For the Femme Who Has Everything; V-Day Edition

[Bob]

My friends (and enemies, and indifferent lookers-on),

We are on the eve's eve of one of the more odious made-up-by-the-greeting-card-flowers-and-restaurant-industries holidays. Editorial comments aside, I hope you got your girlfriend something. Or are planning to. Because I'm here to tell you, friends (and enemies, and indifferent lookers-on), I don't care if she tells you she doesn't care about it, or doesn't want to waste money on it, or what have you. She cares. She cares that you care enough to ignore her practical, pragmatic statements for the well-intentioned bullshit that they are and get her a well-considered token of your esteem.

May I suggest that instead of the usual flowers/chocolates/fancy dinner routine, you consider the following product for your ladyfriend? I guarantee that she will never forget it; she will never forget YOU for giving it to her. May not forgive you, either, but I'm not responsible for your relationship issues.

I hereby present you with: My New Pink Button. (http://mynewpinkbutton.com) For the lady who has everything.

You can thank me later.

[Queerasfck]

Wow Bob. Just wow. Maybe you someone will move this to the "I love this product" thread.

[Mister Bent]

I detest Valentine's Day.

Always have.

Plan on continuing to do so until I die. Possibly from beyond the grave. Or urn.

But this (http://www.mynewpinkbutton.com/My-New-Pink-Button-Marilyn/M/B002P0W2DG.htm)?

It's possible, Bob, that I may just have to reconsider my boycott solely to have a reason to someday gift my lover with such a fine and romantic product.

It is certain to elicit from her a lifetime of appreciation for my thoughtfulness.

[Blade]

Chuckling......I'm not gonna touch that at this point of the game. Course if it needed pinking up I probably wouldn't touch it to start with. Jus sayin, ya know I heard......well never mind.

[Medusa]

It would be even better paired with this (http://www.bettybeauty.com/use.php)

[Queerasfck]

It would be even better paired with this (http://www.bettybeauty.com/use.php)

So the carpet matches the drapes as they say.

[BullDog]

This gives a whole new meaning to Pretty In Pink.

[Selenay]

So the carpet matches the drapes as they say.

Actually, I think it would be, "So the carpet matches the wallpaper."

:blah:

[Medusa]

You KNOW this shit is no more than kool-aide.
( "Quick! Rub some Wyler's on your Hooch and it will look younger!")

What I want to know is how it was discovered.

[Apocalipstic]

Damn it, I so wish there were a Butch version.....since I have zero idea what to get Mr. Cynthia for VDay.

Yes, I know it is hard to believe, but she is WAY more romantic (and way way way more picky) than I am.

Please, for the love of all that is sacred, let me know if they have something similar for the discerning Butch on dreaded Valentines Day??? Pretty pulease????

She says she just wants "a card", but she actually reads them and thinks about what cards say (who knew people read cards?), so the stress of picking out said card is enormous. Please please let there be some of this stuff for Bull Dykes...but not in blue, that would be weird.

:rose:

[Medusa]

Actually, I think it would be, "So the carpet matches the wallpaper."

:blah:


Mine look like drapes. I think you are being ageist. *snort*

[Mister Bent]

Actually, I think it would be, "So the carpet matches the wallpaper."

:blah:

I'm having difficulty with the interior decorating analogies.

[Words]

Description:

My New Pink Button (tm) is a temporary dye to restore the youthful pink color back to your labia. There is no other product like it. This patent pending formula was designed by a female certified Paramedical Esthetician after she discovered her own genital color loss. While looking online for a solution she discovered thousands of other women asking the same questions regarding their color loss. After countless searches revealing no solution available and a discussion with her own gynecologist she decided to create her own. Now there is a solution!

Features:

• Marilyn is the lightest of our colors. Good for beginners who want to make a slight change fresh color change in their appearance or those who are very fair skinned. For a more dramatic result check out our other colors.
• 20 applications per bottle
• Dye System Kit includes 20 disposable applicators, mixing dish, labia colorant dye and instructional guide
• Our Products are Never Tested on Animals, but it will bring out the Animal in You!
• Easy to use - applies in just one minute - and your pink is back!

Oh, well, that makes it all okay then...LOL...

Words

[Words]

Mine look like drapes. I think you are being ageist. *snort*

Great...you just made me pee my ****ing panties...

Thanks a bunch. LOL...

