I think you could say it's both. I also kind of cringe when people talk as though its about denying that you were born with female anatomy. I don't think many out there actually deny that, since it's a little hard to deny with it in your face every day. Personally, when I reject the word "trans" it's because I don't like its implications for me, and I consider my mental/neurological sex more important than the biological sex I was born into, since that is what determines my consciousness as an individual. I know a lot of guys my age see it this way, too, so it may also be generational.

Personally, I don't think saying "I'm not trans, I am a man" is necessarily denying having been born biologically female (I didn't get the impression that Kye was denying that fact), but taking the mind as more important than the physical manifestation of sex one was born into.

That's my two cents, anyway.

Edit, wanted to add that I don't think this kind of statement necessarily severs one from the LGBT or trans community. It's simply a different way of seeing your situation.

Ender, thanks for giving your perspective. Your post helped me get a better understanding of where you and others are coming from. On this particular nuance, we differ.

For me saying I am a "Transman" lends clarity to those that are trying to fit me somewhere on the gender spectrum. I do want them to know, I was born into a female body and my gender expression, how I think, how I feel, how I move through this world, did not and does not fit the constructs of how gender is perceived, critiqued. (BTW, I don't agree with how gender is broken down by the larger culture. Femininity and masculinity are not exclusive to either female or the male sex.)

I am right here with you Greyson. I claim "transguy" because for me, I am on a spectrum. My upbringing and experiences when I was young and in the closet have shaped me and are part of who I am. But I am a guy, not a woman. For me trans means I stand outside the gender norms. It just fits for me and how I feel as a person.

There is nothing wrong with guys IDing as men and not trans. That is their sense of self and should be acknowledged and respected. We are a diverse population, not completely homogenous. But its that way with any of the "letters" in the LGBTQ community.

TG vs TS?
 

Joe Mario-
Trans covers a lot more guys,than just guys on T. For example, a guy decides to only get top surgery but never use T. His opinion would be just as influential to the conversation. I am going to assume you thought out your question because of it being only specific to guys on T so I need some clarification as to why. Thanks in advance for taking the time out to answer this question.

I have a question for those who have had top surgery: how long before you were "fully" back to "snuff" for work (that is, back at a 100%). My work wants to know if I would be ok with traveling for work on the week of June 13th (about 3 weeks after surgery)

Hey Linus,

I just had my surgery yesterday. My doctor told me not to lift anything above 20lbs for 4 weeks (right now I am too sore to lift anything above 5lbs). My concern for you is lugging your baggage around. It tugs on your sutures and makes the scarring worse from what I have been told. If I were you I would give yourself 4-6 weeks til you travel. Hope that helps.

Drew

Grant,

I know you directed this question to Joe, but I guess I'm curious.... why does Joe have to explain why he chose to direct his question to a certain group of people?

If I remember correctly I took 6 weeks off. When I did return, I wished that I had returned to half days; I would hit a wall around 1:00 and was just useless after that.

When I returned, we had just moved in to new office spaces. I remember attempting to spray and wipe down my work surfaces and feeling pretty nervous about that kind of reaching.

Like Drew said, you really won't want to lift even your laptop case at 3 weeks.

Even if things are healing well and you're feeling good at that time, the incisions and tissue will still be very tender and not even close to "healed".

If you have the gift of time, I'd sure take it.

ETA: To answer your real question, I'd say I was feeling good to go at about 8 weeks. I had my energy back, and I was doing some mild stretching. Keep in mind, though, that I literally laid around for 5 or 6 solid weeks......did only the bare minimum.

I thought of you yesterday morning. I'm glad you're already here and checking in; that's a good sign!

I don't even need to say I hope you're feeling good..........cuz I know you are!

Linus,

There are so many variables. Much depends on the type of surgery you have, how well and fast your body heals, how long the drains remains in etc. I drove a pick up truck from Maryland to TN 8 days after my bilateral chest surgery. Three days later I was outside pressure washing a house. lol Was it fun? No. Fact is. I had to do it so I did. But I also am blessed with a high pain threshold and did not have to take any pain meds after my surgery.

Truly if the healing process all goes as it should and you have even a decent pain threshold I would think you could travel as long as you are not lifting heavy suitcases, and you probably should get somone else to lift your carry on in and out of the overhead as well.

Good luck you you.

Linus

I was back to work full-time after 5 days. I only took off the five days because work made me. I felt good after 3 days and wanted to go back to work then.

Rufus

Welp. As I trek towards surgery date, I've done a few things. One of the first was get this (La-Z-Boy Roland La-Z-Time Reclining Chair with special coating in case of puppeh disasters):

http://www.la-z-boy.com/Pages/ImageC...3d1%26res%3d28

Big enough for me, the two pugs and, if they are eager, our soon-to-have two new kitties. :)

I also moved my "surgery money" over to one of my credit cards so I can get air mile points for paying for the surgery. (win-win for me, IMO).

Number one, GREAT looking chair! I still have my threadbare Lazy boy that was once my father's b/c it is wide enough for my jack russell to sit beside me. (and yes, it really is threadbare!)

Number two, awesome plan for air mile points!

