Things you should never say on a date.

[deb_U_taunt]

Things you should never say on a first date.

"Wow, you look soo much like my ex!"

[deb_U_taunt]

"Don’t Google me."

[imperfect_cupcake]

Pretty much most of the things I say.

[Nat]

"I don't believe in tipping."

[cutiepie]

Pretty much most of the things I say.

:blink: Sounds like you would be a fun date. A little trouble doesn't usually hurt too much. :police:

[SleepyButch]

“I’ve never dated someone less attractive than I am before.”

[deb_U_taunt]

"Can we stop by my mamas house on the way? I need to get some money."

[Nat]

"I hate to ask, but my ex needs $50 for gas money..."

(it happened!)

[macele]

"Can we stop by my mamas house on the way? I need to get some money."



i think i should say this just for the hell of it LOL. too funny. just to see the expression.

[Gemme]

"I forgot my wallet. You got this, right?"

Yup. It happened.

[girl_dee]

"sorry i have just got to see who is texting me:

[deb_U_taunt]

"I forgot my wallet. You got this, right?"

Yup. It happened.

Yup I dated her too.

[deb_U_taunt]

"sorry i have just got to see who is texting me:

cells on a date UGH

[Violette]

"I just have to make a phone call, you don't mind, do you?"



:fastdraq:

[weatherboi]

"i hate reading"

total turn off!!!

NEXT!!!

[*Anya*]

"You are really attractive to me, I am not attracted to thin women".

:blink:

[girl_dee]

*my ex this and my ex that*

true story

[weatherboi]

"i am not political"

this made me want to poke my ears out!!!

[Gráinne]

"You look so nice, I didn't recognize you".

That actually happened, but it wasn't on a date but meeting a friend. I laughed, because I knew what she meant (new blouse) and it just came out wrong.

[Sweet Bliss]

Give me your leftovers, I'll eat them for lunch tomorrow. :blink:

[SleepyButch]

"I'm sorry. I did not have time to shower. How badly do I smell right now?"

[SleepyButch]

“Well, I wouldn’t say that I was wrongfully imprisoned. But the imprisoned part, sure. That sounds accurate.”

[Heavenleahangel]

I guess I'm not a good date, then. I have a son who is sick and it doesn't matter to me where I am or who I am with. If my son's caregiver calls or texts, I am answering as I know it will be important. And as for leftovers, I do take them home, too. Waste not want not. Maybe I need to go back and read the B-F dating handbook.
And I'm sure it is a major no-no to use coupons, but I do!!!!

[Katniss]

First date, a few years back, and upon learning the organization I work for has offices in every state including two (at the time) that recognized gay marriage;


"So if we get married I can get on your health insurance, right?'


Katniss~~(check, please....)

p.s. I have no problem with someone checking their phone if they have minor children who are with a caregiver for the evening. That's just being a good parent.

[JAGG]

I've been sheltered and pampered my whole life so I need someone who will take good care of me.

I have alot of phobias. I have a huge fear of flying , I can't swim besides I'm allergic to the sun .

Oh nice car you must have alot of money which is perfect because I like to spent alot .


I'm the president of the local cat rescue. :seeingstars:

[GeeGina]

"I'm single...well, technically anyways. It's complicated."

A constant checking the smartphone for texts, calls, etc - does drive me nuts, too. However, if my date has young kids...I'm ok with it.

[DMW]

What he said.

[Miss Scarlett]

"Your bed or mine?" - True story, said to me on a first date. (For the record, I declined.)

[Metro]

"Oh, I don't carry a purse (read: money)."
– Anonymous

[deb_U_taunt]

I'm the president of the local cat rescue. :seeingstars:

But we all know how much you secretly love cats :playingcat:

[deb_U_taunt]

"Pull my finger"

[MsTinkerbelly]

You can't walk fast in those shoes? OMG, that's why i usually date butches...femmes are too much trouble. :fastdraq:

[Queenie]

''Sorry but I am still in love with my ex..''

[Ginger]

"Is that your real hair?"

[macele]

"Is that your real hair?"



you all are giving me lots to say on a date. for humor purposes only. i'm not joking. just wait.

[Gemme]

I guess I'm not a good date, then. I have a son who is sick and it doesn't matter to me where I am or who I am with. If my son's caregiver calls or texts, I am answering as I know it will be important. And as for leftovers, I do take them home, too. Waste not want not. Maybe I need to go back and read the B-F dating handbook.
And I'm sure it is a major no-no to use coupons, but I do!!!!

Heavenleah, you're just fine. Kids are a totally different story, but when someone's got their face imbedded in their phone when there is a perfectly fine human being directly in front of them, that's extremely rude. I'm sure you'd let anyone you date know that you have your sweet boy and you are worried about him.

I agree with wasting food, but I think the point above was that it was the other person's food they were trying to confiscate. That goes along with someone putting their hands in my plate without permission while I'm eating. No!

[Miss Scarlett]

"Is that your real hair?"

This is right up there with being told out of the blue (not that I would ever ask, much less care because it just isn't important to me) that "The carpet matches the drapes"...

[deb_U_taunt]

"I have to pop the clutch to start this car. You mind pushing?

[Miss Scarlett]

"I have to pop the clutch to start this car. You mind pushing?

ROFL...been on that date, but it was in high school...

[deb_U_taunt]

ROFL...been on that date, but it was in high school...

Same. Thank gawd it was a little opal cadet. Funny I don't remember her name, but remember the car. :blush:

[Miss Scarlett]

Same. Thank gawd it was a little opal cadet. Funny I don't remember her name, but remember the car. :blush:

Ford Pinto...LOL

[always2late]

I guess I'm not a good date, then. I have a son who is sick and it doesn't matter to me where I am or who I am with. If my son's caregiver calls or texts, I am answering as I know it will be important. And as for leftovers, I do take them home, too. Waste not want not. Maybe I need to go back and read the B-F dating handbook.
And I'm sure it is a major no-no to use coupons, but I do!!!!

There is nothing wrong with this (or with you as far as your being a good date)! I have a disabled son, and my phone is always with me and always on. Anyone with a child, disabled or not, should be able to understand this. In fact, I would have a big problem with a date who insisted I turn my phone off, or who complained about me keeping it on for my son. Huge red flag there! I also see no problem with taking home leftovers. Why waste food? As for coupons...I don't see the problem there either. Last time I checked, I'm not a millionaire, I don't even have any "spare" cash...so why would I hold it against someone if they have a coupon to save a few bucks?

As for my entry for things you should never say on a date: "You look just like/remind me so much of my ex!" (and yes, that was said to me on a first date.)

[Nic]

What's that smell?

[JAGG]

I like to try alot of different things. In fact I rarely keep a job for more than 6months. I just get bored.

I don't cook so I hope you do. I hate cleaning and I don't do laundry. I absolutely refuse to do yard work. (What's left? Eating and sleeping)


I'm just not into titles or labels.Butch Femme dynamics, what's that?



O

[Metro]

"Marry me."
– Anonymous

[imperfect_cupcake]

"I forgot my wallet. You got this, right?"

Yup. It happened.

see? ME. this has happened to me TWICE. Absolutely humiliated and knew what it looked like when I reached into my bag and.... omfg. ...no...nonononono.... NOOOOOOOO.
FUCK!!!!

then begging them to swing past my place so I can re-imburse. Of course they won't. they are too polite. I look like a dickhead.

I am a seriously bad date half the time.

One time I sat and babbled about the chemistry of this one women's job for 15 min while she stared at me in glazed boredom.

another, two bicurious drunk 20 somethings came over to our pub table and started talking to me and trying to pick me up cause they loved my breasts. Luckily my date thought this was fucking hilarious as she watched me try and deal. But mostly that would not have flown. I could not get rid of them cause my date was sniggering and so I turned and said "right. since this is so amusing, I'm going to the loo. YOU can get rid of the leg humping yorkies." they were gone when I got back.


another, I realised mid-date that she was one of my very long term (we grew up down the road from each other) old friend's ex-wife. And introducted this fact by putting down my fork and said "omg. I know your dog! really well, actually..."
"really? how?"
"cause I've known your exwife for 27 years?"
Bad, bad date

I could go on. seriously. I have lists of these. One I knocked myself out on a tree branch.

[cinnamongrrl]

I seriously think these things should be in a book....lol dating hell...

my friend is/was a serial dater and had a date that paid for dinner but insisted on splitting the meal rather than pay for two. :| She told me she would have rather gone dutch and actually ate.... but he insisted.....

Then of course there was the infamous...Stanley.... this guy leaned over mid date (first date) and whispered that he wanted to introduce her to his friend, Stanley...the power tool...yeah....THAT tool....:seeingstars:

[Katniss]

1st date, just after we had placed our dinner order....

"Have you ever heard of Amway?"

[imperfect_cupcake]

"Marry me."
– Anonymous

Oh I've heard that on a first date. but they are just being smart-asses.

My last ex, even before she kissed me, told me she wanted us to get a motorhome and travel around Australia with me. lets throw it all away and fuck off babs, me and you.

she was serious. but she's always serious about hair brained ideas for 15 minutes till someone distracts her with a puppet.

[cinnamongrrl]

I was "dating" this girl for over 3 months. There was nooo chemistry. We evolved into a friend thing and I thought that was mutual.
Well....she asked me to look at an apartment with her because she wanted to move. We went and looked at it and proceeded to say things like, this will be our room and this will be your girls' room...etc etc..... :|
After 3 WHOLE months of knowing each other and going on "dates" and what not...there had been no kissing no nuttin. I don't know what gave her the inkling that we would even consider living together....like ever

[*Anya*]

Reminds me of this woman that contacted me from a dating site about a year ago.

After talking on the phone and emailing twice, without asking me, she reserved a room for us on the Queen Mary and was going to fly over (she lives in Hawaii) to spend the weekend with me.

I said, no, I don't even know you and she says: "but I can tell already we have a real psychic bond".

Uh, no we didn't.

:moonstars:

(No offense to anyone with psychic abilities).

[Cin]

I was on a first date with this woman and we went out for dinner, she asked me odd questions that only became clear in retrospect. After dinner I asked her if she would like coffee.

She answers “So what do you think about cleaning yourself out? How about a coffee enema? I have equipment at my apartment.”

I’m like no, thank you, I just meant do you want a cup of coffee. To drink.

I'm sure there is nothing wrong with coffee enemas if you are into them, but I don't think you should just go there on the first date. And it is a non sequitur to ask someone if they want to come back to your apartment for a coffee enema even if they ask if you would like a cup of coffee.

[Katniss]

After dinner I asked her if she would like coffee.

She answers “So what do you think about cleaning yourself out? How about a coffee enema? I have equipment at my apartment.”

So what you are trying to say is that offering to give someone a coffee enema is a shitty way to end a date? :giggle:


Katniss~~(I know, I know....low hanging fruit but I couldn't resist....)

