of communication, until I go 'commando' (meaning, a subtle indirectness).

I put myself first, not because I am selfish, but because I care about treating and giving myself the respect I deserve to have on a consistent basis.

I am quiet by nature, but interact with others reasonably well.

I have been told that my resting face is not exactly a beautiful face, but on the other hand, I've also been told that my smile makes up for my flawed faults.

I am not perfect at all but I a content with my own brand of human perfection.

[JDeere]

I am too OCD or as it should be CDO lol

I am overly trusting and nice to a fault

I am loyal to the wrong people

I am very blunt where most folks take it as being mean

[homoe]

I'm anal when it comes to neatness and order! I like a place for everything and everything in its place!

[Amulette]

Sigh, I tend to view the world through rose colored glasses. :rrose:

[JDeere]

I'm anal when it comes to neatness and order! I like a place for everything and everything in its place!


You are OCD!!!! Welcome to the club!

[homoe]

Thank you then..lol

[JDeere]

Thank you then..lol

You are welcome hahahahaha

[Gemme]

As I age, my tolerance for bullshit severely diminishes.

And my filter malfunctions more often than I would like.

The two things above might be related.

[C0LLETTE]

My only fault, and it's really tiny and barely noticeable, is that someone as fabulous and wonderful as I am, shouldn't be as humble as I am.

[afemmenatalie]

Faults? You're kidding, right? :D

[Orema]

- Impatient
- Control freak
- Dismissive
- Stubborn

[Blade]

Trusting to readily

[RNguy]

1. I'm OCD
2. B/C of #1. I only see things as black and white.
3. I maintain complete control of every aspect of my life.
4. B/C of #3 I operate on the fight or flight response quickly.
5. As I age , I have no tolerance for putting up with nonsense.
6. I will never freely give trust to anything or anyone . Trust is something that can take many years to get from me.
7. I never forgive nor forget if I have been lied to. I take grudges to the grave.
8. B/C of #1 I fixate on the smallest things and will go to the depths of hades to prove a wrong or a right.
9. I am a Pitt bull daddy and way to overprotective.
10. My coping mechanism is to seclude , wall up , shut down
and bolt if I think I am going to get burned . Which would
fall in the fight or flight category.
11. I over analyze alot of things.

[oboejive]

Being stubborn (I'm a Taurus)
Being too perfectionistic
Being disorganized (in an organized manner as everything is in piles, and I know where everything is at)
Spreading myself too thin at times
Rejection issues

[Sammy583]

1. I have lost too many people in my life (adopted, then lost few close family members to death)
2. Bc of number 1 I have a fear of losing people or something happening.
3. I can over analyze things.
4. If I get hurt seriously or feel like I'm about too I tend to fight or flight. My recent relationship hy broke things off with me during which time hy said he was never in love with me (to hurt me), than we got back together he said he never meant it however I couldn't get it out of my head and ended things. Now I'm thinking I didn't fight hard enough.
5. I'm sarcastic
6. I'm hard headed

[Tuff Stuff]

:badcook: I've been told I use too much salt..i luv salt :bbq:

[Miss_J]

I think there are times that I have unrealistic expectations. I tend to treat people with courtesy, respect and caring. In return I feel people should treat me the same and its a huge disappointment when they dont. Huge..

[C0LLETTE]

I am not particularly introspective...annoying to some...a life saver to me.

I tend to find amusement in just about all of the "human condition"...annoying to some....a life saver for me.

[Daisy Chain]

These are some of the ones I am more aware of and also the ones that I make an almost constant effort to address with some success I hope....

I can hold a grudge

I can be selfish with my need for solitude at times

I over analyse and over think

I am distrustful and suspicious which can make me distant and watchful

I have expectations of people

I dont always listen to my gut instinct and make the same mistakes again until I finally learn the hard way

I try to cover all bases at all times and get frustrated when I cannot

I find it hard to accept that someone else can handle something for me as well as I can myself or better, I can take self sufficiency to the extreme

I can be very stubborn

I can shut loved ones out when I am processing hurt which in turn hurts them

I can be very outspoken at times but then there are times when I refuse to engage at all

I used to want most things on my own terms

I am very much my own harshest critic !

Daisy { a work in progress } :bouquet:

[MsTinkerbelly]

I worry too much about everything.