Actually that is one way to do it. The Insurance Company cannot verify how the procedure is done (HIPPA violation), just that the surgeon has done it. I will be applying to see if my insurance will cover mine (Dr. V. has said that I'm large enough and with the back issues I've had to potentially qualify this way).

That said, I still have to cover it on my own and apply for insurance coverage. For me, I had some money saved to pay for taxes I thought I'd pay but turned out I didn't need to and that I actually got a refund. The combination of the two was enough to cover the cost of surgery.

There are some grants you can get. Look for the Jim Collins Foundation. They were created to cover surgery costs specifically for trans individuals in need.

Hey, Linus.

I thought you had Aetna? Do they no longer pay for male chest reconstruction/gender identity medical services?

They do. I have to prove all that. Dr. V indicated that I could probably apply under either. The downside is that I have a $5K+ deductible so.. I'm still paying for the majority of it :P

5K? Holy Crap! That stinks! Sorry, man.

Once you hit that deductible make sure to get any and all medical stuff needed done before years end!

I had contemplated this and in fact my insurance at the time denied the claim despite all my back problems. They said I had too many and that it wouldn't help! Wrong ... but I am glad they didn't at the time because I wouldn't have been happy with just a reduction and couldn't imagine doing surgery twice. I'm gettin older and the healing time and process more lengthy each time.

I ended up getting a car accident settlement that was enough to pay for my surgery and time off work since i had a job without vacation or sick time.

Don't recommend that route but my experience was everything just happened when it needed to happen. It Fell into place at the time that my sanity was wearing out and something needed to be done. Got the money and had surgery two weeks later because it was the slow period of work and if I was going to miss that was the time to be off.

Congrats on the chair ... you're going to love it! I went all out and got leather myself and I've had it 6 years and it has worn really well only thing is the dog hair that gets caught into the crevis's. My ex has one that he's had for 15 years and we got it use ... it was atleast 10 years at that time. His isn't as nice but still holding it's own

FYI.. interesting project: http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/...ss-transgender

Thanks for the link Linus. The problem is only getting worse. Hopefully with visibility we can make it better.

wolfbittenpoet, one can hope. I knew there were a lot of transkids in NYC when I lived there but didn't realize it was 35% of the homeless teen population! It's so high and so frustrating.

When I was in group, I remember some of those kids coming and most came because parents had kicked them out, disowned them, beat them and so on. I remember hearing from K about the defunding of one of the only trans homeless shelters by the State gov't (I think, don't quote me on that). These kids need that kind of place to survive period. It's more than belong, it's pure survival.

I so want to win a lottery and provide a place or two or more for trans kids at various large cities in Canada and the US.

http://www.transgenderlawcenter.org/..._2009Print.pdf

A report on the State of Transgender Individuals in California (2009). What's interesting is some of the breakdowns. What did surprise me was that the poverty level was listed as about $10K (!! I had to check to see if I was losing it: http://aspe.hhs.gov/poverty/11poverty.shtml ). Canada's poverty rate is over $20K.

Anyways, it's interesting to see the breakdown of FTMs vs. MTFs.

I paid all medical and associated fees out of pocket. I went on a spending fast for about a year and socked the money away.

I was very fortunate to have a career at the time that allowed me to accrue sick and personal leave to the extent that my entire recovery time was covered.

So.. I just got a note from Dr. V's office. And apparently Aetna pre-approved everything except for $4500 (likely the deductible). So I end up paying a total of $5K (includes the deposit) for the surgery. :)

Awesome Linus! I am so glad for you. :)

That is cool

Just putting this here in case anyone is interested http://magazine.goodvibes.com/2011/0...nder-language/

Swimming and packing?
 

Hey guys, do any of you pack while you swim? If so how do you manage that, what kind of swim trunks do you use, what type of packer, how do you attach your packer to your trunks? I know a lot of soft packers are porous, so how does that work when they get wet? Anyone who can shed a little light on this, I would appreciate some input. Thanks!

Drew

Some silicone packers are waterproof and are safe to use in chlorine or bleach

i keep one specifically for water activities. i just wear 2 pairs of briefs with my harness. A little bulky but i am the only one that notices and it allows me to be active without worry. i probably go thru 3 packers a year just for water activities.the packers are meant to be cleaned daily sometimes two or three times depending on activity. i use the silicone based Mr. Right and just clean it the way it says and have had no problems. Underworks has a new chest binder suit that i am thinking about trying but i haven't committed fully to that idea. Hope this helps. Good luck!

Could you direct me to some links for these silicone packers? Thx in advance.

I have done the same thing and usually use an older one that is on it's way out ... I have used a jock strap on the outside of a pair of briefs. a tad less bulky then above. I have just used a silicone soft packy.

side issue but it's weird since my chest surgery and my current job I've done less packing. Part of it is I work out in the woods and i have device to pee and stand up and just found the packy to be in the way of trying to pee quickly and indiscretely. There are still occassions I do, just because I'm more insecure that day for some reason or another but it's been interesting to watch the evolution of the process

sure, this particular site has a big selection

Vixen Creations: Premium Silicone Sex Toys-Adult Toys