For the Femme Who Has Everything; V-Day Edition

Bob · 02-12-2010, 02:28 PM

My friends (and enemies, and indifferent lookers-on),

We are on the eve's eve of one of the more odious made-up-by-the-greeting-card-flowers-and-restaurant-industries holidays. Editorial comments aside, I hope you got your girlfriend something. Or are planning to. Because I'm here to tell you, friends (and enemies, and indifferent lookers-on), I don't care if she tells you she doesn't care about it, or doesn't want to waste money on it, or what have you. She cares. She cares that you care enough to ignore her practical, pragmatic statements for the well-intentioned bullshit that they are and get her a well-considered token of your esteem.

May I suggest that instead of the usual flowers/chocolates/fancy dinner routine, you consider the following product for your ladyfriend? I guarantee that she will never forget it; she will never forget YOU for giving it to her. May not forgive you, either, but I'm not responsible for your relationship issues.

I hereby present you with: My New Pink Button. (http://mynewpinkbutton.com) For the lady who has everything.

You can thank me later.

Queerasfck · 02-12-2010, 02:30 PM

Wow Bob. Just wow. Maybe you someone will move this to the "I love this product" thread.

Mister Bent · 02-12-2010, 02:34 PM

I detest Valentine's Day.

Always have.

Plan on continuing to do so until I die. Possibly from beyond the grave. Or urn.

But this?

It's possible, Bob, that I may just have to reconsider my boycott solely to have a reason to someday gift my lover with such a fine and romantic product.

It is certain to elicit from her a lifetime of appreciation for my thoughtfulness.

Blade · 02-12-2010, 02:39 PM

Chuckling......I'm not gonna touch that at this point of the game. Course if it needed pinking up I probably wouldn't touch it to start with. Jus sayin, ya know I heard......well never mind.

Medusa · 02-12-2010, 02:40 PM

It would be even better paired with this

Queerasfck · 02-12-2010, 02:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Medusa

It would be even better paired with this

So the carpet matches the drapes as they say.

BullDog · 02-12-2010, 02:43 PM

This gives a whole new meaning to Pretty In Pink.

Selenay · 02-12-2010, 02:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by EzeeTiger

So the carpet matches the drapes as they say.

Actually, I think it would be, "So the carpet matches the wallpaper."

Medusa · 02-12-2010, 02:46 PM

You KNOW this shit is no more than kool-aide.
( "Quick! Rub some Wyler's on your Hooch and it will look younger!")

What I want to know is how it was discovered.

Apocalipstic · 02-12-2010, 02:46 PM

Damn it, I so wish there were a Butch version.....since I have zero idea what to get Mr. Cynthia for VDay.

Yes, I know it is hard to believe, but she is WAY more romantic (and way way way more picky) than I am.

Please, for the love of all that is sacred, let me know if they have something similar for the discerning Butch on dreaded Valentines Day??? Pretty pulease????

She says she just wants "a card", but she actually reads them and thinks about what cards say (who knew people read cards?), so the stress of picking out said card is enormous. Please please let there be some of this stuff for Bull Dykes...but not in blue, that would be weird.

Medusa · 02-12-2010, 02:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Selenay

Actually, I think it would be, "So the carpet matches the wallpaper."

Mine look like drapes. I think you are being ageist. *snort*

Mister Bent · 02-12-2010, 02:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Selenay

Actually, I think it would be, "So the carpet matches the wallpaper."

I'm having difficulty with the interior decorating analogies.

Words · 02-12-2010, 02:52 PM

Description:

My New Pink Button (tm) is a temporary dye to restore the youthful pink color back to your labia. There is no other product like it. This patent pending formula was designed by a female certified Paramedical Esthetician after she discovered her own genital color loss. While looking online for a solution she discovered thousands of other women asking the same questions regarding their color loss. After countless searches revealing no solution available and a discussion with her own gynecologist she decided to create her own. Now there is a solution!

Features:

• Marilyn is the lightest of our colors. Good for beginners who want to make a slight change fresh color change in their appearance or those who are very fair skinned. For a more dramatic result check out our other colors.
• 20 applications per bottle
• Dye System Kit includes 20 disposable applicators, mixing dish, labia colorant dye and instructional guide
• Our Products are Never Tested on Animals, but it will bring out the Animal in You!
• Easy to use - applies in just one minute - and your pink is back!

Oh, well, that makes it all okay then...LOL...

Words

Words · 02-12-2010, 02:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Medusa

Mine look like drapes. I think you are being ageist. *snort*

Great...you just made me pee my ****ing panties...

Thanks a bunch. LOL...

Words

Cyclopea · 02-12-2010, 02:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Medusa

You KNOW this shit is no more than kool-aide.
( "Quick! Rub some Wyler's on your Hooch and it will look younger!")

What I want to know is how it was discovered.

And was it tested on animals?

