What to do?

[Ringlets]

I just decided to join this site (which is wonderful btw) after reading posts for a couple of days on the outside looking in. I have a problem though, which is why I started looking in the first place and need some advice.

I met someone online and plan going to meet them for the first time next week. I have always ID'd as a femme. Hy IDs as old fashioned Stone Butch. He is ten years older then me and we live two states apart. (I am nervous because I have never posted in a forum so please bear with me -- I am trying not to leave out anything important!)

I really like hym and we seem to have everything in common. We have been talking online and on the phone for three months. I have seen pictures of him. But he has not seen or asked for pictures of me.
Now I am just scared to death. He has never asked me what I look like or how much I weigh. It just hasn't come up. Somehow though during a conversation recently I got the impression that he liked thin girls. That is why I am so nervous now!

I am not skinny at all! I would consider myself fat. I'm always working towards skinny, it just doesn't happen fast enough. I don't hate my body like some do, but I don't love it either. I also have a scar on my face that isn't huge but you can see it. My question is should I just call him up and warn him?
I am not sure what to do and woudl appreciate any advice. Thank you all so much. I'm sorry this was so long!

[Andrew, Jr.]

My advice to you is this...be yourself. If this person is that self-centered to not enjoy you, then you drop hym. You are a treasure. A gift. Never forget that.

Welcome to the site, have fun, and enjoy yourself!

Namaste,
Andrew

[luciddreamer]

I agree with Andrew ! Welcome to the site :)

[Leigh]

I do agree with Andrew, in the fact that you should just be yourself. If someone is going to like you, then they should like you for who you are on the inside and not for what you look like. Since you've both been talking for a few months, then hy should already like you ~ what you look like won't be an issue for hym (atleast it shouldn't be) ........... if it is, then I would say that hy isn't the right one for you :)

I wish you good luck, and welcome to the Planet :rose:

[Apocalipstic]

First off, I hope you are meeting this person in a public place. Please be careful and make sure someone knows exactly where you are at all times.

I have in the past sent a list of concerns to a potential victim (ooops, I mean date :) ), if it makes you feel better, there is no shame in that.

What has this person said to make you think a thin girl is desired?

[AshenLady]

It is promising that hy hasn't asked for your photo, but I agree with your concerns. If I were you, I would want to know before meeting whether or not my weight and/or scar would be an issue. Just share it with hym and give him an out, if hy so desires. The last thing I would want is to be rejected face-to-face, after traveling to meet hym.

I also agree with apocalipstic - meet in a public place first.

I hope it works out for you both.

[adorable]

I would just send him a pic. I know that fear though. lol. It's easier said then done. It always seems to be the people who aren't "all that" that have the highest standards too. Not sure why that is....don't let someone dictate what you should or shouldn't be. You are fine just how you are and really if you are worried just take a pic without make up or your hair done, in jeans and shirt - then just send it. I personally hate being compared to people on tv or movies. I am not a supermodel - in fact even supermodels aren't supermodels. Tyra Banks said that if it weren't for air brushing she wouldn't look as good as she does on the cover of magazines. It's an impossible standard that as women, we feel we need to live up to. It pisses me off actually. Everyone has things they don't like about themselves. I'm sure hy has his own insecurities. If he rejects you for a scar or your weight then he wasn't worth your time to begin with. I hope it works out for you though. It's hard to find people you really connect with in this world.

[Ringlets]

Thank you all for your posts!!!!
We met and he thought I was pretty. Just getting through the fear was all I could manage. Hy really is a great guy but I think he might be too old fashioned for me afterall. Hy was very polite and even held doors, but I got the feeling that in person he expected me to be more wife like. I think there was chemistry and we are talking about it. I'm a little nervous because I don't want someone to control my every waking step! I don't want to be expected to cook and clean. I got that impression. Hy acted offended when I offered to walk his dog after hy slightly twisted hys ankle when we were at the park. That sounds stupid but he said to me that it was "his" job. I'm not sure what he meant. like if walking the dog was hys job or if it was because it was hys dog.
I did like him and thought he was much cuter in person. I guess I'll have to wait and see what happens.
Thank you all for your help.

[Jaques]

Thank you all for your posts!!!!
We met and he thought I was pretty. Just getting through the fear was all I could manage. Hy really is a great guy but I think he might be too old fashioned for me afterall. Hy was very polite and even held doors, but I got the feeling that in person he expected me to be more wife like. I think there was chemistry and we are talking about it. I'm a little nervous because I don't want someone to control my every waking step! I don't want to be expected to cook and clean. I got that impression. Hy acted offended when I offered to walk his dog after hy slightly twisted hys ankle when we were at the park. That sounds stupid but he said to me that it was "his" job. I'm not sure what he meant. like if walking the dog was hys job or if it was because it was hys dog.
I did like him and thought he was much cuter in person. I guess I'll have to wait and see what happens.
Thank you all for your help.

ten yrs isnt that great a gap, if yoo u like him might i suggest you chat about things because im an old fashioned kinda guy who opens doors and a lot of femmes expect and enjoy these things - maybe he thinks its what you want as he doesnt know you yet. My missus always wanted to do the traditional, so called womens stuff, cooking, cleaning etc and i do the jobs round the house, diy, garden, car and so on - being as its what we both enjoy, it works, but its not for everyone so, give him a chance and tell him politely what works for you - best of luck GJ

[bigbutchmistie]

I just decided to join this site (which is wonderful btw) after reading posts for a couple of days on the outside looking in. I have a problem though, which is why I started looking in the first place and need some advice.

I met someone online and plan going to meet them for the first time next week. I have always ID'd as a femme. Hy IDs as old fashioned Stone Butch. He is ten years older then me and we live two states apart. (I am nervous because I have never posted in a forum so please bear with me -- I am trying not to leave out anything important!)

I really like hym and we seem to have everything in common. We have been talking online and on the phone for three months. I have seen pictures of him. But he has not seen or asked for pictures of me.
Now I am just scared to death. He has never asked me what I look like or how much I weigh. It just hasn't come up. Somehow though during a conversation recently I got the impression that he liked thin girls. That is why I am so nervous now!

I am not skinny at all! I would consider myself fat. I'm always working towards skinny, it just doesn't happen fast enough. I don't hate my body like some do, but I don't love it either. I also have a scar on my face that isn't huge but you can see it. My question is should I just call him up and warn him?
I am not sure what to do and woudl appreciate any advice. Thank you all so much. I'm sorry this was so long!

If people cant accept you for WHO you are FUCK EM! If hy cant appreciate you. Drop hym like a bad habit.

[Linus]

Thank you all for your posts!!!!
We met and he thought I was pretty. Just getting through the fear was all I could manage. Hy really is a great guy but I think he might be too old fashioned for me afterall. Hy was very polite and even held doors, but I got the feeling that in person he expected me to be more wife like. I think there was chemistry and we are talking about it. I'm a little nervous because I don't want someone to control my every waking step! I don't want to be expected to cook and clean. I got that impression. Hy acted offended when I offered to walk his dog after hy slightly twisted hys ankle when we were at the park. That sounds stupid but he said to me that it was "his" job. I'm not sure what he meant. like if walking the dog was hys job or if it was because it was hys dog.
I did like him and thought he was much cuter in person. I guess I'll have to wait and see what happens.
Thank you all for your help.

The comment about walking the job is "hys job" may be because it's "hys" dog and hy feels responsible for hys furrkid. I would say enjoy the dating for what is it --- dating -- and just let things unfold as they should.