[Gemme]

Same. Thank gawd it was a little opal cadet. Funny I don't remember her name, but remember the car. :blush:

Well, if you had to push her to get her to start up, I'm sure you'd remember more about her.

:blink:

[girl_dee]

"are those real" :|

[Gemme]

see? ME. this has happened to me TWICE. Absolutely humiliated and knew what it looked like when I reached into my bag and.... omfg. ...no...nonononono.... NOOOOOOOO.
FUCK!!!!

then begging them to swing past my place so I can re-imburse. Of course they won't. they are too polite. I look like a dickhead.

I am a seriously bad date half the time.

One time I sat and babbled about the chemistry of this one women's job for 15 min while she stared at me in glazed boredom.

another, two bicurious drunk 20 somethings came over to our pub table and started talking to me and trying to pick me up cause they loved my breasts. Luckily my date thought this was fucking hilarious as she watched me try and deal. But mostly that would not have flown. I could not get rid of them cause my date was sniggering and so I turned and said "right. since this is so amusing, I'm going to the loo. YOU can get rid of the leg humping yorkies." they were gone when I got back.


another, I realised mid-date that she was one of my very long term (we grew up down the road from each other) old friend's ex-wife. And introducted this fact by putting down my fork and said "omg. I know your dog! really well, actually..."
"really? how?"
"cause I've known your exwife for 27 years?"
Bad, bad date

I could go on. seriously. I have lists of these. One I knocked myself out on a tree branch.

You should seriously write your memoirs. I'd buy the fuck out of that book.

"are those real" :|

This is where having a glass eye would come in really handy.

:blink:

[Martina]

I'm sure there is nothing wrong with coffee enemas if you are into them, but I don't think you should just go there on the first date.

You keep disturbing those around me by making me laugh. This time it was just the cats. But still. Think before you cause folks to guffaw. :)

[Martina]

About five years ago, my mom fixed me up. That should have been the red flag right there. Anyway, this butch and I were to go on a date at Christmas time when I visited my mom and dad in Florida. So she starts calling in October. And calling and calling. When she said, "Now I have something to look forward to," that was it. I told her honestly that it was too many calls. And I was dating anyway. When I got home that Christmas, she had sent a centerpiece to my parents. Flowers and piney stuff. She called one more time, and I gently said no.

But implying that a date with a stranger gives you a reason to go on . . . uh no. Not a good idea.

I met her ex, a neighbor of my mother's. And she seems cool. But perhaps she is an ex for a reason.

[Martina]

One I knocked myself out on a tree branch.

LOL! Was there a second date?

[Martina]

Same. Thank gawd it was a little opal cadet.

I had one of those. Navy blue. Sadly, they are shutting down the manufacture of opels. :(

[Martina]

I have alot of phobias. I have a huge fear of flying , I can't swim besides I'm allergic to the sun .


I have had this one.

Also, one woman told me that she was in sex and love addicts anonymous (SLAA) and that it was because she had a fear of relationships. I was like, well, OK, she seems self-aware and honest.

She then stood me up twice in a row. So, I told her that was a red flag and that I was done. She was outraged. I apparently was not sensitive to her issues. I guess I wasn't.

[Martina]

A woman picked me up and then ran an errand for work with me in the car and waiting while she ran in. (A version of this has happened to me so many times. I do not know what is wrong with me that this has happened so often.)

Then during coffee she tells me a story about going to her newly married ex's house and hanging out outside just to be near her. She called and told the ex the next day. The ex was freaked out and told her not to do it anymore. Then the butch asked me if I thought her behavior was stalker-like. I had to say, "Yeah, I do."

No second date.

[Metro]

Self deprecating humor.

[Cin]

LOL! Was there a second date?

LOL.

I would just love to hear the story of the first date.

[Violette]

"I'm sorry. I did not have time to shower. How badly do I smell right now?"


Well, the person never mentioned that she didn't have a shower...

I went on a date with a very nice and very good looking butch....

Now, about that shower thing...uh, well, she smelled so bad I couldn't muster up any romantic feelings whatsoever.

[Cin]

So what you are trying to say is that offering to give someone a coffee enema is a shitty way to end a date? :giggle:


Yes, you could say that. Not to mention she ended up constipated in her efforts.

[SleepyButch]

"Wow, you're nothing like I thought you were. I mean, the pictures I took of you from the tree behind your house say nothing about your personality!"

[Sweet Bliss]

Me: So, you never mentioned my new haircut. Do you. Like it? You can see my natural blonde streaks now.

Her: It's awful. I hate it. Looks like shit.

I focused on the live band.

Several minutes pass.


Her: Did I hurt your feelings.

Me: No, it's my hair I like it short. When menopause hit I lost 2/3 of my hair. I can't wear it long anymore. I don't have hundreds of dollars to look like a diva.

Her : you look like a man.


Me: :|

[SleepyButch]

"What's your name again?"

[Mopsie]

Nothing at all.

It was like trying to have a conversation with a pet rock. :|

Since I'm a social worker I went to my typical work mode of asking open-ended questions to prompt conversation. My schizophrenic clients are much better company!

And then she wanted a second date. :|

[Bad_boi]

The worst date I was on was back when I presented as female. We went to a movie then back to her house. She wanted me to see her room and she had raver beads with nazi symbols on them. Needless to say, she did not get a second date.

[cinnamongrrl]

I have to say.....this is my new favorite thread :)

Since I didn't really "date" much (more like the serial relationship thing) through out my life....I can live vicariously :)

[Tony]

My husband & I are separated but still living together. He's ok with me dating. I hope that won't be a problem for you.

True story. I said the problem was that she didn't mention it until now, over drinks.

[Cin]

You keep disturbing those around me by making me laugh. This time it was just the cats. But still. Think before you cause folks to guffaw. :)

LOL.

Although I still believe a first date is too soon to discuss the possibility of putting things up someone's anus, unless of course you met them on an enema play site, it wasn't so much the invitation that was disturbing as the timing. It appeared like she actually thought it was an acceptable, even a logical jumping off point. That it was the epitome of etiquette to invite someone for a coffee enema when they ask you if you would like a cup of coffee. I think if she would have just asked how I felt about recreational enemas during some lull in the conversation I would not have been quite so unsettled. There still wouldn't have been a second date in our future because if enemas are so important to you that you must bring them up on a first date I will be nothing but a huge disappointment to you. Best to end it now.

[Cin]

My husband & I are separated but still living together. He's ok with me dating. I hope that won't be a problem for you.

True story. I said the problem was that she didn't mention it until now, over drinks.

LOL. I had a date with her too.

[Tony]

I have to say.....this is my new favorite thread :)

Since I didn't really "date" much (more like the serial relationship thing) through out my life....I can live vicariously :)

I'm drawing on dating quite a while ago. All the good stuff happens in our youth.
;-)

[Tony]

LOL. I had a date with her too.

I'm not surprised. She got around. Cuz her husband was ok with that. Lol

[Cin]

I'm drawing on dating quite a while ago. All the good stuff happens in our youth.
;-)

LOL. That's not how I'm remembering it.

[Ginger]

Self deprecating humor.


Hi, Metro.

Hey, I like self-deprecating humor (when it's smart and ironic). People mistake it for low self-esteem, but it's just the opposite when it's done right. IMO

Take care,
Scout

[Blade]

I didn't have time for a shower

[Blade]

I'd like to take you out again. No, not Saturday. Can't do Saturday, Saturday is for college football.

[Queenie]

''Wow! You look so much thinner in the photos you've sent to me online.''

[CherylNYC]

Well, I thought I was out on a lunch date, and she certainly presented as very butch... until she said she didn't approve of homosexuality.

[RNguy]

I'd like to take you out again. No, not Saturday. Can't do Saturday, Saturday is for college football.


LMAO AT THIS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This is exactly why I totally like you . Perfect

Dang no wonder that one girl never answered my call that next Sunday many years ago.
Makes sence now !!!!!!!! ;)

[*Anya*]

Well, I thought I was out on a lunch date, and she certainly presented as very butch... until she said she didn't approve of homosexuality.

Absolutely hysterical!

[imperfect_cupcake]

LOL! Was there a second date?

oh yeah. She had taken me to see a light show and we had gotten a bit stoned. I needed to pee really bad and we had already left the building and it was closing, which was in a park. Ish. sorta. So I said "I'm just going to nip into those low shrubs and take a wiz. can you keep look out for me?" Sure np, she turns around and watches I try not to pee on my foot and I shifted over a couple of times, as ya do, to avoid wet-foot, and I grabbed my knickers and jeans and stood up really fast and the top of my head collided with a tree branch and I knock myself out for a couple seconds, she was just about to grab me when I woke up. Knocked out in the pee dirt with my knickers around my thighs. Super Classy. I then threw up.

she had to take me to the hospital and she sat with me all night.

[RockOn]

honeybarbara, that is hilarious!

LOL! Thanks, I needed that laugh.
:)

[imperfect_cupcake]

no worries. I have quite a few of those stories.... you'd never be able to tell I went to finishing school. sheesh.

[Metro]

Hi, Metro.

Hey, I like self-deprecating humor (when it's smart and ironic). People mistake it for low self-esteem, but it's just the opposite when it's done right. IMO

Take care,
Scout

Hey Scout,

Yes, agreed. Thanks for offering up that perspective! :)

~Metro

[imperfect_cupcake]

Hi, Metro.

Hey, I like self-deprecating humor (when it's smart and ironic). People mistake it for low self-esteem, but it's just the opposite when it's done right. IMO

Take care,
Scout

I love people who can laugh at themselves. it's sexy. making fun of one's self takes being at ease with yourself. It's why people can have the piss ripped out of them by their mates and LAUGH instead of getting offended.
It's pretty UK humour as well. If you can't laugh at yourself for being a twat when you are one... I don't think I'd want a date with that person. It's better, in my books to make a joke about something hard and upsetting so I can let go of it and laugh, instead of getting all mopped up in it and sobbing into my hankie. I love it when people make inappropriate jokes if I'm crying about something.

self deprecating humour lets me laugh at myself... and everyone else :p

[RNguy]

Well, I thought I was out on a lunch date, and she certainly presented as very butch... until she said she didn't approve of homosexuality.

Lmao this is too funny
The whole thead is too.

What was your reaction when she said that ?

[Rockinonahigh]

Years ago I met someone at the local queer bar that I really got along with,I thought it was gret she understood the bf life.We had many things in common,we both were extroverts so it was like magic....tilllll.Yes till I was haveing a summer bbq with several of my friends so she could meet them.Come to find out she was my bestfriends wifes ex,that they had a ten year relationship then broke up with a really bad break up.When they saw each other it was like two cats threatning to kill eachother,she said 'I didnt know u knew her'.Finaly my friend got her wife to calm down,I got her to calm down but I promiss that the sothern summer bbq was a hard sell with people doing there best to pretend nothing had happened.I did contenue to date her for a couple of years but over bith if us found other intrest,me with a new job that took lots of days of my time and she wanted travel.