Bob · 02-12-2010, 02:55 PM

I wonder if it's got a "If ingested orally, call your POISON CONTROL CENTER IMMEDIATELY" notice on it. Because, damn. When else would someone be close enough to inspect the pinkness of your parts (or lack thereof)?

Medusa · 02-12-2010, 02:58 PM

I love the description for "Audrey"

Features:• Audrey - For the woman that loves to be daring, we bring you "Audrey"! This is the deepest, darkest color that we offer to give you a bold burgundy pink color. Perfect for everyone, and your own base color will determine the depth of this shade. Tonight its Show time!!

•

I've always dreamed of having that "inflamed" look!

Words · 02-12-2010, 03:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Medusa

You KNOW this shit is no more than kool-aide.
( "Quick! Rub some Wyler's on your Hooch and it will look younger!")

What I want to know is how it was discovered.

I rub cognac on mine.

Only way to get B. down there when Hy's tired.

*Shrug*

(just kidding...)

Mister Bent · 02-12-2010, 03:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Medusa

I love the description for "Audrey"

Features:• Audrey - For the woman that loves to be daring, we bring you "Audrey"! This is the deepest, darkest color that we offer to give you a bold burgundy pink color. Perfect for everyone, and your own base color will determine the depth of this shade. Tonight its Show time!!

•

I've always dreamed of having that "inflamed" look!

Red Zone only?

Medusa · 02-12-2010, 03:02 PM

Did anyone happen to read about Jennifer Love Hewitt saying she had a friend glue bedazzle beads all over hers?

(In my best "Have you got any Grey Poupon" voice)

"I've never had to decorate to get the "boys" to my yard"

Medusa
superior hooch

02-12-2010, 02:28 PM	#1
Bob Member How Do You Identify?: Jackass. Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: In your mom. Posts: 144 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 15 Thanked 288 Times in 92 Posts Rep Power: 29242	For the Femme Who Has Everything; V-Day Edition My friends (and enemies, and indifferent lookers-on), We are on the eve's eve of one of the more odious made-up-by-the-greeting-card-flowers-and-restaurant-industries holidays. Editorial comments aside, I hope you got your girlfriend something. Or are planning to. Because I'm here to tell you, friends (and enemies, and indifferent lookers-on), I don't care if she tells you she doesn't care about it, or doesn't want to waste money on it, or what have you. She cares. She cares that you care enough to ignore her practical, pragmatic statements for the well-intentioned bullshit that they are and get her a well-considered token of your esteem. May I suggest that instead of the usual flowers/chocolates/fancy dinner routine, you consider the following product for your ladyfriend? I guarantee that she will never forget it; she will never forget YOU for giving it to her. May not forgive you, either, but I'm not responsible for your relationship issues. I hereby present you with: My New Pink Button. (http://mynewpinkbutton.com) For the lady who has everything. You can thank me later.

02-12-2010, 02:30 PM	#2
Queerasfck Senior Member How Do You Identify?: still ballin' Relationship Status: Triple X Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: west side Posts: 2,544 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 5,716 Thanked 6,492 Times in 1,638 Posts Rep Power: 21474854	Wow Bob. Just wow. Maybe you someone will move this to the "I love this product" thread. __________________ http://www.advertisingarchives.co.uk...28750fb328.jpg

02-12-2010, 02:34 PM	#3
Mister Bent Senior Member How Do You Identify?: . Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: . Posts: 2,905 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 4,151 Thanked 5,826 Times in 1,721 Posts Rep Power: 21474854	truly sub genius I detest Valentine's Day. Always have. Plan on continuing to do so until I die. Possibly from beyond the grave. Or urn. But this? It's possible, Bob, that I may just have to reconsider my boycott solely to have a reason to someday gift my lover with such a fine and romantic product. It is certain to elicit from her a lifetime of appreciation for my thoughtfulness. __________________ Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin to slit throats. - H. L. Mencken Last edited by Mister Bent; 02-12-2010 at 02:35 PM. Reason: everyone loves a link

02-12-2010, 02:40 PM	#5
Medusa Mentally Delicious How Do You Identify?: Queer High Femme, thank you very much Preferred Pronoun?: Mme. Relationship Status: Married to JD. Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: Atlanta Posts: 10,446 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 5,995 Thanked 42,724 Times in 7,832 Posts Rep Power: 21474861	It would be even better paired with this __________________ . . . Buy ButchFemmePlanet Merch Here: https://teespring.com/stores/butchfemmeplanetcom-merch

02-12-2010, 02:43 PM	#7
BullDog Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Dominant Stone Butch Daddy Preferred Pronoun?: She Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: In A Healing Place Posts: 5,371 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 18,160 Thanked 22,693 Times in 4,464 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	This gives a whole new meaning to Pretty In Pink. __________________ Love consists in this, that two solitudes protect and touch and greet each other. - Rainer Maria Rilke

02-12-2010, 02:39 PM	#4
Blade Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: TG Preferred Pronoun?: He Relationship Status: once in a while someone amazing comes along...and here I am! Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Down on the farm Posts: 5,501 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 9,855 Thanked 14,418 Times in 4,058 Posts Rep Power: 21474857	Chuckling......I'm not gonna touch that at this point of the game. Course if it needed pinking up I probably wouldn't touch it to start with. Jus sayin, ya know I heard......well never mind.

