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Kobi
11-10-2013, 05:25 PM
I don't know if anyone else is following this bizarre case. With every bit of info that comes to light, my reaction becomes more and more :blink:

Is it harassment? Bullying? Weird locker room/football culture crap? Totally bizarre male bonding/brotherhood thing? Racism? Now, there are rumors it was a "toughen the guy up" thing. And, it has morphed into the "victim" now taunting the "perpetrator".

Here is the latest:


MIAMI (AP) -- Suspended Miami Dolphins guard Richie Incognito says teammate Jonathan Martin sent him a threatening text message as an apparent joke only a week before their relationship became the subject of a harassment case that has prompted an NFL investigation.

In an interview with Fox Sports televised Sunday, Incognito said he never took the threat seriously. Incognito said he regrets the racist and profane language he used with Martin, but said it stemmed from a culture of locker-room ''brotherhood,'' not bullying.

''A week before this went down, Jonathan Martin texted me on my phone - 'I will murder your whole ... family,''' Incognito said, quoting Martin as using a profanity. ''Now did I think Jonathan Martin was going to murder my family? Not one bit. ... I knew it was coming from a brother. I knew it was coming from a friend. I knew it was coming from a teammate. That just puts in context how we communicate with one another.''

Incognito said Martin sent him a friendly text four days after leaving the team to undergo counseling for emotional issues. The message came on the heels of the Dolphins' overtime victory against Cincinnati.

''Wassup man? The world's gone crazy lol. I'm good tho congrats on the win,'' Martin said in a text verified by Fox Sports. ''Yeah I'm good man. It's insane bro but just know I don't blame you guys at all. It's just the culture around football and the locker room got to me a little.''

Martin left the team two weeks ago, and his attorney alleges the second-year pro was harassed daily by teammates, including Incognito. Martin hasn't spoken publicly but will discuss the case late next week with a special investigator hired by the league.

''This isn't an issue about bullying,'' Incognito told Fox. ''This is an issue of my and Jon's relationship. You can ask anyone in the Miami Dolphins' locker room who had Jon Martin's back the absolute most, and they'll undoubtedly tell you me.

''All this stuff coming out, it speaks to the culture of our locker room, it speaks to culture of our closeness, it speaks to the culture of our brotherhood.''

Incognito's phone showed 1,142 text messages between the two players over the past year, Fox reported.

The network said Incognito declined to answer only one question: Did coaches order him to toughen up Martin? The NFL will investigate the role of coach Joe Philbin, his staff and Miami management in the case.

Incognito is white and Martin is biracial. Teammates both black and white have said Incognito is not a racist, and they've been more supportive of the veteran guard than they have of Martin.

Incognito acknowledged leaving a voicemail for Martin in April in which he used a racist term, threatened to kill his teammate and threatened to slap Martin's mother.

''When I see those words come up across the screen, I'm embarrassed,'' said Incognito, adding that Martin used the same racist term ''a lot.''

''I'm embarrassed by my actions. But what I want people to know is the way Jonathan and the rest of the offensive line and our teammates communicate. It's vulgar. It's not right. ... I understand why a lot of eyebrows get raised when people don't know how Jon and I communicate to one another.''
Incognito said he never sensed that football or the locker-room culture were getting to Martin.

''As his best friend on the team, that's what has me miffed - how I missed this,'' Incognito said. ''I never saw it coming.''

Long labeled one of the NFL's dirtiest players, Incognito acknowledged his reputation for out-of-bounds behavior - and the impact the much-quoted, threatening voicemail has had on his image.

''It sounds terrible. It sounds like I'm a racist pig. It sounds like I'm a meathead. It sounds a lot of things that it's not. ... If you go just by all the knucklehead stuff I've done in the past, you're sitting in your home and thinking, 'This guy is a loose cannon. This guy is a terrible person. This guy is a racist.' That couldn't be farther from the truth.''

Incognito said if he met with Martin and his family, he would apologize for anything they took as malicious.

http://sports.yahoo.com/news/incognito-says-martin-sent-him-173655999--nfl.html

Martina
11-10-2013, 05:46 PM
I think it's bullying. I have been following it. A lot of the remarks Incognito made include calling Martin "weird."

Martin went to Stanford, and his parents are professionals who went to Harvard. One is a professor, and the other a lawyer.

My guess is he is on the sensitive or geeky side. Not a fucking animal like Incognito. The advice people gave him was to to give as good as he got. Respond in kind. Now people are taking his efforts and turning them back on him.