[Blade]

Do you have on clean underwear?

Guess it should be a requirement to ad....
Mom says to always were clean underwear in case you have a wreck.

[LeftWriteFemme]

here hold my teeth while I gum your tummy


Js5fBq0w7j0

[RNguy]

Do you have on clean underwear?

Guess it should be a requirement to ad....
Mom says to always were clean underwear in case you have a wreck.


The proper statement would be I don't wear underwear :) kidding

[CherylNYC]

Lmao this is too funny
The whole thead is too.

What was your reaction when she said that ?

"Oh. I thought we were on a date.

Nevermind."

[Heavenleahangel]

How about these?

....In the middle of eating dinner....."Have you ever thought about gastric bypass surgery?"

"How much money do you make? With a job like yours I would think you could afford dental work."

"Do you mind looking at a bump I have on my ________ when we get back to your place?

[Sweet Bliss]

Email after date (no phone call of course, too labor intensive ).

If you want to have another date email me back, if not that's fine, I enjoyed meeting you, have a great life.

I didn't answer, multiple reasons including bad hygiene, manners, and monologue.(

The onslaught of emails became increasingly hostile and ugly continued for weeks.

Autonomy is priceless. (f)

[imperfect_cupcake]

Email after date (no phone call of course, too labor intensive ).

If you want to have another date email me back, if not that's fine, I enjoyed meeting you, have a great life.

I didn't answer, multiple reasons including bad hygiene, manners, and monologue.(

The onslaught of emails became increasingly hostile and ugly continued for weeks.

Autonomy is priceless. (f)

you can dodge bullets while standing still!! :D

I usually accept the email or text "thanks for the date/sex/visit to the emerg" as there are so many people with phone phobias/discomforts. And for thank yous I figure texts are the new tech equiv of a note.

I don't think I've actually ever gotten a phone call "thanks for the ____" since about 2003...

[RNguy]

"Oh. I thought we were on a date.

Nevermind."



Lmao dang I wish I were able to get a ring side seat for that one .

[cinnamongrrl]

This thread is like visual crack :) In a good way! :hangloose:

[JAGG]

Sex isn't a big deal to me. I would rather have a wonderful meal and a good movie over sex any day of the week.

Oh my back is really giving me problems today. You don't happen to have any pain killers laying around you aren't using do you ?

[princessbelle]

This could also be right up there with the worst first date in history. When i was a teenager, i went out on a blind date with a friend of a friend. He had had way too many beers and i had to pull over so he could relieve himself. The entire night was a disaster, but here is the one liner, from that first date, that would be appropriate for this thread...

"Hey, look over here. I peed your name in the snow."

And to make it worse, he was really proud. :blink:

[JAGG]

I'm glad you're driving , because I'm already wasted.

[Sweet Bliss]

Sex isn't a big deal to me. I would rather have a wonderful meal and a good movie over sex any day of the week.

Oh my back is really giving me problems today. You don't happen to have any pain killers laying around you aren't using do you ?
:koolaid:

Omg JAGG, I forgot which thread I was reading, and in my head I'm screaming

NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!:overreaction:


Imagine My relief when I realized YOU were NOT saying those terrible things ...

[Sweet Bliss]

" yes I have back problems, but that has never stopped me from having sex."

Wait for it......

"No, my back hurts, no can't do that either, I'll tense up and the pain will get worse. "

Note to potential suitor, if your back hurts, and you can't /won't be intimate, get a dog.

[Queenie]

''I still am living with my partner.''

''Are you going to finish your dinner?'' While you are STILL eating your dinner!

[JAGG]

So tell me a little about your friend (insert name) I think she's hot is she single?

[Cin]

I had forgotten this. This date was years ago, I mean years, when I still dated men. A friend fixed me up with her boyfriend’s cousin. We all went to the beach and I guess things were going along okay until the guy starts telling me how great he is at holding his breath. I’m like okay wonderful.

He keeps going on about it. So I offer to watch him (I figure guys like that) or time him (I know little kids love it when you time their exploits, maybe he does too.) I’m struggling cause truthfully I don’t really know what he wants me to do with this information. I’m thinking so you can hold your breath for a long time, it’s not the most useful talent in the world unless you are a free diver or dive for abalone or something.

Apparently the point is to dazzle us with his ability by challenging us to a breath-holding contest and beating us badly. He wants us all to go in the water, dive down around the rocks, grab on and stay down as long as we can. I’m thinking to myself, I hope this guy can really hold his breath a long time or he’s gong to be very disappointed. I love snorkeling and often do a bit of free diving when I’m out because it allows me to go down deeper and get a closer look around and I can seriously hold my breath. I try to tell the guy this, just letting him know that I might have an unfair advantage cause of all the breath holding practice I’ve had. He’s not impressed and isn’t having any of it. He thinks I’m trying to psyche him out or something.

Anyway off we go, I dive down grab a rock and a seat and I don’t come up until I really have to. I have no idea how much I beat him by, although my friend told me later it was a painfully long time. He was so pissed off he didn’t even look at me the rest of what became a rather truncated version of an afternoon at the beach. He just hung out with his cousin until we left. As he’s getting in his car he turns to me and says “Just a word of advice, guys don’t like it when you try to act like you are better than them. You really should act more like a girl.” I so wanted to punch him in the face, but instead I said “And you think acting like a girl would prevent someone from being better than you are? Anyway I don’t have to act like I’m better than you, that’s for sure.” I never saw him again. And that was too soon. Asshole. Thank god I figured out I'm a butch and I love femmes. That worked out ever so much better. Not that straight guys have cornered the market in what not to say on a first date. As this thread aptly illustrates.

[deb_U_taunt]

'I think I hooked up with one of your friends.'

[agape]

Sex isn't a big deal to me. I would rather have a wonderful meal and a good movie over sex any day of the week.


Personally, I'd be happy having someone tell me that...

But the rest of this thread makes me like not... want... to date... ever.. again... :|

[CherylNYC]

I had forgotten this. This date was years ago, I mean years, when I still dated men. A friend fixed me up with her boyfriend’s cousin. We all went to the beach and I guess things were going along okay until the guy starts telling me how great he is at holding his breath. I’m like okay wonderful.

He keeps going on about it. So I offer to watch him (I figure guys like that) or time him (I know little kids love it when you time their exploits, maybe he does too.) I’m struggling cause truthfully I don’t really know what he wants me to do with this information. I’m thinking so you can hold your breath for a long time, it’s not the most useful talent in the world unless you are a free diver or dive for abalone or something.

Apparently the point is to dazzle us with his ability by challenging us to a breath-holding contest and beating us badly. He wants us all to go in the water, dive down around the rocks, grab on and stay down as long as we can. I’m thinking to myself, I hope this guy can really hold his breath a long time or he’s gong to be very disappointed. I love snorkeling and often do a bit of free diving when I’m out because it allows me to go down deeper and get a closer look around and I can seriously hold my breath. I try to tell the guy this, just letting him know that I might have an unfair advantage cause of all the breath holding practice I’ve had. He’s not impressed and isn’t having any of it. He thinks I’m trying to psyche him out or something.

Anyway off we go, I dive down grab a rock and a seat and I don’t come up until I really have to. I have no idea how much I beat him by, although my friend told me later it was a painfully long time. He was so pissed off he didn’t even look at me the rest of what became a rather truncated version of an afternoon at the beach. He just hung out with his cousin until we left. As he’s getting in his car he turns to me and says “Just a word of advice, guys don’t like it when you try to act like you are better than them. You really should act more like a girl.” I so wanted to punch him in the face, but instead I said “And you think acting like a girl would prevent someone from being better than you are? Anyway I don’t have to act like I’m better than you, that’s for sure.” I never saw him again. And that was too soon. Asshole. Thank god I figured out I'm a butch and I love femmes. That worked out ever so much better. Not that straight guys have cornered the market in what not to say on a first date. As this thread aptly illustrates.

This went in an entirely different direction than I expected. I actually thought the stupid boy was trying to impress you with his mighty breath-holding powers because it had something to do with cunnilingus prowess.

I guess I'm just used to hanging around with lesbians. Silly me.

[macele]

This went in an entirely different direction than I expected. I actually thought the stupid boy was trying to impress you with his mighty breath-holding powers because it had something to do with cunnilingus prowess.

I guess I'm just used to hanging around with lesbians. Silly me.


Cheryl, you are not alone. my mind went there.

[macele]

This could also be right up there with the worst first date in history. When i was a teenager, i went out on a blind date with a friend of a friend. He had had way too many beers and i had to pull over so he could relieve himself. The entire night was a disaster, but here is the one liner, from that first date, that would be appropriate for this thread...

"Hey, look over here. I peed your name in the snow."

And to make it worse, he was really proud. :blink:




i actually thought this was cool LOLOL. you all please don't tell anyone i typed that.

i like to make sandwiches and draw stuff on the bread with the mustard bottle. for a use to be gf, i would draw the first letter of her name on the bread and lick it off. she got a kick out of that. made her giggle LOL.

too funny. thanks for sharing, princessbelle.

[Cin]

This went in an entirely different direction than I expected. I actually thought the stupid boy was trying to impress you with his mighty breath-holding powers because it had something to do with cunnilingus prowess.

I guess I'm just used to hanging around with lesbians. Silly me.

Had he won he might have gone there, who knows, but since I could hold my breath longer than he could, it lost the power to impress in any capacity. But I never noticed that my ability to hold my breath for long periods of time actually played that important a role in my cunnilingus prowess. I hope I’m doing it right.

[macele]

Had he won he might have gone there, who knows, but since I could hold my breath longer than he could, it lost the power to impress in any capacity. But I never noticed that my ability to hold my breath for long periods of time actually played that important a role in my cunnilingus prowess. I hope I’m doing it right.



i'm gonna go with its just an ole lesbian saying lol. but now being able to extend can make a better love lover. i hyper extended once, though. but i was a freshman and out of my mind.

[Chancie]

"If I wore a short dress, a wig, and some Lee Press Ons, I bet I'd get more sympathy after my last breakup."

[JAGG]

i actually thought this was cool LOLOL. you all please don't tell anyone i typed that.

i like to make sandwiches and draw stuff on the bread with the mustard bottle. for a use to be gf, i would draw the first letter of her name on the bread and lick it off. she got a kick out of that. made her giggle LOL.

too funny. thanks for sharing, princessbelle.

That's why you rawk macele!!!!!!

[imperfect_cupcake]

i'm gonna go with its just an ole lesbian saying lol. but now being able to extend can make a better love lover. i hyper extended once, though. but i was a freshman and out of my mind.

huh. interesting. we did a contest in school with holding breaths, a class of 50, last term. I won. by a chunk of time. And I know I've got skillz. so maybe they *are* related??