02-12-2010, 02:46 PM	#9
Medusa Mentally Delicious How Do You Identify?: Queer High Femme, thank you very much Preferred Pronoun?: Mme. Relationship Status: Married to JD. Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: Atlanta Posts: 10,446 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 5,995 Thanked 42,724 Times in 7,832 Posts Rep Power: 21474861	You KNOW this shit is no more than kool-aide. ( "Quick! Rub some Wyler's on your Hooch and it will look younger!") What I want to know is how it was discovered. __________________ . . . Buy ButchFemmePlanet Merch Here: https://teespring.com/stores/butchfemmeplanetcom-merch

02-12-2010, 02:46 PM	#10
Apocalipstic Pink Confection How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: She, Her, Ma'am Relationship Status: Dating Myself Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Nashville Posts: 4,266 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 17,195 Thanked 11,365 Times in 2,838 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	Damn it, I so wish there were a Butch version.....since I have zero idea what to get Mr. Cynthia for VDay. Yes, I know it is hard to believe, but she is WAY more romantic (and way way way more picky) than I am. Please, for the love of all that is sacred, let me know if they have something similar for the discerning Butch on dreaded Valentines Day??? Pretty pulease???? She says she just wants "a card", but she actually reads them and thinks about what cards say (who knew people read cards?), so the stress of picking out said card is enormous. Please please let there be some of this stuff for Bull Dykes...but not in blue, that would be weird. __________________

02-12-2010, 02:52 PM	#13
Words Member How Do You Identify?: Queer femme submissive Relationship Status: Married Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: UK Posts: 969 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,449 Thanked 4,259 Times in 677 Posts Rep Power: 21474852	Description: My New Pink Button (tm) is a temporary dye to restore the youthful pink color back to your labia. There is no other product like it. This patent pending formula was designed by a female certified Paramedical Esthetician after she discovered her own genital color loss. While looking online for a solution she discovered thousands of other women asking the same questions regarding their color loss. After countless searches revealing no solution available and a discussion with her own gynecologist she decided to create her own. Now there is a solution! Features: • Marilyn is the lightest of our colors. Good for beginners who want to make a slight change fresh color change in their appearance or those who are very fair skinned. For a more dramatic result check out our other colors. • 20 applications per bottle • Dye System Kit includes 20 disposable applicators, mixing dish, labia colorant dye and instructional guide • Our Products are Never Tested on Animals, but it will bring out the Animal in You! • Easy to use - applies in just one minute - and your pink is back! Oh, well, that makes it all okay then...LOL... Words

02-12-2010, 02:55 PM	#16
Bob Member How Do You Identify?: Jackass. Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: In your mom. Posts: 144 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 15 Thanked 288 Times in 92 Posts Rep Power: 29242	I wonder if it's got a "If ingested orally, call your POISON CONTROL CENTER IMMEDIATELY" notice on it. Because, damn. When else would someone be close enough to inspect the pinkness of your parts (or lack thereof)?

02-12-2010, 02:58 PM	#17
Medusa Mentally Delicious How Do You Identify?: Queer High Femme, thank you very much Preferred Pronoun?: Mme. Relationship Status: Married to JD. Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: Atlanta Posts: 10,446 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 5,995 Thanked 42,724 Times in 7,832 Posts Rep Power: 21474861	I love the description for "Audrey" Features:• Audrey - For the woman that loves to be daring, we bring you "Audrey"! This is the deepest, darkest color that we offer to give you a bold burgundy pink color. Perfect for everyone, and your own base color will determine the depth of this shade. Tonight its Show time!! • I've always dreamed of having that "inflamed" look! __________________ . . . Buy ButchFemmePlanet Merch Here: https://teespring.com/stores/butchfemmeplanetcom-merch

02-12-2010, 03:02 PM	#20
Medusa Mentally Delicious How Do You Identify?: Queer High Femme, thank you very much Preferred Pronoun?: Mme. Relationship Status: Married to JD. Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: Atlanta Posts: 10,446 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 5,995 Thanked 42,724 Times in 7,832 Posts Rep Power: 21474861	Did anyone happen to read about Jennifer Love Hewitt saying she had a friend glue bedazzle beads all over hers? (In my best "Have you got any Grey Poupon" voice) "I've never had to decorate to get the "boys" to my yard" Medusa superior hooch __________________ . . . Buy ButchFemmePlanet Merch Here: https://teespring.com/stores/butchfemmeplanetcom-merch Last edited by Medusa; 02-12-2010 at 03:04 PM.