Words

[Cyclopea]

You KNOW this shit is no more than kool-aide.
( "Quick! Rub some Wyler's on your Hooch and it will look younger!")

What I want to know is how it was discovered.

And was it tested on animals?

[Bob]

I wonder if it's got a "If ingested orally, call your POISON CONTROL CENTER IMMEDIATELY" notice on it. Because, damn. When else would someone be close enough to inspect the pinkness of your parts (or lack thereof)?

[Medusa]

I love the description for "Audrey"


Features:• Audrey - For the woman that loves to be daring, we bring you "Audrey"! This is the deepest, darkest color that we offer to give you a bold burgundy pink color. Perfect for everyone, and your own base color will determine the depth of this shade. Tonight its Show time!!


•


I've always dreamed of having that "inflamed" look!

[Words]

You KNOW this shit is no more than kool-aide.
( "Quick! Rub some Wyler's on your Hooch and it will look younger!")

What I want to know is how it was discovered.

I rub cognac on mine.

Only way to get B. down there when Hy's tired.

*Shrug*

(just kidding...)

[Mister Bent]

I love the description for "Audrey"


Features:• Audrey - For the woman that loves to be daring, we bring you "Audrey"! This is the deepest, darkest color that we offer to give you a bold burgundy pink color. Perfect for everyone, and your own base color will determine the depth of this shade. Tonight its Show time!!


•


I've always dreamed of having that "inflamed" look!

Red Zone only?

[Medusa]

Did anyone happen to read about Jennifer Love Hewitt saying she had a friend glue bedazzle beads all over hers?

(In my best "Have you got any Grey Poupon" voice)

"I've never had to decorate to get the "boys" to my yard"


Medusa
superior hooch

[Words]

Hey, we could have a 'button' *snigger* painting event at the Reunion with a game of 'Guess the colour' after!

[Blade]

Ok I guess what I would be curious of is WHO looks at their labia WHO? I'd like a show of hands of the femmes who are that flexible, please. And what on earth did the woman use to compare it with, to decide her's had lost it's color?:pointing:

OMG yall are killing me with this thread. I don't think I've laughed so hard in a month maybe 2 months.

[Queerasfck]

V-Day for the lonely guy.

http://i8.tinypic.com/6ce5x7r.jpg

[Mister Bent]

Ok I guess what I would be curious of is WHO looks at their labia WHO? I'd like a show of hands of the femmes who are that flexible, please.

Well.

Some people like to watch what's happening while, you know, things are "happening."

So, they might look then.

I'm just guessing, of course.

[Jett]

Of course none of this would be complete without some Bleach Bum (http://www.bleachbum.com/)... no self respecting person would be seen without it...

*oml*

[Words]

Of course none of this would be complete without some Bleach Bum (http://www.bleachbum.com/)... no self respecting person would be seen without it...

I was waiting for someone to bring that up! LOL...

Crazy, isn't it.

[always2late]

OMG...thank you for this thread! I so needed the laugh. I don't think I've laughed this hard since I first heard about butt bleaching.

A bleached butt and a pinked hooch...its a Valentine's Day extravaganza!! :rofl:

[The_Lady_Snow]

I gotta ask...

What if your labia is say

NOT PINK...

THEN WHAT???:veggie:

[Apocalipstic]

I really have never noticed anyone's chocha and/or anal pore needing to look more "youthful".

Snow, I did see a blue "area" once and I worried maybe air was not getting to it?

[always2late]

I gotta ask...

What if your labia is say

NOT PINK...

THEN WHAT???:veggie:


Well it can be now! All different shades apparently (if the ad is correct) LOL

[always2late]

Did anyone happen to read about Jennifer Love Hewitt saying she had a friend glue bedazzle beads all over hers?

(In my best "Have you got any Grey Poupon" voice)

"I've never had to decorate to get the "boys" to my yard"


Medusa
superior hooch

(I have a total Valentine's Day crush on Medusa for this post)

[Medusa]

It kinda looks like their colors fall into the "pink only" category.

They need to add some deeper colors!

[Andrew, Jr.]

I love this thread. It is the best threat evah! I have done nothing but laugh hysterically. :sushi: anyone?

Love,
The Hoochie -Coo Man :thumbsup:

[Cyclopea]

It kinda looks like their colors fall into the "pink only" category.

They need to add some deeper colors!

Yes, what about the goths? Don't they need colored merkins too?