I certainly know I've had to hold my breath at points in time for it... :blink:

Chancie: wow. what bell-end. that's spectacular....

"I think I hooked up with your friend"
um. that would probably be me too... but I think I'd keep that to myself to a few more dates in....

[CherylNYC]

Had he won he might have gone there, who knows, but since I could hold my breath longer than he could, it lost the power to impress in any capacity. But I never noticed that my ability to hold my breath for long periods of time actually played that important a role in my cunnilingus prowess. I hope I’m doing it right.

Umm, uhh... perhaps someone with first hand knowledge would like to weigh in on this?

[Cin]

Umm, uhh... perhaps someone with first hand knowledge would like to weigh in on this?

LOL! That's okay thanks. It was just a rhetorical question. :tease:

I have no problem holding my breath but I don't find it all that necessary for cunnilingus longevity. Thank goodness because I can hold my breath for a long time but not for hours. :shocking:

[Cin]

huh. interesting. we did a contest in school with holding breaths, a class of 50, last term. I won. by a chunk of time. And I know I've got skillz. so maybe they *are* related??

I certainly know I've had to hold my breath at points in time for it... :blink:


That makes sense and I don't think I processed what an inability to hold one's breath for an adequate amount of time might mean. Probably because I never notice any strain holding my breath for extended points in time. I never have any difficulty getting all the air I need. There's always a whole lot of action and breathing just happens naturally for me in between moves (and I like to think some of them are signature.) But it does stand to reason that being able to hold one's breath for a long period of time can only be a good thing.

More than enough from me on this subject I think.

And I don't know when it's going to finally become clear to me that I need to leave the humor to the professionals.
I'm just not very funny.

(But at least there's no barking involved this time.)

[RNguy]

I'm glad you're driving , because I'm already wasted.


Lmao ill remember to say that if you get your butt up for a visit up here and do the brodate with me :)
That's funny yep I don't know what I would say if some girl said that to me on a date but knowing my humor , I'd say to her , ready for part two of our date ??? You'll love it , its kinky , and involves a tube ill shove down your nose into your gut and pump your stomach out and then ill drop you off in rehab .
Then when you are fixed up call me MY NAME IS JAGG

[Gemme]

i actually thought this was cool LOLOL. you all please don't tell anyone i typed that.

i like to make sandwiches and draw stuff on the bread with the mustard bottle. for a use to be gf, i would draw the first letter of her name on the bread and lick it off. she got a kick out of that. made her giggle LOL.

too funny. thanks for sharing, princessbelle.

Well, it's not like princessbelle's name is StellaMarieAntoinetteFranchesca.

Now THAT would be impressive, especially if it was legible.

[DapperButch]

That makes sense and I don't think I processed what an inability to hold one's breath for an adequate amount of time might mean. Probably because I never notice any strain holding my breath for extended points in time. I never have any difficulty getting all the air I need. There's always a whole lot of action and breathing just happens naturally for me in between moves (and I like to think some of them are signature.) But it does stand to reason that being able to hold one's breath for a long period of time can only be a good thing.

More than enough from me on this subject I think.

And I don't know when it's going to finally become clear to me that I need to leave the humor to the professionals.
I'm just not very funny.

(But at least there's no barking involved this time.)

You did NOT just say that! ha!!

[DMW]

Had he won he might have gone there, who knows, but since I could hold my breath longer than he could, it lost the power to impress in any capacity. But I never noticed that my ability to hold my breath for long periods of time actually played that important a role in my cunnilingus prowess. I hope I’m doing it right.

He did win...he was just too full of ego and not enough smarts to figure it out.
What a dolt!
Glad I could come back and edit.
You know what? Even if you could hold your breath longer (with smaller lung
capacity even )..forgettabout sex remarks. You won in the competition
of not having to spend another minute with smh...serious ***kwad.

[*Anya*]

I have a million of them...

The woman who told me she was mainly attracted to Latin women,

as I sat there, being a Caucasian woman and all.

[DMW]

He did win...he was just too full of ego and not enough smarts to figure it out.
What a dolt!
Glad I could come back and edit.
You know what? Even if you could hold your breath longer (with smaller lung
capacity even )..forgettabout sex remarks. You won in the competition
of not having to spend another minute with smh...serious ***kwad.

I gotta say something more...it bothers me.
Ok..he obviously didn't have anything in between his legs worth holding your breath for.
Or between his ears or inside his chest.

I really can't stand that mentality.

[Cin]

You did NOT just say that! ha!!

Of course I didn't say that.

[DapperButch]

Of course I didn't say that.

Oh, good, because that would be really embarrassing if you did. The professionals would for sure need to come in then.

[Cin]

Oh, good, because that would be really embarrassing if you did. The professionals would for sure need to come in then.

LOL. I think the professionals need to come in regardless. Please don't try this at home.

[easygoingfemme]

In high school, I had a guy lick the side of my face on a first "date". Chin to forehead. I believe it was all non-verbal communication, but still, should be outlawed.

[deb_U_taunt]

http://f1.pepst.com/c/70AB96/616893/ssc3/home/078/no.1.dating.place/76cf0932b3832349_dating_funny2.jpg_480_480_0_64000 _0_1_0.jpg

[Daktari]

Is your Mom hot too?
Can she join us?

Never had much luck with those to be honest :|

[hagster]

Halfway through a first (and only) date, which I thought was going very well, she started a sentence with, "My girlfriend..." What what whaaaat?

The first time I was bold enough to actually do the asking out (someone who had spent weeks overtly flirting with me), the gal stopped talking over our drinks to breathe and say, staring at my chest, "If I were a lesbian..." and something about wanting to bury her head there and do things. I pulled my top up to my throat and made sure it never slipped anywhere close to cleavage again. She spent dinner talking about, quite graphically, her sexual exploits with past boyfriends. That was a disgusting nightmare of a date, that unfortunately didn't end at dinner itself. As I drove her home, she wanted details of whether I was a 'giver' or 'receiver' and what her preferences were. I laugh now but I needed a shower. And yes, I made her pay her portion for dinner, which she was not expecting.

[~baby~doll~]

OH remind me I need to pick up some candy for my girlfriend.

[Heavenleahangel]

I took out all the sex toys I've accumulated over the years. Wanna go back to my place and try some out? We will have to stop and buy some lube, though. Some of them are really big!

(I would drop this fool off at a bus stop if someone said this to me. I always drive until I am comfortable with someone.)

[Heavenleahangel]

"....I'm glad my ex tested negative for ______ this time. I hate trying to get rid of all the crap she keeps giving me!

[Sweet Bliss]

Another winner.

Why don't you lose some weight and exercise? I would think you would want to look your best if you are going to date people.

Me: I've already dropped over 100 pounds, can bench 120 lbs, too bad you can't do that with your personality.

I think the zombie apocalypse is already here. :|

[Nat]

Why are you wearing heels?

[*Anya*]

Met for coffee and this is a true story- who could possibly make this up:

"I haven't dated very much since my girlfriend of 5 years died of a heroin overdose and I had no idea she was an addict".

Stupefied me on so many levels.

Not the least of which was what the hell do you say to that besides "I am so sorry".

[JAGG]

The waitress just called you sir, doesn't that bother you ? You know you should let your hair grow out a little. Maybe wear some earings. You would look cute.

[Slowpurr]

I don't think there is anything, based on the answers I have read, that you should not say on a date. A date is the place to present yourself, as you are. The information is helpful to both individuals in the dating process.

Maybe there are things we may not want to hear...

[cinnamongrrl]

bumping the thread....its a favorite of mine :)

[Breathless]

'Its a shame, you have such a pretty face' :blink:

And because I am just too sarcastic perhaps.. My reply was..

'And it's a shame, your personality went from an 8 to -5 so fast I think I have whip lash' .. Done

[Happy_Go_Lucky]

http://www.online-dating-mastery.com/images/online-dating-advice-restraining-order.gif

[ShyViolet]

"My ex has locked herself in the bathroom and is threatening to kill herself, so can we stop by her place first?"



After about an hour of sitting outside, I asked one of the responding policemen for a ride back to my car.

[Mel C.]

Nothing from my own experience comes to mind (i don't date often), but keep the pointers coming.

[starryeyes]

"I want to go talk to that girl sitting over at the other table" and then get up and leave.

Yeah that happened!

Dating sucks!!

[imperfect_cupcake]

the first date I went on after my exwife left, was pretty awful. It started ok until I mentioned I was friends with X. She got very excited and said she had a huge crush on X and that X was her physical ideal. X is short, slender with long brown hair and dark eyes.
I'm tall, pixie blonde hair, pale blue eyes and very buxom and rather chubby. ok. so, like, the opposite of me. that's nice.

[MysticOceansFL]

Never talk about your ex's

[imperfect_cupcake]

Never talk about your ex's

Actually, for me, this isn't true. I'm extremely interested in knowing about peoples past relationships. Especially the first time we hang out. I was told I "track" people. In other words, I watch and listen very carefully. If I watch you order a beer, and talk to you about it a bit, I will always be able to order your beer for you. You never have to tell me twice how you take your coffee. I note the kinds of foods you order, the levels of spice and types of flavours in them. hearing about ones past relationships tells me heaps about who you are. Talking about your exes tells me how you pick people. How you deal with them. What hurts you. How you cope with that. What's important to you. How you learn.

So with me? Please tell me all about your exes. All of them. I want to know.

[*Anya*]

I think the OP wrote "things to never say on a first date" or perhaps that's my take on it.

My examples were from very first dates, first face-to face meetings.

For me, on that first date: please do not tell me that you are mainly attracted to Latin girls (I had a couple of pictures with my dating profile); please don't tell me that I am attractive because you are not attracted to thin girls (WTF) or an extensive story about your GF of 5 years heroin overdose, when you had no idea (and you lived together) that she was an addict.

One of my most classic first dates was with a psychologist and the PhD told me that he knew I wanted to sleep with him because of how my pelvis was tilted towards him on the chair, facing him. This was before I dated women but the principle is certainly the same.

Don't tell me shit like that.

A first meeting (always for coffee, meeting you there so that I could bring my get-away car) should be to see if there is any kind of emotional connection and sexual attraction.

Keep all of your deep, emotional "truths" until you know if some kind of connection is present. Then, as we trust each other and know that it is safe and the other is receptive; slowly bring them out- not all tumbling out the first time I meet you at Starbucks.

Otherwise, I felt as though I were at work, listening to a client with deep emotional needs, trying to figure out a treatment plan for that person. Not a love connection.

PS: Sometimes, now, when my girl-friend is watching some kind of romance show (she would kill me to know that I wrote that:| ) I tell her how glad I am, that I never (god willing) have to go out on a first date ever again.

[lamuymuyfem]

You look better than your picture….

(my internal monologue….

because I look so awful in the picture?
you mean, I'm almost presentable?
why do you want to date me if the picture was not that great?)