My guess is that while he is a football player, he is not a fighter. Doesn't like it, doesn't want to.

Incognito is a psycho. The fact that the team, the press and the fans seem to be siding with him is a sign of how sexist and homophobic the culture of football is.

A sensitive dude better also be willing to kick your ass. If he's not, then he's going to be chewed up and spit out.

I think Martin was not used to this shit and it affected him deeply. I am glad he made it public. I hope he's got massive amounts of support.

Cin
11-10-2013, 05:55 PM
An interesting twist of weirdness from a radio host about this incident.

Radio host Damon Bruce: Sports are set to the dial of men.

Sports are for men, and Richie Incognito is a man, acting manly in a man’s world. And if you don’t like it, ladies, you can lump it. That is the short version of a nine-minute tirade against women in sports this week by KNBR sports radio host Damon Bruce.

Bruce is mad at women because women are to blame for the suspension of Miami Dolphins guard Richie Incognito after his alleged (and apparently legendary) harassment, bullying and threats against teammate Jonathan Martin drove Martin from the team.

Here’s how the tirade starts:

“A lot of sports has lost its way and I’m gonna tell you, part of the reason is because we’ve got women giving us directions. For some of you, this is going to come across as very misogynistic. I don’t care, because I’m very right. I'm willing to share my sandbox, as long as you remember you're in my box. I didn’t slip into your box....”

Allowing women to “slip into the box” of professional sports has pretty much ruined sports, Bruce thinks. It has feminized men and made it hard for men to bond the way they like to bond—by being assholes. That’s what Jonathan Martin didn’t understand. Incognito was trying to bond with him when he called him racial slurs and threatened to rape his sister.

Here’s Bruce’s sage advice to women sports journalists who can’t hack it: “If sports get too gruesome for you, go write a restaurant column. Go write a housekeeping column.”

Sweet of him to be concerned.

http://www.alternet.org/tea-party-and-right/who-chief-right-wing-wacko-week-it-might-surprise-you

Martina
11-10-2013, 06:29 PM
I just googled Martin and found this:

Martin has a total of nine relatives who graduated from Harvard including his grandfather, a professor in international development, and his maternal great grandfather, one of a dozen African-American students there in the 1920s

He majored in ancient history. He's said to be soft-spoken. Wanna bet Martin's just a sweet smart well-adjusted guy with the good sense not to take it anymore?

The twisted white guy's privilege has gotten him none of that. He was bullied as a child and takes any opportunity to hurt and harrass others. He's super angry. He's lost games and jobs because of his anger. He was sent to the Meninger Clinic for anger management at some point, I read.

One person said Richie is really good at seeming reasonable and decent when he gets in trouble and then goes right back out and re-offends. Sounds like a sociopath.

Another thing I read is that there is an unwritten rule that the hazing stops after the first year. I think Martin made it through the first year and expected it to end. When Incognito for some reason kept it up into the second year -- just with Martin -- Martin couldn't take it. Without believing there'd be an end, he just couldn't face going forward.

Incognito needs long-term professional help. What is appalling is all the support he's getting.

JAGG
11-10-2013, 06:36 PM
Incognito is a racist, sexist, overpaid , immature , obese, asswipe, with huge anger management issues. Typical good ole boy syndrome. I agree 100% with every word Shannon Sharpe said about Incognito. I think alot of people should be losing their jobs for allowing this guys behavior to go on for even one day. If I was the owner of the Dolphins , we would be on the hunt for a new coaching staff, and some players would be looking for a new team.

The_Lady_Snow
11-10-2013, 06:58 PM
Incognito is a racist, sexist, overpaid , immature , obese, asswipe, with huge anger management issues. Typical good ole boy syndrome. I agree 100% with every word Shannon Sharpe said about Incognito. I think alot of people should be losing their jobs for allowing this guys behavior to go on for even one day. If I was the owner of the Dolphins , we would be on the hunt for a new coaching staff, and some players would be looking for a new team.


This!!! I feel the only way that the message is ever going to get across to these people is just that, get rid of them and stop allowing, enabling, endorsing disgusting, mean, gross mentality that is being used as a measure of what real men do.


I'm pretty adamant about my belief that if we didn't raise our man cubs to be violent, and showed them more tactile, gentle ways to approach and communicate that this will never change. Sports and competition should be healthy, not some sick form of Gladiator performance where the more violent the surroundings the happier the crowd. The women hate and shenanigans allowed in professional sports is going to HAVE to start with the people who own these behaviours and that is Owners and those who fall behind in the lines of who's in charge, it's time to make them accountable for their inappropriate, unprofessional behaviours...