[Sachita]

rock and roll hoochie coo... hell I want mine to be green like its alive and growing. lol then again it might cause concern. lol

what have I been doing all my life!

[QueenofQueens]

Glad to know only femmes have vaginas, labias and clits.
I've been operating under an entirely different premise all these years.

[Andrew, Jr.]

Sachita,

You have penicillen for that love. :stiletto: Go have some fun!


Queen of Queens,

I am not sure of what to say, so :farmer: that's me thinking of you!


Love,
Mr. Hoochie Coo

[Apocalipstic]

Glad to know only femmes have vaginas, labias and clits.
I've been operating under an entirely different premise all these years.


I know.....

See what we have (NOT) been missing!

:awww:

Shhhhh, let's not let on that we know better.

[Cyclopea]

Glad to know only femmes have vaginas, labias and clits.
I've been operating under an entirely different premise all these years.

And mine is naturally pink!
:eek:

[Apocalipstic]

And mine is naturally pink!
:eek:


God I hope mine still is, now that I am aging.....

must
remember
to
check

[Sachita]

Sachita,

You have penicillen for that love. :stiletto: Go have some fun!


Queen of Queens,

I am not sure of what to say, so :farmer: that's me thinking of you!


Love,
Mr. Hoochie Coo

Thank you darling! Did I tell you I gots a strawberry in there too? It might be green on the outside but something sweet and juicy inside

[torchiegirl]

wow...um...

*pinch*

*b

[Apocalipstic]

Thank you darling! Did I tell you I gots a strawberry in there too? It might be green on the outside but something sweet and juicy inside

a whole strawberry?

[Apocalipstic]

wow...um...

*pinch*

*b

the femmes, the strawberry or the "areas"?

[Selenay]

Mine look like drapes. I think you are being ageist. *snort*

Doooooooo
Youuuuuuurrrr
Lips hang low? Do they wobble to and fro?
Are they closer to wall? Are they closer to the do'?
Can you cover them in paper?
Do you have to see a draper?
Do your lips
Hang
Low?

[always2late]

Hey can we have a "Check your hooch for signs of aging" booth at the reunion?
(I'm thinking there could be a color chart involved)

[Cyclopea]

http://www.bibhanger.com/

[Andrew, Jr.]

I will volunteer to check out the femmes. And no insurance is involved.

[The_Lady_Snow]

Glad to know only femmes have vaginas, labias and clits.
I've been operating under an entirely different premise all these years.

I may hot check this out, being a femme and all.. I will have the boy check thoroughly to make sure I have these particular parts and get back to ya...

I will volunteer to check out the femmes. And no insurance is involved.

Some vaginas are a right not a privelege.. You may want to make sure you have this clear with them, not all femmes may want their vaginas inspected by just any boy... ;)

[torchiegirl]

the femmes, the strawberry or the "areas"?

all of them

[Spa]

All I got was jewelry.

[tantalizingfemme]

For those without a bedazzler.....


http://www.cracked.com/video_16077_clitter-body-glitter-your-vagina.html

[tantalizingfemme]

For those without a bedazzler.....


http://www.cracked.com/video_16077_clitter-body-glitter-your-vagina.html

ETA: Screen comes up blank for a little bit and then the video will play...

[Gemme]

Ok I guess what I would be curious of is WHO looks at their labia WHO? I'd like a show of hands of the femmes who are that flexible, please. And what on earth did the woman use to compare it with, to decide her's had lost it's color?:pointing:

OMG yall are killing me with this thread. I don't think I've laughed so hard in a month maybe 2 months.

*raises hand*

I look. :blink:

A mirror helps. :cheesy:

:admin:

[The_Lady_Snow]

One can look at ones labia with a

MIRROR....

[hpychick]

and me, being a bit naive sometimes, had to go there.

*oml* indeed.

*shaking my head*

Of course none of this would be complete without some Bleach Bum (http://www.bleachbum.com/)... no self respecting person would be seen without it...

*oml*

[hpychick]

I really need to get out of the house more often because I found this, while entertaining in a sick and somewhat twisted sort of way - incredibly interesting that someone out there thought about it long enough to not only create - but also market, products like *clitter* and *bleach bum*

....going out to see if I can buy myself a life.... I may need a :detective: though.

[Kimbo]

For those without a bedazzler.....


http://www.cracked.com/video_16077_clitter-body-glitter-your-vagina.html

That cracked me up, thank you. Clitter glitter...OH Yabia!!