[Queenie]

Yeah um... do you want to pay for half of the dinner bill?....

[imperfect_cupcake]

What the hell is a deep emotional truth? - sincerely. I have no idea what this is.

[Contessa]

So this hot looking nurse had been hitting on me for a week while I was visiting a relative in the hospital. She finally asked me out. I agreed to meet her for lunch. We met at her apt parking lot first as she wanted to "show me" something..I was a bit concerned but went anyway..with pepper spray. lol I get there and she starts excitedly showing me all of these LARGE toys & bondage equipment in the bed of her filthy, greasy truck..mixed in with her tools, etc. (kid you not). She said "Wanna play with these later?" I suddenly got an "emergency text" and had to leave...

[*Anya*]

Emotional truth

Verbalizing (or writing about) a current or previously felt state of joy, sorrow, anger, envy, hostility, love, hate, misery, jealousy or happiness.

I am a psychiatric RN, so I deal with folks sharing their own deep emotional truths every day.

I did not expect it on a first meeting with someone on a very casual coffee date.

It can be any medium, however.

Wiki has the following descriptor of a guitarist performance:

The album is produced by Andy Tommasi. One reviewer wrote, "…Campilongo plays like he’s engaging in a long, very personal conversation: It ranges from heated to relaxed, angst-ridden, and even a little flirty—but it’s always fluent, spontaneous and full of nuance, texture, and emotional truth." [7]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jim_Campilongo

[imperfect_cupcake]

I still don't get what one is...

But that's ok.


For me, if the first meeting is fluffy and I don't hear anything connecting, like being emotionally open and connecting with me like... I dunno... I ask people what their first memory is. From that info I ask about their relationship to that. I'm socially promiscuous. I like gritty emotional connections with people. But I'm also a die hard extrovert and people are my books so I may differ from others who don't like connecting with strangers. Without pay lol.

This is why getting to know people is a good thing, right? If someone doesn't open up on the first meet, I think "too difficult, emotionally closed. No thanks"

I like hearing about someone's relationship with their dad. It's fascinating. Good stuff.

But you get that stuff daily. So I can see why for you, it would be a drag. ;)

[*Anya*]

I still don't get what one is...

But that's ok.

I like hearing about someone's relationship with their dad. It's fascinating. Good stuff.

But you get that stuff daily. So I can see why for you, it would be a drag. ;)

Ouch.

That feels almost insulting-maybe you did not mean it that way.

I love connecting personally emotionally with people but yes, I did draw the line at hearing for 20 minutes straight about the girlfriend that used IV heroin in the bathroom and how she had to call paramedics when she found her dead and how she did not understand that she never saw all the track marks until the open casket funeral...

Just a really out there example but I make no apologies for wanting a little more "fluffy" until, oh, maybe the second meeting.

Healthy emotional boundaries are important to me.

[Candelion]

I've heard this one a couple of times.

Me: So, what do you do for a living?

Date: Well....I have a blog.....sort of

Me: Oh, do tell. :|

[imperfect_cupcake]

No, I have no clue why that would hurt. My ex is an oncology nurse and personally loathes it when sick people ask her for help out of her work hours. Most of the nurses I know are probably the *least* sympathetic people I know when sick outside of work!! LOL! For good reason, right? I do massage therapy and people telling me their neck hurts as soon as I mention that makes me roll my eyes. So no, asserting that it might be a drag when people spill "deep emotional truths" out of work hours I did not mean even slightly as an insult. We all have limits and yours might be work and close family and friends.

See someone telling me that I wouldn't blink. I've had mates die from heroin over doses. Sucks, yeah. This is why I'm saying, depending on the person. Life is fucking hard. At least I've known it to be. Someone telling me that I highly doubt is looking for kisses and cuddles. At least I wouldn't see it that way and I don't react that way to things anyway. My emotional boundaries come from me. So I'm pretty comfy with "deep emotional truths" depending on the conversation the first time we are hanging out. My reaction would probably be "wow. Fuck. That's intense. How long were you together?"

But I totally get that for most people, that would not be a thing to say on a first date.

Like I said, I don't suit dating. This is probably why.


Edit to add: if the entire hang out consisted of this conversation, rather than a ten - 20 min chat in the four hours of hanging out, that's another issue. Also if they said it matter of factly that is different than weeping and grabbing my hand (*alarm bells*)
But that's the whole thing about hanging out with folk right? Personality matching. Hard thing. I am very open, in terms of who I am, what my history is, what I think (no, really?? Lol) and if I disagree. But emotionally I don't give out candy till way down the line.

I can see how some of things I consider "meh" might throw people. I know things others consider quite normal to be very distressing to me. So. Swings and round abouts, right?

[Kimpooh]

"This one time, my ex....."
I really don't care about what your ex did. She's your EX for a reason, leave her in the past

[Duchess]

I can so relate to the topic. I used to think that there were so many things that shouldn't be said, but after a few flops I want to hear everything. I find this works better for me. I want political and spiritual views on the table. I want to be slapped in the face with whatever rude behavior they're packing. I've wasted too much time falling for the polished representative. I'd rather know up front whether to flee or stay.:)


Duchess

[Martina]

Do not tell me in a dozen different ways how fucking wonderful you are. I'll figure that out for myself. Or not.

[Mel C.]

Tell me anything you want me to know about you, just not on the first date

[imperfect_cupcake]

Well, we are quite different. So I think what one should or should not say on a date... Just be yourself and you'll weed out the people who don't like the way ya do it.

Easy enough, really.

Cause if you try to suit someone else's tastes you'll only be frustrating yourself.

[MysticOceansFL]

Lets see, I've dated maybe a total of 8 women but I don't consider those ladies ex's and I was once married and divorced and she's the only one I consider an ex an not much to tell really , except while dating I learn their likes and dislikes the whole nine yards an I usually courtship a woman for about six months to a year so you see I'm old fashioned and boring!!!!!! Hope this helps out since you wanted to know alittle about me Ms. HoneyBarbara, ~Tips my hat to you~









Actually, for me, this isn't true. I'm extremely interested in knowing about peoples past relationships. Especially the first time we hang out. I was told I "track" people. In other words, I watch and listen very carefully. If I watch you order a beer, and talk to you about it a bit, I will always be able to order your beer for you. You never have to tell me twice how you take your coffee. I note the kinds of foods you order, the levels of spice and types of flavours in them. hearing about ones past relationships tells me heaps about who you are. Talking about your exes tells me how you pick people. How you deal with them. What hurts you. How you cope with that. What's important to you. How you learn.

So with me? Please tell me all about your exes. All of them. I want to know.

[imperfect_cupcake]

Lets see, I've dated maybe a total of 8 women but I don't consider those ladies ex's and I was once married and divorced and she's the only one I consider an ex an not much to tell really , except while dating I learn their likes and dislikes the whole nine yards an I usually courtship a woman for about six months to a year so you see I'm old fashioned and boring!!!!!! Hope this helps out since you wanted to know alittle about me Ms. HoneyBarbara, ~Tips my hat to you~



I'm of the ilk of: Go for it. Say it if you want to. Sleep with someone if it you feel like it. Talk religion and politics (I do), disagree with someone (I do), talk about your ex (I do) if you want to talk about that you went to the ______ and ______ happened but you ex happens to be in the story, tell it. If you want to know how my last ex and I broke, ask, I'll talk about it. I'll probably ask you. ;)

Yeah there are great horror stories on this thread - yeash - but I personally KNOW that I would BE a lot of peoples horror story. And I have been!

My *only* point is that there really isn't a rule of thumb that will suit everyone. That's it. That's the only point I've been trying to make. That's all.

[Cole]

Any sorts of deep emotional truth/baggage telling upon first meeting. I once went on a FIRST date with a girl who proceed to read me her poetry she had written on being sexually abused by a family member.

Also...'I hope you're into bondage. I LOVE rough sex.'

[cinnamongrrl]

"My mom called. We have to go."

This honest to god happened to me....

[imperfect_cupcake]

I think there is something implicit being stated in "first date" here that isn't really part of how I work, which is why I'm baffled by some of this.

I f this is meet people from online, I tend not to meet up with people without talking for a bit. And usually that involves getting to know you conversations. So by the time I meet them, we've gone past the "fluffy" conversation.

If I'm having a date with someone met through someone else, I've probably hung out with them in a group a few times, at the very least. And had a few conversations on the phone/text/email/Facebook. So again, past the fluffy part.

I'm not a surface conversation girl. I like difficult and meaty subjects, black humour, sarcasm and real life stories. So I get to those fairly quickly. A first date, for me, will not be the first time we've talked. Likely we've talked quite a bit before meeting the first time if online.

So that may be why I don't "get" first date rules.

[Kobi]

"My mom called. We have to go."

This honest to god happened to me....


I have to ask.....

is this like my mom called, we have to go cuz I'll miss curfew or

my mom called, we have to go, cuz there is a family emergency?

[TimilDeeps]

I have to ask.....

is this like my mom called, we have to go cuz I'll miss curfew or

my mom called, we have to go, cuz there is a family emergency?


or my mom called, she'll be here in 10 minutes?

[cinnamongrrl]

I have to ask.....

is this like my mom called, we have to go cuz I'll miss curfew or

my mom called, we have to go, cuz there is a family emergency?


if I recall correctly, she was thirsty amd didnt want anything that was actually in the fridge....and we were over 30 minutes away having lunch.... red flag much??

[Charmingbutch21]

"This one time, my ex....."
I really don't care about what your ex did. She's your EX for a reason, leave her in the past

This drives me insane-o. It's so disrespectful to the person you are on a date with.

[Cole610]

A couple weeks ago I picked up my lady friend for our 3rd date.
After she jumped into my truck she looked at me and said. “Hey you got your hair cut! Its about time”
WTF.

[Cole610]

A few yrs back I met this woman for a drink after a quick howdy doo online.
After the intro conversation she started to talk about how great her mom was and how “Well Off”
she was and then started to talk about all the things her ex bought her and the last dress her ex bought her was not to her taste so I said well you won't have to worry about that with me I don't like to shop. Needless to say that date wrapped up a couple minutes later. Thank God. lol

[Redsunflower]

How have I not seen this thread before?? It's hysterical!

A favourite first date one liner said to me...

'Could you not find a jacket to match your dress then?'

Cheeky git, I looked way hot.

And this...

LOL.

Although I still believe a first date is too soon to discuss the possibility of putting things up someone's anus, unless of course you met them on an enema play site, it wasn't so much the invitation that was disturbing as the timing. It appeared like she actually thought it was an acceptable, even a logical jumping off point. That it was the epitome of etiquette to invite someone for a coffee enema when they ask you if you would like a cup of coffee. I think if she would have just asked how I felt about recreational enemas during some lull in the conversation I would not have been quite so unsettled. There still wouldn't have been a second date in our future because if enemas are so important to you that you must bring them up on a first date I will be nothing but a huge disappointment to you. Best to end it now.