[Shystonefem]

So many...

I trust waaayyyyy to easily

I have a hard time saying no because I don't like to hurt other people.

I don't express myself often and when I do, I can be determined. Lol

I forgive too easy. There are many times when I will just not remember when someone hurts me. But... if you are on the short list and you have really done something thats hurts me bad, I will never forgive or forget.

I am not OCD. My house us tidy but not immaculate.

I can be ruthless when it comes to righting a wrong....

If only I could use my genius for good.... lol

[Talon]

Perfectionism......(thanks Dad) 🙋

[Chad]

I am very stubborn, I will not ask for help and usually I will not accept help when it is offered.

That is all that I can think of.

[puddin']

i work with folks in recovery (mental illness, addiction, abuse, etc.), so sometimes a weekend bender is what's needed. (not healthy i know, but sometimes it'll cure what ails ya!)

i am fastidious about my laundry, yet not so much so about general house cleanin' :blush: (though i do tidy up)

i can be a bit narrow-minded at times, yet love when i'm challenged to think outside the box

i add no salt to food, yet heaps o' cracked pepper goes on ALL food i eat

[Gayandgray]

Oh gee, where to begin?? I have a real hard time trusting people, I'm very stubborn, I'm a cleaning freak, I've got OCD and can't stand a messy house! LOL I clean every day! I will hold a grudge forever (but I'm trying to work on that), I'm overprotective of my spouse since she is sick, I worry over everything, I let myself get super stressed out, I over analyze everything. Guess that's it?:koolaid::koolaid:

[Angeltoes]

I'm introverted to the point of shutting people out until they think I don't care and then they go away. I tend to worry a lot and obsess about goals and problems. I think if I make room for someone in my life, chaos will ensue, everything will fall apart, and no one will be there to pick up the pieces but me. I guess that means I'm not very trusting.

[homoe]

Jaded & bullheaded:seeingstars:

[JDeere]

Severely insecure
Too nice
Too forgiving
Too laid back

[Ophirik]

After falling in love, I almost never fall out of love; to this day, my heart starts racing (or hurting) when I meet certain women, even though we have not been in touch in years

Started transitioning 10 years ago, but still feel that there's something "wrong" with me; it affects all of my relationships

I do not believe good things said about me

I tend to keep "a safe distance" emotionally from people

I'm ashamed to cry in front of people; it makes me feel very weak & I hate being weak



Great thread; Thanks. Hard to read & hard to reply.

[RockOn]

- tendency to cut and run, accept my losses

- when I have had enough, I do "aloof" very well (counselor told me about that years ago)

- intolerant of inconsiderate people (loud, rude, obnoxious, etc.)

- the passive-aggressives annoy me tremendously, I tend to want to pull a verbal fight out of them :( ... deeply ashamed of that one

- I was trusting to a fault years ago, now I have no trust resources left, I used them up ... wish it weren't true but today I always think I am being lied to (even when I am not)



okay, enough for now but I am sure there are lots more

[girl_dee]

i wear my heart on my sleeve, i need to keep it in my pocket

[homoe]

I'm to jaded...................

[AmazonDC]

I work entirely too much and forget skmetimes to take care of Me... need My grl here for that part.lol

[Kätzchen]

I think being cynical or jaded is a pretty nice 'fault' to have around, some days.


<<<<~~ somewhat cynical, somewhat jaded. 92 percent sweet and thoughtful (my other equally troubling 'fault').

[Mel C.]

I have a low self esteem which leads to being easily offended. Sometimes being offended leads to lashing out. Lashing out leads to feeling guilty and beating myself up, which causes low self esteem and the cycle begins all over again.

[NavyButch]

I trust way to easy and quickly- absolutely a fault- and something I work on constantly.

[Logicaly]

My confidence isn't always what it should be, making social interactions very hard for me some times. I have had a long struggle with social anxiety, it has much improved but it is always there, holding me back in some way.

[akiza]

some friends said that i'm distant true but i call that i'm introverted and shy and not wanting to talk much;defensive and angry true too but i've got reasons to be like that friends males who like to tell me stupids love declarations wtf? judgementals homophobic youngs in my high school yes,not nice because i refuse boyfriends no fuck buddy,dreamer,silencious and don't show much my feelings but emojis are nice lol ^^ when i exprime myself on line i've maybe forget others things ^^

[Soft*Silver]

well, I still have denial that I am physically limited, so I dream up projects to do and then need help finishing them. And sometimes there just isnt someone to help finish them so I will push myself to do it and end up hurting myself.

