|
Belle and Bella busting into the bedroom and jumping on the bed where Bully is sleeping.
Belle: GOOD MORNING BABY. We tried really hard not to wake you up this morning. We waited and waited and couldn't stand it anymore cause we missed you so much!!! Bully: (grumbling) Belle: It's a beautiful day!!!! We've been playing with toys and been outside a few times!!! Coffee's on!!! Bully: (grumbling a little more, but laughing) Belle *looking at the sunlight coming through the window and shining in Bully's eyes. How can you stand that sunlight coming through the window in your face every morning? Bully: Ummm, well, that's the least of my worries. :| |
Mia and I reading about Cinderella.
Me: "And the stepsisters were so mean to Cinderella and tore up her pretty dress" Mia: ::::some baby talk first then ::: "be nice and share" Me: "Thats right honey! |
Just minutes after waking up, Bully and Belle in the kitchen talking.
Bully: Oh i think i want cinnamon toast. Belle: I think we are out of cinnamon, but we have thyme. Bully: Thyme doesn't go with toast. Belle: Oh sure it does. Don't you remember the song "Thyme in a bottle"? Bread wrote that. Bully: Honey your mouth is still asleep, you need coffee. Besides it was Jim Croce. |
It's too cold to stand around naked eating breakfast.. I knew I should of waited to take my clothes off!
|
J driving me to work because I still can't drive yet....
me: I love you more than all the carbon in the universe... J: *blink blink* J: *pursed lips* J: Ummm I love you more than all -that- me: oh...... *blink blink* |
Quote:
|
Not actually heard, but a text message conversation
Me: The sun is shining and I think I just decided I need a trip across the border.
BFF: Why are you going over there? (scared face) Me: Just for something to do. I like to wander. BFF: Careful, I hear they kidnap and keep the sexiest lesbians. You will be a prime target. Me: Lol, yes that is a concern (confused face) BFF: Oh you KNOW it is!!!!!!! Me: I will be most careful. Wait, maybe I want to be kidnapped. Then I'll be all sad when I get home safe. BFF: But I will be all sad if you get kidnapped. Eyes Super Shaman cape. Me: Ok, I will use my Femme invisibility to get me home safe. BFF: Ok thank the goddess. She really makes me laugh. |
Ruff yelling at this crazy woman who keeps running up and down the stairs, "Go Away" and her response was, "I heard that"... I sat on the couch laughing since Ruff kept yelling at this woman and our dog started barking at her... She was getting told off by a six pound Chihuahua...I gotta love this apartment complex with all of the diverse people who live here.
Zimmeh |
Maybe she can't afford a gym membership and is using the stairs? I dunno, but the visual you gave just cracked me up. :)
|
Meow --pay attention to me .
Meow meooooooooow feed me or for water knocks around dish . Meeeeow (disgusting look ) clean the litter boxes or you'll be sorry. |
while going thu Wendy's drive - thru...
Me: $2.23 for a large fries? anonymous Friend on speaker phone: why don't you just get a couple off the dollar menu? long pause Me: that would still be $2 bucks, you goof Them : oh yeah, it would I love they always find something to make me laugh |
Through a stroke of luck, fate, and two wonderful friends...we will soon be bringing a new puppy home. Needless to say, we are both very excited! GHD has been looking at websites for dog toys, accessories, etc...
GHD: Look at this! Me: Uh...that coat is too big for a puppy. GHD: Oh...you're right, we'll have to wait til he gets bigger. But look at this! Me: He's not going to need boots...besides you don't want him to get tenderfooted GHD: Oh...you're right. BUT LOOK AT THIS!!! Me: Sigh...honey....why would he need goggles??? GHD: They're "doggles"! Me: Sigh |
I am drunkenly cooking bacon and eggs, M is drunkenly stuffing a stocking and watching Archer.
M: Honey, could you pass me a beer please? Me: What am I, your beer-fetching servitude thing? M: No, baby, you're closest to the fridge. Me: Post feminism, my fucking ass. Me: *picks up nearest mason jar, smells contents* This is not wine. It is water. M: *gets up, gently moves me aside and fetches a beer* |
She Blinded Me With Science
Merry Christmas All!.....
8yo Mancub: I'm not going to do anything, I'm just LOOKING at my Chemistry Set. Me: Okay Mancub: I have my safety goggles on.... Me: Good ! Mancub: I'm ready to do some Science. Me: no. I don't think so. Mancub: Whyyyyyyyy noooot.....?!?! Me: Because you have nothing else on. Mancub: (looks down at his naked body only wearing underpants) Oh yeah. :::giggles::: He returns from his room now wearing the safety goggles, underwear.....and shoes. This is how he's dressed and eating breakfast. |
gettng ready to watch "american horror story" this is the exchange
sneeze from the cat several of them me: Bud r u ok cinn: maybe he is allergic to the pine tree me: bud sneezed cinn: I know me: what pine tree cinn: the tree oh wait that isnt a real tree I love her so |
While folding laundry a 10 year old kid voice calls out...
"Hey moooooom! I'm about to do something that the box says requires adult supervision! Does that mean you have to watch or just be in range?" Katniss~~(tossing laundry and running off to locate voice) |
My marbles have fallen out of the bag and I can't find them....
|
Niece to cousin:
'You know its getting serious when you fuck sober' |
Quote:
|
Quote:
|
| All times are GMT -6. The time now is 08:39 AM. |
ButchFemmePlanet.com
All information copyright of BFP 2018