Miss Tick you are priceless.

x

[cinnamongrrl]

Idk if I mentioned..

I had gone to get a drink for my "date" and I ...down a bleacher and what felt like a mile to concessions and waited in line....

A little later the popcorn in the stadium (twas a roller derby bout) was smelling super good... I turned to my "date" and told her I wanted popcorn and she said..well go on get you some!

Smh

[imperfect_cupcake]

Just out of curiosity, how do you talk about your experiences, travels, journeys and adventures you've had without mentioning your exes???? Do I just pretend I did them all on my own or... ?

[Gráinne]

Just out of curiosity, how do you talk about your experiences, travels, journeys and adventures you've had without mentioning your exes???? Do I just pretend I did them all on my own or... ?

I usually say something like "I went basket weaving in Burma" without adding "...and my ex was there". Not that I've had all that many ex's, or that there's much story to tell, but especially on early dates, I tend to leave that off unless asked. Past relationships seem to come up as a new interest is getting "serious", in my experience (such as it is).

[imperfect_cupcake]

I guess that just seems wierd to me.
I don't say "I went to Guatemala"
I'm usually telling a story about something that actually happened. Like "when I was living Guatemala, there was this little girl named Maria age 10 who used to come and sell us breckfast, I often spent my breckfast with her and James did these cool little poitraits of her that she loved so she'd give me help with learning how to work the wood clay oven. Maria was a sharp little girl. You should have seen her face when she saw me using a machete. She rolled her eyes at me. She would up teaching both of us because James was worse than me. But now I can say I was taught how to use a machete by a 10 year old girl!"

Or I'll tell the story about how james and I went up the local volcano to get mescal spikes off the cacti and all the things that happened. And when I came back, James carved a little head into one and I used to put it through my tongue piercing hole to scare the little kids that used to play on our hammock for fun, but they were never scared, they just rolled their eyes at the gringo.

If I left the other person out of that story to make someon else feel comfortable and retell it like I was alone...? That seems really fucked up.

It seems misleading and bizarre to leave out the fact in that story my ex was with me.
Are people so delicate that the mere mention that I've had relationships and lovers and sex partners before them going to upset them?

I've only had two people out of many ever get upset that I've talked about exes. One wound up being extremely controlling and I wasn't allowed to bring up any male ex at all in a story (I was bisexual from 14-25) so I actually had to change them or not tell them. And the other had pretty heavy social anxiety and was very insecure about any and all of my exes. They were nervous I was comparing them to my exes and I finally broke things off because it made me nuts.

I've been dating, having sex partners and romantic partners since I was 14. I am 45. Most of my life have had other people in it. Most of my traveling and living involved other people. If it's ok to say I went to Berma with a friend there, and it's not ok to say I went to see a temple with someone I was having sex with and tell the story.... But I have to leave them out simply because our relationship included sex? Or maybe sex and romance? But it's ok to mention someone I *wasnt* having sex with? Even though the story has *no* sex in it??? That seems kinda fucked up and pretty weird. and frankly catering to someone's ideas about purity - like I've never been with someone before.

I've personally never had that problem on dates. And if someone asks me to not mention them, a red flag goes up for me about insecurity.

But perhaps it's because I love story exchange. Telling stories is how I communicate. It would seem like a bizzare lie of omission to tell it wrong. And the main reason I am with someone for company is to hear their stories. Their ideas. Their life. Hearing about their lovers and exes and play partners is just part of who they are for me. It's all people and experiences who made them who they are now. Leaving information out just because you had sex with that person seems pretty random to my mind.

[LOQUI]

...perhaps, if the story is tell as hb did, it might appears more easy to 'digest'?
...perhaps, the frequent use of the prefix ex in a statement is what might cause some hmm discomfort (?) in the other? If it is just another name, then it is up to your date to decide to explore a little bit more to find out whom ___name__ is or was? Idk...just pondering...

[JDeere]

Only tell small basic things and avoid ex talk as much as possible.

[Gráinne]

I guess that just seems wierd to me.
I don't say "I went to Guatemala"
I'm usually telling a story about something that actually happened. Like "when I was living Guatemala, there was this little girl named Maria age 10 who used to come and sell us breckfast, I often spent my breckfast with her and James did these cool little poitraits of her that she loved so she'd give me help with learning how to work the wood clay oven. Maria was a sharp little girl. You should have seen her face when she saw me using a machete. She rolled her eyes at me. She would up teaching both of us because James was worse than me. But now I can say I was taught how to use a machete by a 10 year old girl!"

Or I'll tell the story about how james and I went up the local volcano to get mescal spikes off the cacti and all the things that happened. And when I came back, James carved a little head into one and I used to put it through my tongue piercing hole to scare the little kids that used to play on our hammock for fun, but they were never scared, they just rolled their eyes at the gringo.

If I left the other person out of that story to make someon else feel comfortable and retell it like I was alone...? That seems really fucked up.

It seems misleading and bizarre to leave out the fact in that story my ex was with me.
Are people so delicate that the mere mention that I've had relationships and lovers and sex partners before them going to upset them?

I've only had two people out of many ever get upset that I've talked about exes. One wound up being extremely controlling and I wasn't allowed to bring up any male ex at all in a story (I was bisexual from 14-25) so I actually had to change them or not tell them. And the other had pretty heavy social anxiety and was very insecure about any and all of my exes. They were nervous I was comparing them to my exes and I finally broke things off because it made me nuts.

I've been dating, having sex partners and romantic partners since I was 14. I am 45. Most of my life have had other people in it. Most of my traveling and living involved other people. If it's ok to say I went to Berma with a friend there, and it's not ok to say I went to see a temple with someone I was having sex with and tell the story.... But I have to leave them out simply because our relationship included sex? Or maybe sex and romance? But it's ok to mention someone I *wasnt* having sex with? Even though the story has *no* sex in it??? That seems kinda fucked up and pretty weird. and frankly catering to someone's ideas about purity - like I've never been with someone before.

I've personally never had that problem on dates. And if someone asks me to not mention them, a red flag goes up for me about insecurity.

But perhaps it's because I love story exchange. Telling stories is how I communicate. It would seem like a bizzare lie of omission to tell it wrong. And the main reason I am with someone for company is to hear their stories. Their ideas. Their life. Hearing about their lovers and exes and play partners is just part of who they are for me. It's all people and experiences who made them who they are now. Leaving information out just because you had sex with that person seems pretty random to my mind.

I think that's different. I believe what's inappropriate and off-putting (for me, anyway) is a first or early date with someone who goes off on an ex, with every other sentence something like "Let me tell you what that *female dog* did to me...!" That makes me think that I'm the next target of her anger.

In HB's story, the ex happened to be there but wasn't the focus of the story-which was Guatemala in general and the little girl in particular. That wouldn't bother me.

I guess I could see myself saying "I did basket weaving in Burma with my then-partner (ex-husband, whatever), but personally I dislike talking about people who aren't present and possibly not in my life anymore. When the talk does come around to exes, I tend to talk about lessons learned and how I grew personally in the relationship, not about the other person. I think it's just personal preference.

[imperfect_cupcake]

Oh you mean when someone rants about a recent ex during a date when you've not talked to them before?
Ok, I can see that.
But to me that's not *mentioning* an ex.
And yeah, personal preference. Of course. I guess because I do talk to people a LOT before I go on a date, that the first date isn't really "an interview"
And I like personal life stories. With lots of detail. People are my books. I love their lives and their stories. Including their relationships, their travels, their loves, their failures, their successes in work/school/love... It's who they are. What they have lived.
i don't talk about "lessons" because that emotional content to me and to me that's quite personal. How I *feel* is reserved for further down the line. Stories are organic to me, they come up without reserve.

And most of my exes are in my life. They are my friends.

[imperfect_cupcake]

Only tell small basic things and avoid ex talk as much as possible.

So, incredibly, not me LOL.

[SleepyButch]

Oh you mean when someone rants about a recent ex during a date when you've not talked to them before?
Ok, I can see that.
But to me that's not *mentioning* an ex.
And yeah, personal preference. Of course. I guess because I do talk to people a LOT before I go on a date, that the first date isn't really "an interview"
And I like personal life stories. With lots of detail. People are my books. I love their lives and their stories. Including their relationships, their travels, their loves, their failures, their successes in work/school/love... It's who they are. What they have lived.
i don't talk about "lessons" because that emotional content to me and to me that's quite personal. How I *feel* is reserved for further down the line. Stories are organic to me, they come up without reserve.

And most of my exes are in my life. They are my friends.

I think it's great that most of your exes are friends. You probably started out that way so why not still be that afterwards. That is not the case for me and not because I hate any of them because I don't, it's just that we never kept in contact after the breakup. Well one is starting to email me again and so we may for some type of friendship. Who knows.

I do get that many of your life experiences occur when you are with your ex. That those times help shape you into the person you are now, whether they be good or bad. But for me personally, I don't want to hear about your ex this or your ex that when we are trying to first get to know each other. Sure, if you want to tell me about them down the line, I have no problem with that. I think that if you are on a date with me, let's talk about me and let's talk about you. I'm sure you have stuff you can tell me without bringing an ex into the mix.

And if you are talking about your ex every other sentence, we probably won't have a second date so go ahead and let it fly. I'll think you aren't over them and that will make me run far away. And if you bad mouth your ex, it will make me wonder how you will speak of me to others. Not a good sign either.

[JDeere]

So, incredibly, not me LOL.

I know, everyone is different.

[C0LLETTE]

"You remind me so much of my ex. I loved her so much, still do; have no idea why she dumped me. Btw, can you recommend a good lube for older women?"

[SleepyButch]

"You remind me so much of my ex. I loved her so much, still do; have no idea why she dumped me. Btw, can you recommend a good lube for older women?"

I've actually been told that I remind someone of their ex... oh but it was in a good way... lol

I mean sure, we do kind of like similar traits in people so I guess there may be similarities but still.. :blink:

[imperfect_cupcake]

I think it's great that most of your exes are friends. You probably started out that way so why not still be that afterwards. That is not the case for me and not because I hate any of them because I don't, it's just that we never kept in contact after the breakup. Well one is starting to email me again and so we may for some type of friendship. Who knows.

I do get that many of your life experiences occur when you are with your ex. That those times help shape you into the person you are now, whether they be good or bad. But for me personally, I don't want to hear about your ex this or your ex that when we are trying to first get to know each other. Sure, if you want to tell me about them down the line, I have no problem with that. I think that if you are on a date with me, let's talk about me and let's talk about you. I'm sure you have stuff you can tell me without bringing an ex into the mix.

“I want to know about you, but not your exes, I don’t want to hear about your exes, tell me about *you*”

kind of makes about as much sense to me as “tell me all about you! I wanna know all about you, but don’t mention school. I don’t want to know anything about school or any educational intistutions you’ve been in. Don’t tell me about school, tell me about you!”