Kätzchen
11-10-2013, 08:03 PM
I have been following media reports concerning the racilized events pertaining to Incognito and Martin.

I have zero tolerance for prejudical behaviors of the racialized kind.

Most reports and media clips/snippets released by media, to me and in my own personal opinion, are nothing more than an orchestrated act to manage Incognito's offensive behavioral choices and the choices of those who preside over the Miami Dolphins National Football Team. The technical term for this kind of image management is called: Apologia (which is Greek by origin: Aristotilean).

Just to be super clear about Apologia: It's not about apologising for offensive behavioral choices. Apologia is about professionally managing behavioral choices with the hope that an image can be saved and not suffer more impugnment that it already deserves (and more).

JAGG
11-10-2013, 09:00 PM
I hope Roger Goodell makes an example out of Incognito. The Dolphins organization seemed to turn a blind eye to this toxic individual. The fact that a player would get up and walk out and quit as if this was his only recourse, tells me that it has gone on for a long time and he knew he had no where to turn .That the coaches and maybe even the front office would not help him .
With various crimes Incognito got away with , such as the sexual assault of a female volunteer at a Dolphins golf fundraiser, which was reported to Dolphins management (should have called the cops and sued him for 500 million) but nothing ever happened , would probably be a good indicator to Martin that he was on his own .
Professional football players ( all pro athletes) need to understand that it is a privilege to play in the NFL , it's not a right , and that privilege can and should be revoked when your behavior on or off the field is not in keeping with certain standards, which should already be in place. It's a privilege afforded to very few. Basically you make millions of dollars to play a game you love, not a very vital contribution to mankind . I love sports just as much as anyone, I love to play and watch so don't get me wrong , I'm just looking at it from a matter of fact view.
I think Incognito needs a big dose of reality. Let him go find a real job , he doesn't deserve to play in the NFL. And there are alot more just like him out there, in all different sports. And they come in all sizes and colors too.
Martin should be welcomed back with opened arms , and given the rest of Incognito's salary for putting up with the crap he endured. My 2 cents worth. Again. lol

mountainbikedyke
11-10-2013, 09:15 PM
I don't think we've heard ALL of the details (accurate or otherwise) yet, so it will be interesting to see how everything unfolds...

Incognito has always been and will always be a douche bag- THAT we know.

RockOn
11-10-2013, 09:34 PM
I'm with Snowy. Unfortunately, it won't happen. Boys will be boys. Dicks rule.

The American public (only my opinion) is a little too overly-hyped about their football. "Hit him, get him ... rah rah ..." If support became watered down, I don't think these pricks would get away with breaking the law like they do now. (Not all are pricks.)

I had to attend a meeting at our main building a few weeks ago - me and a bunch of guys. After sitting there for 10 minutes listening to the previous weekend's game play by play, I excused myself and did not return for half an hour. Now, when I enter the room for a meeting with the same group, they shut that shit down and we get our business agenda underway.

If you are reading this, you probably think I hate football. Not true. But frankly, I would rather play it with friends than watch it. I have a pretty decent arm- strong and accurate.

I just get tired of listening to men at work and am so glad when the season is over - only for that one reason. It is too much for me.

Kobi
11-10-2013, 10:24 PM
It is bugging me when I hear Martin's teammates take issue with the way he handled the situation. More than one has said things like....he should have kept it in the family and he should have dealt with it like a man. Very much blaming the victim kind of responses.

Also makes me wonder what type of socialization and experiences males are subjected to in the quest to "turn them into a man". I'm thinking there is more going on than I as a female would ever know.

And, more stuff is surfacing about the bizarre brotherhood bonding and rookie hazing in the NFL that is disturbing:


-----------
Richie Incognito stands accused of bullying Jonathan Martin and, as you might expect, is almost universally condemned. But, as you might not expect, some NFL players criticize Martin, too.

Denver Broncos defensive tackle Terrance Knighton thinks Martin broke the code of the locker room by leaving it.

"Everybody in the NFL knows that when you're a young guy and when you're with the O-line you've got it the hardest," Knighton says. "I mean, that's been going on for a while. ... I don't know where they crossed the line at; maybe (Incognito) said something personal.

"I feel like, as players, when it is player-to-player, it can be handled as players. It can be addressed. I don't think (Martin) should have gone outside the team and expressed how things are going in the locker room."