I use to be very athletic and buff...then the car accident happened and I gained weight, lost muscle, developed weakness, and battle balance issues. It makes me VERY angry to this day, even tho its been a decade since the accident

[girl_dee]

i tend to want to run and exit before i get hurt, and have missed and nearly missed out on some great connections because of misplaced fear

[Glenn]

I smoke so much that anyone who lives with me, including me, will probably be dead in a year:cigar2:.

[cathexis]

Cynical, distrusting, get scared often then lash out, wound too tight requiring major surgery to loosen up, a hermit, smoke, too fat, out of shape, didn't age well (ugly for the past 20 years), hide from people, push people away when they get too close, and low self esteem. Want anymore? Sure I could think of 'em.

[Stronghealer]

too many to name

[Stronghealer]

too many to name


procrastinator,love to hard,impatient with myself and others at times.

[gotoseagrl]

~ Being fearful of history repeating itself sometimes & of things in general
~ Worrying too much about what other people think
~ Being gullible sometimes even when I shouldn't be
~ Being more shy than most people
~ Trying too hard at certain things
~ Too passionate
~ Right-brained which fights with OCD of my left brain
~ Hypersensitive & tend to hyperfocus on certain things
~ I keep my running shoes on

[Bèsame*]

my mouth doesn't engage with my brain

[Gayandgray]

I tend to give my friends the shirt off my back if they need it, yet when I'm the one who needs help they are always too busy. I think I'm too damned giving.

[IrishAmazon]

I am overly afraid of judgment.

So shy that just the thought of speaking to anyone because I want to makes me not only turning very beet red, and then turning tail, because no I can feel my heart jumping out of my chest.

I won’t talk about anything that actually has value to me. If it’s good it’s because it/you may leave and not come back, no matter how much I want you to know I won’t tell. Instead I will give you some other honest but much less personal complement. If it’s bad it is truly bad and I need to not be weak and deal, the worse it is the more I will regress from everything and everyone.

Someone told me quite a while back that I should speak less so people don’t know how stupid I am, I have yet to bounce back from that. I am afraid he was right.

[girl_dee]

i should come with a warning label.

[Kätzchen]

I tend to think for myself: sometimes I think quickly, others times it could be a spell or two before I'm ready to settle on a reasonable answer. I like to take my time, if I'm not sure. :rrose:

[Femmewench]

Procrastinator
Smart aleck - although I don't view that as a fault most of the time, I know others do occasionally.
Stubborn
Impatient
There's a lot more I'm sure.

[AmazonDC]

I am too nice. And I do so much for others and forget about Myself..

[homoe]

You are kidding right?....:giggle:

[girl_dee]

i should come with a warning label.

maybe a few warning labels ..............

one would be that i can be bold when annoyed and that can put people off sometimes.

[WolfyOne]

I am a BIG procrastinator and that's just my short list :|

[Deborah*]

I've been told I over analyze things and 'can't see the forest because of the trees' (meaning I notice the details more than the big picture).

Deborah

[LOQUI]

Opportunities to grow you meant?!

Hmmm lets see...I can be a stubborn over thinker who also happens to be very intuitive -this combo can be very helpful at times-...


"Nothing is real or a lie; it all depends on the color of the glass you're looking through."
-Unknown (at least to me)
:byebye:

[JDeere]

Im an overthinker.....

[Kätzchen]

o O ...... So many I try hard not to reveal too many of them because some of my best faults are the best tools in my proverbial caché of tools..... :eyebat: :balloon: :blush:

[Chad]

I take people at their word.

This is a fault because it garentees heartache and disapointment. I think that it is better to have no expectations of people than to believe what you are told.

This came true again this weekend, I had plans with a family member then he canceled. Then he texted me that he went to the event without me anyway.

[clay]

Hmmmm.....:|

[JDeere]

I always think the worst of things
Im a bit selfish

[Gayandgray]

Apparently I have a TON here lately.......

[nhplowboi]

PROCRASTINATOR!!!!......as our 2016 tax returns are do!

[JDeere]

I trust too easily
I am way loyal to a huge fault