Huh?

I guess because I communicate in stories, not factiods. I don’t say things like “I needle point” to me that tells the listener actually *nothing* about me. Zippity do dah.
What I will do, instead of giving them a factiod is tell them the stories of my three favourite needlepoints. But I don’t make things for myself. I only make things for others. So all three will include the *story* of the needlepoint.
The first is a waterfall I saw - I saw pure lines of blue. My hamster, Bearnard, died and I was very upset. So I made him a burial cloth of canvas needle pointed with an abstract of a water falling on it, my expression about losing such a lovely but grumpy little bastard.
I also made a brocade cover for a stool depicting musical notes like birds on a wire, music symbolizing communication. It was for my best mate when the antique stool her gramma gave her was scorched in a house fire. She was really depressed and I wanted to show her new things could come of old - shes a musician.
The third was a black velvet wallet I made and needlepoint beaded a sequence of DNA across it for B (my first female long term partner) because after a three year long battle, she got published in Nature and I wanted to make something meaningful to celebrate her success.

that tell someone way *way* mare than “I like to needle point”. The fact that it has a story that includes an ex? *Really?* That would be me telling someone about my ex? That story is about me and my love of needle point and my way of interpreting art and my relationships with people and how I see them and what kind of friend I am. That is not about my ex at all. So not telling someone a story with my ex in it, I would have to cut out the story of one of my favourite pieces and why I made it. That just seems bizarre.

That’s like me telling someone “don’t tell me the story of one of the best pieces of music you wrote and why it’s so amazing, just because you wrote it for an ex when her mom died." That just makes very little sense to me. Or to "well just leave out the info that it was for your ex because her mom died." That just seems… bizarre. And hacks %50 of the information (that you loved her a lot, you are kind, you feel creative about your partners, you are empathetic and giving) from the story.

A story about writing a song for an ex when her mom died would make me go to mush. Not make me jealous or competitive. What a beautiful and lovely thing to do. How wonderful to have loved someone so much.


And if you are talking about your ex every other sentence, we probably won't have a second date so go ahead and let it fly. I'll think you aren't over them and that will make me run far away. And if you bad mouth your ex, it will make me wonder how you will speak of me to others. Not a good sign either.

For me that depends. I've had a relationships based on friendship and sex (and that's all) with people who aren't over their exes. I get it. I'm happy to be a friend and talk about it with them if they are real about it. People have done it for me. And there have been times when I am still hurting and I get together with someone else who still is and we have sex, go on pic nics and make each other laugh and sort through it. I'm grateful for those. I'm Im not in a head space or emotional space for that, no, I don't want to be in that position. So for me, that really depends on what I want at that point in life.

If someone bad mouths their ex, most of the time that I've heard it, it comes from a place where they were shat on. I'm friends with the people who treated me well. even if we didn't start as friends & sex (though that's rare but there is couple and they are diamond friends. and their girlfriends and wives rock cause they have good taste ;) ). I also expect to hear good stories too. If there are no good stories it means that person was a complete fucking prick (and I've dated a couple. whoosh. holy *crap* life is not full of kind kittens and puppy dogs!) or their view is skewed. the only way to find out if their view is skewed is to hear if that's the way they talk about everyone they have been with - BIG RED FLAG.

And if I am friends with someone after, because when we broke it was just because it wasn't a great fit in other areas aside from friendship? they won't be badmouthing me. Probably mention some of my more irritating traits LOL but so what? I know I have them. It's not a secret or a surprise... by *any* means I can be annoying!!

:)

[imperfect_cupcake]

"You remind me so much of my ex. I loved her so much, still do; have no idea why she dumped me. Btw, can you recommend a good lube for older women?"

1) um. ok. better than "you remind me of my sister" which I *have* heard as a pick up line... *jaw drop* ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

2) ok, obviously not over ex. possible sex friend if this is a good chemisty click. save for that first line. the two together? mnnnnnnnooooooooooooot so much! lol

3) sure. J-Lube. fags use it. you mix it up to your own consistency needs. Long viscosity life. good luck with that.

that's a pretty good one Collette! I can see someone saying that! lol

[SleepyButch]

“I want to know about you, but not your exes, I don’t want to hear about your exes, tell me about *you*”

kind of makes about as much sense to me as “tell me all about you! I wanna know all about you, but don’t mention school. I don’t want to know anything about school or any educational intistutions you’ve been in. Don’t tell me about school, tell me about you!”

Huh?

I guess because I communicate in stories, not factiods. I don’t say things like “I needle point” to me that tells the listener actually *nothing* about me. Zippity do dah.
What I will do, instead of giving them a factiod is tell them the stories of my three favourite needlepoints. But I don’t make things for myself. I only make things for others. So all three will include the *story* of the needlepoint.
The first is a waterfall I saw - I saw pure lines of blue. My hamster, Bearnard, died and I was very upset. So I made him a burial cloth of canvas needle pointed with an abstract of a water falling on it, my sadness.
I also made a brocade cover for a stool depicting musical notes like birds on a wire, music symbolizing communication. It was for my best mate when the antique stool her gramma gave her was scorched in a house fire. She was really depressed and I wanted to show her new things could come of old.
The third was a black velvet wallet I made and needlepoint beaded a sequence of DNA across it for B (my first female long term partner) because after a three year long battle, she got published in Nature and I wanted to make something meaningful to celebrate her success.

that tell someone way *way* mare than “I like to needle point”. The fact that it has a story that includes an ex? *Really?* That would be me telling someone about my ex? That story is about me and my love of needle point and my way of interpreting art and my relationships with people and how I see them and what kind of friend I am. That is not about my ex at all. So not telling someone a story with my ex in it, I would have to cut out the story of one of my favourite pieces and why I made it. That just seems bizarre.

That’s like me telling someone “don’t tell me the story of one of the best pieces of music you wrote and why it’s so amazing, just because you wrote it for an ex when her mom died." That just makes very little sense to me. Or to "well just leave out the info that it was for your ex because her mom died." That just seems… bizarre. And hacks %50 of the information (that you loved her a lot, you are kind, you feel creative about your partners, you are empathetic and giving) from the story.

A story about writing a song for an ex when her mom died would make me go to mush. Not make me jealous or competitive. What a beautiful and lovely thing to do. How wonderful to have loved someone so much.




For me that depends. I've had a relationships based on friendship and sex (and that's all) with people who aren't over their exes. I get it. I'm happy to be a friend and talk about it with them if they are real about it. People have done it for me. And there have been times when I am still hurting and I get together with someone else who still is and we have sex, go on pic nics and make each other laugh and sort through it. I'm grateful for those.

If someone bad mouths their ex, most of the time that I've heard it, it comes from a place where they were shat on. I'm friends with the people who treated me well. even if we didn't start as friends & sex (though that's rare but there is couple and they are diamond friends. and their girlfriends and wives rock cause they have good taste ;) ). I also expect to hear good stories too. If there are no good stories it means that person was a complete fucking prick (and I've dated a couple. whoosh. holy *crap* life is not full of kind kittens and puppy dogs!) or their view is skewed. the only way to find out if their view is skewed is to hear if that's the way they talk about everyone they have been with - BIG RED FLAG.

And if I am friends with someone after, because when we broke it was just because it wasn't a great fit in other areas aside from friendship? they won't be badmouthing me. Probably mention some of my more irritating traits LOL but so what? I know I have them. It's not a secret or a surprise... by *any* means I can be annoying!!

:)


So We disagree on this. Obviously. I understand what you are saying. I really do even if I don't agree with your analogy of exes and school being in the same category... well maybe as life experiences they are.

I guess what it all comes down to is the two people who are having the conversation and how they feel about the subject of exes.


On a side note...do you really needlepoint?

....and I like how you put the little smiley at the end of your post.... thank you for that lol.

[C0LLETTE]

If I understood the thread title correctly, it's about things one should never say. So far you've got me successfully using crappy pick up lines and just a water tap away from the slippery slope... In some circles that means I'm half way to a nice pity fuck.

[imperfect_cupcake]

I'm sorry collette, you've used "you look like my sister" as a pick up line?? wow. did it work?

Otherwise that went right over my head...

[imperfect_cupcake]

So We disagree on this. Obviously. I understand what you are saying. I really do even if I don't agree with your analogy of exes and school being in the same category... well maybe as life experiences they are.

I guess what it all comes down to is the two people who are having the conversation and how they feel about the subject of exes.


On a side note...do you really needlepoint?

....and I like how you put the little smiley at the end of your post.... thank you for that lol.

DING DING DING - that is *exactly* how I view my exes! as part of *my* life experience! Aside from the friendships I have with them. The stories *are* stories of *just* that. Life expereince to explain who, what, why, where, when that I am. Amor Fati. Love of fate. Nietzsche wrote about if you truly accept who you are, you embrace all of your experiences that brought you to now for they made you. I try very hard to live by that - "Amor Fati"

How on earth else would I be viewing them??? I'm really baffled at to what else that would be.

I thought that little face would bring joy and pleasure and world happiness. I'm glad you can see that.

PS - um. yeah, I do needlepoint, actually. those are true stories about my needlecraft.

[C0LLETTE]

No, never have used that line. Don't have a sister and I'm a lousy liar.
I meant that the thread is about lines one probably shouldn't use and you seemed, overall, to see some benefit and possibly even success in the lines I had jokingly proposed as being sure tracks to failure.

Perhaps I have misread you, misinterpreted the intent of the thread, or just communicated poorly...in which case I do apologise.

[imperfect_cupcake]

No, never have used that line. Don't have a sister and I'm a lousy liar.
I meant that the thread is about lines one probably shouldn't use and you seemed, overall, to see some benefit and possibly even success in the lines I had jokingly proposed as being sure tracks to failure.

Perhaps I have misread you, misinterpreted the intent of the thread, or just communicated poorly...in which case I do apologise.

Oh I thought someone had actually said that to you.
and yeah, you misread me. I did say the two lines together would be a big fat no to me. and the third, on it's own, sure, why not. but as part of what could have been said here's the advice and good luck with it (aka go away)

But obviously my own humour/thinking someone said it to you/analysis didn't translate. feel free to completely ignore me.

[imperfect_cupcake]

Ooooooh... What do I win??? And your face always brings me joy and pleasure and I'm sure world happiness!

bring "I masterfully understood your convoluted tangent story and constant babble" in exchange for one demand that might piss me off. You are also welcome to dance in irritating lawn mower like arm thrusts and sing song "yaaaaaaaaah ha ha, you gotta!"

[SleepyButch]

bring "I masterfully understood your convoluted tangent story and constant babble" in exchange for one demand that might piss me off. You are also welcome to dance in irritating lawn mower like arm thrusts and sing song "yaaaaaaaaah ha ha, you gotta!"

It wasn't easy but I get it.. I get it! lol

I don't know if you dancing like an irritating lawn mower is what I had in mind for my prize but it's a start.