That's not only a player perspective. Duke professor of sports psychology and sports ethics Greg Dale thinks it is a male perspective.

"I was teaching my class at Duke to a group of undergrads, and we were talking about this very thing in class," Dale says. "And the comments from several of the young men were, 'Well, he really needed to man up. He's a man, and you've got to handle that on your own. He shouldn't have walked away.' And that's the core of the problem right there."

Hank Nuwer, associate professor of journalism at Franklin College in Indiana, has written multiple books on hazing, including Wrongs of Passage. He says it is common in athletic hazing cases to blame the victim.

"Either he doesn't measure up or he's a sissy for reporting it," Nuwer says. "Or he doesn't understand that Incognito was just trying to toughen him up. It's always put that way."

Minnesota Vikings linebacker Chad Greenway thinks what some style as bullying is really more like bonding.

"The reality is, as a guy coming in, you have to understand the environment you're in and take it with a grain of salt, be able to dish it out as well as take it and just become part of that group," he says. "I don't know the situation (in Miami), what went on. But it happens. It happens all over the place.

"I think 'bullying' is strongly overused at every age in this country, starting at my 6-year-old. People are just rude. People are mean. I wouldn't call it bullying. I think it's just being ridiculous. But as a grown man, it's more of a brotherhood, ball-busting mentality than I think we're directly coming at somebody."

Traditional hazing in the NFL can range from having rookies carry shoulder pads to the practice field to having them sing college fight songs in the lunchroom to taping them to the goal posts after practice. New Orleans Saints rookies were asked to put pillowcases over their heads during training camp in 1998 and run through dorm hallways while 20 to 30 veterans hit them, some with a bag of coins.

Rich Gannon, a former league MVP, says rookies are often asked to foot the bill for restaurant meals while veterans order bottles of rare champagne and ring up cumulative tabs of $30,000 to $40,000, a high-priced version of the playground bully who steals your lunch money.

"You hear about (bullying) on the school yard, and now you're talking about grown men," former all-pro safety Brian Dawkins says. "A football team is like a family. You spend so much time together. You don't want your teammate to feel like an outcast."

Nuwer says Florida has the nation's toughest law against hazing by students but a flaw in the law is it doesn't mention adults.

But we are talking the workplace" in this case, Nuwer says. "As glamorous a job as an NFL player is, it's still the workplace. And this goes beyond hazing to a kind of harassment that technically could be violating certain labor laws if it holds true. (Or) it could fall under a hate crimes category for use of the N-word."

Washington Redskins linebacker London Fletcher, who is in his 16th NFL season, says Incognito's apparent use of that word is beyond the pale.

"Obviously, it shows racism, bigotry, to leave a voice mail like that," Fletcher says. "He probably said that to the guy's face. He was very bold. … That wasn't hazing. That was flat bullying. … That right there was beyond the scope of anything I've seen that guys have done to rookies."

Gannon says he saw bullying in locker rooms in high school and less so in college and at his first pro stop in Minnesota.

Then I went to Kansas City where I didn't see any of it," he says. "Marty Schottenheimer created a great situation where older guys mentored younger guys. Then I went out to Oakland, and I almost got sick to my stomach at how bad it was."

He describes a time when a group of defensive players grabbed then-Raiders tight end Doug Jolley, taped him to the ground and covered him with Icy Hot and baby powder while punching him.

"I walked in, in front of this, and I flipped out," Gannon says. "Guys were cheering and laughing."

Gannon says he stood up and put a stop to it: "There wasn't anybody else who had enough passion and character who was simply going to say, 'You know what? This is wrong. And it has to stop.'"

The trouble is that some players see some forms of hazing as little more than good clean fun.

"I've never had a situation where it got to the point where you needed to step in," Fletcher says. "Sometimes rookies kind of take things the wrong way. You might throw their clothes in the cold tub. They may get offended about that, so you have to calm the situation down. This was something beyond that."

The best way to stop locker room bullying, Gannon says, is having strong team leaders. The Dolphins had a six-member leadership council — and Incognito was a member.

"When (Broncos quarterback) Peyton Manning stands in front of the room, it's like E.F. Hutton, everybody listens," Gannon says. "There's not enough guys who have the balls to stand in front of a group of 60 other men to say, 'You know what? You guys are wrong. This has to stop.'

