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24/7
Phone conversation.
Me: "I'm going to pack in Portland." She: "me too, 24/7" |
Me: ...Skip, why don't you clean Willy's ears?
Blade: ... (speaking as Skip's voice) cause I don't like his ears and he doesn't like my tongue "... |
A long powerful noise in the middle of a thunderstorm
Belle: *running through the house, eyes wide and scared half to death.... "OMG DID YOU HEAR THAT THUNDER? IS IT A TORNADO?" Bully: No, no, no. It's all ok honey. It was me banging on my ottoman because the Lady Vols just missed an easy shot. Belle: :| |
The neighbours across the hall...
Him: For the last time, I want you to quit your job! Her: No way. I don't see you working. Him: If you quit your job it would give me a reason to look. *shaking my head* |
Kid: Mama...I'm freezing!!
Me: Cover yourself up with the blanket. Kid: It's too hot!! Excuse me while I recover my eyes that just rolled around to the back of my head LOL |
"Oh wow, I can smell your pickle!"
:blink: |
Bully: Ohhhhhhh how bout makin some of those good ole biscuits and gravy you make.
Belle: I don't have any biscuits Bully: Well, make them, like you did last time. Belle: Honey, those were from a can. Did you really think that i made those huge fluffy biscuits by scratch? Bully: Ummm yes i did. I do believe you were being duplicitous. Belle: :| |
A conversation between me, Sarah, our 15yo daughter, who knows I am trans, and her friend Alex, who does NOT know I am trans... in the kitchen with me while I was cooking dinner last year...
Sarah: Hey, Chuck Norris is transgender... Me: Sarah - Chuck Norris is so NOT transgender! Sarah: Um, yeah, I'm pretty sure he is, I saw it on TV (random arguing between Sarah and I about this...) Me: Sarah, I don't know what you *think* you saw or heard, but Chuck Norris is most certainly not transgender. Alex: Yeah, he's right Sarah.... and besides, you can tell when someone is transgender. Sarah and I were both like :huhlaugh: |
me: i just reserve the right to disagree with you about how hot you are.
my partner: you definitely feel like you have the right to express your opinion. (he then referenced a mutual friend of ours - they both have a habit of making jokingly misogynist comments like "look at the little woman thinking she has the right to express her opinion.") me: femmes do have the inalienable right to express our opinions or else you have the inalienable right to an ass-kicking. just saying. |
Heard on Skype ... "I'm looking for evil chicken and cockatrice eggs" I can't even think of a response for this statement :| |
email received: I was told about it by a femme in here...
email response: You mean they bottle up femme's and place them in here like a Ginni in a bottle? Can I rub one and get three wishes :tongue: :awww: |
"I can't text you and hold my weiner..." :rofl:
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Baby Luv to Luv: "No! Wait! You are a bad boi!"
It's not so much as what she said as the look on Luv's face when she said it. I think we both pulled a :| |
we were all in da midst o' cyber sex when her daughter-in-law crashed in and ruined our fun, i'm still poutin'...
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Last night laying in bed...
Belle: Wow it's so freaking quiet, isn't it? Bully: Yeah it is. After about a minute or two Belle: I don't hear birds or dogs or the AC, it's just weird it's so quiet Bully: I like the quiet. After another couple of minutes Belle: I don't think it's ever been this quite before. Don't you think it's really, really quiet? Bully: No, not really. :| |
Butch Mom Moments
Me: Dude. Seriously??? There is blue toothpaste on the bathroom ceiling--how does that even happen??
8yo Mancub: Mommy, I was brushing my teeth..... Me: HOW ??? 8yo Mancub: I was brushing them REALLY well.... I just looked at him and started to laugh, "That was perfect grammar, com'ere get a hug!" |
Miss Scarlett: Honey, I wish I could sit on my balls
ME::seeingstars: Miss Scarlett: Oh honey, not THOSE kinds of balls...the tennis balls....to help with massaging my glutes... ME::seeingstars: |
Quote:
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Gymnastics was on TV one day when my oldest was really little. I wasn't really paying attention to it, but noticed her looking bored. I said "What do you want to be when you grow up Kenzie?"
She said "I wanna do flip-flops on that board and hurt myself." (pointing at the TV... it was balance beam) lmao |
da boss
During a phone conversation this week...
Kobi... The cat is whining about food again... Me... She is acting out again, you need to tell her your da boss... Me... Repeat after me... You da boss... *quiet* Kobi... Can I start with you first? I'm da boss... *snicker* Me... yeah well... ummm... no... nice try though... *fits of laughter* |
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