[imperfect_cupcake]

well, some people think its fun to make a femme huffy while making them do a dare. I get the thrill of that. But then, I'm 12.

[SleepyButch]

well, some people think its fun to make a femme huffy while making them do a dare. I get the thrill of that. But then, I'm 12.


Oh don't get me wrong... I do like seeing a good femme foot stomp from time to time but I always want more. What can I say?


So that I'm not derailing this thread too much...

Something you should never say on a date to someone (and no I haven't said!)


Damn, I can't believe I got a real date! When I get home, my mom is going to be so proud....

[imperfect_cupcake]

things you should never say to me, personally (and yes they all happen):

- talk about what celeb you want to fuck :blink:

- Ask me, after me telling you that monogamy is a commitment for me, that in order to give you a "chance," at the cake part of our first date, I should be monogamous with you now, since we are now "dating" and you only monogamously date. That waiting for both people to be ready for a commitment is unfair.:firetruck:

- "just come casual. you don't need to dress up. just come in whatever. I'm good with regular clothes (meaning, their clothes), why do you need to dress up? it's just coffee. " *stabs out own eyes in frustration* why do butches here do this to me? I need 90 minutes to clean up from school (bathe, shave, put on make up, do hair, put on something that isn't oil wrecked sports clothes, my school wear). argh!!! NO.

- the "I want a date but I'm too shy to ask for one so i'm going to make a massage appointment" ploy. Yes, I actually DO know that's what you are doing. And boy are you going to get a shock when you actually get round to asking me... when I tell you I can't date you because you are now a patient and even if I don't see you as a patient again, I need to legally have a year between out last clinic appointment and our first date. SUPRISE! Don't cha just wish you'd sucked it up and asked me?? :D

- "well, to be totally honest, the reason I stopped off at home was to borrow money from my girlfriend and the reason we ate pizza in the van on the warf with the back doors open to the view (something I thought was rather cool, I enjoyed that...) was because I didnt want anyone in the pizza place to see me with you."
"Oh. Ok. Im just going to get us beers. Stay right there" And I got my coat from the check, next to the bar, walked out through the fire door by the bar and caught the first bus going anywhere on the street outside.

[Sweet Bliss]

Telling me all about your therapy sessions ... not coffee date conversation material.

Or spending the entire date telling me how amazing/ brilliant /famous you are. Although the dead owl landing in your arms during a protest march captivated my rapt attention. Then I knew you were an oracle.

Taking me for a hike and expecting me to "put out" in a public area with children in the area. Are you insane? Not a rhetorical question. Really. Are you frickin' insane? I don't even know your address!

Crying and getting angry at me because it's your birthday tomorrow and I didn't buy you dessert after dinner. One.... you never told me it was your birthday .... two... I'm not your exe that used your money to buy your birthday presents.... three ... you are a therapist. Take your own advice.

Lesson 371 don't be friends with a therapist who needs therapy.

[cinnamongrrl]

bumping! Cuz it's my vicarious thrill.....(f)

[Gemme]

Telling me all about your therapy sessions ... not coffee date conversation material.

Or spending the entire date telling me how amazing/ brilliant /famous you are. Although the dead owl landing in your arms during a protest march captivated my rapt attention. Then I knew you were an oracle.

Taking me for a hike and expecting me to "put out" in a public area with children in the area. Are you insane? Not a rhetorical question. Really. Are you frickin' insane? I don't even know your address!

Crying and getting angry at me because it's your birthday tomorrow and I didn't buy you dessert after dinner. One.... you never told me it was your birthday .... two... I'm not your exe that used your money to buy your birthday presents.... three ... you are a therapist. Take your own advice.

Lesson 371 don't be friends with a therapist who needs therapy.

Oh yeah. Major red flag there.

So much for patient confidentiality, huh?

[MrSunshine]

I'm sure if someone said they wanted to eat my face, I wouldn't be very happy. (Can't get out of zombie mode today) THANKS OREMA!
Now if they just started eating it, that would just be rude!

[C0LLETTE]

"You remind me of a few of my exes"

[cinnamongrrl]

Or.....you remind me of my sister/mother/aunt.

You know right then and there that you will NOT be doing sex....and if you did...that would be sooo creepy...just sayin'.

[cinnamongrrl]

Bumping for the new peeps...and cuz its my vicarious thrill...

[Ascot]

"I'll have the asparagus. "

[little_ms_sunshyne]

Oh...I have many to say but think I will just observe.

These are hilarious!

[C0LLETTE]

"Would you mind grabbing the cheque? I just realised I'm supposed to meet someone at the bar tonight and I'm already an half hour late. I'll try to call you sometime next week, if I can."

[Orema]

"Your head would look good in my freezer."

[kittygrrl]

you remind me of my..
(mom)
(sister)
(ex gf)

[A. Spectre]

"Wow! You kiss just like my sister!"

[MysticOceansFL]

Comparing anything or anyone towards your date is just plain no no!

[CherryWine]

"I'm sorry, but you are going to have to climb in on the driver's side. The passenger door doesn't open."

[Daniela]

This wasn't really a date...but telling my dad that you used to beat people with soap-stuffed socks when you were in the military does not go over well at all.

[-Red-Flag-]

Oh, I love this place. It was my ex's favorite restaurant.

[Daniela]

If you have an awkward first kiss, do not blame it on your date by saying their mouth might be too big. :|

[Happy_Go_Lucky]

Excuse me, are you going to eat that? Because..... my kids are waiting in the car."

[A. Spectre]

You're my idea of the perfect woman...only bigger. :|

[Feasting Panther]

I'm going on a date this Sunday, I don't drink Alcohol, she loves to drink and we are going to a Venue..
I also find her Irish Accent so strong i cant understand her at times, so then i feel embarrassed, but she is cuddly and lovely , inked all over (so i believe).
She also doesn't give a s##t that i'm M-T-F, had no idea till i told her, as i felt it was best to be honest.
So as long as can try really hard to understand her, which will be harder after shes had about 10 pints of ale, all should be good.
Trying to be aware and accepting of peoples cultural and linguistic differences can be hard sometimes.
Thick IRISH BROGUE, Is another language !!!

[-Red-Flag-]

I forgot my wallet. Can you cover the tab?

[MsTinkerbelly]

A butch said to me...

I don't know why i asked you out, i usually only date other butches. :confused:

[MysticOceansFL]

Never ask any classy Femme her age!

[Gemme]

Never ask any classy Femme her age!

Only the classless ones?

[MysticOceansFL]

Only the classless ones?


I consider A/all Femmes classy!

[Talon]

I want you to be the mother of my children.

[Daniela]

I consider A/all Femmes classy!

Very smart answer...lol :)

[Satiated]

Date in question asked: "Is your hair the same color, as your pubis."
I responded: "Maybe, btw are you packing a softie, or are those bunched up grannie panties."

[Happy_Go_Lucky]

I can make people's death look like an accident....

[kittygrrl]

Do you carry? (followed by)
I prefer knives

(this really happened!)

[C0LLETTE]

"Hi, nice to meet you. Did you know that being Gay is a sin and you are going to go straight to Hell when you die?"

[Satiated]

Date: "Can we share a salad, I'm on a diet."
Me: "So is your wallet."

[Evolved]

"You don't look like a lesbian"

[A. Spectre]

".......hang on, I'll be right back, need to check in with my parole officer."

[-Red-Flag-]

Oh, I took the liberty of ordering what I think you should eat and drink.

[Satiated]

"My apt is being fumigated, how about fast-food and a hand special." (wink wink)

[uglyboi]

There is this movie I want to see but my mom said I couldn't go by myself.

[Kenna]

(I was told this on the first date of someone I had just met) ...
I need your social security number for my life insurance paperwork at work.

Me: :| :| Don't you think it's a bit early for that? (Thinking to myself it was a good idea I had subscribed to LifeLock identity protection.)

[Kenna]

Things you should never say on a first date.

"Wow, you look soo much like my ex!"

Being that I'm a Dept Of Welfare Caseworker and a "Mandatory Reporter of Abuse", My head spun with this one...
"My first kid is an angel but my other one (5 year old), you can see the evil in his eyes. He's pure evil and I just can't love him."
My response: You know I'm a caseworker?
Them: yeah...(in a very serious voice) maybe I can sign him over to you?

[Kenna]

First date after very short courtship and zero intimacy...
I was told...
"My ex wanted me to use a huge Kong on her ...(me suddenly with a mental image of the red Kong dog toys I once gave as treats for a friend's chocolate lab, they continue to say)...I think with your small body it might split you or hurt you, but I can bring it with me next time if you want me to use it?

My puzzled, shocked response: What's a Kong?

It's a really huge strapon. Do you want to try it? I like using it in women, my ex LOVED it, but it might be too big for you. I also like women to use a strapon in me. Would you do that for me? I was with my ex for 17 years but I've only recently started strapping. The last girl I was with, the massage therapist I told you about, loved giving and receiving...sex with her was SOOOO HOT we could go for HOURS!!... Should I bring the Kong? If you're worried it might hurt, I will take it slow and use lots of lube.

(I was too red faced embarrassed to respond. I've had MANY healthy conversations about Butch or Femme cock but I'd never been approached this way, especially on a first date about the Ex's favorite strapon....)

[Happy_Go_Lucky]

Oh My God! Check out our bartender. She is soooooo hot!"


How awful! Who would say such a thing? *innocently shakes head

[Kenna]

"Your son is now my son. In the summer I'm going to buy us airplane tickets to go see him in Colorado so you can intoduce me to him. Does he have an extra bedroom where we can stay?"

:| :|
I about choked on my sweet tea! Since my son was 6 years old, I learned that I do NOT believe in a "Revolving Door" in a child's life, even if that child is now an adult. If *you* haven't earned the right to be introduced and I'm not confident that *you* will be around FOREVER and *you* haven't shown me that you're a stable individual, *you* won't be permitted anywhere near my son...or my nieces for that matter. Stability and Security is the key here. If someone I'm dating is on a "just dating" status ...or in the early phases of getting to know each other...my kids are not on the dating agenda....and I raised my kid alone for 17 years, he doesn't need anyone to "claim him" as their own just because they are dating me.
These are my beliefs...
A child's mind is very fragile when it comes to making bonds with new people in their lives... and a bond with their parent(s) should never be tested by someone that's on a Revolving Door status. It plays too much with a child's emotions if they start to bond with their parent's new dating interests, then when the dating thing doesn't work out...that leaves the kid with a void they don't understand or could be very hurtful to them. Sometimes when a relationship ends, there is some sort of grieving that takes places. Either grieving the loss of a friendship or intimacy or bonding connection...I'm fiercely protective of my kids and will try to prevent them from grieving such things.

[Daniela]

Don't jump up, yell "Time to launch the torpedos!" and run for the bathroom.

[Evolved]

"You remind me of my ex."