"But when you go up to that podium, the minute you do that, you're going to have half the guys in the room go, 'What he said is dead-on right, and I'm going to support him.' And the other half of the guys are going to go, 'Who's this guy? What's he talking about? What gives him the right to say that?' That's the problem."

http://www.usatoday.com/story/sports/nfl/2013/11/05/bullying-jonathan-martin-richie-incognito/3449621/

Martina
11-10-2013, 10:28 PM
Boys will be boys. Dicks rule.


If that were the case, this never would have been made public. And even if this affects Jonathan Martin's football career (maybe he's better out of it), and even if more people defend Incognito than Martin overall, it happened. People will be more careful.

The fact is that it's a job, not a clubhouse. And even if it is a team sport and there needs to be team spirit, it's still a job. There are NFL and team policies in place to protect employees. My guess is that there will be more adherence to these polices after this.

You don't have to be a flaming dick to play football. Yeah, you have to be aggressive on the field. But you can leave it there. Most people do.

Martina
11-10-2013, 11:06 PM
This was just little over a year ago. This guy clearly thinks he can get away with anything, and people are defending him.

Incognito, partcipating in the "Fins Weekend Golf Tournament" on May 18, 2012 at the Turnberry Resort and Hotel in Aventura, Fla., allegedly had been drinking and "used his golf club to touch her by rubbing it up against her vagina, then up her stomach then to her chest," according to the report. "He then used the club to knock a pair of sunglasses off the top of her head. After that, he proceeded to lean up against her buttocks with his private parts as if dancing, saying 'Let it rain, Let it Rain!' He finally finished his inappropriate behavior by emptying bottled water in her face."

The volunteer said several people including an event sponsor witnessed it but did nothing, so she told her supervisor, who told team security, who said they would handle it. But she told police all she got was an apology from former Dolphin Nat Moore, so she called them because she wanted one from Incognito.

"She felt like he didn't care and thought the whole incident was in fun and games," the report says. "Other people apologized for him, but not him."

The volunteer told Local10 she couldn't discuss the report because she signed a confidentiality agreement. The Dolphins refused to comment.

http://msn.foxsports.com/nfl/story/richie-incognito-miami-dolphins-jonathan-martin-bullying-hazing-police-report-accused-sexually-harassment-woman-110713?cmpid=msn%3Afoxsports%3Aansfoxrel2

Martina
11-11-2013, 03:12 AM
http://www.nfl.com/news/story/0ap2000000277784/article/miami-dolphins-controversy-is-not-simply-about-richie-incognito?icampaign=ATL_newsdriver

Should evidence exist that Incognito was acting at the behest of one or both of his superiors, we'd be getting into "A Few Good Men" territory. Essentially, we might be looking at a situation in which authority figures in the organization ordered a player with a history of anger issues and mental instability to carry out a Code Red on a player struggling with issues of emotional stress, and the player in question complied in his own, untidy way.

Laidbackgrly
11-11-2013, 03:49 AM
damn grow up already be a man . people get tired bullies isnt that suppose to change after high school really how old is this man he isnt even in school this is pro football team be a professional and set a standard for the kids who look up to them great role model! roles eyes:blink:

Cin
11-13-2013, 01:40 PM
AlterNet Comics: Keith Knight on Richie Incognito

The big guy is just misunderstood.

http://www.alternet.org/files/styles/large/public/incognito.png

Medusa
11-13-2013, 02:33 PM
I've been out of the loop with the news for a few weeks but am kinda fascinated with this story. I think I also saw something the other day about Incognito being investigated in a child abuse case? I might be remembering that wrong but needless to say, it's bizarre.

I read an op-ed referencing Incognito being "shocked" that his "best friend" would be offended by this.

Here's the thing, I've also read that Incognito is not considered (or maybe those were his own words, I can't remember) a "meathead" and was at least semi-intelligent. It's mind-boggling that anyone with an ounce of intelligence would either not get how those words and actions could be offensive to someone or that an intelligent person would believe that he didn't have at least some insight into his own behavior.

Oh, and just for the sake of comment, I think it's ok to feel a lot of disgust for a person's actions being racist or sexist, but I don't think it's necessary to wrap their obese body into those negative feelings.

Rockinonahigh
11-13-2013, 06:04 PM
AlterNet Comics: Keith Knight on Richie Incognito

The big guy is just misunderstood.

http://www.alternet.org/files/styles/large/public/incognito.png


This guy definatly needs help from a profssional for a long time,anyone who would talk that way to anyone, friend or not,is really missing quite a fue bricks' shy of a full lode.Shurely pro sports can police the player who act in this disspicable way.